>Day 9999 in Equestria.
>You are asleep.
>A cloud shifts and the sun hits your eyelids.
>You are now awake, and rubbing your eyes in pain.
>You sit up, and come face to face with Pinkie Pie.
>You are proud you do not even react.
>"Hey Anon!" Her smile is only slightly less blinding than the sun.
"Hey."
>"It's 7am!"
"Uh, is it?"
>"You just woke up, in the morning!" She stops herself giggling on the last word.
"Right?"
>"Are you fresh?"
"What?"
>"I asked are you fresh."
"Pinkie, I'm not doing this."
>You push her off the bed and get up. She hits the floor and waves at you as you leave the room.
>"You need to go downstairs, Anon!"
"Shut up Pinkie."
>No more iPod for Pinkie.
 
>A quick look through your fridge confirms your suspicions. No real food. Just a piece of lettuce.
>Why not, you're hungry enough.
>You sit on the couch to consume your lettuce.
>Pinkie sits across from you on the floor, eyeing you.
>"What are you doing?" She suddenly exclaims.
"Eating breakfast."
>"Where's the cereal?"
"Pinkie, you don't have cereal here in Equestria."
>"How do you make it?"
"Cereal? Depends."
>She glares at you.
"Pinkie, it's just a song. Drop it."
>She huffs and stalks out of the house, slamming the front door.
>You munch in silence for a while.
>Where is your iPod anyway?
 
>Applejack asked for some help at the market stalls today.
>You finish your lettuce and go to check your clock.
>Your clock is missing.
>Without it, you have no idea how long you have left before you need to go meet Applejack.
>This is Pinkie's doing, you are sure of it.
>Might as well head out now and get there early.
>You open the front door to find Pinkie again.
>She shoves something into your hand.
>It's a Ushanka.
>You toss it back in her face and walk on.
>As you go, you hear her mumble into the Ushanka about a bus stop.
>You are ashamed that you even have this song on your iPod.
 
>"Why in tarnation do you even have that song on your thingamajig?"
>Applejack poses this question after you explain Pinkie's antic.
"It was put there by a friend as a joke, back on Earth. I don't like the song, it's annoying, ok?"
>"Well clearly, or else Pinkie Pie would never have started all this fuss."
>Suddenly there is a neighing sound.
>Pinkie trots through the crowd up to the stall.
>She is wearing a bridle and towing a carriage.
>"Hey Anon! Where do you want to sit?"
"Pinkie-"
>"Come on! You can kick in the front seat or sit in the back! Gotta make your mind up!"
>You look to Applejack.
>"Take the day off, sugarcube."
"Thanks."
>Ignoring Pinkie's protests, you walk away.
>You need to find that iPod.
 
>You cannot find your iPod anywhere.
>As you move through the house rapidly, you check under the bed again.
>Pinkie is there.
>"What day is it Anon?"
>You move to open the chest of drawers. Pinkie's head emerges.
>"What day is it Anon?"
>You go into the kitchen and open the fridge.
>"What day is it Anon?"
>You look under the toilet seat.
>"Flupf pflay ffif fif paffon?"
>You collapse on the sofa, Pinkie bouncing around you.
>"What day is it A-"
"IT'S FRIDAY!"
>She blinks at you.
>"Well duh. I just wanted you to know that today is the day I return your iPod!"
 
>There it is, offered in front of you in Pinkie's hoof.
>You snatch it and tuck it into your pocket.
>Pinkie beams at you.
"That's it? No more? No more kicking in seats? Getting down on Friday?"
>"What are you talking about Anon?"
>You think you hear your brain fizzle.
"Nothing. Just go please."
>Pinkie hops out of your front door.
>As she goes, you hear her humming.
>"Fun, fun, think about fun..."