>Still Day 31 in Equestria
 
>You're walking home after a pleasant experience at Fluttershy's.
>Well, for the most part.
>You got some bits, and pretty sure you prevented a filly from starving.
>Or eating one of the chickens.
>You shudder to think what one might do in desperation.
>However, Fluttershy face-first in cake was your queue to leave.
>She can have all the cake she wants...
>The walk back to your home is peaceful.
>It still being midday, you have the whole rest of the day to kick back and relax.
>Something you haven't been at liberty to do for a while.
>Gotta love lazy days!
>A few p0nies wave as you pass through town.
>It's nice how they are getting used to you.
>A certain minty p0ny waves and...
>Winks?
>Is she biting her lip?
>Oh god, she's flirting with you.
>Smile and wave...
>Just smile and wave...
>Eventually, you come to your front door.
>Swinging it open, you step inside.
>"Welcome home!"
 
>Wait, that wasn't inner dialogue telling you that you were home.
>That was spoken!
>Looking around, you see a hatless Applejack sitting at your table.
>Welp, that explains it.
"Hey there, Applejack."
>Definitely looks different without the trademark hat.
"Where's the hat?"
>She laughs.
>"Well, sugarcube, I was gonna ask you."
>Oh right.
>You stole her hat when you ran through town naked this morning.
>Away from HER barn.
>Which you still have no idea how you ended up there.
>You know what?
>Enough ignorance.
>Time to find out what happened!
"I have your hat, AJ."
>"Oh good! Was startin' ta get worried."
"But first, I need-"
>Before you can finish you sentence, she blurts out.
>"Why did ya take it anyhow?"
>Damn, she interrupted your question with a question.
"Well, uh...I was sort of NAKED."
>"Anon, we don't usually wear clothes."
>She still doesn't fucking get it.
"Well, I DO."
>"What're ya tryin' ta cover up anyways?"
>As she says this, her eyes dart lower for a split second.
>A slight grin emerges.
>SHE KNOWS.
>You woke up naked in the oh so comfy hay, after all.
>Maybe she doesn't know WHAT it is.
>Or maybe she's not a fucking dumbass.
>Like you.
 
"Well, let me get your hat. It's in my room."
>"Anon, this is yer house! Ain't every room yours?"
>Okay, admittedly, she has a point.
"My BED room."
>You walk past her and up the stairs.
>As you open the door, AJ runs past you and into your bedroom.
>Damnit.
>"Sure is nice in here!"
>Inspecting the room, she peers out the window.
>"Ah can see Pinkie Pie from here."
"Yeah, don't remind me."
>Eventually, she spies her hat lying on your bed.
>She jumps on and puts on the hat.
>And everything was right with the world.
>"Hmmm..."
>She lets out a disappointed groan as she stands on your bed.
"What is it?"
>"This ain't nearly as soft as the hay."
>You can't help but laugh at that.
>It's true.
>Okay, she has her hat now, time for some questions.
"Applejack, I need to know why I woke up in your barn last night."
>This clearly doesn't sit well with AJ, her eyes darting around the room.
>"WELL, uh...ya see..."
>You knew this wouldn't be easy.
>After all, if it wasn't some big secret, she'd just-
>"You stumbled in after a night at the bar with Rainbow!"
>What.
 
"I'm pretty sure that's not it."
>After a moment of silence and awkward glances, AJ lights up.
>"Nah, after you an' Dash hit the bottle, you stumbled in here more walleyed than Derpy."
>She's...you're certain that's not it...
>...but it sounds so damn possible.
"Really? I haven't been to the bar in a while..."
>"Ahm pretty sure this is why."
>She nods confidently.
>Dammit.
>Airtight logic.
>You decide to give up on this line of questioning.
>Clearly it's going nowhere.
"Well, ya got your hat back."
>"Yep! Right where it belongs."
>She adjusts the stetson to a perfect angle.
>...
>Well now what do you say?
>'Please get out of my room'?
>Seems a bit unhospitable to the mare who housed you for so long.
>She seems to understand this well, as she's already curled up on your bed.
>Wait, WHAT?
>"Ah suppose this ain't too bad compared to the hay."
>She smiles lightly as she gets comfortable.
>Okay, find an excuse.
>Find a REASON.
>Anything to get you out of here...
>BINGO!
"Well, feel free to stick around, but I need to go."
>She looks up.
>"Oh, where ya goin'?"
"My best set of clothes MYSERIOUSLY disappeared, so I need to go get some new ones."
>AJ's eyes dart around the room once more.
>Aha!
>She DOES know something about it!
 
>"Well, uh..."
>Not much to say, eh Applejack?
>You'll get the truth eventually...
"If you wanna stick around, be my guest!"
>May as well let her stay as long as she wants.
>Hospitality returned!
>As you walk down the stairs, Applejack follows.
>"Alrighty then, I'll, uh, see ya around."
>Applejack silently steps out the door.
>Hm.
>She sounded...disappointed.
>Ah well, you have matters to take care of which you didn't totally just make up.
>Like clothes.
>And since your best set mysteriously vanished, there's only one mare who can make you a replacement.
>You step outside, and walk down Mane Street a bit.
>Okay, you have no idea if it's called Mane Street or not.
>It just seemed like a proper pun to apply to the situation.
>You've been thinking of them since you showed up in p0ny-land.
>What other puns could you pull out of the stable?
>HA!
>If one of the girls tells you a story, it's a p0ny-tail!
>HA!
>What happens if a p0ny talks too much? Their voice could get...a little horse!
>HA!
>Oh look, you're here.
>Carousel Boutique.
 
>*knock knock knock*
>...
>No answer.
>That's odd, Rarity is usually quite prompt to answer the door.
>No sign either, so she's not out on business.
Hm.
>*knock knock knock*
>...
>The door swings open.
"Hello Rar-"
>Not Rarity.
>Not ANYONE.
>The door just swung open on it's own.
>Peering inside, none of the lights are on.
"Hello...?"
>You speak inside.
>No answer.
>Until you hear something!
>It's soft.
>Does curiosity take the better of you?
>...
>Yes.
>You step inside, closing the door behind you.
"Rarity?"
>This time, you hear something distinctly coming from the next room.
>It sounds like...crying?
>That's not good.
 
>You walk towards the door to the next room.
>The light from the other side creeps under the door's frame.
>Are you sure you want to do this?
>These ponies are fucking nuts sometimes.
>But...this is Rarity.
>The most...what's the word.
>Upperclass?
>Well-mannered?
>Sane?
>In any case, this is the mare that helped you get started.
>All those bits, just tossed at you.
>You can't NOT help.
>You push the door open slowly.
"Rarity...?"
>As you poke your head in, you see an absolute mess.
>Papers and designs are strewn everywhere.
>Mannequins are covered in stripped fabric.
>Measuring tape and supplies are on the floor and everywhere else.
>In the middle of it all is Rarity, magically scribbling onto some graph paper.
>"Maybe if I....add...no, then it'll...what if I..."
>She babbles to herself while drawing something.
>After a few moments, she throws her arms up.
>"AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
>The piece of paper magically crumples up and it thrown across the room.
>"Why can't I do this?!?"
>Burying her head in her hooves, she starts to cry.
>Okay, time to step in.
 
>You swing the door open fully.
"Rarity!"
>She jerks her head out of her hooves, staring at you.
>A blush creeps across her face.
>After a split second, you're magically shoved outside and the door is slammed shut.
>That went...well?
>A few seconds later, after some loud clanging and rustling from behind the door, Rarity emerges.
>She is a wreck.
>Her mascara is running, her hair is all messy.
>You'd never expect her to carry herself like this...
>"You..."
>She shuffles a bit.
>"...weren't supposed to see that."
>More awkward silence.
>You can't take it.
"Rarity, what's going on?"
>"Oh nothing, nothing at all! I was just, ah, coming up with some new designs."
>A fake smile flashes across her face, gone as quickly as it came.
>Her head falls to face the floor.
>"It's...not going so well..."
>She sniffles, then wipes away some of the running mascara with her hoof.
>If this isn't one of the saddest things you've ever seen...
>"Ever since I sold that licsense deal, I haven't come up with a single new design!"
>Yikes.
"That's not good..."
>Is that all you can say?
>You ain't exactly good at this comforting thing.
>"I haven't had ANY inspiration. In fact, the last bout of ideas I got..."
>She looks up.
>"Was from you!"
 
>Oh fuck you already know where this is going.
>Every p0ny you know is crazy!
>She's gonna abduct you for sure!
>You can hear it now...
>'You're my inspiration DARLING, I can't let you leave!'
>Stowed away in her basement, Pinkie Pie visiting you...
>OH GOD SHE'LL TIE YOU UP AND NEVER LET YOU GO.
>Thoughts racing through your head about abduction and capture.
>A new HUMAN line of clothing!
>OH GOD MAKE THE MENTAL IMAGES STOP-
>"Anon?"
>You snap out of it, Rarity looking concerned.
>"Are YOU alright?"
>Even in her time of need you manage to make her worried about you.
>Way to go, champ.
"I'm fine, just, I think I could help you make some new desi-"
>Before you can finish, she throws her hooves around you, planting a kiss on your cheek.
>"OH THANK YOU ANON! Thank you thank you thank you!"
>She lets go, rushing into the messy room.
>"I'll be just a moment!"
>And she's gone.
>Well...that was weird.
>And spontaneous.
>And you'd be lying if you didn't think it was kinda nicWHAT ARE YOU THINKING IT'S A P0NY.
>Get those thoughts out of your head RIGHT NOW.
>Forcing yourself to agree with your brain, you wipe away the light moisture left from her...
>...appreciative...
>...gesture.
>Yeah, call it that.
>That'll totally justify it in your mind.
 
>When she returns, she looks good as new.
>Mascara's fixed, hair's done to perfection.
>Her coat even seems like it has a nice sheen to it.
>"Come on in, Anon."
>She walks into the room, and you follow.
>It looks...pretty much the same.
>Fabric strewn across mannequins, papers on top of tables and desks.
>At least the floor's a bit clear.
>"You must be wondering why it's such a mess in here."
"Yes, actually. You're so neat and tidy, this just surprised me."
>"Well, Anon, this is my inspiration room!"
"Inspiration room?"
>"Creativity isn't neat and tidy. Here I can throw around my ideas...literally."
>Makes sense.
>You manage to find a seat, and take it.
>Rarity pulls a chair from the other side of the room, and magically levitates it over to sit near you.
>"SO, Anon! Please, tell me more about fashion from Orf!"
>Orf?
>Oh.
"Heh, I think you mean 'Earth'."
>"Yes, of course!"
"Well, you seem to have a lot of the styles I know of. Pants being the one you didn't have, you have fancy shirts and sweaters..."
>"That we do!"
"Hmmm...I don't know much about girl's fashion. You obviously have fine dresses."
>"The finest!"
"You have shoes, uhh...casual wear..."
>Not much else for you to add.
"What else do girls wear...bowties, blouses, bras, panties, skirts..."
>Rarity raises a hoof.
>Odd.
"Yes?"
>"What are panties?"
"Well those-"
>Fuck.
 
>It's too late to go back now, isn't it.
>*sigh*
>Just get it over with.
"Well, panties and bras are...'special' pieces of clothing."
>She's taking note.
>Why oh why is she taking notes?!?
>"Special how?"
"Um...they're meant to cover private areas..."
>She doesn't change expression.
>Okay, she doesn't get it.
"Certain...'personal' areas?"
>You glance downwards quickly to assert the point.
>Her eyes widen.
>She gets it.
>"O-oh!"
"Yeah."
>"..."
>After a few seconds of awkward silence, she bursts out laughing.
>"Oh Anon, so bashful! Why would you need to cover that up?"
>These p0nies have no shame, do they?
>Maybe it wouldn't be an issue to walk around naked...
>...
>Not today.
>She gets up from her chair, levitating her graph chart.
>"Now then, let's get started on these new fashions!"
>As she trots over to the closet, her tail is slightly raised.
>You don't look.
>Fucking p0nies.