>Be Anon in a tree.
>It’s like that one song from that one album.
>But you’re not up here to throw stones.
>Lifting the binoculars up to your face you spy down upon Sweet Apple Acres.
>The fields were still empty so you brought them back down again.
>It shouldn’t be much longer now, you think.
>Your grand scheme was about to go down.
>And by ‘grand scheme’ you meant shitty prank you put together in five minutes because you were board as fuck.
>And when Anon’s bored, you’re going to damn well entertain yourself.
>Except this time it wouldn’t involve masturbation.
>No, today you were trying something a little bit different.
>You were going to not only prank Applejack, but the grandmaster of pranking herself, Rainbow Dash.
>How were you going to accomplish this?
>Anything’s possible if you just believe.
>Also by using an idea you’re pretty sure you stole from a sitcom or something.
>What the hell, it won’t hurt to remind yourself of your plan.
>Gotta make sure you’re not coming down with Alzheimer’s or something.
>Twas a simple prank, but you expected great things from it.
>You secretly gave the two ponies each a letter claiming to be from the other.
>They were romantic letters professing a secret love for the other mare, and that they wanted to meet them at Sweet Apple Acres.
>The real kicker was that you were like 99% sure Applejack and Rainbow Dash actually were lesbians (it was totally obvious), and that they might actually be harboring a crush on each other.
>There really wasn’t much else to do, so why not?
 
>Bringing the binoculars back to your eyes you take another good look at the fields.
>Your spot from the tree on this hill provided maximum spying opportunities and maximum cover.
>No one would be able to find you up here—“Hey Anon! What’cha doin’?”
>HOLY FUCK PINKIE PIE OUT OF NOWHERE.
>You practically leap out of your skin, binoculars fumbling around in your hands.
>Goddamn Pinkie Pie almost giving you a heart attack.
>Grasping your chest, you take deep breathes in and out.
“Pinkie…”
>You force out between breaths.
“What… the… fuck?”
>Giving a last wheeze you relax your back and readjust yourself on the branch.
“How the hell did you even get up here Pinkie?”
>“Silly Anon, ponies can climb trees too you know!”
“Are you kidding me?”
>“Anon, if I was kidding you, would I be up here right now?”
“Don’t start playing your mind games with me pink horse, I’m on a mission.”
>Moving yourself back into position, Pinkie comes up behind you.
>Damn she did a good job balancing on this branch.
>“What kind of mission? A secret mission? Sounds fun! Can I play too? Pleeeeeeeaaase?”
“This isn’t play time, Pinkie, this is much more serious.”
>“How serious are we talking? Socks lost in the drier serious, or no more cupcake frosting serious?”
“Pranking Rainbow Dash serious.”
>You said solemnly.
>“Ooooooh, wow that is serious!”
“Exactly, that’s why I can’t afford any distr— shit!”
>Fumbling with the binoculars, you zoom in on a specific spot in the orchard.
>There!
 
>Looking down through the trees, you saw two certain ponies approaching each other.
>Oh man you could only imagine how awkward they felt right now!
>It’s now that you realize that this’d be infinitely better if you could actually hear what the two were saying.
>Oh well, sacrifices.
>“Hey! Is that AJ and Dashie down there?”
>Pinkie leans on your back, trying to come between you and the binoculars.
“Pinkie, stop it!”
>“Come on Anon, lemme see!”
“Damn it, Pinkie!”
>Your vision was now half-filled with pink.
>Stupid horse was obstructing the show.
>Grasping for her head, you finally make your mark and manage to shove Pinkie off to the side.
>Branches provide more space than you originally thought.
>Using one hand to keep her away and another to hold up the binoculars, you look back down upon the scene already unfolding below you.
>What were they doing down there?
>Hugging?
>Wait.
>Oh.
>OH.
“Oh.”
>“What is it Anon? Can I look now?”
>Your arms droop back to your sides, releasing the iron-grip you had on Pinkie.
>She sits down in front of you and moves her head into position to look through the binoculars.
>“Hey, what are they doing down there?”
>Pinkie turns to you expectantly.
>There was no way in hell this mare was that innocent.
“Something really fucking hot, Pinkie.”
>You return the binoculars to your eyes, a smile on your face.
“Something really, really fucking hot.”
>When Anon gets bored, you’re going to damn well entertain yourself.
>And this time, it was going to involve masturbation.
 
 
//Quick little oneshot for the people that check this place.
//Bonus points if you got the Antlers reference.