‘’Day 1 in Equestria!’’
    >Why did you shout that?
    >What does that even mean?
    >You open your eyes
     
    >Being the systematic person that you are
    >You break down the clusterfuck of information that you just received.
    >You are on your back in some long grass, this is fine.
    >Judging by the chill its winter and you are in a large open space, also fine
    >We’ll figure out how you got here later
    > The sky is relatively clear, not important but interesting
    > And looming over you is a small group of brightly coloured horses.
    >You prop yourself up on your elbows staring wide eyed at this... whatever this is.
    >’’Princess, what is this thing?’’ asks the purple horse to a tall white horse that looks oddly regal.
    >’’It looks like a hooman, an old mythical creature with the head of a centaur. And the legs of a-‘’
     
    >Ok brain, they talk how are we going to deal with this?
    > Scream and run dude.
    >You have the best plans brain.
     
    > You run for a very short burst before a rope goes around you and meets your ankles.
    >Quickly proceeded by your face meeting the ground.
    >It didn’t hurt as much as you’d think, the earth felt kind of spongy.
    >Still had a mouthful of dirt.
    >You read somewhere that out of date dairy products can induce intense hallucinations.
    > Damn that alluring mystery cheese that was at the back of your refrigerator
    >Oh well, totally worth it.
    >Hold the fuck up.
    >Are these are the characters of my little p0ny?
    >you have excellent taste in cheese induced hallucinations
    >You manage to contain all the geek in you and just stare at them with your cheeks puffed out.
    >It all comes rushing back. The cartoon you and countless others obsessed over
    >But it wasn’t what it used to be.
     
    >You stopped watching around 2 years ago
    >’’Oh my. Erm, whats it doing twilight?’’ says yellow horse to purple horse.
    >It then dawns on you it’s been a full 5 minutes since you woke up.
    >And in that time you have tried to escape
    >Then laid on the ground with dirt in your mouth gesturing emphatically staring into space.
    >You always were a people person
    >Horse person?
    >Horse whisperer?
    >I wonder if that pays well.
    >Focus!
    >Say something. This is like a wet dream come true.
    >The p0nies were talking amongst themselves
    >Right! Time to shine!
    ‘’Errrrr’’
    >Ok. That wasn’t words bud. Try again.
    >It seemed to do the trick though. Yellow hush creeps towards you
    >’’H-hello. Are you ok?’’
    ‘’Ahh, yes?’’
    >Why is that a question? Dumbass
    >’’It talks! Ooh. This is so exciting. What else can it do!? What else can you do!?’’
    >Rather suddenly your vision is filled with pink and your nostrils are assaulted with the smell of cake.
    >You enjoy cake.
    >So this is ok.
    ‘’I enjoy cake’’
    >God damn it you are smooth.
    >’’That’s nice, darling, would you like some cake?’’
    > Asks rarity in a pretty condescending tone as she peeks at you around a beaming pinkie pie.
    >The same tone you personally use to talk to the disabled
    >’’I think the poor thing hit his head pretty hard, Brava, Applejack! You broke the hoomin’’
    >’’I di’nt break anythin’! It’s a weird creature. Hoomins are probably like this all tha time’’
    ‘’Human’’
    >A collective ‘’huh?’’ from them all takes you aback
    ‘’Its hu-man, not hoomin and better yet its Anon.’’
    >Ow. Why cant you say your name? It was like a small punch to the back of the head trying to grasp the word
     
    ‘’Anon.’’
    ‘’Anon’’
    >’’Yes dear we got that’’
    >You already dislike this one.
    >You spy the looming white princess clearly assessing everything.
    >You were probably a solid foot taller but you were on your ass so she loomed.
    >’’Where do you come from?’’ She asked in a soft but stern tone
    >Christ! That voice reverberated through you with authority
    >You have a pretty solid grasp on what’s happening.
    > You read plenty of AiE threads back in the day.
    ‘’Earth, probably an alternate dimension, what happened this end?’’
    >Wow. That just sort of flowed through you.
    >’’My student twilight here was attempting to create a reality bending spell to be in two places at once’’
    ‘’’Been done’’
    >Purple smart looks at the ground and kicks a hoof.
    ‘’Make sure you write a letter for this one’’
    >’’What?’’ inquires the suddenly perky twilight
    ‘’Nothing’’ no sense in letting on how much you know just yet.
    >Wait. This is all a crazy cheese dream. Why play along so much?
    >You loosen the binding at your feet and spring upwards.
    >This causes the group to retreat a step or two.
    >You were a pretty big buy.
    >A little chunky around the middle but reasonably broad at the shoulders. Probably a touch intimidating
    >Your hair was a little messy but it usually was, you run a hand through it sweeping it back the way you liked it.
    ‘’Twilight sparkle, miss rarity, pinkie pie, applejack, and fluttershy!’’ you gesture and smile widely
    ‘’And of course the lovely princess Celestia’’ you sweep your arm and bow dramatically
    >This earns you a smile from the princess and a few questioning glances from the others
    >’’Tell me, hoom- I mean anon? How do you know so much?’’
    ‘’Ah! Can’t traverse the plains of reality without picking a few things up your highness’’
    ‘’Even where I come from people have heard all about the exploits of the Elements of harmony!’’
    >You turn on the spot and wink at an open space.
    >Why did you do that?
    >And why did you suddenly feel like everyone hated you?
    >You cough awkwardly at your previous display.
    >That was odd even for you. Again it flowed through you in an unnatural way.
     
    >’’I expect you’d like to return home now Anon?''
    ‘’Sounds great. I have a quiche in the oven to get back to.’’
    >You didn’t.  Why are you saying things? Stop with the words, you toss pot.!
    >Sun butt charges up her horn
    ‘’A pleasure to have met you all, my regards to rainbow dash’’
    >You are blasted in the face with a hadouken
    >You hit the ground for the second and hopefully last time today
    >The power of wishful thinking has disappointed you before though.
    >’’Oh dear, twilight do you have any idea why he is still here?
    >Ahhhhhhh dicks. When will this cheese-mind fuckery end?
     
    End part 1