Episode 14: Racist Barn
 
(Open in the common quad of Canterlot college.  Students hustle in the background from building to building and class to class.  It is around noon and the Human 6 are seen sitting under a tree eating lunch together)
Fluttershy: Rarity, What’s wrong?
Twilight: Yeah, you don’t seem like your normal self today.
Rarity: (Has been spaced out a bit until she hears this) Oh!  Nothing, girls...I’m fine.  Really.
Dash: Yeah right!  If you’re so fine, how come you’ve been so distant during your classes today?
Rarity: It’s just…
Pinkie: (Interrupting) You’veReallyEnjoyedGoingOutWithNormanOnDatesButYou’reWorriedThatHeIsAfraidToActuallyAskYouOutAndMakeItOfficial!
Rarity: (Shocked) How?
Pinkie: (Matter of Factly) Telekinetic tie to the writers. (Laughter)
(Rarity looks at the other girls who just give confused shrugs)
Rarity: Well...yes I guess that is exactly the situation.
Applejack: Aw sugarcube, I’m sure if you went ahead and asked Norman out, he would be happy to accept.
Rarity: Me?  Ask him out?  (Nervous) Isn’t that a little too forward?  Uncouth?  Nononono!  That would be a complete breakdown of the paradigm.
Pinkie: Break down of the para-what? (Laughter)
Applejack: Calm down, calm down.  You’re putting far too much thought into this.
Rarity: (Dramatically) Far too much thought?!  Why, this could change my entire life!
Fluttershy: Well...you could always just knock him out a-and have your way with him..if that’s what you l-like I mean. (Laughter)
(Everyone is in stunned silence)
Rarity: (Brought back to reality) Fluttershy dear, I think we need to have a talk at some point about romance and how to woo a gentleman correctly. (Laughter)
Dash: Listen Rarity, why don’t you ask Norman what he is up to this weekend.  Go out to the park for  a picnic or something.  When the time is right, you’ll be able to ask him out yourself.
Rarity: You know Dash, that just might work.  I’ll text him and see what he is doing Saturday.
Applejack: Saturday?  Sorry Sugarcube, but Norman offered to come over to Sweet Apple Acres and help around the farm on Saturday.
Rarity: (Whining) Applejack, can’t you get somebody else?
Applejack: Sorry, but its harvest season and we need all the hands we can.  Dash has a game, Fluttershy is at the shelter, Pinkie has 3 parties, and Twilight needs to take Spike to the vet for a checkup.  Can’t you invite him out Sunday?
Rarity: (Sighing) I have to finish a few dresses on Sunday.  It could take all afternoon.
Twilight: (Perked up, more excited at her idea than she has any right to be) Why don’t you help Norman work at the farm!
Rarity: (Deadpan) What? (Laughter)
Twilight: Help out on the farm.  You would be with Norman all day.
Rarity: But the farm is dirty, and smelly, and sweaty...no offense Applejack.
Applejack: (Gritted teeth) none taken. (Laughter) (returning to normal) Twilight’s right, I could even set it up so that you and Norman work together on your own.  Maybe then you’ll have a chance to talk to him.  Plus, we could use the extra help on the farm.
Rarity: (seeing this as an opportunity) Alright!  I’ll do it!
Applejack: Good, I’ll see you at 6 on Saturday then.
Rarity: Six?  Why are we starting so late.
Applejack: Thats A.M., sugarcube.
Rarity: Six AM!  (She whistles, Sweetie Belle appears pushing a big red sofa just behind Rarity) Ohhh….(She faints onto it)
(All stare at Rarity, Sweetie breaks the silence)
Sweetie: (To Rarity) You owe me for this. (Laughter to end scene)

(Scene Two opens on the farm at Sweet Apples Acres, it is early morning.  Big Mac, Applebloom, Applejack, and Norman are all standing in front of the barn.  AJ is dressed as usual except she has traded her skirt for a pair of joins.  Norman has also dressed a bit more comfortably although he still has his beanie)
Applejack:  Where is she?
Norman: Where is who?
Applebloom: Rarity...she promised AJ she would come and help us out today.
Norman: Aryan Beauty!   Here!  No way!
Mac: Eeyup! (Laughter)
Applejack: She was supposed to be here two minutes ago.
Applebloom: (Pointing) There she is!
(Enter Rarity, yawning.  She is dressed as she always is, hardly an outfit to wear while on the farm)
Rarity: Hello all (yawns)...(to Norman) Hello, darling!
Norman: (Smiling at her) Hello.
(Rarity seems to perk up a little bit just at being near Norman, they smile at eachother a little too long)
Applejack: (To Norman and Rarity) Come on you lovebirds, we gotta get to work out in the orchards.
(Both blush a little bit at this)
Rarity: Right!  Of course.
Norman: Lead the way AJ
(Applejack leads them offscreen toward the apple orchard.  As they walk by, a bush starts shaking and Twilight with Spike in her bag pops up).
Spike: (Yawning) Twi...tell me again why we are up at six in the morning?
Twilight: We need to make sure everything goes as I want it to today.
Spike: And this was important enough to skip my check up at the vet today for what reason?  It’s just Rarity and AJ working on her farm.
Twilight: It’s just like my fanfictions! (Laughter)
Spike: You mean those fics you put in the box under your bed that says “Spike, Keep Out”? (Laughter)
Twilight: How do you know about that?
Spike: Reasons. (Laughter)
(Cut back to Norman, AJ, and Rarity in the orchard near the trees.  Norman and Rarity are picking the apples one at a time and dropping them in buckets set on the ground.  AJ meanwhile kicks one of the trees resulting in all of the apples falling out of the tree into all the buckets spread around it.  Norman and Rarity are seen just staring in awe at her.)
Norman: (deadpan) Thats impossible. (Laughter)
Rarity: Darling thats amazing.
Applejack: Aw shucks, taint nothin.  Anyhow, I need to work on a more trees on the other side of the orchard.  Norman, you stay here and help Rarity.
Norman: Alright.
(AJ walks past Rarity and winks at her)
(Cut to Twilight and Spike behind a tree)
Twilight: No...Applejack’s walking away!  She’s supposed to help in order to raise the first flaf on the Rarity route.
Spike: You need help…(Laughter).
(Back to Rarity and Norman as they gather apples)
Norman: So why did you decide to Applehat and her family.
Rarity: Whatever do you mean, darling?  I love working at her farm.
Norman: What about that time you were going to help seed the fields but then decided to stay in and wash fabric for prom dresses?
Rarity: Umm….
Norman: Or that other time when everyone volunteered to help rake leaves and you had Sweetie show up in her place?
Rarity: She wanted to see her friends?
Norman: Or that time you said you were going to help harvest carrots but then just observed?
Rarity: Well, I was worried about getting my dress dirty.  Norman, I came today because no one else could help our dear friend Applejack.  
Norman: Well, that’s very generous of you.  C’mon, if we keep this up, we might be able to match Applehat’s five minute output in a little under 10 hours…(Laughter) (Inner-monologue) I will protect the Aryan Beauty and make sure she stays clean today.
Rarity: Of course Darling, just let me break for a minute to try one of her wonderful apples.  (She begins to raise an apple to her mouth, Norman notices a worm in the apple)
Norman: (Thinking fast, pointing behind Rarity) Look!  Hoity Toity’s new fall line!
Rarity: (Turning stars in her eyes and dropping the apple) Where!?
(Norman switches the apple out for a fresh one)
Norman: Oh...I must have been seeing things.
Rarity: Odd...oh well, an apple a day.  (She smiles at Norman and bites into hers, Norman, entranced by her smile bites into the one in his hand and realizes it now has half a worm in it.  So as not to look uncouth, he grins and bears it while swallowing)
Norman: (Internal monologue) This is going to be a long day! (Laughter to end the scene)

(Scene 3 opens at the farm.  We see Rarity and Norman still struggling to pick the apples)
Rarity: (Internal Monologue) Come on Rarity, he’s right there.  You’re all alone.  You can totally ask him out right now!  Heavens, you could do anything with him right now.
(Fluttershy appears as a kind of apparition next to her)
Fluttershy: That’s right...just about anything really, if you want to that is….
Rarity: (Aloud) Leave me alone Fluttershy! (Laughter)
Norman: What was that?
Rarity: Nothing!
(Norman walks over to Rarity and puts his hand on her forehead.  Rarity blushes hard)
Norman: Well you don’t have a fever.  Are you feeling well?  You seem distant today.
Rarity: Well, you see Norman (she turns and starts to walk away from him) There is something I wanted to talk about.
Norman: Go ahead then.
Rarity: Well, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you and…
(Norman looks up and notices that the branch above her is dangling precariously, about to fall.
Rarity: (Continuing) I think we should spend time together more regu….(The branch breaks)
(Things go in slow motion including Rarity’s speech which is slowed down for comedic effect (Laughter) Norman jumps toward her to protect her.  Rarity, oblivious to this walks out of harms way leaving Norman to have the branch fall right on top of him, covering him completely)
Rarity: (Oblivious) and so I think we should…(turning, no one there) Norman?  Must have gone deeper into the orchard. (Laughter)
(She walks off to the other end, Norman crawls out of the branch with leaves coming out of his beanie)
Norman: I wanna go home and play X-Box. (Laughter)
(We are treated to a montage of scenes set to generic country/western style music as we see Norman and Rarity working together.  Everytime Rarity tries to talk to Norman, something bad seemingly happens to him while trying to keep her clean.  In one case, she is walking right toward the mud pit of the pig sty causing Norman to jump into it.  Rarity unknowingly walks across him staying dry. (Laughter)  While working near a silo, Norman notices the there is a ton of grain coming down toward Rarity.  Seeing that, he jumps and pulls the trough to the other side, causing for himself to be covered in the grain. (Laughter).  Finally we see Rarity walking behind a tractor that is bellowing black smoke.  Norman, noting that it is backfiring  jumps between her and the tailpipe.  The tractor backfires covering Norman in a thick coating of black soot.) (Laughter)
(We see Rarity and Applejack working in the barn, sweeping out the old straw.  It is late in the day, the sun is going down.)
Applejack: How has it gone?
Rarity: Horrible!  Everytime I try to confess to Norman, he keeps disappearing…maybe he just doesn’t want to go out with me.
Applejack: Aw...no worries Rarity, looks like you are going to get one more chance. (She points at Norman walking in to the barn.  He looks like Pigpen from the Peanuts comic strip.  He is covered in mud, grain, soot and many other offal and seems to have a cloud of dust following him everywhere.  It’s been a rough day for him.)
Norman: (tired) Hello all.
Applejack: (Walking away) Norman, help Rarity sweep the barn, I’m going to go drag the manure chute across the ceiling to the compost heap.
(Norman picks up a broom and starts sweeping)
Norman: Sorry I haven’t been able to talk to you much...I’ve had a lot on my mind.
Rarity: No worries, I know that feeling exactly.
Applejack: (V/O offscreen) Heads Up!
Rarity: But I am expecting an answer.  (She turns her back to him to keep sweeping)
Norman: Answer to what?
Rarity: (Turning on him) To how you feel about m… (She turns just in time to see Manure land all over Norman after he accidentally swept into the compost area.)  Norman!  (She runs over and starts digging in order to get him out.  Finally she clears the area around his head)  Are you alright, darling?
Norman: Well...that would have been a crappy way to die. (Laughter)
Rarity: (hugging Norman) I’m so happy you’re okay!  (The two stop and look into each other’s eyes, they start to lean in but Norman stops her)
Norman: (Noticing her shirt is dirty from helping him) I’m so sorry….I...I ruined your clothes.
Rarity: Darling, I don’t mind as long as you are alright.  (She crosses her arms and starts to take her shirt off)
Norman: (V/O in his head) Thank you, Based Faust! (Laughter)
(Rarity removes her shirt to reveal….another shirt just like the first one)
Norman: (aloud)Oh come on!
(Rarity simply smiles at him and he smiles back)
(Cut to end of the day.  AJ, AB, Mac, Norman and Rarity are overlooking the now harvested orchard)
Applejack: Well, that’s another harvest in the books, y’all.
Applebloom:  Thanks again for helping us Rarity.
Rarity: Not a problem, darling.
Applejack: Thanks to you too, Norman.
(no reply)
Rarity: Norman, dear?
(We see that Norman is fast asleep laying on Rarity’s shoulder)
Applejack: (To Rarity) So in the end you never told him.
Rarity: It’s okay...I’ll tell him when the time is right.
(Audience: Aww to end the scene)
 
(After credits scene)
(Open at the boy’s apartment.  Brad and Twilight are playing Yahtzee.  Brad rolls the dice.)
Brad: Yahtzee!  Bradical! (Laughter)
Twilight: So I think I might change my fanfic pairing.
Brad: But you were totally into Applesack and Charity. (Laughter).
Twilight: I had inspiration today.
Brad: Really?
Twilight: Yeah, I’m not feeling Applesack anymore...I’m thinking more along the lines of Charity and Mundane Mitchell. (Laughter to end episode)
 
Next week: Episode 15: A Halloween Nightmare.