I don’t wake up until noon, but that’s okay since it’s Sunday and we don’t have any classes.
I consider going out to check out the festival, but it’s probably too early, it could even result in being volunteered to setting up a booth or something, so I end up doing what I usually do when I have time to pass; read.
I’m currently reading Alice’s adventures in Wonderland. I already know the story, but I’ve never actually read the book.
It’s pretty straightforward for such a surrealistic and trippy book. I often have a hard time getting abstract art forms, but this one is easy to follow.
It’s a children’s book after all, I guess.
And like most children’s books, it’s over pretty fast. Oh well, I could probably safely check out the festival by now anyway.
 
In the hallway, I briefly consider checking what Kenji is up to today, but honestly I’d rather not.
The few conversations we’ve had have all been pretty awkward, and he doesn’t strike me as the kind of person that would even participate in the festival, much less have a date.
I’m pretty proud of landing a date after only a week here, even if it isn’t a real one. I figure Ritsu will be good person to hang around on a day like this, where her obnoxious cheeriness might actually be appropriate.
 
It bugs me that her being happy bugs me so much. But really, what is there to be happy about? Being stacked away from society into a small cripple home? Having your arm broken and by extension your hobby ruined? Being a part of school club with a whooping two members?
 
I think most of all I’m jealous: Jealous that she can take her disability so lightly; jealous about how she seems to not be bothered by going to a school such as this.
 
I wish I was as strong as her, I guess.
 
When I get down to the school grounds, the place is already chock full of people. There’s a significantly high percentage of elderly, I guess that’s the only kind of people that don’t mind living out here in no-man’s-land. There also a lot of students showing their parents around; the thought of bringing my own parents here hasn’t even crossed my mind.
 
I don’t see Ritsu anywhere, so to bide my time, I decide to go grab some food. I go for the nearest booth, which is selling toriyaki. Usually a safe bet, it’s hard to fuck up unless you burn it or something.
 
This one is pretty badly fucked up, however. It tastes like anything that could possibly go wrong did.  The meat tastes like burnt mud, and the sauce doesn’t taste anything at all, maybe it’s for the best. I obligingly swallow the bite already in my mouth before swiftly making my way away from the line of sight of the person running the booth and throwing the train wreck of a meal in a trash bin.
 
R: Throwing food?
I’m taken a little back by Ritsu’s sudden appearance, so my response is so so.
H: Hello
It works I guess.
Ritsu is wearing a yellow tank top with a jeans vest, she’s also wearing some pretty baggy green shorts. It strikes me as weird, since pretty much everyone else is wearing their uniform, including me, so I comment on it.
H: Dressing up?
R: Hey! This is more casual than the blouse and skirt I normally have to wear you know!
I guess she’s right. It’s nice to imagine she did it for my sake though.
H: Wanna go grab some real food?
R: Sure, what was the matter with your previous meal?
H: Everything.
She giggles slightly at that. It wasn’t really supposed to be funny, but I guess I’ll take whatever I can get.
H: So what are we getting?
R: “What are we getting”? You are Japanese, aren’t you?
H: pretty much all the food here is typically Japanese though.
R: We’re getting rice of course, or at least I am. It’s the only true food!
She patriotically strikes a pose, holding one hand over her heart and the other raised to her forehead in salute.
I’m not sure whether I like her playful pretentiousness or not.
We end up getting rice regardless, it’s all right, as good as plain rice can get.
A pause in conversations appears between us, as we both greedily wolf down the rice. It is however broken pretty fast as Ritsu clears her throat and starts speaking:
 
R: You know, you shouldn’t be so down all the time.
She has noticed? I’ve been trying to not let it show, but I guess it did slip through. She’s right though, I’ve been feeling miserable all week, or all the time since the incident in winter, really.
R: I know it’s weird being sentenced to this cripple cage, but it’s really not that different from a real high school.
R: it’s mostly what you make it, you know.
The determination in her voice bothers me, like if she has made it into her personal crusade to cheer me up or something.
H: Do you think it’s that easy? That you can just will yourself to happiness?
R: Well, yeah, I willed myself to a light music club already, so anything is possible.
I don’t know what to answer, so I settle for nothing at all.
R: We should do something fun. There’s game section over there!
She grabs my hand and pulls me up from the bench we were sitting on, before she makes her way over to the game booths and make me follow her somewhat reluctantly.
 
We stop by a game where you’re throwing balls at bottles to win stuffed animals, Ritsu wants me to go first for reasons unknown, maybe she wants me to give the doll to her if I win, this way of hinting at it would definitely be her style, but I’m worried I’m reading too much into it.
My worries are without reason, however, as I do abysmal on all four tries. I only manage to hit with one of the balls, and even then, the bottle merely budges at all.
 
R: My turn then.
Ritsu puts the 50 yen required to play on the stall counter, before picking up the first ball.
H: should you really be doing stuff like this, I mean, with your hand and all?
R: Oh, I almost forgot
Did she almost forgot about her condition? Can you even do that?
My curiosity is quickly answered however, as she reaches into her pocket to pull out a short tray of what looks like painkillers. She pops three loose from the tray, before swallowing them, without water. I’m a little impressed.
H: Isn’t it dangerous to take that many? I mean, isn’t one the maximum dosage?
R: But it doesn’t help anything taking one, and I think it’s worth a little danger if it means I can be normal for a little while, no?
I want to speak up against her, but I can’t. It would be extremely hypocritical of me, considering I’m relying on pills with a list of bi-effects longer than a bad dream just to stay alive. Mine’s on doctor’s orders, but it still wouldn’t feel right.
Ritsu proves to be a much better thrower than me, and knocks down all the bottles twice, which rewards her with a big frog plush.
R: waaah, this is way too big for my room!
H: Mine too
R: I wasn’t trying to give it to you either, don’t get any ideas.
She impishly sticks her tongue out. I’m a little confused what she’s trying to communicate; I didn’t mean to imply anything.
R: We can have it as the club mascot!
H: Club mascot?
R: Yeah, we had one at my last school, it was alive though.
H: ok, I guess, sure, I’ll be super inspired to play by seeing this creepy green fella every day.
R: don’t be such a party pooper.
She does a weird, fish-like pout; it’s strangely cute in its own way.
 
The night passes by, until suddenly a lot of people start gathering in the middle of the school yard. Curious about what is happening, I ask Ritsu.
R: I don’t know, fireworks or something maybe? We should go and check it out!
She once again grabs my hand and pulls me with her over to the crowd of people.
My hand feels pretty nice in hers.
I’ve been thinking more about what she said about me needing to cheer up.
I suppose she’s right, in a way. It’s mostly just my own look on things that make me so gloomy.
There are people out there who are much more fucked up from nature’s side than me living happy lives, like Stephen Hawkings, for example
I don’t want to be sad and down all the time, I want to be in control.
I make some sort of oath to myself that I’m going to be more positive from now on.
It’d make Ritsu stop worrying about me too.
When we reach the crowd, Ritsu hastily detracts her hand and glares at me, as if her holding my hand was somehow my fault.
 
Or a fault at all. She’s not so easy to understand all the time.
Like most girls I guess.
The sky suddenly lights up in a huge variety of colors as Ritsu’s prediction of fireworks fulfills. It’s pretty, of course, but in my opinion, the few seconds of enjoyment brought from fireworks isn’t worth it in the end.
R: Told you so! My firework sense was tingling!
Ritsu has to shout to be heard over the noise from the fireworks and the crowd’s “oohing” and “aahing”
H: It’s not that special, fireworks are the natural way to finish up a festival after all.
Instead of shouting, I step a little closer. I’m not sure why, it just feels…
Right.
R: Hah! You are just jealous of my amazing fortune teller powers!
The firework show go on for a few more minutes before the last light fades from the sky and only the light from the moon is illuminating the crowded school yard.
And with that, the festival is over, and people start heading back towards their homes, cars or the dorms in us students’ case.
R: See you tomorrow!
H: see you.
And with those words, we wrap up the night and return to our respective dorms.
I collapse on the bed, exhausted from the eventful day behind me.
I fall asleep knowing that tomorrow I’ll be a better person.