Ebola-chan vs Florida -AaronAmethyst   >The small, white pony trotted through the long stretch of road Florida offered, rain smattering down and drenching her coat >When that little white pony was told that her opponent would be an entire state, there was instant confusion >She walked for miles, not seeing much but the occassional passing vehicle >Nobody really noticed her presence, something that made her feel incredibly invisible >Feeling a bit parched, the mare opened her mouth and let the rainwater fall in >That satisfied, but it wouldn't be enough for the long haul >Curving off to the side, the young, ill mare found a lake of wonderful tasting freshwater >She lapped greedily, letting the wonderful h2o coast down her throat >Her saliva meshed with the fresh water >Bacteria swam in the open lake >The clouds finally gave way, letting the mare brush horse hair from her eyes >As she enjoyed the clear air, the water she just drank headed towards the reserve tank >For the town of Ocala   >The mare sits on a sidewalk, looking into the window of a TV store >A young woman talks frantically on the news, holding her chest and struggling to hold composure >"Ladies and gentlemen of the great sunshine state, please do not evacuate your homes." >She coughs, a little red escaping >"Listen to the men in the white coats. What they tell us is for the greater good." >The cameraman coughs loudly, distractingly >"Ebola is not a problem in these United States. Ebola can be contained. Ebola can be beat." >A cheesy text comes on screen, cutting sound and leaving the viewer with a soft, elevator tone >The mare smiles and trots away >Victory was at hoof   WINNER: Ebola-chan!   ---------------   Anonymous vs Nutella Crepe -AaronAmethyst   >You stare down at the delicate breakfast item >You're in a dark room, the only light over you and the plate >You chuckle "Seriously guys? A pancake?" >No response >Fucking French Prudes >You bet they wanted you to call it a crepe >You try to pick it up, but find it's much heavier than it appears >You need to lift more >Putting your back into it, you wrap your hands around the pastry and pull as hard as you can >The crepe appears to act as bait >The monster behind the delicious food stared blankly back at you >It drooled syrup onto the floor >It's golden eyes shone through the dark shadows >All you smelled was hazelnut and powdered sugar as it breathed >It lurches at you, tearing you apart >Limb by limb, you're dismantled by the monster >Your last thought? >'Wish I hadn't died a virgin.'   WINNER: Nutella Crepe!   ---------------   Keksandra vs Pizza Pone -Anonymous   >Michael Buffer held the microphone in his hand and stood in the center of the ring, clearing his throat >"Iiiiiin this corner, we have the local delicacy, the cheesy Fabrizi, the doughy pony, weighing in at 420 pounds, give it up for the PIZZAAAAAAAA POOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" >Uproarious and loud, the audience hollered and cheered for Pizza Pone >She sat in the corner, slurping up a strand of her cheesy tail. >"Aaaaaaand in this corner, we have the meme supreme, the Cute Hugs Tan, the princess of Topkek, weighing in at 99 pounds, give it up for KEEEEEEEEEKSANDRAAAAAAAAAAA!" >Crickets chirped. Two ponies clopped their hooves. "Yeah!" one stallion yelled. >Keksandra giggled and blew a raspberry at the crowd. >"Dum-dums..." the girl laughed. >"And now...LLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" >The bell sounded as Buffer walked out of the ring. Pony and child walked towards the center, staring each other down. >They got up into each other's faces with stern looks. >Innocently, Keksandra booped Pizza Pone on the nose. "Boop!" >A little bit of cheesy goop stuck to her finger. She licked it off.     >"BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP" >Keksandra's hearty belch sent an eardrum-shattering shockwave through the arena, deafening everybody. >Some strings of cheese and drops of spit showered into the crowd, covering the audience. >Open-mouthed ponies looked at the fattened, chubby girl in shock, unable to understand what had just happened within the last ten seconds. >A confused Michael Buffer stepped into the ring, straightened out his bowtie and lifted Keksandra's heavy arm. >"The winner, by, uh, delectable takeout, KEEEEEEEEEKSAAAAAAAAANDRA!"   WINNER: Keksandra