The grocery bags hit the kitchen table with a muted thud, and Hanako hit the chair next to her with much the same sound. She'd had to walk all over town to get the ingredients for this dish – why did Hisao's favorite food have to be some weird western dish she'd never heard of? - but she'd found them. It'd been... Hard. She did it, though! She went out all by herself and didn't have a panic attack. It was for him - there was nothing she couldn't do if it wasn't for him. Sighing, Hanako let the stress of the trip roll off her shoulders as she lazily sifted through the things on top of the table, seeking out the recipe she'd printed off earlier.
 
Finding it, she pulled it over and began to flip through it. 'Beef stroganoff.' She'd never heard of it, but looking through the ingredients – beef, noodles, cream – it seemed pretty basic. Just beef laid over noodles and mushrooms in a cream sauce. She could see why it was his favorite. Not that he had any idea that she knew, or that she was making it.
 
That's what birthday surprises were for!
 
She looked up at the clock. She had a few hours before Hisao got home, more than enough time for the cooking, so she started to set up the apartment.
 
-
 
Several hours later, she dusted her hands off and triumphantly placed them on her hips. She'd managed to finish almost her entire to-do list.
 
Apartment cleaned: Check.
Table set: Check.
Candles lit and placed throughout the house: Check.
Music playing softly in the background: Check.
Present wrapped and placed on the table: Check.
 
She was getting pretty good at this homemaking stuff. She'd make a good wife someday, if she said so herself. That line of thought brought with it a mental image of Hisao proposing, causing her to blush and giggle to herself nervously. That, in turn, brought a thought of her in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle.
 
Everyone looking at her.
 
Everyone looking at her sc-
 
Hanako bustled over to the bags, preventing herself from finishing that thought by rifling through her purchases and setting them out on the table with far more care and order than was warranted. She was getting better. She was better. But everyone had low points, and she was no different. And that's all it was, low points.
 
-
 
“Hana! I'm home!”
 
The door shut with a soft click, quickly followed by the satisfying clack of the deadbolt being drawn. Sighing in relief, Hisao rolled his shoulders and hung up his coat on the hangers, allowing his bag to fall to rest on the floor. He'd take care of it later.
 
Swapping his shoes out for house slippers, he rounded the corner to the kitchen and face-first into a sobbing Hanako flinging her arms around his neck.
 
“Oh god, Hisaaaaaao....” She blubbered into his neck. “I'm sorry! I'm sorry i'm sorry i'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry! Iwasgoingtomakeyoudinnerforyourbirthdayandiscreweditupandi'msorry!”
 
Used to the routine, Hisao shushed her and stroked her hair softly until she calmed down. “Hana, it's okay. It's okay. Don't worry.” He pulled her away slightly and kissed her on the forehead before smiling lopsidedly. “However, I didn't catch a word of that. Whatever it is, the apartment's still standing, so I doubt it's that bad. Slow down and try again?”
 
She flushed dark red and took a few deep breaths, her voice quavering and weak. “Well, y-you know... It's y-your birthday... A-And you told me t-that your favorite f-food was beef st-st-stroganoff so I was going to make it and I messed it up and now we don't have anything to eat and IruinedyourbirthdayandI'msosorrypleasedon'thatemeHisaooooooooo!”
 
The end of her sentence was quickly overtaken by frantic sobs yet again, less from her emotional turmoil and more out of an effort to excrete her anxiety in any way she could, to empty herself of it so she could be functional again. Hisao was again used to the routine, and quietly held her as her sobbing slowed.
 
He took that moment to examine the scene before him. The table was set, candles were lit, and the entire apartment was spotless. On the center of the table sat a small box, the wrapping paper and bow implying that it was for him to open later that night. However, the most important thing in the room sat on top of the stove – a small pan, smoking slightly. The burner seemed to be off, and there was no damage that he could see. All told, not that bad.
 
Hanako had regained her composure, such that it was, by now, and stepped away from him slightly, still sniffling and looking abashed. “I'm sorry about your birthday. I just wanted it to be special.” Her eyes were glued to the space between her feet, not even able to make eye contact with the love of her life out of shame.
 
So of course she was caught totally off guard when Hisao's arms swept around her and warm lips were pressed firmly to her own. She let herself fall into the feeling, kissing back passionately for a second before remembering that she was ashamed and pulling away tentatively. Hisao's grin greeted her when she finally looked at him.
 
“It's far from ruined, Hana. You're here, and you thought enough of me to do all this for me. That's the furthest thing from ruined that I can think of.” He lead her over to the table and urged her to sit down, before rifling through the cabinets next to her. “We've got ramen in here. Let's have that tonight, we'll have a special dinner another night.” Hisao's eyes poked out from the inside of the cabinet. “Or we can skip dinner tonight.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Hanako to turn even redder than before and laugh.
 
This laughter wasn't born of nerves, or anxiety. It was genuine mirth – Hisao was hamming it up on purpose, clowning around for her benefit. Ordinarily, that would make her more self-conscious, that someone was modifying their behaviour to suit her, but... Hisao was different. When he did it... It helped.
 
It helped a lot.
 
So she giggled again and played along, reaching forward to gently pinch his bottom – her giggle gaining volume when he hit his head on the top of the cabinet in surprise and giving him a lascivious stage wink when he looked back at her accusingly.
 
It wasn't something she would have done before meeting him. It wasn't even something she could have thought of doing. She'd be mortified about it in the morning. But until then, it was Hisao's birthday. And life was good.
 
She sighed and got up, going over and deftly pulling out the twin packets of ramen that had somehow eluded her boyfriend's detection despite being right under his nose. Ushering him back to the table to sit and open his present – a first edition of Life of Pi, not that he knew that – she grabbed another pot. Over at the stove, she started the ramen boiling, and came face to face with her earlier failed attempt at dinner.
 
She looked at it for a second, pensive. Not paralyzed, like she might have been once upon a time, but merely pensive. Then the spell was broken, and the burnt contents of the pan were thrown out without a second thought.
 
She didn't need to worry about it. Life was good.