Episode 25: The Aria Beauty
 
(Act I: We open inside the dining hall at Canterlot College. Adagio, Aria and Sonata can be seen seated and eating. Sonata has a tray that is seemingly overflowing with tacos. They are dressed in hoodies and jeans)
Adagio: So, what shall we do for dinner tonight?
Aria: I don’t care, let’s just order takeout.
Adagio: We’ve already done that three times this week.
Aria: Why don’t you cook something then?
Sonata: I have an idea.
Aria: NO!  No more tacos! (Laughter)
Sonata: (Sad) Aw….
Adagio: Then again, considering the curtain men are coming to install the new curtains, I guess it might be better to order take out so the house is clean when they come over.
Aria: Who the hell installs curtains late in the evening anyways?
Sonata: The fellow on the phone said he does his best work at night. (Laughter)
Adagio: Oh well, we should be thankful. That means we don’t have to miss any class.  
Aria: Whatever. Seriously, what’s the point of all of this? We’re trapped in this world for the rest of our lives with no way to get back to Equestria. Why even bother going to college?
Adagio: Well, let’s look at the situation. Tell me, Aria, can you sing and hypnotize the landlord to let us live rent-free anymore?
Aria: (Sighs) No.
Adagio: And Sonata, can you sing and make it so that we can eat for free no matter where we go.
Sonata: (Matter of factly) Not as well as I used to. (Laughter)
Adagio: So there you have it, Aria. We need to be able to function in society now and that means we need to get degrees and real jobs.
Aria: I still say it’s useless.
Sonata: Aw, c’mon Ari. It’s not all bad. We still have eachother. Plus things are looking up for us. Dagi is TAing a music theory course and I’m working at the toy store.
Adagio: Speaking of which, I need to be going. Class starts in half an hour and I have to get the handouts ready.
(She gets up to leave and walks off)
Sonata: (Waving) Bye Dagi! See Ari, it’s all working out for us.
Aria: (Angrily) Correction! It’s all working out for you two.  My life isn’t getting any better.  No matter where I work, I never last more than a few weeks! Aside from you two, I don’t have any friends…(Quickly) Not that I need any!
Sonata: (reaching out to her, worried) Ari?
Aria: (Batting her hand away) J...just leave me alone Sonata…(getting up)
Sonata: Where are you going?
Aria: To class...not that it matters at all. (She leaves)
Sonata: (Watching her leave, sadly) Ari…(picking up a taco) Oh Taco...you’re the only one who understands me. (Laughter)
(As the last part of Aria and Sonata’s conversation was occurring, a very familiar red jacket and leather jacket can be seen sitting down behind Sonata. Cut to Norman and Brad at the next table)
Brad: I am so totally going to fail that course.
Norman: Well, maybe you should start taking it seriously.
Brad: But Dr. Yearling’s courses are so boring!
(Flashback to class. Brad stands in front of Dr. Yearling, hands in the front pockets of his jeans)
Brad: Dr. Yearling, I'm CIA. (Laughter)
Yearling: Mr. Sentry, why are you late coming into my class again?
Brad: If I show up late again, will you be angry with me?
Yearling:It will be particularly painful.
Brad: You'll get over it.
Yearling:...For you. (Laughter)
(End flashback and back to the dining hall)
Norman: You really need to start taking school more seriously. Our entire future could hinge on how we do here at Canterlot College.
Brad: Eh, speak for yourself bro, I have a fallback plan.
Norman: And what could that be?
Brad: My band!
Norman: But you have, like, only one song.
Brad: Yeah but “We’re gonna make love (Until you wake up)” is a classic! (Laughter)
Norman: Seriously, you’re just wasting money if you’re not going to pay attention in class. So, any plans for this weekend?
Brad: Twi and I were thinking about going to the library tomorrow.
Norman: You hate the library.
Brad: True, but if we go to the library, she might let me into the restricted section later. (Laughter)
Norman: I hate you.
Brad: You?
Norman: I was thinking about asking the Aryan Beauty out on a date.
(Cut to Sonata with a surprised look on her face)
Sonata: Aria Beauty? (Laughter)
Norman: She’s so incredibly smart and beautiful! I mean, she’s truly perfect.
(Sonata turns looking at Norman and Brad)
Sonata: For realzies? (Laughter)
Brad: Well, looks like we’ll both be busy tomorrow. (emphasis on busy) (Laughter)
Norman: I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.  (He gets up)
Brad: Not staying?
Norman: No, I need to get to my next class.
Brad: Alright, see you bro.
(Norman gets up and turns only to see Sonata staring back at him with a big smile on her face)
Norman: C..can I help you?
(She just keeps smiling)
Norman: R..right, see you later Blueberry. (Laughter)
(Norman exits)
(Brad has turned to see Sonata)
Brad: Uh…
Sonata: Tell me about Norman! Why does he wear the beanie? (Laughter)
Brad: What?!
(Laughter to end scene)
 

(Act II:We open at the home of the Dazzlings.  We see Aria on the couch and hear Adagio from the kitchen)
Adagio: Where could Sonata be...her dinner is going to get cold.
Aria: Implying this pucks of faust knows what being passed off as burgers weren’t cold to begin with.
Adagio: Still, it is weird for her to be this late to dinner.
Aria: I’m sure she’s fine.  Maybe she had to stay after class to get help on something...again.
(There’s a bang and the door swings open revealing Sonata)
Sonata: Girls! YouWon’tBelieveWhatIJustHeard!
Adagio: (Entering from kitchen) And where were you, young lady? (Laughter)
Aria: Calm down Sonata...take some deep breaths.
Sonata: Sorry, I was just gathering information.
Adagio: About what?
Sonata: You won’t believe it.
Aria: What?
Sonata: (Smiling like a child) Someone has a crush on Aria!
Adagio: Oh faust...you hit your head on the way home didn’t you? (Laughter)
Aria: (Blushing) That must be the reason...right?
Sonata: No! It’s true. I heard Norman Normal talking about wanting to date his Aria Beauty.
Aria: (Covering her face, shaking her head) Hh...hh...hhh..his?
Sonata: Yeah and he said she was beautiful and intelligent.
Adagio: Oh I’m sure you heard wrong.
Aria: Yeah…(Turning on Adagio) Hey! (Laughter)
Sonata: It’s completely true though...I heard it with my own two ears.
Adagio: Well I guess it would make sense. Public enemy number one of Canterlot High in love with one of the villainesses who once tried to take it over. Truly a match made in hell.
Sonata: You better be ready Aria, who knows when he might ask you out...he mentioned this weekend.
Aria: B...but it’s too soon..I don’t even know him.
Adagio: (Walking over to her) Oh my...Aria, this is a side I’ve never seen of you before.
Aria: S..shut up. You and Sonata are just making fun of me and…
(A car can be heard in the distance)
Aria: Is that what I think it is?
Adagio: Come on girls...time to lead some fool to their doom.
(The girls run outside and position themselves near the road)
All three: (Out of key) Shoobie Doo Shoo Shoobie Doo…(Laughter)
(The car pulls up revealing the R&R Curtains and Drapes logo...below is the motto: “The D is Silent”) (Laughter) (Out step Norman and Brad with earplugs in)
Norman: Glad you remembered the earplugs from last halloween.
Brad: (LOUDLY) WHAT? (Laughter)
Adagio: (Stopping the girls) Wait! It’s the curtain men. (Aria is frozen staring at Norman)
Brad: Ladies...we’re here to give you the d…
Norman: (Angrily) Brad!
Brad: drapes…(Laughter)
Adagio: Of course...please, come in.
Brad: (Under his breath) Oh I will…
Norman: (Likewise) Shut up...so let’s see…(Pointing each girl to Brad, quietly) it’s Cheese Poof.
Brad: Adagio (Laughter)
Norman: Blueberry
Brad: Sonata (Laughter)
Norman: And…..
Brad: No idea of the other’s name...no one ever mentioned it back in High School (Laughter)
Norman: (Thinking back) Faust! You’re right...well…(Grabbing tool and following Adagio and Sonata into house past the frozen Aria) Excuse me, Twintails.
Aria: T...twintails. (Dreamy) He has a pet name for me. (Laughter) No, get a hold of yourself Aria! Do what they do in all those sitcoms. Play hard to get. (She turns and stares directly at audience) (Laughter)
(Cut back to the inside. Norman is busy measuring the windows while Brad has put a Taco on a fishing pole to try and lure Sonata to her room...Aria comes in from outside to see all of this)
Norman: (To Adagio) You know, the curtains you chose look like something out of the 80’s...like something out of Jem and the Holograms.
Adagio: (Threateningly) Is there something wrong with that?
Norman: (Cowering) N...no, not at all.
Aria: (Joining in) Y...yeah, it...it’s not like we wanted you to come here or anything.
Norman: But...but you called us for your services. (Laughter) (He turns and goes back to the curtains)
(Adagio elbows Aria)
Aria: Ow! What?
Adagio: What are you doing?
Aria: Playing hard to get.
Adagio: Really? Because all I see is someone who is trying to chase away the boy that likes her.
Aria: What? Then, what should I do?
Adagio: Come on, Aria, just flirt with him a little. Show him your interested.
Aria: Okay. Here goes nothing.
(She walks toward Norman)
Aria: (Nervously) H..hey…
(Interrupted by Brad coming over)
Norman: Well, that was fast.
Brad: She ate the bait.
Norman: All of it?! You had 10 tacos.
Brad: Yep...all 10. (Laughter)
Norman: Damn...so have you noticed something?
Brad: What, (Pointing over his shoulder at Aria) this one giving you the stinkeye.
Norman: Well, that too. No have you noticed that when Cheese Puff talks she sounds like Rarity when she sings. (Laughter)
Brad: Oh Faust...she does.
Norman: Right? Well, looks like we’re done.
Brad: (Stands and turns) Right, you’ll get the bill in the mail, ladies.
(Norman Stands and turns walking right into Aria and falling back pulling her down with him)
Norman: Ah...I’m so sorry. Are you alright Twintails?
Aria: (Smiling down at him) You’re picking me up 8PM tomorrow, understood Beanie Boy?
Norman: What?
Aria: You’re taking responsibility.
Norman: (Look of fear on his face, Interior Monologue V/O) Oh Faust...she’s just like Octavia! (Laughter to end the scene)

(Act III Opens in the van as Norman and Brad drive back to the apartment)
Norman: What the hell happened in there?
Brad: No idea man. By the way, have I mentioned how much I hate you.
Norman: What?!
Brad: Don’t you what me. I have to knock out every girl I get with except for Twi and meanwhile you just waltz around picking up girls left and right like some harem protagonist.
Norman: But I never asked for any of this! (Laughter)
(Cut to them inside their apartment building walking up to their door)
Brad: So what are you going to do?
Norman: Well I can’t go out with her. I love Rarity. (Snaps fingers) Hey! What if you dress as me and take her on the date.
Brad: I don’t think that will work.
Norman: Why? It’s worked before.
(Brad opens the door revealing the Main 6 in the apartment)
Brad: Because I kind of...might have texted the girls about it.
Norman: God Damnit Brad! (Laughter)
Rarity: (Running up to Norman) Norman! Darling, what is all this dialogue about you needing to date a dastardly dazzling? (Laughter)
Norman: That’s a lot of D’s.
Brad: I’m familiar with giving a lot of D’s. (Laughter)
(Norman shoots Brad a look)
Norman: Basically I bumped into the Twintailed one and she seemed angry and said I needed to take responsibility and pick her up for dinner tomorrow.
Rarity: So! Why don’t we send someone in her place.
Voice: That will never work.
(Norman turns to see a wheeled chair in the corner. It turns to reveal….)
Norman: S...Sunset?
Sunset: The one and only.
Norman: (To the others) What is she doing here?
Sunset: Oh Norman, don’t you remember? We’re the Main 7 now.
Norman: Since when?
Pinkie: (Popping upside down next to Norman) Since the most recent retcon. (Laughter as she disappears)
Sunset: Yeah, I’m all reformed and stuff.  Trust me Norman, you need to take her out. Have I ever done you wrong?
Norman: You stuffed me in a locker.
Pinkie: (Cartwheeling by in the background) Depending on the multiverse the locker wasn't the only thing stuffed. (Norman and Sunset turn to watch this confused) (Laughter)
Norman: I can’t date her. I love Rarity!
(Rarity smile and kisses Norman on the cheek) (Aww)
Sunset: It’s not a date.  Don’t you see? This is a major turning point.
Norman: Turning Point?
Twilight: Sunset’s right.
Norman: God Damnit Purple! (Laughter)
Sunset: Think about it. The sirens were vanquished by the power of friendship. And what happened in the aftermath?
Twilight: Adagio made friends and started TAing at school.
Sunset: And Sonata basically became a big kid making as many friends as Pinkie while working at a toy store in town.
Twilight: Which means Aria is the only one who hasn’t improved.
Sunset: She’s the only one who hasn’t been reformed. She reached out to you Norman. Surely this a sign that she’s willing to let the word of friendship into her heart.
Norman: (Confused) The word of friendship?  Purple, what exactly did your beams do to Sunset?
Purple: We might have put the fear of Princess Celestia into her.
Sunset: I’ve tried everything. I’ve visited her doorstep. Left tracts on the brilliance of friendship and yet nothing’s worked. This is the chance to bring her the good news.
Norman: Damn it Purple, you made her a Jehovah's Witness of friendship! (Laughter)
Sunset: Norman, you have been chosen! You will be the apostle of Friendship for Miss Aria!
Rarity: Now hold on a second, darling. I cannot allow my boyfriend to be going out with another girl on a date.
Norman: I have to agree with Rarity on this.
(Brad makes a whip crack sound effect and Norman shoots him a look) (Laughter)
Sunset: Trust me Rarity, it’s not a date.  In fact, while be right there in a booth nearby.  I’d give anything to see an actually conversion live.
Norman: (To Sunset) Are you listening to anything you’re saying? (Laughter)
Rarity: Well I guess as long as we’ll be there…
Norman: (Surprised, turning to Rarity) What?
Sunset: I promise, we will be right there with Norman, just out of sight.
Rarity: But if she so much as touches a hair on Norman’s head, I. Will. End. Her! (Laughter)
Norman: Don’t I at least get some say in this.
Rarity: Norman?
Norman: Yes Rarity?
Rarity: You have proven yourself an amazing boyfriend….
Norman: Oh go on….no seriously, do go on. (Laughter)
Rarity: Now prove yourself an amazing disciple of Friendship.
Norman: (Defeated) Yes dear.
Brad: (Whip crack sound)
Norman: Screw you! (Laughter to end scene)
(Act IV opens up with Norman driving up to the Dazzling’s home and pulling out his earplugs. He walks up to the door and knocks)
Norman: Well, at least they didn’t try to kill me this time. (Laughter)
(The door opens with Sonata there)
Sonata: Hi Norman!
Norman: Hey Blueberry.
Sonata: Ready for tonight?
Norman: As I’ll ever be.
Sonata: Well, come in then. Ari’s almost ready.
(He enters the house)
Sonata: Dagi, Norman’s here.
Adagio: (Seated on the couch eating walnuts) Have a seat Norman.
Norman: Thanks Cheese Puff. (Laughter as Adagio grinds her teeth)
Adagio: Norman, I hope you understand that Aria is like a sister to me.
Norman: Right.
Adagio: What I’m saying it that if you do anything to hurt her…(She grabs a walnut and cracks it with her bare hands)
Norman: Eep (laughter)
Adagio: Capiese
Norman: Capash (Laughter)
Adagio: Good. (Looking toward the stairs) Aria, hurry up!
Aria: (V/O heard from above) One minute.
(Adagio looks back at Norman and cracks another nut. Norman’s pupils grow smaller)
Aria: Coming down.
(It’s the stereotypical prom night seen as the camera pans up Aria as she descends the stairs. She is wearing the same outfit and dress as the final concert. She reaches the bottom of the stairs)
Aria: H...hello Beanie-Boy
Norman: (At a little loss for words, nodding) Twintails.
Adagio: (Between them) Alright, alright. Off you go then. (Aria and Norman go to exit) Oh and Norman? (He turns) Have her back by 11 or else…(Another nut falls to Adagio)
Norman: YES M’AM! (Laughter)
(Cut to the interior of Norman’s car)
Norman: So...where to?
Aria: Shall we just go to Donut Joe’s?
Norman: The diner?
Aria: Sure.
Norman: Okay.
(A beat)
Aria: Is this a Fiero with a bodykit?
Norman: (Yelling) It is the Ferrarity Equestarosa and it shall be addressed as such! (Laughter)
(Cut still later at the diner. Norman sits across from Aria.  In the back corner behind Aria and out of her sight is the Main 7 keeping an eye on the proceedings. The two seem to be sitting awkwardly across from one another)
Norman: So...how do you like Canterlot?
Aria: The words “hate”, “despise” and “deplore” come to mind.
Norman: (realizing he’s standing on a landmine, Nervous) W..wow, those are the same words I use about my roommate’s actions. (Laughter)
Aria: (Smiling and giggling) That bad, huh?
Norman: You have no clue. Every night it’s a new scheme. A new girl. A new annoyance.
Aria: I know that feeling. Adagio’s constantly trying to get me to leave the house. And all we have at the house are Taco ingredients and Sonata’s suboptimal fruit punch. Honestly, if I had to drink and eat that again I would probably have left the house just to get away from it.
Norman: But why do you dislike Canterlot.
Aria: How long have you been here?
Norman: Um...quite a few years now.
Aria: No, I mean on earth.
Norman: On earth?
Aria: We’ve been here for centuries...just watching. Seeing things change. Seeing people we know grow old and die. We’ve seen countries rise and fall. (Sadness) Who would want to make friends or interact with such a world.
Norman: My grandfather always said to make the most of the life you have...You only have one so make it the best. In that regard, you’re incredibly lucky. Your life can be so long.
Aria: And what good is that life if it just means seeing your friends come and go.
Norman: I’ve seen friends come and go too. Maybe not forever although, boy  it feels like it at times. The problem for you is that while you have been living your life. You haven’t made the most of it yet. You need to open up more.
Aria: P...perhaps.
Norman: (Changing the subject) Centuries though...wow. What did you and your sisters do during that time as mythical creatures known for leading sailors to their doom?
Aria: Oh you know, The Mary Celeste, The Titanic, the Edmund Fitzgerald...things like that. (Laughter)
Norman: Wow...the Titanic?
Aria: Yep...and Gordon Lightfoot still owes us royalties for that last one. (Laughter)
(The two share a chuckle at this)
Norman: So you’ve been with your sisters all this time?
Aria: Ever since Starswirl sent us to this world. They’re my closest friends and confidants. The only ones I’ve ever let in. I know they’ll be with me forever so I can trust them.
Norman: But they’ve stepped out into the public since the battle of the bands.
Aria: I feel like there has been a distance between us.
Norman: That’s because they are living life to the fullest. You need to follow their lead.
Aria: I’ve tried. I’ve even gone out with them to that pub quiz they go to a few times.
Norman: Pub quiz?
Aria: Yeah, you may not know this but Random Triviadagio is pretty amazing.
(Cut to blank background with Adagio in front of it)
Adagio: Aria, did you know that the average human secretes enough saliva to fill two Olympic swimming pools in their lifetime. (Laughter)
(Back to diner)
Aria: And even though she’s not brilliant, Daftnata is fun to have on the team.
(Blank background with Sonata in front)
Sonata: Hey!  Hey Ari? Did you know that whales have been known to kidnap human children and raise them as their own young? (Laughter) (Back to diner)
Aria: But now they have other friends and lives at school. I envy them.
Norman: You need only open up and you can be just like them. (Inner monologue) Oh Faust! I sound just like Sunset. (Laughter) (He’s jarred out of this thought by Aria holding his hands)
Aria: I want to open up...and….and you’re the one I want to open up to.
(She begins to lean across the table to him. Cut to the girl’s table where Rarity stands and starts toward the table till Sunset grabs Rarity)
Rarity: Let me at her! (Laughter)
Sunset: Hold on! Have faith in Norman.
(Back to Norman and Aria)
Norman: (Holding her hands, looking into her eyes but with a sad look on his face) I’m sorry. But I can’t open up to you like that. I fear there is another I love.
Aria: (Taken aback) Who?
Norman: Rarity...my Aryan Beauty.
Aria: Aryan Beauty? (Realization) Aria Beauty…(Through gritted teeth) SONATA! (Laughter)
Norman: I do, however want to be friends with you.
Aria: N….no!  No! If I can’t have you then no one can!
Norman: Crap! (Knowing where this is going he uses his hand to slide all knives, forks and other utensils out of reach) (Laughter)
(Aria grabs him by the face and pulls him close so they are eye to eye.  She begins singing to him, though out of key. Norman reaches out and covers her mouth)
Norman: Aria! That doesn’t work anymore.  Plus, that’s not how you get someone to love you! You’re a beautiful girl! If you just open up, you will be loved! Please...please believe me!
(Aria breaks down crying and Norman goes over to the other side and pulls her into a side hug)
(Rarity sits back down having seen and heard all of this. Sunset smiles)
Sunset: You have quite a guy there.
Rarity: He certainly is…(possessively) And he’s all mine! (Laughter)
(Cut to the end of the night. Norman drops Aria off at the door)
Aria: I...I’m sorry I tried to brainwash you into loving me.
Norman: Eh, I’ve had odder things happen to me. So Brad, the girls, and I are still meeting up with you for Quiz Tuesday night, right?
Aria: (Sniffling and Smiling) I’d like that.
 (She pulls him into a hug and releases him. He walks back to his car and gets in waving)
(Aria waves back)
Aria: Id...idiot. (She enters the house)
(We see Norman later that night watching TV when his phone buzzes. He opens the text and it is read by….)
Sunset: (V/O) Norman! You were amazing tonight. I knew I picked the right person to be the Apostle of Friendship! Your next mission will be that girl in the next town over that loves equality so much. We’ll meet tomorrow to discuss plans.
Norman: (Throwing his phone) God Damnit Bacon Hair! (Laughter to end scene)
 
(Credits scene: Open on interior of Dazzlings home as Aria enters after Norman drops her off. We see Sonata sitting on the floor in front of the TV, Aria goes around her.)
Adagio: (From the kitchen) That you, Aria?
Aria: (Entering) Yeah!
Adagio: So...how was it?
Aria: It was great...but I think we will make better friends.
Adagio: That’s too bad but I’m glad to hear you are friendly.
Aria: I am too. Hey, Triviadagio?
Adagio: (Chuckling) Yes?
Aria: How many tacos would a person have to eat before it killed them?
Adagio: (Matter of factly) 85 to 90...why?
Aria: (Yelling into the other room) Hey Sonata, who wants tacos?
Sonata: (From the other room) I DO!
Aria: (Rubbing her hands together) Excellent. (Laughter to end the episode)