>The brilliant glare of the late summer sun flickers through the low treelines as you put on your turn signal, the sprawling expanse of the local fair’s dirt parking lot quickly filling as you park.
>All of you quickly pile out of the car, and after a brief chorus of stifled groans and popped joints, you weave through the labyrinth of vehicles up towards the main thoroughfare.
“Celestia said that they’d be west of the concert stage,” you think aloud, one hand shielding your eyes from the reflective glare of the nearby water tower as you scan the area.
>”How did they get all of this set up so quickly?” Aria ponders at the dizzying array of rollercoasters down on the far end of the fairgrounds.
>”Never underestimate the power of funnel cakes,” Sonata quips. “I’m surprised they don’t have this place up and running as soon as spring hits.”
>You and the elder two regard her with a quizzical look before a voice catches your attention.
>”ANON!”
>You whip your head over to your left to see a short, heavily pregnant woman in a bright blue sundress bouncing on her tiptoes, one arm frantically waving you over.
>”Oh, it’s so good to finally meet you!” she gushes as you approach, springing forward and flinging her arms around your neck in a surprisingly tight hug.
>You return the gesture lightly as a tall man with a striking electric blue mop of hair strolls up behind her, gently encircling her with his own arms as she pulls away from you.
>”Ahh, Shiny! Stop sneaking up on me!” she giggles with hollow anger as he chuckles and rubs her stomach.
“I presume you’re... Candy?” you say awkwardly. “The principal’s email used some rather odd nicknames.”
>”Cadance,” she corrects you with a grin. “There’s only one man allowed to call me that, and he’s behind me with a ring.”
>You roll your eyes as the man extends one hand past his wife.
>”Shining Armor,” he introduces himself. “I handle security at the school.”
"So, the cop?"
>"Yep," he says as the girls finally catch up to you. "I got a good word put in by the principal, and they were happy to pawn off the position on me.
>His face lights up in mild shock at your grip as you shake.
>”Don’t dash off like that, Nonny!” Sonata whines. “It’s a nightmare crawling through that crowd!”
>”Yeah, Non-ny,” Cadance teases you as your youngest ward leans into your side with a pout.
“There’s only three women allowed to call me that, and they’re all beside me,” you snark.
>Red creeps across Cadance’s face as Shining throws his head back in laughter, the girls looking to you for context.
>”Come on, the rest of the faculty’s over by the picnic area,” Cadance grumbles as she spins on one heel, gesturing for you to follow.
>You and Shining share an exasperated look before falling in line, the bustling of the masses gradually giving way to semi-dry grass as a small grouping of weathered wooden benches pops up just over the hill, a handful of people already setting up plastic tables.
>”Celly!” Cadance shouts as she jots down the hill, coming to a shaky stop. “Anon’s here!”
>You see the tanned woman pop her head up from assembling a table leg and wave with a smile, getting up and brushing off her dress before walking over.
>You’d always been just a tad on the short side, but even in the flats she’d picked for the day, she’s got a few inches on you.
>”Glad you could make it, Anon,” she beams, her gentle smile grabbing your attention. “We’re all excited to get acquainted with the newer staff members.”
>Despite the lack of any tension, she’s blushing slightly.
>You let your subconscious gnaw on that bit of information as you return the smile, Cadance’s giggling ringing faintly to your side.
<><><>
>You sigh and inspect your nails as your uncle and the principal exchange pleasantries, you and your younger sisters’ stomach’s grumbling angrily.
>”So, where is everyone?” Sonata pipes up. “Shouldn’t this party have started twenty minutes ago?”
“What she said,” you butt in. “A certain SOMEONE said we shouldn’t eat breakfast this morning since we’d be eating soon anyways.”
>Your uncle sheepishly laughs and scratches his head.
>”Come on, we’ll help you get things set up,” he offers, assuming your complicity.
>Whatever. You always hated sitting on your hands, anyways.
>The four of you spread out, grabbing lawn chairs out of the bed of two trucks and assembling tables as a few more people file in.
>”So, Adagio,” Cadance asks as the two of you unfold the plastic table. “How’s your uncle been doing? Is it just you four living together?”
>You raise your brow at her shifting stance, your glare easily cutting through the artificial smile on her face.
“Shouldn’t you be asking him that?” you tersely reply, your voice hard. “And yeah, he’s single.”
>The woman sputters for a moment before laughing, her eyes frantically looking everywhere but at you.
>”My, you’re quick to the point, aren’t you?” she chuckles as she fastens the last table leg. “I just wanted to make conversation, that’s all. Oh, Celly, I need to talk to you!”
>She hurriedly walks away towards the principal, leaving you to flip the table over and line it up with the rest.
>”What was that about?” Sonata asks as she walks up beside you.
“She’s up to something,” you growl, your clenched fists shaking. "Come on, let's get seated."
>You’ve met enough social climbers to know when someone’s digging for info.
>You and your sister walk back over to the main gaggle, a sharp thumping sound greeting you as you make your way to the front.
>”Damn, Anon, who pissed you off this morning?” Shining bemoans, rubbing the back of his hand.
>“Come on, double or nothing!” he replies, his right elbow resting on the table, fingers flexing. “You ain’t a quitter, are ya?”
>He’d rolled his sleeves up, and your eyes wander to his forearms, an impressive coil of muscle on the underside of each, slightly swollen from exertion.
>“Watch me smoke this fool, Dagi,” he smugly says as the two lock hands again, each silently counting to three before straining against each other.
>You can see the vessels along the top of his bicep press up against the skin as he slowly pulls his arm back towards him.
>You blink rapidly and turn your head, heat flooding your face.
>“At least make it interesting,” he mocks, Shining’s face matching the shade of yours as he blows air through his teeth like a bellows.
>It was always apparent he was strong, but you didn't think he was capable of outmatching someone half a foot taller than him.
“Stop toying with him,” you speak from the sidelines as you walk around, hovering close to your uncle’s arm.
>”Ugh, yes, Mother,” he moans as he slams his opponent’s hand onto the plastic almost immediately, the table violently shaking from the impact.
>”Fuck, dude, take it easy. I think you bruised me,” Shining mutters as he withdraws his arm, clenching his fingers.
>”I got two gears, man: on, and dead,” Anon boasts. “They didn’t call me Python back in football for nothing.”
“That just sounds stupid.”
>He blushes and sits back down as the rest of the table laughs.
>”Wait, YOU were Python?”
>You and Anon turn around to see Celestia walking up, Cadance behind her with a devilish grin on her face.
>As your eyes catch the eyeliner and shadow on the principal’s face, everything suddenly makes sense.
>And it makes you furious.
>Impulse seizes control of you for the briefest of moments as you take the free seat by your uncle, Sonata already occupying the spot on his left.
>”Yep! I’ve tried to do maintenance since then, but this used to be nothing for me,” Anon replies. “I’d pick people twice my size up and drive them out to the sideline every Friday night.”
>Celestia giggles at his bravado, and you find yourself baring your teeth unconsciously for a moment before you reel yourself in.
>You don't go unnoticed as the older woman briefly locks eyes with you, giving you a small, warm smile before walking between two of the tables and seating herself to the left of Shining, with Cadance following.
>You could swear the guidance counselor's pupils were dilating from the intensity of the glare she's throwing at you.
>As your uncle turns himself back around, you scoot closer and lean into his shoulder, deciding that the fat bitch can stare all she wants.
<><><>
>"Didn't think we'd have a local legend at the meetup today," Celestia croons as she leans on the table, her half-lidded eyes locked with yours.
"Ah, enough about me," you protest. "Any more and I'll start leaking hot air from my ears."
>Oh nonononono," Sonata butts in from beside you. "I wanna hear this. Python? Are you kidding me?"
>"If he won't tell you, I will," Celestia replies. "Your uncle here is the best linebacker in Canterlot High's history. There's more than a few trophies in our display case thanks to him."
>You feel red in your cheeks already.
>"He'd always flex those forearms of his after a sack, and the nickname eventually stuck," she continues. "Nobody ever wanted to play against us out of fear that he'd take their quarterback out of commission for the season."
"Oh, please, you're exaggerating."
>"Not in the slightest. You had senior cheerleaders fawning on you during your freshman year," Celestia rebukes. "I remember a few off them coming to me to borrow makeup between classes, but I didn't think someone like you would draw that kind of... attention."
>She punctuates her sentence with a quick wink at you, and the color in your face takes on a new and sudden context.
>You're cut off from responding by pressure on your right side as Adagio nuzzles into your shoulder urgently.
"What's wrong?" you ask, your boss's candid attitude ignored in favor of your niece.
>"...I'm just not used to having this many people around," she mutters nonchalantly.
>You get the feeling she's not telling you everything, but you shrug and wrap your arm around her, the girl giggling to herself slightly as she presses her side flush against yours.
>The idle chitchat persists for a bit before a dark gray minivan meanders its way up to park by the trucks.
>”Took her sweet bloody time,” Cadance grumbles as the lot of you stand up, your eyes falling on an almost deathly pale woman stepping out of the van and stretching.
>”Forgive my tardiness, Tia. Downtown is absolutely dreadful to get through at this hour,” she says with a groaning sigh as she pops her shoulders with a vicious crack.
>”M-hmm. Set your alarm twice next time,” Celestia replies as she lifts up the trunk door.
>The woman rolls her eyes and joins her sister in passing pots and slow cookers full of various foodstuffs to the lot of you, bucket brigade-style.
>Gingerly setting a pair of wrapped foil pans down on an isolated pair of tables, you feel a persistent tapping on your shoulder.
>”Greetings, Anonymous,” Luna begins, extending a hand almost as stiff as her arrow-straight spine. “I am Luna, Vice-Principal of Canterlot High. I look forward to working together with you in the coming months.”
>You take a long look at her poised expression, eyes closed in an almost regal pose, and burst out laughing.
>”What’s the matter? Have I offended you somehow?” she asks in alarm.
“Oh man, if I’ve ever heard anyone reading from a script, that was it!” you bellow between fits of shrill giggling. “What’s next, a musical number?”
>Luna frowns and crosses her arms as her sister joins in your stint, barely suppressed laughter escaping her as she bites her tongue.
>”There’s something to be said for professionalism,” the vice-principal protests with a raised finger.
>”Lighten up, toots! It’s a party!” Cadance interjects with a slap on Luna’s back. “Now come on, let’s eat. I’m absolutely FAMISHED.”
>You suddenly decide that being between the pregnant woman and a buffet table isn’t the best of ideas, and slide out of the way as her and Shining tear open the first packs of disposable plates.
>”About damn time,” Adagio growls.
“Adagio, language!” you hiss.
>”English,” she deadpans.
>The lot of you briskly grab the appropriate utensils and pile your styrofoam plates to the brink, carefully making your way back to your seats.
>”So Shining, how’d you two meet?” you ask between forkfuls of absolutely sinful pulled pork.
>”Candy and me met back in the hospital when she used to manage preliminary trips for the AP grads,” he replies after wiping his lips. “We hit it off almost immediately on account of my wingwoman.”
>”Oh, shut up,” she giggles. “Twily had no idea what was going on.”
>”Keep telling yourself that,” he shoots back. “That little squirt’s dangerous when she’s paying attention.”
>”Why were you in the hospital?” Aria pipes up from her otherwise disinterested end of the table.
“Aria, I-“
>”It’s fine, Anon,” Shining cuts you off. “Do you remember that airbase bombing in Cloudsdale about seven years back?”
>You stop chewing, your eyes wide as you slowly nod, the table suddenly silent.
>”I’d just gotten back on solid ground about an hour beforehand, trying to find a bathroom when the bomb went off. Took a handful of metal right in the stomach. I’d have been blasted into paste had the other one not failed to detonate,” he nonchalantly continues. “Pretty shoddy explosive work for a guy who worked in demo, to be honest.”
>”Did you at least get a cool scar?” Sonata chimes.
>”Oh yeah!” he chirps as you hide your mortified blush in your napkin.
>”Shiny, please,” Cadance implores.
>With a noncommittal shrug from Shining, the table dips back into the low chorus of chewing for a few minutes before Luna cracks open the cooler by the table leg, pulling out a bright red bottle.
>”Really, sis?” Celestia gawks as the navy-haired woman cracks the seal on the daquiri, taking two sizable chugs to wash down the last bits of her sandwich.
>”Oh please, dear sister. I brought plenty for everyone,” she responds after a brief cough. “A little refreshment is nothing to be afraid of.”
>”That’s not the... oh, forget it,” Celestia concedes as her sister turns the bottle up again.
>You offer to grab up the empty dishes, piling up a stack of trash that threatens to collapse in your grip as everyone stands and stretches.
>”Here,” Celestia says as she grabs the top half of the heap. “There’s no way you’re getting all of that in the can at once.”
“Is that a challenge?”
>She laughs serenely as the two of you dump the refuse.
“Alright, let’s see if this fair’s anything worth writing home about,” you think aloud as the girls join you.
>You don’t notice the dagger glare the elder two of your nieces are giving Celestia as the lot of you make for the thoroughfare.
>And none of you notice a soon-to-be mother trailing behind, an almost lip-splitting grin on her face.
---
>Your timing is impeccable as you make your way back into the fairgrounds, the bustling crowd thinning out as people begin to make their way towards the animal shows.
“Alright, time for the fun part!” you grin as you crack your knuckles, sizing up the prize stalls stretching down the thoroughfare.
>”Some of these game prices seem really high,” Aria comments, her eyes soaking in the almost dizzying array of colors around her.
>”Oh, don’t worry about that,” Celestia speaks up. “I went ahead and got a deluxe pass.”
>Adagio’s scowl deepens just a bit behind you as your boss hands you a cyan slip of plastic, “ALL-ACCESS” emblazoned above the QR sticker.
>”So, Py-thon,” Sonata ribs, “since you’re such a big, bad dude, how bout a little wager?”
>You cross your arms and chuckle.
“Alright, shrimp. What’s your offer?”
>She gestures over to the nearest stall, an almost comically stereotypical bottle toss game.
>”You get two tries to beat this game. You lose, we all get new outfits,” she coyly says.
“And if I win?”
>”It’s a secret,” she whispers, one finger over her lips.
>You and the other three share an eyeroll, your boss handing the pass over to you.
“Game on.”
>The barker behind the counter smirks as you stroll up and scan the card, stepping away from the wall and yawning.
>"The game is simple, dear sir," he chirps. "You've two chances to knock down each stack of bottles. Topple all three, and victory is yours!"
>You resist the temptation to smack the false energy out of his mouth as two rubber balls roll down from a tube on the side of the stall, rolling along the sluice in the front counter to stop in front of you.
>The first throw lands square in the center of the stack, six pink canisters falling to the floor.
>You pause your arm as you reach for the other, listening to the ruckus.
"A plastic bottle doesn't make a solid sound," you whisper to yourself.
>A tight grin appears on your face, quickly followed by a second chorus of clattering as you curve the other ball, not bothering to shift your position.
>"Show-off," Celestia jests, poking your shoulder with a fingernail.
"This is the easy part," you mutter, the barker out of earshot as he moves back to the wall and leans, fiddling with his shirt buttons. "The last one's always rigged."
>"What, you really think people still try that?" Adagio interjects as two more balls exit the chute. "All the rigging tricks are common knowledge at this point."
>You point to the last stack as you line up and take another shot, sending the top three bottles flying.
"Look carefully. See the blue stripe on each of them?" you continue, another throw catching the rightmost of the three remaining targets.
>"...one of them's thinner than the others," Aria says, her eyes lighting up in realization.
"He put the weighted bottle on top of the first two to fool people," you announce loudly as you pick up a small chunk of asphalt from the fairground road and chuck it at the center bottom bottle, a loud snap ringing in the air as the stone splits the cheap plastic open to reveal the lead weight.
"Now, my question is: why does the manager of this humble attraction think that it is a good idea to try and fuck me over?" you growl, turning yourself towards the barker, his posture suddenly arrow-straight.
>"N-Now sir, I can assure you that this is a-"
"What this is, /good sir/, is a classic case of an idiot thinking he can pull a fast one on his customers with little more than a paintbrush and some soda bottles," you cut him off. "Now, if you were smart, you would've used softballs filled with cork and put a little sand in the bottom bottles, but that would require you to actually give a fuck."
>You're doing better at reigning in your anger than you expected as you lean over the counter, a leering, malicious smile threatening to split your bottom lip as you stare the pinstripe-clad huckster down, his body language not unlike that of a raccoon caught in a log trap.
"A stuffed animal of choice for each of the girls, and maybe, just maybe, I won't have your license pulled like an infected tooth."
>The barker slowly nods, backing away from you as if allergic as you step behind the counter, grabbing the prize hook from its perch by the ball tube as you go.
"Alright girls, take your pick," you say, tapping the stick against the counter as your free hand gestures to the myriad of plush and stuffing above you.
>"I call the snake!" Sonata shouts, jumping in front of Aria as the middle sibling points to a bright blue sea turtle.
>"I'll take the bear," Adagio mutters.
>You bring down the reptiles, Sonata squealing like a rusted door hinge as she wraps hers around her neck.
>Adagio stops you as you reach back up.
>"No, that one...please," she blurts, avoiding eye contact.
>You follow her gaze to see a white bear resting on the far wall, locked in a sitting position, holding a carnation pink heart with both arms.
>"Softie," Sonata teases her sister as you hand the bear to Adagio, yelping as the eldest gives her a quick yank on the ponytail.
>"Thank you," she softly says, clasping the toy tightly against her chest.
>"...Can I get the giraffe?"
>All of you turn to Celestia, the older woman staring at you as though attempting to still process the events of the past five minutes.
"Sure," you reply, pulling down the plush and tossing it to her, casually dropping the hook as you step out of the stall.
"Go put those in the car," you order, taking the door remote off you keyring and handing it to Adagio. "We'll be by the dunk tank when you get back."
>As the girls walk back to the car, you whistle a tune and stick your hands in your pockets, walking alongside Celestia as the two of you slowly meander down the thoroughfare.
>"Well, that escalated rather quickly," the principal remarks. "You're not one for subtlety, are you?"
"Say what you mean, and leave it at that," you reply. "Too many people want to play lawyer-ball these days. Whole lotta jaw-workin' for no good reason."
>"Preaching to the choir," she giggles.
"Yeah, I bet. You've got a whole lineup of aspiring bureaucrats above you, don'tcha?"
>The two of you share a hard laugh as you stop, leaning against the warm aluminum of the dunk tank game, nary a soul around.
>"...So, how are the girls?" Celestia asks after catching her breath, tucking the giraffe under one arm.
"Never better. Why?"
>"Well, I just want to make sure things are alright," she replies, her smile slowly fading. "I can't imagine what it's like from your perspective."
>You sigh at her obvious prodding and fold your arms.
"I'll be honest, Celestia - we've all been on a pretty rocky boat," you begin. "I still can't really process it. I don't see or hear from her for damn near a decade, and suddenly I get a call from my neighbor that she's been in jail for a month."
>"You can't help that," she croons, placing a hand on your shoulder.
"I know that. But still... did a lot of thinking, did a lot of drinking," you mutter. "Might've shed a few tears, too - that night's real fuzzy in my memory."
>Your vision suddenly shifts as Celestia pulls you into a hug, the giraffe falling to the ground as she squeezes you earnestly.
>"You poor thing," she murmurs into your shoulder. "Nobody should have to go through something like this."
>She pulls away from you, sniffing slightly as she smoothes the hem of her sundress.
>"I'm sorry. I tend to get carried away with subjects like these," she admits, picking her plush up and dusting it off.
"It's alright. I appreciate you listening," you respond. "I'm still working through a lot of these questions."
>She nods with a beaming smile, and your mind stops for a few brief moments as you take note of her appearance properly for the first time today.
>The light eyeshadow, modest pearl earrings, the peculiar shimmer of her hair in the sun...
>"What? Is there something on my face?" she asks.
>You snap out of your stupor with a rigorous shake of your head.
"Sorry, I was somewhere else for a second," you say, scratching your temple.
>"Wanna hit the Ferris Wheel?" she says with a giggle at your blush. "It's traditioooon!"