>Meeting Twilight Sparkle probably had a greater effect on you than you think.
>You studied all morning today, your eyes already burning a little and your brain probably not being able to handle any more information
>As clever as you are - multidimensional flux calculation equations were more your father's thing.
>His writing is also atrocious and you can barely understand some sentences in his work diary. Being the most important subject of your study - it makes the thing difficult.
>Cross-referencing the documents from the massive library of technical literature makes you feel a little purple as well. Covered with books thrown around in an organized chaos you look oh so smart.
>You wish you also acted the part.
>You need a distraction. And you need something to eat.
>Living by your own in the forest almost completely deserted your food storage. Hunting, fishing, setting and checking the traps - it all takes a lot of time.
>Not to mention constant need to actually prepare the food.
>God you miss the microwave pizza's.
>Not to mention the microwave draining just too much power from your not so endless reserves.
>Time to suit up.
>You have cut your old jeans to make yourself a pair of shorts.
>The plant skirt still looks awesome so you put it over, securing with a belt.
>Taser goes in the holster.
>It indeed had a peculiar lightning bolt on the grip. /k/ was proud of you back home, even though they bitched about it not being a real gun.
>Putting on your trusty sneakers, getting your backpack on.
>It's time to get yourself some apples
>In the vast orchard you've seen on the show who will notice just a couple apples taken?
>Especially not on the edge of the Everfree.
>No regrets. Also ponies don't have shotguns.
>What kind of redneck are you without your trusty boomstick?
>And no, you don't think of it as "theft". You are absolutely sure that way more apples get damaged and trashed with their applebucking procedure.
>It's probably the reason why the Apples constantly struggle for money.
>No matter how magical this world is - physics SHOULD still work, and an apple falling from the tree has a good chance of getting damaged in the process.
>At least according to your experience with apples back on earth. Guess it's time to test the differences between the worlds, maybe here the apples are magically amplified to produce an anti-gravity field while falling from the tree?
>Oh and little maneuvering thrusters to get in the bin after each kick.
>Then again - as far as you have seen everything is a little different from the show.
>You almost want to say "realistic".
>If you can use the term "realistic" on a world filled with magic and intelligent horse-like marshmallows.
 
>You leave your house at noon, not forgetting to lock the door.
>Pretty useless habit in this world, but it still gives you a weird satisfaction of doing something normal. Like closing your door while going shopping.
>More like shoplifting in this case. In any way the run through the forest is quick and uneventful.
>You notice some weird tracks here and there - and decide that you should ask Zecora to give you a crash course on tracking. It would definitely be useful to know about different kinds of marks dangerous or tasty creatures can leave in here.
>For now you have learned that the best way to avoid the Everfree dangers is moving quick, silent, ears wide and head held low.
>Also jumping on trees.
>Poison joke is unfortunately not the only poisonous plant growing here.
 
>As you approach the apple plantation fields, even before exiting the forest proper you are welcomed with a smell. With THE smell, even - is like a battering ram hitting your nostrils.
>A battering ram made of apples obviously.
>Not that it is unpleasant per say - it's just a little disorienting at first. Either over the time you've spent in the Everfree your smell perception greatly developed, or equestrian apples just are more appleish than you are used to.
>The orchard is just up ahead. Barely twenty meters from the Everfree's tree line.
>Funnily enough the forest ends very abruptly. Even the grass change instantly on the line with the forest - from wild and natural mix of grasses to almost trimmed plain grass of the orchard.
>You climb on the last forest tree to confirm Applejack's absence in this part of the fields.
>Heh, looking for an orange between apples. Good one, brain.
>It's past noon and ridiculously hot outside. No sane creature will be working at this moment.
>Then again ponies have never been known for their sanity. Especially the mane 6.
>You decide to take your chances as you crouch and crawl towards a particularly large apple tree.
>Climbing onto it takes seconds with your newly found agility. You reach for a closest apple, your stomach grumbling in anticipation.
>You bite. Couple seconds of shock run by.
>Okay, okay, you are pretty sure now, that Apples neuter their apples with heroin.
>It's just no way an apple can be THAT delicious. Your taste buds just about melted from the sensation.
>You munch the whole apple, leaving nothing behind as you just feel yourself unable to stop.
>Never tried anything that simple and yet so delicious before.
>You've never been an apple enthusiast but this gives you an understanding about why exactly the apple family can have a nice life, build new barns every year, and even construct airships.
>Just... need to grab a couple more of these to... confirm, yes, confirm they are all that tasty.
>Well, a lot more to be honest.
>As you gobble more and more of the apples you are starting to feel sleepy from the hot sun and a rare feeling these days of being completely engorged.
>Unable to fight the sensation you curse your lazy ass and shut your eyes... just for fifteen minutes.
 
>Sleeping on trees and other rough surfaces, while not amazingly soft is very good for one's spine.
>It's rare enough for you to do so and the mid-day sleep was pretty enjoyable today.
>Right till the moment when an annoying voice waked you up from your slumber.
>"...How many times ah told ya not to sleep on my appletrees? At least without permission! Now wake up your sorry ass and help me carry these baskets!"
>Yeah, right. Fat chance.
>You are waaay too awesome for random unscheduled manual labour.
>You are also the one and only Fastest Flyer in all of Equestria - Rainbow Dash.
>And you can't help but notice that Applejack, being as frustrated as she is, is literlarly barking at the wrong tree.
>After a quick glance you see nothing but her back turned to you, head held high, screaming at a huge apple tree she suppose you are sleeping at.
>Strange, she never failed to find you before, knowing her apples and whatnot.
>Heh, a little too lazy to spook her from behind, also not very eager to get a taste of these legs of hers. Again. You learned that lesson quite a long time ago, second day you came to Ponyville and went on a pranking spree.
>To this day you remember how her hooves feel. Unpleasant, least to say.
>Surprisingly that was your first real bonding experience. Your frendly banter and rivalry kind of went from that point.
>Sheesh look at you remembering the "old times" as some old geezer. Blegh.
>Back to the matter at hoof - Applejack acts like an idiot.
>You shake off your sleepiness, jump down and hover couple meters behind her.
"Well good day to you too, Applejack! You know me too well, but It's not actually that tree you are pointing at. I slept on this one."
>You smirk as you point to your favorite tree.
>"Huh? So who's on that tree then? One of your friends? As if you alone wasn't enough - now yah bringing friends to sleep here as well?"
"Wait what? Somepony is actually on that tree?"
>"Yeah I can clearly see some lazy pink pegasus ass in the leaves. But I know just the cure..."
>A short shockwave is felt through the air as a trademark buck is performed. As a result something... falls down from the tree plunging right on top of Applejack.
>And this something is definitely not an apple. Or a lazy pagasus.
>No, apples are certainly falling, about two dozens of them to be precise.
>But amongst them? Something massive, pink with flailing appendages falls down and thwamps Applejack into the ground, grunting loudly.
>For split seconds you are shoked, watching at the mess on the ground, pink beast flailing it's hands, Applejack under it.
>You are released from the shock as Applejack starts screaming, kicking wildly
>"AUUUUUGH! GEDDOFF ME! GEDDOFF!"
>That's when you act, launching yourself into the brawl with an intent to beat the snot out of this monster for attacking one of your friends.
>Surprisingly the beast detaches itself from your friend and jumps to the side just as you pass over the place where it should have been a split-second ago.
>Agile. Aggressive. Dangerous. Threat.
>Velocity is too high to turn and grab it. Need to go for a second pass.
>Rise up for an Immelmane's turn.
>Back on an attack vector.
>Applejack is starting to get up, looking dazed.
>The monster turned around and is starting to get away.
>Oh no you didn't! Catch you later though, checking on yor friend is first.
>You do a cobra, stopping right near your friend.
"Applejack! Are you hurt"
>"Ah... Ahm fine, what WAS that thing?
"No idea but if we want to find out we need to catch it! It's getting away!"
>And it's getting away quickly. On two legs, with long strides, no doubt heading towards the Everfree forest.
>"Mah lasso is always with me! Let's get this thing!"
 
------------------
 
"OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK"
>That did not go well. At fucking all.
>Fucking Apples with sedative.
>Fucking Applebitch, the worst pony indeed.
>What's the point in going through the backskirts of your orchard at fucking noon! Confound... eeeh whatever. It's time to dedicate the processing powers to running.
>They are screaming now and probably chasing you down.
>As a general rule humans don't run faster than other "running" creatures on earth, they run distances. And ponies should definitely be able to run faster. No time for marathon though, you have a head-start and If you get to the forest before they catch you - you are safe.
>Blood is pounding through your ears, heart beating faster from the workout and the adrenalin.
>Still you hear flapping of wings as something, and you know exactly what, is closing up on you.
>What you don't have in speed you have in maneuverability.
>There are a lot of trees here as well... aaaaand jump to the side!
>Loud thwank and the sound of apples raining down is your reward.
>Tsk, Rainbow, you never learn.
>One down, roughly a hundred meters to go.
>Your inner Clarkson is screaming SPEEEED, your inner ipod is playing the unholy abomination of a tune from SANIC.
>Chest burns with a fury of couple dozen Celestias
>Hopping left and right randomly to avoid the inevitable lasso throw.
>It never comes though and you barge into the forest underbush still hearing the screaming.
>Fuck this.
>Never.
>Again.
 
 
>You are once again Rainbow Dash
>And the monster escaped.
>You done goofed, thinking it is dumb, but the beast got lucky.
>It's not you being reckless, stupid trees growing on the way.
>Your head is still a little bit dazed from the impact.
>Applejack is walking nearby, muttering under her breath.
>She done goofed as well, never managed to get a clear line to throw the lasso.
>The beast was jumping around too much.
>Figures.
"So how exactly are you are planning to catch it?"
>"Don't know yet. But I have to - what if it attacked Applebloom instead of me? Damned thing, waiting on the tree for a perfect moment to strike!
"I don't think it was..."
>"Ah'll NOT allow something that dangerous to roam through my orchard!"
"It seemed pretty dangerous indeed. Very quick on its feet. If it was not for that damned tree... How do we call it anyway? I've never seen something like it."
>"Maybe we should go ask Twilight? She knows all the creatures out there"
"You kidding? Twilight is hurt enough already, she's not allowed to do any study and I will NOT involve her into catching a dangerous monster. She needs rest."
>"True... Fluttershy?"
"Nah, she'll just act sappy and won't allow us to catch it or chase away because it's a "poor guy" or something"
>"True again. We two are enough to catch it ourselves and then we can ask after we teach it a lesson."
"So how do we call it?"
>"What was the sound it was making while running? Fuck?"
"Yeah something like that."
>Well let's call it "Fucker".
"Hah. Nah, that's pretty stupid. It's like calling a cat "meower" or a dog "woofer". "
>"You have better ideas?"
"Well, no, but..."
>"Then Fucker it is! Beware, Fucker, wherever you are, ah will find you and ah'll make you pay for... uhh... trespassing on mah property and attacking me!"