>That explains everything.
>The virus, the supplies, the clothing...
>Everything.
>That's what you couldn't remember about Earth.
 
>You were living in a zombie apocalypse.
 
>And you survived.
>Spike was right.
>You ARE awesome.
 
>But... Where are your friends?
>Most of all, where is she?
>Where is Noko?
 
>"That's... quite the story Anon. I can see why you wouldn't want to go back," Twilight said, wiping a small tear away, "You're even more of a hero than I thought."
>"Yeah Anon, that was amazing!" Spike yelled, now even more enamoured with you.
>Twilight got another notebook off of the shelf, already having gone through at least 4 by now.
>"Now, if I could ask, what exactly is a 'rifle'? You mentioned that in the story several times."
"It's a-"
>No.
>You are NOT going to tell them anything about that.
>You're already on thin ice here.
>And you definitely don't want to introduce the idea of firearms to such a peaceful place.
"You know, on second thought, I think I'm pretty tired. I'm gonna go to bed now."
>"But what about the-"
"Good night!"
>Wait a minute.
>Twilight never found you a place to sleep.
>PLAN B!
"I'm just gonna... curl up on the floor here..." You say, trying to find a position that isn't uncomfortable as hell on this wooden floor.
>"Are you sure you don't want a-"
>You let out the biggest, fakest snore you can muster.
>Man, you just have the best ideas.
>Dumbass.
>"Hmm... Odd..," Twilight says in a puzzled tone, "Note: Humans require minimal materials for sleep and can nod off almost instantaneously."
>As she's talking to herself, you hear a scratching noise, almost like a pencil to pap-.
>Oh my God.
>She actually took that seriously.
 
>You wait a couple minutes for Twilight and Spike to walk away.
>Apparently, they were tired too, seeing as the lights just went out.
>Well then, looks like you have to sleep now.
>Good night, self.
-------------------------------------------------------
 
>Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
>Why did you have to sleep on a wooden floor?
>Dirt was better than this shit.
>You can't even feel your right leg.
>"Good morning, Anon!" You hear Twilight chime as she walks down the stairs.
>You try and peel your limp body off of the hardwood floor.
>"How was your sleep?" Twilight said while grabbing her saddle-bag-thing.
>She seems pretty cheery.
>No need to ruin her mood.
>Right?
>Fuck that shit.
>You feel like you got hit by a train.
"Terrible."
>That's right.
>You don't take that shit lying down.
>Well, besides the fact you did.
>"I'm sorry to hear that, Anon," Twilight said, looking slightly disappointed, "I guess I'll have to add 'finding Anon better sleeping arrangements' to my checklist for today."
>Spike walks down the stairs, carrying a thick spool of paper.
>"Spike, add-"
>"Yeah yeah I heard you." Spike grumbled, making it pretty clear he's not a morning person.
>He unrolls the spool slightly, revealing a portion of the list.
>It's just check-boxes next to pictures.
>Well, saves paper, I guess.
>"Well, Anon, I'm off to run some morning errands!" Twilight says, trotting over to the door.
>Your stomach growls loudly.
"Uh, what about breakfast?" You ask, remembering that you haven't had food in 3 days.
>"I'll get you something and come back," She spoke as she walked out the door.
>Great.
>Hopefully you won't starve.
>Thankfully you had some tea at the hospital, or else you'd probably died of thirst by now.
>Speaking of thirst, you're parched.
>Maybe there's a canteen in your rucksack.
>You toss aside the items from before, and pull out a bottle of warm water.
>That shit gets downed in ten seconds flat.
>Hey, there's another zipper in here.
>Apparently, you don't remember 'everything'.
>Strange, why would there be a pocket inside a pocket?
>You pull out a cylinder covered in brown paper.
>Hmmm... interesting.
>You carefully unwrap the paper, which you clearly put on very meticulously to make it re-usable.
>It's a rolled up magazine...
>I wonder what it i-
>Oh.
 
>Oh my.
 
>It's crinkled and slightly worn, but it's most certainly a nudie mag.
>You open it up and flip through the pages.
>Thank god they aren't sticky, even if it is your magazine.
>Oh shit.
>You're the only human in this world.
>As in no women.
>Shit.
>Forever alone.jpg
>No women...
>Looks like you're going to be spending a lot of time with Palmela Handerson.
>Speaking of which, I wonder how long it will take Twilight to get back...
>No.
>You can't clean that shit up.
>You're not even sure if there's such thing as tissues here.
>Oh God.
>There might not even be a bathroom here.
>You don't know how ponies work, man.
>You should probably look around the house for one of those, just in case it takes her a while to come home.
 
----------------------------------------------------
 
>After a few short minutes, you've found one.
>It's pretty small, but it should work.
>Heheheh, maybe you can use it right now...
>You grab the nudie mag out of your backpack.
>As you open it up, it seems like there's something else in here.
>A secret inside a secret inside a secret?
>That's really weird.
>It's another photo, but this time, it's almost pristine.
>And there's a note.
>'Dear Anon, I found this in your bag the other day. Since we'll be out of here soon, I figure I might as well give you a preview of what you'll be getting. -Love, Noko.'
>Wat.
>You look at the photo.
>Nosebleed activated.
 
>It's a picture of Noko topless.
>GOD DAMN IT WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST WENT WITH THEM BLARGHADFDKAL;FJA;DKG'DJKJ;K
>Now you're really feeling the pain of being forever alone.
>Well, you do have this photo...
>"Anon? You there? I got you a sandwich from the cafe! Hello?"
>Damn it Twilight, way to ruin it.
"Yeah yeah, I'm here," You gripe.
>"Oh, did I interrupt something?" She said, walking upstairs.
"Uh, no, nothing at all... nothing at all..."
>"That's good. Here's your sandwich."
>Aw yeah, some noms.
>Wonder what kind of sandwich it i-
>What the fuck is this shit.
"Uh, what kind of sandwich is this?" You ask, slightly discouraged.
>"A daffodil sandwich, of course! My favorite!" Twilight says, not picking up on your disappointment.
>God damn it.
>Horses are herbivores, aren't they?
>Damn.
>"Well, we're going back out. See you later this evening!" Twilight says, walking back down the stairs.
>Spike follows suit.
>Once the door closes, you take a seat on a stool on the upper level.
>Well, might as well try this thing.
>You take a small bite.
>Hey, not bad.
>It's kind of sweet, which is perfect for a breakfast food.
>It doesn't take long before the whole thing is gone.
>Wait, did Twilight say this evening?
>Well, now that your stomach is filled, why don't you go empty something else...
------------------------------------------------------------------
 
>After a nice session of "alone time" with the picture, you realize that you're going to be here for quite a while.
>What to do, what to do...
>Wait, this is a library.
>You're a derp.
>You should see what pony literature is like.
>That should shorten the time.
>This one has a picture of a leaf on the front.
>Cool, I guess.
>Time to see what's inside this bab-
>What the fuck.
>This isn't english.
>This looks like some sort of ancient cuneiform shit.
>Or Unitoligist script.
 
>Damn, now you miss vidya too.
>And you've already gone a couple years without that because of the whole 'downfall of society' that comes with a zombie apocalypse.
>This is going to be boring as hell, isn't it?
 
----------------------------------------------------
 
>After what seemed like an eternity of twiddling your thumbs, counting, and daydreaming, it's finally evening.
>It isn't long before Twilight comes back this time.
>And she's got a lot of grocery bags.
>Well, mostly Spike, whose head isn't even visible through the cluster of bags.
>"Hey Anon, I got you something while I was out." Twilight says, pulling something out of one of the brown bags.
>It's a much larger version of the notepads she's been using.
>She also floats a pencil over to you.
>"Here, I figure you can use this to log your daily experiences, or even pass the time," Twilight says, "I know I like to write in my spare time!"
>Really?
>After all the writing you do all day, you like to write?
>Someone's a ner-
>On second thought, you don't feel like being anything like that Guido zombie douchebag.
>Wait a minute.
>OH SHIT!
"Twilight! I just remembered!," You exclaim, "That zombie in the forest, we can send it back to Celestia to study in my place!"
>"Great idea Anon! We should get it before it decomposes too much!" Twilight says, her horn beginning to illuminate.
>Oh come on, do you have to teleport EVERYWHERE?!
 
>After another period of temporary blindness, you're back in a familiar setting.
>It's the forest you were in when you got here.
>"We should split up, maybe we'll be able to find it faster!" Twilight exclaims as she gallops into the darkness beyond the trees.
>Hell, why not.
>You begin to go in the opposite direction, until something gets your attention.
>Oh god, it smells like someone died in a bathroom at an Indian food restaurant.
>Against your better judgement, you head in the direction of the smell.
 
>After a short walk, you find what you were looking for.
>Oh god, it's even worse up close.
"Twilight! I found it!" You yell into the sky,
>"Hey Anon, I found something too! Come check it out!"
>She's not that far away.
>You make your way through the bushes, definitely the ones you went through when you first got here.
>"Do you know what this thing is Anon?"
>Oh shit.
>She's got my pistol.
>Before you can say anything, she begins to look down the barrel.
"TWILIGHT, NO!" You shout as you dive for the pistol.
 
 
>A shot echoes through the forest.
 
 
>Your ears are ringing.
>The flash is burning your eyes.
"Twilight? TWILIGHT?!" You scream as you fumble around for some trace of her.
>You hear something faintly.
"Twilight, is that you?!" You yell, now searching even more frantically.
>You hear a small groan.
 
>Your sight begins to return.
>You can see Twilight lying on the ground.
"Twi, are you okay?!" You shout as you crawl over to her.
 
>"I... I..." She whispers weakly.
 
>You pick her up, propping her body up on your knee.
>She rolls her head to look at you.
>"Wha... What happened..?"
>The front of her mane is scorched.
"Are you alright?!" You ask, getting slightly choked up.
>You brush her mane out of her face.
>There's some pretty bad powder burns on her forehead.
>"My... My leg..." She whimpers, holding back tears.
>Oh shit.
>Her right foreleg is pretty bad.
>She seems to have fallen on a sharp rock.
>The bullet went over her head, thank god.
"Don't worry, I'll get you to the hospital somehow."
>That cut is really deep.
>"But... Princess... Lay low..." She says, barely managing to form that short fragment through the pain.
"Twilight, I'm afraid of what might happen if I don't get you there ASAP."
>She's bleeding heavily.
>"I... I can... t-tele..." She utters lightly, her horn taking a faint glow.
>She faints, unable to muster the strength.
>Fuck, this isn't good.
>You use your survival knowledge to remember the old moss/civilization trick.
>You run, no, SPRINT through the forest while holding Twilight at your right side.
>She's under your shoulder and being held up by your forearm, almost like how you'd carry a football.
>The darkness in the forest begins to clear, and a town is visible.
>As soon as you break the plane of trees, you can see a big building with a cross on it about 100 yards away.
>Time to go for a fucking touchdown.
 
>As you make a break for it, a Rainbow forms out of the night sky.
>What the fuck...
>LET GO OF MY FRIEND YOU FREAK!!!"
>What the fuck was thaOH FUCK.
 
>Shit, it feels like you just got punched in the chest.
>By Mike Tyson.
>You being to fall.
>You roll to your left so you don't crush Twilight.
>FUCK, THAT HURTS EVEN WORSE.
>FUCKSHITWHOREBITCHTITSMCFUCKINGGEE.
>You think you broke at least 3 of your ribs on your left.
>Even though it hurts like a MOTHERFUCKER, you still need to save Twilight.
>You begin to resume your dash, but you see a blue pony on the ground.
>She's out cold...
>Wait, did she just tackle you out of the clouds?
>Fuck you, you little-
>Oh shit, she's bleeding from her forehead.
>A lot.
>Looks like you've got two lives to save.
 
>You try to run, but pain immediately stops you.
>Limping fast will have to suffice.
>50 yards...
 
>40 yards...
 
>30 yar-
>Oh shit.
 
>Something's not right.
>Gotta keep going...
 
>20 yards...
>Your chest feels heavy.
 
>10 more yards...
>Your breathing is pretty shallow...
 
>5... yards...
>Can't... breathe...
>You stumble, and smash your head on the door.
>Not... gonna...
 
>God... damn... it...
 
>The door opens.
>It's a nurse.
>She begins shouting something.
>You can see several medical carts being wheeled down the hall.
 
>Touchdown.