Anonymous in a Wasteland
    > you are anon
    > you are walking through the desolate city that was once your home
    > timeflies.jpg
    > it has been 5, 000 years since the bombs dropped
    > and you haven't aged a day
    > you still had to eat and drink, but not as often as you had to
    >you are armed with boots, work jeans, a white undershirt, and a light jacket
    > you have a makeshift rifle made from pipes, wood, and scrap
    > you even craft your own bullets
    > the city has almost completely been degraded
    > a few standing foundations
    > piles of rust and aged rubber where cars once sat
    > you could barely tell it was a city anymore
    > you have been alone for these 5000 years
    > but 2000 years ago, something odd occured
    > the moon and the sun began to take sudden shifts in the sky instead of gradually moving
    > the environment was getting better
    > greener grass, trees, and wildlife
    > more food
    > you hear a twig snap
    > it is then you hear the clopping of hooves against the aged asphalt
    > you duck behind an aged foundation
    > the clopping stops and you hear a female's voice
    >"Guards, search the area for anything noteworthy. Celestia said there was a great library here..."
    > be Twilight
    > you and five royal guards are walking down a strange black road
    > it is nearly completely covered in grass
    > the stone doesn't match any stone you know of
    > celestia sent you down this road to find a great library
    > the library of come grass is what she said
    > such an odd name
    "But a library is a library and knowledge is there!"
    > you wonder why the library was abandoned
    > you suddenly spot a stone platform with degraded rubble above it
    > it looks like metal and marble
    > you can't be sure
    > you see more and more scenes like this
    > it must have been a city
    > you stop in front of a pile of rubble
    > you look, at the ground closely and note a footprint
    > such an odd find
    > it is not a pony's
    "Guards, search the area for anything noteworthy, Celestia said there was a great library here..."
    > the guards move off
    > suddenly, year hear the sound of stones falling
    > you see a tall shadow run off behind one of the more intact buildings
    "Hello?! Is somepony there?!"
    > you wished that whoever came would leave
    > you had been alone for 5000 years
    > 5000 years and a heavily rusted pair of scissors
    > you spend half of your day just shaving with those blunt things
    > so yeah, you look like a caveman with clothes and a gun
    > pretty silly
    > you shake your head
    > you need to get out of here before they spot you
    > you vault over the foundation and kick a few stones loose
    > shit
    > you run for the next building which seems mostly intact
    >"Hello?! Is somepony there?!"
    > you caught a glimpse of her and a guard
    > they're mutated horses or something
    > they have horns
    > holy shit it's like S.T.A.L.K.E.R. with unicorns
    > you chuckle to yourself
    >"I heard that! You, guard! Please check behind that building!"
    "Shit..."
    > you duck and run as quietly as you can for the entrance of a rusted gate
    > you hear the clopping of hooves shortly following
    > "Catch it, but don't harm it!"
    > They're gonna dissect you!
    > You hit the mostly intact door and stumble inside of the building
    > the yard is mostly overgrown, and is hard to get through
    > outta buy you time
    > you slam the door shut and take note of your surroundings
    > shit
    "I'm in the fucking white house..."
    > the furniture is all rotted and the roof has collapsed
    > which means there is no second story
    > which means no oval office desk to take a shit on
    "No time to think, running from the weird unicorns!"
    > you take a small, still somewhat intact painting of George Washington and shove it in your rucksack
    > you run around the building looking for an exit
    > you suddenly hear the sudden slam of hooves on tile
    > the resounding CLOP! makes you stumble and lean forward
    > you catch yourself from tipping out the window
    >"Stop running creature, you are surrounded! Just please come with us peacefully."
    > haha
    > peacefully
    > you let yourself fall forward and out the window
    > you tuck and roll
    "Still got it..."
    > you laugh to yourself and start running again
 
    ---------
    >be twilight
    > watching the creature run from the building's window
    > you heard it speak
    > its voice was like metal grinding on metal
    > like there was no magic guiding his voice, making it smooth
    > it spoke equestrian however
    > and that makes it a prime target
    "Maybe it knows about the library of come grass..."
    > you slow down to a walk and huff
    > running is really tiring
    > you mustve sprinted for a good 30 minutes
    > you just wanted to return to your makeshift home
    > which was actually fairly close
    > your eyes settle on the lincoln memorial
    > you cleared it of rubble when you decided to make it your home
    > you even kept the structure intact with beams of wood
    > you replaced the wood every year for safety's sake of course
    > the memorial was the most intact building in D.C.
    > the notable figure of abraham resting against his marble chair
    > beautiful
    > you walk up to the monument and pull out something from your rucksack
    > the painting
    > you lay the painting against lincoln's chair
    "There ya go george, you have lincoln for company now."
    > you laugh and shake your head
    "I'm going crazy..."
    > it was quickly becoming night, and you didn't want to be out at night
    > those weird wolves come out
    > you've heard lion like roars, but have never seen the faces behind them
    > but you've had to stop the wolves from getting into your food
    > they aren't right
    > and you need sleep
    > you enter the memorial and make your way to your makeshift cot
    > it was next to a small, handcrank generator youve kept intact
    > no matter
    > it was time for sleep
    > right before you had fallen asleep you could have sworn you heard the clip clop of hooves
    > oh well
    > you awaken
    > something isn't right, you can't see
    > you try to sit up, but something pushes you down
    >"Stay down creature."
    > must be one of those guards
    > which means you were kidnapped in your sleep
    > you can't move your feet or hands
    > guess they are bound
    > you cannot speak either
    > and poor george is vulnerable sitting against lincoln like that
    > you'll miss him
    > after what seems like hours, the cart you are riding in stops
    > you hear some jumbled conversation and a sigh
    > your stomach lurches as you feel as if you are shoved into mailbox
    > you shake your head to rid the faint smell of ozone from your nostrils
    > you take note that you still have your rucksack
    > and you feel the weight of the rifle on your back
    > stupid horses must not have guns
    > savages
    > your bindings are suddenly released as you are tossed onto the ground
    > you hear a pop and the faint smell of ozone becomes present again
    > you remove the blindfold and gag from your face and observe your surroundings
    > you are in a fucking castle
    "Not too surprising..."
    > with ponies surrounding you
    > Mostly guards, but the lavender pony is there as wellcas a taller white pony
    > the lavender one speaks
    >"Hello Princess! We cut our expedition short, but we found the library of comegrass!"
    > she chuckles nervously
    >"Turns out it was called the Library of Congress."
    > time to leave
    > turns out the guards aren't really guarding
    > they are asleep with their eyes open
    > you easily slip past them while the two ponies talk
    > as you make your way through the different rooms, you finally come across a balcony
    > holy shit you are high in the air
    > and you are in a city
    > attatched to a mountain
    > not surpirsing considering the united states was nuked
    > but where'd this mountain come from
    > you ntoice train rails leading up to the city in the distance
    > perfect way to getaway
    > so as long as nobody saw you that is
    > or you could just dive off this balcony and into the river about a mile below
    > you don't want to die yet
    > you could use a shower though
    > you turn around and come to face the tall white pony and her lavender friend
    >"Ah, if it is not Anonymous!"
    > you recognize that voice, but memory escapes you
    > you try to get past her, but she encapsualtes you in a golden glow from her horn
    >"Err... Princess Celestia? Am I able to study it now?"
    > you want to kick the pony's teeth in
    >"No, and please give him the painting you found."
    > you hear a sigh and the painting of george is lifted up to you
    > you grab it and hug it
    "Georgie... I knew you loved me..."
    > you can have feels later
    > first you must go back home to D.C.
    "Let me go home."
    > you put the painting in your rucksack and give the ponies a hard glare
    > The white pony that seems to be Celestia smiles
    > "Your home is now a swamp again Anon!"
    "BITCH YOU WHAT?!"
    > foot to her chest!
    > elbow to her face!
    > be Celestia
    > just got attacked by Anon after joking
    > you are bad at jokes
    >"Uhhh... Celestia? We didn't turn his city into a swamp..."
    > You sigh
    "I know Twilight, I'm just really bad at joking around with scared and violent creatures..."
 
    -------
    > be Anon
    > you call upon glorious American freedom magic to bring back D.C.
    > you American freedom kicked a unicorn horse into the ground
    > no guards after you yet
    > good
    > you pull out your rifle
    > you notice a statue of their fearless white horse leader
    > you take aim and fire
    > the head of the statue comes off clean
    > using your insane american freedom climbing skills you climb up to the top of the statue
    > you put the painting of george where her head was
    "Godspeed, soldier."
    > you salute and take off running
    > you american freedom kick a guard in the head
    > you are sure you heard his neck snap
    > you burst out of the castle and sprint through the city aimlessly
    "Gotta get to that train, however the hell did they get it?"
    > you hear the CHOO CHOO! of a steam engine and follow the noise
    > you see the train is about to leave as you sprint up to it
    > you american freedom jump onto the train and climb on top of it, laying prone
    "For my country... Godspeed george..."
    > you wake up
    > you are back in the lincoln memorial
    > did you dream that all of that happened?
    > you look around and notice you are laying on a... clean floor?
    > you, look around and notice that the building has been restored
    > you rush outside and notice that all the other buildings are still in ruins
    > you sigh sadly
    "Guess I'm still in deep shit."
    > so begins the daily grind...
    > you turn to go back inside when you notice a note
    > you pick it up and read it allowed
    "We found what we were looking for... Please expect us back sometime within the next few days, we will be friendly this time around so don't worry. Signed, Princess Twilight Sparkle."
    > funny name
    > but they will be coming back in a few days
    > it would actually be nice to talk to someone
    > being lonely for 5000 years sure does take its toll
    > especially after finding the bodies...
    > so many bodies to bury
    > you shake your head and grunt
    > that was the past
    > you had company to prepare for now.
    > you go back inside and crank the generator for what seems like hours
    > hopefully it will've stored enough electricity to charge the batteries you put in it
    > you take out a heavy duty flashlight you had found by the vietnam war memorial
    > it was the most intact out of anything else
    > god knows why...
    > you could still read the names to this day
    > a thought crosses your mind that maybe the lavender mare had repurposed the lincoln memorial
    > maybe she could fix the other buildings too
    > that would make your day
    > you smile
    > you picture Washington d.c. abuzz and beautiful again
    > the senators taking their walks in their suits
    > uniform and grand
    > you open your eyes back into the hell of the world
    > you would probably never see something so great again
    > you replace the batteries in the flashlight and flick it on
    > the light bulb buzzes for a moment and flickers before lighting up
    > you shine it on a darker wall
    > it's bright enough
    > you figure that you should check on the tomatoes you had planted
    > seeds last for a long time
    > you go around to the side to see the makeshift garden is weed-free and larger
    > surely the ponies couldn't have been this kind
    > could they?
    > you decide to leave the plump vegetables alone for now
    > no sense picking them now and waiting
    > suddenly, you hear a loud growl behind you
    > you quickly pull out your rifle, but you are not fast enough
    > your attack smacks you and rakes its claws against your left arm
    > you are now bleeding
    > you land on the grass and cry out in pain
    > you look at whatever had just attacked you
    > you gape and speak
    "Good god, its like a cat fucked a scorpion!"
    > the offspring certainly looks offended as he attempts to stab you through your chest
    > you roll over and dodge
    > you find your rifle and manage to sit up and aim
    > you pull the trigger
    > you miss the head, and instead sever the stinger from the creature's body
    > it roars loudly and runs off somewhere
    > you lay back down on the grass and sigh in relief
    "Glad that's over with..."
    > but of course it isn't
    > the arm the cat thing had swiped is bleeding profusely
    > you stand up and walk over to the steps of the memorial
    > you sit down and pull out gauze from the rucksack
    > if anything you learned, it was to always carry gauze
    > you take out duct tape as well
    > your wrap the gauze around the claw marks and tape it together, ensuring it's secure
    "Now it's really over..."
    > the rifle lays on your lap as you begin to wipe the dirt off of it with a rag
    > you were beginning to run out of parts to make guns with
    > you would have to stop using guns soon
    > a twig snaps nearby
    > you jerk the rifle against your shoulder aiming it at the source of the noise
    "Who's there?!"
    > a lavender mutant unicorn horse steps forward
    > two guards and another pony, yellow with a pink mane step forward as well
    > the yellow pony is a pegasus, and she hides behind one of the guards
    > she is afraid of the gun
    > you reluctantly lower the rifle
    >"It's just us... and a friend I brought."
    > you don't reply
    >"I... I touched up your home for you, I hope you like it."
    > you scratch your beard
    "Much better than it was."
    > the yellow pony is in full view, now that the gun is gone
    >"Oh! Oh good... I was thinking about bringing a team of construction ponies to rebuild this city, but I wanted your permission first."
    > you look around the desolate ruins
    > rubble everywhere
    > you sigh and nod
    "Yes, I suppose that would be okay."
    > You feel something soft nuzzle your left arm
    > you tense up and shift to the right
    > you look a the intruding nuzzler
    > it is the yellow and pink pony
    > she seems rather confused, if a little scared
    > you wonder why for a moment before looking down at where she nuzzled you
    > the gauze seems to have not done a good enough job
    > you sigh
    "I'd appreciate it if my personal space didn't get violated, the last offender ran off."
    > you point to the severed stinger
    > the yellow pony looks absolutely mortified at the sight and eeps
    > she runs back to the confused lavender unicorn
    > this meeting was going rather well
    > after all, you hadn't shot anybody yet
    > unlike the last meeting you had
    > your eyes widen quickly
    > you turn to the lavender unicorn and rummage through your rucksack
    > her guards move closer to her
    > you sigh and pull out more gauze and duct tape, as well as antibiotics
    > you undo the bloody gauze from your left arm and toss it
    > you begin wrapping your arm in gauze again before a yellow hoof stops you
    > the softest voice you have ever heard speaks into your ears
    >"Here, let me. You aren't doing it properly."
    > she unwraps the gauze
    >"Do you have alcohol by any chance?"
    > you nod in confusion and rummage through the rucksack and oull out rubbing alcohol
    > she takes it and douses the gauze in it
    > she wraps the alcohol doused gauze around your arm tightly
    > it burns, but you've felt worse in your life
    > she tapes the gauze on and kisses it
    >"There you go, all better."
    > you mumble
    "Thanks."
    > you think for a moment
    "I think it's best if you ponies went homs, dangerous creatures come out in the night. Like that scorpion horse, and wooden wolves."
    > Again, like S.T.A.L.K.E.R. but with unicorns
    > you laugh
    > they all look at you confused
    "I'm safe in here, but it'll get dark."
    > It was only afternoon
    > you assumed they had traveled far
    > unless they could teleport, like they did in your dream
    > you wake up back in the lincoln memorial
    > something ain't right
    > you spring upwards and land on two feet
    > you grip your rifle tightly in your hands, scanning the dark corners for something
    > nothing
    > just anxiety
    > those ponies could come out at any moment and capture you
    > whose to say they won't?
    > you cautiously make your way outside and into the harsh sunlight
    > it blinds you for a moment
    > when your sight returns, you are surprised
    > the entire city is restored
    > even the cars are back
    > you look up and see a bright, transparent pink wall in the sky
    > you look around and realize the entire city is encased in an odd, translucent barrier
    > the hell?
    > there are no ponies around
    > you a prisoner in your own home
    > you knew those god damn ponies would do something
    > but if they restored the entire city...
    > then you could go to the pentagon and find something there to help you break out!
    > technically you don't have clearance, but who's to stop you?
    > your shoulders droop and you sigh
    "The pentagon is probably locked up to hell. No way I could break in there..."
    > you rub your head in frustration
    > guess you'll have to "bargain" with the unicorn
    > you can't stay in here forever
    > youll eventually run out of food
    > though that'd be in about 100 years taking your appetite into account
    > not to mention the amount of food in one city
    "Guess ill have to negotiate..."
    > you still need to get professional help for this arm
    > it doesn't feel good
    > you may be ageless, and you can take a beating, but an infection can bring down the mightiest of things
    > war of the worlds pops into your mind
    > who'd a thought that the common cold could kill those aliens
    > you briefly consider finding a virology lab and exposing the ponies to serious shit
    > like ebola
    > for fucks sakes they kiss the wounds
    > they'd all be dead in two days
    > you chuckle to yourself
    > that one yellow pony seemed nice though
    > she also seemed scared of you
    > considering you look like a vandal savage with a long beard...
    > it doesn't surprise you.
    > you start to walk down the polished black asphalt of the road
    > you run your fingers over the cold metal of a sleek 2013 ford f150
    > god you missed this city.
    > after looting multiple homes and setting off several alarms youyouanage to find an electric razor
    > you quickly scuttle to a mirror and stare at your appearance
    > you gape as you take it all in
    > you need to shave
    > you also need new clothes
    >you bathed in the river, so showering wasn't a big deal
    > you flick on the razor and it starts happily humming
    > after a few hours of frustration and cleaning, you manage to get clean shaven
    > you wash your hair with soap and bottled water you had found
    > glorious water
    > you even find a nice business suit, which you tuck in the lincoln memorial
    > you stick to your now clean jeans and undershirt
    > why would you wear a suit and fedora in an apocalypse
    > you won't become a beta after 5000 years of living in a wasteland
    > you shake your head and clear your thoughts
    > you still had to give these ponies a piece of your mind
    >Eventually, you stumble across a sort of police station
    > you smile deviously
    "Now I can fuck shit up."
    > you open the doors and walk through and into the crisp office air
    "Hope the armory has some decent shit..."
    > you mumble
    > you hum to yourself as you make your way through the station
    > discarded uniforms lay about, as well as several cigarette butts
    > guess they wanted to have a good time before the bomb dropped
    > you shudder
    "Now isn't the time to think about that, anon..."
    >you push through a particular set of heavy doors
    > this room is dark
    > you flick the flashlight on
    > you wave the flashlight around the dark room
    > something catches your eye
    > you shine the flashlight onr the object
    > oh yes
    "This will be fun..."
    > you duct tape the flash light to your shoulder
    > you pick up the object that caught your eye
    > a shotgun
    > winchester lever action to be exact
    > you laugh and pick up a box of shells
    > imaginging leave the barrier and searching for other cities
    > blowing that asshole scorpion cat thing's face off
    > or just having a good time
    > but first, you need to find the bar
    > eventually you stumble across a shoddy bar dubbed 'The Rusty Nail'
    > cliche bar name, but you've heard worse
    > you really didn't want to drink right now,
    > you just wanted some more alcohol for your wounds
    > drunk people and guns never mix well together
    "NRA I'm looking at you!"
    > you half heartedly chuckle
    > you used to be a part of the town's shooting range club
    > it was great...
    > was...
    > your mouth twitches as your face falls into a frown
    > you enter the bar and quickly find what you are looking floor
    > bottles that were marked 'EVERCLEAR' and mountain dew were scattered along the bartop
    "Looks like they wanted to have a good time too..."
    > you swipe a few of the everclear bottles and stuff them into your rucksack
    > time to head home and actually treat your wounds
    > nobody had hydrogen peroxide of course
    > who needs medical treatment?
    > you shake your head and sigh
    > people back then were idiots
    > you walk for some time, eventually coming to your home
    > good old lincoln
    > you look up, and find that the dome is centered on this spot
    > you also notice that the dome appears to have gotten smaller
    > not good
    "I hope that lavender pony comes back, wouldn't want to be killed."
    > imagine that
    > 5000 years of surviving and you get killed by magic...
    > you had fallen asleep
    > you had woken up just as quickly
    > apparently you were tired after hours of scrounging around for goods
    > it was worth it though
    > you pull out one particular object out of your rucksack
    > a plush that resembles one of those pony creatures
    > it looks like the lavender unicorn
    > you shake your head and toss it aside
    > must be some kind of thing messing with your head
    > or youve finally gone nuts
    "So why do you exist...?"
    > you break your stare when something raps on the stone of your wall
    > reminds you off hoof clops
    > you aim your new shotgun at the entrance
    "Come in!"
    > you shout wearily
    > carrying this bag on your back was a chore
    > "Hello anon!"
    > it's lavender horse
    > you don't lower the gun, keeping it trained on her
    "Now why is that barrier thing shrinking?"
    > she taps a hoof on her chin as she thinks
    > "Well... we are researching your town, and the princesses think you are a threat, so we keep you in here!"
    "Princesses...?
    > really?
    > "Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and yours truly!"
    > you shake your head
    "Must be a hell of a time preventing revolts and shit..."
    > she smiles at you
    > "There are no revolts, Anon."
    > what?
    "What?"
    > "Yup, a pony's mind is built in such a way that it tries to avoid violence at all costs. With the rare exception."
    > Fucking herbivors
    > you wonder how the princess came into power, and when they came into power
    > you ask Twilight
    > "Oh yeah, the entire world supposedly froze for a thousand years or so. Ponies appeared during this time for unknown reason, and they were being beaten by creatures called windigoes.
    >"There were three tribes, unicorn, earth pony, and the pegasus story tribes fought amongst eachother."
    > so basically greece but with ponies
    > the ice age was a nuclear winter too
    > interesting how it all works out
    "And the princesses united the three tribes lime Alexander the great did to Greece?"
    >she looks confused
    >"Yes, but who is alexander the great, and what is greece?"
    > holy shit, is she that dense?
    > didn't she go through the library of congress
    >also she wants to keep you in here
    > yeah, that won't fly with you
    > not at all
    > you aim the shotgun at her and pull the trigger
    > you wake up
    > you are laying on the floor of the memorial in a heap of blankets
    > you roll your head over and spot the yellow and pink pony
    > she is looking at you with a worried expression
    >"We came by again and found you passed on on the floor... I hope that it isn't any trouble that we um... put you bacl on your bed..."
    > sweet of her
    > but you'd rather not pass out
    >passing out was no good
    > it was your least favorite thing to do
    > your second least favoritr thing to do was watch the brak show
    > fuck it, you loved that show
    "Mother... Did you move my chair...?"
    > you mumble
    >"Uh... you don't have a chair mister...?"
    > sigh
    "Call me Mr.Anonymous, butter pony..."
    >"My name is buttershy, I mean Fluttershy, eep!"
    > she hides behind her mane somehow
    > ain't that something?
    > you admit that she is rather cute in her own little way
    > you wouldn't have sex with her, bestiality is wrong
    > you can't even imagine what the children would be if it happened...
    "Eugh..."
    > Flutterbutter's ears perk and she looks at you
    >"Oh! Is something the matter? Did you hurt yourself again, oh I'm sorry! I forgot to replace the dressing on your wound..."
    > You raise your hand up and she stops talking
    > she lowers her head a little bit
    >"Sorry..."
    > God damn she is cute
    > the smoothest voice
    > curious that their voices are so melodious....
    > you'd have to inquire a book in the future
    > or you could ask Flutterbutter right here and now
    "Hey Fluttershy, how are your voices so soft and melody-like?"
    > she raises her head and smiles a little
    >"Well... our vocal cords aren't meant for talking, so all ponies are born with inherent magic to alter the properties of them to let us talk!"
    > huh.
    > they must be mutated horses from the nuclear fallout
    > Washington didn't get hit very hard
    > it got hit by missles, but only one was nuclear
    > it was a smaller nuclear missle too
    > radiation killed everybody but you
    > you shiver and close your eyes
    > so many bodies to bury
    > so many people screaming in pain, begging to be put out of their misery
    > and you helped them find a way out of their pain
    > you helped end some of their lives
    > you open your eyes and tear up slightly
    "Not a good day for rain..."
    > Fluttershy looks at you
    >"But it isn't raining anon..."
    > the tears start flowing
    "It is now..."