"Where the fuck is it?"
>You mumble this to yourself for the eighth time as you toss another sofa piece over your head.
>Getting to the Library, no sweat. Finding the book of horrors that caused this mess, major headache.
>You have run around the main area of the Library, pulling apart sofas and scattering books.
>No sign of the deadly book of deadliness.
>You resist the urge to pull your hair out and try and think.
>Was it blown under something during the magical storm?
>Did someone come in and pick it up?
>You start to panic again. Did it get hit by lightning and burn in all the commotion?
>If you can't find the book, you can't reverse whatever the fuck happened to you.
>That is, if the book even has a reverse spell for it.
>As you stand there struggling to put a lid on your palpitations, you hear something.
>A low chuckle, reverberating around the Library.
>Recognising the baritone edge to it, you immediately feel the panic turn to irritation.
"Alright DisCunt, show yourself."
>No response.
"Seriously Dragon egg goose, I'm not fucking fooling around."
>With a poof unlike a bad fart, the spirit of disharmony appears in front of you.
>"Language my Dear Anon. You know how the ponies dislike that sort of behaviour."
>You fold your arms as he tries to wag a finger at you in disappointment.
"Cut the crap. What are you doing here?"
>"Oh, me? Well, I just happened to be in the neighborhood after visiting my deeear friend Fluttershy, and I thought I ought to pay a visit on grumpy old Sparklepants and her pets."
>You notice, as Discord lazily rolls around in the air as he talks, that his eyes are darting around furtively.
>As ever, the long necked faggot is up to something.
>You make it plain on your face that you don't buy his story.
"Now what are you really doing here?"
>True to himself, Discord puts on the drama.
>"My goodness, Anon! Such mistrust! How can your beastly little mind even think that I am being anything but truthful?
"Because we both know what you are. So spill it."
>With a sigh, the snake of sneakyness slumps.
>"Fiiine. Party pooper."
>In a flash, Discord instantly begins flying around the room, checking every nook and cranny.
>"While I was visiting Fluttershy, and I DO mean I was, I sensed something."
"Something?"
>"Yes. A presence not felt since...well, you wouldn't understand."
>You stop yourself from asking about the riverside of Mustafar.
>"So I rushed over here looking for...whatever was responsible. As I found nothing, not even Miss Sparkle, I proceeded to investigate."
>You are in no doubt Discord is referring to the magic storm that Twilight whipped up.
>You play it dumb anyway. Just to mess with him. So satisfying man.
"So, a mysterious presence, huh? And have you found anything?"
>The spirit taps his chin in thought as he scans the room. "Hmmm, nothing really. Well, except the book."
>Your pulse jumps even as you keep your cool.
"Book?"
>The draconequus gives a distracted snap of his talons, causing the eldritch book to appear in front of you.
>"Just a dusty old tome full of weird spells. I can't make horns or tails of it."
>You quickly grab the book out of the air and cradle it near your chest.
>Victory and a non-dragon existence is in your reach!
>"Honestly, you would think Miss Sparkle would take better care of her books. That thing was just lying on the floor waiting for a poor helpless spirit of disharmony to trip over it."
>The drone of Discord's usual babble fades into the background as you quickly make your way out of the Library.
>It doesn't take long for you to cross Ponyville and reach the hospital.
>By the time you reach Twilight's room, you feel slightly out of breath and very hungry.
>You could murder a cow right now for some food.
>Though you are probably only hungry for gems. Fucking magic.
>You enter the room to find Twilight chatting away to Spike.
>"...might not even turn into a real dragon. His DNA could splice together and-"
"Hey. Hey. Less discussing when my wings pop out. More magicking."
>You place the book on Twilight's lap and stand next to Spike.
>The unicorn quickly begins to rifle through the pages, scanning them with the intensity and practice of an experience book scanner.
>"Thanks Anonymous. It shouldn't take me long to find a reversal spell."
>As you watch the pages flap, your eyes are drawn to the little dragon next to you.
>Spike, obviously sensing a moment of tedium, has already reached for his gems bag and is munching away.
>As you spot the glimmer of those succulent gems inside the bag, you find yourself licking your lips in reflex.
>The crunch of the gems in the dragon's mouth fills your ears, torturing you.
"Spike. Could I uh, have one of those again?"
>The dragon looks up at you and smiles, holding out a small yellow shard.
>"Sure thing best brother of mine!"
"Cut that out."
>You feel a little guilty as his face drops, but you're too busy snatching the gem and eating it.
>The yellow shard is no bigger than the red you ate earlier. Cheapskate dragon.
>As you crunch away, you find a whole new collection of flavours explode on your tongue.
>Yellow things. Bananas. Mangos. Sweetcorn. Grapefruit.
>You flinch even as the flavour wheel reached Lemon.
>Holy shit so much lemon.
>Even as you gag and shake your head in disgust, you manage to swallow.
>"Don't like the yellow ones, huh?" Spike says smugly. "Took me a month to get used to the taste."
"Yech. What taste? It's like a lemon ate bad curry and squatted on my tongue."
>You continue to make faces and shake off the taste.
>Your head begins to buzz, as if you had downed a can of energy drink.
>Your hands and feet begin to tap and a shiver passes up your spine. Make that several cans.
>Twilight suddenly snaps the book shut and groans.
>"This doesn't make any sense! My grasp of archaic pony runes is nearly flawless, and there is nothing in here that mentions reversing dragon spells!"
>You grumble in irritation, feeling the burp sensation once again. Complete with heartburn.
>Strangely, this heartburn lacks any burn, but feels sharp and bubbly.
>You just described regurgitating stomach acid as bubbly. Ech.
>Must your future existance as a dragon be such a headache?
>Sure, the benefits have run through your mind. Flight. Fire power. All the gems you can eat.
>But scales? No more normal food? Hoarding treasure? Not for you.
>"Y-You mean Anon will stay a dragon?" Spike exclaims, clearly unable to hold his excitement.
>Twilight shakes her head in despair. "I'm afraid that might be the case, Spike. Anon may be stuck like this forever."
>You open your mouth to protest, and your abdomen clamps.
>Oh god here it comes.
>Oblivious, Twilight continues "Of course, there is the possibility Anon is not a-"
>You give what feels like a hiccup cough, and bright yellow electricity arcs from your mouth.
>The lightning forks across the room but thankfully stops short of hitting anyone or anything.
>Your abdomen relaxes and you double over once again as the heartburn recedes.
>As you look up, Twilight and Spike are staring at you with wide eyes.
"...dragon." Twilight finishes timidly.
>With a shudder, you collapse against the wall.
"This is insane. What kind of dragon breathes lightning anyway?"
>Twilight anxiously rubs her forehead. "Anon, there has never been a lightning dragon. Seriously. It's completely impossible."
>"Yeah," Spike adds "it's completely dumb as well. Fire is much more useful."
>You stare at the two of them.
"It must have been that gem. The yellow one. Spike, hand me more."
>The baby dragon obliges and hands you two more shards, red and yellow.
>You down the red one, and sure enough you're belching flame within half a minute.
>You quickly swallow the yellow, and electricity soon follows.
>The pain in your gut and throat intensifies as the last forks fade from your open mouth.
>You throw a pleading look at Twilight, who shakes her head sadly.
>"I'm sorry Anon. I don't know what's going on. If you're not a dragon, then what are you?"
>What are you?
>You stare at your own hands in dismay, shaking them in front of you.
"What am I?"
>Yellow lightning jumps between your fingers.
>Wait what the fuck.
"Did you just see that?"
>"See what, Anon?" Spike asks.
"...Never mind. Just, please, Twi, find a spell that will fix this."
>"I'll try Anon. I really will. I'm just not sure that I can. Nobody has ever heard of such a bizzare spell."
>"Who even wants a spell that turns gems you eat into magic breath?" Spike adds.
>You slump in defeat.
>The rest of your life, eating gems that give you horrible gas and hallucinations.
>And now, no badass wings or scales.
>Being a dragon would have been a lot cooler.
>You feel a small claw on your shoulder, and you look up to a beaming baby dragon.
>"Come on Anon! It's not the end of the world! Let's go back home, I have bigger gems in my stash!"
>You look over to Twilight, who is visibly worried.
>"Are you going to be ok?"
>You manage to nod.
"I'll live."
>She nods. "I'll keep going over this book. Maybe there's something I missed. I'll let you know what I find."
>You stand and give her a quick cuddle.
"Thanks Twi."
>You head out of the hospital with Spike and head for the Library.
>The rest of your life, eating gems.
>The though weighs on your mind as you mechanically walk along with the dragon.
>Regular food never satisfying. The hunger for gems, unending.
>It's a good thing there's so many of them lying around. From what you hear, Spike and his love crush Rarity just dig them out from under the topsoil.
>Rarity. A nice enough pony, bit snooty. She wouldn't know anything about gems causing magic halitosis.
>Actually, most of Twilight's gang wouldn't be able to help-
>"I mean think about it, Anon! It makes perfect sense!"
>You stumble out of your thoughts and realise Spike had been holding a one-way conversation.
"Um, say again?"
>"Perfect sense!" He repeats. "The magic storm must have made you a magic dragon!"
"Aren't all dragons magic anyway?"
>Once again, guilt at seeing his happy face drop.
>"Yeah, you're right. I'm as stumped as Twilight then."
>You push open the door to the Library, fully expecting it to be empty.
>What you did not expect was Discord still floating in the middle of the room. Talking to himself.
>"...Of course, when Celestia blamed meeee for the chocolate, I officially denied it and-"
>"D-Discord!" Spike yells, pointing an accusing claw.
>Smooth.
>The chaotic being jumps at his name and swirls over towards you.
>Upon seeing it is just you and Spike, his mood drops.
>"Oh. Welcome back Anon. Shrimp."
>"Spike." The dragon grumbles, trying ever so hard to be tough.
>"Shrimp."
"Were you talking to yourself all this time?"
>"One does not need another pair of ears to hold a conversation, dear Anon." The draconequus huffs, flinging his arms out and dropping ears.
"Right. Whatever. Can you go now?"
>"Oh sure, sure. Just as soon as I find the source of this strange disturbance."
>You grind your teeth as he snakes away and begins rooting around the room again.
>The last thing you need is Discord winding you up and demanding a full show of your gem eating habits.
>A lightbulb pops in your head and you smirk.
"I'm sure Fluttershy wouldn't appreciate you hassling us in her."
>No response from Mr. Chaos.
"Would be a shame if someone were to tell her."
>As planned, the spirit flinches and swirls towards you with narrowed eyes.
>"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me."
>You stare unblinking into those mismatched eyes.
>A minute passes, and he finally gives and backs away.
>"Fine. Indulge yourselves without me. I'm sure whatever it was that happened here won't come along and gobble the two of you up."
>In a poof, he is gone.
"Asswipe."
>"Language, Anon." His voice echoes.
>Double asswipe.
>"Man, that Discord huh?" Spike shakes his tiny fist. "I don't know why Fluttershy even likes him."
"A mystery to us all."
>"Why was he even here, anyway?"
"Said he felt a disturbance in the force. Guess Twilight's haywire spell attracted him."
>The dragon tilts his head in curiosity. "The force?"
"Never mind."
>You slouch on the nearby sofa and let out a sigh. A spark of electricity flickers in the air you breathe out.
>Already you are feeling a little hungry. The ride never ends.
>Spike disappears up to his room and quickly returns with an armful of gems.
>Even the sight of such delicacies sets your mouth alight.
>Rocks, Anon. Fucking. Rocks.
>B-b-but muh hunger.
>"I got these gems last week. I've been meaning to eat them at some point, so now we can share them!"
"Woo hoo."
>Your poor enthusiasm whooshes over his tiny head.
>"Yeah! So which one would you like, Anon?"
>You ponder the gems Spike holds out to you. All are roughly medium sized, no bigger than your palm.
>After much debate, you select a clear blue square gem.
>Spike sits next to you and already bites down on a large ruby.
>You take a small nibble at your gem and immediately taste blue.
>Specifically, blueberries.
>You risk further bites, but it's still just blueberries.
>Slightly disappointing, but at least it's edible.
"Just blueberries."
>"Yeah, I don't really like those." Spike comments.
>After you finish swallowing the last of the gem, you sit back and await the results.
>A minute passes. Then two.
>Four minutes. You pat your stomach in worry. Did you break the magic already?
>Nearing five minutes, the bubbling begins.
>Spoke too soon Anon.
>The heartburn rising in your chest feels particularly wet to you. If heartburn could ever feel wet.
>Your abdomen locks. Containment is futile.
>A jet of water shoots out of your mouth, reaching the far wall of the library and soaking a fair amount of books.
>You panic choke as the water begins flowing back down your throat as well.
>Thankfully the jet only lasts a couple of seconds, but you splutter and hack once it's over.
"Fucking christ."
>"Wow Anon. Blue makes you spit water!"
"Really? I didn't notice."
>The back of your throat hurts and your eyes blur. Avoid the blue gems, you tell yourself.
>As you get your coughs under control, you find that your hunger is much more sated.
>Eat the gems to fill yourself, but at the cost of whatever effect the gems have.
>You really hope Twi finds that reversal spell.
>Collapsing back on the sofa, you feel drained of energy and find yourself drifting off.
>Before you can depart to the land of Nod, the creak of wood fills your ears.
>You turn to look at the Library door, recognising the sound.
>You feel your eyes widen as you try and contemplate what you see.
>Princess Celestia.
>Rainbow mane and all dat shit.
>Judging by the choked yelp next to you, Spike has spotted her too.
>The princess slowly walks over to you and stops, eyeing you in her motherly regal way.
>Normally you only see Her Majesty when you and Twilight visit Canterlot, so seeing her here is a big surprise.
"Sup Celestia."
>Casualness is something she allows you.
>"Anonymous." She says with an incline of her head.
>As with Discord, you notice her eyes searching the room.
"Uh, Twilight's not here. She's, uh..."
>How do you tell the horse that controls the sun that you landed her prize student in hospital?
>The eyes return to lock with yours. They stare, studying you, shifting from your face to your body.
>You feel the sweat already pooling.
>"I know where Twilight is, Anonymous. The hospital."
>Ofuck
>You make an audible gulp. Here comes the spaghetti.
"Um, well, uh, see I can explain-"
>She laughs. A kind laugh.
>"Oh Anon. I'm not here to punish you. I have known Twilight Sparkle for a long time, and that unicorn often had a bed reserved at the Canterlot Medical when she was younger."
>You hear a chuckle from Spike at this comment.
"So, you're not mad?"
>She shakes her head with a smile. "I'm sure Twilight is in safe hands, both inside and outside of the Hospital."
"Um, so why are you here then? If it's about Discord, he already left."
>Celestia's eyes widen.
>"Discord was here? Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Said something about a presence or something."
>The princess begins to circle the room, making the same checks that Discord did.
>Finally she turns to you. "Anonymous, can you tell me exactly what Twilight was doing today?"
>"Oh that's easy!" Spike pips in. "She was casting magic out of that scary book!"
>Celestia frowns at you. "A book?"
"Just some book she found behind a hidden panel. It's with her right now."
>"She's trying to fix Anon."
>You sigh. Loudmouth Spike as ever.
>Celestia moves closer to you. "Fix? Is there something wrong, Anonymous?"
>For some reason, your the residue of your gem magic kicks in and water seeps out of your mouth. Worst possible timing.
>As you quickly dry your mouth with your sleeve, Celestia's concerned look deepens and her horn lights up.
>You feel a sensation crawl over you, like tiny ants doing cartwheels down your skin.
>When it stops, Celestia's eyes are steely.
>"Anonymous, am I correct to assume that you have been subjected to some form of spell?"
>You nod.
"Pretty much. I can eat gemstones and vomit magic now."
>Your words seem to confirm something to her, though you see fear flash across her brow briefly.
>"I see. I felt it, and yet it was so faint I did not believe. But it is here. Faith help us all."
>You're not liking this ominousness.
"Uh, Celestia? Bit of context, if you please?"
>"Is Anon going to turn into a magic dragon?" Spike asks.
>Celestia stares over your shoulder in a faraway look, but quickly recovers and laughs softly.
>"No, Spike. Anonymous, as always, will turn into whoever he wants to be."
>She quickly sobers, donning a mask of serious business.
>"But as of today, he is the most important being in Equestria."