>be me
    >have single child
    >forcibly tattoo a penis onto its shoulder at birth
    >have a spinning toy over its phallic crib completely composed of miniature dildos
    >nightlight with dicks painted on it so that when turned on would cast dozens of shadow dicks onto the walls
    >raise the kid around the very idea of penises, never explaining what they are or what they do
    >have a penis cereal spoon and a ballsack cereal bowl
 
 
    >he starts going to school
    >give him penis lunchboxes, backpacks, pencil bags, etc.
    >teachers try and take them away
    >keep resupplying him with more, eventually the teachers and staff just accept my dick child
    >teach him about how sex and cussing and stuff like that is wrong, still reinforce dick culture
    >get him solid gold miniature dildos for earrings
    >he invites his friends over
    >his room is decorated with peen wallpaper, cock bookshelves, dick bed, the whole 9 yards
    >they play with all of his dick themed action figures
 
    >watch him grow up
    >he becomes an architect
    >designs his own house
    >its a penis
    >causes local controversy
    >mayor gets involved
    >soon news reporters catch wind of the story
    >live tv reports on the status of operation dickhouse
    >millions of dick-rights activists protesting against the mayor
    >president steps in
    >allows the construction of the schlong shelter
    >congratulates my son on pubic television for his success.
 
    >he becomes a national icon
    >soon tons of people begin to adapt to dick culture
    >entire cities begin to succumb to the hot new fad
    >eventually entire portions of the United States are inhabitated by dicktians
    >fast forward 50 years
    >one of the new dicktians takes office after a rowdy campaign
    >President Richard Johnson
    >leader of the Demophallic party
    >penis pandemonium takes over as new president redesigns country
    >cock currency
    >Scrotal school districts
    >Erect Economy
    >the united states finally gets back on track in terms of education and debt