Each paragraph is separate writing.
 
She fell asleep under the stars. I watched as her chest raised and lowered with each breath. She was beautiful. I don't know why though. Nothing about her was particularly outstanding. Her eyes were dark from lack of sleep. She was overly thin from times where she skipped meals. Her hair was always messy. She didn't wear girly clothes. Yet, she was beautiful. I always become happy when I see her. She brightens my life without even trying. Is this what it means to be in love?
 
Today I went to Rin's apartment. She showed me the painting she was working on. "It's different from what you usually paint."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"It's what's on my mind."
The picture was of the grassy hill we watched stars together on. The hill, trees, and road all looked normal. But there were no people and the sky was different. Random colors filled parts of the sky and stars were different colors from one another. Is this what she saw the other night?
 
-Rin-
 
We were at a diner. Away from us was a mother and her son. Hisao was watching them. I looked at them too. She was feeding her kid peas. The kid complained at every bite. Why does he care about them so much?
"Aren't they cute?"
I stared blankly at him. I don't know.
"Are they?"
"I think so."
I went back to eating. What makes someone cute? Am I cute? I think jellyfish are cute. The child doesn't look like a jellyfish though. Maybe there are different types of cute?
 
Hisao took me shopping today. He asked if I wanted things often. I wonder why he is so interested in helping me. It only started recently. He remembered I like oranges though. He bought me a lot of them. I like oranges like I like stars. But they're the same as stars. I can't have them all the time. Oranges are hard for me to eat. Hisao helps me a lot though. He's coming over almost every day now. He's different from oranges and stars like that. I think I want him to keep coming. He keeps giving me new things to paint.
 
I think time is mean. But sometimes it's nice. Like when annoying things happen it's really slow. And when happy things happen it's really fast. But it's weird. Sometimes it's really slow when happy things happen though. Or really fast if you don't pay attention. It's always fast when I paint though. I don't think about other things when I paint. That's why I'm usually alone when I paint. But Hisao usually shows up. He stopped talking when I'm painting. I had told him to a lot. I wonder why he watches me paint. No one else does.
 
"What's this painting about, Rin?"
Hisao asked me.
"I don't know."
I don't like telling people a painting is about a thing. The painting is the painting. If I tell you it's about this or that it's not just a painting anymore. Then it this or that that I told you it was. I don't name the either. It's the same as saying it isn't what it could be even though it can be that. People should decide what they think it is. It is what you think it is. That's what my paintings are. Other people are different sometimes. But mine are what they are or what they aren't but also are, because someone thinks that.
 
I did this painting a long time ago. That me is different from this me. But I'm still me. I think I'm similar to that me still. I wonder if other people are like me. they have a thing they have to do. It's like breathing. You can try hard to not breathe, but if you can you will. Even if you can't you will try. It's different than wanting to though. I wonder why I have that about painting. I don't like being asked to explain paintings. Hisao saved me one time. I fell down at an exhibit but he picked me up. I painted while thinking about that once. But it looked different in the painting. I never paint things how they were. Well sometimes but most times I don't. I also don't think about things when I paint usually. Hisao said he liked it and made me not sell it. I told him he could have it if he wanted it. It's with him now. I guess he really liked it. He never says he doesn't like my paintings. Most people look confused when they look at my paintings. Hisao sometimes does too. I wonder why he like them.
 
Do you ever think about nothing but you are still thinking? Like you are thinking words but they don't mean anything. Yet you can't stop thinking even though you aren't thinking of anything. Then your mind thinks faster even if you tell it to stop. And you try to think of another thing but can't because all you can think about is the nothing that's going really fast. I don't like when that happens. That's a thing I like about painting. If I'm painting the nothing thoughts never happen.
 
Sometimes it's hard to paint. i don't know why. Sometimes I do though. One time it was Hisao's fault. But he fixed that. Other times I just don't know what to paint. Even if I try to just paint it doesn't make anything. It ends up being random lines and colors. Maybe that's what's on my mind though. Sometimes I like those. Other times it frustrates me. I don't know why it is this way and the other way other times though. I wonder what it is that way?