"Mommy"
"Hm?"
I moved my eyes from the canvas to my daughter. She's cute. Auburn hair like me, and my green eyes. But everything else looks like Hisao.
"I want to help!"
I smile gently.
"Okay. Climb up on mommy's lap."
I brace my leg so she can climb up.
I can't really lift her up. It used to make me feel sad. But she's older now, so she can climb up and balance herself.
She clumsily climbs onto my lap. I move back and forth to try and help her.
After she settles in I nuzzle her hair with my chin gently.
"What colors?"
She cranks her head around at a weird angle to look at me.
"Whatever you want."
She grins showing all of her teeth. She's missing a couple that fell out recently. It's adorable.
I try to keep my thighs up and my back against the chair to keep her steady.
She paints random colors and lines on the canvas.
We've come a long way. I still can't understand a lot of my emotions, and I can't use words to describe how I feel. But this child always warms my heart and reminds me of you, Hisao. I miss you every day.
My eyes feel wet. They always get like this when I think of you. I don't get it. You're nice but leaving was mean.
"What's wrong mommy?"
I wipe my cheeks on my shirt and put up a smile.
"Nothing honey. The painting looks great."
"Thanks! But it's bad luck to talk about it when it's not done!"
She makes me smile.
"Sorry. Tell me when you finish, okay?"
"Okay!"
I nuzzle her head.
I miss you Hisao, but I'll look after our daughter. We're going to your grave tomorrow. I don't think she really gets it yet. She'll turn out to be a lot like you. I'll talk to you later, Hisao. I-
My eyes are wet again. I can't stop the tears this time.
I love you, Hisao.
 
 
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Beneath her daughter's lines, was an unfinished painting. A necklace with a small paintbrush on it. It was a gift from Hisao from a Christmas when they first started living together.
The brush end had splashes of paint on it and the handle was worn down, as if it had actually been used for painting. The background was a mix of colors randomly fading together, the colors being the same on the end of the brush.