>Day 3 in Equestria
 
>You wake up in the comfy as shit guest bed.
>As you step out of bed, you feel a crinkle under your feet.
>It's the pile of newspaper Twilight graciously left for you.
>She said she wanted to give you a choice!
>...
>Anyways, you notice that purple psycho p0ne and also purple dragon slave are both fast asleep.
>The sun's up, so you don't feel bad waking up yet.
>A little time to yourself is always a good thing.
>You walk downstairs and into the kitchen.
>Let's get some grub!
>You scour the cabinets for some delicious food.
>Flowers, grain, oats...
>Everything you could ever want...*sigh*
>You then happen upon the stash of apples.
>SCORE!
>Looks like the stash is running out though.
>You do eat quite a few apples...
>You'll have to find out how to repay her for the food.
>And lodgings.
>Sans the fact it's her fault you're here in the first place.
>Maybe she owes you...
>Eh. You aren't sick of this place yet.
>But an abundance of pastel magic horses would drive even the toughest of men crazy.
 
>Grabbing an apple, you sit down at the table in the main room.
>You glance out the window at the sunrise.
>Beautiful day outside!
>Doubt Twi would let you go outside.
>Who says you need her permission?
>You're a grown man, you can go outside if you want to!
>You finish your apple, tossing that core in the nearby trashcan.
>2 points, bitch.
>Get ready, outside, here I come!
>You strut up to the door and swing it open.
>The fresh air is wonderful, it's the perfect spring breeze.
>The sun is shining gloriously in the sky.
>Birds are chirping in the distance.
>And a turquoise pony with a harp on it's butt looks at you in shock.
>"WHAT THE HECK?!"
>Oh right, you're an alien.
>After staring at it awkwardly for about 3 seconds, you slam the door shut.
>You've had enough outside for one day.
 
>Shortly after, Twilight wakes up, and walk downstairs.
>"*yawn* Good morning, Anon."
"Morning."
>If she finds out you were outside, you're as good as a magical prisoner.
>It was bad enough when she was just trying to learn things yesterday.
>Imagine if she get's MAD?
>Magic + Anger = You're fucked, kid.
>She walks into the kitchen.
>"Man, you sure do eat a lot of apples."
"Is that a fat joke?"
>"Are you fat for your species?"
>A little.
"Nah."
>Lying bastard.
>She walks out with a rosepetal sandwich.
>You remember eating rosepetal candy once in your life.
>Maybe it actually tastes good?
>"So, I think we're gonna try some experiments today!"
>Wat.
"E-experiments?"
>You see the most sinister glint in her eye.
>Oh. Shit.
>"Yeah, nothing major...a little shock therapy...maybe an incision or two..."
>Oh HELL no.
"I'm not a freakin' lab rat!"
>"Of course not, you're a lab human!"
>Dammit dammit dammit!
 
>Twi magi-grabs your shirt collar and starts dragging you away.
>"I promise, it won't hurt a bit. Sedatives are quite powerful!"
>You need a miracle to save you from the incoming torture!
>There's a knock at the door.
>Ho-ly shit, thank you whatever that is.
>She drops you on the ground, your head slamming the wood.
>Fucking ow.
>While you cope with the sudden pain, she trots over to the door, swinging it open.
>"Hello?"
>"Hello Twilight..."
>A very soft voice squeaks into the treehouse.
>"I wanted to, uh, tell you about..."
>You look up to see what made said squeak.
>It's a yellow p0ny!
>This one doesn't have a horn, however.
>It has wings!
>The wings are blaringly obvious the moment she sees you.
>With a shrill gasp, she uses the aforementioned wings to fly at you at breakneck speeds, stomping on your chest.
>Smashing your head into the floor.
>Again.
 
>"Hello there, big guy! I've never met a creature like YOU before!"
>That soft squeakiness is long gone.
>For a p0ny that looks absolutely delicate, she feels like 3 damn tons on your sternum.
"Uh...hello..."
>"OH! You talk! That's amazing! I'm Fluttershy, what's your name?"
"A...Anon...could you..."
>"It's SO nice to meet you Anon, I never see any animals like you around here!"
"..get...off..."
>"Hm? What's that?"
"..."
>She then notices you can't breathe.
>You're just about out of air.
>She floats up like she's made of paper.
>Sure didn't FEEL like paper.
>You take some deep breaths to make up for the lost oxygen.
>Does this air even CONTAIN oxygen?
>Now's not the time to think about those things!
>"OH MY, I'm so s-sorry, really, I, uh, didn't know I was hurting you, and I was j-just so interested, I've never seen any animals like you anywhere, a-and..."
>She looks and sounds like she's going to erupt into spaghetti.
"It's fine, really, I understand. It's nice to meet you."
>You rub the multiple lumps now present on the back of your head.
 
>"So why are you here, Fluttershy?"
>Twi's clearly had enough of p0ny after p0ny gawking at her giant scientific fuck-up.
>A.K.A. You.
>Think of yourself more highly!
>"Oh, right... was gonna, um, warn you about..."
>She points out the window.
>"...that."
>Twilight steps over to the window.
>"WHAT?!?!"
>She damn near faints!
>You walk over to the window to catch a glimpse yourself.
>What you see is an absolute ocean of technicolor p0nies.
>And they are all yelling.
>In the front, that turquoise one from before leads the pack.
>YOU DUN GOOFED KID.
"Wow, that's...uh...a lot of p0nies."
>That's an understatement.
>P0nies of all different colors.
>Some have horns, some have wings, some have neither.
>You're almost certain some of them may be...
>*gasp*
>Male!
 
>"I noticed Lyra screaming about something at your treehouse...she sounded a little, well, crazy...so I was worried..."
>She looks to you.
>"I sure hope what she was talking about isn't you!"
>She flaps over to you, and flies eye level with you.
>"You wouldn't harm a fly, would you Anon?"
>She seems to be a good judge of character!
"Yeah, try convincing Twilight of that."
>Twilight just rolls her eyes.
>Still paranoid.
>"Well, we can tell those p0nies that there's nothing to worry about. Let's just-"
>Suddenly, a crash is heard from upstairs.
>A blue blur, streaked with rainbows, flies into the room, stopping in the center.
>"Don't worry Twilight, I'll protect you from the monster!!!"
>Another female.
>Another crazy fucking female.
>Bitches, amirite fellas?
>She catches a glimpse of you.
>"STOP RIGHT THERE, FREAK!"
>Before you can get a word in edgewise, she flies at you and tackles you to the ground.
>Slamming your head into the wood paneling.
>You're starting to see a pattern here.
 
>"Listen you monster, you aren't gonna hurt my friends!"
>You start getting pummeled with marshmellow hooves to the face.
>You'd laugh at the concept at first.
>Except they hit like a fucking brick.
>She gets about three shots in before Twilight magically tears her from you.
>"Let me at him, let me at him!"
>The blue one is swinging at the air, ferociously trying to get at you.
>Fucking.
>Psycho.
>Flying.
>Magic.
>P0NIES.
>"Rainbow Dash, no! He's not a monster!"
>Fluttershy tries desperately to calm her down.
>"But everyone outside said there's a monster in here!"
>"Well they're wrong!"
>Twilight is clearly not happy with you being found out.
>"But it's so WEIRD looking!"
>You finally recover from your pummelling enough to sit up and respond.
"I'M weird looking?!? You look like a crayon box threw up on a bird!"
>"WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUNK?!"
>She desperately tries to get at you, almost breaking free of the magic bonds Twilight is so used to putting on things recently.
>Satisfied with rustling her jimmies, you set your head back down on the cold wood.
>Those fucking punches hurt.
 
>"Look, Rainbow, he's not a monster. He's a weird looking thing from another dimension, he's not going to kill us, and right now, I REALLY could use your help, so I would APPRECIATE IT if
 
you calmed the buck down!"
>Boy, Twilight's scary when mad.
>And it's not aimed at you!
>Awesome.
>"...fine, but I don't trust him."
"You don't have to, just don't PUNCH me."
>You finally manage to stand up again.
>"Alright. If Twilight says you're good, you're good."
>This is p0ny number two to be persuaded by Twilight.
>How much sway does this p0ny hold over the others?
>"So, uh, sorry about all that."
>The blue p0ny, apparently named Rainbow Dash, rubs the back of her head.
>Shaking off the rest of the pain, you accept.
"It's alright, I know you were just concerned for them."
>"Yeah, I'd fight anything for my friends!"
>Twilight sighs.
>"Just because you CAN doesn't mean you should."
>Rainbow blushes.
>"Yeah, heh, I'll cool it down a bit..."
 
>"So aside from the utter fascination with this mistake of creation, and the wave of p0nies come to see/kill him..."
>Twi rubs a hoof on her forehead.
>She must be getting a headache from all this crap.
>You would be too, if the headache wasn't already caused by getting beat up.
>By a p0ny.
>You'll never let yourself live it down.
>"...is there anything we can do?"
>The three p0nies start pondering.
>"Well, we need to bring him somewhere safe."
>"Somewhere where those crazy p0nies won't find him!"
>Crazy p0nies have already found you. They're standing in front of you right now.
>"Um...how about we take him to Sweet Apple Acres...I'm sure Applejack could hide him..."
>"That's a great idea, Fluttershy!"
>Twilight looks at you.
>"Fluttershy is going to lead you there."
>Sweet Apple Acres...Applejack...
>This must be where she got all those delicious apples!
>How could you deny this plan?
"Got it."
>Twi turns her attention to Rainbow.
>"We need to hold off all these p0nies while they escape."
>Rainbow salutes her clear superior.
>"Yes boss!"
 
>Fluttershy guides you to the upstairs window.
>"Go ahead Anon, I'll be right behind you."
>You bid Twilight and Rainbow farewell.
"Thanks you guys!"
>"No problem, dude. Now get going!"
>Rainbow looks raring and ready to hold off a crowd.
>Must be all that pent up energy from not getting to beat you up.
>With that, you step out of the window.
>Wait, isn't the the upstairs window?
>Your suspicions are confirmed as you're halfway done with falling to the ground from the second story.
>...
>You never though grass could hurt this much.
>"Ohmygosh Anon, I'm so sorry, I just, maybe, thought you could fly, and I um, didn't think, um..."
"WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU THE IMPRESSION I COULD FLY?!?"
>Boy that was loud.
>Maybe a bit too loud.
>Fluttershy retreats into her hair, and you can hear a faint scared sob.
>Oh you fucking douchebag.
"No wait, sorry! You had no way of knowing, I should have though about it before leaping from a window!"
>She thinks you can fly, and sends you plummeting two stories, and you're apologizing to HER?
>Such a pushover.
>Shut up, you know I can't handle crying girls.
>It's a p0ny.
>A girl p0ny, now shut it.
>Whatever, sap.
 
"C'mon, uh, Fluttershy! We need to get going before that mob eats me alive!"
>She's far too distressed to move.
>Oh come on man, this is you fault anyhow, fix this!
>How do you console a crying girl on Earth?
>HOW WOULD I KNOW, I BARELY TALK TO GIRLS!
>No wonder you make them cry, douchebag.
>You are NOT HELPING.
>Fluttershy is still sitting there, about to burst into tears.
>Think man, think!
>You do the only thing you can think of.
>You bend down and give her a hug.
"I'm sorry, I really didn't try to be mean!"
>The sobbing stops. Awesome!
>You let go and look at her.
>She still looks down, but the waterworks have ceased.
"Fluttershy, apparently Sweet Apple Acres is the only safe place I can be right now, and I need your help to get there."
>She looks up at you.
>"...o-okay."
>She gets up, flicks her hair out of her face, and starts trotting towards your destination.
>"C'mon, it's this way!"
>You jog after her.
 
>Once you two are a good distance away from the mob of p0nies, Fluttershy slows down to a walk.
>As you both tread down a dirt path, you can't help but notice her waving at all the passing woodland creatures.
>What's even more odd is that they seem to wave back.
>She really does love animals.
>Is that why she wasn't scared of you?
>She thought you were just another animal.
>Then again, wild animals don't yell at people for making mistakes.
>Jerk.
>You continue walking down the path with her. She hasn't spoken a word since you left the town.
>She won't even look at you directly.
>Did you really hurt her that bad?
>She's a bit sensitive.
>In the distance, you can see a red barn appear on a hill.
>"T-that's it..."
>She won't even look at you when talking to you.
"Excellent! Glad you helped me get here."
>Fishing for conversation much?
>You're just trying to make sure she's not scared of you.
>"N-no problem...we're almost there..."
>She's still stammering.
>It doesn't sounds like a scared stammer though.
>Maybe...embarassed?
>As you two walk to the barn, you can't help but wonder.
>How many woodland creatures give hugs?