>"Anons, I...don't know if I should ask this of you, but I fear that desperate times call for desperate measures. The Griffons, the Minotaurs, and the Diamond Dogs have already conquered our allies in Saddle Arabia. The Crystal Empire is facing internal turmoil. Equestria stands alone. Humans are well versed in warfare. We need a weapon to change the outcome of this terrible war. Please, will you help us?"
 
>This is, very suddenly, the only thread on /mlp/.
>What the fuck?
>What happened to the rest of the board?
>You click Refresh.
>Still the only thread.
>In fact nothing changes except for the number of replies to this one thread.
>You click on it.
>In doing so, you notice the the number of replies has increased again.
>Dramatically.
>You scroll through some of the replies.
>To your surprise, only a few are asking the "why is this the only thread here?" question that still dominates the moment for you.
>The rest--the vast majority--are actually responding to the question being posed.
>Most of them say "yes" in some way.
>Some are, predicatably, more enthusiastic than others.
>Probably the sunfags.
>Hell, even that "nuke anon" guy posted a reply.
>You don't have to wonder for long what this is.
>Clearly it's some sort of CYOA.
>Like that Guard Survival thing.
>What the hell are you doing with yourself this weekend?
>Maybe a good CYOA could be therapeutic somehow.
>Why the hell not.
>You post a reply of your own.
"Sure, why not."
>You sit back and wait for the OP to start whatever the fuck it is.
>Suddenly, something doesn't feel quite right.
>You feel yourself involuntarily squinting.
>You look out your window.
>It's very bright out side all of a sudden, isn't it?
>A whirr from your computer directs your attention back.
>Someone has tagged thousands of replies.
>including yours.
>As you read what it says, the light from the window only gets brighter.
>"Thank you all. Even I never expected this kind of generous response. What you will do will be remembered through the halls of time for all eternity."
>"I ask that you gather whatever weapons and provisions you would bring, and leave your homes."
>The light from outside is becoming unbearable.
>You don't know what the fuck is going on at this point.
>You look to you closet, which holds the one true weapon you possess.
>A Moist Nugget.
>You sigh.
"Whatever, man."
>Squinting is required to see your way to the closet door.
>Upon opening it, you grab the black soft case which holds your rifle.
>You also make sure to grab the bag which holds your ammunition.
>It's a lot heavier than you remember.
>Not a surprise, considering you haven't fired this thing in months.
>Hearing a clank on the floor, you look down.
>The old trench knife you bought at a surplus store lays at your feet.
>You pick it up and clip it to your pants.
>Might need this, too.
>You leave your room, go downstairs and head out the front door.
>The light completely consumes you.
>All you can see is white.
>It's accompanied only by an intense warmth
>Getting to the point where it's burning, both literally and figuratively.
 
 
>After what seems like an eternity, it begins to fade.
 
 
>You find yourself in a line.
>One of many lines.
>Lines full of people you've never seen before.
>The vast majority seem as confused as you.
>There are a select few who seem, in some way, excited.
>Probably the sunfags.
>Looking closer at the people around you, you make note of the weaponry some of them have.
>Most have swords and other bladed weapons.
>Some, like you, have guns.
>And some have nothing at all.
>As you move forward in the line, you look ahead.
>At the front of each line, there is...
>A fucking Stallion?
>Each is dressed in the Royal Guard attire you know from the show.
>They seem to be processing those ahead of you, sending them off in different directions.
>Separation looks to be determined by what weapons are had.
>As your turn approaches, the guard points to your case.
>"What do you have in there, human?"
"Uhh, a rifle."
>"Alright..."
>He points off to the right, through a large arch.
>"...well, if you would be so kind as to go through there, you'll be assimilated into your unit, and shown to your barracks."
"Uhh, o-okay, thank you."
>The guard bows.
>"And on behalf of Equestria... thank you."
>You nod cautiously and make your way towards where he said.
>Looking back, you notice that you're part of a minority.
>Apparently, most of these faggots don't have guns.
>You shrug.
>"Sir?"
>You look back.
>Another pair of guards stand before you.
>"Is that a 'long rifle'?"
"Y-Yea."
>He looks to the other one, a unicorn, who uses his magic to float a clipboard in front of his face.
>Wait a second...
>...that's Shining Armor.
>"Take him to room Thirty-Eight."
>"Yes sir."
>The other one looks back to you.
>"Follow me, mister human."
>You nod as he turns around, and follow him down the massive, colorful hall.
>You admire the art in many of the stained glass windows.
>"No one in Equestria thought that we would get such a response from... 'Slash M-L-P Slash.' The princesses are both overwhelmed with gratitude."
"Uhh... thanks?... Listen, where the hell am I?"
>The guard looks up at you, seemingly perplexed at your question.
>"Well, you're in Canterlot!"
>What?
"...What...?"
>"Of course! Where else did you think you were?"
"...Well... I mean, I WAS on the porch of my house... How did I--"
>"The princess' magic is very powerful, sir. You've ALL been brought here. Don't worry; you'll all be receiving the finest accommodations we can offer."
>He stops and points to an open door.
>"This is where you'll be for now. The rest of your unit is here, minus your sergeant, who's currently being briefed."
"Thanks..."
>"Of course, sir."
>He goes back to rejoin Shining Armor.
>You stand there in front of the door for a moment.
>Taking a deep breath, you go inside.
 
 
>The room is luxurious, to say the least.
>The five beds are massive, and there is a lounge area behind them.
>There is a door off to the right, which leads into the bathroom.
>Just looking from the front door, you can tell it's probably huge.
>At three of the beds, there are young men, similar to you, who are busy unloading their bags and shit before they all look up at you.
>As they look at you, you stare each of them up and down.
>One is dressed in a WWII German uniform.
>You figure there are probably a few of those faggots on /mlp/ at any given time.
>Another is in a much more official-looking camo, with a Canadian patch on his shoulder.
>The third is in a Fluttershy shirt and jeans.
>That'll be really weird if she ever sees him.
>"So that just leaves our 'sergeant'," the Nazifag says to the Canadian.
>The Canadian nods.
>He looks to you.
>"Welcome to our little family, Anon."
"Thank you, Anon," you say with a chuckle.
>"Yea, I guess we're all Anons here, aren't we?" the guy in the Fluttershy shirt jokes.
>You put your things down on the bed closest to the door.
>Looking to the left of the bed, you see what looks to be a large dresser.
>Each bed has one like this next to it.
>You open it up.
>There's stands for weapons on the bottom, and quite a bit of room on top for whatever else.
>You take your bag with you ammo and place it up there as you hear three knocks on the door.
>You all look up as another stallion comes in, walks over to the last bed and places two large cases next to it.
>"Your sergeant has arrived," he says. "Rise and salute him."
>The Canadian and the Nazifag both snap toward the door and salute.
>You and the guy in the Flutters shirt sluggishly do the same.
>You don't know how the fuck to salute.
>You've never been in the military.
>You've never even been in the fucking Boy Scouts.
>You look the guy up and down as he enters.
>He's another guy in his early twenties, like you.
>He's wearing a grey hoodie, khaki cargos and what look to be steel-toed shoes.
>He's also wearing an Eagles hat, backwards.
>In each hand, he has a long-gun case.
>On his hip is a revolver.
>His eyes are tired, his face dirty.
>The stallion guard snaps a quick salute, then leaves the room.
>"Thank you... sir stallion...?"
>The guy sounds as tired as he looks.
>"Of course, sergeant."
>The stallion closes the door behind him.
>Your sergeant drudges over to his bed and tosses the case down on it before looking to you all.
>He rolls his eyes.
>"Put your hands down, will ya?"
>You all do as he says.
>He sits down on the bed.
>"Well, good afternoon, fellow horsefuckers..."
>"Hello, sir," the Canadian says.
>"Hiya, horsefucker," the Nazifag says.
>"So... apparently I'm your sergeant now... I'm just gonna say this, I have no fucking idea how they selected me for this shit, buuuut... whatever."
>He wipes his eyes.
>"Too tired for this shit..." he mumbles, looking down at the floor as he speaks.
>"Alright, so here's what you need to know... So I'm assuming you noticed that we were all... uh, separated by what weapons we brought."
>You all nod.
>"Well... it would seem, their reasoning is that the more advanced a weapon you have, the more advanced a unit you're placed in..."
>He points his finger towards the middle of the room and spins it.
>"...so those of us with guns are the elite units."
>He looks up at you all.
>"Basically, we're going to be used in... sort of a 'special forces' role."
>"Damn," the Nazifag says.
>What?
>Seriously?
>You're supposed to go from no combat experience to the equivalent of an Army Ranger or a Navy fucking SEAL?
"Are they just kind-of assuming we've all seen some insane amount of action...?"
>"Those of us with guns, yea," he chuckles. "So this is kinda like Black Ops, except we're facing a bunch of giant creatures and we could actually die."
>Fucking lovely.
>"Some hardcore shit," the guy with the Fluttershy shirt says.
>"Yea... so, I think if we're gonna be a special forces unit, we need to... I dunno, figure out what each person's role is gonna be."
>He slowly stands up.
>"So, uhh... loadouts on the beds, let's see what we got here."
>While all your teammates around you begin pulling out their weapons, you turn around and unzip your soft case, revealing your Moist Nugget, from Tula, made in 1942.
>Or at least the receiver was.
>Most Nuggets are mutts anymore.
>Meanwhile, your sergeant looks at the Canadian's stuff.
>"You military?"
>Yessir, Canadian Army."
>"Okay, and I'm guessing your a sniper."
>"Yessir."
>"Alright, you're our sniper."
>Yessir."
>"Don't call me sir, I'm not fuckin' John Wayne."
>"Okay."
>Sergeant looks at Nazifag's shit next.
>"Is that... that an MG-34?"
>"Yup," he replies with a smile.
>"Not even gonna ask how you got your hands on that; you're our support gunner."
>"No shit."
>You all laugh quietly.
>He moves on to the Flutterguy.
>"I see... a Mossberg 464 and... shit for molotovs?"
>"Yea."
>"Alright... you're our explosives guy."
>He turns back to the Canadian.
>"You bring any grenades?"
>"A few."
>"Give them to him."
>Finally, he moves to you.
>"Soo... a Moist Nugget.... and a trench knife."
>He looks back up at you.
>"That it?"
>You shrug.
"All I got, man."
>He looks back down at it.
>"Well... I'ds say the kinfe warrants you as... the hand-to-hand guy."
>For fuck's sake.
"You kidding?... Dude, I have NO hand-to-hand experience...in fact, I have NO combat experience AT ALL."
>"I think there's only one person in here who does, man..."
>He sighs heavily again.
>"I dunno, man, we'll figure it out."
>He slowly shuffles back over to his bed.
>"Aaaaand I guess I'm the, sort-of... close-quarters-to-mid-range guy."
>He opens his won shit.
>Along with the revolver, he has an SKS rifle and some sort of double-barrel 12-gauge.
>You can only assume the other cases are full of ammo.
>He puts it all down next to his bed and lays down.
>"You faggots make yourselves comfortable... we'll be... receiving orders... in a few hours."
>He turns over, away from all of you.
>"Somebody wake me up when they do, yea?"
>"Yup," Nazifag replies.
>Maybe if you do that, you'll wake up and realize this was all a dream.
>Worth a shot.
 
>You try to get some sleep.
 
>You fail miserably.
 
>The Canadian notices that you're awake as he listens to his headphones.
>Whether you want to or not, you're awake.
>"Sorry, I don't mean to keep ya up."
"It's fine."
>Well, sorry anyway..."
"Dude, it's cool."
>You roll back over.
 
>You try to sleep again.
 
>Again, you fail.
 
>You look back at Sergeant as he sits up himself.
"Ffffuck..."
>Clearly this isn't a dream.
>You sit up again.
>Nazifag notices you this time.
>He nods to you and jokingly throws out a Sieg Heil before the door is knocked on again.
>Sergeant sit up.
>"Shiiit."
>He gets out of his bed and drudges over to the door.
>Upon opening it, he receives a letter.
>He takes the letter and moves to shut the door again, but the stallion says something.
>"By the way... can we get a name for this unit?"
>Sergeant stops to think about it.
>"Sunbutt's Harem!" Nazifag calls.
>You can't help but laugh.
>"NO."
>"...That name's already taken anyway..." the stallion admits.
>You laugh even harder.
>"Uhhh, what about Delta Squad?"
>"Hmm... We have a Delta TEAM, delta UNIT, Delta FORCE, Delta FARCE, Delta FAGGOTS, Delta HAREM.... Nope, no Delta SQUAD, from what I see."
>"Well there is now."
>"Alright, well, good luck Delta Squad."
>"Thanks."
>He closes the door.
>"Why Delta Squad?" Nazifag asks.
>"Because Republic fucking Commando, that's why."
>Good reference.
>He begins to tear into the letter.
>Everyone leans towards him with intrigue as he opens it.
>His eyes give it a quick glance over.
>"By order of Princess Luna, we're goin' on a night mission."
>"Is this a covert op?" the Canadian asks.
>"Think so."
>He looks up to all of you.
>"Alright... get your shit together... whatever you're bringin' and let's go."
>You hop out of bed, and the group begins packing their shit.
>"So I love how we still don't know each other's names yet," Flutterguy says.
>"Well," sergeant replies, "I kinda feel like this is all still akin to the board... so maybe nicknames instead of names."
>He stops and looks at you all, pointing to each of you as he assigns you nicknames.
>"Fritz... Maple..."
>"Funny," Maple says.
>"...Flut--Pyro, Pyro..."
>He turns to you.
>"...aaaaand... Nugget."
>Nugget?
>Really?
"And you'll be Sarge."
>He sighs.
>"How 'bout Boss?"
"Fine, Boss."
 
 
>You collectively follow a stallion through an open field, which is chock full of various vehicles.
>Human vehicles.
"How did these all get here?"
>"Uhh..." Boss begins, "I think it's something like, if you replied with an image on your post, or ya mentioned like 'I'm gonna roll in with muh tank', the thing appeared here. Apparently Nuke Anon put up a pic with a bunch of planes, so he's got an entire squadron to himself."
>Oh God.
>Nuke Anon's actually got nukes.
>"I hope they send him wherever we're NOT goin'," Pyro remarks.
>You all laugh.
>Fritz goes to make a joke.
>"Least he's not.... nevermind."
>Yea, better he doesn't say anything about nuking Canterlot with this stallion here.
>You admire all the various vehicles you're finding here.
>Tanks, helicopters, trucks of all sorts.
>The stallion speaks up.
>"Here's your ride, sirs."
>You look back over as the group stops in front of a Huey helicopter.
>There are two more anons prepping it.
>They're both classic /k/ommandos.
>Operator as fuck.
>"You guys Delta?" one asks as he stops what he's doing and comes over.
>"Yup," Boss replies, shaking his hand.
>"We're Cowboy, we'll be taking you up north for this mission."
>"Alright."
>He looks back to you all.
>"Climb aboard... Delta Squad."
 
 
>You can barely hear Boss in your earbud over the roar of the helicopter.
>"Alright, here's the full story. Looks to be a special unit of ponies caught on the wrong side o' the border. We're gonna get dropped on the Equestrian side and make our way over. While we're at it, the want us to retake a little pony outpost that's been overrun by the bulls."
>The /k/ommando flying the chopper chimes in.
>"They tell me the fightin's been real bad on this particular part of the border. We COULD be dropping you in a hot LZ, so be ready!"
>"I though this was a covert op!" Maple says.
>"Not a chance in hell!"
>The other /k/ommando points out the window.
>"Cowboy Three's gonna watch your back as you make your way over the border!"
>You all look out to see a Huey gunship fly up alongside you.
>It's little more than a shadow in the dying light of the already-set sun.
>"Delta One, this is Cowboy 3, we're on station covering your approach, over."
>"Uhh, roger that, Cowboy 3, we're starting our approach now," Boss replies.
>"Be advised, Delta 1, you're flying into a hot LZ. Multiple infantry targets. Watch those horns, we're told they like to ram, over."
>"Thanks for the heads-up, Cowboy. We know what guns can do yet?"
>"This is gonna be first contact, Delta... Congrats, you're makin' history."
>Lovely.
>They don't even know if guns will do anything.
>You're going in completely blind.
>"Thirty seconds out!" your pilot declares.
>You look at the Nugget in your hands again.
>You have enough trouble firing this thing at a range.
>What the hell are you gonna do in the heat of fucking combat?
>As the helicopter begins to glide downward, your all taken aback when Fritz fires a burst from the MP40 he also has with him.
>You were so fixated on the MG34 he has on his back, you never noticed it before.
>"Watch this side, they're already comin'!" He calls out to the rest of you.
>The helicopter touches down with a thud.
>"Good luck, boys!" the /k/ommando calls as the five of you jump out.
>You and Boss jump out of the same side.
>You're immediately greeted by a big, angry Minotaur.
>He roars as he lowers his head and begins to lunge down on you.
>Boss instinctively lets a round go from his side-by-side.
BANG!
>The result is almost cartoonish.
>Now, normally, a twelve to the chest would put hole the size of a train tunnel in you.
>But in this case, it rips the fucker right in half, and sends the top half hurling about ten feet.
>You both stand there speechless, wide-eyed as the dying bull gurgles in agony.
>Your look at each other.
>The two of you share the same holy-shit-did-you-see-what-I-saw expression.
>The pair of bulls with him stare down in horror as he gurgles his last gurgle.
>Quick, while they're distracted!
>You raise your Nugget to eye level, draw a quick bead on the head of one, and let the round go.
PANG!
>The bull's head explodes.
>Its contents fly about.
>Like, HOLY SHIT!
>As you cycle the bolt, Boss blows the third bull in half.
>As the chopper lifts off again and disappears, you both look behind you.
>Your squad mates are busy wondering how the fuck a group of 9mm rounds can make holes THAT big.
>This is very strange, but you're not arguing.
>Better than not doing anything at all.
>Cowboy 3 roars overhead.
>"Well, DAMN, Delta."
>"Yea, really... we're moving east now."
>"Roger that; we're on station if you need us."
>Your comrades gather behind you, and you all follow Boss as the last glimmer of light disappears.
 
 
>As you move along, you can't help but be distracted by the bodies.
>So many bodies.
>There are dead stallions, mares, bulls and even a few griffons.
>And they're everywhere.
>It's a pretty bloody mess, actually.
>You shudder.
>They weren't kidding about the fighting around here being intense.
>You've half expecting to walk into a battle, like in the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
>"Heads on a swivel," Maple mumbles.
>You nod to yourself.
>"Maple, ya wanna scout ahead?"
>"Yea."
>Maple jogs ahead of the rest of you as you approach the slope of the one-sided plateau you've been dropped on.
>As the rest of you rejoin him, you look down towards the valley.
>The five of you stare silently down at the satellite base.
>It's very minimal, just two small buildings.
>There USED to be fences surrounding them; clearly they were torn down in the fighting.
>And let's not forget the bodies everywhere.
>Maple looks through the scope on his rifle.
>"Looks like they're holed up in there, Boss."
>"Okay..."
>"If our little scuffle up here didn't draw them out, I don't think they're comin' out willingly."
>You're only half-listening yourself, as your mind is distracted by the distant sound of Cowboy 3's rotors cutting through the air.
>"If we can draw them out, can you get 'em up here?"
>"Oh yea."
>"Alright."
>You see the wheels turning in Boss' mind.
>"Fritz, you stay up here with Maple, keep his ass covered."
>"Jawohl."
>Boss looks to you and Pyro.
>"You two, come with me."
>The three of you begin traversing your way down the embankment.
"So, we got a plan, or...?"
>"Burn 'em out...some kind of 'Fistful of Dollars' shit. That's on you, Flutterguy."
>"I thought it was Pyro."
>"I changed my mind, faggot."
>"Uh... fine, whatever, man."
>IT's about a hundred-fifty-yard slope down to these two buildings.
>You all huddle up near the wall, under a window.
>Whatever this guy's name is puts down his backpack and rifle and begins sifting through it, making the shit for a molotov.
>You look to Boss, who's reloading his shotgun.
"So what happens when they com out?" you whisper.
>"I kill them, I guess."
"What about the other building?"
>"Why don't you guys hit that up after you dump this?"
>You shrug.
>Makes sense.
>"I'm ready," Flutterguy says as he stands back up, fully-made cocktail in one hand and a lighter in the other.
>"Right."
>Boss puts his shotgun to the window as Flutterguy lights the molotov.
>The glass falls on you as Boss shoots the window out and Flutters tosses the molotov inside.
>Bull immediately begin freaking out inside.
>"Let's get outta here!" one of them shouts.
"Let's go!"
>You and Flutterguy run around the corner as Boss heads to the front of the small building.
>As the two of you begin doing the same thing to the other place, you hear gunshots ring out, both close and from up the hill.
>Boss begins yelling in a very un-sergently manner.
>"Abandon your posts!..."
BANG!
>"...FLEEEEEEE, FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!"
>Flutterguy hastily makes another molotov as you lift your rifle to the window.
>"Go!"
>You fire the shot.
>He throws it in.
>The two of you rush around to the front door and raise your guns.
>The first thing out of this door is actually a griffon.
>The two of you shoot at once.
>He stumbles back and falls down, dying.
>No on else comes out.
>You and Flutterguy look at eachother.
>"Wanna check inside?"
"Yea, get my back."
>You sling you rifle over your shoulder and pull the trench knife from your belt.
>You didn't think you'd be doing THIS today.
>You take a deep breath and kick the griffon out of the doorway as Boss joins Flutterguy.
>"RAWR!"
>YOU suddenly feel a pair of hands grab you and throw you against the wall.
>A very angry bull is glaring at you.
>You freeze for a moment as he lowers a horn at your throat.
>Quick, asshole, do something!
>You punch him with the knuckles.
>"Awwgh!"
>He stumbles back.
>You tackle him to the floor and slash his neck.
>As the blood spits onto your face, he begins to choke on it, and slowly croaks.
 
>Whoa.
>Holy shit.
>What did you just do?
>You stand up as Flutterguy and Boss look at the dead bull.
>"I thought you didn't have any training in hand-to-hand," Boss remarks.
"Well... I guess combat us the best trainer."
>"Yea, I guess."
>He peeks his head out the door.
>"HEY GUYS! WE'RE CLEAR!"
>Flutterguy still stares at the dead bull as you slowly step back, looking down at your bloodied trench knife.
>"Dude, holy shit."
"Yea..."
>Meanwhile, Boss calls up to Cowboy 3.
>"Cowboy 3, this is Delta 1, position secure."
>"Roger that, Delta 1. I'll radio back to command. Proceed to next objective, over."
>"Yup."
>The squad regroups in front of the second building.
>"This is Cowboy 3, we're at bingo fuel. Orders directly from our Dear Princess: Head north through the enemy lines and reinforce this pony squad until someone gets an evac out to you."
>"Roger," Boss replies.
>"You're on your own, Delta Squad. Good luck."
>"Thank you."
>He looks to the lot of you.
>"Alright, we heard the fucker... North it is."
"Through the mountains?"
>"I guess so."
>You shrug as you glance around at your allies.
 
 
>Having little other choice, you all head north up the dirt trail which heads into the mountains.
>It goes without saying that you have to keep your head on a fucking swivel.
>In the darkness, anything could come at you.
>And if a bull grabs you before you know where he is, your nugget's not gonna save you.
>Boss has thrown his shotgun over his back and has replaced it with the SKS,
>He and Maple are taking point because, unlike any of you, Maple has night-vision goggles.
>Y'know.
>Because he's an actual soldier.
>He suddenly stops as the trees begin to clear away and open up.
>You all do as he does.
>He turns to Boss and whispers something, pointing up ahead.
>Boss beckons the rest of you to join them.
>You, Flutterfaggot and Fritz creep up to them.
>"That's the border there."
>You look down the path.
>Indeed, there's a wall.
>With Griffons on and around it.
>That's a problem, isn't it?
"That's a problem, isn't it?"
>"No shit."
"What do we do about it?"
>"I dunno."
"But you're the sergeant."
>"Leave him alone, man," Maple whispers.
"But we can't just stand here in the middle of the path."
>"Okay, step one: move to the trees."
>You collectively scurry off the open path and into the nearest pack of trees.
>As Maple looks through his scope and watches the griffons on the wall, the rest of you crouch and wonder what the hell to do.
>"Well," Boss begins, "I mean, we should... I... shit."
>Yea.
>You guys suck at this now.
>"And no one thought to pic-relate an RPG?" Fritz scoffs.
"Yea, really..."
>Just when you feel completely useless, you headsets crackle to life.
>"...lta One, this is Nuke Anon, Delta one this is Nuke Anon, are you reading?"
>Oh dear God.
>"Uhh, yea, I hear you."
>"I hear you guys have a bit of an immigration issue."
>Boss chuckles.
>"Yea, customs is being a cunt. It's just north of our position... I mean ya can't miss it, man."
>"Roger..."
>You all listen up to the sky.
>You don't hear any propellors yet.
>When a sound finally does come, it's definitely not a bomber.
>"What its that, a P-fucking-47?" Boss shouts over the noise.
>Nuke doesn't respond.
>The man is working.
>"Target acquired... Fox all."
>You hear the whizzing of a rocket.
>Multiple rockets, in fact.
"Maybe we should duck!"
>You huddle up on the ground.
>The explosion is bright, loud and shakes the ground beneath you
>"WOOOOOO!" Nuke Anon calls. "Motherfucker!"
>Boss and Flutterfucker laugh.
>As you look up at the burning crater where that part of the wall was a moment ago, you can't help but smile yourself.
>Yea.
>That was pretty sick.
>"Direct hit, Nuke!" Boss confirms.
>"Roger that. Good luck, Delta."
>"Alright, let's move over before they figured out what the fuck just happened."
>All five of you burst out of the trees and rush towards the fiery hole in the wall.
>You hear the cries of angry griffons.
>Boss begins firing shots into the air at targets you can't see.
>Fritz fires a few bursts at one who is trying to get back off the ground.
>Flutterfaggot moves ahead and puts a pair of rounds into another dying griffon.
>You step widely as you traverse the rubble of the wall.
>"Let's go, c'mon, over the border!"
>There ya go, Boss.
>Starting to sound like a sergeant.
>He's still shooting, too.
>As you clear the debris, you kick your legs into the next gear as you all slip away into the darkness.
 
 
>The mountain night is cold and dark.
>You spend your time hoping you're actually going north.
>But when you guys come across a large, war-torn village, you figure you're going the right way.
"How far in are we?"
>"No idea," Boss replies as he looks to the east, admiring the rising sun as it peaks over the lower mountains.
>You like it too.
>Last night was kinda crazy.
>Boss looks back to the village.
>It's as quiet as death.
>Smells like it, too.
"We sure this is where they are?"
>"Only one way to find out."
>"Should we split up?" Fluttershit asks. "Cover more ground that way."
>No, you fuckin' idiot," Boss immediately snaps. "Christ, of course we stay together."
>"Alright, okay..."
 
 
>The village is even more desolate than you first figured.
>The main drag is almost completely covered in rubble, as if Nuke Anon had been through here, too.
>And it's completely empty, seemingly.
>You get about 100 yards in before you hear a voice.
>An all-too-familiar voice.
>One with a thick country drawl.
 
>"Well, ain't you fellers a sight fer sore eyes!"
>You all look up to where you heard the voice.
>Applejack is smiling down at you from the second-story window of a house that Nuke anon seemingly personally visited.
>You note something interesting.
>You've never noticed her as being any more or less attractive than any of the others in the show.
>But as you look up at her now, her face glowing in the warmth of the morning sun, you find her quite beautiful.
>"You gah's the 'humans' Twilight was talkin' 'bout?"
>"Uhh..."
>Boss looks to the rest of you.
>"...uh, yea, that's us."
>"Thank goodness," AJ sighs. "Some of us are a little torn up--hey, what's Fluttershy doin' on yer shirt?"
>Flutterfaggot freezes.
>Fritz laughs.
>"Uhhh.... it-it's a long... story, uh..."
>Fallout Spaghestria.
>You can't help but laugh yourself.
>Boss smiles and shakes his head, while Maple lets out a chuckle.
>"Alright, alright, Ah don't really care. Ah bet she'll be flattered. C'mon up!"
>You all follow Boss into the doorless doorway, then up the stairs which sit in the foyer.
>As you enter the room she and her friends are in, you examine the scene.
>Twilight has a large gash on one of her legs.
>Pinkie Pie, who, like Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash, is sleeping, has a few bruises.
>Dash is the worst by far, as she has both of her wings hurriedly taped up.
>Twilight smiles with relief.
>"You must be Delta Squad."
>You all nod.
>"You didn't have to fight this war, you know... you're very brave for what you're doing. Thank you."
>"It's our pleasure," Maple says quietly.
>Twilight looks at you all, but her eyes fix on Flutterguy.
>"Hey... What's Fluttershy doing on your shirt?"
>Fritz, not wanting to wake the other ponies up, does his damnedest not to burst out laughing.
>You all do the same.
>Even Applejack lets out a chuckle this time.
>"Oh wait!" Twilight whispers.
>She limps over to Rarity.
>Your heart sinks as you watch her walk.
>"Rarity...Rarity..." she whispers.
>Rarity replies with one of those what-do-you-want-I'm-sleeping groans.
>"Rarity, the humans are here...!"
>She slowly, gracefully opens her eyes.
>Upon noticing the five of you, they shoot wide open.
>You notice Boss' eyes are fixed on her as well.
>He must be a Rarifag.
>She slowly sits up, a smile rolling across her face and tears beginning to well in her eyes.
>Boss kneels down to her level.
>"Rarity, we're Delta Squad," he says softly.
>"I... I was b-beginning to lose hope..."
>"We're here to get you out of here, okay?"
>He takes one of her hooves in his hand and gently kisses it.
>She blushes as tears begin rolling down her face.
>"...R-Rugged AND dashing..."
>Boss blushes and has to look away.
>Fritz holds back another chuckle.
>"Now who's got the spaghetti?" FLutterguy scoffs.
>"Least it's not on my shirt, faggot," Boss immediately snaps back.
"Yea, dude, you kinda lose that argument until you get another shirt."
>Flutterguy hangs his head.
>"Yea, I know."
>Rarity suddenly leans in and hugs Boss out of the blue, gently weeping as she does.
>"So, uh... you guys have a plan?" Twilight asks.
>Boss is a little occupied.
"Well our orders were to protect you guys until they can get us out. So... I would think that's the plan?"
>Boss nods, still hugging Rarity.
"Well there ya go."
>"So we're just gonna hole up here, huh?" Applejack says as she sits on her back legs and looks back out the window.
>"Ah sure hope someone gets here soon... Like Ah said. We're not at exactly a-hunerd percent here."
>"We can see that," Maple remarks. "What's been happening?"
>Twilight sighs.
>"They're sending bigger and bigger creatures after us... bigger Minotaurs, bigger Griffons... and some other things..."
"Like?"
>"A manticore."
>Oh Christ.
>"An' Celest'ya knows what else they got out there..."
>"Uh--umm...."
>You all look over.
>Fluttershy, now awake, is staring wide-eyed at herself on Flutterfucker's t-shirt.
>Fritz, Boss, Maple and yourself all burst out laughing, waking up Pinkie and Dash.
>The ponies, seeing the situation for themselves, begin laughing too.
>After a few moments, Flutterguy starts laughing too.
>"This is the worst shirt I could have picked..."
"Ya think?"
>A loud crash silences all of you.
>Fluttershy yelps and curls up in a ball.
>Rarity jumps into Boss' arms again.
>He looks to you guys.
>He points to Flutterfag and Fritz.
>"Door, downstairs window..."
>They immediately rush back downstairs.
>He puts Rarity down and points to you.
>"THAT window..."
>You jog over to the left window and stick the business end of your Nugget out the window, glancing around desperately for the source of the noise.
>"...and you... shit, find a way up top."
>"Alright."
>Maple dashes away.
>You hear some thumping around as he finds a way onto what's left of the roof.
>Boss joins you, taking the right window.
>"See anything up there?!" he calls.
>"Nah!"
>"Downstairs, anything?!"
>"I've got movement on the right!" Fritz replies.
>You shift your gun to the right, as does everyone else.
>You look back to the ponies, who are all huddled together in the corner.
>"Ain't heard nothin' THAT loud..." Applejack says, her voice shaking.
>Rarity continues to step further back.
>"I'm scared..." she whimpers.
>"It's gonna be alright, I promise," Boss tries to assure her, his voice shaking a little himself.
"We're scared, too... trust me. But we got this."
>Another loud noise shake the remaining foundations of the house.
>One of the houses across the way comes crashing down.
>Stumbling through the ashy smoke emerges a massive bull, clad in armor.
>He's roughly the height of the house he just crashed through.
"Holy shit!"
>"Everybody open up!"
>You don't have to think this time.
>Your ears begin to roar with gunfire as everybody starts shooting.
>The fucker's armor is shrugging these bullets off.
>It glares in your direction.
>"Shit!"
"I think we're just pissing it off!"
>It begins stomping towards you, shaking the ground as it does.
>You keep firing at the helmet and cycling the bolt on your nugget until you empty the magazine.
>You can feel its eyes bearing down on you as your shaking hands try to reload the empty mag.
>Forcing the stripper clip into the top, you cut your thumb feeding the rounds.
>You cock the bolt and raise your gun.
>Before you even pull the trigger, a giant hand sweeps away the wall and sends you flying.
>You feel as though it lasts an eternity before you land on your back.
>On the street.
>You're very dizzy, and your ears are ringing.
>You glance up to see Boss scrambling to regain his grip on the side of the house.
>Maple is doing something similar on the roof.
>You lean your head back and stare up at the massive behemoth, ignoring you as it reaches into the second floor.
>It pulls Rarity out and holds her in its hand as she screams for Twilight.
>You try to stand up, but you can't.
>You see a flash of Boss as he jumps from the second story onto the bull's left horn and starts shooting.
>Your ears are ringing so loudly you can't hear the shots.
>The bull uses its free hand to reach up, grab Boss and toss him into the ground nearby.
>Rarity screams in terror, marking the first thing you hear over the ringing in your ears.
>You slowly gain the strength to sit up, your ears still ringing.
>The Nugget is nowhere nearby.
>It's probably lost in the rubble of the wall.
>You hear a "Brrrrrrrrt.... brrrrrrt" as Fritz re-emerges from the rubble and opens up with the MG34, using the rubble to prop it with the tripod.
"Take out its base!" you yell, at least you hope that's what you said.
>"You still can't hear yourself.
>Fritz nods to you and continues.
>You crawl away a little and look back.
>Its legs are unarmored.
>Boss lays motionless, not far from you.
>The further you crawl away from where you were, the more you can hear.
>You shake your head a few times, and your hearing slowly comes back.
>You hear a loud crash behind you.
>Looking back, you see the minotaur struggling to stand, crashing into another ruined house.
"Keep going!"
>"I'm reloading!"
>He's replacing th drum magazine as he replies.
"Gimme your Forty!"
>He points down to it.
>"Take it!"
>You pick it up and cock the bolt.
>You grew up on Medal of Honor, so of course you know how to do that.
>You aim for its legs and fire a few bursts.
TATATA---TATA--TATATATATA
>The bull drops Rarity, reaching down for its left leg.
>She immediately dashes over to Boss and desperately begs him to wake up.
>You continue firing as Fritz joins you.
Brrrrrrrrt-brrrrt....Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
>Flutterfag bursts from the rubble and looks at you two.
>"Legs! Aim for the legs!"
>He turns around and starts shooting away with his lever-action.
>You fire a few more bursts before it starts clicking.
"I'm out!"
>Fritz reaches into his shirt to get you another mag, but he's interrupted by the bul crashing down to the ground, roaring in agony.
>Boss finally sits up, his face covered in blood, and pulls the shotgun from off his back.
"Boss, stay down, man!"
>"Shut... the fuck up!"
>He struggle to stand, but falls back down.
>"Gimme that gun!" Fritz demands.
>"Fine... kill it!"
>He tosses the gun into Fritz's arms.
>"Both... barrels, you Nazi faggot!"
>"Yea, yea!'
>He hops up onto the chest of the big bull and aims at its head.
>Thankfully, its face isn't armored.
>A massively loud BANG! silences the agonized bull.
>Fritz stands there for another moment, looking like a total badass.
>He then jumps off the hulking mass and tosses the shotgun down next to Boss, who's sitting up again.
>"See... I told ya, we'll keep you guys safe..."
>A voice crackles over your headsets.
>"Delta 1, this is Voodoo 6, Delta 1, this is Voodoo 6, we are inbound now. You boys better lay down plenty of coverin' fire on our approach, over."
>"Roger that, Voodoo 6."
>He glances to Rarity, then looks at you guys, trying to act as sergeantly as possible.
>She can see right through it and giggles as he speaks.
>"Everybody listen up! Search and rescue bird is inbound now. All points, on me!"
>You chuckle to your self, but humor him nonetheless.
>If Dress Horse was your waifu, you'd want your squadmates making you look as cool as possible too.
"Yes sir."
>Maple comes down what's left of the stairs, holding Rainbow Dash in his arms.
>Applejack helps Twilight as they come down behind him.
>You and your other comrades all assemble around your still-sitting sergeant.
>"What was that, 'sir'?" Maple asks.
>Boss sighs.
>He must get tired real easy.
>"Search and rescue bird is inbound...Voodoo 6, do you have an LZ picked out?"
>"This is Voodoo 6, LZ is due south of your position, over."
>"Back outside of town?"
>"Affirmative, Delta."
>He looks back up to you guys.
>"Ya heard the man, let's move out."
>He goes to stand up again, and this time, manages to stay standing.
>You reach down and pick up his shotgun.
>He takes it from you and puts it on his back.
>"Thanks..."
>He looks around.
>"...now where's... oh."
>Rarity is using her magic to float his SKS in front of him.
>He takes it in his arms.
>"Let's get the fuck outta here."
 
 
>The sight of the pair of helicopters--a CH53 and a Huey Gunship--is a holy one.
>As the CH-53 touches down and the back door opens, another total /k/ommando, AK and all, hops out.
>"You Delta?! Let's go!"
>No one argues as you all climb aboard.
>You, completely wiped, lat down across four seats.
>Across from you, Boss plops down in a seat, in a similar stance to the famous Lyra-on-the-bench seating position.
>His face is still covered in bloody dirt.
>Rarity doesn't seem to mind, as she hops up onto his lap.
>He looks down at her, wide-eyed, then looks across at you.
>"Dude...!" he mouths.
>You chuckle, then close your eyes.
 
>The ride back is loud and bumpy, but you try desperately to sleep.
>Of course, you don't.|
>You couldn't be so lucky.
>And of course the /k/ommando keeps asking your comrades questions about their guns and how they performed against the enemy.
>Oh yea.
>That's right.
>Your Nugget is gone.
>You don't know what the fuck you're gonna do now.
>Eh...
>You'll figure it out when you wake up.
 
>As you fall back into your beds in your luxurious barracks, not a word is said between you.
>Sleep.
>That's what you need right now.
>Everything hurts.
>Your body is probably one big bruise.
>Flutterfag limped all the way from the chopper.
>The way Fritz fell into his bed, ya gotta think he's more tired than anyone.
>Not surprising considering the gun he's carrying around.
>And of course, Boss' face is still bloody.
>His pillow will probably be soaked when he wakes up.
>But you have to fall asleep first.
>And of course, you don't get the opportunity.
>Three knocks on the door kill all your hopes and dreams.
>"FUCK OFF," Boss demands.
>A few moments go by.
>Another three knocks.
>"FUCK OFF!"
"Calm down, Boss... I'll get rid of 'im."
>You take one for the team and crawl out of bed.
>You stumble over to the door and open it.
>The stallion just starts talking.
>"Princess Celestia wishes too--...?"
>He pauses as he actually looks up at you.
>"...oh... is this a bad time?"
>You notice someone behind him.
>Oh shit.
"Guys... Princess Celestia is here."
>You hear everybody shoot up behind you.
>Before you know it, Boss is up beside you.
>"What are you talking ab---....ab---... uh---...."
 
>"...woah."
 
>Your thoughts exactly.
>The two of you are gazing upon the single most beautiful being either of you have ever seen and you both know it.
>Her eyes glimmer lovingly at the two of you, until she realizes that Boss has blood all over him.
>Like, it's down his sweater.
>She gasps.
>"Are... are you injured, good sir?"
>Her voice is smooth and soothing.
>You might have creamed your pants a little.
>"Uhh... maybe?"
>She looks to her escort.
>"Lieutenant, fetch a nurse for these humans."
>"Yes, your majesty."
>He bounds away.
>"May I come in?"
>You think the better question is, can YOU come in HER?
>You look to Boss.
"Your call."
>"O-Of course, your majesty."
>You both simultaneously step out of the way and let her enter the room.
>Your comrades all stand up as she enters.
>"Oh, please, you don't need to do that. Please, relax."
>None of you really know what that means until Boss throws out an "As you were."
>He's starting to use the lingo.
>"My good humans," the Princess says, "as the first of your kind to see combat against the enemies of Equestria, I believe you can better understand why I asked for your help."
>You all nod.
>"I have been informed by my faithful subjects, whom your rescued, of your harrowing efforts... and how you very freely risked your lives in the effort."
>She looks to Boss.
>"Rarity told me of your efforts in particular, in taking the fight to the massive minotaur... That was very brave of you... um, what shall I call you?"
>"Just call me Boss, your majesty..."
>"Right... Boss."
>She smiles warmly at him.
>Boss might be blushing, but you can't tell becuase of the blood.
>"Th-Thank you."
>She nods.
>"The success of this mission is not only important for the war effort, but a great boost to morale, considering who it was you rescued. I'm sure you know that the Elements of Harmony are vital to every aspect of our society; your valiant efforts to rescue them will be remembered forever, Delta Squad."
>Her words fill you with warm, fuzzy feels.
>The best kind.
>Yea, you suppose it IS pretty cool, what you guys just did.
>Boss has taken the role of spokesperson for the group.
>"Well, thank you, princess," he says, as tired as ever, "but can we get some sleep now?"
>The Princess giggles.
>It's hot.
>Looking around to your teammates, it's clear to you they're all thinking the same thing.
>Except Flutterfag.
>Must be a Moonfag, too.
>"Well, YOU need some attention before that happens."
>Another pony appears in the doorway.
>It's Nurse Redheart.
>God, she's cute too!
>"Your Majesty, who is it that requires--Oh, dear..."
>She rushes to Boss' side.
>"Oh, you poor thing.... what happened to you?"
>"He got used as a foo--hoofball by a giant minotaur."
>Good save, Fritz.
>You chortle quietly.
>She takes the dark-stained hat off Boss' head, revealing a massive gash at the bottom of his hairline.
>It's only now that you notice the black eye as well.
>"Oh my..."
>Boss doesn't seem to care.
>"Can I just sleep while you do whatever it is you're doing?"
>"A-Are you serious?"
>"We could really use some time to rest up..."
>"Boss, just let 'em do what they're gonna do," Maple suggests, "We need you alive, after all."
>Boss sighs and mumbles something as the nurse begins to pat down his wound with a cloth.
>"It's not too bad, sir; a few stitches at worst, promise."
>"Fine, fine..."
>He stands up.
>"The rest of you get some fuckin' sleep."
>He stumbles out the door after the nurse.
>The Princess bows her head to you all.
>"Thank you again for your efforts, Delta Squad. We will certainly call upon you within the next few days."
>"In the meantime, enjoy yourselves. You've earned it."
>She smiles and leaves the room.
>You all look at each other.
>You all know the first thing on the list.
>Every light is turned off and you all drop back into your beds.
 
 
>You get sleep.
>You didn't think you would.
>In the dream you had, you took a long moonlight stroll with Princess Luna.
>She asked you all kinds of questions about yourself.
>You were surprised at how genuinely interested she seemed in your mundane life.
>She also asked you, if you could have anything in your munitions locker, what would it be.
>You listed a few guns, and asked her why.
>She simply smiled at you.
>You talked about yourself some more, then you woke up.
>Wait.
>That probably actually happened.
>This IS Equestria, after all.
>You look over at the rest of the guys.
>They're all admiring their now-full lockers.
>Except Boss.
>He's laying in his bed, gazing up at the ceiling.
>He has around ten stitches on his forehead.
>Good to see he cleaned up, though.
"Get enough sleep, Boss?"
>He nods.
>"Faggots in the courtyard woke me up though."
>You listen.
>Someone shouts something.
>A bunch of people respond with a "One!"
>He shouts again.
>"Two!"
>He shouts again.
>"Three!"
>Some sort of drilling, obviously.
"Who the fuck is that?"
>"Those are some of the guys who didn't bring anything," Fritz explains as he loads some rounds into a pistol magazine. "They're being trained in how to use a fuckin' spear."
>You go back to listening to them shout.
>They stop their count at five, then start over.
>"Y'know what?"
>Boss rolls out of bed and grabs his pistol from the top of his locker.
"What is that?"
>"Taurus 65, .357 Magnum."
>He walks over to the window and opens it.
>He fires two shots out the window.
BADANG BADANG
>You hear a bunch of young men screaming like twats.
>"SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"
>The four of you fall over laughing.
>You calm down just enough to hear the stallion training them yell back up at them.
>"You humans call that DISCIPLINE?! I'll have you reported to your sergeant for that!"
>"I AM the sergeant, you CUCK!"
>"Well, I'll--..."
>He pauses.
>"Don't do that again!"
>"Y'know, they need to learn how to keep cool under pressure!"
>You laugh even more.
>You know what, Boss, you're kind-of a dick.
>"That's NOT something you can teach with training, sergeant!"
>"HA! No wonder you're losing!"
>He pulls back in and closes the window as you hear the muffled shouts from outside.
>"Awwww, too soon..." Fritz says through his laughter.
>You finally get out of your bed and open up your own locker.
>A smile rolls across your face as you see your new arsenal.
>On top of your Nugget being replaced, you are now in possession of an FN-FAL, a Saiga AK, and an M1 carbine.
>Boss, upon opening his locker, pulls out an M16A2.
>"It's like Christmas!"
>He tosses it on the bed and pulls out a SCAR-L.
>"Luna confirmed for best Santa," Fritz agrees to a round of chuckles.
>"Hey! look who got a new shirt!"
>You all look over to Flutterguy as he holds up an sand-colored button-down.
>The laughs resume as he desperately throws off his Fluttershy shirt and puts this on.
>"That's better... hey, look at that!"
>On the shoulder is a patch, featuring Celestia's cutie mark.
>"Don't feel special, we all got one," Maple remarks as he pulls one out of his locker.
>"I feel so operator!" Flutterguy laughs.
>"You think YOU'RE operator?"
>Boss pulls a half-face mask from his locker.
>It has the same skull jaw design as Ghost himself.
>"THIS is operator!"
>He tosses his hat aside and pulls the mask over his head, then uses his best Cockney accent.
>"Let's move out, Roach!"
>You all laugh again.
>The good times stop when another series of knocks come to the door.
>You all freeze and look to Boss.
>"Ah, shit."
>He walks over and opens the door, still wearing the mask.
>The stallion jumps.
>"Oh... sorry."
>He hands Boss another envelope.
>"New orders, sirs. Good luck."
>"I thought we were gonna have some downtime..."
>"I'm sorry, this is important. Good luck."
>He closes the door.
"Dude, what the fuck..."
>Boss sighs and looks back at the four of you.
>"Well... load up, I guess. Lemme look at this."
>You pull out the M1 and gather the appropriate ammo, of which there is way too much for you to believe this locker can hold it.
>"Alright, well, at least we're not goin' alone on this one... looks like the Badlands have developed a bit of a 'dog' problem."
"Diamond dogs?"
>"Yup, we're gonna be reinforcing a base that's reporting a lot of casualties and need help defending their position. And like I said, we're goin' alone. We'll be joined by a few other units of gun guys."
>"Great... /K/ommandos," Fritz grunts.
>"How few of us are there that WE have to go again?" Maple asks, sounding a little annoyed.
"Well, WE know what our weapons can do."
>"Exactly, we're the only ones who know."
>You shrug.
"Well, at least we got sleep this time."
 
 
>The roar of the chopper rotors aren't quite enough to drown out the music that your pilots have blaring through a bank of speakers he has bolted outside, instead of missile racks.
>It's "American Badass"
>You look out to the other choppers.
>One /k/ommando has his legs hanging off the side.
>You shake your head, secretly hoping he falls.
>Looking back to your own guys, you see Boss, donning his hat AND the mask, nodding his head to the music.
>"Thirty seconds, squad!" the pilot calls out.
>You grab a hold of your rifle.
>As the chopper comes down, you cant see anything outside because of all the dust.
>And CHRIST, is it hot.
>"We're down. Good luck!"
>You all hop out at once, as do your comrades from the other three choppers.
>As they all lift off and fly back into the distance, a weary-looking stallion soldier appears.
>"Oh, thank Celestia," He heaves as he looks at the lot of you. "Thank Celestia..."
>"That bad, huh?"
>He nods. "Which of you is Delta Squad?"
>You and your team raise a hand.
>Boss walks up.
>"We're Delta."
>The stallion manages a smile.
>"You really faced down a King Bull?"
>"That what they called it?"
>"We called it dinner," Fritz cracks.
>"I heard they're big," one of the other /k/ommandos says.
"Big as a fuckin' house."
>"Well... these dogs have been tearing us up bad, but they should be lunch for you guys."
>Boss looks to the other squads.
>You seem to be the only five-man team here.
>"Anyway, I'll leave yo guys to discuss your strategies... and thanks again."
>"Nor problem," Boss replies.
>As the stallion leaves you, the other twelve guys assemble with you.
>"Horsefuckers," Boss acknowledges as you all start shaking hands. "Alright, so who's who?"
>"We're /mlk/," one guy says, and his mates all raise their guns in salute.
>"Screamin' Eagles," a britbog says with a nod, as all his balaclava'd buddies nod with him.
>"We're..."
>The four chortle.
>"...we're Faggot squad."
>Well at least they know.
>"Least ya know," Fritz snipes to a few laughs.
>"Alright," the britbog says, "so what do we NEED to know?"
>"Guns work," Boss said bluntly. "Takes a little more or less depending on what you're shooting at, but guns work."
>"And if one of those King Bulls show up?" the sergeant of Faggot squad asks.
>"Cut its legs out fromm under it."
>"Roger."
>"Now, uhh... let's go and figure the situation out."
>You all pass in front of the rows barracks, windows almost all shattered.
"Holy shit."
>"Ya ain't kiddin'," one of the Eagles agrees.
>The stallion approaches again.
>"Not a pretty sight, is it?"
"Nope."
>"Alright," Boss says, looking around. "I see some towers here, I'd say we get some snipers and MG's in 'em to protect the perimeter. Fritz, Maple, take a tower."
>Fritz points to the one closest, and he and Maple bound away.
>Four guys in total from the other three squads fuck off in different directions.
>"Shouldn't we put some guys IN the buildings, make sure they're not diggin' up through the floor?" /mlk/'s sergeant suggests.
>"Good idea. Flutterfag stays out here..."
>That gets a few chuckles.
>"Flutterfag?" one of the Faggot squadmen asks.
>"Long story," he replies.
>"Anyway," Boss continues, "two or three guys out here with the stallions, and the rest of us in the buildings. Sound good?"
>"Yea," all three sergeants say at once.
 
>Each of the groups split up according to... whatever these other guys are doing.
>You and boss end up in the chow hall with one of the guys from /mlk/.
>He's wearing all black, save for his helmet, which has a desert camo cover.
>He' also rocking a SPAS-12.
"So what do they call you?"
>He looks at you.
>"Dallas," he replies. "We all chose nicknames instead of our real names."
>"We did that too. Y'know, bein' from the board 'n all. We didn't want to go home and start circlejerking with threads trying to find our squadmates."
>"Oh god, I can see it," Dallas replies with a laugh as he shakes his head, hif face covered by a similar half-mask as Boss, but without the design. "Just fifty threads of 'HALP IM TRYING TO FIND MY BROTHERS IN ARMS, I FOUGHT THE DIAMOND DOGS AT XYZ."
>You all laugh.
"You know that's gonna happen anyway, right?"
>"Shit, you're right--"
>Boss is interrupted by a thumping below.
>You all stand up and aim downward.
>Boss quickly looks over his SCAR.
"Wait, what if they're trying to get US?"
>"Tables, tables, tables," Dallas says as he climbs up on one.
>You two do the same.
>The thumping turns into loud knocking.
>Dallas radio's his sergeant with his shoulder radio.
>"Niner, we got movement under the chow hall!"
>"Roger."
>"God, this is like fuckin' Tremors," Boss remarks as he watches a different aisle from you.
>A loud crash comes from the floor near Dallas.
>An ugly brute of a dog sticks its head up and growls loudly before getting its head blown off by Dallas' SPAS-12.
>Another dog comes out and meets a similar fate.
>Another loud crash happens near you and a pair of dogs jump out.
>You put a hole in each of them as another group plows through the floor, closer to where Boss is.
>He begins a steady stream of fire from the SCAR.
>But they just keep coming.
"What is this, horde mode?!"
>As the first clip pings from your gun, you quickly grab another and shove it down before continuing knocking down dogs.
>Good God, they'r everywhere!
>Another hole breaks through.
>You hear other guys calling in over you earpiece.
>"They're everywhere!" Fluttfag calls over the roar of auto gunfire.
>Dallas' team calls in.
>"They're in the med bay; they're tryna grab the injured!"
>"Well aren't you guys just a gaggle of sadistic bastards?!" Dallas comments as he blows another one away.
>As you go to reload, one jumps on top of you, knocking you back onto the table.
>You manage to beat him off with the butt of your M1, then put two in his chest.
>You can't help but note how little you seem to care about the bodies this time around.
>Maybe because they're coming too fast for you to really notice.
>Wait...
>You were able to think about that?
>Looking around, you see that Dallas and Boss are just as confused as you.
>They've stopped coming.
>"Clear!" Someone calls through Dallas' radio.
>"Guys, how's it look?" Boss calls.
>"We got nothin' out here, man, it's dead," Flutterguy replies.
>"Fritz, Maple, what's it look like?"
>"We're all clear up here," Maple says.
>"Yea, I don't see anything," Fritz agrees.
>"Well... j-just keep your eyes open... I don't like this."
>You watch the holes carefully.
"Maybe we should bury these holes. Or at least, like, put something else over them."
>"Good call, Nugget."
>He looks to Dallas.
>"Let's grab some of these chairs and tables and shit."
>Dallas nods.
>You all hop down from the tables you're on and begin grabbing tables, chairs and whatever else you can get your hands on.
>You stuff chairs as deep into the holes as you can.
>Then you move the tables over them.
>It's not much, but it'll do.
>"Niner, we got the holes barricaded as best we can."
>"Copy. Any sign of 'em?"
>"Nope."
>"Roger."
>"Guys, we got movement out here... targets in the distance," Fritz calls.
>"Roger, Fritz, stay frosty."
>You slowly turn to him.
"Really?"
>He chuckles.
>"Yea."
"'Stay frosty'?"
>"Whatever works."
>You begin to hear a fuck ton of gunfire.
>"Boss, we got a problem here!" Flutterguy calls.
>"What's going on?"
>"Boss, there's griffons and bulls everywhere!"
>He looks to you.
>"Let's go."
"Wait!"
>What if...?
"Maybe they're trying to lure us out so they can sneak in through the holes in the ground."
>Boss' eyes widen.
>"Shit, good call... Guys, HOLD POSITION. They're trying to draw US out so they can sneak in."
>"Holy shit, that's crafty!" Maple remarks.
>"Holding position, Boss!" Flutterguy affirms.
>You hear thumping coming from the floor again.
"Called it!"
>"You ready Dallas?"
>"Got 'em."
>The tables and chairs begin shaking violently.
>You aim down one of the barricaded holes as chairs begin to bust up from underneath.
>A dog pokes his head out, and horde mode is on again.
>"Hey, slowed 'em down a little!" Dallas shouts.
>"Better than nothin'!"
>You silently dispatch another dog.
>"Boss, we need HELP out here!" Flutterfag calls again.
>"We're a little busy right now!"
>"Boss, we can't--AAGGGGHHHH!"
>Oh shit.
>You can't tell who it was.
>"Who's hit? Fritz?... Maple?"
>No one's answering.
>You just keep shooting at dog heads.
>Seems you've at least kept them stuck IN the hole.
>Good job, chairs.
>"Dallas, you alright in there?!" Niner calls.
>"Yea, what the fuck is going on?!"
>"I dunno, one of Delta's guys is down!"
>Shit!
"Who is it?"
>"Any idea who?!"
>"No clue!"
>That doesn't help.
>You look to Boss.
>He doesn't seem to be paying attention, as he is too busy shooting whack-a-dogs.
>A hard crash shakes the building.
>"King Bull!" Niner calls. "Delta, we NEED you out here, NOW!"
>Shit.
>You pop one last dog as the three of you head back outside.
 
>It's utter chaos out here.
>Griffons fill the sky, and dead minotaurs and ponies litter the ground.
>And there's a King Bull dropping a few more stallions ahead of you.
>Your comrades from the other squads join you.
>"What do we do?!"
"Aim for the fuckin' legs! Take out its base!"
>"Open up!" Boss orders.
>About six or seven of you begin firing on the bull's legs while the others remain in the guard towers, tearing into cat-birds and little bulls.
>The stallions fight valiantly alongside you.
>With the group of you and your higher-powered rifles, it's a little easier bringing the sonofabitch down.
>It crashes down with an earth-shattering thud.
>You are about to go up and shoot its face in, but one of the Screamin' Eagles decides to noob toob it.
TUNK
BOOM!
>And that's the end of that.
>Upon seeing this, the rest of the enemies either run like dogs or fly like... somethings.
>You look around.
>Something... rather horrid... catches your eye.
"Uh, Boss..."
>Boss looks over and immediately goes white.
 
Everyone looks down at Flutterguy, his chest having been ripped open by... something.
>And he's still alive.
>He's spitting up blood.
"Awww shit..."
>You feel sick.
>He looks up to you and Boss as the others all gather round, his eyes pleading.
>"One o' the griffons caught 'im, I think..." Eagle lead says with a sigh.
>You look to Boss.
"What do we DO, man?!"
>Boss' hands are shaking as he puts down his rifle and draws his .357.
>"Only one thing we can do."
>He looks down at his comrade, his hand shaking like a leaf.
>You look away and close your eyes.
>As does everyone else.
>You didn't come here to see this.
>"I'll... shit, man..."
>You know what he wanted to say.
>"See you in Equestria, faggot."
>Problem is, you're already here.
BADANG BADANG
>That sound is immediately followed by the thud of Boss falling to his knees, and violently beginning to vomit.
>It takes everything you have to not do the same.
 
 
>You all sit quietly on your beds, staring down at the plush carpet floor.
>This is really fucking depressing.
>You watched a guy die today.
>Like, he ACUTALLY died.
>In a REALLY fucked-up way.
>"Well... I mean he seemed ike a good guy..." Fritz mumbles, breaking the long, awkward silence.
"Yea..."
>You look to his bed.
>The t-shirt's still on it, where he had thrown it off to put on his operator button-down.
>You look over to Boss as he stares blakly at the ceiling.
>He killed a man today.
>You can't imagine how he feels.
>A trio of knocks comes at the door.
>No one moves to get it.
>They could royally fuck off, for all any of you care.
>Another trio of knocks.
>"H-Hello?"
>You all perk up at Twilight's voice, looking at the door.
>"Yea?" Boss replies.
>"May I come in?"
>"Yea... sure."
>The door opens, and she enters.
>She looks as forlorn as all of you.
>"Princess Celestia told me what happened... I'm sorry."
>You nod.
>"It's cool," Boss replies.
>He's not a great liar.
>"Listen... First of all, I'd like to pass along a message of thanks from the stallions down in the Badlands... you guys really helped them out of a jam."
>You all nod.
>"...and second... I'd like to invite the four of you to... come visit Ponyville with me. The others are all really eager to see you again, and... well, considering what happened... maybe you guys need a bit of a break before your next mission."
>You all look at Boss, who's returned to looking at the ceiling.
>It takes him a moment to sit up again.
>He sighs before looking back to Twilight.
>"Yea... why the fuck not."
>Not the most gentlemanly response, but considering he put a guy down today who had his innards scattered about by bird claws, you can't really blame him.
>Twilight smiles softly.
>"Great... I'll give you guys some time to clean up, or whatever you need to do. Just let me know when you're ready."
 
 
>You sit next to Boss on the train ride down from Canterlot.
>He sits silent, looking out the car window.
"You... you didn't know him BEFORE, did you?"
>"Huh?... Nah, nah... I dunno, man..."
"Hey... you had a tough decision to make."
>"It's just... we're supposed to be the elite units, yet within twenty-four hours, one of us is dead."
>He looks to you.
>"What does that say for the rest of us, y'know?"
"Yea, I got you."
>You look down at his lap, noticing he brought Flutterguy's shirt.
>"Gonna give it to her... figured she'd be the best one for it."
"Yea."
>He sulks again, but thinks of something.
>"Y'know, I think when we get back, I'm gonna put in a request with someone for some armor."
>You process it, then nod in agreement.
>"At least something to cover our torsos, y'know?"
"Yea."
>That's actually very thoughtful of you, Boss.
>You feel a soft tap on your shoulder.
>Looking over, you see Twilight leaning in next to you.
>"Rarity's gonna meet us at the station... do you think he'd like that?" she whispers.
>You look back to him for a moment as he resumes staring out the window at the rolling countryside.
>You nod.
"Yea," you whisper back. "Maybe she could, like, take him around for the day?... Get his mind off... well..."
>Twilight nods.
>"She wanted to do that anyway," she says with a giggle. "I think she likes him."
>You hold back a chuckle.
"I see."
 
 
>"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
>Rarity runs at full gate and jumps up into Boss' arms the moment he steps off the train.
>He looks surprised at first, but he embraces her tightly.
>You watch as his hands adjust to hold her even tighter, then he spins her around to many giggles.
>Twilight and you look to each other and smile.
>"Oh darling! I'm so happy to see you again!"
>Boss just nods.
>You can see one of his eyes.
>A tear is rolling down.
>You understand why.
>"And YOU, my dear," she says as she pokes him in the chest, "You and I are spending ALL DAY together! You are in the most DESPERATE need of a makeover."
>Boss laughs.
>"Really?"
>She nods and smiles before hopping out of his arms.
>"Come!"
>"Wait."
>Boss tosses FLutterguy's shirt to you.
>"If you see her, make sure she gets that?"
"Yea I gotcha."
>"Come ONNN!"
>Rarity seems very excited.
>"Alright, okay..."
>Rarity smiles at the rest of you as she and Boss disappear.
>The rest of you chuckle.
>"I haven't seen her THAT excited since Spike gave her that giant heart jewel," Fritz remarks.
>"Saying she was eager would be an understatement," Twilight agrees.
>"As for the rest of you, I'll give you guys the tour!" she says with all the enthusiasm of one of those hyper-pumped rock-climbers.
 
>The lot of you are surprised at how much interest you're generating around town.
>Everywhere you go, you hear ponies whispering with excitement.
>"Is that THEM?"
>"Are those the humans?"
>"They're so big!"
>And other such things.
 
>Dash is away in Cloudsdale doing some shit with some sort of air national guard-type thing, and Spike is with Celestia at the moment, but you go around to visit the others.
 
>You stop by to say hello to Applejack and the family.
>Braeburn, who's in town since Appleoosa was under siege, and Big Mac, manage to rope you into many, many hands of poker.
>You're terrible at poker.
>But whatever, your whole life is on its head, might as well enjoy yourself.
>You also catch AJ sneaking glances in your direction as Granny Smith regales the three of you with tales of what she called 'the old war'. No one seems to know what that is.
 
>At Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie treats you all to cheesecake.
>She also asks you a million questions a minute.
>"Howbigisthebigbull?"
>"Isitbig?"
>"Likebigbig?"
>"LikereallyreallyREALLYbig??"???"
>It would seem she got frustrated because none of you tell her your real names.
 
>As you're leaving, things get goofy.
 
>None other than the Great And Powerful Trixie stands before you outside.
>"So, you are these 'humans' that the Great and Powerful Trixie has heard so much abo--Hey! Put Trixie down this INSTANT! Trixie DEMANDS you!"
>"Nope," Fritz replies as he hugs her like a bunny or a cat.
>"But Trixie--"
>"Nuh-uh."
>You and Maple look at each other and laugh as Twilight snickers.
>"Trixie has no way of winning this argument?" she asks after a moment or two of shifting about in Fritz's arms.
>"Nope."
>She sits there still for another moment, then rests her head against his chest, a pouting look on her face.
>"Very well. Trixie won't waste time arguing with you."
>"That's what I thought."
 
>As Twilight continues walking you around Ponyville, Fritz continues to carry Trixie around in his arms.
>She even talks to him, and the two make pleasant conversation.
>But as you reach the town square, many mares become jealous of Trixie's strange predicament.
>"Hey, I want a hug!"
>"Me too! Why does SHE get to cuddle with the humans?"
>"Because she's fucking great and powerful!" Fritz snipes back. "No cuddles for you!"
>The mares visibly become sad.
>"I'll cuddle ya!" Maple volunteers, picking up one of the ponies as she squeals with excitement.
>Realizing he's picked up Lyra, you look down at the pony in front of you.
>It's fucking Snowdrop.
>It would be a mortal sin not to pick her up and cuddle her.
>So you do.
>And while she can't see you, she's more than happy to snuggle into your chest.
>"Thank you, sir... this is really exciting!"
"No... n-no problem, Snowdrop."
>She gasps.
>"You know my name?"
"You'd be surprised about how much we know about you ponies."
>She giggles.
>"Oh, that's wonderful!"
 
>You suddenly find yourselves begged for cuddles from many different mares in the square.
>You yourself cuddle with BonBon and Colgate.
>Among others, Maple cuddles with the three Crusaders, Lyra and even Cherilee.
>Fritz refuses to cuddle anyone but Trixie, because apparently Trixie is his waifu.
>Eventually, newsponies begin showing up and taking your pictures.
>It turns into a fucking paparazzi fiasco.
>"Where's your leader?"
>"What do you think of the threats to Equestria?"
>"Did the army give you any formal training or did they just throw you into it?"
 
>Off gallivanting with Rarity.
>Frightening-looking, but weak, so far.
>They just threw us into it.
>But of course, you're not actually going to say any of that.
>Even in Equestria, it seems, the tabloids will kill each other for the perfect shot.
>You jokingly take Twilight in one arm and Snowdrop in the other.
>The cameras go particularly wild here.
>It's hard to see with all the lights going off.
>You feel like the fucking Beatles.
 
>It takes you an hour to get out of there.
>You end up holed up in Fluttershy's cottage.
 
>She looks down at her image on Flutterguy's shirt.
>"Umm... I... I don't know what to..."
"We figured... he would approve."
>She looks back up to you.
>"Well... I didn't know him..."
"Neither did we."
>She looks back down at it and manages a smile.
>"I'll hang it up somewhere."
>You and Maple smile.
"Thanks."
 
>Fritz and Trixie are sitting outside, having a conversation unto themselves.
>Trixie's voice perks up as someone approaches.
>"Rarity! Trixie demands that you make a... what is it called again?... an SS uniform!"
>You hear Boss laugh.
>"You indoctrinating 'em already?"
>Fritz laughs.
>"Course I am. We need as many for the cause as we can get, right?"
>"Depends on the cause."
>You, Maple, Twiligth and FLuttershy join them outside.
>Greetings are exchanged before anyone realizes what Boss is wearing.
"Dude, holy shit."
>He looks like he stepped out of Nineteen-Thirty-fucking-Nine.
>Black german-style coat with white piping, white lapels, white buttons.
>He legit looks badass.
>Hugo Boss just took an L to a horse.
>Rarity smiles as she notices the lot admiring her creation.
>"Well, even the most brutal of soldiers deserve to look good."
"Ca-Can we get one of these?" you ask as you notice a delta symbol above one of the chest pockets.
>"I'd appreciate it if you didn't stare at my chest, Nugget."
>Twilight bursts out laughing.
>"Nugget??"
"It's a long story..."
>"Not really," Fritz disagrees with a chuckle.
>You sigh.
"Okay... so there's this gun... it's called a Mosin Nagant... a lot of us call it a Moist Nugget..."
>Twilight interrupts you to laugh again.
"...and since that was the gun I showed up with... Boss called me Nugget."
>Twilight giggles again.
>"I'm sorry... Nugget... that's just... it's a funny name."
"Well it's not my actual name, but..."
>"No, no, I understand."
>She giggles again.
>"It's just funny."
>Great.
>You're the next Flutterguy.
>Being laughed at by Twilight, no less.
 
>The rest of the day sees you at the boutique, getting new jackets hand-made by Boss' waifu.
>You make a solemn agreement between the four of you to wear them only on special occasions, since they really are gala-ready coats.
>You bastards barely get off the train in Canterlot before an armored stallion approaches, salutes and hands Boss an envelope.
>"Christ..."
"Let's head back to the room before we open it, eh?"
>"Yea... good call."
 
>"Jesus, I ask for torso armor and get some CoD shit."
>As the four of you admire the new gear that sits on your beds--gear which makes you faggots look like those Shadow Company guys from MW2-- Boss opens the letter.
>"Well thank God... we're wheels up tomorrow. We get to sleep."
>You all sigh with relief.
>It's the best news you've heard all week.
>"So what's up?" Maple asks.
>"An Equestrian naval ship which was presumed lost a few weeks ago has reappeared off the eastern coast. They can't make any contact and so they're scared it's like some giant bomb. They fuckin' want us to investigate the ship and report findings."
>"We're operators, not NCIS."
>Boss shrugs.
>"I dunno, either... but these orders are from the princess herself, so it's gotta be important somehow."
>"Or maybe the other teams lobbied to put us on some shit duty so they can get some action," Fritz cracks to a few laughs.
>"Maybe. Either way, we're wheels up at 0730 tomorrow, so be ready."
 
 
>This is the first time you've ever really noticed the Barracks City as you've walked through it en route to the Blackhawk which will take you to the coast.
>You note the massive difference in accommodations.
>These are literally barracks, whereas you four are basically in the Ritz.
>You look back forward when you begin to hear marching.
>Coming out of barracks 28, a unit of fifty men who, for all intents and purposes, are dressed like Spartans, file out.
>"Mark tiiiime... march!" their leader demands as they follow him.
>As the groups pass, their leader happens to glance at you four, his eyes locking on Boss in particular for a few moments before he passes.
>Boss looks back at him.
>"Dude, they look legit as fuck," he mutters to you.
>You nod in agreement.
>"I want a fuckin' helmet like that, one with a sideways crest."
"I'd rather have one that goes front-to-back."
>"I mean it's cool either way, but he looks legit with the sideways shit."
"Yea."
 
>You rack the Remington 870 as the Blackhawk rolls back underneath the clouds.
>As you lean towards the sliding door, you can see the ship in question.
>"Shit, that looks like the Olympia," Boss remarks.
>The Great White Fleet cruiser they got in Philly.
"You're actually FROM Philly, aren't you?"
>"You kiddin'? 2nd and Wolfe."
>You nod and look back down at the ship as it draws closer.
>"That's it, huh?" the pilot remarks. "Don't look too scary to me."
>"Nah, me neither... should be in, out and home before fuckin' lunch."
>You nod, encouraged by his confidence.
>But as you look down at the motionless, lifeless ship, you can't help but think something is wrong.
 
>The four of you deploy on the same side of the Blackhawk.
>Standing on the deck of the impressive ship, the feeling that something is off is even stronger.
>"Alright, so what do we do?" Maple asks.
>Boss scans the deck.
>"It's big, but the quarters are tight... Probably best if we split into groups of two."
>Your radioes crackle to life with the voice of the chopper pilot.
>"By the way, fellas, the Princess will be contacting you shortly. She's gonna listen int on this mission. Good luck."
>"Fuck... so we gotta sound professional."
>Boss looks to all of you individually.
>"So we're..."
>He points to himself.
>"...Delta 1."
>He points to Maple.
>"Two."
>Fritz.
>"Three..."
>Finally, you.
>"...And Four. Got it?"
>You all nod.
>"Now... I think it would be best if we--"
>"Hello, Delta Squad? Is anyone receiving me?"
>Celestia's smooth, loving voice gives you an unwanted chub.
>"Uhh, that's a roger, go ahead," Boos casually replies.
>"Delta, this is Princess Celestia. I'd like to give some information about this ship.
>"Go ahead."
>"The ship you've been deployed to is the ENV Reliant, the flagship of my navy. Up until now, it was presumed lost in... well, we don't really know..."
>"When was the last time you had contact with the ship before now?" Boss asks.
>"About three weeks ago."
>"And where was it?"
>"Nowhere near here... she and the fleet she lead were heading west, from Vanhoover."
>Damn.
>That's a long fucking way.
>"Wow... well, thank you Princess, that gives us some context.
>But nothing terribly helpful.
>"Of course, Delta. I will be listening if you require any more information."
>"Thank you."
>He looks up to you three.
>"Alright, Delta Two and Three, scan the perimeter and the upper decks. Delta Four, you're with me. Search for signs of life and survivors, first and foremost. Otherwise, look for any information that could give us insight into what happened here. Roger?"
>He's never sounded more professional.
"Roger," you all reply.
>"Right, move out, Delta."
>The two pairs begin to split.
>Fritz turns back around.
>"Remember boys..."
>You and Boss turn around.
>"...no Russian."
>The four of you laugh softly before turning around and moving out.
 
"We going below?"
>"Yup."
>Great.
>This is gonna end up being like one of those survival horror games where the only line of sight you have is what you see in the flashlight.
>Boss opens a hatch on the opposite side of the gilded deck from where Fritz and Maple are.
>He goes first down the steep, steel steps.
>You go to follow, but lose your footing and go falling down, your ass hitting every step on the way.
>As you sit on the floor, your ass hurting like a motherfucker, Boss stands over you, laughing as he offers a hand.
>"You alright, Nug?"
>You take his hand and he pulls you up.
"Yea, yea."
>Picking up the Remington, you immediately reach down and turn on the tactical flashlight.
>Yea, you're operator as fuck now.
>Boss pulls down the night vision goggles that sit atop his helmet, and turn them on.
>He looks legit with them glowing like that.
>"Alright. You wanna take point or do I?"
>You think about it for a second.
>Oh, why the fuck not?
"I'll take point."
>"Right."
>He pulls back the bolt on his M16.
>"Lead the way."
>You raise the shotgun and begin forward.
>The steel corridor stretches forever, and further still beyond the reach of the light.
>You're trying not to feel like you did the first time you played Slender or Kraven Manor.
>When you hear an echo-y knock from somewhere, you can't help but freeze.
>"It's cool, man, I got your back," Boss remarks.
>You try to shake it off and move forward.
>But your gut is telling you that something is very wrong.
>Squeezing through a tight passageway, you point the gun left and right down each hall before continuing forward.
>You feel the wind rush behind you as Boss does the same.
>"Hello!..." he calls out.
>After all, you're looking for survivors.
>"...is anybody here?"
 
>The question reverberates through the seemingly empty halls.
>The reply comes in the form of another eerie bump.
>This time, you both freeze.
>In the beam of your flashlight, something falls out of one of the doors.
>Boss immediately moves up beside you and draws a bead on it.
>It turns out to be a single stallion, dressed in naval attire.
>"H-Hello? Who's there?"
"Delta Squad. Don't move."
>The two of you approach the disheveled pony.
>"Oh, thank Celestia... I didn't think anybody would come.."
>"Delta's two and three, we've found a survivor down here. Keep looking, over."
>"Copy that, Delta 1, good news. Three out."
>Both of you keep your eyes on the sailor.
"What happened here, sailor?"
>He's visibly shaken.
>"I--I don't really remember... we were... on our way west towards...along the southern coast of the C-Crystal Empire... a-and..."
>He breaks down.
>"...by the sin, they were everywhere!... th-they were everywhere, they came form all sides... the whole fleet!..."
>"We know, sailor, we know."
>"...W-We were able to pick up a few survivors, b-but... there's only... a few of us left..."
>"It's alright now, man... you're home... we need to look for other survivors; do you know where they are?"
>"N-No..."
>"Alright, let's move, Nugget..."
>"No!"
>You look back to the sailor.
>"D-Don't go any further..."
"Dude, we gota look for other survivors, and since you don't know where they might be..."
>"Th--... There aren't any..."
>What?
>But didn't he just say...?
>"Look, man, you've been through a lot, you should get some rest."
>"No! You can't go!"
"Dude, calm dow--"
>The pony's eyes begin to turn green.
"Oh shit!"
>He's a fucking Changeling?!
>You press the barrel of your Remington in his face.
"What's going on here?!" you demand.
>He hisses at you and thrashes about.
>Fuck this.
BANG
>Boss immediately gets back on Comms.
>"Two, Three, this is Delta One. There are changelings aboard the ship, I say again, CHANGELINGS ON THE SHIP. Assume all contacts hostile, over!"
>"Roger that, One--contact! Contact!"
>Fritz gets drowned out by his own automatic gunfire.
>"Christ, Boss, good call! That faggot woulda got us!"
>You move forward with more enthusiasm now.
>Another pops out and flies towards you.
>Before you can get a shot off, Boss deafens you with a burst fire from his M16, bringing it down.
>He turns around and begins moving backwards, literally watching your back.
>You hear another pair of bursts from Boss' gun, and see the flashes in your peripheral.
>As you approach the end of the hall, another door reveals itself.
>Something tells you to go in there.
"Boss, see that door?"
>"Yea, we can hole up in there for a bit."
>He lets go of another burst and another changeling shrieks in death-ness.
>You push the door open and immediately trip on something, falling on your face into some kind of goo.
>As Boss closes the door, you stand up and shine your light.
>You see a mass of pony bodies, looking as if they were deep fried, covered in some sort of slime.
>"Jesus...Christ..."
 
>There's a few hundred bodies.
>Okay, bodies isn't the right word.
>Husks.
>Dead, lifeless husks.
"I think we found the crew..."
>"I think you're right... what is this room, anyway?"
>The two of you look around using whatever's giving you light.
>It looks to be the chow hall.
>Ironic.
>You know these bastards were feeding on these poor souls.
>Your radio crackles to life again.
>"My... my goodness..."
>Oh god.
>The Princess heard all of it.
>"Princess, why didn't you meantion that changelings were involved in this war?"
>"Because, I didn't know, Delta... Oh, I..."
>She begins choking on her words.
>"Those poor, brave ponies... I-I sent them... I sent them straight to their deaths; I..."
>Your heart breaks for her.
"It... It's not your fault, Princess. You didn't know the changelings were involved."
>"But... oh, damn it, I should have! I should have assumed the worst from the beginning... They destroyed a whole battle group, Delta... Goodness knows what the others suffered..."
>You don't even want to think about it.
>And fate doesn't give you time.
>You hear something nearby.
>Three voices, all female, whimpering and weeping gently.
>One of them calls out in a muffled way, indicating to you they were, maybe in a closet?
>"H--H--He--Hello...?"
>Whoa.
>WHAT?!
"You try to keep your cool.
"You hear that?"
>"Yea," Boss replies.
"Hello!"
>Her voice gets louder.
>"H--Hello?"
>"We can hear you!"
>"Hel--Help... h-h-help... us... p-pleeeease..."
>You shake your head in disbelief.
>That's her alright.
>But it couldn't be!
>This is Equestria!
>There's no way, is there?
>Could that really be...
>...Adagio?
>"Heeeeelp... help u-us..."
>"Where's it coming from?"
"I dunno, let's check these doors."
>The two of you head to seperate sides of the room and begin opening doors
>Boss shoots down another changeling that pops out at him, resulting in shrieks from the hidden girls.
"It's alright!" you call out. "We're gonna get you outta here!"
>You come across a locked door.
>Leaning your ear towards it, you call out one more time.
"You in here?"
>"Y-yes!"
"Boss, over here!"
>Boss comes over and readies himself for whatever you might encounter.
>You lift the Remington.
"Get away from the door!"
>After a moment, you shoot off the lock and open the door.
 
 
>Well, at least they're ponies.
>Or, seahorses, you guess.
>Close enough.
>The three of them are huddled against the far wall of what you can only assume was a mop closet or something.
>They look like shit.
>They must have been fed little, if at all.
>Perhaps just enough to keep them alive.
>You look to Boss.
>It seems only now does he know who he's looking at.
>"What the fuck..."
"You didn't recongize her voice?"
>"I've never seen the movies; I don't know what they sound like."
>He gets back on Comms.
>"Fritz, Maple, you got a lock on our 20?"
>"Yea," Maple replies.
>"Get your asses down here... we got a situation.
>"Roger that."
>Boss looks back to you.
>"This is just gettin' weirder and weirder."
>You nod.
"So what do we do with 'em?"
>Boss looks down at the trio, who are collectively shaking like dead leaves in a winter wind.
>"Talk to them... see if they can tell you anything. I'll secure the room."
"Alright."
>You lean the Remington up against the wall, which goes a long way in lighting the closet so you can get a better look at the three mares in front of you.
"Look... we're gonna get you out of here, okay?" you say as soothingly as you can.
>The three of them nod at once.
"I just... I need to know... what happened?"
>"I... we... we were hungry..." Adagio begins.
>"We... lured them in, the way we always do..." Aria says next.
>"...but... they weren't normal ponies..." Sonata finishes.
>You can deduce the rest.
>They came in looking like normal sailors, but as the three sirens approached the boat, they were quickly snatched up by the changelings.
>For what purpose, you don't know.
>The door into the chow hall opens.
>A pair of flashlights come bounding in.
>"Holy shit!" Fritz exclaims as he runs his light over the bodies. "Gross..."
>"That's not the weirdest part, either..." Boss says as he nods his head towards you.
>The two of them come over and look at the sight.
>Fritz is immediately disgusted.
>"Dude, what the fuuuck?!"
>"What?" Maple asks.
>"Fucking Dazzlings... we get enough of this shit on /mlp/."
>"What's wrong with 'em?"
>"THEY SUCK."
>"Oh, hurr durr, muh horse pussy..."
"Guys, we can have this argument later, we need to get them out of here."
>"No we don't."
>Fritz cocks the bolt on his MP5.
>"Kill 'em. Kill the shitpost queens."
>The three of them cry and huddle up.
>"The fuck is wrong with you?" Boss exclaims. "Nugg is right, we can have this argument later. For now, let's get outta here, huh?"
>You all nod as he gets on Comms again.
>"Free Bird, this is Delta One, requesting evac. Three hostages secured... you're not gonna believe this one, anon."
>"What's that, Delta?"
>"It's the fuckin' Dazzlings."
>The pilot laughs.
>"Seriously?"
>"No!" the co-pilot protests. "We're not letting shit-tier waifus on this chopper!"
>"Uh, you're not the pilot, and you don't have a say in the matter... We're inbound now, Delta. Free Bird out."
>Boss looks back to the rest of you.
>"Looks like we're not the only ones."
>"I still can't FUCKIN' believe we're actaully gonna save these..."
>"Hey, y'know what? Sonata's my waifu, Fritz, so why dont'cha shut the fuck up, eh?"
>Oh God.
>The Canuck actually said "eh".
>The three of you fall into walls laughing.
>"Eh!" Fritz repeats.
>"Eh!" Boss repeats.
>It takes everything in your power not to do the same.
>After a moment, Maple laughs too.
>The Dazzlings all seem very confused.
>"It's all good," you assure them as you laugh. "It's all good."
>Fritz pats Maple on the shoulder.
>"Alright... alright, you win for now..."
>You all calm down.
>"...but when we get back home, we're gonna have a long talk about god-tier waifus and shit-tier waifus."
>"Yea, yea, yea..."
 
 
>"What the fuck do you mean, EQG is shit? What evidence do you have to prove that?" Maple asks.
>"I don't NEED evidence!" Fritz fires back. "It's a WELL-KNOWN fact that EQG is the WORST movie adaptation of a cartoon since DRAGONBALL."
>Oh God.
>"I gotta say though, Sunset and Adagio have nice hips," Boss chimes in.
>"No they don't. They're shit. All the Dazzlings are shit and Sonata's the biggest shit of them all. Hurrr durrr Taco Tuesday!"
>You can't help but laugh.
>"Nugget, I'm right, aren't I?"
"I-I'm not even gonna get involved."
>"Good call," Boss chuckles.
>"So what," Maple says, "It's shit because..."
>"BECAUSE IT IS."
>"I'm getting hints of 'stop liking what I don't like' here, Fritz," Boss remarks.
>"Fritz I had no idea you were so autistic," Maple agrees.
>Fritz takes a very, very deep breath.
>"I just... don't... like it. Like at all."
>"That doesn't mean they aren't hot," Boss argues.
>"Yea... let's just agree to disagree."
"Finally."
>They've been having this debate all day, since the moment you got off the heli this morning and the Dazzling ponies were out of earshot.
"Maybe now I can get a nap in."
>"Don't count on it," Boss mumbles as he opens the fridge in the corner.
>"Damn, they got beer."
>"Beer?" Fritz immediately asks. "Get me one?"
>"I got you."
>Boss pulls out two beers.
"What's it called?"
>"...Horsteiner?"
>He laughs.
>"Well I like Warsteiner, so hopefully this isn't too bad."
>He tosses one to Fritz.
>The two of them open the beers together, then they clink them and take a drink.
>A smile rolls acros your face as you watch their faces change.
>You and Maple laugh as Fritz throws the beer across the room, the bottle shattering on the opposite wall.
"How is it?"
>"It's LITERALLY piss," Boss replies, putting his beer down on top of his locker. "You'd actually think they were pissing in the bottles."
"Maybe they did."
>"Maybe beer here is fermented horse piss," Maple suggests with a chuckle.
>"God damnit, that's entirely possible, isn't it?"
>Boss looks to Fritz.
>"You good?"
>"I'm... disappointed, Boss."
"Maybe it's just shitty beer... I bet if we found a bar we could get some good booze."
>All three of them look to you.
>"...Bar crawl?" Boss asks.
>"Yea," Maple replies simply.
>"Bar crawl," Fritz agrees.
>You nod.
"Bar crawl."
 
>You have no idea what time it is, but you'd estimate it's maybe two or three in the afternoon.
>Day drinking, fuck yea.
>You can't avoid the curious onlookers as the four of you walk through Canterlot.
>Apparently, not a lot of humans have left their barracks or rooms between missions.
>Typical 4channers, fuckin' shut-ins.
>You come across a small pub-The Bannered Mare-- and sit up on the stools at the bar.
>The stallion behind the bar is an older one, a unicorn, with a warm smile that greets you as he turns around.
>"Well now, what can I get for you gentlecolt--I mean, gentle-MEN?" he asks with a chuckle.
>You all look to Boss.
>"Uhhh... got any beer that's better than Horsteiner?"
>The barkeep laughs.
>"Well, that shouldn't be hard to do! Four?"
>You all nod.
>"Well, alright then."
>He looks down and carefully examines his stock.
>"You're the first humans I've seen in here. Little strange, considering how many the Princess says are here."
"How many?"
>He seems to find something he likes, and uses his horn magic to lift four of whatever it is from the bar cooler.
>"Thousands, she says. With hundreds more arriving every day."
>He opes all four floating bottles, and pours them into four floating glasses.
>"How did they find room for us all?" Maple asks.
>"I don't know," he chuckles.
>He floats the four glasses down onto the bar.
>"Try this. Ponig Ludwig, imported from Germaneigh."
>You all take a glass and, without a word, take a heedful drink.
>Not bad.
>Rich, smooth... best of all, actually tastes like beer.
>"There we go," Fritz says with a nod.
>The barkeep smiles again.
>"Well, I'm glad you enjoy it. But then again, when you're starting point is Horsteiner, the only way to go is up!"
>You all laugh as the front door opens again.
>"Steedie, this one's on me."
>"You got it, Cap!"
>You all look back to see Shining Armor approach the bar.
>"The great Shining Armor himself!" Fritz exclaims.
>"And finally I've found some humans to drink with!"
>You all chuckle.
>"Seriously... none of you guys EVER leave your barracks outside of training or going off to fight."
"Yea... most of us are sort-of antisocial."
>And a little autistic.
>"Just a bit!"
>He sits up next to Boss.
>"Whatever they're havin'."
>"Right."
>He pulls out another Ponig, pours it and places it on front of Shining, who immediately takes a drink.
>"So, you boys have been making quite a bit of noise around here."
>"Is that good or bad?" Boss asks.
>You take another drink as they speak.
>"Good, believe me. If there's one thing the regular ponies need, it's a morale boost."
>You all nod as you take another drink.
"Has it been that bad?"
>Shining looks down the bar at you.
>"We're surrounded on all sides, and there are some towns that have been under attack for months on end. Only yesterday was Appeloosa finally rescued... by HUMAN units... after two months of siege."
>You shake your head.
>Things are worse than you knew.
>Twilight and the Mane 6 are good at hiding it.
>You and Shining take another drink at the same time.
>"How's the fighting along the border?" Boss asks.
>"Which one?"
>"Uhh... the one our air support blew a hole the size of a train tunnel in."
>"Ahh, the northern border..."
>He sighs.
>"It's only getting worse... and they're stepping up their offensive in the south too. You know that base you guys helped defend a few days ago?"
"Yea," you all reply.
>"Well, things are getting so bad down south that we're going to be revitalizing it completely... I don't think you'll believe this, but ten thousand soldiers used to live there."
>...now it's a ghost town.
>No.
>Stop it, Anon.
"Wow. So what are ya gonna do with it?"
>He points a hoof to the four of you.
>"Human base... And keep this between you and me, but you're probably one of the first units going."
>Shiiiit.
>Well, it's good you got the heads-up instead of it getting thrust on you like all these missions they've had you do 'til now.
>You all look to Boss.
>He turns and looks blankly at the wall.
>"Fuck me..."
>"No thanks, I'm married."
>You all laugh, and you decide that Shining is a bro.
"Any word on who else?"
>"I have no idea yet... there's too many of you."
>"So wait... YOU'RE making the decision?" Fritz asks.
>"That's what happens when you're captain of the guard."
>He sighs again.
>Steedie does an exagerated reproduction for a few chuckles.
>"Cap, ya really gotta relax. Ya could be out there with these guys getting your head blown off!"
>"I'd prefer that rush, Steedie, you know that. How many times have I said it?"
>"Yea, yea, I know."
"You ever seen combat, Shining?"
>He looks back down the bar at you.
>"Yea... not long before I was married. It was brutal... lost a lot of good stallions. Good guards."
>He pauses.
>"It's strange... it was the most frightening time of my life... but the feeling was incredible. Y-You get this rush of energy, y'know?"
>You all nod.
>A week ago, you couldn't have sympathized.
>Now, though...
>"We gotcha," Boss replies before knocking back the rest of his beer. "You miss the adrenaline high."
>"Yea, that's it."
>You finish your beer, and Steedie puts another in front of you.
>Well damn.
>A smirk rolls across Boss' face.
>Even from three seats down, you can see the wheels turning in his head.
>"How long are you off-duty, Shining?"
>"'Til tomorrow, w--"
>A goofy grin appears on his face as he looks at Boss.
>"We makin' a day outta this?"
>"Oh yea."
>Shining laughs, leans his head back, kills his beer and slams i=the empty glass down.
>"'Nother round, Steedie!"
 
 
>Ten beers later... or is it eleven?
>You have no fucking idea.
>But y'know what?
>FUCK IT.
>You're in a good place.
>A GREAT fuckin' place.
>You find yourselvs stumbling about like fuckin' assholes through the pleb part of Barracks City.
>In the middle of the afternoon.
>FUCK!
>You've never fuckin' done this before.
>The five of you stumble about, heading down the main drag, when som faggot antagonizes you.
>Something about drinking on the job... or drinking like a slob...or just drinking...
>Edgy straight-edge sperglord.
>Boss immediately steps up.
>"Go back inna yer barracks an' eat yer fuckin' cheetos ya god-damn katana plonkin' spastic!"
>You all fall the fuck over laughing.
>You can definitely hear the Philly accent now.
>"Fight? FIGHT?! What, ya wanna go? Let's go!"
>Oh shit!
>You sit up to watch as a crowd gather around.
>Shining uses his magic to pull you back to your feet, and the lot of you push your way through the crowd.
>Just in time to see some other faggots pulling Boss away from this faggot, who's on the ground.
"Get yer hands off my sarge!"
>Ya take a mad swing at the faggot holding Boss.
>You dunno how you connected. But ya did.
>And that's when it turns into a massive fucking brawl.
>Ya lose yourself in a haze of swinging wildly and getting hit by things ya can't see.
>A hand grabs ya.
>Ya get puled through the crowd and emerge, finding it's Boss who puled you out.
>He's laughing hysterically.
>Thus, so are you.
>And so Fuckz and Mipple.
>"Let's get outta here!" Shining shouts, and the five of you run, laughing at the brawl that's still goin' on behind you.
 
 
>You wake up with the most splitting headache of your life.
>Your vision is spinning and... good GOD, your head hurts.
>You roll it to the left.
>Boss is leaned up against his bed, head hung low.
>Maple has his head in a trash can.
>Fritz is out cold.
>It's dark outside.
"Anybody alive?"
>"I got ya," Boss mumbles.
"Maple... you good?"
>He's hacking loudly.
>"The fuck does it look like?"
"Whatever."
>No point in asking Fritz.
>"Nug... get your shit together... we're wheels up for the badlands in a few hours."
"You kiddin' me...?"
>Shining was right.
>"I really wish I was."
>This is not what you wanted to hear.
>Especially with a hangover like this.
"Whu'time is it?"
>Boss look at his watch.
>"Uh, two ten."
>In the morning?
>Christ.
>You nod.
"What happened to Shining?... Fuck, what happened after the...?"
>"Uhh..."
>Boss is distracted by Maple's vomiting for a moment.
>"...we came back here... drank all the shit in the fridge, he dipped and we all passed out."
>You drank more?
>Is that humanly possible?
>"Oh, and Fritz confessed that he's in love with--"
>"Shut the FUCK up."
>Damn, you thought he was out.
>You roll out of bed with all the enthusiasm of a boulder.
>Opening your locker, you throw each piece of thing you have, one-by-one, on the bed.
>You grab whatever bags and shit you have there and begin throwing shit in them.
>You've got an FAL and an AK sticking out of a backpack.
>And you really don't care, either.
>You'll get your shit together later.
>The Nugget gets slung over your back.
>The trench knife in your pants.
>A knock comes to the door.
>"Maple, stop throwin' up."
>"Fuck you, Boss."
>Boss un-slumps himself in some strange way and answers the door.
>"The hell do--Oh... Princess."
>You all shoot out of your beds.
>"Is... is everything okay?"
>"Of course, Boss... the chopper team is waiting for you. I'd like to walk you out, if you don't mind."
>"Uhh, yea, sure."
 
>"We have selected you and two other units to be the first on base because you are the most capable unit we have... despite your seeming ability to cause a war within your own ranks..."
>Shit.
>She knows.
>This just got really awkward.
>Look up at the stars and keep walking, Anon.
>"BUt Shining Armor has assured me that you were not the aggressor, so I don't hold you responsible for today's events."
>"Thank you," Boss replies.
>"Anyway, the southern border is brimming with activity. Minotaurs, Griffons, Diamond dogs, and now Changelings are moving around and... doing other such things. We need our best defenders on that side of the country, and... as I'm sure you've noticed, my guardsmen and army simply aren't able to hold the line."
>"I gotcha."
>The distant buzzing of the heli rotors are already tearing your head apart.
>This is gonna be a long flight.
 
>And you're right.
>You keep your ears plugged.
>It hurts your very being, the chopper noise.
>Looking around to your squadmates, you come to realize they all feel the same way.
>At least the sun isn't out to try to kill you.
>Yet.
>"Hey... wonder who else is coming?... think it's either of those units we met last time?" Maple asks.
>He seemed to have made a lot of an effort to even speak, so you humor him.
"Maybe... or maybe we'll meet one of the other 'Delta' units..."
>You lean your head back against the wall.
>"Only one Delta worth knowing about," Boss mumbles.
 
>You look to him and manage a smirk.
"Fuck yea... Delta Squad, motherfucker."
>"Delta Squad, motherfucker," Maple repeats.
>"Delta Squad, motherfucker," Fritz agrees.
>That's right.
 
 
>Unlike the first time you were here, you now take the opportunity to actually look around the base.
>Its many buildings are run-down, but the place is bustling in a way that it wasn't previously.
>There are ponies everywhere, painting, refurbishing and repairing buildings, both inside and out.
>It's hard to make out the full scale of the operation, given the sun hasn't risen yet.
>Strange, considering it's like 7am.
>Not that you're complaining; the sun is your enemy with this hangover.
>"Any other bipeds?" Boss asks.
"No idea."
>You look back down at your watch.
>7:41
>Where the fuck is the sun?
>"Excuse me, Delta Squad?"
>You all look down to an armored stallion.
>"Follow me to your new barracks."
 
>And of course, as you all reach your new beds, the hangover takes hold again, and you all pass the fuck out.
>Together.
>As a unit.
 
>Delta Squad, motherfuckers.
 
 
>You don't know how long you were out for, but it's still dark out.
>"Ah, and baby makes four," Boss jests before going to comms.
>You can't here who he's talking to, but his words give you enough of an idea.
>"Hiiii Princess," he says like he's saying hello to someone in an AA meeting.
>"...Yea, we're all awake now... hold on, lemme check... we all good?"
>You nod, as do the other two.
>"Yea, we're all okay... thaaank yoouuuu, you're the best... Roger."
>You look out the window and see the sun quickly begin to rise.
>"What time is it anyway?" Maple asks as he watches with you.
>"Dude, it's like 3pm," Boss chuckles. "I still can't believe she agreed to this."
"Agreed to what?"
>She kept the sun down until we recovered."
"She what?"
>You look up to Boss as the first rays from the sun light his face.
"How on God's green earth did you manage--"
>"I don't fuckin' know, man."
>You look back out as the sun shoots up into the sky, above the base, then over to where it would sit at around 3 o’clock.
“Something tells me she wouldn’t do that for just anybody, Boss… maybe she’s takin’ a shine to you.”
>”Better not be… I’m spoken for.”
>You look back to him, confused.
>”Rarity?”
“Riiight… so you two are a thing?”
>”Might as well be.”
>The barracks door opens.
>”Well! Delta Squad!”
>/mlk/ enters one-by-one.
>You stand up and the formalities ensue as you shake hands with Dallas, Niner and their comrades.
>”Good to see some familiar faces down here,” Niner says with a nod. “I guess we know this best better than any other anons, so it makes sense.”
>”Maybe that’s it.”
>You nod in agreement.
>”They’re building pretty fast out there,” Dallas remarks as he picks a bed and begins putting down hit shit with the rest of them.
>”I’m sure a lot of it’s magic though,” Maple says.
>”Probably, but… doesn’t mean it ain’t impressive.”
>”True enough.”
“So what’s the deal here? Are we just gonna dick around until everyone else shows up?”
>”Dick around… and pull night watch,” Niner replies as he throws the last gun into his locker. “Good job on sleepin’ so late; you get first watch, Delta.”
>Fucking great.
>There’s a catch for everything, isn’t there?
>”How’s four guys supposed to guard a perimeter this size?" Fritz asks.
>"Easy enough," Boss replies after a moment of thinking.
>"Nugg, you still got your Mosin?"
"Yea."
>"Alright. Maple, Nugget, pick a roof; you're our long guns."
>The two of you nod.
>Fritz... take that guard tower right out there, and I'll find another one."
>"Roger."
"Gotta say, Boss... you're getting good at this 'sergeant' thing."
>"Well, to paraphrase what you once said, experience is the best training."
>You remember what he's talking about, recalling standing over the dead body of a bull whose throat you'd just slit from ear to ear.
>That feels like an eternity ago now.
>And it wasn't even a week.
 
>The night is clear, the moon bright.
>There is a pleasant breeze easing its way past you as you stand on the roof of the southernmost building on base, looking through your night vision goggles.
>You listen to the hustle and bustle of rebuilding behind you; ponies conversing, hammers and nails colliding in that signature way, and other such things.
>"All points, report," Boss requests.
>"Delta Two; no signs of movement."
>"Delta Three here; no activity."
"Delta Four reporting; we're dead down here, Boss."
>"Delta One copies all."
 
>Another hour or so goes by.
>You hear Boss being to sing in a very low tone.
>"Hey there little red ridin' hood... you sure are lookin' good..."
>"Boss, what the fuck?" Fritz asks.
>"Just tryna keep myself awake, is all."
>"Right, I got ya."
>There is not contact for about fifteen seconds after that.
>"Ya gonna keep goin'?"
>"I dunno much more."
>You chuckle.
"If you're gonna start singing a song, at least make it one you can do all the way through."
>"Shut up, Nugget."
>Fritz and Maple laugh.
>"Know your role, Nugget," Maple says.
 
>Besides that, it's boring as shit.
>The occasional radio check.
>Besides that, the only thing keeping you awake is the sounds of reconstruction--and new construction--going on around you.
 
 
>The sun comes as the ultimate salvation.
>As the first beams of light touch your face, you swear you can feel Celestia kissing your cheek.
>You wonder if the other faggots feel it, too.
>Or maybe they're too tired to notice.
>"/mlk/, this is Delta 1. We're done up here. You faggots better be awa-- Damn, they got a lot done last night."
>You look behind you.
"Dude holy shit."
 
>The buildings are pristine-looking.
>As if there was never a war, and all they had time to do was clean shit.
>There are Hangars now, too.
>Fucking hangars.
>And what's with the train tracks? And that turn table?
>Christ, talk about revitalizing.
>"Right?" Niner replies over comms. "I'm just looking out the window; Jesus Christ they move fast."
>"Because magic," Fritz remarks.
>Yea.
>That's gotta be it.
>You're about to say something else when you being to hear a familiar sound.
>The sound of prop engines.
>You look up to the sky for the source, but don't see anything.
>Until it roars right over your fucking head.
>By its shape, it's a P-36G.
>It's gotta be Nuke Anon.
>Behind him, a pair of F-18's rip by.
>"Finally, some company!" Dallas laughs.
 
>The eight of you group together and head over towards the airfield to meet your new base-mates.
>And even more aircraft are pouring in as you do.
>"Aww, shit!" the man you assume to be Nuke anon says as he sees you. "I thought we'd be the first ones here! They told us we'd be first here!"
>"You must be nuke anon," Boss says with an extended hand. "We're Delta Squad."
>"Oh, yea! I remember you guys."
>You all begin shaking hands.
>"How long did you guys beat us by?"
"'Bout 24 hours."
>"Damn... whatever. Where's our bunks?"
>"No idea," Boss replies. "Pick a bed and fall in it, I guess."
>"Well, we're not quite ready to fall in yet... I just got up."
"So... did you bring any gear, or...?"
>"Oh, they're bringin' it down on the trucks."
>"Trucks?"
>Boss looks into the distance.
>"What trucks?"
>"Oh they're comin'," Nuke anon laughs. "Believe me. They should be down here tomorrow."
 
>And holy shit, do they come.
 
>The trucks, gathered in their masses, kick up an impressive amount of dust as they thunder in from the north.
>Trucks of all kinds, from the big ones that pull howitzers, to some faggot's jacked-up Ford Ranger, and of course, multitudes of Humvees and Land Rovers and the like.
>Someone even brought down Boss' Dodge Durango, which he had no idea was even here.
>You can't help but stare in awe of the sheer numbers of anons, gear, and weapons they bring with them.
>Cue the montage of you and your squad mates helping these faggots set shit up.
>Artillery positions, gun nests, radio towers, and spotlights.
>You help build pillboxes, direct traffic for tanks and APC's--again, from all possible nations and eras--show operators to barracks you think they should be in, and somehow manage to wolf down an MRE with Boss in the middle of it all.
>With Celestia's ball of sex beating down on you from above, and sweat pouring out from every possible spot, you continue the process.
>It's like college move-in day, except there's a lot more faggots, a lot more contraband, and a much bigger chance of something blowing up.
>Slowly, the faggots begin to handle things themselves.
>Airfieldfags begin directing planes in.
>Tankfags get to work inspecting shit.
>Truckfags start opening hoods and cleaning out intakes; the badland dust can be brutal on and engine.
>You can't help but admire it all.
>Not two days ago, this was the most depressing excuse for a military base any of the four of you had ever laid eyes on.
>Now it's like the Dazzling thread on /mlp/; insanely active.
>And as the sun hangs low in the afternoon this day, you almost forget that this is where Flutterguy died.
>Almost.
>You'll never get that image out of your head, and you know it.
>The four of you decide to take a break.
>Some other anon was kind enough to give you some beer... human beer.
>Yuengling, to be specific.
>And it's ice-cold.
>It feels too good to be true for you, who have stripped off all your gear down to the t-shirt you've been wearing underneath everything since you've gotten here.
>You decide that when you get home, you're gonna have this shirt framed.
>It's seen some shit.
 
>So you all sit on the stoop of your own barracks, sipping quietly at your beers and watching the hustle and bustle.
>Someone in your barracks has music playing, and you can't help but listen.
>It's "Feel Good Inc."
>Boss suddenly looks up.
>"Well, I'll be damned...."
>You all look in the same direction.
>Shining Armor struts toward you, a shit-eating grin on his face.
>You all stand up.
>"Are we that desperate for cannon fodder that they're clearing out the sick, the lame, the crazy?"
>You all laugh, and each of you greets the Captain one-by-one.
>"How the fuck did you find us?" Boss asks.
>"I have no idea... but thank Celestia you guys haven't been run over by any of these things. I wouldn't be able to run this place without guys who know what they're doing."
"Whaddaya mean?"
>"What happened to your Royal Guard gig back in Canterlot?" Boss asks.
>"Yea, rockin' the fuckin sidepipe with those noguns hotties," Fritz snipes, with a wink.
>"Forget that. I haven't seen anything interesting since the wedding; I had to get some, but I never would have jumped ship if it meant rollin' in with THESE guys."
>"Who?" Maple asks.
>"These APLHA guys."
>Alpha?
"Who the fuck is Alpha?"
>"They're just..."
>He groans.
>"They're crazy. They think they're some kinda gods just because they were lucky enough to pull some escort duty for the Princess when she toured the northern border. And now they're down here with us. You can't miss em... what do you call them... 'autistic'?"
>Oh great.
>Shining smirks.
>"Oh and by the way, they're living with you."
>"FUCK."
>"What did you expect, Boss?" Fritz asks. "/mlp/'s full of autists. Fuck, I'm autistic about some shit, you saw."
>Boss sighs.
>"Yea, I guess."
>As he finishes the sentence, a Humvee without doors or a roof roars up in front of the barracks.
>Four of the most stereotypical horsefuckers you've ever seen climb out.
>You swear, they called each other before they came to Equestria.
>Neckbeards, Nuggets and acne all around.
>Besides that, they don't seem to have any gear.
>You all look to Boss for any signs of how to address the faggots.
>"Is this barracks 12?" their apparent leader sneers.
>Boss slowly looks to the number above the door--12--then back down to them.
>He shrugs.
>"I guess so."
>He steps aside and you all watch as they saunter in.
>You immediately hear jeers and shouting from inside, which makes you chuckle.
>Niner pokes his head out the door.
>"You CANNOT be serious."
>"Not my call, man."
>He looks to Shining.
>"Fuck you, man."
>Shining laughs as Niner disappears.
>"So, one last thing before I go off and do more desk stuff... since you're my guys here, I wanted to give you the honor of renaming this base... any ideas?"
>"Sunbutt's--"
>"Shut up, Fritz!"
>You all laugh at the reaction.
>Boss thinks of something.
>"Fort Chan."
>Creative.
>You nod.
"I like it."
>"Right... welcome to Fort Chan, soldiers."
>Shining nods towards the barracks, and the four of you follow him in.
>As he enters, he gets an ovation and some whistling and cheers.
>"Thank you, thank you... My good humans, welcome to the new Human military base, the newly-named Fort Chan."
>Everybody laughs.
>Everybody except the faggots of Alpha, who sit there and roll their eyes.
>"Now, I guess you know who I am; I'm gonna be here as the liaison to the Princesses, in other words, I'm here to make sure you guys don't kill absolutely everybody."
>This gets a few laughs.
>"So... there needs to be SOME semblance of order here, so when it comes to matter pertaining to life in this barracks, you will be answering the the 'anons' behind me... I think some of you MIGHT know them... the one-and-only Delta Squad."
>The four of you get a few whistle and cheers.
>One guy in Marine gear shouts "Get some!"
>You raise your beer.
"Get some, horsefuckers."
>"What makes them more qualified than anyone else?" Alpha lead asks cynically.
>He earns a few glares.
>You hate them already.
>"Well let's see," the same Marine anon says, "First anons to make contact with the enemy, first anons to kill the enemy, first to down a King Bull, first to meet the Mane Six, proceeded to evac the Mane Six..."
>"One of them may have BONED one of the Mane Six..." Fritz jokes as he looks at Boss.
>"Shut the fuck up," Boss replies to a round of laughs.
>Dallas picks up where the marine anon left off.
>"First and ONLY anons to make contact with changelings..."
>Damn, word gets out fast.
>"... first to meet the Dazzlings, rescued the Dazzling... am I missing anything, guys?"
>Alpha lead glares at the lot of you.
>"...first human killed in action," Shining Armor adds hesitantly.
>Everyone looks to him.
"Really?"
>He nods.
>"Only a few hours before the battle at Appeloosa, which saw around forty anons make the same sacrifice..."
>Damn.
>That totally killed the mood in here.
>Until you hear someone pouring a drink.
>A Russian anon raises a shotglass.
>"To the fallen /k/omrades."
>The four of you raise your beers, as do some other anons who happen to have drinks.
>"Yea, sure, uh... a toast to the fallen... come back with your shield or on it... and, uhh... if you're gonna die, make it glorious. Cheers."
>"Cheers," many anons reply.
>You take a drink, thinking of Flutterguy.
>And damn, could he lob a molotov.
>"Right! sorry to kill the vibe. So... Boss, any rules you'd like to lay down before I go?"
>"Uhhhhh... I mean, guys.... don't be dicks. I mean, not in here, I don't give a fuck what you do anywhere else, but don't be a dick in here. Keep that in mind and we'll be good."
>He glances at Alpha lead.
>You wonder if the rest of them are as much assholes as him.
>"Right, well I gotta go give the same stuff to all the other guys down here, so I'll see you guys around. On behalf of the Princess, thank you for doing this!"
>Shining gets another round of cheers as he leaves.
>"Alright!" Boss says. "As you were!"
>He leaves the barracks.
 
>You find him about an hour later, sitting near the turntable at the bottom of the base, smoking a cigar.
"What's up?"
>"Not much."
>He takes a puff.
"What're you doing down here?"
>Boss shrugs, watching a pretty flitter of smoke rise and dissipate in the air.
>"I like trains, and back home, me and my boys would go up to Valley Forge and smoke cigars near the railroad tracks... so I guess this is for them?"
"Could be doing worse things."
>You sit down with him.
>"You smoke?"
"Nah."
>He takes another long puff, being careful to aim it away from you.
"Any idea what these tracks are for?"
>"No clue... I overheard a pony say they're gonna put down two more turntables tonight."
>You look over at the one already here, which actually has two sets of tracks on it.
"Maybe someone pic related a rail gun?"
>"Ooooh, that'd be sweet."
>He takes a few more puffs, and the two of you watch as Nuke anon's F-4 roars overhead, its body glistening in the setting sun.
>Two F-18s rip by after him.
>"Like some Gustav shit?"
"Yea, yea."
>"I wouldn't be surprised."
>As he takes a few more puffs, you think of something else to say.
"So... you miss home yet?"
>"Eh... maybe a little. Family and friends. I mean, it's only been a week, but... y'know."
"What do you think they're doing?"
>"What all these fuckers' families are doing..."
>He chuckles.
>"Frantically searching and wondering where the fuck I disappeared to. I feel bad for Maple; he's probably gonna get a nice little court-martial when hes gets back."
>If.
>No...
>Don't think like that, Anon.
>"What about you?"
"Not really."
>Not much to miss.
>Boss nods.
>"Would you stay here if ya could?"
>That's a tough question.
"I dunno... like... maybe?"
>Boss nods as he takes another puff.
"You?"
>He takes no time to answer.
>"If Rarity would have me..."
>"He looks to you.
>"I'd stay forever."
"You really like her, huh?"
>"Ahh, she's such a sweetie... I dunno, she just... I like a classy gal, y'know?"
"Not many of those around 2nd and Wolfe?"
>Boss laughs.
>"Not a whole lot. Accents turn me on, but ya gotta be a nice girl, too... Rarity's... shit, she's the kinda girl I want. In every way."
>He nods slowly as he takes another puff or two.
>You can tell he's drifting off mentally, thinking about her.
>"Every fuckin' way."
 
 
>You wake up the next morning to a commotion.
>Or maybe it was the asshole a few bunks down who was blasting some rap; you don't really know.
>Boss busts in through the front door.
>"Delta, we got orders!"
>You shoot up.
>Finally.
>You hear a few oooh's and oh's from around the half-empty barracks.
>"Load up, move to the heli field; we'll be briefed en route."
>Fuck yea.
>Short and to the point.
>You hop out of bed, open your locker, pick out your AK, armor and other things and get ready.
>"Alright, here's the deal," Boss begins, "we're gonna be playing a little smash-n-grab. Gleaning intel from the Reliant, and getting what they could from the Dazzlings, our friends seem to think the enemy is constructing some kind of super-weapon, something they needed the Dazzlings to amplify or... I dunno, some shit like that."
"So what are we doing?"
>"We'll be infiltrating a facility in Ungula, which, if ya don't know, is the country south of the Badlands that no one knows about."
>They never mentioned it in the show, from your knowledge.
>"The facility is in, uhh... where are we goin' again?"
>"About ten clicks north of Oxford," the pilot replies.
>"There ya go. Facility's not to big. We split into pairs and look for intel regarding this super weapon. Go in, kill everybody, grab some papers and bounce."
>Sounds simple enough.
>But is it ever that simple?
 
>It seems it might be as you land right outside the facility.
>Fuckin' bulls immediately take an interest.
>"Go, go!" Boss shouts as you all jump out.
>You put a few rounds through a bull and Maple blows into another.
>Shouting erupts from within.
>More bulls come out and attack, only to be cut down.
>"Split up, search everything! I don't care what it is, just find something!"
>You and Maple split away from Boss and Fritz as they charge into a building, guns blazing.
>Maple kicks in the door of another and you follow him in.
>A bull throws you against a wall.
"Ach!"
>You hit your head hard.
>You might be seeing stars.
>You reach down for your trench knife and shove it up into the fucker's gullet.
>You watch as he gurgles and falls over, blood spewing onto you.
>It stinks
>Oh well.
>As you arise, you hear Maple letting go of a few shotgun shells.
>"Clear!"
>The two of you begin turning the whole place upside down, keeping an eye out for anything involving a weapon.
>Blueprints, written reports, anything.
>Unfortunately, this isn't the building where you would find it.
>Just a report involving a dick pic.
"Boss, we got nothin' in here."
>"Oh well, keep looking!"
>As the two of you exit the little building, you find yourself needing to put a few rounds of seven-six-two into another bull.
"Whoo!"
>"Like a turkey shoot!" Maple agrees.
>"Take THAT one!" Boss shouts as he exits the building he was in, pointing to a slightly larger building near you.
"Roger!"
>You and Maple make your way to the next building.
>As you kick in the door, you're accosted by a catbird.
>It squawks at you as it tackles you to the ground.
>Shit, you don't have your knife!
BANG
>Shit, he doesn't have a head anymore!
>You push him off.
"Thanks Maple."
>The two of you enter the building and take different rooms.
>The room you take has three griffons, who all seem more than willing to fight.
>Initiate rock'n'roll mode.
BABABABABABABABABABAT
>God, you love this gun.
>AK master race.
>The lone desk in the room offers no answers to this riddle of the super weapon.
>God damn.
>You rush out of the room to another bull, and take a few shots to tear him up.
>"Hey Boss! I got something!" Maples shouts.
>"Whatcha got?"
>"Looks like some documents... 'Project Starswirl'?"
>"Take it! Dunno if it's connected, but take it!"
>The two of you run back out and meet with Fritz and Boss.
>You look back around.
>"One last spot. Let's move."
>You all move in towards the last small building.
>Fritz goes up and kicks the door in.
>You all rush in.
>"Watch the corners!" Maple calls.
>As you look around, you realize that this room is empty.
>And there is only one other door.
>Boss moves towards it, but freezes when you all hear a noise.
>It's a familiar noise.
>The noise of a bolt being cycled.
 
 
>On a Mosin Nagant.
 
 
>"What the fuck?" Boss whispers.
"Maybe... maybe they found my gun up north."
>"Shiiiit," Fritz puts a hand to his face.
"Hey, I had just gotten thrown across town by a fucking Stay-Puff'd-sized minotaur! Finding my gun wasn't the first fucking thing on my--"
PANG
>You all jump away from the door.
>"You'd better get out of here now!" a female voice demands.
>"Or what?" Fritz chuckles. "Everyone else is--"
>Whoever has the gun cycles the bolt again.
PANG
>Another bullet comes through the door.
"Jesus!"
>"Let's just wait her out," Boss mumbles.
>She cycles the bolt again and lets another one go.
>You all look at each other.
>"You're not hitting anything besides the door!" Maple observes.
>The bolt is cycled again and the gun is fired.
>Boss has to jump back to avoid getting grazed.
>"Close!" he shouts.
>You all laugh until the fifth round is fired.
"GO."
>The four of you kick the door in at once and point your guns at the individual behind the desk.
"Hooves up, bitch!"
>"Bitch?! Excuse ME?!"
>"SHUT UP!" Boss roars.
>She stands there, mouth wide open for a second, but does as he asks.
>You and Maple both look at him.
>You've never heard him make THAT noise.
>"Get out from behind the fucking desk!"
>She does as he asks.
>"Nugget, search the desk."
>You say nothing and raid the fucking desk.
>Take everything, Anon.
>"Are you always so submissive to him?" She says, an eye in your direction.
>You don't know what possessed Boss to dislike her so much but he's pissed.
>"OUTSIDE," he demands.
>She huffs and you all leave the building.
>She looks around at the masses of bodies.
>"The fuck are you doing?"
>"Admiring the damage..."
>"...You've done quite the job."
>You look around.
>She's right.
>There's dead bulls everywhere, along with a griffon or two.
>"Fuck, hold on."
>Boss rushes back into the building for a few moments.
>He re-emerges with your Mosin.
>The helicopter, which had been circling overhead, comes down in the middle of the camp.
>The five of you climb in and fly off.
 
>As you fly over the base, an amazing sight catches all your eyes.
>Each of the three turntables on base are gradually being occupied by massive artillery guns, each with multiple steam locomotives behind them, pushing them into place.
>You and Boss look at each other with wild eyes, remembering the conversation you had the night before.
>Holy shit, you called it!
>Fritz and Maple have the same "holy shit!" looks on their faces.
>So, you assume, do all the anons gathered in their masses around each of the behemoth turntables.
>"Fritz," Boss asks, putting a firm grip on the Nazifag's shoulder, "What're we lookin' at here?"
>"We are looking at... two... Krupp K5 class guns... aaaaand..."
>He turns to Boss, a glimmer in his eye.
>"...and ol' Gustav himself."
>Jesus, you love /mlp/.
>The mare looks down at the guns, an amused expression on her face.
>Boss doesn't like that.
>"You won't be smiling when you're sitting at the fuckin' business end of the shells those fuckers are throwin'."
>"I doubt that will happen. I think you're overestimating your abilities."
>"I think you're underestimating how much you're gonna get raped."
>"Literally and figuratively," Fritz cracks.
>He's right.
>She's not a bad-looking mare, and of course these faggots will >rape anything that moves.
>hopefully she'll be escorted straight from the helipad.
>As you land, Shining Armor and two guards are there to meet you.
>"PLEASE tell me you found someth--"
>You drop a big vanilla folder on the ground in front of him.
>"Something called Project Starswirl. Get on it, Shining," Boss advises.
>"Oh, we will, Boss. And HOPEFULLY this mare will be a little more cooperative with us than she was with you.
"She had my fucking gun."
>You hold your old Mosin in the air.
>Shining laughs.
>"You should hold onto your gear a little tighter!"
>Yea.
>Kinda hard to do that when you get thrown thirty yards and hit the ground with all the force of an eighteen-wheeler.
>"Anyway," Shining says, "we'll get this one outta your hair; I'm sure you guys wanna take a look at... whatever those monstrous things are."
>Oh, do you ever.
>As they three lead the bitchy mare away, she gives you one last, admittedly sexy look.
>But fuck her.
 
>The four of you sprint--seriously, SPRINT--from the helipad, as if you're a group of first-graders on the last day of school.
>Other anons shout and whistle at you as you tear your way, but you pay no heed.
>As you reach the gathered crowd, you push your way through until you find Dallas and the britbog from the Screamin' Eagle squad.
>"Holy shit, boys!" Boss chimes.
>"Righ'?" Eagle lead replies.
>You listen to the slow huffs of the locomotives as they slowly push the massive Gustav into place.
>The steam is hot, and, well, steamy.
>You can hear music coming from one of their cabs.
>Sounds like Hendrix.
>One blows a three-tone whistle, bringing cheers from the crowd of green, bald soldiers.
>Some of the other locomotives join it, throwing everyone into a frenzy.
>Boss, who somehow got beer, hands you one, and you take a sip, watching the big steamers do their job.
>Considering the size of the brute in question, they're doing a good job of putting it in gently.
"They picked the right locomotives."
>"Oh dude, there was a big argument about it on The Thread, apparently," Dallas replies.
"Really?"
>"Yea, someone pic related the guns, and then someone else asked 'how the hell are ya gonna move 'em, 'cause I don't think these little pony trains can do it'. So someone pic related some locomotive and said 'we'll use this'. So then they got into this big debate about what locomotives would be best to use and a bunch got posted. So now they got a fuck-ton of human locomotives up at a big rail hub near Manehattan and no fuckin' idea what to do with 'em."
>Welcome to 4chan.
>Where we'll argue about LITERALLY anything.
 
 
>You sit quietly on a plastic chair in the open hangar, letting the cool breeze gently roll over you in the pre-dawn darkness.
>"Angel!"
>You perk up when you hear nuke anon's voice.
"Yea?"
>"Change of plans... Ace 'n Eights are gonna take dawn patrol today; we got something else we need to do."
>You stand up.
>"Get wheels up; I'll explain when we're in the air."
"Roger."
>You grab you flight helmet and look up to your bird.
>Nuke anon loves to give you shit about flying a MiG.
>In fact, the two of you give each other shit about whatever the fuck is being flown.
>But this ol' bird has been doing well for you since you got here.
>And of course, Nuke anon is Nuke anon.
>He's got eight or nine rigs besides the Bear, which he's made infamous on the board.
>Whatever he decides to fly, you give him shit.
>And he gives you shit right back.
>It's all in good fun, though.
>When shit goes down, you watch each other's backs.
>Putting on your helmet, you walk lazily over to the ladder and climb up.
>You hop down into the cockpit and begin doing up your straps.
>Reaching about in the cockpit, you being hitting the necessary switches and buttons and such.
>as the engine kicks on, another anon jogs up and rolls the ladder away while you do up your flight mask.
>You begin manipulating flaps, ailerons and elevators in a quick check.
>Of course, you really don't need to check shit.
>This is essentially a brand-new plane.
>You disengage the brakes and ease the MiG forward out of the hangar.
>As you roll out, you look to find Nuke anon has selected an F-15 for this mission.
>Behind him, another anon rolls out with an F-18.
"Holy crap, Nuke, you actually know how to fly something built after 1965?"
>"Big surprise, right?"
>Thankfully, of all the fucking hangars they built, the one you're in is right next to the massive open area that you all use to take off and land.
>Literally anything could land here, it's that big an area.
>You turn the MiG out to face it.
>"Smoker will be joining us on this flight, Angel."
"Good to have you along, Smoke."
>"Finally get to blow some shit up... course I'm coming."
>You gun the throttle.
>As the MiG begins to roar across the desert, you smile.
>Never ceases to amaze how fast this fucker spools up to speed.
>Pulling back on the stick, you pull up and roar off.
>You nod as you note to yourself that everything feels good.
>You look off into the distance at the first dim rays of the sun, on the edge of the seemingly endless desert.
>"Alright, so here's the deal.We've been getting reports from along the eastern coast of massive-ass catbirds. Just one or two, but our dear princess is deeply concerned by the reports, nonetheless. So we're gonna go up there and look ourselves because they've only just started building defenses out there."
>"What do we do if we find them?"
>"Shove an AMRAAM up its ass, what else?"
>You laugh a little.
"Sounds simple enough."
>"Yea, it does..."
>Nuke, as he prefers to be called, pauses.
>"So, when do you guys think we're gonna go on the offensive? I mean I'm hearing stories about shit really starting to get done around here."
>You nod to yourself.
>The operators have been doing quite a number on the enemy. Especially Delta.
>You guys go up and do your thing without any trouble at all.
>You had the battle at Appeloosa, which saw a gallant defense by some nofuns fags in spartan armor.
>And of course, there's the rumors of humans volunteering to help rebels in Saddle Arabia.
>Some Afrika Korps type shit, probably.
"I figure that when we're done beating them out of Equestria, we'll just keep going."
>"Nothing wrong with a little aggressive expansion," Nuke chuckles.
>"You really think the Princesses would do that?" Smoker asks.
>"Eh... yea, maybe not... I would though."
"Who's to say WE won't?"
>"Good point, we could," Smoker agrees.
>"We should," Nuke says. "Go north or south, carve out a nice piece of land for ourselves."
>You imagine it.
>It could work.
>Like the Four Cannon thread, but real.
>Or it could go really bad, and you all end up killing each other.
>That's probably more likely.
 
>The sun glows orange as you reach the coast., flying over the Hayseed Swamps
>"Alright, boys, just a quick run up to around Baltimare and back. We don't see anything, we come back tomorrow and do it again. Roger?"
"Roger."
>"Roger."
>Stop, looking at the swamp, faggot.
>It's go time.
>You keep your eyes peeled on the skies around you as you and your two comrades make your way up the coast.
 
>As you reach Horseshoe Bay, your radio crackles to life with a new voice.
>"Lions One, Two and Three, this is Horseshoe Tower, are you receiving?"
>"That's a copy, Horseshoe, we read loud and clear"
>"First of all, thanks for making the flight out here, anons; hope it was a smooth one."
>As you hear him talk, you hear another voice barely coming in behind him, calling people to come listen because Nuke anon is here.
>"Second, let me fill you in; some anons watching the sea have been reporting what look to be griffons, but bigger. Since we're still in the process of setting up Ack-Ack positions and all the air units in Canterlot are tied up elsewhere, we had to call down to Fort Chan."
>Fort Chan.
>That should be 4tChan.
>"Understood, Horseshoe, we-- wait a minute, I got something on scanners here..."
>You look down at your own instruments.
>Shit.
>"Horseshoe, I've got contact. One-seven-five, seventy-two miles... we've got a flight of three, angels ten."
>"Roger that, Lion One, three contacts, seventy-two miles."
>You watch your comrade for a moment.
>He's not making any sudden moves yet, so you're ok for now.
>"Horseshoe, contacts appear to be heading three-one-five now, speed four-thirty, angels... around eight-thousand."
>"Roger."
>Nuke turns out towards the ocean.
>You and Smoker follow suit.
>There's another long moment of silence.
>"Two-zero-seven, sixty one miles... bearing one-eight-zero....angels eight, heading three-three-zero."
>"Horseshoe copies all, Lions."
>It's hard to know where the fuck they could be.
>The sun is getting bright now, making it difficult to see as you fly out to sea, straight towards it.
>"Bogies seem to be... juking to the right now, heading north. Speed four-three-zero, angels nine-thousand now, into descent.... distance fifty-three miles now."
>"Lions, any idea what we're looking at."
"Negative, horseshoe. Hard to know what they are when ya can't see them."
>"Bogies appear to be heading directly at us, I'm coming to port, steady up one-fife-zero for thirty degree offset, fifty miles."
>You and Smoker snicker quietly.
>Nuke has admitted to you before that he doesn't know what any of that shit means.
>He just watches the dials and flies at whatever he's gonna blow up.
>All the fancy words are to make him sound good in case anyone noteworthy is watching or listening.
>He'd tell you he prefers to fly his WWII prop jobs.
>"Just shoot what you see," he'd say.
>You'd rather not say anything, lest you make the three of you look like the idiots you really are.
>"Forty-nine miles now, speed four-fifty, angels nine, I'm going down to three."
>"Roger."
>The three of you descend down towards their level.
>As Nuke anon continues to talk, your heart begins to quicken.
>All you've done so far is blow up some big bulls on the ground.
>This will be your first taste of actual air combat.
>"Thirty degree offset now. Bogies heading three-four-zero, speed five hundred, let's accelerate."
>You push the throttle forward and listen to the engine whine as you're pushed even further into the seat.
>"Bogies have jinked back into us now, let's come starboard, thirty degrees, other side."
>You turn the stick and pull back, turning to the right along with your two flight mates.
>You're trying not to meet them head-on, just in case.
>"Lions, this is Horseshoe, close out warning yellow. Weapons hold, I repeat, warning yellow, weapons hold."
>"Roger that, warning yellow, weapons hold."
"Copy."
>"Horseshoe, bogies have jinked back into me now, for the third time. Thirty-five miles, nose is on. Angels seven."
>Nuke's raising his voice.
>This is serious shit.
>"Taking another offset starboard, two-one-zero."
>You look back down at your own radar.
"One, this is Two, I got them leveling off now, distance thirty miles."
>"Roger that, let's level off."
>You pull back on your stick and level out.
>"Bogies turned back into me for the fourth time, we're coming back port. Twenty-seven miles, seven thousand feet."
>You all begin to turn your planes back into their direction.
>There's no avoiding a tangle now.
>"Copy that lions. Bogies bearing one-three-five, angels sixteen. Heading three-four-zero. You're in collision."
>Oh boy.
>Here we go.
>"Bogies have jinked BACK into me for the fifth time, they're on my nose. Inside of twenty miles."
>"Roger that Lions... Hope you make this a good fight; We've got a bit of an audience, here."
>"Roger that, Horseshoe, fifteen miles."
>"Say your angels."
>"I'm at angels five, nose up."
>"No, HIS angels."
>"Uhh, angels nine, twelve miles."
>You take your free hand and arm your missiles.
>"Fox one!" Fox one!"
>You watch as an AMRAAM shoots out from under Nuke's left wing.
"Ten miles."
>The AMARAAM disappears into the distance.
>You look around one last time.
>"Five miles, break and engage."
"Roger, breaking off."
>You pull away from Nuke while he ducks low and Smoker takes a high angle.
>You enter into a bank of clouds.
>"Horseshoe, these AREN'T catbirds!
>"What are they, Lion 1?"
>"We got DRAGONS, Horseshoe!"
>As you emerge from the clouds, you see a trio of massive, armored dragons.
>One of whom is buzzing about, desperately trying to evade the AMRAAM Nuke fired.
>Another one makes a b-line for it and reaches out for it.
BOOM
"Oh shit!"
>"Good kill, good kill!" Smoker laughs.
>The third dragon immediately engages you, almost tearing the canopy off your MiG.
"Shit!"
>"Watch 'im, he's behind you, Two--"
>The other dragon manages to do what the one who attacked you couldn't.
>His armored claws dig deep into Smoker's left wing, and he pulls it off completely with what you can only assume is steroid-or-magic-induced strength.
>You look back as the wing falls away.
>"Shit!" Nuke shouts as you both watch the rest of the F-18 fall out of the sky.
>"Horseshoe, we've lost Lion Three! Say again, Lion three is down!"
>You see a minor explosion, and Smoker successfully ejects from the cockpit.
"Thank fuckin' Christ."
>"King Bulls, now we got fuckin' DRAGONS! Where the fuck are they comin' from?"
>You don't know if you want the answer.
>You quickly look behind you.
>That fucker's still there; you have to evade.
>As you pull as tight a turn as you can, all you can hear is your own breathing and your heartbeat.
>The dragon stops and watches you as you complete your gut wrenching turn.
>She takes a shortcut and flies straight toward you, her claws extended.
>Shit.
>You pull up as hard as you can, roll over and pull back again, completing an especially acrobatic stunt that sees your flying lizard friend staring down the nose of the mighty Foxbat.
>She panics and turns around, trying to outrun you.
"Good luck."
>"Huh?"
"Don't worry about it, Nuke. kill that birdie bastard."
>"Roger."
>The giant dragon you're tracking is desperately trying to lose you.
>Again, good luck.
>Bitch, you're not outrunning a Foxbat.
>You switch on the locking mechanism.
>The familiar 'beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep' begins as the targetting computer begins closing on the dragon.
"Tracking... tracking... tracking..."
>"C'mon, get 'im, Angel!"
"....Tracking!..."
>The beepbeepbeep turns to a beeeeeeeeeeeep...
"...Lock! Fox 1!"
>You launch your own AA-6 missile.
>It tears out from under you and begins chasing the ladylizard.
>The poor bitch dives down, then flies back upward, trying to evade.
>"Ha... too late."
>The explosion is brilliant, but you're too busy watching it to realize that you're flying right into it.
>While no damage is doen, you emerge on the other side with a generous helping of blood smeared on you windscreen.
"Damnit, I can't see!"
>You find one spot in the window that you can see out of.
>"Angel, take evasive action! He's on you!"
"Roger!"
>You roll over and loop around again.
>"I got him, Angel, just keep evading."
"You're gonna have to play spotter, Nuke, I can't see anything!"
>"Roger that, he's in on your five o'clock!"
>You look over your shoulder.
>You catch a fleeting glimpse of the fucker.
"I'm goin' to port, Nuke!"
>"Roger."
>You bank left and pull the stick, making a hard turn.
>You hear the earth shattering thuds from the F-15's cannon as Nuke tries to shoot down the lizard.
>"Goin' starboard."
>"Copy."
>You bank hard right and pull back.
>Nuke lets go of another burst of cannon fire.
>"Target hit, but still goin'. Keep going, Angel, I almost got him!"
"Goin port again, get the fucker!"
>One last time, you bank and pull.
>You hear more thundering gunfire, followed by a pain-filled roar.
>"That's a kill!"
>Thank fuck.
"Horseshoe, this is Lion Two; radio back to Fort Chan and report mission accomplished."
>"Roger."
>"And report one casualty," Nuke adds. "See if you can get one of those coastal PBY patrols out here, yea?"
>"Copy that Lions. Thank you."
>"Ahh, no problem."
>No, that wasn't a problem.
>The problem will be landing this bird with all the blood on the windscreen.
 
 
>You and Boss lean against the barracks doorway and watch as an F-15 and a MiG-25 roar over the base, wheels down and heading for the massive sand pit that the use for a runway.
>"They lost someone up there, apparently."
"Damn."
>"Yea... Fuckin' dragons."
>Fucking lovely.
>You both see a trio of stallions approach, carrying boxes and large bags.
 
>As it turns out, they're mail ponies.
>And they brought a lot of shit for the residents of Fort Chan.
>One mail pony calls out the names of the squads in your barracks, and everyone is very excited to be getting letters from ponies from around the kingdom.
>"But what about the rest of that shit?" one Marine anon asks.
>They still have a whole huge bag and a few boxes.
>"This," one of them ponies laughs, "THIS is all for Delta Squad."
>That causes a frenzy of guys both laughing and bitching.
>Of course, the alpha fucks are the lead bitchers.
>"What the fuck makes THEM so special?" one asks.
>"Who the fuck cares if they saved fucking Twilicorn?! I would've let her die."
>The rest of the barracks collectively asks if they could kindly shut the fuck up.
>You get a pile of letters dumped into your lap and a box.
>Everyone in the barracks begins laughing and chatting as they open their shit.
>You open your first letter.
>"Dear 'Nugget',
>How are you? I hope you're doing well; I've heard some terrifying stories from the front. I also hope all of your squadmates are okay.
>I met you when you were in Ponyville; do you remember picking me up and snuggling me?"
>Oh shit.
>It's fucking Snowdrop.
>Your heart melts.
>"It was very sweet of you to do that; you didn't have to!
>Anyway, I wanted to thank you for what you're doing. Like I said, I've heard some scary things from pony guards returning home; they're all being relieved by you fellows of the HVF! That's very sweet of you all to let them come home while you fight."
>Wait... how the fuck can she write?
>She probably dictated to someone else.
>"I'm very happy to have my older sister home, thanks to you... she's writing this letter for me! She was stationed at the air tower at Horseshoe Bay, and has told me stories of Humans in flying machines fighting Dragons. They must be very brave to fly so fast!
>Anyway, like I said, I hope you're well, and give your best to the others in your unit. I hope we can meet again someday!"
>"All the best,
>Snowdrop"
>You heart is melting into your legs at this point.
>"D'awwwww," Fritz says out loud, reading the letter over your shoulder.
>"What?" Boss asks as he sifts through his shit, certainly looking for a letter form Rarity.
>"Nugget got a letter from Snowdrop."
>"A'wwwwwww," Dallas calls out from his bunk as he reads a letter.
>"Aw, God," a marine anon says as he walks by, "can I read it?"
"Sure, go ahead."
>You hand him the letter.
>He reads it rather quickly, and you can see his face melt onto the page.
>"That's just... I can't dude, I can't. Take it back, PLEASE, before I melt."
 
>You laugh as you take back the letter.
>"YES!" Boss roars in triumph as he finally finds a letter from Rarity.
"Oh God."
>All three of you go over and lean over Boss' shoulders.
>He decides to read it aloud.
>"My dearest 'Boss'..."
>Christ, this'll be good.
>"My heart aches in a way that it never has before. Although the moments we have shared have thus far been frustratingly fleeting, I do so long to see you again."
>You all begin to chuckle as other anons in the barracks stop and listen, snickering themselves.
>Alpha leads looks pissed.
>He must be a Rarifag.
>"The way my heart flutters when you gaze into my eyes, they way my pulse raced when you kissed my hoof the first time we met, the way you talk when we're alone, how I miss it so, darling..."
>You're all laughing the whole time.
>You in particular are laughing at Alpha lead, who's only getting more and more red with each word.
>Boss, noticing this too, begins to read with all the acting of a middle-schooler in a Shakespeare production.
>"Indeed, my sweet, how I long for you; your touch, your voice, your eyes... your very soul."
>Some of the /mlk/ and marine anons begin to laugh.
>This is getting ridiculous.
>"I LONG for the day that you will return to me, the day that I might once again feel your strong arms around me!..."
>You fall onto Boss' bunk with laughter.
>Alpha lead looks like he's about to explode.
>"...the day that we might finally seal our fates with a kiss, your lips pressed, oh-so-close to mine..."
>That's the killer.
>The whole barracks begins to howl with laughter, many anons falling back onto their beds.
>Some cheer and yell out catcalls.
>At this same instant, Alpha lead storms out, having heard enough.
>"Our stories are intertwined in a way neither of us can understand, my dear... we were meant for each other... But I don't mean to rant. Along with this letter you will receive a special something I've made for you... It will go nicely with your hat, if I do say so myself--awwwww..."
>"Awwwwww," the whole barracks responds, then laughs.
>"Well, let's see it!" a marine anon demands.
>Boss takes the box he received and uses a pocket knife to open it.
>As he pulls it out, you recognize what it is.
>You know those fucking scarves that you always see the guys wearing when they're overseas?
>It's one of those.
>It's midnight green and silver.
>"Oh god! I gotta bring the hat back now! Fuck the helmet!"
>Everyone laughs.
>He quickly wraps the scarf around his neck, then pulls his Eagles hat out of his locker and throws it on his head.
>"Fuck yea!"
>You all laugh harder.
>He picks the letter back up.
>"I hope you think of me when you wear it, as though I', wrapping my hooves around your neck and hugging you with all my love."
>More "dawwwwww's".
>"But again, I mean not to rant. Please give all my love to your fellow anons, and let them know that I'm keeping them all in my thoughts. But even they are secondary to you, my dear.
>All the love I have,
>Rarity.
>"Twenty bucks to the fucker who shows that to Nuke anon," Fritz offers.
>OH SHIT.
>"Oh shit!" a marine anon shouts.
>Everybody begins laughing.
>"Pretty sure he'd kill us all!" Dallas remarks.
>You're not so sure.
>You don't know him well, but from as much as you do know, he seems a lot more level-headed than he puts out on the board.
>He probably wouldn't ACTUALLY bomb Canterlot unless he had a legitimate reason.
 
 
>You watch Nuke read the letter that some Marine anon ran in with, chuckling.
>He sighs heavily after a few tense moments, then tosses the letter aside.
"I'm sorry, man."
>You don't quite know what else to say.
>Nuke sighs again.
>"It's... it's whatever..."
>No it's not.
>Everyone knows how much of a Rarifag Nuke is.
>When he's not blowing up Canterlot, he's dumping in Dress Horse threads.
>One of the Delta boys--you think it's Boss--shows up.
>"Nuke, I'm sorry, man--"
>"It's fine dude... you saved her life after all."
>He hands the letter back to Boss.
>"We wouldn't have gotten through the border without you... I'll make sure she knows that."
>Nuke nods.
>"...thanks."
>You look down to the unopened letter that was addressed to Nuke.
"Hey... you gonna open that shit?"
>He looks down at it, sighs, then picks it up.
>"Why the fuck not?"
>Boss sits down next to him as he opens it.
>It's paperclipped to something else.
>"To 'Nuke,'
>I'm not one for flowery talk, so I'm gonna be straight with you... I saw your picture in the paper, the one with your flying machine. Some of the stories you told... I know how it feels.
>"Being a Wonderbolt, I myself have been on a few air missions... dangerous ones. But the things you do? I can't imagine it... all those weapons at your disposal, the ability to condemn and enemy with the push of a button... it must be mind-boggling, even to you."
"Who the fuck is it from?"
>"I dunno."
>He keeps reading.
>"You and I... we're a rare breed, Nuke... we flyers know the world in a way few others do... from above. If you're ever around Cloudsdale, come up and see me."
>"Yours, Spitfire."
>DAMN.
>"P.S... I heard you fellas like plot shots..."
>Nuke and Boss look wide-eyed at each other.
>What's paper-clipped to this fucker??
>He pulls it out.
>There are a series of pictures, most of which feature Spitfire's ass.
>You and Boss begin to howl with laughter.
>"Fuck Rarity, man, Spit wants your dick!" The marine anon says.
>"Ehh..."
"Dude, c'mon! She's THROWING herself at you!"
>Nuke smiles as he views the pics, and beings to nod his head.
>"Alright, okay... I'll give 'er a shot.
>You smirk.
>That was a less than enthusiastic response for a guy who's got an admirer who's willing to take picture of her plot and mail them to him.
>She's literally all-but-screaming "PLEASE! FUCK ME! FUCK ME YOU STUPID BASTARD!"
>"Lemme see 'em!" the marine anon demands.
>"You can see ONE," Nuke replies, handing him one featuring Spit in a bomber jacket presenting her plot.
>"Whooo-hoo!"
>Yea, it's pretty hot--"
>The four of you all stop what you're doing when you hear a commotion outside
>Boss immediately gets up and leaves.
>You and NUke look at each other, shrug, and follow him, as does the marine.
>Outside of the hangar, two groups are nearly ready to start a brawl.
>One group is all wearing balaclavas, but besides that are wearing different clothes.
>The other group match perfectly; Black berets, ski masks, camo jackets, olive pants and boots.
>You recognize the balaclava guys as the Screamin' Eagles squad.
>The others... no idea.
>"Ya fuckin' wanker! I swear I'll kill ya!" Eagle lead declares.
>"Let's see it, then, fooker! C'mon!" the othe replies.
>He sounds Irish.
>THe lead Eages lunges for him, but gets grabbed by his squadmates.
>THe lead of the other group does the exact same.
>"He's not worth the trouble!" One of the Eagles tells his sergeant. "He's just another bloody Paddy!"
>"W'got more important things to worry 'bout than this fookin' shoibag!" one of the other guys insists to his sergeant.
>They must all be Irish.
>Boss steps in and pushes the two apart.
>"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa WHOA... WHOA... break it up, fellas!"
>"Ah, Boss," Eagle lead says, "There you are; we were lookin' for you before--"
>"Before this Arse decided to accost us fer what we're wearin'!"
>"You're a fuckin' disgrace to the crown!"
>An' bloody proud, faggot!"
>"Alright, shut up!" Boss demands.
>You're impressed by how quickly both sides follow his order.
>"Eagles, do me a solid and go back to the barracks? Since you're under my 'command' I might have to file this shit. I'll get your story back there."
>"Shit... alright, boys, let's go."
>The Eagles turn around and walk away.
>"And as for YOU..." Boss says, turning around and pointing at the beretfags with his ber.
>He waits for a moment as the Eagles round a corner.
>With a smile, he raises his beer.
>"...to the Cause, gents."
>You, Nuke and the marine all laugh as they Irishfags all pull alcohol from their jackets, each also chuckling.
>"To the Cause," their sergeant replies with a wink as they all clank and drink.
>"Name's Lim, by the way."
>"As in Limerick?"
>Lim smiles.
>"You know, do ya?"
>"My ol' man's from Galway."
>"Ahh, I see."
>He points to his boys one-by-one.
>"He's Dun, he's Bel, and he's Mayo."
>"Boss."
>They all nod.
"I haven't seen you around. When'd you get here?"
>"Heh, Ten bloody minutes ago. Still a tunna 'non's comin' in up from Canterlot."
>"So I've heard," Boss says with a nod and another swig. "Still mostly swordfags, yea?"
>"Aye, mostly swordfags."
>Lim takes another drink of whatever's in that flask.
>Probably whiskey.
>"There's only this cluster o'Bowsies operatin'?" Dun asks.
>"Nahh," Boss replies, "We're operatin' all over, just stuck a ton of us here."
>"Lovely little shower o' savages," Mayo comments.
>"Fuckin' A, we are," Boss replies.
>As they continue to talk, you can understand less and less of what they're saying.
>Boss' words become more and more similar to the Irishfags as his clarity deteriorates.
>You and Nuke look at each other, thinking the same way, and go back into the hangar.
 
>It's been a few days since anyone on base has done anything.
>You've spent a few nights with Boss, drinking a few barracks over with the IRAfags, Rover Team.
>You've been getting a kick out of their back-and-forth insults with Screamin' Eagles.
>They call them Black n' Tans, and in return, they get called Fumblin' Dublins.
>Since Boss has been there, it's never gotten bad, so it's just funny.
>But besides that, nothing's really going on.
 
>Boss tells you that he heard from Shining, who heard from Cadence, who is off in some undisclosed location, that there is intense debate as to whether or not the Human Volunteer Forces should be used in an offensive matter, or if the only objective is defense.
>The sentiment for an offensive push is unanimous around here, obviously.
>Of course, everyone here has seen some sort of action at this point, but running off and doing day trips to blow up an odd King Bull or something... it's getting old.
>Boss put it best.
>"We came here to end a war... if they want us to end the war, let us off the chain already!"
 
>One afternoon Boss busts in, startling whoever is in the barracks.
>"Delta! we got orders!"
>You sit up.
>Niner follows him.
>"/mlk/, load up, we're moving."
>The Marine sergeant follows him.
>"MARINES."
 
>Holy shit.
>It's on, huh?
 
>"Alright boys, here's the full briefing: We're gonna use those big guns, and WE'RE gonna tell 'em where to shoot."
>That it?
"That's it?"
>"Well if ya let me finish, Anon. Anyway, in the capitol city of the Griffon Empire, Gryphendel, is a large facility with a series of generators on it; they dunno who built it, but anyway, it's providing some sort of barrier over the kingdom so our recon and spy shits can't see anything. Our job is to get within visual range of the thing, call the fire mission back to Gustav and the Krupps, and watch it rain.
"So what's everybody doing?"
>"Well, Rover Team and Alpha are coming with us.
>You all groan.
>"Alpha? Seriously?" Fritz complains.
>"Yea. Alpha... now we're not gonna bitch, right? Let's just deal with it."
>You shake your head as you load an FAL magazine.
"If they give us any shit--"
>"Rover's gonna have our backs."
>You sigh.
"Alright, if you say so."
 
 
>The plane shakes and rattles loudly, like it's trying to tell you something.
>"You're all gonna die! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
>Yea, that's what it's saying.
>You look to Boss, who's helping Fritz get his gear ready for the jump.
>Maple chats with Dun, who's explaining how he got his hands on an Israeli assault rifle.
>Alpha sit impatiently beside you.
>You look to them
>Alpha's lead--Shor, he goes by--looks to you.
>Before he gets the chance to give you some douchebag comment, you nod to Rover team.
"Whaddaya think of these guys?"
>Shor looks to them, then back to you.
>"Stupid Mick faggots. They're probably better at making car-bombs than they are at shooting... too bad there aren't any cars here."
>He adjusts his glasses and gives you a smirk.
>The pilot calls out.
>"This is Blackbird. LZ is in range. Thirty seconds."
>Everyone stands up and does one last gear check.
>You watch as the back door slowly begins to open.
>The air roars past the plane, sounding like a goddamn vortex.
>The vibration also gets significantly worse.
>Every eye in that bay is one the light.
>It's still red.
>Butterflies fill your stomach as you stare at it.
>After what feels like an eternity, it finally turns green.
>Boss looks back at you briefly before running to the edge and jumping out.
>Fritz and the whole of River go after.
>You close your eyes, run at full gate and jump into the darkness.
>You can see nothing.
>Literally.
>The only indication you have that you're not dead is the roar of air that whips over you on all sides.
>Apparently Luna didn't find it necesary to light up your drop.
>But then again, if there was a full moon overhead, every catbird between here and the capital would know where you are.
 
>Good call, princess.
 
>"Whoooooooo!" Boss calls over comms.
>"Wait... what the hell is that?!"
>A bright flash catches your eye.
>You watch as a bolt of lightning, coming from somewhere on the ground, reaches up high in the air and strikes the C-130 you JUST jumped out of.
"Shit!"
>"Overlord, this is Blackbird; mayday, mayday, mayday! We've taken severe electrical damage from an unknown force. I can't keep her in that air, we're gonna have to bail out! How copy?"
>Shit.
>"Solid copy, Blackbird," Another voice calls. "Delta, this does not change the mission; it is imperative that you reach the capital."
>"Roger!" Boss calls.
>"Don't worry about us, Delta, we'll be alright! God luck! Blackbird out!"
>"Roger that! ALPHA! What's our altitude?"
>"Eight thousand feet!" Shor replies
"Still got your glasses, Alpha?"
>Fritz laughs loudly.
>"Fuck you, Delta!"
>"Alright, alright, get it t'gether!" Lim calls.
>"Roger that, ALPHA, altitude!"
>"Seven thousand!"
>The rushing of wind continues around you.
>You being to lose track of time.
>It all just feels like forever.
>"Six thousand!"
>You take one last look around in the darkness.
>Only now are you curious as to where in Catbird land you've actually been dropped.
>"Five thousand!"
>You grab hold of your chute cord.
>The roaring wind is now accompanied by a sense of tension as you wait impatiently for boss to give the "open" order.
>"Four thousand!"
>"NOW!" Boss calls.
>As you pull the chord, your head snaps back suddenly.
>The rest of the fall is a blur.
 
"Hey, guys... ya wanna gimme a hand?"
>You sturggle to free yourself from the chute, which hangs you about eight feet from the ground.
>"Jeazus, you fuck," Bel chuckles.
>"Ahh, leave 'im up there. We can come back and get him on the way out," Fritz jokes.
"Not funny. Gimme a hand."
>"You amateur!" another alpha fag, Kyne, scoffs as the four of them approach.
>"Is he ALWAYS this clumsy?" Shor asks.
>"No," Boss replies with a bit of a snap as he tosses you his box cutter.
>You manage to grab it and proceed to cut yourself down, the last eight feet being the most inconvenient of your life.
"Ow," you say casually as you sit up.
>Boss reaches down.
>"C'mon, let's move."
>He helps you up.
>GOD, this shit is heavy.
>You were told to prepare for a multi-day mission, so you packed as many MRE's and ammo mags as you could into every orifice in your clothing.
>But maybe the extra changes of underwear were a little much.
>The twelve of you drudge your way through the thick forest, with Maple and Dun taking point about fifty yards ahead.
"So Fritz..."
>"Yea?"
>You've always been curious.
"Why Trixie?"
>He chuckles.
>"I... I dunno, man..."
>You smirk.
"Just sorta happened?"
>"Y--... Yea, I guess."
>He hops over a large stone.
>"I mean, when I saw her in the first season she annoyed the shit outta me... just saw her as a total bitch, y'know?"
>So did you.
"Yea, I getcha... so what changed?"
>"I dunno. I guess the board had something to do with it... I just happened to fall into a Trixie thread and some of the stuff posted was just adorable... and this one faggot wrote a one-shot about her and how she just wanted to be loved... it clicked with me, y'know?"
>You nod.
"You decided you'd be the guy to love her?"
>Fritz chuckles.
>"One of a few... Haven't met any but ya gotta think they're here somewhere."
>"Trixie's fucking cancer," Shor snipes. "She's a selfish piece of shit."
>"Takes one to know one, faggot."
>"Shut up back there," Boss says in his best impersonation of a Skyrim guard.
>You and Fritz chuckle.
>Shor huffs.
>"Wrong guard voice."
>"Who cares?... and why the fuck are you all named after Skyrim characters anyway?" Fritz asks.
>It's true.
>Shor, Kyne, Alduin and fucking Tsun.
>"Seriously, shut up... They know we're here, clearly, don't you think they're looking for us?"
>Shit, that's true.
>No one responds.
"She send you anything?" you whisper.
>Fritz pats one of the pockets in his vest.
>"Haven't read it yet... once we find somewhere to chill for a bit, I will," he whispers back
>You nod again.
"She seemed to take well to you just scooping her up and carrying her around all day."
>"Oh, she took to it very well," he laughs.
>You chuckle.
>"Say... who the hell is your waifu, anyway?"
>Shit.
>"You do have one, don't ya? I mean who gives a fuck if you don't, but I'd be surprised to find someone here who didn't come to save their waifu."
"Well, uh.... I'm kind of a Sunfag."
>"Really?" he says, cocking his head. "You didn't seem to excited when we met her."
>Revealing your power level by fanyboying at her would have been the worst thing you've done.
"I was... still trying to get to grips on what was going on at that point... and then the other time... well I mean we were all blasted."
>You could only imagine how much she was giggling at the lot of you.
>That probably doesn't help your case, either.
>In fact, that whole probably doesn't help you much.
>You know it's bad when the boys on base are all referring to it as "The Royal Rumble".
>"Ye-hea, we were, weren't we?" he laughs. "Probably not the best time to put the moves on a mare, huh?"
"That's what I figured."
>"So you actually thought about it?"
>He laughs as quietly as he can.
>"I would have loved to see that."
>You chuckle and look about.
>You can't help but notice Tsun glaring at you through your NVGs, your only source of light.
>Clearly he's a Sunfag too.
>You instinctively flip him off.
>Fritz laughs beside you before Maple calls in.
>"Everybody stop."
>The whole group freezes.
>You drop t one knee and raise the FAL, scanning the area.
>"You hear that?" Fritz mumbles.
>You nod as you begin to hear shouting.
>"Shit..." Dun mumbles. "They're close, boyo's."
>"All points, standby, standby..." Boss mumbles.
>Your eyes glance quickly around again, and you notice movement to the left.
>"Contact, ten o'clock."
>A lightning bolt flies in from that area, hitting Tsun and drawing a blood-curdling scream as he slowly sinks to the ground.
"Shit!"
>"All points, GO LOUD!"
>You drop to the ground and start shooting blind in the general direction that the bolt came from.
>The whole place lights up with flashing muzzles and roars with gunfire.
>"Watch you heads! Contact up!" Boss calls.
>Glancing up, you see a catbird swooping down and move just in time to avoid it.
>You roll over and begin shooting again as you come back up, putting the bastard in his place.
>"We gotta move, keep moving!" Shor calls out.
>That's probably a good idea, actually.
>The twe--scratch that, eleven of you begin to push forward, with you blindly shooting up and around at what you think might be catbirds.
>Some of you are getting hits, clearly, as you can hear the shrieking of birds as they get shot.
>All while dodging bolts of lightning.
>You can't seem to hit anything, though, while everyone around you is.
"Where do I shoot?!" you finally yell in frustration as you hop over a downed tree.
>"Just shoot anywhere," Fritz replies, "They're everywh--"
>"WAIT!" Boss roars.
>You all freeze.
>"Listen."
>As you slowly scan the area, you keep your ears open.
>And you hear nothing.
"Did... did we kill them all?"
>You and Fritz look at each other.
>Seriously?
>A blind hail of bullets later and you're clear of the threat?
>This feels like fucking CoD.
>"Whew," Bel remarks with a sigh. "That's it then, is it?"
>"Alright, we win," Fritz chuckles. "Everybody go home."
>Some of you laugh quietly.
>"I don't really know if this is funny, guys..." Boss says.
>"Five minutes on the ground and we're already down a man... think about it," Lim concurs.
>Yea.
>That's true.
>You look to Shor.
>He's looking back behind the group, to where Tsun was killed.
>FOr the first time ever, you feel sorry for the faggot.
>While they'd done some scrub ops, this was the first big one, and they lose a man in five minutes.
>On the bright side, if he was a sunfag, he's less competition.
>Though something tells you stying alive isnt enough to impress the sun princess.
>You probably have to do some crazy-heroic thing, like how Boss earned Rarity's heart by jumping on a King Bull.
>At east, you think that's what it was.
>"Alright, boys, let's move out... no time to lose."
 
>Except you actually have all the time in the world.
 
>The sun rises behind an overcast sky, and as you continue east, it begins to rain.
>Suddenly, this feels like Vietnam.
>You swear you can hear "White Rabbit" playing from somewhere.
>You note how badass Fritz looks with the rain trickling down and dropping off the sides of his stahlhelm.
>He, like Boss, went back to his original loadout for this mission.
>You and Maple chose your fancy-pants Shadow Co. stuff.
>And you can't help but wonder how Boss is faring with all that rain pouring onto his...
>Oh wait, he's wearing the hat forwards.
>"We're approaching a clearin'; standby," Dun mumbles.
>Those of you who aren't Dun or Maple stop and scan the area as the two of them move ahead.
>"Boss, five tangos in the clearing. Permission to engage?"
>"Do it."
>"Roger, standby."
>Boss lowers his hand down as he slowly drops to his knee, and you all follow his order.
>"Just lemme put this damn suppressor on..."
>You sit down in the wet dirt, indifferent.
>Fritz does the same and reaches towards his pocket, presumably for the letter.
>He hesitates, then lowers his hand.
"Not the right time?" you whisper.
>"Nah... when we set up a camp somewhere for more than two minutes."
>You smirk.
"You wanna enjoy it."
>"I do. Be like if you got a letter from Sunbutt."
>You're not quite so sure.
>Something tells you she'd rather just appear to you like some vision of the Blessed Virgin.
>IF you got a letter from her, it would probably be a fucking dishonorable discharge.
>After all, you DID start the Royal Rumble.
>"Target down..." Maple whispers.
>A moment passes.
>"Tango down," Dun mumbles.
>God, they're good.
>"Target down."
Another moment passes.
>"...tango down..."
>Fritz shakes his head and chuckles.
>"Some real fuckin' operators, you two are."
>"British sniper trainin'.... goes a long way," Dun replies over comms.
>"Target down, and we're clear," Maple says quietly as he stands up.
>"Do we wanna check inside?"
>"Inside what?" Boss asks.
>"This fookin' shack here," Dun answers.
>"Yea. Nugget, we're up."
>You nod and stand up, sneaking up to join Boss.
>The two of you trek the thirty yards between you and the two snipers.
>Dun points to what looks to be a two-or-three room shack.
>"We got you covered, Boss," Maples says with a nod.
>You raise your FAL and begin scanning the area as the two of you make your way down the soggy embankment.
>This feels familiar.
>You remember Flutterguy, and your first mission, making your way down a rocky path to a pair of small buildings that was supposedly an outpost.
>You remember Boss quoting Lord of the Rings as he cut down bull after bull.
>That feels like an eternity ago.
>Months.
>Years.
>And it was only...what... nine or ten days?
>Damn...
>Something catches your foot, and sends you face-first into the wet ground.
>Boss does all he can not to laugh as you look up at his face, covered by the half mask with the skull teeth.
>"You're just a glutton for stupid today, aren't you?"
>He reaches down and helps you up for the second time this mission.
"Fuck..."
>You pick up your FAL, look it over quickly, then continue to follow Boss down to the shack.
>He kicks the rickety wooden door down and moves to the right, while you move to the left.
>You don't need to hear from Boss to know what to do.
>You move into the small room on the left and begin sca--
THWUNK
>There is a sudden unbearable pain in your stomach.
>You begin spraying the room, and upon hearing a griffon shriek, are satisfied that there's another dead catbird.
>But you're having trouble breathing.
>You look down to find a crossbow bolt sticking out of your stomach.
>Well shit.
>You fall against the wall as Boss rushes in.
>"Nugget? Nugget!... Shit! Delta, Nugget's down!"
>You're vision is beginning to blur.
>A motherly voice echoes in your ears as your vision goes completely.
>"...Anon... fear not, Anon... you're going to be alright..."
 
 
>The hot, unforgiving Saddle-Arabian sun beats down on your heavy armor, which only gets heavier with each step.
>But this, all things considered, is irrelevant.
>You are on a glorious mission.
>Spurred on by the news that ponies have begun organizing rebellions against their oppressive conquerors, Princess Celestia has sent you, along with a few thousand others, to help them liberate their desert kingdom.
>This is a holy endeavor.
>This... is a crusade.
 
>Some of these guys are just wearing shirts and shorts, their swords dragging in the sand because they have nowhere to put them.
>On the whole, though, you're surprised at how many others had not only brought swords, but full suits of armor, as yourself.
>Or at least a piece or two of armor.
>Though the factions vary, they all look impressive.
>The man to your left, in particular, has a full set of Teutonic Knight armor, complete with a massive pair of horns atop his helmet, which glisten like candles in the sunlight.
>He looks to you, breathing heavly under his helm as you are.
>"Are we sure this isn't 'Kingdom Of Heaven'?"
>You laugh.
"No, actually; I'm not so sure."
>He shakes his head and chuckles.
>"Call me Ulrich," he says, offering his massive shield.
"Ulrich, call me... shit I dunno, just call me Anon until I think of something."
>You both laugh as you bang his shield with your battleaxe.
"Everybody here's got cool names and I can't think of one."
>"Well," Ulrich says, looking your armor up and down, "you're a soldier of Antioch..."
>Edessan guardsman, in particular.
>"...soooo... damn, I dunno, man."
"Told ya!"
>"We'll figure it out," He concludes. "Say, where are we going, anyway?"
"Wherever these Napoleon douches take us, I guess."
>You look up ahead at the group of about twelve or fifteen guys, who are all wearing insanely ornate armor for a bunch of /mlp/ anons.
 
>They're also all on horseback.
 
>You can't help but wonder how the Canterlot guards, or the Princesses, or the citizens of Equestria reacted to their non-sentient counterparts.
>Chuckling, you imagine them trying to talk.
>They must believe these horses to be very rude and antisocial.
>Your thoughts are interrupted when one of these guys raises his hand.
>The rest of them stop, and begin yelling back at you guys to stop where you are.
>So you do.
"Traffic jam?"
>Ulrich laughs.
>"Maybe, man."
>One of them rides down the front line towards you.
>"PREPARE FOR BATTLE!" he roars.
>"Damn! Already?" someone says behind you.
"Holy shit."
>As the guy rides back down towards you, you think of a way to get his attention.
"Hey, faggot!"
>He stops.
>"Yes, faggot?"
>That earns a few chuckles.
"What the hell is going on?"
>"There is an army of Minotaurs waiting for us on the other side of this dune, anon. We have no choice but to engage them."
>You shrug.
"Alright."
>You look to Ulrich.
>He shrugs as well.
>"Alright, let's to it, then!"
>"Units, march!" the asshole on the horse calls out.
>You, Ulrich and all the anons around you begin to move forward to the top of the hill.
>As you reach the top and look down, you see an army of what look to be minotaurs waiting for you, a few hundred yards away.
>Damn.
>They got here fast, didn't they?
>"Halt!"
>Everyone stops.
>One of the others assholes further down calls out for archers.
"Archers?"
>"Apparently," Ulrich replies.
>As you look back down the line, you see the archers.
>Holy crap, there's a lot of them!
>Do so many anons REALLY know how to shoot arrows?
>As they fire, you get your answer.
>You watch hundreds of arrows sail through the air, you can't help but be impressed.
>They shower the battalions of minotaurs, some of whom freak out, break and run.
>That makes you laugh, along with a few guys around you.
>The fact remains, however, that they are much bigger than you, and that sobers your thoughts.
 
>The archers fire a few more rounds of shots at the stoic minotaurs.
>"HEAVY INFANTRY!"
>You guess that's you.
>Your hands take a tight grip of your battleaxe.
>Ulrich shouts loudly and pounds his sword on his shield.
>You're kinda wishing you had a shield now.
>"Move Forward!"
>Alright.
>Go time.
>The multiple lines of men begin to march down the sandy hill towards the bulls.
>Thank God you're not in the first line.
>You at least have a second or two to think of how to avoid getting slammed in the face when they start running up the hill.
>Which, after one of them roars something, they do.
>Fuck.
>"CHARGE!!"
>Everyone around you begins yelling and running, so you guess that's what you do too.
>You pick out a guy and run down towards him.
>As the two lines collide, you run up with the first line, close your eyes and take a wild swing.
CHLOONK
>Oh shit.
>You actually hit him.
>Unfortunately you never figured he'd be so heavy.
>As he falls to the ground, your axe goes with him.
>Damn, you cut him deep, didn't you?
>Now comes the problem of getting it out.
>You grab the blasted thing with both hands.
>It slowly begins to move, but you have to stop to avoid a wild swing of another axe.
>All of a sudden, you're pushed down onto your ass.
>A ragin bull stands over you, sword high over his head.
>"RAWWRR!"
>He brings it down and you close your eyes.
KAAAAAAAANG
>You ovpen your eyes again.
>Ulrich is standing over you, his massive shield between your face and the sword.
>He pushes the bull away and engages him as you scramble back to the dead bull with your axe in his chest.
>You can't hear yourself think over all the screaming, yelling, roaring and clanking of metal things.
>As you finally stand back up, you grab a hold of your axe and begin to pull again.
SHLINK
>There we go.
>Now, where's Ulrich?
>You see him, continuing to fight the bull.
>Rushing to him, you take a swing Babe Ruth would be jealous of.
>At the same time, Ulrich thrusts his blade into the beast.
>The two of you connect at the same time.
>This time, the axe is much easier to remove.
>"Not bad, slugger!" Ulrich says.
>Something clicks.
>You can tell by the way his head shifts that it clicks for him too.
"SLUGGER!" the two of you shout at once.
>The two of you duck under another axe or something.
>You turn around and hit the bastard dead in the gut.
 
>As such, you spend the rest of the bloody battle earning that nickname.
>You can't remember how many you killed.
>You just swung wild and hope you didn't hit an anon.
 
 
>Afterwords, you watch other anons go through the belongings of the dead, both bull and anon, looking for cool shit.
>It might not seem honorable to steal shit off your own dead, but you get it.
>The living need it more than the dead do.
>Ulrich approaches you, having jacked some anon's cape.
>It looks badass on him.
>"You get anything?"
>You lift a helmet you filched from the corpse of a minotaur.
>Kind looks like one of those Hurlock Alpha helmets.
>"Cool."
"I thought so too."
>He sits down next to you in the sand and removes his own helmet.
>You're surprised at the lack of a neckbeard.
>Or rampant acne.
>Or anything of the sort.
>This guy doesn't look like a horsefucker at all.
>Then again, you're not exactly a spaghetti-dripping sperglord, either.
"So did ya ever think we'd end up in Saddle Arabia?"
>"Nope... I was hoping I'd get to meet Candyass before I got here, too."
>You hold back a chuckle.
>"Yea, I know, blahblahblah Cadence is shit-tier."
"I don't mind her."
>"Oh, well that's rare here... so who's you're waifu?"
"Twilight."
>He chuckles.
"What?"
>"I'm tempted to say something about a Mary Sue."
"We came from /mlp/, it's nothing I haven't heard before."
>"True that, I suppose."
>You look up into the endless blue sky for a moment.
>"Has it hit you yet what's going on?"
"Nah, not really... I'm surprised that thread wasn't deleted or 404'd... it's been up for like a week and a half at this point."
>"Nothing the mods can do... They tried some shit, but clearly it didn't work."
>Oh well.
>You're better off here than at home anyway.
>You'd rather die from battle than die from boredom.
 
 
>"Anon... Nugget... You're alright, everything's okay."
 
>You slowly open your eyes.
>The pain in your stomach hits you immediately.
"Ow... Ow... Jesus Christ, ow..."
>You roll your head.
>Twilight sits perched on a chair, smiling softly at you.
>Below her, sitting on the floor, are Applejack and Fluttershy.
>The roar of a propeller plane overhead gives you a hint as to where you are.
>In a medbay at FortChan.
"How... how did I get back here?"
>"You were... uh... EE-vack'd, by yer buddies," Applejack replies awkwardly.
"Oh..."
>Boss stopped the whole fucking mission just to get you out?
>"Yes, good sir," a cute nurse pony says as she struts in, using her horn to float a clipboard in front of her, "You were evac'd by your teammates. Just in time, too. Another hour or so..."
>She looks to you with big green eyes.
>"...you might not have made it."
>Good on'ya, boys.
>She looks back down to her clipboard as you turn back towards the other ponies.
>"How... how do you feel, anon?" Fluttershy asks.
"I'm in a lot of pain."
>Fluttershy is visibly saddened by this.
>"Well, you're alive," Twilight says, trying to keep things on the bright side.
>Hell, she's right.
>You nod.
>The nurse kills the mood.
>"Your friend didn't fare so well.
"Who?" you ask quickly.
>You swear to Christ, if another Delta died...
>"Alduin," she replies. "While they were waiting for the evac for you, they were ambushed by some griffons. He went down in the fight so they sent him back too... he didn't make it."
>Damn.
>Alpha lost two guys in one mission.
>Wait...
"How long have I been here?"
>"Few days," Applejack replies.
"Any word back from the rest of them?" You ask the nurse.
>She sighs.
>"Only that Rover team lost a man... Mayo. But... they were too deep behind the lines for an evac at that point. That was yesterday."
>You nod slowly.
>Christ.
>Four casualties.
>And you guys are supposed to be the elite units?
"So... have I missed anything earth-shattering?"
>The nurse pops her eyes brows.
>"Oh yea," she say as she leaves.
>"Nugget... Manehattan was attacked by the griffons, not long after you and the others left... the city's burning."
>Damn!
"Holy shit..."
>"Yea," Applejack sighs. "Lotta ponies died... lotta humans, too."
>You shake your head.
>Jesus fucking Christ, they're serious.
"I'm... sorry to hear that..."
>"You'll you'll get 'em back, right?"
"Oh yea.... yea we will."
>When Boss and the boys make their way to the capital, you will.
>Well... maybe not YOU you.
"Sooo... where are the others?"
>"Umm..." Fluttershy begins, "I think Pinkie is... having a party with some of your friends."
>You hold back a chortle.
>rape
>"Rainbow Dash is off with them flyboys, flyin' guest on a patrol 'er somethin', and Rarity..."
>She and Twilight laugh quietly.
>"She's searching for Boss," Twilight finishes.
>Seriously?
"But... I mean, he's..."
>"We know, Sugarcube, that's what we told her!" Applejack laughs.
>"She just refuses to believe he's not here... it's pretty funny, actually."
>You smile a little.
>That's so cute it's stupid.
>You wish Celestia would do shit like that.
>Eh...
>..she'd probably go after a guy who doesn't get himself hurt in battle.
>Shit.
>You now feel like shit.
>"Are you okay, Nugget?" Twilight asks, probably seeing a change in your face.
"Huh?... yea, I'm good. Just thinkin' of the boys."
>"Ah'm sure they're fine, hun... tough bunch o' boys, that's what they are."
>Yup.
>Tough bunch of boys.
 
 
>"Hey, Nugget!"
>You jolt awake at the sound of Shining's voice.
>He and Twilight are sticking their heads in the doorway.
>"They're gonna start shelling the Griffon captial; the guys made it!"
"Ah... cool."
>Twilight uses her magic to roll a wheelchair into the room.
>"Nugg," SHining says, "they're gonna use those HUGE guns. Ya gotta come watch!"
"Uhh..."
>You know all the guys in your barracks are gonna give you shit if they see you in a wheelchair.
>"C'moooon," Shining pleads. "It's gonna be awesome!"
>You sigh.
"Fine, fine."
 
>The night is pitch-black and, thanks to all the lights on-base, starless.
>Though that might also be because Luna is hiding the squad.
>Thanks again, Princess.
>You could swear everyone on base is out here tonight, crowded around each of the three massive rail artillery pieces.
>The biggest, Gustav, towers above seemingly everything else.
>Shining and Twilight manage to get you through the crowds and up to the stand where the radio op is waiting for the call for a fire mission.
"How long?" you ask as you watch one of the Marine anons scoop up and cuddle Twilight, who has no objections to make.
>"Not long, hopefully."
>You look back up at Gustav, which is slowly rotating towards the east.
"Why are we using the big guns?"
>They're the only ones that can hit the target. Besides, all the other arty's turned north to Manehattan; we dunno what's goin' on up there at this point."
>You nod.
"How bad is it up there, Shining?"
>He huffs.
>"Bad."
"How... how's the Princess handling it...?"
>He shakes his head.
>"We pull this off, it might change hermood... but she's distraught."
>You really wish there was something you could do.
>But no... you had to go and get yourself shot with a crossbow bolt.
>Your thoughts are interrupted by a bright light in the sky.
>A bunch of "what the fuck"s go through the crowd as the light darkens into an image.
>"It's...
>...Boss?
>He's leaning against a mound of dirt, with a city behind his back, one massive building towering over all the others.
>A voice echoes in the air.
>"THOU MAY SPEAK NOW, DELTA'S... ALL THE REALM IS YOUR AUDIENCE."
>Damn it, Luna, ya gotta be so loud?
 
>Boss adjusts the skull mask on his face, and speaks just as you hear Rarity squealing somewhere in the crowd.
>"Good evening," he says.
>"In the words of the human band Megadeth... war... is a playground for the demented... a haven for those who walk this world, bereft of heart and soul. And indeed it is, as we've already seen... what, with the battle at Appeloosa, the air combat seen over the eastern coast, the attack on Manehattan... everything else."
>He pauses and adjusts his hat, which he was wearing forward, the Eagles emblem shimmering despite no moon to reflect.
>"Thing is... by all 'counts... war is pretty much a foreign concept to the peoples of Equestria, for the most part, so when this war came, our dear princesses' hands--or hooves, I guess--were forced, and they turned to a species they still haven't fully grasped."
>Boss sounds very astute.
>"You birds, you bulls and dogs... you merely... ADOPTED... the ways of violence. We humans... we were BORN IN IT."
>Anons begin laughing around you.
>"Baneposting in the sky!" someone shouts.
>"...MOLDED BY IT. And we have spent CENTURIES creating tools specifically to kill, and that's what everyone is going to see tonight."
>He adjusts his hat again.
>"To you Griffons... YOU started this war... plunged the whole of this realm into chaos. But now humanity is going to PUT YOU DOWN, and restore the peace!"
>You laugh as you hear Fritz's voice.
>"Alright, General Tullius, call the fuckin' fire mission."
>Everyone around you bursts into laughter.
>"Alright, whatever..."
>He puts a hand to his ear.
>"Rain man, this is Delta 1, requesting fire mission, over."
>You can hear his voice echoing in the nearby radio equipment.
>The radio op, right next to you, responds.
>"Rain man has you loud and clear, go ahead, over."
>"Grid, Delta-Juliet, two-one-niner-eight, four-niner-six-six..."
>Hey, he got dubs!" someone shouts.
"Check 'em!" someone else replies.
>That gets a lot of laughs as you listen to Boss.
>"...seven thousand mils... enemy shield-generator-palace-lookin'-thing in open. Fire for effect, over."
>Everyone freezes as the turntables holding the guns begin to move together, and the dozens of crewmen begin turning the guns upward.
>The radio op replies as you watch.
>"Grid, Delta-Juliet, two-one-niner-eight, four-niner-six-six, seven thousand mils. Enemy position in open, out."
>The turntables stop turning, and the men begin loading the rounds, shouting at each other as they do.
>"Message to observer: Fire control number Alpha Foxtrot one-zero-two-seven, Break. Two rounds, HE delay in effect, three guns."
>"Copy that, Rain Man," Boss replies.
>"Uhh... three anons died to get us that fire mission, Rain Man... make your shots count."
>"Roger that, Delta 1."
>Boss turns his face away from whatever's making him visible to you and watches the city, mumbling to Fritz and one of the Irish guys.
>You look back to the guns.
>The two K5's are ready as Gustav's barrel slowly begins to rise.
>Someone starts a slow clap.
>Gradually, more join in.
>But your eyes are fixed on the massive gun.
>People begin banging on things as the beat gets faster.
>It's like you're making some kind of sacrifice to some war god.
>As the gun finally stops moving, people begin whistling and shouting.
>You hear shouting from each of the guns.
>"Shot in five seconds," Rain Man says.
>Without warning, the two K5's fire, rendering you deaf and rattling your bones.
>That's probably good.
>Gustav manages to knock you out of your wheelchair.
>As you hit the ground, your vision is blurred, but your hearing slowly comes back.
>All you hear is thunderous crowd noise.
>You don't have time to react before the second volley goes.
>Gustav takes your face and slams it into the ground.
>Holy shit, they need to turn that thing down a few notches.
>Maybe Gustav needs some Prozac.
>Twilight uses her magic to help you up and back into your chair as she leaps out of the marine's arms.
>"Oh my goodness, Nugget, are you okay?!"
"Y--... y-yea..."
>"Shot over!" Rain Man calls.
>"Shot out," Boss replies. "You guys sound like you're having fun."
>"We sure are!"
>Boss shakes his head and continues to watch the city.
>A few moments go by before you can hear the shells splitting the air.
>The first two explosions are big, to say the least.
>The third... fucking huge.
>"Whooooooo! Hell yea, bitches!"
>Boss begins laughing hysterically with the guys as the second round roars in, completely obliteratiing the daunting palace and a bunch of other points.
>"Splash over! HOLY SHIT!"
>"Splash out, Delta."
>The whole crowd--the whole BASE, probably--is roaring with excitement.
>You smirk and nod.
>See, Applejack?
>You told her you'd get 'em.
>Boss turns around after he calms down.
>"Let THAT... serve as a public service announcement to ALL the enemies of Equestria. We can reach out and touch you, REGARDLESS... of where you are. You brought this on yourselves. You wanted a war?... YOU GOT A WAR!"
>The base roars with approval again as Boss' masked face disappears from the sky.
>A song begins to break out.
>You can't help but smile as you hear the words, sung to the tune of O My Darling Clementine.
>"No one likes us, no one likes us!"
>No one LIKES us we don't care!
>We're from 4Chan, fuckin' 4chan,
>"No one likes us, we don't care!"
>You Jump in, and for a few moments, everything around you seems to not fucking matter
"No one likes us, no one likes us!
No one LIIIIIIIIIKES us, we don't care!
We're from 4chan, FUCKIN' 4chan,
No one likes us, we don't care!"
 
 
>"WAR IS A PLAYGROUND!"
>That's what the headline is on the front page of the Canterlot Daily.
>Underneath is the caption: "Humanity Makes Mighty Show Of Force!"
>The big image of Gustav firing into the night plasters nearly half the page underneath that.
>You didn't even notice any news ponies.
>Maybe because you were too busy getting knocked out of your fucking wheelchair.
>As your ears fixate to a pair of helicopters roaring over the building, your eyes move back up to Shining Armor.
>"Cool, huh?"
"I guess."
>You toss the paper onto the table next to you and sit up in the bed.
"They back yet?"
>"On their way... the chopper guys report they almost got blown up on the way in, though."
"Lightning?"
>"Yea... those birds are getting crafty."
"How have they been reacting over the past few hours?"
>"They're scared outta their wits!" he laughs. "Heck, I would be, too, after something like that!"
>You suppose that's true.
"So... what happens when they get back?"
>Shining smiles.
>"You lucky guys are getting some leave time... my sister and her friends are begging the brass to let you off a little."
>That's very sweet of them.
"Sounds good."
 
 
>Something is off when your three squadmates file in to see you.
>"What's up," Boss says as you bump fists.
"Yoo," you reply.
>Maple gives you a nod.
>Fritz... he looks frantic.
"Something... the matter?"
>Fritz looks down at you for a moment, then goes back to his frantic darting eye thing, before finally grunting and punching a hole in the wall.
>"Calm down, man, c'mon," Maple requests.
>"DON'T... don't tell me to calm down..."
>"Look, Nugg, y'know that letter from Trixie he had?" Boss asks.
"Yea... did he read it?"
>"Yea, and she mentioned that she would be in Manehattan for about a week doing a series of shows... and we remembered what happened up there."
>Oh shit.
"Is she okay?"
>"That's the thing... no one's heard from her.
>FUCK.
>Fritz whimpers, then puts another hole in the wall.
>"Dude, calm down!"
>"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!"
"Fritz, I'm sure she's fine," you say calmly.
>He looks down to you, tears welling in his eyes.
"She downed an Ursa Major, remember? I'm sure she can handle a few fuckin' birds."
>He can't hold back a shaky laugh.
>"Th-That... that was pretty good, actually."
>Meanwhile, Boss sits down in the chair and slumps over.
>"So we're trying to figure out what to do... I'm saying we just take our few days' leave and figure shit out when we have clear heads.
>What's the point of Fritz going on leave if Trixie's not there?
"Yea... might be the only option we have right now. Besides, I wouldn't be of much use."
>Boss nods, looking down at the floor.
>He lets out a deep breath and sits back up.
>"Yea... that's true... We can't do this with only three guys, no one's known what's been going on up there since they attacked. All comms were cut off. We wouldn't know if they all just up and left, even."
>Hard to know what to do when you don't know what's going on.
"Shit."
>"So..." Maple finally says, "maybe we should just take the leave and think of something when our minds are away from the mission."
>"What's the FUCKIN' mission got to do with it?" Fritz asks, on the verge of a mental breakdown.
"Well, fuck, I mean you guys saw three men die... shit, we've seen four men die in the past, what, week-and-a-half?"
>They all look at each other, nod in agrement, then back to you.
"Seriously, how we're not all fucked in the head at this point is beyond me."
>"Yea," Boss agrees.
"So I go with the Canuck; we get away for the few days, then think of something."
 
 
>You happen to fall asleep on the train ride to Canterlot.
 
 
>"Anon... hello."
>You find yourself in a blank space.
>Princess Celestia, in all her godly beauty, stands before you, a smile on her face.
"Uhh... hi."
>She giggles.
>"I'm sorry, Anon... I don't mean to startle or confuse you, but... you've managed to catch my attention."
>How?
>By nearly getting yourself killed?
>Or is this some sympathy ploy because her war's put you in a wheelchair?
"Really?"
>"Yes... you and the rest of your team."
>Oh.
>That's why.
>"Walk with me, Anon."
"Okay..."
>You begin a steady stroll with the Princess through the blank space.
>"I'm curious, Anon... how have the...four... of you, managed to gel so well, having known each other for such a small amount of time?"
>Her eyes.
>God dman it.
>You can barley answer the question.
"I, uh... I don't know, honeslty..."
>Maybe if you try to make her chuckle?
"I mean... when Boss first showed up, he told us he had no idea how you could possible select HIM to be squad leader, but... well, he's been a damn good one so far."
>She smiles.
>"He is... isn't he?"
"Yea... always seems to know what we should do, whether he knows it or not."
>She chuckles.
>YUS.
>"How are you feeling, Anon? I know you were injured..."
"Yea... Well, I could be worse. Could be dead."
>"Isn't it honorable for humans to die in battle? though you;d be upset you didn't..."
"Uhh... Well, I mean, we like to say that, but we'd all prefer to stay alive, especially in Equestria..."
>"I see," she says with a nod as she studies your face.
>"Is... is something wrong, Anon?"
>Trixie.
"Well..."
>You sigh.
"My squadmate, Fritz? He's a great admirer of Trixie's, and..."
>"The Great and Powerful?"
"Yea, and the two of them have had correspondence whil we've been off fighting, and she mentioned she would be doing a series of shows in Manehattan..."
>Here expression becomes somber as she nods.
>"And you haven't heard from her?"
"No..."
>If you don't ask now, you won't get another chance.
"Is there any way you could try to find out where she is? If you did, we'd be more than willing to go up and... rescue her, I guess."
>She stops walking and closes her eyes.
>"The fog of war is thick, Anon... and... I don't know if I coud sanction such a mission, for the sake of ONE pony..."
"You kiddin'? Human governments do unsanctioned missions all the time."
>She reopens her eyes.
>"Do they?..."
>You can see the gears turning in her head.
>"I... I will see what I can do for you, Anon..."
"Thanks."
 
>You are woken up by a combination of the shrill whistle on the pony locomotives and a shake on the shoulder.
>"Get up, faggot," Boss says, carrying Rarity in his other arm.
>"What does that mean, dear? Faggot."
>"Well," he says with a chuckle as he moves towards the doorway, "where we come from, it means a lot of things."
>Man, fuck this chair.
>You grab the seat in front of you and pull yourself out.
>Good GOD, your stomach hurts.
>But it's not like you can't walk.
>You ignore the intense pain and walk yourself off the train, to Twilight's surprise.
>"You sure you're okay?"
>"Ah, he's a tough guy, he can do it," Dash replies for you.
 
>While Twily and the other four disappear to do other stuff, Rarity insist on staying with you guys.
>You all decide to get food at a lovely little cafe that Rarity claims to frequent when she's up her on business.
>As you eat your lovely little piece of cake under a tree with pink leaves, you can't help but note the lack of interest you're getting.
>The sight of humans milling about must be a normality up here now.
>Boss stops talking to Rarity when he sees some familiar faces.
>"MARINES!"
>You look out towards the street at a familiar group of four guys, who all freeze and look over to you, then come over and join you.
>"What the fuck are you assholes, doin' up here?" Boss asks.
>"It's quite the story, actually," Animal, their sergeant, replies as he fist-bumps you and your squad.
>"Umm... c-could I give you a hug?" he asks Rarity, making you all chuckle.
>"Of course, dear!" Rarity replies, reaching up and hugging Animal's neck.
>As she comes back down, the other Marines--Foley, Mick and Buzz--pull up some wrought iron chairs and all sit down.
>"Ya don't mind if we join you, do ya?"
>"Not at all," Boss replies. "So what's this story?"
>"Well, a few days ago when we all got new orders, the boys and I were sent up to the northern border to help shore up defenses, so we were up the by the time you, Alpha and Rover were jumping off into LaLa Land--I heard you got fucked up, you okay?"
>He points to you.
>You shrug.
"Could be worse."
>"Cool. Anyway, so we're up there with /mlk/, and we're not doing too much, and of course we don't know that it's because they're attacking Manehattan, so when we get that news, we immediately get orders to go there."
>You nod, watching as his eyes glance between all of you, keeping you all engaged.
>"So we end up getting ordered to find this ONE noguns anon..."
>Maple and Boss chuckle.
>"Oh God..." Boss says, shaking his head.
>"Yea, on order of his commanding pony officer, we gotta go in and find him, and we're going around from one part of the city to the next, freeing civvies from these, like, impromptu griffon rape camps until we find this poor bastard getting electrocuted by a fucking MAGE."
"Jesus..."
>Fritz lowers his head.
>"Yea, right? So we go to pull her off him, I get zapped, FOLEY gets zapped, and we just end up pounding her face in with our fuckin' guns until she stops trying to zap us."
"Was the guy okay?"
>"Not when we found him; he was fuckin' /out/," he replies, slicing his hand across his neck to emphasize the last word.
>"Of course we had to shoot our way in AND out," Foley adds.
>"Oh, yea, every single one of these places, we had to."
>"Is... is the anon okay?" Rarity asks.
>"Oh, he's okay now, yea. I was just up there, thy have him in one of the little hospital rooms in barracks city; he's was up 'n walkin' around. He's the reason we're here. 'Parently he's got some clout with one o' the princesses or some shit, and he put in a good word for us. Got us a few days' leave."
>"That's clutch," Fritz remarks, marking the first thing he's said since he got off the train.
>"Oh yea, he just did it, we never said anything to him. So we were just up there, gave him a case of beer as thanks."
>"Wasn't Horsteiner, was it?" Maple asks to a round of laughs as Rarity makes a disgusted face.
>You finish the last bit of your tiny piece of cake as you chuckle.
 
>The now-nine of you stroll down one of the many ornate streets of Canterlot, giving reverent nods to some of the ponies who greet you with a similar respectfulness.
>At least they get how dangerous the shit you're doing is.
>You come across a balcony that looks down over another street.
>Down below you see a human surrounded by fascinated ponies.
 
>He's wearing a fedora, trench coat and slacks, and seemingly regaling his audience with the inner-workings of the Thompson submachine gun.
 
>You all chuckle as you look down at him.
>"Look at this faggot," Animal says quietly.
>"What's with the fedora, seriously?" Buzz agrees.
>You nod in agreement.
>This guy looks every bit as autistic as any of the Alpha guys.
>"Ew... fuckin' cigarettes," Boss mumbles.
>You look further down the street and notice another human.
>He looks like he's been through hell.
>Like he's survived a few attempts of execution via electrocution.
"Animal."
>"Yea?"
>You point to the guy, who is leaning against a wall, looking on the trenchcoatfag with a noticeable amount of disdain.
"That the guy?"
>Animal looks back at him.
>"Yea, yea it is..."
>Boss is still looking down at the gangster faggot.
>"Think our Spartan man needs a laugh?"
>"Yea... what're you gonna..."
>"Stand back, Marines."
>You all take a step back.
>Boss points to the Spartan anon, then points to his own ears in warning.
>He then pulls out his revolver and lets two fly.
 
BADANG BADANG
 
>The trench coat faggot shrieks like a girl, ditches his gun and drops the the cobblestone.
>As you hold back laughter, you look back to the spartanon, who is struggling to keep himself against the wall, he's laughing so hard.
>You go back to the wall with Rarity and look down at the faggot, who's now being barraged with laughter from everypony around him.
>He scrambles back to his feet and looks up at you.
>"Who the FUCK do you think you are?!"
>"DELTA SQUAD, MOTHERFUCKER!" Boss roars down at him.
>You all laugh as you walk away from the ledge.
>"That wasn't very nice, darling!" Rarity protests through her laughs.
>"He fuckin' deserved it," Animal assures her.
 
>Yea.
 
>He probably did.
 
 
>Not long after this balcony pop, the Marines split off and go to find more beer.
>And not long after THAT, Rarity drags Boss off to do some shopping or some shit.
>So that just leaves you, Maple and a depressed-as-fuck Fritz.
>You stroll around, seemingly aimless through the streets of Canterlot.
>"Don't worry, man; I'm sure the Marines found her when they were raiding those 'rape camps' or some shit."
>"They would have MENTIONED it if they did; it's fucking TRIXIE, dude."
"Maybe they didn't notice her... y'know, since they shot their way into AND out of every single one, like Foley said."
>He sighs, and goes to say something else.
 
>"CORPORAL FRITZ!"
 
>You all freeze.
>The first thought to pop through your mind wonders if you, Fritz and Maple ARE corporals.
>THEN you realize whose voice it was.
>You and Maple slowly turn to Fritz, who's fighting back a tear.
>Got, he's autistic-level in love with this horse, isn't he?
>The three of you turn around in unison.
 
>She stands before the three of you, peering at you down her nose, dressed in what can only be an SS officer's uniform.
>"Trixie DEMANDS that you salute y--hey! PUT ME DOWN!"
>"Nope."
>You and Maple begin laughing as Trixie groans.
>"You ruined a great moment and now Trixie is upset," she complains.
>"Oh well."
>Trixie sighs and cuddles into him.
>"Trixie supposes she can forgive you."
>"Thought so."
>Fritz looks to you.
>He's smiling for the first time since he got off the train.
>He's also successfully fought back the tears.
"I told you she was okay."
>"Yes, Trixie is fine, thanks to one very brave human...they call him Hoplite."
"I TOLD you the Marines fuckin' had her. You didn't believe me, faggot!"
>"Trixie, why didn't you write?" Fritz asks, rocking her back and forth and staring into space like a baby with his blankie.
>"Trixie... was under much duress. She was... scared... and confused... and..."
>"Well, it doesn't matter now."
 
>Of course, those two ran off galavanting and causing eight kinds of trouble.
>Which just leaves you and Maple, wandering around aimlessly.
>To kill the boredom, you ask him the same question you asked the other two.
"So Maple... I mean, why Sonata?"
>He chuckles.
>"She's my sister's favorite."
"Sister?"
>"Yea... my little sister. I watch the show with her... that's how I got into it in the first place."
"How old is she?"
>"Eight."
>He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wallet.
>From it, he pulls out a small picture, featuring himself and a little grill.
>She's adorable, her arms wrapped around his neck with a big grin on her face.
"So... Sonata's HER favorite... who's your's?"
>He smirks.
>"Twilight. But that doesn't matter."
"You two live together?"
>"Well after I moved out for the army, she lived with our parents, until they got divorced...then she went to live with our cousin. I promised her once I got out of the army, she could move in with me."
"How close we--are you? To getting out, I mean?"
>He chuckles.
>"Two months."
>He smiles as he looks down on his sister's beaming face.
>"Once we're done here, I'd... I'ma try to see if I can bring her here."
"You wanna live here? Just fuckin' leave everything and stay here? Wouldn't your parents...?"
>"They wouldn't give a fuck, trust me."
>He puts the picture back in his wallet.
>Great.
>Now you're gonna feel like shit if he dies, too.
>All these guys have some kind of feels story attached to them and here you are, just not giving a fuck about it.
>You see your princess once in a while, and you're cool enough with it.
>The rest of the squad wants to stay here forever.
>And if you're not careful... you might.
 
>The two of you decide to get a head-start on the others in terms of drinking.
>You stumble into the Bannered Mare again, and find yourselves in the company of your Marine friends, among many other anons.
>Including the mafia faggot Boss balcony-popped earlier.
 
>After a few hours, and nursing two or three beers, Boss and Fritz arrive to a round of cheers.
>"Lemme get their beers, Steedy," Animal requests to the bar-pony.
>"No problem, bud!"
>He looks to your squad mates, who already looked a little half-crocked.
>"Two Ponigs?"
>"Oh yea," Boss slurred-ly replies, confirming your suspicions.
 
>A few hours and many beers later, something amazing happens.
 
>"Y'knowut?" Animal says, "why the fuck haven't we fuckin' PONIFIED anything here yet?"
>"This is PONY LAND, everything's ALREADY PONIFIED," Boss replies to a round of laughs.
>"Nononononononononono, I mean, like... some of OURS...like, a scene fro a war movie."
>"...or a show," Buzz adds. "Hell, we all seen Generation Kill, right?"
>Almost everyone in the bar agrees in some way.
>"Shit, let's fuckin' PONIFY a conversation!" Boss says.
>"You go first man!" Animal replies.
>Boss looks to the three ofyou, then back to Animal.
>"How the BUCK did you find us, Animal?"
>Everyone, knowing the conversation in question, begins to laugh.
>"I... came up, with DELTA," Animal responds.
>A flood of laughs and "oooooh"s arise from the bar.
>"Shoot, the Buckin' reservists, man?" Buzz says.
>"Right, you're not gonna believe it, it has been, MADNESS, since day one!"
>"What happened to yer kushy liaison gig out in Cloudsdale?" Foley adds.
>"Yea, rockin' the Buckin' sidepipe with tme Air Corps hotties!" Fritz says with a wink, cracking the bar up.
>"Buck that," Animal says, "I ain't seena warsince Ung'la, I had t' get some. But I seriously wouldn't have jumped ship, if it meant rollin' with DELTA."
>More laughs
>"Why not?" some anon asks. "Clusterbuck?"
>"They're off the hoof!" Animal replies, to more laughs.
>"Dude, they don't got any GEAR! 'R food! They were pullin' escort duty..."
"Just to eat!" you and half the bar says with Animal, causing more laughs.
>"An' then they got to rollin' inna these hamlets, doin' these shows of force, y'know, cow-pony shi--stuff, for fun..."
>You all laugh at his near slip-up.
>"An' there was this one time, I swear to C'lestia, they thought it would be FUNNY, to give these lil' fillies, like, porn mags!"
>Everybody laughs again.
>This is a lot funnier for the most drunk.
>"RUSTLERS, 'n Playpony's 'n shit, show the lil' haji's what we're fightin' for!"
>He continues as you all calm yourselves.
>"THis old Saddle 'Rabian, comes STORMIN' out, starts SCREAMIN' at our interpreter, about how we're BUCKIN' up their morals, or some dumb stuff, right? A-and he's super buckin' pissed, the old stallion's got an MPG!"
>Another round of "ooooooh"s arise.
"Wait, the fuck's an MPG?"
>"Magic Propelled Grenade, faggot, what else?" Boss snipes.
>You can't help but laugh.
>"Delta BUCKIN' freaks. They lob like 26 Mark Nineteen rounds, they BUCK up the whole hamlet."
>"Buck!"
"Minotaur buckin'... sugar."
>The whole bar falls over laughing.
>It was the best thing you could think of.
>Animal quickly regains himself and points to you, his finger whirling about because of his drunkenness.
>"Ollie Horse filmed the whol buckin' thing."
"THE Oliver Horse!"
>"OLIVER BUCKIN' HORSE, ws STANDIN' there with a CAMERA CREW, from... from PLOTS!"
>Everybody falls over again.
>"Filmin' the WHOLE buckin' thing like it was the turning point of the buckin' war! These Delta BUCKS, are like, LPPD cops, and... MEA agents..."
>Magic Enforcement Agency?
>"...and Buckin'... buckin'..."
>"CARE MARSHALS!" the mobster fag blurts out.
>You literally fall out of your stool laughing.
>Your head hits the floor.
>God damn, that hurts.
>Boss has to pull you up.
>Sounds like an elite unit of hospice nurses.
>"...And they're led, by this, Naponeon douche, who's like, a CORPORAL, or somthin', in the Appeloosa PD, I swear to CELESTIA..."
>The whole bar joins in.
"This Mother-BUCKER, has got CATTLE HORNS, on his Humvee!"
>Once again, the whole bar breaks into hysterics.
 
>For a solid three or four minutes.
 
>Boss is the first to regain his composure.
>"This is just so... colossally autistic, I can't even say anything about it," he says to Animal.
>"Godmother knows... She's been duckin' us on the comms the past couple weeks..."
>You butt in.
"But they're here now, Flash..."
>"Oh god!" someone says as more laughs creep up.
"...and they're rollin' with you."
>As you say the last line, everybody laughs again, and some anons clap and whistle.
 
>Yea, that was pretty fuckin' cool.
 
>Boss stumbles over to the piano that has been sitting in the corner.
>It's old, dusty and probably hasn't been used recently.
>Everybody has a laugh when he tries to sit down and misses the bench, and Animal stumbles over to help him back up.
>"Everybody shut up... sh-shut up and sing!"
 
>He plays a chord before going into a familiar tune, which you and the rest of the anons begin to drunkenly sing.
 
"No one likes us, no one likes us!
No one LIIIIIIKES us we don't care!
We're from 4Chan, FUCKIN' 4Chan.
No one likes us, we don't care!"
 
 
>The only thing you remember beyond that is a visit from the Princess in your dreams, apologizing for not being able to inform you of Trixie's safe return.
"Don't apologize to me," you had replied, "Tell that to Fritz; poor bastard was frantic."
 
>The next two days go by in a similar, drunken blur.
>These damn Marines dragged you and Delta out literally every afternoon to get wasted.
>Trixie and Fritz drank a lot of beer, and Trixie tried to teach Fritz a magic trick, which ended in somepony's awning getting lit on fire.
>Boss even got Rarity to do a few shots with him and Animal.
>She's a bit of a lightweight, as you sort-of expected.
>Boss had to carry her back to the room.
>The room where it all began.
>You're a little surprised at how no one else was moved in here.
>Also, Flutterfag's gear was still in the locker.
>Before Boss passed out on the last night, Rarity in his arms, he gave a somber order.
>"Grab this shit when we leave tomorrow... we need it more 'n he does."
 
 
"Holy shit..."
 
>Manehattan is a fucking mess.
>Columns of smoke plume up from every other block, blackening the sky overhead as you look on from the staging point on the mainland.
>The fire glistens in the light of the setting sun, which bounces off the few windows left in the buildings.
>"'Hattan's not burnin', it's burnt," Boss agrees.
>It truly is a pathetic sight.
>"Trixie survived THAT?" Fritz asks as he walks up with Maple. "Holy Christ."
>"What's the word?" Boss asks.
>"We're ready to go, but we can't use your truck... gonna have to hitch a ride."
>You look back at Boss' blue Durango.
>"Fine."
>Boss looks around to see a convoy of vehicles heading north towards the southern tunnel.
>"Let's go."
>The four of you run over to the moving group and manage to flag down an M-60 Patton.
>"You guys heading into downtown?" Boss asks as an anon pops his head out from the top of the turret.
>"Yea!"
>"Can we get a lift?"
>"Yea, sure, climb up!"
>The Marines and /mlk/ used the stoppage of traffic to score their own rides in.
>You climb up and sit on the main hull, your feet dangling off the side as the beast begins to move again.
 
 
>You hear loudspeakers blaring something from the city.
>"...ENERAL QUARTERS, ALL GRIFFONS TO BATTLE, THE HUMANS MUST NOT TAKE THE CITY, I REPEAT..."
>As you emerge from the tunnel, a truck two or three back, loaded with a bank of speakers, begins playing some AC/DC. likely in an attempt to drown out the loudspeakers Fallujah-style.
>Hells Bells, to be exact.
>You all immediately begin to hear gunfire up ahead, and a tank anon pops out next to you and pulls the bolt on the .50 machine gun, pointing the turret up.
>"Watch the skies, boys!" An anon shouts over comms. "They're coming down on us up here!"
>You look back down at you new toy, a Mossberg 464 SPX lever action in 30-30.
>Complete with an honest-to-god ACOG sight.
>You found it in Flutterguy's locker.
>"Was that Flutterfag's?" Fritz asks, sporting an STG in his arms, the signature MG34 on his back.
"Yea, it was."
>"What a goddamn fudd!"
>"CONTACT! CONTACT!" Someone shouts over the radio.
>You look up to see a group of talons swooping down at you.
>First instinct tells you to jump off the tank as the guy on the coax opens fire.
>Its roar is jaw-rattling, even on the ground.
>You take aim at a catbird and put out two rounds.
PANG
Cha-Chak
PANG
>That does it.
>You finally move out from under the raining cartridges of the roaring coax above, its blistering hot shells burning the back of your neck and shoulder.
>As another bird lands in front of you, taking aim with a crossbow, you beat her to the trigger.
PANG
>Right in the face.
>You cock the lever again as Boss joins you.
>"Boys up ahead are reporting birds with some kind of flintlock weapons, keep on your shit, Delta!"
>A foreign voice calls over comms.
>It is female, sounding a bit on the mature side.
>"Delta Squad, this is Godmother, are you receiving?"
>"Go for Delta, Godmother!"
>"Delta, I need you to divert northwest once you reach the five-points. You will be performing search and rescue missions on a number of suspected holding points where pony civilians are still being held against their will."
>"Roger that!"
>Boss opens up with his East German SKS as another bird comes down, killing the beast.
>Your ears are barraged with nothing but gunfire and AC/DC.
>You note the distinct, screaming 'whoosh' of a bullet flying past your head.
>From up ahead.
>A catbird lands in front of the two of you, sporting armor and armed with what looks to be some primitive flintlock pistol.
>You and Boss both open fire as he zips behind a wall, then pops out and fires a shot back.
>You instinctively duck, and Boss puts two more towards the wall.
>Fritz runs in from your side and hoses down the fucker with a spray of rounds.
>Maple hops up behind you.
>As the four of you move up the street and pass they alley where the dead catbird lays, you're tempted to stop and examine his weapon.
>But you need to move on.
 
>All the way up the street, you're shooting into the air at catbirds that buzz about you.
>They're seemingly everywhere.
>And as you listen to the comms chatter from a truck you're following up the avenue, you get a feel of the fierce fighting the most forward boys are experiencing.
>"Contact right! Contact right!"
>"Cowboy, we're cornered at the intersection of 5th and Vine, request gunship!"
>"Man down! MAN DOWN!"
 
>Your part of the convoy reaches the five-points, and Boss points down the one going up and to the left.
>"Godmother, we've reached the five-points, diverting northwest now."
>"Copy that, Delta. You're going to go up a few blocks to find the first suspected location. It's a smaller, blue building on the left side of the street."
>"Roger."
 
>An eerie feeling creeps up on you as the music begins to fade into the distance, and is slowly replaced only by the thumps, kanks and tatata's of various gunfire.
>"Delta 1, this is Voodoo 6, we are on station and ready to receive hostages. Just say the word, over."
>"Roger that, Voodoo 6."
"Eyes up, boys..." you say.
>"Roger," Fritz mumbles.
>Boss, ignoring you, looks around.
>Dead ponies and birds--and the odd anon--lay about in the street, among smoldering fires and dusty rubble.
>The only thing you could equate this to is what downtown New York looked like after the twin towers came down.
>"What the fuck did they do here?" Boss asks.
>"Way too much," Maple replies.
>"This is fuckin' sickening... like really, what the hell did these little pastel-colored horses do to deserve this kind of shit?"
"I dunno, man."
>"What did the Navy do to deserve getting attacked at Pearl Harbor?"
>"True shit."
>You consider the point as you step over a dead mare and what you assume is hr colt.
>That one in particular hits you.
>They're really killing kids?
>Christ...
>Something moves in you peripheral and you immediately turn and raise the 464, peering about in the scope.
"Movement to my left."
>All three of your mates snap left.
>"Wait!... W-Wait, please... don't hurt me..."
>A unicorn slowly pokes her head out from behind a large piece of fallen debris.
>She looks at you with big, pink, pleading eyes.
>Her light-colored is dusty and her brown mane is matted in some spots.
>You and Boss are the first to lower your weapons, then Maple and Fritz.
>"I... I've never seen a human before..." She says softly.
>"Well, ya seen four of them," Fritz says with a smile, hoping to cheer her up, maybe.
>She's shaking as she comes out from behind the rubble.
>"Are--are you here to rescue us?"
>"We're taking back the city right now," Boss tells her.
>She offers a weak smile.
>"That must be why the griffons got so upset before I escaped... t-they were shouting at each other, and got even meaner towards us..."
"Where do they have you?"
>"A f-few blocks up... up there."
>She points with a hoof, and you think you can see the building.
>"Alright, let's move," Boss says.
>"Wait..."
>You all look back to the unicorn.
>"M-My friend is in there... I-I want to help..."
>You all look at each other.
>"Please... if there's anything I can do..."
 
>Idea.
 
>You pull your trench knife from the waistband of your pants and reach it out to her.
"You think you can handle this?"
>She uses her magic to float it in front of her as she looks it over.
>She begins to swing it around.
>"Yes, I think I can."
>Boss gives you a look.
>"You sure, man?"
"She'll be alright as long as we keep an eye on her."
>Maple gives her a disapproving look.
>"And now we're using civvies as cannon fodder?"
>Boss nods, now having someone who agrees with him.
>"Whoa!" He says as the mare swings your knife just a little too close for comfort.
>He grabs it from the air and hands it back to you.
>"Yea, this isn't happening."
>"B-But... I'm sorry, sir, just--"
>"Look how 'bout this? You REALLY wanna help?"
>She nods.
>"Then here's what you can do. We're gonna go into this building, do what we do best and then come back out with the other ponies. While we're in there, you stay outside and give us a holler if you see more catbirds show up. Okay?"
>"O-Okay."
"Probably a better idea, yea."
>"Alright, let's move."
 
>The five of you make your way down the street, heads on a swivel.
>Every gunshot, every explosion, every sound is a reason to tense up.
>As the few street lamps still working come on, you all freeze and look at each other.
>A moment passes.
>Then another.
>"Move out."
>You cross another intersection and continue, pointing your rifle down either way to ensure they wouldn't try to pinch you.
>"Here..." the mare whispers almost making you shit yourself at its suddenness. "They had us in here..
>Standing before you is the building Godmother described.
>You take the moment to reload your rifle.
>"Where exactly did they hold you?" Boss whispers.
>"The second floor."
>He looks to Fritz.
>"You and Nugget take the second floor. Maple, you and I sweep the first floor, just in case."
>"Got it."
>"Be careful, please..." the mare insists.
>"We will, miss...?"
>"Lilly..."
>Boss nods.
>The four of you leave Lilly and Boss kicks in the front door, immediately causing a commotion.
"Subtle, Boss!"
>Fritz takes point and Boss follows him up the stairs.
>Maple gets you back as you move from room to room on the first floor, finding nothing until the kitchen, where you catch a bird standing over a young pony.
>inb4 >rape
>Though that's probably exactly what's about to happen.
PANG
cha-ch
PANG
>That did it.
>And just as you do so, you hear an insane amount of gunfire coming from upstairs.
>The boys are going to work.
>As for you, the young mare you've just rescued leaps up and hugs your leg, crying.
>"T-Thank you... s-s-so m-much..."
"Yea, you're welcome, now GET OUTSIDE."
>"O-Okay!"
>She bolts.
>You and Maple rush back to the front of the building, then up the stairs.
>"Arrrgh!"
>Fritz comes crashing onto the landing and a talon jumps through the doorway.
>You begin to raise your rifle, but Boss jumps out behind the talon and puts three in his back.
>"Voodoo 6, this is Delta 1. Hostages secure, request evac at my position!"
>Roger that, Delta 1, over."
>A gelatinous mass of scared ponies of all stripes make their way down the stairs.
>You decide it's a good idea to get out of the way, and you and Maple rush back down the the foot of the staircase as they close in like a horde from the steppes.
>"Everybody stay CALM, keep in an orderly fashion," Fritz says sternly.
>Like a Nazi.
>"C'mon, let's go," Boss says as he meets you at the bottom of the stairs.
>As you return outside, Lilly and the mare you rescued stand quietly, having reported nothing.
>But of course, you keep your shit on a swivel as you look around, nothing making itself known in the near-darkness.
>The sounds of war echo all around you.
>Chopper blades pierce the soundscape.
>"This is Voodoo 6; I am right on top of you."
>A CH-47 roars in and begins to hover as scared ponies scatter about.
>"Everypony, STAY TOGETHER!" Lilly yells, getting most of their attention.
>"STAY TOGETHER and we'll be okay!"
>The brute of a chopper uses the wide street to its advantage as it touches down, and the door swings down, another anon beckoning the ponies on board.
>Poor bastard almost gets trampled as he's knocked over, and you can't help but laugh as he sits back up and immediately gives you guys a thumbs up.
>Lilly looks to you as she hops on the chopper.
>"Thank You!... I'll never forget you!"
>You nod, Maple gives a little wave.
>Boss is too busy getting in touch with Godmother to notice.
>"Godmother, this is Delta 1. Location secure, civvies are evac'd How copy, over!"
>"Solid copy, Delta. Good work."
>"So what's next?"
>The massive chopper lifts off and zips away.
>"There's another location north of you. It's a long way up, and seems to be better reinforced. Your allies, the Screaming Eagles, will be assisting you here."
>"Roger."
>He re-keys his headset, causing a *beep* in your ear.
>"Riley, it's Boss, how copy?"
>"Solid, Boss!"
>You didn't know Eagle lead's nickname until right now.
>He sounds like he's in a bit of a tussle, or at least in the middle of a firefight.
>"We're makin' our way west, but we're havin' a spot o' trouble gettin' away from 'ese fuckin' birds! Will advise on progress!"
>"Roger that, we're moving north now!"
>He looks to you and nods.
>"Lights on, boys."
>You pull you NVGs up from around your neck and activate them, illuminating the darkened area around you.
>"Let's move," Boss says as he does the same, and the four of you continue down the street.
>You move at a light jog, as you all figure time is of the essence here.
>As you reach the next intersection and take the slight right to point you north, the Eagles give you an update.
>The background is still flooded with gunfire.
>"Delta! We're breakin' away over here, but they're chasin' us! Move up to the corner of 14th and Daisy an' we can down 'em together! How copy?"
>"Roger that, Eagles, hang in there, over!"
>He looks back to you guys.
>"C'mon!"
>The four of you up the pace significantly, almost to a full run.
>"Keep your eyes up!" Fritz reminds as you hop over more debris.
>You take a quick glance up, and just as you do so, you're tackled from an alley by a shrieking talon.
>"I'll rip your throat ou--Aggh!"
>You dig your trench knife deep into her neck, the wrench it before pulling it out and pushing her off you.
>As you pick up your gun, Fritz dispatches the gurgling griffon with two rounds from his Sturmgewehr.
>"Still got it, Nugget," he laughs.
>"Good melee kill," Maple agrees.
>"Let's keep moving," Boss interjects.
 
>You reach the next intersection, which crosses diagonally.
>Now you can hear the gunfire from your British comrades, and it spurs the squad on.
>The four of you cross the street and bolt down to the next intersection.
>"Eagles, Delta! We're at the intersection."
>"Roger that! Give us a hand, yea?"
"Let's hit 'em."
>The four of you run out into the middle of the intersection, pick a few targets and open fire.
PANG
>There's one.
>You pick another.
cha-ch
PANG
cha-ch
PANG
>"Thank fuck fo' you guys!"
>Riley and his balaclava-wearing squad turn around as they reach you and begin gunning down the catbirds that have been pursuing them since they diverted away from the main attack group.
>Their wall of fire gives you time to reload.
PANG
>As you down one more, the two or three left fuck off in various directions.
>Riley sighs loudly.
>"Thank FUCK for you, Boss."
>The two shake hands as you greet your English allies.
>"What's the situation?" Boss asks.
>"Like Godmother said, there's more hostages and more enemies. They've got 'em split inna two groups, one on the fifth floor, one on the eighth."
"How big is this building?"
>"Bloody big."
>Wonderful.
>"We still heading north?"
>"We are. Let's go!"
 
>The eight of you make your way up 14th St., the flashes of gunfire and explosion dotting the skyline to your east.
>The tanks must be ripping a new one in the heart of the city.
 
>As you make your way north, you're still popping the odd bird or two.
>The rubble and dead ponies only get worse as you make your way north.
>Makes sense, considering they're concentrated up north.
>Thus, as you continue, you encounter more odd enemies.
>As you pop another, everyone stops and looks up at one building.
>You turn and look to see a group of ponies, hanging by their necks at around the fourth floor.
>They swing slowly, shaking with some of the bigger explosions.
>"Must be the place," Boss remarks.
"Good God..."
>It's like a train wreck.
>You can't help but watch as the bodies sway slightly, and it mesmerizes you like the swinging pocket watch of a hypnotist.
>You can't help but think of the mares' last moments.
>Crying as the rope is put around their necks.
>Screaming and begging for mercy.
>Desperately trying to free themselves before they were finally dropped out of the window.
>And the damned griffons probably laughed.
 
>It makes you angry.
 
>And as you look to the faces of your fellow operators, it's clear that they're angry, too.
 
>"They didn't deserve that," one of the Eagles remarks.
>He sounds a lot like Jango Fett.
>"No, they didn't," Riley agrees.
>He looks to Boss.
>"So how do we make it right?"
>Boss takes a moment to think, a moment punctuated by a massive explosion and the sound of a propeller plane roaring overhead.
>"Two teams of three, one to the fifth floor..."
>He looks back up.
>"...the other to the eighth."
"I'll go up there," you blurt out.
>Boss looks to you, and gives a slow, understanding nod.
>"You'll go with Cody and Fritz."
>You nod.
>"Riley; you, me and Slick. Maple, you and Lucky stay out here."
>"Right," the Eagle in question replies as Maple nods.
>You look back up at the mares.
>They're all very beautiful, despite being made into macabre decorations.
>"Move out, boys," Riley says, interrupting your thoughts.
>You join Fritz and Cody--the guy who sounds like Jango Fett-- and move towards the double doors of what could be an office building.
>"Boys!"
>You stop and look back to Boss.
>He glances up at the mares, then back to you.
 
>"No prisoners."
"Got it."
>You looks to Fritz.
>He's smirking.
>"Let's to it, then," Cody says.
>The three of you move in and open the left door.
>A pair of birds in the lobby are easily dispatched, with prejudice.
>You crank the lever on your rifle with authority.
>"Stairs, let's go!" Fritz calls as the second team comes in behind you, heading for the grand staircase on the right.
>As you reach the one on the left, another bird swoops down and catches your vest, flinging you around ten feet.
>Yo land on your ass, and watch as the armored bird is caught in a crossfire by Fritz and Cody, bringing him down.
>As he tries to get back up, you get up, grab you rifle and put on between his beady eyes.
"FUCKER."
>You follow our comrades up the stairs as you begin to hear fire from the other one.
>Keeping your gun up, you make your way methodically up the massive spiraling staircase, which spirals around a massive column that you can only assume helps hold this building up.
>You reach the second floor and are immediately taken by a group of birds, one of which has a flintlock pistol.
>The BANG catches you off guard long enough for him to get his claws on Fritz.
>Trouble for him is, he picked the wrong Nazi.
>Fritz pulls a blade from his boot and sticks it up through the talon's neck.
>You turn your attention to another, who doesn't seem to be up for a fight as she watches the third be taken down by Cody.
>Her wide eyes turn to you, your rifle raised.
>You can see the fear.
 
>But now she'll feel it, too.
>Right in the chest.
PANG
Cha-ch
>She falls to the ground and you rush over.
>Her eyes plead as she looks up at you.
>But no, dear.
>Not tonight.
PANG
 
>You move back to the stairs, seeing no other enemies.
>As you reach the third floor, you're grabbed by a minotaur and thrown against an opposite wall.
>Another four or five jump out and engage you friends, who take cover behind walls.
>You get up quickly and pull your trench knife, gripping it through the finger holes and using the outer rings as brass knuckles, punching the bull right in the face.
>"Rawgh, that hurt!"
>HE stumbles back.
>"You're gonna--"
>No, You're not.
>The blade sticks out of his throat like a weed from the sidewalk.
>Blood squirts on your vest and shirt as you remove the weapon and replace it.
>Cody puts two into the last of his friends as you rejoin them.
>"You alright?" he asks.
"Head hurts a little, but whatever."
>"Then let's keep moving."
>As you reach the fourth floor, you're surprised for a moment at the complete lack of resistance, until you realize that they're over on the other side of the building, fighting your comrades.
>Apparently, so are the guys on the fifth floor.
 
>The sixth floor is a different story.
>Armored bulls and birds await you as you come up.
>Fritz pulls a stick grenade from his jacket and tosses it before you all duck back a few steps.
"What is thi--"
BOOM
"Go!"
>The three of you rush back up and spray the landing.
PANG
Cha-Ch
PANG
>Fritz meanwhile, sprays half the room with STG fire.
"Damn, dude, save your ammo."
>"Boss said no prisoners," he quickly replies as he replaces his magazine.
>Cody, having emptied his own AR10 mag, replaces his.
>While you're thinking about it, you pull out four 30-30's and replenish your rifle.
>The three of you move on to the seventh floor, which is inexplicably empty.
>Upon reaching the eighth floor, you hear Boss over comms.
>"Nugget, Fritz, Cody; we've found the first group of civvies, what's your status?"
"We're just landing on the eighth floor."
>"Roger, we're taking these ponies back downstairs. Hear from Maple?"
"Negative."
>"We're good down here," Maple chimes in, "Few birds, that's all."
>"Copy, be down in five."
>"Roger."
>You, Fritz and Cody leave the landing and immediately stop as you hear noises.
"Listen... those ponies or birds?"
>The voices sound desperate; some might be crying?
>"Hard to know," Cody mumbles.
>"Look 'til we find 'em," Fritz decides.
>You nod as the three of you move away from the staircase and start scanning this side of the eighth floor.
 
>It definitely looks like the ruined remains of an office building.
>As you scan each room, one by one, you imagine the ponies who worked here, what they did, how the war affected them at first.
>How it's affected them now.
>How many of them survived.
 
>How many didn't.
 
>"Hold it, boys."
>You all stop again.
>The multiple voices have gotten louder.
>Significantly.
>Fritz points to a nearby door, which reads "PRINTING ROOM"
>Clearly this was once a newspaper headquarters.
>You raise your rifle and approach the door, as do your teammates.
>Fritz pounds on the door three times.
>Sudden gasps, and then silence.
 
>Right door.
 
>"Griffons!" Fritz yells, "We're giving you ONE chance!...either you come out here and face your deaths with some dignity, or we come in and gun you down like the cowards you are!"
>A few moments go by.
BANG!
>Wooden shrapnel from the door bounces off you as you feel a sharp pain grazing your side.
"Shit!"
>"Go!"
>You lag behind as the first two kick the door in and begin gunning down catbirds, scaring the ever-loving hell out of the hostages as the run between the printing machines.
>You glance at the ponies as you run past them, trying to find a target of your own.
>As you reach the windows that face the street, you find one.
>She shrieks as you raise your rifle, curls up in the corner and throws her claws up.
>"W-Wait, I surrender! Don't shoot, please!"
>You don't feel like biting.
>I bet those mares you got hanging out the fucking window asked you for the same thing!"
>"I-I-I didn't do that!" she insists. "I-It was the Colonel!"
>You huff.
"Colonel?"
>She nods quickly as Cody shows up, AR raised.
>"Colonel Bloodwing! H-He helped coordinate the attack on the city!.... T-Tell you what! I'll tell you where he went if you let me live!"
>"You're not in the place to be negotiating, you fuckin' crow," Cody growls.
>"P-Please, sir..."
>Fritz joins your side.
>He says nothing to her, and instead looks to you.
>"Your call, I guess. But remember what Boss said."
 
>You stare hard at her for a moment as you make up your mind.
>Then, you look to the still-open windows, put down your rifle and grab a rope, nodding to Fritz to grab another, which he does as you pull the rope up.
>As you pull in the light mare and look down on her face, residual tears still welled in her open eyes, her neck a dark purple against her spring-green fur, you almost change your mind and pick the gun back up.
>But no.
>You use your knife to cut the rope from her, and glide your hand over her eyes to close them.
"Get her wings," You say as you toss the rope to Cody.
>As he does so, you look to Fritz, his eye filled with rage as he ooks down on the face of a pink unicorn, who looks too much like Trixie for either of your comfort.
"C-Cut the rope and put 'er on a leash."
>"Yea," he says coldly.
>You look back at the griffon, who shakes like a leaf as she looks up at you, now bound by her wings.
>Fritz ties the rope around her neck and keeps a handle on her as you pick up your rifle, kneel down in front of her and look deep into her eyes.
>"Who is this Colonel of yours?" You say, softly, but with authority.
>"Colonel Bloodwing... total brute, both to the enemy and his own... nearly killed me b-because I wouldn't help the others do.... that."
>She nods to the mares who lay peacefully behind you.
"How much input did he have in the planning of the attack?"
>"A lot," she says, nodding her head quickly. " He's one of the most highly-regarded officers in our army and he jumped at the chance to lead this assault."
>"He's gonna regret it, the crow," Cody says.
"Where did he go?"
>"Do... do you promise you'll let me live?"
"I do... my squadmates might not, but I'll try to talk them down."
>"I'm not saying anything until you PROMISE me."
>Perfect time to borrow a line from ME2.
"I'm offering to be your friend. You don't wanna be my enemy."
>"They have a way of dying," Fritz says behind you.
>Thank you, based Fritz.
>She lets out a shaky sigh.
>"As soon as he got word of the counterattack, he blew. He's up north of the city now, at a staging base they've set up."
"Define 'north of the city'."
>"I-I don't know EXACTLY where, I wasn't ever there, I--"
>You scowl at her.
>"...it's on the coast," she says, shamefully, "about thirty miles north of the closest suburb, up in the rural parts."
"Much better."
>You stand up.
>"Now come on.
 
 
>"I thought I told you no prisoners," Boss says as he looks over the sad catbird.
"We got some good info out of her about the fucker how hung those ponies. Colonel Bloodwing, they call him. Something tells me that if this was Mercenaries, he'd be somewhere in the Deck of 52."
>Boss nods hesitantly.
>"Godmother, this is Delta 1; ever heard of a griffon colonel named Bloodwing?"
>"This is Godmother... he's a High-Value Target, for sure. Why?"
>"We got a catbird here who says she knows where he is. We're sending her back with the civvies.
>"Excellent, Delta. If we got our hands on him, it would be a huge blow militarily to their efforts on our soil. We'll need you to come back with them for a debrief, however; I'll assign another of your allies to the ird hostage location. Evac incoming... again, excellent job."
>"Thank you ma'am. Delta 1 out."
>He looks back to you and nods with approval.
>"Good move, Nugget... I wouldn't have been so considerate."
>You, Fritz and Cody chuckle.
"We know."
 
>As the roaring, crowded chopper takes you up, you take another look at the city.
>It's lit only by the fires of war, accented by various explosions.
>Something tells you it's a good thing you're leaving now... a feeling in your gut that it's going to be a bloody mess of a city when this is all over.
 
 
>You notice the griffon staring at Boss, who's still wearing his masks as he talks to various civvy ponies.
>If his eyes turn anywhere near her, she looks down and away.
>After a few occasions of this, he finally catches her.
>She starts to shake as he engages her with an intense stare.
>"Can I help you with something?" he finally asks.
>"You--... you're the Ghost Face... aren't you?"
>Ghost Face?
>Boss cocks his head and squints at her.
>"...Ghost Face?"
>"Yea... the one we saw in the sky that night... the others all call you Ghost Face."
>Oh.
>Right.
>Boss glances at you briefly, then nods.
>"I guess I am, then."
>I-Is it true... what they say about you?"
>"Depends on what they say..."
>"They say... they say you have the power of the old gods... how else could you just... say a few words and set an entire city on fire...?"
>Boss looks to you again.
>All you can do is shrug.
>He can tell her whatever the fuck he wants.
>"Maybe I had a little help from above, yea..."
>You chortle.
>Fuckin' Rain Man.
>A civvy suddenly hops up into his lap with a giggle.
>You find it hard to take him seriously as he pets the blue pony in the manner that a supervillain pets his cat.
>They're so cute when they're happy.
>"I also develop a bit of a chip on my shoulder when I see things like those poor mares hanging out the window--"
>"I told him, and I'll tell you; IT WASN'T ME."
>"Oh, I believe you..."
>He looks to you again with a quick wink, then leans towards her.
>"But it still might not save you."
>The griffon begins to shake violently
>"I... I-I'm sorry... I d-didn't wanna fight anyway... I was..."
>"Scarin' the children, are we?" Riley asks as he passes through the crowd of civvies and sits down next to Boss, his lap quickly filled by another pony.
>You notice Cody siting beside the griffon, his AR still trained on her as he leans back against the wall of the chopper.
>Maybe that's the reason she's so freaked out.
 
 
>"Slugger!"
 
>You look over to your left to see Ulrich waving at you from another part of the line.
>As you give him a nod and turn back forward, you focus again on the city that lays before you.
>Demascooves.
>The capital of Saddle Arabia.
 
>As it turns out, the battle you had waged on the first day pitted you against a large chunk of the occupying army.
>Over the previous week-and-a-half, you had been chasing them all the way back to the capital, engaging them in skirmishes almost every day.
 
>Saddle Arabia isn't actually all that big.
 
>Every step of the way, you've been earning the nickname with your trusty ax.
>Many of the other anons have noticed, and joke that they should stay on your good side and other such things.
BOOM
 
>Your thoughts are shattered by a cannon shot.
>Followed by another.
 
BOOM
 
>You watch as the second cannonball slams into the distant wall.
>It leaves a pretty big mark, but you'll need a few more shots to bring the wall down.
>Probably, anyway.
>Unfortunately, this isn't Medieval II.
>You can't just type in Jericho and the whole wall comes down.
>This one has to be done the old fashioned way.
>So you wait.
 
>And wait.
 
>And wait.
 
>For hours.
 
>Day turns to night as the cannons continue to roar.
>Eventually, some movement.
>A squad of faggots begins to slowly move forward with a battering ram by light of torches.
>They seem to take forever as they move forward, flashes of light from the cannons also helping you to see them.
>You don't even know if all the cannons are firing AT the wall or OVER it.
>Are we not worried about civilian casualties?
>This IS a sand-nigger horse city, right?
>"HEAVY INFANTRY!"
>Shit, that's you.
>You adjust yourself and stand straight.
>The earth-shatting rumble of a collapsing wall signals the beginning of the attack.
>"UNITS, MARCH!"
>You begin to move forward, the footsteps of your hundreds exclamated by cannon fire.
>Ahead of you, the lines of spearmen begin shouting as you notice movement at the many holes in the wall.
 
>It's actually not a bad idea.
>The more holes you put in the wall, the more positions need defending, the thinner the defending force is stretched.
>The easier they are to break.
 
>Anyway, a commander yells at the spearmen and they rush forward to engage the minotaurs.
>Your leaders, however, are leading you towards the main gate, where the battering ram is already getting to work on the doors.
>"CHARGE!" he yells as they get busted open.
>You break into as full a gate as you can in your armor, running in through the gates under a hail of arrows.
>Well that's new.
>The moment you cross the threshold, you lock horns-metaphorically and literally--with an armoured minotaur.
>You take your battleaxe like i walking stick, one hand on either end, and push him away, before whirling it back up and bringing it down in his head.
>Ducking to avoid the swing sword of another, you pull it out of his head and kick the one who just tried to decapitate you.
>As he struggles to get up, you grab a solid hold of your ax and go to slice his head in.
>Ulrich jumps in out of nowhere and beats you to it.
"Damn, how'd you get in here so fast?!"
>You swing at another bull as he stabs a different one.
>"I ran!"
>The two of you laugh
>THWUNK
 
>Wha--?
>You look down to your collar.
>The moment that you could have spent realizing you have an arrow in your chest is wasted by another on hitting you in the stomach.
 
THWUNK.
 
>The pain is intolerable.
>You find yourself no longer able to stand.
>Legs give out from under you.
>You crumple onto the ground.
>"Slugger?!"
>Ulrich puts up his shield to block another two or three from hitting himself.
>Slugger, c'mon man, you gotta get up!"
>You stuggle to sit up, trying to put words together, and yet all that comes out is
"uuuuuuuugggggghhhhhhh...."
>C'mon, Slugger. Stay with me!"
>Ulrich helps you stand back up, reaching down without warning and ripping a piece of the arrow off you.
>It feels like a bomb went off in your abdomen.
"AAAAAgggggghhh!....."
>Your shriek turns into a whimper and you slowly reach for the source of the pain.
>Ulrich puts yuor axe back in your hand.
>"Gotta keep the thing in so it minimizes bleeding. C'mon."
>Another armored anon comes along.
>He has a sloppily painted red cross on his forehead.
>"Hold on, hold on--hold still."
>You feel a pinch in your neck.
>Suddenly, your mind opens, chemicals rushing to your brain.
>Adrenaline takes over, and the pain begins to fade a little.
>Ulrich takes the opportunity to snap the arrow in your chest.
>You don't really feel it.
"rrrrrRRRRRRAAAAAAAUUUGGH!!"
>You take your axe and charge forward, slashing through a griffon before coming face to face with a minotaur.
>He takes a stab with his sword, but you dodge and shove him against the clay wall of a little shop.
>You then THWOK him with your axe.
>"Push! Push forward, men!" someone shouts as Ulrich joins you again.
>"You alright?"
"I-I-I dunno...!"
>"C'mon, just stick with me. We'll get through this."
 
>The hours whizz by as you hack
>stab
>slash
>Sometimes your vision goes blurry.
 
>Sometimes it goes black altogether.
 
>Those are the worst moments.
 
>You fight on, however.
>Fight on for Candyass and Saddle Arabia.
>For the crusade.
 
>The sun begins to rise again as victory is declared.
>You look up at the stars that can still be seen in the dark blue sky.
>The adrenaline wore off hours ago and you've been just fighting through the pain.
>You wonder how much blood...
>....you've....
 
flop
 
 
 
 
>"FREE AT LAST"
>"Saddle Arabia Liberated By Humans!"
"Not bad."
>You look through the paper and find even more stories of human heroism.
>Along with a casualty list.
>You had no idea these ponies kept track of that.
>Reading through some of the names, you notice they're all the same.
>Anon E. Moose.
>The only difference was made in the nicknames.
>Anon "Slugger" E. Moose
>Anon "Bundy" E. Moose.
>And so on.
>The names come from all fronts.
 
>No one you recognize.
 
>Boss comes back into the barracks from... something.
>You don't know quite what.
>He has a tired look on his face, similar to the one he had when you first met him.
"Any word?"
>"Nah... she's not talkin'. And they still haven't made any progress on Project Starswirl."
>You shake your head.
>"The hell are they doing up there?" Maple asks.
>"Eating our dicks, apparently," Fritz replies, having snatched your paper and looked over it.
"Hey, give those guys credit; they're nofuns."
>"So I see."
>He falls back down on his bunk, looking at you as you chill out on yours.
>"Fuckin' A."
"Hurry up and wait, right?"
>"Sitzkrieg. I don't like it... if you don't have anything for us to do, at least let us leave."
>"Kwitcherbitchin' Fritz, you're not the only one with a marefriend," Boss says as he sits down on his own bunk.
>"Any of you fuckers know anyone with a STG?"
"Nah."
>"No... why?" Fritz asks.
>"Always wanted one... dunno why I didn't ask for one when Luna asked... kinda regret it."
>You shrug.
"You could probably trade for one... that SCAR's pretty rare around here."
>"Yea, I suppose. Maybe one of those other Nazifags has one to spare."
>Fritz shoots up.
>"Other Nazifags?"
>Boss nods with a chuckle.
>"Whole fuckin' mech unit's worth. Tigers, Panzers, Half-tracks, bikes, you name it, they got it... they just got here."
"Here as in FortChan?"
>"Here as in Equestria."
>Seriously?
>Just a whole bunch of Nazifags being dumped on FortChan?
>inb4 they take over and begin telling everyone what to do.
>God damnit.
>Fritz gets up, grabs his STG and leaves the three of you, no doubt off looking for his comrades.
>You, being bored out of your mind and a little drunk, all chug out after him.
"Dude, wait up!"
>Fritz stops and waits for you.
>As you catch up, you can see from where you are the multitudes of German shit.
>Just as Boss predicted.
>Panzers, Tigers, bikes, half-tracks and a fuck-ton of infantry.
>"Shit, dude! There's a shit ton!"
"Right?"
>A hooded anon is accosting them, seemingly, for playing loud German marches from a boombox.
>You follow your team over, noticing a flag waving on a long, bendy pol from the top of what looks to be a King Tiger.
>Fritz marches right up to them and throws his arm into the air in salute. "SIEG!"
>"HEIL!" they all respond, snapping to salute in kind.
>"SIEG!
>"HEIL!"
>"SIEG!"
>"HEIL!"
>They all lower their arms as a bunch of now-charged-up nazifags and skinheads swarm and shake hands with you, Boss, Maple and Fritz.
>One sticks a confident hand out to Boss.
>"You must be those Delta boys."
>Boss takes his hand and shakes it. "We are. Welcome to FortChan, Anon."
>"Thank you, Anon. Call me Talon."
>You notice an iron eagle tattoo on his right arm, its black ink popping against the green skin.
>"Boss."
>"Oh believe me, we know. Your reputation very much precedes you, Delta."
>He picks up a beer he had sitting on a crate and tosses it to Boss.
>He then grabs a few more and tosses them to you and the other two.
>"Have a drink with us?"
"Sure."
>Falling in with the fascists already, are we?" the hooded anon sneers.
>Clearly he's a lefty.
>"We were here long before you were, scum," Fritz says rather casually, garnering a chuckle.
>"Indeed," Talon agrees, raising his beer.
>You raise yours briefly before cracking it open and taking a sip.
>No matter how much time you spend in the Badlands, you never get used to the heat, and a cold beer always feels good.
>Unless, of course, it's Horsteiner.
>"I've noticed more big units like yours, Talon. Wonder why that is."
>"I suppose as more of us pour in, they can afford to outfit bigger units."
>Boss cracks a smile. "What, have they dragged every horsefucker in from 4chan?"
>"I wouldn't know... never been on that board, never want to be."
>Wait.
>Wut.
>Boss cocks his head.
>"Then where the fuck did you come from?"
>Talon seems taken back by the question, looking behind him at his fellow Nazis, the tanks, the trucks, the boombox playing "Schwarzbraun ist die Hazelnuss".
>His stretches his arm towards the large flag near the King Tiger.
>"Where the fuck do you think?"
>Looking at the flag again, you notice it's the Nazi flag with the big black-and-white-stripey cross going over it.
>In the top left corner, where there is usually a small iron cross, is text.
 
/pol/
 
>There's a few tense moments as it sinks in that /pol/ is fucking here now.
>You look to Boss, who slowly loses his composure and laughs his ass off, ending the tension.
>"You gotta be fuckin' me!" Boss says, as the /pol/fags laugh.
>You can't help but laugh too.
"I guess we need all the bodies we can get, right?"
>"Absolutely," Talon agrees. "There's a lot of us coming from /pol/ now, just for shits, really, as well as /k/, which is good, because the more of those crazy bastards bring guns, the more we can distribute and modernize the HVF."
>"Well, I mean, the Princesses can literally just, like, poof guns into existence."
>Talon raises an index finger.
>"Ah, that's where you're wrong."
>He sits down on the crate and sips his beer, prompting you to follow suit as you listen.
>"You see, as more of us have poured in, I don't know if you've noticed, but a firmer chain of command has been established, gradually but surely. All of us were put through a physical fitness course, followed by a test, albeit both simple, to determine leadership roles. I lead this unit and as such I was able to convince your blue Princess, who appeared to me last night in a dream, to explain a few things. She seemed happy enough to do so."
"Go on," you say as Boss chugs his beer, crushes the can and tosses it under the treads of a passing APC.
>The boombox begins to play "Erika" as he speaks.
>"When the first waves came through, and you all were sorted, a lot of anons, at least those who brought guns, brought multiple guns. There were enough guns and few enough gun units that they could be distributed the way they were. Blue night horse didn't poof them into existence, but she was able to use her magic to move them around. Notice that she only came to you for that purpose one time."
>You nod, remembering the occasion.
>God, it felt so long ago.
>"After recruitment from /mlp/ seemingly died down--either you guys were already here or no one else was coming--the Princesses asked the heads of the HVF, two anons named Lee and Grant..."
>You chuckle.
>"I know. Anyway they asked where they should recruit from next. Our generals apparently suggested /k/. Now why do you think that is, anons?"
>"Cause they'll have plenty of guns," Boss says as he nods. "And ammo."
>"And possibly some individuals with knowledge of how to fight a war," Maple adds.
>Talon points to both of them.
>"Precisely. Thus with this influx of weapons, ammunition and ordnance, bigger, better units can be more thoroughly outfitted. Once it became apparent that /k/ had been exhausted... they turned to /pol/."
>He spreads his arms to encompass his unit.
>"And here we are."
"I wonder when we were gonna find out about that."
>"Why bother telling you? No need to inform you of something that may affect you effectiveness in the field."
>You shrug.
>Learning that /pol/ was involved would be a little interesting, but perhaps not adverse.
>"So if you've got no skin in the game, really, then what's your point in being here?" Boss asks.
>"I don't know. War tourism? Living out a blitzkrieg fantasy? Trying to figure out why none of you horsefuckers asked what I would consider to be important questions?"
"I suppose when it's your waifu on the line, you don't need much explanation."
>Talon thinks about it, then nods, as do some of his fellow polfags. "That's acceptable."
"Alright," you say, "that explains the guns but what about the armor? There's no way most people bought multiple suits of armor."
>Talon squints his eyes, thinking, then looks back to one of his soldiers.
>"Sideburns, get up here."
>"Yes sir!"
>Another anon comes forward
>"Take your vest off."
>The anon does as Talon orders.
>Talon takes the ballistic vest and examines it carefully, an eyebrow slowly raising.
>"Does this thing look like a fishing vest or is that just me...?"
>"Yea," Maple agrees, "but it's not like you couldn't use a fishing vest as a template for a ballistic vest."
>"I suppose that's common in Canadia?" Talon says with a smirk.
>Maple shrugs. "Seen it before."
>Talon pulls an ornate Nazi dagger from his belt, reaches it into the vest and cuts it open.
>He has to promptly move his feet as a big piece of metal falls to the ground.
>Even on the desert sand, it makes a bit of a "bong" noise as it lands on its edge, then falls flat.
>Boss leans down and picks it back up. "Is that just a slab of metal? WhatisitIguess, iron? Cast iron? Looks like some shit you'd just cut off an old boiler."
>"Better than nothing, I guess," Talon says as he knock the rear plate, which offers the same subtle "bong" as its frontal counterpart.
>You notice Fritz hasn't said much.
"You've been quiet."
>He shrugs, shaking his head slightly as he looks down at the slab of metal.
>"Ya sorta had the impression we were... sort-of playing with house money, I guess."
"Well whatever money we're playing with, we've made it alright so far."
>"That's a credit to you, Delta," Talon says as he hands Sideburns back his vest and the slab that goes with it. "Not a lot of you small teams left. Making it as far as you have, with what you've been doing... not bad."
>He thinks about it for a moment, then his face returns to the quasi jovial one you've come to expect.
>"Yea. I guess. Just gotta be careful, huh?"
"Yea."
>You remind yourself to ask Celestia why none of this info reached you, next time you see her.
>Fritz looks to Boss. "Didn't you come over here for something?"
>Boss freezes. "I did!"
>This gets a few laughs as he raises his SCAR-L.
>"Anyone got an STG they'd trade for a SCAR-L?"
>"Lemme see it!" one of the polfags says to a few more laughs.
 
>Meanwhile something else catches your eye.
>A ton of choppers roll in and land at their points, most of which are unloading wounded.
>They're all nofuns.
>Must be in from Saddle Arabia.
>That's a lot more interesting to you than a bunch of fascists, so you go see them.
 
>A Teutonic kinghtfag walks with an anon on a strectcher, reading the paper.
>He laughs.
>"Hey, Slugger, you made the paper!"
>Is he really talking to a dead guy?
>Wait...
>The anon on the stretcher takes the paper from his hands.
>He lets out a gruff chuckle.
>"C'mon, man.. I ain't... that bad yet..."
>"Nah, You're good, Slugger. They have good medical stuff here. You'll be okay."
>You find these guys a lot more interesting than a bunch of Nazifags, and decide to follow them.
>Strolling up to the side of the Teutonfag, you ask:
"You guys come from Saddle Arabia?"
>"Yea," her replies, taking the paper back from his friend. "Barely."
"How bad was it?"
>"Let's get our boy here settled, then we can talk."
>He extends a mailed hand.
>"Ulrich, by the way."
"Nugget."
>You shake his hand.
>"Slugger," the guy on the stretcher says, touching two fingers to his brow in salutation.
 
>Ulrich and yourself sit in chairs next to Slugger's bed as the cute nurse pony--the same one who was looking after you--does a little check-up stuff on Slugger.
"So, were you all swordfags?"
>"Crusaderfags, more like," Ulrich chuckles.
>"Seriously," Slugger agrees. "It was straight outta 'Kingdom of Heaven', just without the leper king... Huge ass sun symbol and everything."
>Huge ass sun symbol.
>That makes you laugh.
"What, instead of a huge cross?"
>They both nod as they laugh, remembering the thing.
"So, like... how was it over there?"
>Ulrich shakes his head.
>"Hot as balls, for one."
>Slugger nods.
>"Hot... sandy, chaotic."
>You nod as he stares into the ceiling, recalling the whole thing.
>"It was, what, Thread Plus 1 when they sent us... Thread Plus 3 when we landed. THAT DAY, I kid you not, we find ourselves locked in combat with an army of minotaurs.... It was... fuck, it was brutal."
"I'm sure... anons getting gored and shit?"
>"Oh yea," Ulrich nods. "Lot of that."
>"We basically spent the whole campaign following these jackasses around, rollin' over little hamlets and chasing what was left of the bull army across the desert."
>He chuckles.
>"Thankfully, Saddle Arabia is, what, MAYBE the size of New Jersey? So there was only one place they were going, and that was Demascooves."
"Yea."
>He waits a moment to speak as you hear a pair of propeller fighters roar over the building.
>Looking outside, you see a Fw 190A with a black 8 on the fuselage sitting next to a Blohm & Voss BV-141.
>You often forget that Nuke anon and LuftAnon are the same faggot.
>"Anyway," Slugger, continues, "we chase the guys back into the capital, then stand there for a whole day as our bombards put hole after fuckin' hole int the walls. It was nighttime by the time we actually assaulted the walls."
>He and Ulrich laugh quietly.
>"Then the two of us managed to get hit by a bunch of arrows and fell down next to each other.
"Holy shit."
>"Right?" Ulrich says, nodding. "I was scared outta my mind but the wounds were superficial for me."
>"Weren't for me, but whatever, I guess that's why I'm on a stretcher."
"So... what, you got evac'd, or... I mean, how did they know you were still alive?"
>"'Cause he got back up. Next thing I know he's taking on another bull, swingin' for the fences like Bryce Harper..."
>"Medic had shoved a needle full of what I'm guessing was adrenaline into my neck. Kinda went off the handle."
>"... I catch him, and the two of us fought our way to the city center, where the rest of their forces were... and that was just nuts. Blood flying everywhere, brutal... So, of course, we won, and when I turn back to Slugger, I see him passing out and realize he's lost a ridiculous amount of blood!"
BOOM!
>The whole base shakes.
>"What the hell was that?!"
>You and Ulrich rush to the window.
>Nothing looks out of place until you see a crowd of anons around the behemoth railroad guns and, upon watching the two K5 guns fire and cause a slight shake, conclude that it can be blamed on Gustav.
"Ah, it's just the railroad arty, we're good."
>"Thank god," Slugger sighs, relieved.
>Your only question is, what the hell would they be firing at?
>Eh, who cares.
>"So anyway," Ulrich continues as you return to your chairs, "Slugger's still got an arrow in his throat, or collarbone or wherever, and some Saddle Arabians gather around and take him off somewhere, to a doctor... and Nugget, I tell you, SHE WAS A TEN."
>You smile.
>"And uh... I mean she closed her door to do her operating, but... given my friend here refuses to tell me what happened..."
>Slugger smiles mischievously and put his arms up behind his head, Ferris Bueller-style.
"You dog."
>He laughs.
>"Let's just say she's a helluva doctor."
>You and Ulrich can't help but laugh.
 
>For being the first nofuns you've really talked to since you got here, these guys aren't NEARLY as autistic as you thought.
 
>Ulrich is a Candyassfag, Slugger is a Twifag.
>You're the least autistic collection of princessfags you've ever seen.
 
>And you've been to a few cons.
 
>Coming back to Barracks 12, you notice a fuck-ton of new guys.
>Manehattan took the lives of quite a few anons.
>They've all be replaced by the /pol/fags, and Fritz and Talon have them all singing German drinking songs.
>You can't help but chuckle a little.
>Boss sways a beer back and forth in his hand, though not singing, instead looking over an STG that he had seemingly managed to get off one of these guys, and writing a letter.
>Probably to Rarity.
"How'd you get that beauty?"
>He looks up to you with a smirk.
>"/pol/fag took the SCAR-L. How's that guy they brought in on the stretcher?"
"Doing okay, seemingly. They just came back from Saddle Arabia."
>He nods. "Figured."
>Looking around, you notice everyone seems very excited, even beyond the singing Nazifags.
"Why's everyone so hype?"
BOOM!
>Gustav responded from outside, shaking the barracks to a roar of cheers.
>Boss nods towards the door.
>"Word's come down from the human brass. Once they've cleared the rest of the catbirds out of Manehattan--and we nab that Colonel--there's gonna be an invasion of the Griffon mainland. That's where NukeAnon and Angel just came back from; they've been spotting coastal defense positions all morning--"
>Boss is interrupted by one of the K5 guns.
BOOM
>"...the big boys are just shelling the shit out of 'em."
>Invasion, huh?
 
>Sweet.
 
 
"Little bit o' BLITZKRIEG, huh, boys?"
>The Nazifags all erupt into cheers.
>Fritz turns around to you, a grin on his face.
>"We're rollin' with them, I don't care WHAT Boss says!"
>"We have something else to do first, Fritz... hey, anybody seen Maple?"
>"Oh, he's out there watching the guns."
>Boss nods, just as Maple walks in with Shining Armor.
>"Delta, load up."
 
 
>"Delta, this is Godmother, are you receiving?"
>"Copy, go ahead."
>The helicopter blades cut through the comms like a katana.
>"With the help of an HVF scout unit, Private Eyes, we've located the staging base your griffon prisoner told you about. 'Eyes' has been observing the facility for the last 48 hours, so they can tell you what you're going up against."
>"Roger."
>The helicopter touches down in the middle of a rural field.
>You shove the magazine into the bottom of your M4 carbine and hop out.
>"Head northeast from your current position, you might see something familiar; Eyes will be there."
>"Roger."
>Boss nods to the three of you, who silently follow him through the tall grass.
>He looks back again, then sighs.
>"Damn...."
>You look back.
>Columns of black smoke can be seen in the distance, their darkness amplified by the brightness of the setting sun.
>Manehattan's still burning.
>You shake your head, unable to shake out the images of those ponies hanging from the eighth floor window.
"Fuck me."
>"Least we're not going back there," Maple remarks.
>"I'll drink to that," Boss agrees. "Now let's move."
 
>"Is that my truck...?"
>Boss stares at the blue Durango as it sits silently, its front bumper caught on a boulder.
>"Oh, for fuck's sake..."
>"Yeh, sorry 'bout dat."
>You all look to the trees to see a group of four anons approaching.
>Brooklyn from Big Red One.
>Every Russian ever.
>Some Mariachi guy.
>And Mr. Milsurp.
>"Ivan's a bit of a fuck-up."
>"You're the one who named him driver..."
>"Shuddup, Sisu."
>"You must be Private Eyes."
>"Yeh."
>Boss and the New Yorker shake hands.
>You and the others all exchange greetings.
>"Call me Jersey. That's Ivan, Mango and Sisu."
>"Boss. Fritz, Maple and Nugget."
>Jersey nods.
>"You fellas have a bit of a job ahead'a you."
>"Whaddawe got?"
>Great, now you have to translate to English from Cityfag.
>"C'mahn, lemme show ya."
 
 
>The eight of you watch the small base intently from the trees, unable to take your eyes off the black bug horses flying about, alongside catbirds, and even dogs, who are busy digging trenches.
"Fuckin' great."
>"That's not even the worst of it."
>Boss puts down the binocs and looks to Jersey, who just tells you straight up.
>"They got some humans, too."
 
>Wait.
 
>WHAT?!
 
>Boss sighs heavily.
>"You gotta be kiddin'."
>"Wish I was... we were able to pick off one or two catbirds, but othawise.. they're at full strength and they're diggin' in. Sisu tells me that when I was asleep they brought in some armor, but I ain't seen any.
>"I'm telling you guys, they have a Challenger somewhere. I saw it... just be careful."
>"We will... we might need to call in some arty, or an airstrike," Boss says.
>"Godmother, did ya hear dat?"
>Her voice crackles over comms.
>"I'll divert some air support from the cleanup job in Manehattan."
>"Roger."
"Anything else we NEED to know?"
>"Where does our colonel spend most of his time?" Fritz asks.
>"Dat small buildin' at the back, wit'a big drapery thing."
>You look to the other side of the base and see a shack with two windows and a large flag draped over the front doorway.
>Boss nods.
>"Alright, we'll take it from here, you guys head back south."
>"Rogah."
>The four Private Eyes silently get up and sneak back into the treeline.
>"And don't fuck up my truck."
>"We'll try not to," Jersey calls back.
>As their footsteps fade into nothing, you look back to the base.
"Alright, Boss... any ideas?"
>"I mean I'da just blown the fuckin' place up, but of course they need this faggot alive..."
>"Well, he DID coordinate the Manehattan assault," Maple says.
"Yea, I mean... we could learn a lot from him."
>Boss huffs.
>Seeing those ponies hanging from the window must have done something bad for him.
>Usually he's much more chill.
>"I say we wait for a few hours, see what they get up to at night. If anyone sees an opportunity, we go."
>You all nod.
 
>The sun slowly sets as you all watch the compound, eyes wide open for anything that could count as a weakness.
>Switching to NVGs offers a new perspective, making you able to catch things that the low hanging dusk shadows would have hidden.
>Something catches your eye.
>A blind spot?
"Eyes up, Boss."
>He leans in towards you, looking at the location.
>"Nobody over there."
"So we... move around to that side of the compound and work our in?"
>Boss looks out beyond the eastern side of the compound at the tall corn stalks.
>"I'd say so... wait, no. Fritz, you and Maple stay here. When I give the word, open fire."
>He looks to you as the other two nod.
>"You and I are gonna infiltrate the compound and grab him quick."
"Two of us against all of them?"
>"Maple and Fritz will keep them distracted, get the whole place in chaos."
"Ah, get them all over here, clear the base for us... we just gotta watch for that tank.
>"Godmother, any word on air support?"
>"Delta, I've got two ground attack aircraft en route to your location."
>"Delta, this is Nuke anon, you got a copy, motherfuckers?"
>"You son of a bitch," Bos chuckles as you all laugh quietly under your breath, "we read loud n clear."
>"I've been hearing some... very disturbing things about anons fightin' for the bad guys?"
>"That's confirmed, Nuke, we got some up here in the compound."
>"FUCK."
>There's a moment of silence.
>"Who the hell even LIKES Chrysalis, anyway? She's fucking cancer."
>You chuckle.
>Of course, that's probably all they are.
>Changefags.
"I dunno, Nuke, but I say we show them what happens when they can't waifu."
>"Copy, Smoker and I have you covered, just give us a target."
>"Roger that Nuke, over."
>Boss nods to you as you hear Fritz setting up the MG-34.
>"Let's move."
>The two of you slowly, silently get up and basically tip-toe away from your comrades and towards the corn field.
>The cracking of an especially loud twig stops the two of you cold.
 
>Thankfully, no one down there seems to notice.
 
>"Was that you?" Boss asks, barely above a whisper.
"Yea."
>"What good are ya, getting us caught like that?"
>You can't help a chuckle.
"Sorry."
>"Fuckin' dumbass."
>You continue.
 
>The tall stalks of what actually turned out to be wheat keep you well hidden, even better than the tree line.
>"Maple, get down here where we are. You'll do better down here than up there."
>"What, you just gonna leave me up here by myself?" Fritz asks. "What if that tank comes out after me?"
>"Call it in to the flyboys. You got the laser designator, don't you?"
>"Oh, yea, right."
 
>After another few minutes, a ghillie'd Maple joins you in the wheat stalks.
>"I can get a clean shot of any target down here," he mumbles as he equips a suppressor to the end of the barrel of the C3A1 he's been using since you met him.
>"Good, Down a few targets for us... namely changers and faggots, if you could."
>"Roger."
"You need a spotter?" you ask as he lays out next to you.
 
>"No."
 
p-tnk
 
>You hear a shriek and peek out through the wheat.
>About fifty yards away, a changeling lies dead, with an anon desperately shouting for help.
 
p-tnk
 
>And suddenly, he's dead, too.
>You shake your head
 
p-tnk
 
>You hear something else fall over, but don't see it.
 
"You're not just an army scrub, are you?"
>He pauses.
>"JTF2," he says, nonchalantly cycling the bolt.
>You and Boss look at each other, with expressions reminiscent of the ones you had when you first watched a bull get torn in half by a 12-gauge.
 
p-tnk
 
>There's another one.
>And finally, it gets some attention.
>A few griffons and a bull come over and find the bodies.
 
>Maple pops one of the catbirds before she can raise an alarm, but the jig's basically up.
>Fritz," Boss quickly says, "open up!"
 
brrrrrrrrrrt-brrrrrrt....brrrrrrrrrrrrrt...
 
>That gets them up in arms.
>Shouting erupts from all over the facility as bulls, birds, bugs and anons all rush up towards the southern end of the compound.
>Maple continues to pick off unfortunate souls as they run by.
 
>There's your window.
>"Go!"
>You and Boss scurry along the edge of the wheat stalks, up towardsthe northeast corner, close to the colonel's building.
>As you approach, one of the armoured fuckers, Jersey warned you about bursts out the door and flies at you.
>Lifting the M4 carbine, you aim down the sights and let three go.
PANGPANGPANG
>Boss adds a headshot from his newly-acquired STG, putting it down for good.
>As the next appears, he takes the lead, putting one in between his eyes and three in the torso.
>The two of you move in and infiltrate the small building, unmolested.
>"Don't shoot," an old, gruff male voice says, tired and sounding beaten.
>Col. Bloodwing looks as tough as he sounds.
>One scar running from the top of his bird-skull, all the way down to the base of his beak, and eyes the color of apples.
>He stands proudly behind a desk, a young, admittedly attractive female guard next to him.
>Boss slowly moves forward, the two of you scanning the corners with your guns, and does his best Don Meredith impression.
>"Turn out the liiiiiights, the party's oveerrrrr..."
>Bloodwing huffs.
>"You're not kidding... I told them. I told them that there weren't enough soldiers in our combined armies to stop you."
>He sounds like Col. Shepard from MW2.
>"You're god-damn right, there aren't. 'Specially when you go around hinging mares from the windows of newspaper buildings."
>He chuckled.
>"I figured she'd tell you something like that... she did that herself."
>She?
>"Lieutenant Gladys... she was a stage actress before the war started."
>Boss slowly turns to you.
>A question pops into your head.
"How long ago was that?"
>"Three and a half years."
>Holy shit.
>Bloodwing shakes his head.
>"It'll be over in six months, the way you guys are rolling," the sexy guard bird says. "At least, that's what the Colonel told me. You know it took them a year to capture Saddle Arabia? And the humans take it back in a week... that's insane."
>You hear something walk in behind you and whirl around.
>"Colonel-- Oh, shit..."
 
 
>Kyne.
>It's FUCKING KYNE.
>THE ALPHA FUCK.
 
>You instinctively grab him, throw him against the wall and put the M4 barrel to his chin.
"Gimme ONE GOOD REASON why I shouldn't blow your FUCKING head off!"
>He simply glares at you.
>"I was wondering where you disappeared to, you fucker," Boss mumbles.
"I knew you were a faggot but i thought you were one of us."
>Kyne turns his glare to Boss.
>"I /used/ to be."
"So you get blown the fuck out a little, you don't fuckin' see Nuke anon dropping bombs on us, do you, faggot?"
>"She told me I could have Rainbow Dash if I joined her."
>"Who?"
>He smirks.
>"Queen Chrysalis."
>You go to squeeze the trigger.
>Boss grabs the barrel of your rifle, looking to you.
>"Could be worth something to intel."
>You lower the rifle.
>Bloodwing shakes his head. "Humans... in the short time I've seen them I've found them to be quicker to kill each other than any other species."
"If you hadn't told me who hanged those ponies, you'd be no better off."
>Bloodwing nods, knowing you speak the truth.
 
>You lead the two catbirds out into the moonlight, and come across Boss and Maple in the middle of the compound, their guns pointed at a group of prisoners of all stripes.
>You chuckle, realizing you guys just pulled a Sergeant York.
>"Godmother, we're gonna need a few choppers... we have some company. How copy?"
>"Solid copy, Delta. We'll dispatch three choppers."
>"You guys picked a good time," The Colonel's guard admits. "Your human tank guys went up north to do some recon... figured some border fighters might swing south."
>Boss laughs.
>"They're gonna come back and no-one's gonna be here!"
>This gets a laugh from the rest of you.
 
>Until you hear a motor.
 
"Down!"
>Everybody ducks as a pair of Luftwaffe fighters roar overhead.
>Nuke laughs through comms.
>"Sorry, fellas, did we scare ya?"
>"Fuck you, Nuke!" Boss says, shaking his head as you all stand back up.
>"Heyyy, we got a piece of armor just north of your position, ya want us to take care of it?"
>You all laugh again.
>"Please!"
>Roger that."
>Fuckin' lucky, indeed.
 
 
>"Awww, what the fuck..."
>Boss looks with disgust at the windshield of his blue Durango, which is riddled with cracks.
>The front end is also dented severely and caked in what looks to be dried blood,
>You can't help but wonder what those boys had to get through to get this truck back to Canterlot.
>Perhaps they took the scenic route, straight through the heart of Manehattan.
>Boss looks down at his keys and presses a button on the fob.
>The flash of orange lights, makes him sigh.
>"But does it still run?" Fritz mumbles with a chuckle.
>"Shut up."
>You, Maple and Fritz laugh as Boss opens the driver door.
>He sits down and starts up the truck, which hesitates for a moment before growling to life.
>"Whew!"
>He lays his head back on the headrest and sighs with relief as you all laugh again.
>"I think this is a candidate for a bit of Mad-Max-ing," Maple says.
>"Yea, just tear the doors off, cover it in spikes," Fritz chuckles.
>"How 'bout no?"
>He looks around the interior, which is littered with cigarette butts.
>Knowing he only smokes cigars, you can only assume it was one of the P.E. guys.
>Or whoever drove it down to FortChan in the first place.
>"Y'know what?... that might not be a bad idea. Less weight, less fuel used and other shit. Might give it over to the mechanics and tell them to go off."
"What, you can't tear a few doors off?"
 
>He thinks about it, smiles and looks to the three of you.
 
>So, guess what Delta spent their afternoon doing?
>Well, you spent the afternoon gathering a group of friends to help you tear down a truck.
>Looking around Canterlot finds you Animal and Foley, the two Marines, Cody from the Screamin' Eagles, and Lim from Rover Team.
>The night is spent, however, drinking a fuck-ton of alcohol and tearing a Dodge Durango to near bare-bones.
>And smashing out the front and rear windows.
>And welding some giant bits of scrap-metal you bought--with beer--off some guys coming from Manehattan.
>They go on the front bumper and grill, in the general shape of a brush guard.
 
>With spikes.
 
>Like Maple said, Mad Max.
>Animal and Lim even helped you put together some kind of rig for Fritz's MG.
>It's hard to describe, even to yourself.
>The gun is hanging in the middle of the window-way, on some kind of... harness?
>You dunno.
>After this, you take a rubber mallet and beat the crap out of the hood until it's as straight as you can hope to get it.
 
>You all step back and admire (?) your work.
 
>"It... it really, I mean it looks PROPER shite, boys," Lim says as he starts laughing.
>Knowing he's right, you laugh, too.
>"Kinda hideous," Fritz agrees with a smile.
>"Nah, it looks badass!" Animal argues.
>”Yea, nothin’ wrong with it,” Foley agrees as Cody nods along.
"It looks... just, so stereotypical operator."
>"Hey, it’s Boss’ truck, he can do what he wants with it,” Maple says with a shrug. “I’ll admit I had fun smashing the windows.”
>You nod as you calm down a little.
“Yea, that was fun.”
>”Now all she needs is an oil change and some coolant, maybe some window washer fluid. Once we get back to FortChan we can steal some from the mechanic anons down there,” Boss says, not even acknowledging anyone as he looks at his truck.
 
 
>Before you go to bed back at the old room, you catch Boss sitting in the truck alone, smoking a cigarillo and reading something.
>You go over and read it over his shoulder.
>It’s another letter from Rarity, with a certain three-word phrase replacing what would normally be a “Yours Truly” or an “All the best”.
>Or “Stay Awesome,” if you’re reading one from Rainbow Dash.
 
"One letter or two and she's already saying she loves you?"
>You snicker.
"Christ, you work fast."
>"One or two, my ass."
>He reaches over and opens the glove compartment.
>Your jaw drops along with the uncountable number of letters that pour out.
>"All her."
"Shit, dude."
>You walk over to the other side and sift through some of them.
"Where the hell did you find the time...?"
>"She's got Spike 'poofing' our letters back and forth."
"Aww, that's not cool."
>Boss chuckles.
>"Not my idea."
>A thick tuft of smoke, which smells like grape, rolls past your nose as you read one letter in particular.
>Rarity repeatedly tells Boss how much she misses him, wishes she was around more often...
>...and tells him that Sweetie more than approves of her plane for him to stay.
>You don't wanna ask him straight out, but you wanna know.
"So, what's your folks back home gonna think when they see what you've done with the truck?"
>Boss sighs through a chuckle.
>"I'm not going home."
>You look to him.
>He's staring out the window, letter still in hand.
>"I'm not goin' home," he repeats as his eyes turn to you.
"You... you're gonna stay here... with her?"
>He nods, a smile rolling across his face.
>"Crazy, right?"
"Yea," you laugh.
"Yea..."
 
>You bet Fritz and Trixie are doing something similar.
>And Maple's already told you his intentions.
>But you?
>"Like... I never thought this would-- well, I mean, no one thought ANY of this would happen, but THIS in particular... Rarity wants ME? I'm like, Jeezis Christ, y'know?" he says through a laugh. "ME. Of all the guys here... over fuckin' Blue Bloode and whoever the fuck else, too!"
>Yea.
 
>Real cool.
 
"Yea, that's awesome, dude. Fuck, I mean, I feel like since we rescued them an' all, we got first crack."
>"Right?"
>He sees what you're thinking, and softly punches your shoulder.
>"Hey, you'll get a crack at Sunbutt. Trust me, you'll get your chance."
>You nod.
"Thanks... I hope you're right."
 
 
>Boss woke your asses up at 0300!
>What the fuck?!
 
>Once you get back to FortChan, he tells you to get as much sleep as you can, because according to the brass, you're rolling out at night.
 
>So you do.
>Straight through the day.
>Boss wakes you up at around 2330 hrs.
 
>"Up 'n at 'em, gents."
>You roll out of your bunk and look up at Boss, who's sitting on his own bunk, loading his SKS, M16A2 on his back, and of course, his Taurus .357 on his hip.
>You pull open your locker, throw on your ballistic vest, pull out your Mosin, the Mossberg lever action and the M1 carbine, and then begin stuffing your rucksack and evetry pocket you have with as much ammo and MRE's as you can.
>As do your squadmates.
 
 
>"Where the fuck you think YOU'RE goin'?"
>You all look to Nuke, who grabbed Boss' shoulder as the four of you were heading to the helipad.
>"Angel and I got you tonight."
>His partner in crime, speak of the devil, walks up with him.
>"We got your truck loaded up and ready," he says.
>"Well, alright, then," Boss replies. "Wonder if--"
>"I picked it up from the mechanics, they changed the oil," he says with a laugh, "don't worry."
 
>Just as he assured, you look into the belly of the beastly plane from behind it on the runway and see the blue Durango sitting inside.
>"Hey alright, the rig gets to see some ac--"
 
>"Boss! Darling!!"
>You all look off toward the base from the dirt flats.
>Rarity and Trixie are sprinting--or galloping, you suppose--toward you, each jumping into their husbando's arms.
>"What're you doin' he--hey, what's wrong?" Boss asks.
>You notice Rarity is crying, and decide to watch the two of them as Fritz and Trixe talk quietly to each other.
>"Th-they told me..."
>"Sorry, Boss... maybe I was too harsh."
>Shining Armor strolls up to his side.
>"The fuck did you say to her?"
>I just told her the truth. I told her to say goodbye to you before you leave because you might not come back."
>"Woooowww...." Boss says, Philly accent on full display.
>you could tell in his face, though, he knew Shining wasn't entirely wrong.
>He hugs her even tighter.
>"Straight up, he's right. But... I mean we always take that risk... how many missions have I gone on? We'll be fine, trust me."
>She nods her head, whatever she's saying muffled by her face being pushed into his chest.
>"Hey... heyyy..."
>He kisses her head, up behind her horn, and she immediately stops crying, her big blue eyes slowly turning up to him.
>She reaches up and kisses him on the lips.
 
>Hory Shet.
>You never thought you'd see it.
>Maple, Fritz, Trixie, Nuke and Angel all watch with you as they hold it for a good few moments, Rarity blushing like a tomato as they finally break it.
>"I'll be back, Boss says, not missing a beat. "Alright?"
>"Okay," she mouths, nodding.
>As he puts her down, Fritz tries to steal a kiss from Trixie and gets a hoof to the face.
>"Don't even think about it," she says as everybody laughs.
>She then steals a kiss from his cheek before hopping out of his arms.
>"Auf Wiedersehen, dear ones. Trixie wishes you well."
>A white paper bag floats up to your face.
>"Darlings, I've consulted Pinkie Pie and decided to make you something 'for the road'," Rarity says proudly.
>Food.
>Food is good.
>You take it without question.
>"Don't worry, hun," Boss says with a smile, "I'll make sure they get eaten."