continuing from http://pastebin.com/VsVnfA5s line 8717
 
>You are now Anon
>Your phone starts ringing
>Wonder who that could be
>Oh look, it's Rainbow Dash
>Against better judgment, you decide to pick up
>A face to face chat would not be a good idea in your current state of rage
>But a phone call, you MIGHT just be able to handle
>You slide the green icon to the right
"Hello, Dashie"
>Punctuating the nickname the same way Oswald Cobblepot punctuates "Fish"
"No doubt calling to let me know you can't be seen with me anymore eh?"
>"What? N-NO! Listen, Anon. I- I'm really sorry for what I did back there."
"Is that so? Sorry enough to tell those other girls the truth? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course not. You've got a reputation to uphold, don't you?"
>The more you talk, the more insane you start to sound
>But that's okay
>You're not right in the head, no?
>You're already an insane, disgusting pervert, right?
>That's what the voices in your head told you
>That's what Dash thinks of you too, apparently
>You notice that Dashie- no, Rainbow Dash, is sobbing
>Good
>Maybe she feels the same way as you do
>HAHAHA
>Like she could ever know the pain of the life you had before
>Let alone finally escaping it and finding (what you thought was) a true friend who cared about you
>Then having that yanked away from you, like a rug from under your feet
>Finally she starts to speak again
>"Actually, Anon. I told the girls about us. About you. They questioned me. They asked why I would date someone like you. And I told them why."
>Oh
>OH
>This is too delicious
>This is your chance
>Question is, do you REALLY want to hurt Dash?
>"After all, she WAS the only person who'd accept you in the beginning."
>Wait a minute
>Oh shit!
>You heard that!
>"Yes, that'd a good point, but what does that matter after what she just did?"
>There's that other voice, the one that always wants you to be an asshole
"And what do you suggest I do, huh?"
>"What do you mean, Anon?" says Dash over the phone
>Dammit, why's she have to be in on this? Doesn't she know you're having a a conversation here?"
"Sorry, Dashie. that wasn't to you."
>The voice that sounds a bit like Fluttershy pipes up again
>"Just keep in mind, once you do this, there's no going back."
>Now the asshole voice, hey she sounds a bit like Aria, voices (huehue, 'voices') her opinion
>"And why exactly would you want to go back?"
>Huh
>She does have a point
>Why should you go back?
>It's settled
"Oh, well, in that case, how could I be mad at you?"
>"No, please, don't." says the nice voice
>But in the phone, all you hear is
>"What?"
"As long as you told the truth in the end, nothing's wrong,and we'll be fine."
>"P-please..."
>The nicey-nice voice is getting weaker
>Wonder what that means
>By now she's drowned out by Dash
>"Wait, you really mean that?"
>It's time
>You throw your head back and laugh
>Laugh so hard
>Like a madman
>Come to think of it,
>Who's to say you're not a madman?
>You certainly fit many of the qualification
>Sympathetic cheesy villain background story
>Voices in your head
>You even joined up with the 'good guys' in a moment of redemption
>All just to throw it away
>Right here
>Right now
>And now, realization has just struck you
>Something you should have seen coming from a mile away
>But you never saw it
>You are Anon
>And you are a Super Villain
>You're gonna need a name for yourself
>But that can be decided later
>You have more pressing matters to attend to
>Like the girl crying and screaming on the phone
>"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, ANON! I HATE YOU!"
"That makes two of us, sweet cheeks. You and me, we have something in common. We both hate me. And another thing we have in common: we both deluded ourselves into thinking that I could somehow be redeemed from my old way. And one more thing:..."
>"What's that, asshole?"
>"Hehe, we both thought that the two of us could actually be together. HA! Isn't that just the funniest shit you ever heard?"
>Dash screams, but it sounds distant
>You hear a crunch, and then the call is ended, cutting off her screaming before it could go very far
>She must have thrown her phone
>Oh well, no skin off your nose
>You decide it's time to go sit down
>Being a super villain takes a lot out of you
 
>"So, you've chosen your path", says the calm middle voice
>"The one that I told you to take from the beginning", says the right one, the one who convinced to to break things off with Dash
>...
>Silence
"Yo, what happened to the other one? You know, Ms. Kind and Nice."
>"Surely you can't be serious?" says Middle Voice
"I am serious, and don't call me 'Shirley'!"
>"Dear boy, do you have any idea who we are?"
"Nah, all's I know is that I'm a fucking nutjob who belongs in a padded cell. Why don't you enlighten me?"
>"To put it in simple terms that even you could understand, we are, in a sense your consciences. I am the neutral one. I look at things logically, and suggest a course of action without bias."
"And how come you never talk?"
>"Well, how often exactly do humans actually approach things logically and without emotion, or bias toward good or evil?"
"Meh, good point. And I'm guessing asshat over here is my bad conscience, y'know, the one that makes e wanna go all Detrot on people?"
>"Exactly. It was the one who tried to convince you to, as you say, 'go all Detrot', on that Midnight Star girl."
"And what about the nice one? My good conscience? You still haven't told me about he- well, it's fate."
>"Again, this is all too abstract to actually describe in terms like "conscience", but I'll go ahead and put it in terms that will help you to understand it as best you can."
"I'm listening."
>"In essence, you, well, shall I say, "killed" that voice."
"Killed her? Like I got rid of her? And she's never coming back?"
>"Well, maybe that's not quite right. Let's say instead that you banished 'her' to a dungeon somewhere. You have no idea where this dungeon is, how to begin to find it, or what to even do should you find it. The lock is unlike anything your mind can comprehend, and the walls are so thick they can't even be measured using what you'd call 'light-years'."
"So, you- I, uh."
>Damn
>At this point you're speechless
>Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to, you know
>Throw away a huge part of your humanity
>This whole super villain shtick is already sounding less and less appealing the more you think about it
"So what do I do now?"
>"Question is, Anonymous? What do you want to accomplish?"
"Firstly, I want to act quickly to try to repair my situation with Rainbow Dash as best I can."
>"Seriously? You wanna get back at her after what she did?"
"Shut the fuck up, asshole voice. If I could I would banish you to the shadow realm."
>"Well technically," says Mr. Logic, "you could, by becoming such a good person that your negative conscience has no presence any more."
"Yeah, I doubt that. Wait, does that mean that what I did was so bad, that my good conscience has no presence."
>"Well, you may not feel it, but if you listen, you may feel a faint whisper."
"I guess I'll get to that later. For now, how should I convince Dash that everything I just did was, well, how to I try to patch things?"
>"You could try telling her the truth."
"But how? Tell her the truth about what?"
>"Do I really need to answer that for you?"
"Hey, you're the one- er, ones, that got me into this..."
>Suddenly you spring up, as the realization hits you harder than any punch you took back in Detrot
"OF COURSE! I'll tell her the truth about you guys! I'll convince her that my years in that Hellhole called Detrot have left me mentally scarred, NO, mentally ILL even. If I'm lucky, she'll believe that it wasn't me that did it. Well, not the REAL me. Well, not the me I want to be. You know what I mean. I know what I mean."
>And with that, you take off for the hospital
>Not very far though, because you're still not fit at all
>Mentally OR physically
 
>As you arrive to the hospital, you go to the registry desk
"Hello I'd like to visit my friend Rainbow Dash."
>"Name please?"
>Oh shit
>She's probably already told the nurses not to let you in
>Gotta think fast
"Bulk Biceps."
>The nurse takes a good look at you
>"Not a very fitting name for you."
"My parents were optimistic. They're kinda disappointed, but that's beside the point."
>She looks done with your shit, but nonetheless she begins to walk off toward Dash's room
>She comes back with the same bored expression on her face
>"She'll see you now, Mr. Biceps."
"Thank you."
>You walk over to Dash's room, and peek around the corner
>"You might as well come in, Anon. I had figured you'd try something like this."
"So, Dashie, hey. Um, so, I'm like, 100 percent sure that you are literally indescribably furious with me right now, so I suppose it's time for the explanation."
>"Really? And how exactly will you possibly explain what happened earlier?"
>You look her in the eyes
>You can tell she's been crying
>Your own eyes are just starting to fill up with tears
"Dashie, I... I'm sick."
>"Well I guess it's a good thing you're in a hospital, huh?"
>The tears are flowing freely down your face now
"No, I meant, mentally sick."
>"Yeah, I kinda figured that out."
"I meant it Dash! Th-there's voices in my head now. A-at first it was only when I was dreaming, but eventually they started appearing while I was awake! I-it's like I'm having a breakdown or something."
>Now her curiosity seems to be piqued
>"Did you say 'voices in your head'?"
"Y-yeah! Real, genuine head-voices. I actually hear them now, almost as if someone's talking to me. There's a nice one, and a jackass one, and a neutral one. The nice one even sounds like Fluttershy."
>"Anon, you're really starting to scare me. If you're just making all this up, then it's the most assholish thing you've ever done. But if you're for real, then, I'm worried about you."
"I'm not making it up, Dash, I swear! When I was at your house feeding tank, I decided to tidy up your room for you-"
>"You what?!"
"Y-yeah, I didn't want you to get in trouble with your dad, so I cleaned it up, and I found your diary!"
>"Oh my God! You better not have read it!"
"No, no, I didn't! See that's the thing, I was going to, but the nice voice stopped me. She told me it was wrong, so I put it back!"
>"Did you say 'voices in your head'?"
"Y-yeah! Real, genuine head-voices. I actually hear them now, almost as if someone's talking to me. There's a nice one, and a jackass one, and a neutral one. The nice one even sounds like Fluttershy."
>"Anon, you're really starting to scare me. If you're just making all this up, then it's the most assholish thing you've ever done. But if you're for real, then, I'm worried about you."
"I'm not making it up, Dash, I swear! When I was at your house feeding tank, I decided to tidy up your room for you-"
>"You what?!"
"Y-yeah, I didn't want you to get in trouble with your dad, so I cleaned it up, and I found your diary!"
>"Oh my God! You better not have read it!"
"No, no, I didn't! See that's the thing, I was going to, but the nice voice stopped me. She told me it was wrong, so I put it back!"
>"I- I don't believe you. How do I know anything you're telling me is true?"
>The gears in your head are turning
>But nothing is being output on the conveyor belt
>Of course!
>Ask the rational one
"So what should I do Mr. Logical?"
>"My answer is the same as before. Tell her the truth."
>Genius!
"Here, Dash, take my phone and call your dad. Ask him if your room is clean!"
>She takes your phone hesitantly
>"Tell you what, Anon. If my room really is clean, I'll believe everything you said. But otherwise, I'm having you escorted out."
>She dials a number, her dad's presumably, and waits for the pick-up
>"Hello, dad? Hey, I just wanted to ask you a favor. Will you go and check on Tank to see if he has any food?"
>She waits a minute
>"Okay, good. Oh, you saw Anon? Great. Listen, I need one more thing..."
>She flips your phone to speaker mode
>"What's that, Princess?"
>You can't help but snort
>She blushes pretty hard, her cheeks turning downright rosy
>Maybe she should've waited to turn it to speaker
>"Is... is my room clean?"
>"Haha. Why yes, it is. And unlike the usual, your stuff isn't all shoved under the bed or into the closet. Even your unmentionables are put away in their drawer."
>"D-DAD!"
>"Oh come on, Dash, you didn't think i didn't know what was in my own house, did you? Anyway, my guess is that that Anon kid must've tidied up for you. Is that right?"
>She glares at you, then back at the phone
>"Yeah, I suppose it is."
>She puts the phone down and sighs
>"Well, I guess you were telling the truth."
"See? I guess, I don't even know. All those years of having to suppress my feelings just to survive, all this time of having to hide my past. I guess it's taken a worse toll on me before."
>"Whoa. When did you start talking in complete sentences again? And without shouting, too."
"I guess..."
>You sigh and sit down on the side of the bed
"I guess just having you believe me was enough to calm me down, even if you haven't forgiven me yet."
>She reaches out and takes your hand
>"I suppose in time I might forgive you."
>She looks over at the wall, where there is an evident dent
>"But first, you owe me a new phone."
>You chuckle and walk over to where her phone lies on the ground
"Maybe not. Seems the battery just popped out."
>You stick the battery back in and turn it on
"Good as new."
 
***
 
>"Well, I guess things aren't so bad, then."
>She starts to smile as she holds her still intact phone
>But it turns to a frown when she looks back at you
>"I'm still really mad at you, though, dude."
"Of course. I don't blame you at all. And if there's anything at all I can do for you to start trying to make up for it, just let me know."
>"Well," she says, blushing and looking away
>"There is something I want to do."
"Anything at all, you name it."
>"Well, I guess I should say there's someONE I want to do."
"Say no more. I'm on it"
>You start to walk toward her bed, unzipping your hoodie as you go
>But she just frowns and looks away
>"That's just it. I... wasn't talking about you."
>You stop
>Drop
>And roll back the tears
"Oh. I see. So this is your payback eh? You wanna sleep with another guy to get back at me."
>"It's not quite like that. We met a while ago, right after you and I started dating. He came on to me, but I told him I couldn't because I was taken. He said okay and agreed to back off, but told me that the offer was always open. I just-"
"Oh, I see now. You've had a guy in your pocket, and you've been waiting for an opportunity to have a go at him, eh?"
>"No! It's not like-
"No no, it's okay. At least I can tell all the fetishfags what it's like being an actual cuck."
>"Actually, Anon, instead of me just sleeping with another guy, I was thinking that maybe..."
>She stares at you, trying to force the words out
"Maybe what?"
>"Maybe we could have, like, a... trade."
"A... trade?"
>"Yeah, you know, like, we both sleep with someone we've had our eye on. 'Course it'll be hard for you to decide between Rarity, AJ, and Sunset, right?"
>She says this while managing a weak chuckle, as if she's trying to lighten everything up by making some humor
>It's a pretty sad attempt, really
>Meanwhile, you are in shock
>IS she really saying what you think she's saying?
"D-Dash..."
>You're starting to get teary again
"I-I thought that, I was yours and that you were mine. Do you... not want me anymore?"
>"No! I do want you, it's just- ugh, dude, you're making this so complicated. Look, it's not like we should abandon each other, just... take a breather, you know what I'm saying?"
"I..."
>How to respond?
>Well?
>The voices are all gone
>You no longer hear any of them
>Is that good or bad?
>Oh well
"I... I guess if that's what you want, then I owe you that much."
>You turn and start to walk away
"Oh, and Dash?"
>"Yeah, dude?"
"What do I tell the girls? Won't they get mad at me if I start hitting on them?"
>"Just do the logical thing: tell the truth. I'll back you up if they don't believe you."
"That's, actually a good idea. I'll do that."
>You exit the room and start down the hall
>Wait a minute
>'The logical thing'
>'Tell the truth'
>Whoa
>There's no way this can be coincidence
 
***
 
>The next day
>You are at the cafeteria table with the girls
>Minus Dashie
>Logically she should be able to come to school, albeit on crutches
>But her dad forced her to stay home today
>He wanted to make sure his daughter was okay before coming back to school
>So you're here, ready to break the news about your little deal with her to the girls
"So, have you gals heard from Dashie about our, eh, 'trade', as she calls it?"
>Applejack glares at you, her gaze piercing your very soul
>You can feel the coldness in her eyes
>"Actually, we haven't heard anything from her since yesterday. But we did hear about you on the phone with her."
"Oh. So you heard about that part, huh?"
>AS you look around, you realize that all of them were giving you the same look
>Almost all of them
>Only Fluttershy looked different
>She looked like she was genuinely worried about you
>"You're darn right we did. Someone caught what you, how's they put it again, oh yeah, 'demonically shouted', into the phone to her."
"Yeah, that. I, uh, I should explain that I suppose."
>Pinkie, whose curiosity manages to show a bit on her visage, thankfully directs you away from this for now
>"You said something about a trade with Dashie?"
>Perfect, you can skip the explanation of your little... episode, for now, and focus on the trade
"Right. So, I told Dash I wanted to try to patch things up with her, so she decided on this little 'trade' as she calls it."
>Rarity looks down her nose at you, scowling
>"So she forgave you that easily, huh? Well if you ask me, I'd say you got off far too easily."
>You wanted to say "no one asked you"
>But that wouldn't be a good idea
>'They are your friends, after all. You don't want to be rude to them.'
>Hey, that sounded like Fluttershy
>But it was faint
>Almost like a...
>Gentle whisper
>HEY!
>Could it be?
>Better check
"Did you say something, Fluttershy?"
>"Who? Me? N-no, I didn't say anything."
"Oh. Must be hearing things."
>It's happening!
>You're bringing the nice voice back
>Suck it, Aria-voice!
"Anyway, Rarity. Thing is, no, she hasn't really forgiven me. At least not yet. I wasn't expecting her to either. Getting back her trust is going to be a process. This is just the start."
>As you look up at them, you notice that their gazes have shifted paradigms
>After seeing how sad and defeated you are, they seem to have taken pity on you
>"So," says Panko, "what's this trade?"
"Well," you say, before taking a big gulp,
"Dash is going to sleep with another guy and I'm supposed to sleep with another girl, both as just a one-time thing, and she suggested that I try for one of you girls."
 
>The rage on their faces is visible
>The tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife
>A dull-ass knife that's only good for prying open paint cans
>Finally Applejack, always known for having the steadiest composure, speaks
>Her voice is low, and mean
>It doesn't sound angry, just...
>Disappointed
>"So y'all mean ta tell me, that after all you've done, yer lyin' ta our faces, just ta try ta get into one of us' pants?"
>Suddenly, she slams her fist down
>All that composure, those nerves of steel
>All out the window now
>"IS THAT RIGHT?!"
>The whole crowd is looking at you now
>You hear murmurs around you
>'What's that perv doing now? How's he fucked up this time?'
>You're scared, but you have to press on
"No! That's not right at all! Listen, I can understand if you don't believe me, but since we're friends, just do me this one thing. Call Rainbow Dash and ask her. She'll tell you."
>Applejack slowly reaches into her pocket
>Oh shit she's going for a gun!
>Run, dude!
>Oh wait no, that's just her phone
>She slowly dials Dashie's number
>But instead of putting it up to her ear, she places it on the table
>It's ringing
>"Hello?"
>"Hello, Rainbow Dash."
>Oh boy, there's the low and gruff Applejack again
>Preferable to yelling, though
>"Yo, AJ! What's up?!"
>"Oh, nothing, we were all just having a little chat with Anon here."
>"Oh, really? So I take it he told you about the trade already?"
>The speed at which these girls' eyelids shot open cannot even be measured in light-years per nanosecond, because no number that large exists
>All of them are taken so far aback that they wouldn't be able to see the front of what they were taken aback of if they had their own personal Hubble telescope
>The shock they display is equivalent to all lightning storms ever produced on Earth in all of time expressed in joules, multiplied by the fourth power of a googolplex
>And yet Rainbow Dash still continues to talk as if it was no big deal
>"Yeah, I hope he wasn't hitting on you too hard. He wasn't right?"
>Finally, AJ manages to speak up again, having relearned how to use her words after that experience
>"Uh, no, that's not it, it's just that... Well, we didn't believe him at first. We thought it was just a trick."
>Dash just bursts out laughing
>"Ha! I don't blame you. He IS crafty about that. Say, has he told you anything about WHY he did all that stuff? Over the phone and everything?"
>"Actually, no, he hasn't."
>"Well, just an FYI, if he decides he doesn't want to share that information, please don't bother him about it. He and I are still on pretty decent terms, and I don't want him to have to talk about... the stuff he told me about, unless he's ready. Okay?"
>"Uh, sure thing, Dash."
>"Oh, and AJ? If he does pick you, and you accept, go easy on him, 'kay? He doesn't have that farmer's strength like you do."
"Jesus, Dash!"
>The girls all laugh, and AJ reaches for the phone
>You continue blushing up a storm
>"Alright, then, I'll talk to you girls later, my Dad wants to help me everywhere around the house. It's like a survival horror game trying to avoid him."
>"Alright then," says AJ, "we'll talk ta ya later!"
>She hangs up the phone, and looks back at you
>"So you and Dash are splitting then?"
"What? No. Look, the way she put it, it's just a one-time thing. It's like, a break, you know? From each other."
>"Well, ah suppose if it's Dash's idea, then it's fine with me."
>You chuckle a bit, and your old self starts to come back
>Humor intact
"So, which one of you girls want to have a one-night stand with an all-night man?"
>Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Sunset Shimmer all raise their hands simultaneously
"Oh. OH. Well, this'll be a tough one won't it?"
>"Ah suppose. Now how're you gonna decide?"
"Hmmmm. I've got it!"
>You start to point to the girls in sequence
"Eeny meeny miney, moe. Catch a Jew by the toe. If he hollers, burn him slow. My Fuehrer told me to pick the very purest one and you, are, it!"
>And your finger settles on...
 
***
 
>AJ
>"Well alrighty then. what say we meet at my house after school?"
"Will that be a good idea? People will be home right?"
>"Ah got a lotta land. we can just go to a back corner of the orchard."
"Oh yeah! I forgot all about the orchard just out of town. You know, I've nevr had sex outdoors before."
>"Well trust me, yer gonna love it!"
>"Man, Applejack, I sure am jealous that you get to bone Anon and I don't."
"Pinkie, only boys can 'bone' people. The 'bone' refers to a penis."
>Rarity looks up from her juice, and at Pinkie
>"And besides, Anon's method of choosing, while anti-semitic, was indeed fair."
>But Panko doesn't hear her
>She's still looking at you, confused
>"Wait, you didn't know that Applejack has a penis?"
>You and Rares both spit take simultaneously, while AJ chokes, Sunset looks shocked, and Flutters faints
>"Ah do NOT have a penis!"
>...
"Uh, AJ, I think you were being a little loud right there
>She looks around and notices that the whole cafeteria is looking at her
>" Ugh."
>She sits back down and rests her head in her hands
>...
"So, uh-"
>Yes, Anon. I still wanna do you in mah orchard."
>Score
 
>Meanwhile, back at the Dash Cave
>Be Rainbow Dainbow
"I'm glad you came Billy."
>"Oh, I haven't come yet, but I will."
>You giggle a bit
>He always had a dirty yet funny sense of humor
>"And if you don't mind, please call me 'Bill'."
"Oh, sure thing, Bill"
>You sort of wish he didn't use that name
>It makes him sound old
"Anyway, make yourself at home. We have a LOT to get down to."
>"Now you're talking my language."
>You slip into the other room, to slip into something a bit more, comfortable
 
>Next day
>You are Anonymous
>Yesterday you had a fun day with Applejack
>Unfortunately you don't remember most of it, because she got you wasted on hard cider
>But you remember the feeling of her vagina
>It was warm, and wet
>Pretty standard actually
>As you wait outside the school, you see Dashie coming up to it
>Someone is with her
>By the looks of it, an older guy
>"Hey Anon! There's someone I want you to meet! He's who I chose for the trade."
>As he walks up, you can now get a good look at him, and
>HOLY SHIT
"FORMER PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON?!"
>"That's right, young man. I take it you're this young lady's boyfriend? Let me just say you've made a fine choice."
>You look back at Dash, not believjng what you're seeing
"HE'S who you wanted to sleep with?!"
>She just shrugs and smiles
>"Hehe, what can I say? He's really smooth."
END