The fire scarred me in more than one way, Hisao.
 
The emotional impact it had on me goes far, far deeper than what the naked eye can see. What do you see when you look at me? Do you see anything more than a girl who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time?
 
You don't, huh? Of course you don't.
 
How would you be able to view me as something more than a paper umbrella? Is that what I am to you? A paper umbrella. Something you would try to use for protection and then throw away the moment you realize it's useless.
 
Years of pain, trouble and misery is what's hiding under this facade of happiness I've been putting up for the past 10 years. I thought things would change after meeting you and Lilly. I thought I could turn this empty facade into something real. Something genuine. But what do you go ahead and do?
 
You use me.
 
You use me as an outlet for your bodily desires. All I wanted was to hear three simple words. I wanted you to caress me, embrace me, but all you could do afterwards was to pass out next to me. I actually felt a bit happy when I saw that you had enjoyed yourself, but the night still left me in pieces.
 
It downright shocked me that you could play with my emotions as badly as you did.
 
Do you know what I've been going through for 10 years? I watched my mom crumble to pieces in front of me, trying to protect me.
 
There I was, an eight year old girl, watching death unfold in the most cruel way possible, right in front of my eyes.
 
Do you think I enjoyed it? Do you think that was fun to watch?
 
It wasn't. It was a living hell. I still remember the look she had on her face before the flames consumed her. I remember her screaming. The screaming that slowly faded.
 
The years that followed consisted of constant bullying.
 
After spending several months in a horrible burn ward, they finally let me out. In fact, I can still remember the smell of burnt flesh.
 
Living at the orphanage wasn't exactly fun either. The kids there saw me, saw my scars and they laughed. They laughed, they pointed, they taunted me.
 
It ruined my entire life. I swore that I would be a stronger person when I left the orphanage and came here. But being doted on by you and Lilly only made things worse.
 
Everything would be better if I just weren't alive. After all, I'm nothing but a paper umbrella to you.