"Are you alright?" you shakily whisper.
>"Of course I am!" Chrysalis shouts. "Never better, in fact!"
"D-did I break anything?"
>you try to refocus your eyes so you can see the tiny queen more coherently, but your pathetic human optics are too insensitive. All you can make out are her shining limbs and radiant green eyes.
>"No! Really, I'm fine!" she still needs to scream for you to hear her, evidently. "This exoskeleton has withstood worse than a simple belly rub!"
"Worse... how?"
>"Imagine a creature with knuckles the size of planets pummeling you into the ground..." Luna says as she climbs into view, standing atop your middle and ring fingers. "...as a greeting gesture. She didn't even need a shield."
>"That was a good day," Celestia remarks, her head in her hands in dreamy reminiscence.
>"Such great allies they were, it was good to reunite with them and explore the worlds they had developed!" Chrysalis shouts.
>you need some back story now.
>you look to Chrysalis again.
"So, was there some form of treaty or truce I missed that got you to be so friendly with each other?"
>Chrysalis appears to sit up.
>she sits cross-legged once more.
>"It's... rather old news, Anonymous," she says.
>You hear her well enough. Faintly, but well enough.
>"We agreed, in the end, to seek a compromise. We would not harm the citizens of Equestria, but instead work to get them to release their love willingly. There were all sorts of... occupations that granted this- schoolteachers, cooks, artisans- they are loved in an Equestrian society."
>neat.
"So, does it... shrink you?"
>"Pleasure," Chrysalis begins, "is more of a tight embrace than an energy or an aroma, such is love. Enough of it can... sort of... condense us."
>she makes a gesture with her arms that you can't quite make out.
>"Makes us smaller... but never weaker!" she jumps off of your fingertip to your horror and lands with an "oof!"
>looking into your lap, you find that she has faceplanted directly in between your legs.
>you scoop her up in your forefinger and lean in to see if she's still conscious.
>she shakes her head in disorientation and looks up at you.
>"Alright, maybe a little clumsier," she snickers, "but I still feel fantastic!"
>with that, she hops onto your nose like a flea and squeaks, "Boop!" before scuttling up into your hair.
>hopefully she won't lay any nits.
>you sigh and uncurl your left hand, placing it on your knee.
"At least she's happy."
>Luna nods.
>"Certainly preferable to what happens when she's upset, believe me."
>you lift your hand up to your face again.
>Luna takes a seat on the right of your pointer finger with her legs hanging off. She's quite relaxed.
"I have another question."
>"Shoot," Luna replies.
"You seem able to... resize at will. Why don't you ever just grow to- average human height, for lack of a better term, so you're not as vulnerable-? I mean, to animals."
>"At will?" Luna asks, blatantly playing dumb. "Whatever are you talking about?"
>this just got suspicious.
"Both of you were able to fit inside my ear when I was cleaning, and I saw two lively dots floating in the water I spilled yesterday."
>Celestia sighs.
>sighing is becoming real trendy right now.
>"We haven't been able to grow beyond a human decimeter. We found this out when we arrived," Celestia says. "I'm not sure about Chrysalis. She doesn't seem to care about scale quite yet."
>one of your hairs hangs down in front of your eye.
>you can see a tiny black knot on the end.
>"I'm quite used to being an insect, Celestia," the knot remarks calmly.
>"Right," Celestia murmurs.
>the hair flops back into place somehow.
>"Point is, this height seemed the least... awkward for us in this world. Small enough to be an anomaly as opposed to shin height. Smaller people do exist here," Celestia continues. "We know this from the documents."
>documents?
>Metal Gear?
"What documents, exactly?"
>you've seen Galaxy Quest, you know some hilarious misunderstanding is still lingering.
>"Books," Luna says. Out of a knapsack she acquired out of your field of vision, she removes a tiny copy of A Clockwork Orange. "Many, many books. Brought through by an undetermined force. Stories of all the ways your kind sees its place in the world collapsing."
>you pray they didn't read any of the modern wannabes.
>"We found motion images as well," Celestia adds. "Though we never understood how a man could find the resources to construct a fire-breathing guitar in a barren wasteland."
>and at the same time you really hope they saw Equilibrium.
>how did they watch them without the technolo- magic, you fucking retard, stop asking stupid questions.
>"We took these speculations as an indirect cry for help, and so we set this place as our next heading," Luna says, crossing her legs. "We had insufficient data for any untested pony to enter this universe in an unfamiliar body, so we sought out a local-"
>Luna gestures to you, "-to educate us on the matter."
>this is getting deep.
>it sounds like they really trust you with their intentions.
>it'd be a bit of a dick move to back out now.
"A lot of those documents were really just written for revenue, you know."
>"The world here still seems like a bit of a cesspool," Chrysalis whispers into your ear canal. "I saw a great deal of if through your mind before I found my way out of you."
>you shiver from your inner ear.
>what a strange sensation many voices can provide.
"...Very well. Anyone in the mood for lunch?"
>"While we're sharing secrets I suppose it's best to tell you now that none of us really need to eat," Celestia says. "If you're hungry you can get up, though."
>they only ate to be polite.
>that's interesting.
>you're honestly not hungry at the moment.
>you won't be able to take another session of sitting still, though.
>you tilt your hand backward, causing Luna to scoot forward.
>carefully, you place her above your head.
>she hops off casually without a word, and lies down on your scalp.
>this was pointless, but it would add some variety to the waiting-for-somebody-to-drop-dead period.
>perhaps you could all try to attain enlightenment by positioning Celestia in your hand standing on one leg while Chrysalis meditates on her scalp.
>why, again, are you waiting?
>you lean in to Celestia, who appears to already be standing on one leg with the other arched towards it.
"Is there anything you'd like to do?"
>you didn't even know meditation existed in Equestria.
>she simply raises her finger to you and returns to her balancing act.
>it is now that you realize how angry you would make her if you were to boop her on the nose while she was trying to retain tranquility.
>it is also now that you realize that such an action is the sort of thing that makes people despise you, so you decide against it.
>"Aaaaand nothing," she says, returning to a normal stance. "There's one thing to cross off the list, anyway. Sister, what are you doing on Anonymous' head?"
>"Not sure," Luna replies. "...but it is quite comfortable."
>you feel your hair being tussled.
>you realize you're being treated like a child.
>by a lady who is barely the height of your middle finger.
>...and you're okay with it.
>you begin to ponder.
>how amazed you would be if this were to be the case with humans in a world extraterrestrial life.
>no fear, no violence between the two species, just communion and cuddles.
>you quickly bed the idea, as human explorers in history have never been known to immediately befriend the unfamiliar.
>you're quite thankful that the sisters came to you, of all people, now that you think of it.
>this isn't a good place. It's likely they would have been broken physically and mentally by whatever other sadistic human being they discovered.
>not to say you're any angel, of course. You're just not human enough to demoralize a fellow mortal in the name of physical pleasure.
>not in this case, anyway.
>they're so delicaAARGH.
>you didn't notice that Celestia was trying to get your attention.
>nor did you notice when she signaled for her sister to pull your hair.
>you did notice, however, when Luna pulled out a relative fistful of your hair.
>your eyes water a bit.
>"Oh... sorry," you hear Luna murmur. "That... that wasn't supposed to..."
>"Sister! I said PULL, not UPROOT!" Celestia shouts to your scalp, visibly embarrassed.
>delicate...
>so... very... delicate...
>is this what being scalped feels like?
>you gather your voice.
"S-something wrong?"
>Celestia goose-steps across the gap between the coffee table and your kneecap, and begins walking up to your shoulder from your right hand.
>"A horrible dilemma, Anonymous. The sort that causes lives to be risked and humiliates the closest of friends," Celestia replies.
>"We... are bored," Luna concludes as she hops down onto your left shoulder.
>well, this is truly an achievement.
>you have successfully driven two immortals, each over a thousand years old and experienced with working in politics, to boredom.
>”What is it you normally do to entertain yourself in this sort of situation?” Luna asks.
>you think to your usual pastimes.
>you have a very squat list of particularly uninteresting activities.
>vidya would be impossible through any method, for obvious reasons.
>if they just watched you play, would they be entertained?
>it would be extremely awkward.
>for you, at least.
>the best idea you have is to just watch something.
>would they be up for going out to see a movie?
>maybe later, on less short notice.
>you stand up with the sisters sitting on your shoulders.
>you hear Chrysalis start in surprise.
“Which, erm- document haven’t you seen yet?”
>”I’m sure if you just list through them we’ll find one,” Celestia replies. “They were… interesting.”
>you walk over to your bedroom, in which you plan on actually going to bed tonight.
>you left your computer on.
>the address of the porn of your choosing is still half-entered into the URL field.
>you close the window and open up your preferred movie streaming site.
>Chrysalis would probably hate Men In Black.
>There Will Be Blood is a bit too cynical for your current audience.
>you look for something you can classify as the increasingly unpopular ship of entertaining and clever.
>fuck it, you’re watching American Psycho.
>they’re adults, they can comprehend a masterpiece.