Rule #1 >rape
Rule #2 Because magic.
Rule #3 Lee Sin is the best champion of the game.
Rule #4 If you're not providing content, take your trip off.
Rule #5 ...And your name too.
Rule #6 Nebby is a butt.
Rule #7 Rarity has an affinity for alcohol.
Rule #8 [MOTHER] is watching.
Rule #9 Rainbow Dash is a bro.
Rule #10 If Rainbow Dash has feelings for Anon, Anon must be completely clueless about the situation. (The Rainbro Postulate)
Rule #11 Pinkie Pie must throw Anon a party.
Rule #12 The Circlejerk is a graveyard.
Rule #13 Anon must black-out at some point.
Rule #14 Hot Monkey Dick is comparable to Equestrian Horsecock in size.
Rule #15 Human stamina makes Anon a superior lover to stallions.
(Rules #14 & #15 are together known as the Sexual Superiority Theorem)
Rule #16 U wan sum fuk?
Rule #17 You gotta earn the right to Avatar-fag, and if you have to ask you haven't earned it.
Rule #18 Twilight will do anything for science.
Rule #19 Twilight will be interested in studying Anon...for science.
Rule #20 Applejack is frustrating as fuck to write well.
Rule #21 You are less manly than Theseus.
Rule #22 You are more manly than Lasagna.
Rule #23 All Anon's are in some way a self-insert.
Rule #24 Anon will always arrive mysteriously in the Everfree.
Rule #25 Fluttershy collects Anon's underwear.
Rule #26 Lyra has a human and/or hand fetish.
Rule #27 Flutterpriest is in fact a sixteen year old girl and has been for years.
Rule #28 No filly fiddling.
Rule #29 Exists to abolish rule #28.
Rule #30 Shit. Shower. Shave. In that order.
Rule #31 Blame the pony who raped you.
Rule #32 Acknowledge that it is always Fluttershy's fault.
(#31 and #32 is known as the ">Fucking Fluttershy" clause)
Rule #33 We don't fuck horses.
Rule #34 Pinkie rapes you without even being in the story.
Rule #35 No one must know you exist on this thread.
Rule #36 Lumberjack Anon is never raped, only harassed.
Rule #37 Requests are encouraged, but not expected to be fulfilled.
Rule #38 There are three known writers who will fulfill your requests if summoned correctly.
Rule #39 Slasher fights for your right to live.
Rule #40 The CMC try to get their cutie marks in human fucking, it never works.
Rule #41 Always have your special comfort blankie or plushie nearby.
Rule #42 UV provides the nightmare fuel.
Rule #43 We are not liable for wishing to commit suicide after reading a story.
(#43 protects us from #42 and #41 works to prevent #43 from being applicable. This is the UV chain)
Rule #44 >Bump
Rule #45 Puns, cats, and dogs all summon horrible things. Refrain from using them.
Rule #46 Jchallo has never done drugs and is never allowed to.
Rule #47 That writer doesn't exist but is actually a decoy played by another writer.
Rule #48 The only esc-[REDACTED]
Rule #48 The ride never ends.
Rule #49 Drama. Drama never changes.
Rule #50 Circlejerk stories are just that and mustn't be done.
Rule #51 Fucking Alicorns.
Rule #52 Cadance is her own loophole, allowing her to rape you.
Rule #53 Don't let the ponies team up, you won't survive.
Rule #54 The Anal Pulverizer is named for a reason.
Rule #55 Chasity belts.
Rule #56 Apple horse is stronger than you so don't fight.
Rule #57 Diamond Tiara will buy you.
Rule #58 Celestia and Luna can use the law to force you.
Rule #59 If you wake up with a pony in bed, it's too late.
(Rules 56-59 are known as the definite rape clauses)
Rule #60 You can't, in fact, rape the willing.
Rule #61 Nebulus is the hero we need, but don't deserve.
Rule #62 Zecora has a potion for what ails you.
Rule #63 All Equestrian drugs and poisons work on Anon, different species be damned.
Rule #64 Anon may or may not be resistant to magic.
Rule #65 "The Stare" can and will be used in times of desperate rape.
Rule #66 Changelings were born for this thread.
Rule #67 All Cutie Mark talents can easily be swapped for raping talents.
Rule #68 Your waifu a rapist.
Rule #69 ...Heh 69.
Rule #70 Trixie will always be Tsundere for Anon.
Rule #71 Go ahead and tattle, no one will believe you.
Rule #72 Using another pony for protection only delays the inevitable.
Rule #73 Sexual favors are the default currency in Ponyville.
Rule #74 Wearing clothes other than those for formal occasions is considered weird and unnatural.
Rule #75 When in doubt, assume Brownee is in the Hospital.
Rule #76 No matter how many skills Anon has, he will eventually need to ask a pony for a favor.
Rule #77 Equestrian alcohol is for lightweights.
Rule #78 Princess Luna is always spying on your dreams.
Rule #79 Tom is best rock.
Rule #80 Anon's mere presence can shatter married relationships.
Rule #81 Griffons are the only means of acquiring meat.
Rule #82 You can run, but you can't hide.
Rule #83 Adoption is not an option.
Rule #84 Answering the door is never a good idea.
Rule #85 A human's favorite food is always bananas.
Rule #86 If Discord is involved, give up; it'll hurt less.
Rule #87 Locking up your house is merely a formality at this point.
Rule #88 Trust no one.
Rule #89 Pony stupidity can be used to your advantage if done carefully.
Rule #90 Your story idea has been done before, get over it.
Rule #91 Humans can't get ponies pregnant.
Rule #92 Magic can do anything.
(Rules #91 & 92 are considered the "Satyr Paradox")
Rule #93 Every pony has its own brand of cereal.
Rule #94 Estrus = Easy Mode
Rule #95 If at first they don't succeed, cry cry again.
Rule #96 Anon may only bring to Equestria whatever was in his pockets and/or hands at the time.
Rule #97 Common sense is considered "optional" in Equestria.
Rule #98 If Anon's fetish is revealed, he MUST submit to whoever offers it.
Rule #99 Rarity is the only living being in Equestria that knows how to create human clothes.
Rule #100 Don't forget, you're here forever.