I haven’t written green in a long time, and never in this thread, but here’s a little green I put together based on a goofy idea awhile back. Enjoy!
……………
>It’s that same place
>You walk past it every fucking day as you stroll through the south side of the market, a good 250 meters or so to the left of Bon Bon’s ultra-passive-aggressive sweet shop
>It was so out of place in a town like Ponyville, a tiny tavern-like structure that sunk into the ground next to the antique store, almost begging not to be seen
>You are Anon
>And you are curious
>Walking with a very talkative purple horse, you try to make out the sign on the door as you go by
>”A.J.F.F.M.”
>Ok that shit just piques the sense of intrigue, and you know you have to check it out
>You start to walk over-
>”Hey Anon! Where are you going? I thought we were heading back, it’s getting dark.”
>You roll your eyes
>Since arriving, you’ve been crashing with Twilight in her sell-more-toys castle
>And because of that, and your lack of a job, and reversed-gender notions of these crazy tiny horses, she believes she has to-
>Ahem. You do your best in Twilight voice in your head, playing back the memory
>’Support the poor alien colt, who needs a strong mare to be the rock for him to lean on.’
>Ugh
>So needless to say she’s been treating you like a “proper stallion, m’lord”
>You turn to her
“Yeah I was just gonna check this place out Twi, we walk by it almost EVERY day so I just wanna see what it is. Could be like, one of those cool ma-and-pa restaurants that’s really tiny but really good or somethin’.”
>Her eyes widen
>”You want to go in to A.J.F.F.M.?! Anon that is no place for a stallion let alone a-“
>Please don’t bow
>Nope she bowed like a sperg out in public, spaghetti rocketing everywhere now
>”Proper gentlecolt. If you want to go out why don’t we just head to that Mareisian place you like-“
“Nah I’ll just be like a minute, Twi.”
>Her eyes narrow
>”No. I said it’s not safe.”
>You stare each other down
>And you bolt
>She doesn’t manage to catch you as you rip the cumbersome door open and slam it in her face
>You scramble to find a lock, and see a rusted-
>KER-CHLINK
>Oh still works, rad
>Props to you going commando today too, good call
>Free-ballin’ gives you that slight edge of speed
>You can barely hear Twi raging on the other side of the door
>”OPEN UP ANON THIS ISN’T FUNNY! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW YOU COLT OR I’LL-“
>Well someone’s teats are twisted
>You turn around an investigate the room
>It looks like a dilapidated reception area, with old-timey furniture and décor straight from the 20s and 30s, but somewhat dirtied and gritty
>You can hear club music in the background
>You kinda like it
>You stroll forward to see a bored-looking blue and pink mare leaning on the front desk
>Her ears perk up when she sees you, and her tail whips up a storm
>D’aw
>”W-well hi there! I’m Checkered Sapphire and welcome to A.F.F.J.M.! Hee! You got the bits mare?”
“Actually I’m a guy. Er- stallion.”
>She looks like somebody just glassed her upside the head
>”O-o-ooooooooooooooooooooh. Ok. Cutie, you aren’t looking for some scumbag marefriend here are you?”
>Her eyes go from piteous to sultry
>”Because I know how tough it can be, seeing that. Maybe you need a tougher, more friendly mare at your side. Maybe walk ya home dear?”
>She struts over to you whilst trying to imitate a human woman, strutting and swaying her hips
>Unfortunately, she is as graceful as a whale being thrown down a hill and her hooves clack obnoxiously loudly on the floor
>CLACK-CLACK-CLACK
>Fuck you have a migraine coming on
>She leans in close to you, stretching up on her tippy-hooves to reach your chest level
>”Or, maybe the prince can come back to my castle?”
>Oh fuck
>Her breath is hot and wet, as she gets right up in your face
>Smells like a mix of liquor, peanut butter, and musk
>”Because that’s how colts like it, right? It’s not bad to just pin one down and-“
>Ok too far
>Ma-anon didn’t raise a horse-fucker
>You gently grab her hooves and set her down onto four legs
“I just wanted to check this place out miss, so I’ll have to turn down your- um…”
>She sways provocatively
>Or clumsily
“Offer. But I do want to come inside-“
>”Me?!”
“What?! No, inside this place.”
>”Oh.”
>She looks crestfallen for a minute, then perks back up
>”Well head on in, it’s on me. And you can be on me too coltie~”
“Uh yeah I’ll just head in.”
>You move past the curtain as she admires your posterior
>And-
>Oh
>Oh
>OH
>That’s why Twi didn’t want you to come here
>This is a-
>”Hey- hey you (hic) you want to saddle up?”
>A drunken mare has approached and-
>Oh yup that is indeed a female- yeesh that’s up close
>You move around the presenting mare and look at your surroundings
>It’s… well….
>This looks a lot like a club
>An unsavory club
>Stallions, dressed in what appear to be bras for their “bits” and a really odd ornamental cover for their-
>Thing
>Were dancing around poles and getting friendly to mares who had a lot of money
>Some you recognized, like Berry Punch, but most of them looked like a mix of just regular townsfolk and sleazy underbelly types
>It was crowded too
>Was this the town’s dirty secret?
>You move around various patrons and workers, some sizing you up and immediately putting together that you must be a fine piece of meat
>”Ey there big fella, want to try out of these bad fillies?”
>A shady-looking mare puts up a teat
>Ew
>But you had to say it
“So I’m a big guy.”
>”Yeah, you are one scrumptious, big colt~”
“4U.”
>You move on
>Can’t let the hotheads keep you down
>Maybe this place wouldn’t be so bad with a drink
>After all, you’ve probably got time before Twi has a nuclear meltdown outside
>You zig and zag towards the bar, taking a seat at an ancient stool that is a tad too small for you
>Still, you can appreciate the scenery
>It’s kinda got a Prohibition-era speakeasy vibe to it, with dim lighting and plenty of early 20th century design mixed with splotches of modernity
>You order a drink from a stallion whom keeps getting harassed by a couple of mares who “accidentally” keep spilling their drinks on him, getting him all moist
>You take a sip
>It ain’t bad
>Weak, but tangy, with a light touch of peanut butter
>Maybe this is what the reception mare drinks
>THUD
>You feel a pound on your back, and turn to see a beaming cobalt mare
>She was clearly a step above the patrons, as she was well dressed, and her indigo and lemon mane was done up tidily
>She took a seat next to you at the bar, eyes filled with-
>Excitement?
>Hard to tell
>”You’re that new colt I heard about, the freaky alien one.”
>Her voice is soothing and rhythmic, though she has to raise it a bit to be heard over the song being played currently, a jazz piece with high zings and crescendos
>”Name is Glisten Sapphire. I’m the owner of A.J.F.F.M.”
“Sapphire? Like the mare at the front desk?”
>”Ha-ha, yeah, she’s my sister, sorry if she got too close for comfort she has a bad habit of being too eager.”
>Glisten leans in, and you feel slightly less comfortable
>”But she’s doing her job if she let you bounce in here, you fine piece of work.”
>She lays a hoof on your shoulder
>Now this is uncomfortable
“Uh, yeah. So, this place is an um-“
>”Entertainment center.”
>She glares for a few seconds
>”Don’t forget that.”
“Right, so what does A.J.F.F.M. stand for?”
>”Should be obvious honey-bunny.”
>She perks her eyebrows and whispers into your ear
>”A Joint For Frustrated Mares. I just thought the acronym was a little nicer for the public.”
>Ok you need some space, she’s practically on top of you now
>You scoot back a bit, and she leans back onto her stool, clearly disappointed but still showing a resolve
>”So, can I ask a favor?”
>You let out a “hm?” while sipping
>”This place hasn’t been doing as well as normal, but I’m looking to get it back on the right track. I think we need a bit more variety in here, a little more spice-“
>You did not like where this was going
>”-so I thought, maybe some new talent will bring in mares and their ‘entourage.’ You know? Fresh sights, smells, the works. And then this alien colt stumbles in, innocuous as can be, and I hatched a little idea-“
“No.”
>”But why not?”
>She mock-pouted at you
“I am not stripping for you.”
>”Oh don’t use that dreadful word! It’s more like… hm… presenting really. And it’s just one night, and if you don’t like it you still get paid.”
>Paid
>Shit
>You did want to make some of your own money
>You’ve been doing odd jobs to save up from moving out of the castle, but progress has been glacial at best
>This may be a way to expedite that
>Fuck damn it
“Pay? How much?”
>Her expression changes, and she lights up like Derpy on a tree
>”200 bits for tonight.”
>That’s generous
>But she’s desperate
>Renegade time
“No less than 400.”
>”B-but that’s double what I usually pay newbies.”
“And humans aren’t exactly lining up to be here. You’ll make plenty back. I’m exotic.”
>She thinks for a minute
>”Fine. You drive a hard bargain you know that? But-“
>She leans in on you again, wrapping her fore-legs around your head
>”You may just perform the CPR this place needs, and have these mares drop a lot of money in tips. Of course, this establishment isn’t the only thing that could go mouth-to-mouth-“
>She starts to lick your ear
>Ugh
>You stand up quickly and she almost tumbles to the floor
“This is gonna be quick. No weird stuff.”
>”That’s fine. Just down to the colt panties is fine. I’ll tell the others to put away the octopus for a different time.”
>EWWWWWWWWW
>Fuck let’s get this over with
>You make your way to the stage as Glisten Sapphire bolts to the sound system’s microphone
>”Mares and gentlecolts! We have a new performer tonight, one who is sure to shock you with exoticism and- ahem- eroticism.”
>Her awkward joke goes mildly applauded
>”He will be doing a classic performance followed by a brief interaction-based period-“
>The fuck did she mean by that?
>You were in the back getting prepped on what’s to happen from a stallion in drag
>Is that-
“Caramel?”
>The stallion’s eyes become medallions
>Yup, gotcha
>”N-n-n-no! I’m Hot Mocha, a performer here! Whatever do you speak of?!”
>Oh, stage-names!
>Right
>Wait, then what’s your-
>”Introducing Monkey Fever! He’s bringing the banana and coconuts today!”
>The crowd goes wild as they immediately piece together who it is
>Being that you are the only human and all
>Fuck life
>Caramel shoves you on-stage, and a few of the friskier female patrons whistle and cheer
>”Get a load of that flank!”
>”Just show your balls already, I’m half-way!”
>”Somebody get some salad dressing!”
>”Bend over! You dropped something behind you!”
>”I want to take that tie you’re wearing and choke you with it till you’re blue in the face, wriggling for life underneath me, all sweaty as I feel up your-“
>Everyone stares at the mare being weird
>Stop being weird weird-O
>Oh it’s that one that presented to you
>Well, good to know she’s the one who likes weird stuff
>Best to steer clear of that
>Or not
>Whatever you like, really
>Glisten speaks once more
>”R-right. Anyway, do your thing Monkey Fever!”
>The maneuvers don’t prove to be hard
>It’s mostly just strutting, dancing, and smiling to a few of the up close patrons
>Bits fly as you go on
>You take off your suit piece by piece as you go, till you’re just down to-
>Oh no
>Your pants
>It hit you what she said earlier
>”Just down to the colt panties is fine.” Remember?
>Problem is-
>You went commando today
>No undies
>Oh shit
>You looks over to see Glisten beaming and waving at you
>She knew
>She had to know
>You continue to go on but the crowd grows restless, and shout for ‘moar’ become more frequent
>Just keep going, just keep going-
>The crowd is in a fever pitch now, demanding the last article be removed
>You plead with your eyes at Glisten
>She smiles
>That bit-
>All of a sudden you can feel a magic tug on you as your pants begin to rip
>Oh fucking shit
>Suddenly several mares get on stage and many more use magic and touch you
>Inappropriately
>You can feel your pants coming off
>You can also feel a tie loop around your neck and pull
>You look out to see the weird mare staring at you lustily, horn glowing
>You’ve got to be kidding me
………….
>Be Twi Horse
>You must defend your husbando’s honor
>You finally found out the weakness to the door
>You can’t magically blast it open, but you can use magic to just unlock it from the outside
>Now you feel kinda silly
>You barge in, galloping past an empty reception desk and go down and see-!
>It’s worse than expected!!!
>Way worse!!!
>Defend the fair colt!!!
>You are Anon again
>You wake up groggily
>Weird mare must’ve choked you out
>You can feel yourself being pulled across the stage by someone, moving you off to the side as Twi seems to be admonishing mares on-stage
>They don’t look all that sorry though
>You dazedly look up to see Glisten hovering over you
>”So…. See you Monday then?”
>She smiles
>You sigh
>It’s a long walk home with Twi