>Day 30 in Equestria
 
>Your eyes crack open.
>Good FREAKIN' morning!
>Why is this morning so awesome?
>Let's list off the positives.
>One, you're waking up in your perfectly refurbished, Rainbow Dash-less room.
>Two, you've officially stopped working at Sweet Apple Acres, because...
>Three, today you start working as a repairman!
>That's right, no more mooching off the ever-so-wonderful Apples and Rarity.
>Then again, the Apples were awfully sad to see you leave.
>All of 'em!
>Except for Big Mac.
>You're unsure if he can feel emotion.
>Is 'Eeyup' an emotion?
>For him it is, maybe.
>In any case, you throw on some professional work clothes.
>Which in reality, are just normal work clothes that are freshly cleaned.
>You walk downstairs to survey your house.
>Well, mostly your house.
>You also plan on doing business here, so there's a fancy office on the bottom floor.
>You feel so swag right now.
 
>Normally you'd say it's a cause for celebration.
>However, you've been doing nothing but celebrating for the past few days.
>You hate to say it, but Rainbow's starting to drink a hole in that sack of bits.
>Time to cut down and work on making a profit!
>You didn't buy these tools for nothing, did you...?
>Well, in all actuality, how often is someone...p0ny...going to need something fixed?
>The only two you have done are the hole YOU helped create, and the house you live in!
>...
>...the more you think about this, the larger the feeling of regret becomes.
>HEY.
>Stop that.
>This is no time for regrets.
>All you can do now is advertise and hope someb-p0ny needs something fixed!
>You're certain one will come up eve-
>*knock knock*
>Speak of the devil!
>You rush to the door, prepared to answer your first house call.
>Swinging it open, you go to greet the p0ny.
>"Anon! Ano~n!!"
>Anyone but her.
>Any fucking p0ny but her.
"....Hi Pinkie..."
 
>"How's it goin', Anon?"
>You groan.
"Not bad. I'm surprised you aren't saying hello from a bush this time."
>She giggles at your joke.
>"Silly, I don't need to do that when I can see your house from my window!"
>She serious?
>One quick glance in the distance proves her statement.
>Sugarcube Corner, in all it's glory.
>You could have though this out better.
>The pink p0ny slips by you while you're distracted and enters your house.
"Yes, of course, come on in."
>"What a cool place you got here!"
>She's darting around the room, looking at every little detail.
>"Oooo~, what's this? And this? OH WOW you have one of THESE?"
>This is going to fucking stop before you punch a p0ny.
>As if she could feel the tension brewing in your mind, she halts in the center of the room, looking at you.
>"SO, you fix stuff now, do ya?"
>She happily bounces up and down.
"Yeah, I'm trying to start a business out of it..."
>"OH! I can help!"
>Fucking god no.
"That's alright, I'm pretty sure I can handle this."
>"No silly, I mean I need something repaired!"
>Well, that's actually helpful.
"Is that so?"
>"Yeah! I'd rather go to YOU than anyone else!"
>Touching.
 
>Even if she's your first customer, it's STILL Pinkie, and she's been more than...weird.
"Look, Pinkie, I appreciate it, but I'm af-"
>"Did I mention I can pay up front?"
>There's the killing blow.
>Bits.
>Cash.
>Dollar signs.
>Remember why you're doing this, so you don't have to mooch off Applejack anymore.
>The only way to do that is by making money.
>The only way to do THAT is by repairing.
>And the only job offer you have is sitting in front of you.
>Well, bouncing.
>With a heavily exhasperated sigh, you accept.
"Alright, I'll do it."
>"REALLY? Woohoo!"
>She starts bouncing off the walls, in more than once sense.
>You snatch her out of mid air before she starts breaking your stuff.
"So what's the job?"
>You drop her, and she rushes out your front door.
>Reluctant, you snatch your tool belt and box, and head out.
>You got some work to do.
 
>As you walk towards Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie, you start prying about the job itself.
"What do ya need fixed anyway?"
>No answer.
>That really helps.
>You'd ask again, but the walk to Sugarcube Corner really wasn't that long.
>God damn, Pinkie could probably see you through a window in your ho-
>Let's bury that thought so you can sleep.
>Yeah, there we go.
>Nice and buried.
>"Come on in, Anon!"
>She motions to let you in.
>You've seen this place before, and it looked delicious!
>So did the food inside, but the building itself literally looked edible.
>You must have avoided it subconciously due to...
>...well, the p0ny leading you inside.
>You walk in, and the smell wafting into your nostrils is just what you would hope from a bakery/pastry shop.
>It's fucking D-E-LICIOUS!
>Fried Dough, Cupcakes, Fruits and Candies, it all smells SO GOOD.
>But you're here on business!
>...you think.
>At first glance, everything looks alright.
 
>A blue p0ny with pink mane walks at you from across the store.
>"Hello there, human!"
>She's got a huge grin plastered on her face.
>So big, it almost looks fake.
>Almost.
"Hey there, nice to meet you."
>You extend a hand, and she meets it with a hoof and shakes it.
>"Mrs. Cake!"
>You're glad that form of courtesy still exists here, it's been your standard go-to greeting.
"I'm-"
>"Anon, of course! I've heard plenty about you!"
>It has to be residual information picked up from Pinkie.
>You shudder lightly.
>This mare could know ANYTHING.
>Shortly after, a stallion with two babies on his back walks in.
>Mr. Cake, it seems, and the two cake children.
>Pinkie has ran off while you exchanged pleasantries with them.
>Cute kids!
>They even mentioned the need for a babysitter.
>Lods of emone!
 
>Suddenly a loud crash is heard from upstairs.
>It shocks you pretty good.
>But the Cakes seem unfazed.
>In unison, they groan.
>"Pinkie..."
"Is she your daughter?"
>"Oh heavens no! She works here, and lives upstairs."
>Live in employee, sounds about right.
>I mean, if she was YOUR daughter, you'd kick her out ASAP.
>Pinkie pokes her head down from the stairs.
>"Ano~n! I found out what's broken!"
>She couldn't have just...
>No, that would be crazy.
>Well...let's just say you wouldn't put it past her.
>Bidding farewell to the Cakes, you follow her upstairs.
>"This is my room!"
>Her room looks just as you'd expect it to.
>Pink, with toys everywhere.
Well, the toys are more leaking out from the closet to the floor.
>Since the door on the closet is now blatantly broken.
>"I don't know how it happened!"
>Sure.
 
>You inspect the damage.
"You're gonna need a new door...I can fix it, but I'll have to go to th-"
>Before you can say anything, she shushes you with a pink marshmallow.
>"Don't worry, I'll go buy the new door! You stay here and get to work!"
>Initially you'd think her strange for forcing you to stay while she leaves...
>...but it's much more efficient that way, to be honest.
>You can start removing the frame's hinges and whatnot.
"Okay, sounds good."
>With a smile, she bolts out of her bedroom, closing the door.
>A faint click accompanies her walking down the stairs.
>Did she just...
>You attempt to open the door.
>Yep.
>She locked you in.
>Why would her room even work like that?!?
>With a sigh, you return to the busted door.
>Locked in or not, you at least have some work to do.
 
>You start removing the door from the frame.
>Yeah, the damage is recent.
>Like 5 minutes ago recent.
>She had to have kicked it pretty hard!
>Once you remove the broken door, the contents of her closet lay bare.
>No!
>You are a kind, gentlemanly soul.
>How could you even consider stooping down to the level of digging through-
>Is that a camera?
>You snatch the camera up and take a peek.
>Fuck gentlemanly behavior, this is too juicy!
>Aww, it's not a digital camera.
>How could those even exist here?
>Way to go, dipshit.
>Under the camera, however, is a box.
>You flip it open.
>Bingo, pictures!
>You feel dirty for looking through her stuff...
>But she's been spying on you!
>This is payback!
 
>Taking up the first picture, you inspect it.
>It's you working the fields at Sweet Apple Acres.
>This is going to be an album of you, isn't it?
>It's a nice picture though.
>Next one, it's you sleeping on your haybale.
>It's taken from far above.
>God damn you are happy to not be sleeping there anymore.
>Another picture, its you petting Fluttershy.
>That damned blackmail she loved to flaunt.
>You pocket that picture.
>Next, a picture of AJ laying on you.
>DO YOU HAVE NO PRIVACY?!?
>And the last picture in the box, a picture of Pinkie and Fluttershy hiding in a bush.
>Mementos, you guess.
>Gotta have recollection of your escapades!
>At least, that's what Pinkie wants apparently.
 
>You put the box and camera back, and for good measure, throw a lot of the scattered stuffed animals back into the closet.
>Don't want her to know you've been snooping.
>You walk over to the window, to see if that view to your house is really that good.
>With a good squint, you can see right outside this window into the window of your bedroom.
>And your bed.
>That's getting moved ASAP.
>Looking down, a familiar sight.
>A yellow mare with pink mane.
>Fluttershy.
>And Pinkie!
>Pinkie has the door, it's laying against a nearby pole.
>How the hell did she carry it...
>Regardless, you see her chatting with Fluttershy.
>After a few seconds, Pinkie rapidly shakes her head no, and Fluttershy looks down, sad.
>D'awww, whatever she said no to, it makes ya disappointed.
>Fluttersad isn't a fun sight.
>She walks away, and Pinkie makes her way to the front door.
>In moments, she's up the stairs, door thrown on the floor.
>"I'm BAAAAACK!"
"Whoopee."
 
>After good amount of work, the door is up and functioning.
>You give it a few swings, and a slam.
>Closed.
>Perfect!
"Well, that about does it!"
>You get up and stretch, that was a good bit of work.
>"Thanks Anon, it looks super duper perfect!"
>She bounces happily.
>"Follow me, I wanna give you something!"
>You sure hope it's your pay so you can leave.
>She trots downstairs, and you follow.
>Waiting down there are the Cakes, with, amazingly enough, a cake.
>Written ever so lovingly on the cake...
>You haven't a fucking cue.
>You can't read their writing!
>Let alone cake-writing.
>You smile, thanking them for the delicious food.
"So, Pinkie..."
>She turns to you.
"Where's my pay?"
>She giggles lightly.
>"Silly filly, that IS your pay!"
>Fucking shoot me now.
 
>You walk back to your house as the sun goes down, cake in tow.
>Or 'your pay' as Pinkie calls it.
>As you make it to your front door, you notice something odd.
>A note!
>You pick it off the door, and walk inside.
>Dropping the cake on the table, you sit down.
>Let's see this note...
>'Dear Anon, I tried to find you today, but Pinkie said you were nowhere to be found, and I didn't want to be a bother, and I just was wondering maybe if you could possibly fix something at my house maybe. -Fluttershy'
>Oh, of course!
>Wait, she asked Pinkie where you were?
>Then what you saw today...
>That lying fuck!
>You nom a piece of cake while contemplating.
>Damn this cake is delicious!
>Those Cakes know how to, well, make a cake.
>Taking another bite, you come to a stop.
>You drop your fork.
>You don't feel too...
>*thunk*
>Your head hits the table as you pass out.