Light
By ReactiveMary/Feodot
 
Chapter 1
 
Being blind doesn't mean that you can't see.  Not in the literal sense, of course, but the other senses can make up for a lack of eyesight more than one may think.  They say I can't see the sun, but when I step out of a shadow I can feel its warming rays.  They say I can't appreciate the beauty of life, but my fingers have felt countless unforgettable wonders of the past, and are eager to explore the future ahead of me.  Perhaps most startlingly, they say I can't navigate myself, whether it's simply through a small town or through the rest of my life, but my inner sense allows me to seek help when I need it, and in return, to help others whenever I can.
 
My trip to Scotland has been exciting.  Countless wonderful places to experience.  Countless unmet relatives, eagerly introducing themselves to me and showering me with welcome graces.  The chance to talk personally to my parents at length, something I haven't had the chance to do for years.  It felt like there wasn't nearly enough time to take it all in.
 
Not long after I had settled in, on the morning of my third day in Inverness, the call came.  
 
I come at my mother's call, and my mother hands me the phone, telling me it is Hisao.  
 
I ask him about Hanako.  He tells me that Hanako had holed herself up in her room.  I already knew this was going to happen.  He asks me about Hanako's past, I agree that there's a connection, but also admit that I know as little about it as he does.
 
It happens every year.  Though it's nothing compared to how Hanako herself must feel, it emotionally crushes me to know that I can do nothing to help her, and thus it became that I would, in fact, do nothing.  After the yearly ordeal, the first day that Hanako comes out, I'm there, just next door, to greet her with a warm smile.  I can at least find solace in the fact that she pulls through every time and gets back to her usual self.
 
As I'm thinking back on the past, another worry breaks me out of it.  I wasn't sure if Hisao knew how to handle the situation, let alone anyone.  "There is another person, though, that has been a subject of worry for me as of late."
 
What can I tell him?  The conversation continues.
 
"...as if she were a daughter or someone in need of special care, is only going to achieve the opposite."
 
Our conversation wraps up shortly after and I put the phone back on the hook.  Everything will be okay.  Hisao agreed with me on my advice, and I knew I could trust him at this point.
 
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Late in the afternoon of the same day.  I'm awoken from a heated talk with Akira and a couple of cousins of mine about classical music by the sound of my mother gently calling my name.
 
"Lilly, your friend Hisao is on the phone again, he says he needs to speak with you."
 
A twinge of fear in the back of my mind, I quickly sit up from my chair, and my mother helps guide me to the phone.  She places the reciever in my hands and I raise it to the side of my head.
 
"Lilly..." I immediately notice the strain in his voice and his lack of a formal greeting, "something's happened.  It's Hanako."
 
The mention of her name multiplies my fear.  "Oh dear.  What happened, Hisao?"
 
"I... I went to see her in her room.  I couldn't stand her being in the state she was in.  I was even worried that she might put herself over the edge and do something she'd regret.  Oh god.  I'm so sorry, Lilly."
 
I reach for the nearby chair and sit down upon finding it, resting my unoccupied hand on my temple.  "Please, Hisao, calm down, just tell me what happened."
 
"She had an outburst.  She yelled at me.  She told me that she hates you for doting on her like a child, and that she hates me most of all.  Screamed at me to get out an-"
 
I drop the receiver without thinking about it.  'She hates you'.  The words echo in my mind.  I'm usually able to keep a calm demeanor, but any hope of that is gone now.  Tears begin to flow down my cheeks.  I bury my face in my hands and begin audibly sobbing, hoping that nobody would come into the room at this time.  Not long after, my crying is paused by a sound coming from near the floor.
 
"Lilly?"  Hisao is still on the line.
 
I sniffle as I slowly bend down to pick up the phone, and once again bring it to my ear.
 
"Hisao..."  I feel a sudden surge of anger rise up my neck.  I'm about to empty everything onto Hisao, yelling a storm loud enough to awaken the entire mansion, for refusing my strict instruction and betraying my trust, but I pause.  Making a completely unladylike scene now isn't going to solve anything, and it would definitely be the rudest thing I've ever done in my life.  I can only manage one sentence, stated as calmly as I can manage.
 
"I have... nothing to say to you," I mutter, and will myself not to slam the phone as I hang up.  The crying does not resume, but I remain sitting forlornly still.
 
I'm not angry at Hisao.  Sure, the trust I thought I had in him is now gone, but all things considered, I should have seen this coming.  Hisao cares for Hanako deeply, I have little doubt that he even loves her.  With me leaving in addition to everything, Hanako may be worse off than ever, he'd figure, and decide to do something unimaginably thick-headed.
 
Alas, I cannot blame him for that.  
 
The real reason for my near-outburst were the three words that still linger in my thoughts.  I feel like I can no longer trust Hisao, but I'm sure he was telling me the truth.  A feeling of familiarity rises from this situation, mainly because it was not the first time I had heard words like that.  It was one year ago, back when I was first settling into Yamaku's dorms, and the words came from Hanako's own lips.