I don’t get to air Lilly’s concern to Ritsu before lunch the next day.
We’re eating on the roof for a change, there are a few others here as well but not anyone I know.
R: So Lilly’s going away tomorrow?
H: Like I just said.
R: We should throw some kind of birthday party for Hanako today then!
H: Did you even listen? Her anxiety gets even worse around her birthday, I don’t think partying is a good idea at all!
R: Oh, I’m sure she’d appreciate it.
I don’t even bother replying.
R: Well, I’ll go tell her!
H: Wait, what? At least ask Lilly first!
R: okay dad.
Once again I find that replying would be bad choice.
Before I decide on something to do instead, Ritsu is headed downstairs towards class 3-2.
Her journey is cut short as she runs into Lilly in the hallway as soon as we’ve left the stairs.
I think it’s the first time I’ve seen just the two of them talk, the size difference is almost comical. Lilly looks more like a mother than a classmate. Some of the blame has to be put on Ritsu’s late development as well, as she’s still flat as a board and has no curves despite being the age she is.
When I get within hearing range, I quickly understand that Ritsu didn’t take my opinion into consideration.
R:…I was thinking just something small, like karaoke. You know, since she’s a singer and all.
L: I’m not sure if it’s really a good idea…
R: C’mon it’ll be fun!
L: This really isn’t about my will, but rather Hanako’s wellbeing, I’d appreciate if you could try to take the situation seriously.
Even if Lilly’s voice is as sweet as ever there is a barely noticeable annoyed tone to it.
R: but don’t you think it would be healthy for her to get out every once in a while?
L: I don’t think this issue is as simple as you make it out to be.
The sweetness is quickly dripping away leaving only the poorly disguised irritation.
R: I’m just… I think that would be what’s best for Hanako!
L: It’s okay if that’s what you think, but I know her better than you do. I have planned a small get-together with just her, me and my sister, who also happens to be a close friend of her. I don’t think anything beyond that would do any good but I appreciate your concern.
She seems to have noticed the foul tone of her previous words as they are once again covered in sugar.
R: whatever.
Ritsu backs away, whether it is because she acknowledges Lilly is right or if she’s just tired of arguing is uncertain, but I guess it’s the latter.
I don’t even get to greet Lilly before she has disappeared down the hallway.
 
R: Why didn’t you back me up!
H: because I don’t agree with you.
Ritsu grumbles something, but I don’t catch it, I don’t think there’s anything to catch.
R: Mission failed.
R: Would it be too mean to still invite Hanako to a night out?
H: Yes.
H: Yes it would.
We walk back up to the roof and eat the rest of the lunch in silence.
 
The mood is tense during the afternoon practice. Ritsu exploits Lilly’s lack of sight by shooting her as many glares as humanly possible, Lilly doesn’t say anything at all, Hanako is uncertainly looking around, unaware of whats going on.
Ken seems to be oblivious though, or maybe he just doesn’t care.
Still, we get through practice in one piece, even if RItsu is drumming a little too fast. That’s one way to vent I guess.
Hanako and Lilly hurries off as soon as we finish the last song, and Ken leaves soon after when Mio appears in the doorway.
I start my short journey back to the dorms, but before I’ve gotten ten meters away, I’m stopped by Ritsu’s voice.
R: Hey! Wait!
H: What’s wrong?
R: Wrong?
H: Yeah, you usually stay behind after practice.
R: Didn’t feel like it.
R: Did you hear me today? I fucked up every single song!
H: I wouldn’t say fucked up, but yeah, I noticed.
R: Then it’s a fuck up, if even someone as musically oblivious as you noticed it.
H: Am I that bad?
R: Not really.
R: But the last time I observed someone learning to play an instrument they became like super good right away. I guess she was the special cause, not you.
H: Your old band?
Ritsu’s gaze focuses on the roof.
R: Yeah.
R: We were pretty amazing, in our own way, but recently I’ve been thinking that maybe me as a drummer actually benefited from coming here.
R: Not because I fucked up my arm, but because I have to be good on my own.
R: I mean, I’m still in a band, but if… WHEN I get big, it probably won’t be with you guys.
R: and in a way that’s good, because I don’t have to rely on others, if I don’t make it, then that’s my fault, but if I make it, then it’s because of me too.
R: I still think it would have been better if nothing happened, but you can’t control these things, and things aren’t bad now either.
R: I’d guess things are like that for you too?
H: I guess.
H: I figured it’s about time I told you; I have a heart condition Arrhythmia.
R: well, that came out of nowhere, but I’ve been curious about it for a while.
H: I actually got my first heart attack when a girl confessed to me, makes the whole broken heart thing quite literal.
R: Really? I’ll keep that in mind when I…
The weight of her words hit the both of us simultaneously. She makes a feeble attempt at backpedaling by flashing a sheepish grin.
I feel a heat rising in my chest.
Ken go home.
I should say something, anything. Perhaps even ask her out.
I don’t.
Of course I don’t.
When we reach the path split, she talks once again.
R: Do you want to…
There is uncertainness in her voice. I don’t think I’ve seen this nervous side of her before. She always seems so determined.
R: Come to my room?
R: You know, it’s still a few hours until curfew, and we could…
R: Hang out! Like friends do!
I’m almost tempted to not say anything just to watch her tangle herself tighter in. she’s unbelievably cute when she’s flustered.
I resist the temptation. I don’t want to risk losing this opportunity.
H: Sure.