>You are Anon.
>Ruler of all that you survey.
>The one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.
>When you moved to this shit town for shit reasons when you were 14, it took you less than a week to realize the smart play was to befriend Pinkie Pie.
>I mean, come on.
>She's friends with literally everyone.
>Dealing with her sparkling personality was a small price to pay for having an in with literally anyone you could think of.
>Over the course of the next couple years, you developed a strange attachment to the hyperactive dervish of sunshine.
>Party planning became second nature to you due to osmosis.
>When the punch was running out, you had the backup cooler prepped.
>When a streamer emergency cropped up, you had the hookup out the back door of the party supply store.
>You and Pinkie were a team.
>She had the vision and you had your feet planted firmly in the ground, knowing what it took to make that vision a reality.
>Everybody knew you, associated you with the premiere party planner, gave you the nod and the smile before congratulating Pinkie on another great time.
>As everybody got older, and their tastes 'matured', you took on some aspects of the planning that Pinkie was a little leery of.
>Libations a little lacking?
>Anon's got a bottle of the good stuff.
>It's 4:20! Where da smoke at?!
>Anon's got that sweet kush, brah.
>Hell, you even had some plan b pills stashed away somewhere.
>It wasn't an ideal situation, of course.
>Pinkie was glad she didn't have to deal with all that stuff directly, but it still stung a little that her old games weren't enough to make her friends smile anymore.
>She wasn't exactly a prude.
>For her, she was surprisingly discreet, but you shared so much already it was only a matter of time before she started gushing about this or that recent foray into the lands of coitus.
>No, the thing that she really frowned on was the 'party favors'.
>She was merely tolerant of some, and absolute death on the harder stuff.
 
>You figured it was a philosophical decision, and didn't really disagree with her.
>These were your friends, and you didn't exactly relish the idea that something you gave them could land them in rehab or the hospital.
>Or worse.
>As it turned out, though, Pinkie's reasons were a bit more poignant than that.
>In the beginning of your senior year, you finally found them out.
 
 
>"Hey, Anon! Guess what?"
>Your eyes slowly opened.
>They took in the usual and familiar surroundings of your bedroom.
>Messily organized.
>Everything exactly where you want it, even if it might not look that way to an outside observer.
>Even Pinkie sitting cross-legged on your bed and beaming at you expectantly wasn't really out of place.
>She did this.
>It was a fact of life.
>You'd grown used to it to the point it didn't even surprise you anymore.
>Whether that was a healthy adaptation or not was questionable, but, meh.
"Is it early enough that I should be annoyed at what time it is?"
>Pinkie tapped her chin in thought.
>"Well, I don't think so. It's Saturday, so if it were a weekday you'd be up already and you never mentioned wanting to sleep in today and I just got the bestest news and I couldn't wait to share it with you!"
>Ah, classic Pinkie motormouth.
>Again, was it strange to find that excited babble as soothing as gentle wind chimes?
>Maybe.
>You levered yourself up on your elbows before scooting back to rest yourself against the backboard,
arranging your legs similarly to Pinkie under your covers and gesturing for her to continue.
"Well, spit it out, Pinks. What's got you so suped up today? Did you drink coffee again? You know you can't have coffee and be within 50 yards of me."
>Pinkie giggled, rolling her eyes before cupping her chin in her palm and giving me a sly look.
>"Come on, Nonny. I promised. No means no. I get it."
>Slapping her hands down on her thighs, her usual beaming smile returned, and I braced myself for whatever momentous news was incoming.
 
>"My sister's coming for a visit!"
>Huh.
>Okay.
>Pinkie had a few sisters. You knew this. You'd met them. They were... Interesting.
"That's cool. Which one?"
>Maud was cool, if you liked rocks. She was also easy to get along with if you were indifferent since she didn't really say that much.
>Marble was actually harder to deal with, kind of because she didn't say ANYTHING, and jerked back like you were going to stab her if you payed any attention to her.
>And then there was...
>"Limestone! And you know what's even cooler?"
>But Pinkie didn't sound like it was cooler.
>Pinkie sounded like what she was going to say next made her slightly nervous. There might have even been a trace of unhappiness in her tone.
>This was the equivalent of a normal person soiling themselves and running off screaming into the night.
>"She's, um, she's going to be staying with me for a little while! Well, staying with the Cakes. Did you know they have ANOTHER guest bedroom in their house? I mean, come on! How do they fit it all in? They've got a bakery, their room, my room, the twins' room, and now there's another room? Well, technically it's Mr. Cake's rec room, in the basement, but he doesn't mind! Honest!"
>You shook your head at the ever-suffering nature of Mr. Cake's life while you contemplated all this.
>Limestone Pie was coming to Canterlot.
>How would the angriest person you'd ever met fit into the social dynamic around here?
>You had a sinking feeling she just plain wouldn't.
>Thinking back, you couldn't help but recall a particularly uncomfortable encounter with her.
>Actually, it was your last encounter with her.
>The last time she'd visited Pinkie, about a year ago.
>"Hey! I'm talking to you, Anon! No flashbacks!"
>But the flashback was coming. Pinkie's protests couldn't stop it. Nothing could stop it.
 
"So, um... Cool party, right?"
>You leveled a hopeful glance at the honorary figure of this particular bash, who was sitting next to you on the couch.
>Not that she particularly wanted to sit next to you.
>You just had the distinction of being someone she'd actually met before, and thus slightly more tolerable than the rest of the teeming masses.
>"Can't beat another occasion for my sis to show everybody how FUN she is."
>Limestone might be described as a grumbler.
>She was grumbling right now.
>Definitely grumbling, and definitely an improvement over actively shouting.
>Like she had been fifteen minutes ago when a wet ball from the beer pong game had taken a funky bounce and smacked into her forehead.
>You sighed, hoping you could find a cheap one before the next party.
>Like most things, it hadn't survived Limestone's wrath.
>In a weird way you got it, watching Limestone flick her hair testily and take a sip from her solo cup.
>Her eyes followed Pinkie as her sister zoomed around the room, a comment and a touch here and there making everyone feel wanted and welcome.
>Limestone got the same treatment, Pinkie flopping onto the couch from time to time to make sure she was having a good time.
>She'd shoot you an appreciative glance or a pat on the shoulder before shooting off again like a rocket.
>You weren't exactly babysitting.
>Limestone was less than a year younger than you. It's not like she needed one.
>But Pinkie had asked you to keep her company.
>She knew Limestone would just as likely slip out of her own party if she didn't have someone to occupy her, and she trusted you to keep her out of trouble.
>She had a knack for trouble, or at least you'd formed that opinion through various hints her siblings had dropped on occasion.
>The problem was... You weren't Pinkie.
>Through all the grumbling you could tell that Limestone really loved Pinkie, and looked up to her in some way.
>Maybe because she'd gotten off the farm so young and was so independent.
 
>Or maybe it was the way she seemed to make friends so easily.
>Whatever the case, Limestone watched her sister manage the party-goers grumpily, sipping on her drink and in your mind at least wishing Pinkie and her were the only people in the room.
>Okay, maybe she'd let you stay.
>She seemed to tolerate you, or at least acknowledge you weren't going anywhere.
>"Hey, Anon, you got anything with a bit more oomph? This punch is delicious, but it lacks a certain something."
>You looked up to see Flash and Norman grinning down at you.
>They both flicked a glance to Limestone which she ignored.
>Norman even went so far as to shoot her a couple finger guns.
>You could see the plastic cup tremble in her grip as she fought not to crush it.
>Ooookay, time to separate these volatile elements.
"Yeah, sure. Come into my parlor, guys."
>Standing up, you motioned for them to follow you and walked into the kitchen.
>Your bag was on the counter, right in plain sight, the necks of a few bottles poking out through the open zipper.
>Thankfully, people respected you enough not to bite the hand that fed them, so you didn't have to go through all kinds of hoops and hide your stash.
"What's your poison, gentleman?"
>This was honestly a moot question.
>You knew exactly what they'd want, and already had a pint of vodka and brandy in hand when you turned back to them to take their money.
>"Nice doing business with you, Anon. Time to liven this party up a bit!"
>Flash's happy grin was mirrored by Norman's, and they topped off their cups and slipped bottles away before sauntering back into the living room.
>Couple of chuckle heads, you swore, but they weren't so bad.
>You'd seen worse examples of the 'popular' crowd.
>As you checked your stocks to make sure you'd have enough to keep the rabid hordes satisfied, you felt a tap on your shoulder.
>Turning around, you saw none other than Limestone standing behind you, hand on hip and an appraising look in her eye.
 
>"Huh. So you're where the REAL party's at, eh Anon?"
>Umm...
>"It's my party, right?"
>She moved closer to you, so close in fact that you were almost touching chest to chest.
>Her arm snaked around behind you and snagged a bottle from the open bag, bringing it out to the side to scrutinize it before turning back to you and grinning.
>It was devious, and predatory, but most of all it was sincere.
>You weren't sure if you'd ever seen Limestone really smile before.
>"That means I can do what I want to, right?"
>You gulped.
>This was getting kind of intense, right?
>Limestone set the bottle down on the counter with a sharp clink.
>"I think I might have actually found something I want to do. Isn't that funny, Anon?"
>Umm. Um um um.
>Anon.exe has stopped responding. Would you like to close the program?
>Suddenly you felt Limestone's hands under your armpits, and with astonishingly little effort she lifted you up and plopped your butt down on the counter.
>"Stay right there, Anon."
>Well, okay, then.
>You were still kind of dazed by the whole 'practically grinding' thing.
>Especially the way Limestone's arm's had jumped into definition when she lifted you.
>Jesus, she might be stronger than Maud, and that was saying something.
>Not that you were trying to check out your best friend's sister or anything, but it wasn't hard to tell that Limestone was a hard body.
>She definitely had rock-crushing thighs and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of.
>I mean, seriously, not checking her out.
>But that outfit was definitely flattering.
>Just saying.
"Not that I mind sitting up here surveying my domain, but do you need something?"
>Limestone pulled her head out of a cupboard and nodded.
>"Glasses, duh. I'm not gonna drink out of a plastic cup like fucking trailer trash."
>You decided not to point out that she had been until just recently.
"Two down, rocks glasses on the top shelf."
>She tipped me a finger, the grin returning to her face.
 
>Equipped with two glasses and a surprising amount of swagger, Limestone came back and hopped up onto the counter next to you.
>She set the glasses down, picked up the bottle of scotch she'd pulled out and with a flick of her thumb, spun the cap off the previously opened bottle.
>Of course she'd picked your favorite.
>"We won't need that." She said with a smirk before giving both glasses a generous pour.
>Well, if she wasn't just putting on a show to impress you, this was going to get expensive.
>You didn't drink cheap.
>"So, here's the deal, Anon. You're sitting on me anyway so Pinkie doesn't feel bad, so we're gonna drink together tonight."
>You accepted the glass she handed you and swirled it absently.
"You know she threw this party for you, right? So you could meet some of her friends and have fun?"
>Limestone gave you a sour expression, then turned her eyes to the ceiling.
>"I've got enough friends. I don't need hers, too. I'd never see them, anyway."
>You nodded slowly. That was actually and understandable position to take.
>"Now, you, on the other hand... I feel like it's a good idea if I get to know you."
>She held out her drink to you, and you met it with your own, the sharp clink ringing through the kitchen.
"Cheers. Why do you say that, though?"
>You took a sip on your drink, rolling the booze over your tongue in appreciation as you waited for her to finish her own much larger pull.
>"Well, hell, you're practically joined to Pinkie at the hip. You're all she ever talks about besides parties and that little gaggle of friends she has."
>You shrugged, accepting that.
>It was true enough. You couldn't really picture your life without Pinkie in it.
>"So, I figured I better start thinking of you more like family. You're practically married already."
>You blinked at her slowly.
>Thought about it.
>Mulled it over for a few seconds just to be sure.
>Then you burst out laughing.
>Limestone jerked back, looking at you like you'd grown a second head.
 
"Oh! Oh my god, you... You think..."
>You couldn't even get the words out. This was rich.
>"What's so funny, asshole? Aren't you dating my sister?"
>She was glowering at you. It might be scary if you weren't still trying to catch your breath.
>Wiping your eyes, you took another drink to steady yourself before turning to her with a grin.
"I just... You can't even begin to understand how funny that is to me. No, we're not dating. Pinkie does her own thing in that department."
>You held up your hand as she started to say something, and she settled back slowly and took another pull.
"Don't think it hasn't occurred to us. We thought about it. For all of like, twelve seconds."
>She cocked her head at you, pointing the hand with her glass at you accusingly.
>"Well, why the hell wouldn't you be dating? There something wrong with my sister?"
>You shook your head, giving her as much of a glare as I dared right back.
"I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth. Your sister's one of my favorite people on the planet."
>She seemed a little bit reassured by this, relaxing back and taking another sip, and you noted she'd already almost finished her glass.
>Reaching over her carefully, you snagged the bottle and wiggled it at her, lifting an eyebrow.
>She nodded and held her glass out, a hint of a blush tinting her cheeks.
>You idly wondered what that was about, but put it down to the booze already coming to her head as you topped her up and set the bottle down again.
"As for all... 'That', well... I dunno. We just don't feel it, I guess. No spark. No chemistry. Whatever you want to call it."
>You looked up at the ceiling and smiled, remembering one of Pinkie's choice phrases.
"As Pinkie put it once, she sees me and wants to pall around. She doesn't wonder what I'm packing or if I'm an accomplished seaman that can sail the ocean and conquer the briny deeps. Yar."
>You let out another bark of laughter, while Limestone looked decidedly uncomfortable.
 
"Not that she doesn't know what I'm packing. That girl has NO sense of personal space.
>Now Limestone looks really uncomfortable. You decide to go in for the kill.
"Oh, come on, now. You can't tell me Pinkie hasn't intruded on you in a private moment."
>You saw her cheeks burst into flames and knew you'd made a solid hit.
>"She walked in on me when I was taking a core sample... Wait, god, why am I telling you this!"
>You shrugged, taking another sip of your scotch as Limestone returned to her factory setting of fuming at you.
"I dunno. This is what people do when they drink together, right? Tell each other embarrassing things to get to know each other better? Starting to rethink things now that you know I'm not gonna be your brother in law?"
>She looked at you.
>It wasn't a mad look.
>You weren't sure what kind of look it was.
>"No..." She said slowly. "Might as well go through with it. Just cause you're not gonna marry my sister doesn't mean you're not gonna stick around, right?"
>You gave her a grin, hold your glass out to her and she clinks it again.
"You got it. We'll probably end up founding some party related company together and taking over the world. She's the only one I trust not to double-cross me, so I guess I'll have to keep her around."
>Grinning at Limestone, you effected a put-upon look.
"Poor me, eh?"
>Limestone rolled her eyes, shoving you surprisingly gently in the shoulder and chuckling.
>"You're pretty fucking weird, aren't you, Anon?"
>You nodded solemnly, taking a sip of scotch and contemplating the glass.
"I guess so. I mean, you have to be to keep up with Pinkie, right?"
>Limestone sighed, causing you to glance up at her and see her troubled look.
>"Yeah, maybe I'm just not weird enough."
>Making a quick decision, you leaned in toward her until your shoulders touched, causing her to look over at you sharply.
"Hey, Pinkie doesn't leave anyone behind."
>You gave her your best reassuring grin.
 
"This party might have been a mistake, or at least not what you wanted, but you've got the whole week to hang out. I'll even run interference for you if you want, keep Pinkie's pack off your scent."
>Limestone seemed to tense up for a moment, to the point you could swear her shoulder was as hard as a boulder, but eventually she relaxed.
>She even leaned a bit of weight into you.
>"Maybe I'll take you up on that. Those girls can be a bit of a handful."
>You snorted, throwing an arm out and just barely avoiding tossing scotch all over the kitchen floor.
>Huh, were you drunk already?
>That was fast. Anyway...
"You're telling me? You get them on occasion. I have to deal with them ALL THE TIME. Enough to make a saint curse, I swear."
>Limestone snaked an arm around my lower back and pulled me into a tight side hug.
>"Aw, and you're willing to throw yourself on that grenade for me? I'm touched, Anon. Really."
>You fought not to squirm in her grasp.
>This was getting awfully chummy all of a sudden. Maybe..?
>Deciding to go for broke, you threw an arm around her shoulders.
>Amazingly, you didn't become a bleeding heap on the floor.
>Can you believe she actually turned into you a bit?
>I mean, you WERE a bit drunk at this point, but you're pretty sure you recall this happening.
>"Well, Anon, if we're gonna finish this bottle in any reasonable amount of time, we need to figure out something to toast or something. Any ideas?"
>You racked your brain for something clever, but the same old clichéd shit kept bubbling up.
"Uh, how about new beginnings? I know, I know, corny."
>Limestone didn't seem to mind, though.
>Her glass wobbled over to touch yours lightly.
>"Naw. It fits. It fits. It's good, I like it. New beginnings."
>And so it went. The two of you descended into your cups with an almost spiteful glee.
>There were some concerns.
 
>Limestone got more and more frustrated as your giddy conversation kept getting interrupted by people looking for party favors.
>You were also a little concerned by some of the stories she told you about the people she hung out with back home.
>They sounded like they were a step beyond the usual crowd of high school hooligans.
>Beyond that, things were going swimmingly.
>So well, in fact, that you were getting slightly nervous about it.
>The two of you were seriously hitting it off, and that was great and all, but also horrendously complicated.
>Once you'd gotten past the chip on her shoulder, Limestone was really starting to grow on you.
>You felt reasonably certain the feeling was mutual by the way she was slowly huddling into you like a hypothermic snuggling a radiator.
>So... What did you tell Pinkie?
>If this was for real and not just the alcohol.
>Shit, even if this WAS just the alcohol.
'Oh, yeah, I got your sister plastered and we made out for a while. That's cool, right Pinks?'
>Yeah, that would work.
>Wait, where'd the making out part come from?
>Perhaps it was because Limestone's face was suddenly... Well, it might not be suddenly, you'd kind of been spacing out for a bit. Anyway...
>SUDDENLY right in front of yours, with a very not angry expression on her face?
"Uh, sorry, what... Um, hi?"
>Limestone chuckled, heat flashing in her eyes.
>"You're cute when you're confused, you know that?"
>And then she was kissing you, and you decided the only polite thing to do was reciprocate.
>So, that lasted awhile.
>It was pretty nice.
>I mean, you're sure it was awesome at the time, but this is the point where your recollection starts to get a little hazy, so who knows?
>Anyway, eventually Limestone moved away from you, slipping off the counter and wobbling around to face you.
>She was by far the more intoxicated of you two.
 
>You were reasonably sure of this, anyway. You could still walk halfway decent.
>Probably.
>"Shtay... STAY. Stay right there, Anon. I gotta go to the little girl's room, then maybe we can take this party on the road? Or maybe the stairs? Like, you know, go upstairs. Yeah. Nailed it."
>You nodded, trying to keep from chuckling when she did an exaggerated fist pump as she turned away.
>She knew where the bathroom was, right?
>I mean, someone would definitely help her find it, right?
>Maybe you should have helped her find the bathroom.
>It must have been pretty late.
>No one'd been in to hit you up for something for a while.
>Or, maybe they were giving you two some privacy?
>Maybe that was it.
>But if Pinkie knew what was going on, shouldn't she have been hanging your intestines from the drapes right now?
>Unless...
>Unless this was her plan all along!
>She WANTED you to get her sister drunk and make out with her!
>No, wait, that wasn't scanning right.
>There was a flaw in that logic somewhere.
>But it was so easy to just let that be reality. Reality could suck butts most days.
>Good reality where Pinkie set you up with her really cute sister was fuckin' tops.
>Bad reality would have to wait to catch up with you later.
>Probably in the morning.
>With a hangover.
>And maybe a claw-hammer, if good reality was lying to you and Pinkie wasn't the cool kind of evil genius reality manipulator.
>Your thoughts were interrupted by Limestone, stumbling into the kitchen and looking around herself blearily.
>She wiped the side of her mouth with the back of a fist before catching sight of you, sitting exactly where she'd left you.
>Her eyes lit up, and she took a few steps toward you before an expression of horror filled her face.
>'Legs! Why do you betray me!' her expression cried out as she stumbled, barely managing to keep from running face first into the counter you were sitting on by catching hold of your thighs.
 
>So, picture this.
>Here Limestone is, hands on your thighs, knees on the floor.
>She blinks, clearing muzzy eyes to realize her head is between your legs.
>Your mind is telling you you should be scared, because she almost did a flying headbutt into your junk.
>But it's also saying 'Look how close she is to your junk, dude!'
>Now, the next thing she said is one of those things you'll never forget.
>It's seared into your brain like someone took a soldering iron and wrote it there in fine cursive.
>She looked up at you and cracked a toothy grin, patting your thigh absently with a hand and said...
>"If I wasn't so drunk right now, I'd totally suck your dick."
>This is the point where you noped right the fuck back to sobriety.
>Sure, you were still drunk.
>But suddenly everything had taken on a terrible sense of reality.
>The sour smell you'd been ignoring since she came back in.
>You knew what she'd been wiping off her mouth, now.
"You just went to the bathroom and puked, didn't you Limestone?"
>She looked up slowly from contemplating your crotch and chuckled.
>"Yeah, you got me. Had to do the old boot and rally. I'll be good to go in a few minutes."
>You sighed. Well, there went any moral ambiguity you could have clung to.
>Reaching down, you pulled her up to her feet slowly.
>She gave you a confused look for a moment, barely keeping her feet as you let go to hop off the counter.
>You felt surprisingly steady as you leaned down and snatched her up into a princess carry.
>"Oh! Oh, well, okay then Anon."
>She wrapped her arms around you while you walked back into the living room.
>It really MUST have been late, because it was deserted.
>Good thing, too.
>You were already struggling a little.
>Limestone was only a little bit shorter than you, and stacked to the ceiling.
>Muscle really did weigh more than fat.
 
>"Where are we off to, Anon? Are those stairs I see?"
>You grunted, mounting the stairs and taking them slowly since Limestone thought it'd be a good idea to squirm around and throw your balance off.
"Yeah, we're going upstairs to my room, Lime."
>She chuckled, a hand going to your chest to stroke it clumsily.
>"Well, you don't waste any time."
>Her hand suddenly covered her mouth, her body doing a strange sort of quiver you could feel through your arms.
'Oh man, please don't. Please please please...'
"You alright, Lime?"
>You had paused at the top of the stairs, not sure if you'd need to take a quick detour to the bathroom, but she reassured you.
>"Nope, all good. False alarm. Full steam ahead."
>Shaking your head, you couldn't keep a chuckle from slipping out.
>The ridiculousness of the situation was getting to you a little bit.
>Backing into your room, you walked over to your bed and set Limestone down.
>She proceeded to sprawl out, sighing contentedly.
>"Beds kick ass. Yusss. Um, can you get my boots? I don't wanna, you know, bend that much."
>You pulled her boots off, setting them next to the bed and looking down.
"Go on, get under the covers. I'm just gonna grab a couple things."
>Water from the mini-fridge in the corner, wastebasket, just-in-case towel.
>You set all this on the nightstand, then reached down and cupped Limestone's cheek, who seemed to be having an inordinate amount of trouble with the comforter.
"Get some rest, Lime. I'll see you tomorrow."
>She pushed her cheek into your hand and murmured happily.
>"Yeah that sounds g... Wait, what!?!"
>You jerked back in surprise as she tried to surge up from the covers but only managed an abortive flop.
"What what? I'm gonna let you sleep here. I'll take the couch downstairs. I'll see you in the morning."
>Limestone glared at you from the tangle of blankets and sheets.
>"The fuck youuuu a-a-a-a-are! You're getting in this fucking bed, Anon. We're gonna fuck around, okay?"
 
>You stare at her, not quite sure what to think.
"Lime... You're puking drunk, you can't walk, and you still want to..."
>She glares right back at you, but you feel like some of the energy's gone out of it.
>"I told you, boot and rally. I'll be... I'll feel better soon and we can have some fun, okay?"
>So. This was unexpected. How to get out of this without making her feel like shit?
"Yeah... I just realized... I'm out of condoms. So, yeah, no go."
>You were grasping at straws. You had so many condoms. There was literally one on your dresser that you hoped she hadn't noticed your eyes flicking to during your boldfaced lie.
>"I'm on the pill, you ass. Nobody likes condoms."
>Shit. There went that excuse. Only, now that you thought about it...
"So, your weird fundamentalist parents got you a birth control prescription? How did that conversation go?"
>Limestone opened her mouth. Then closed it.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. What's your hurry? Shit, you can drag me off the couch in the morning and use me to break all the furniture you want if you still want to."
>You walked over to your dresser and picked up the condom, holding it up for her to see.
"I lied, too. I've got hundreds of these. Gotta keep teen pregnancy down somehow, right? Look, I just don't feel right about this, and wanna make sure you still feel like this in the morning."
'When you're not so fucking wasted you can't win a fight with a blanket.'
>Limestone shook her head, but you could tell she was already winding down. She wasn't exactly going to throw you down on the bed and ravish you.
>She COULD, probably. As long as her coordination didn't desert her again.
>But even shit-can hammered, she wasn't going to do that.
>"It's gotta be... It's gotta be tonight, okay Anon? I didn't think I was gonna get this chance, and I don't wanna waste it."
>Okay, this was a weird tangent you were on, now.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
>Limestone was uncomfortable now. She actually looked a bit pathetic.
 
>"Well, I thought you and my sister were a couple forever, right? And I might have thought you were cute when she brought you home to visit, but I figured I wasn't gonna get a shot..."
>You nodded along, folding your arms over your chest.
"What's the big deal, then? I'll tell you right now, I think you're great, and I'm not seeing anyone. Let's pick this up tomorrow and see where it goes."
>She shook her head, but looked up and smiled at you.
>"Yeah, you're right. I'm just drunk, I guess. Not thinking straight or something. Go on, get out of here. I'll see you tomorrow."
>You always thought that smile was a bit funny.
>It kept you up at nights sometimes.
>Because she'd been right.
>You didn't see her the next morning.
>When you asked Pinkie where she was, she told you Limestone had gone home early.
>It took a while for Pinkie to budge, but eventually she'd admitted that Limestone had been really embarrassed about how she'd acted that night.
>You'd put out some feelers, asked Pinkie to have her call you or give you her number a couple times, but she said she couldn't.
>It had actually put a bit of a strain on your relationship with Pinkie for a while.
>But after a while, you'd put it behind you.
>You couldn't stay mad at your best friend forever, and she hadn't put the boots to you for messing around with her sister in the first place.
>Fast forward to now.
>Pinkie, sitting on your bed, looking at you nervously.
>Brain, recalling past events, examining past emotions.
>"Soooo... Good flashback?" Pinkie asked, tapping her fingers against her thighs.
"Depends, I guess. Since she's coming back, to live with you no less, are you finally going to tell me why I couldn't get a hold of her for almost a year?"
>Pinkie looked down, eventually shaking her head.
"Well then, no, Pinkie. It was a terrible flashback and you can get the fuck out of my room."
>Pinkie looked up at you, crestfallen.
>"It's not like I don't want to tell you, Anon. It's just..."
 
"It's just what? She didn't have a phone for a year?"
>Pinkie glanced away.
>"I shouldn't be the one to tell you, and she couldn't, so that's how it had to be. She's coming here, and you can talk to her then. If she still wants to."
>You gave Pinkie a dark look, surprising yourself with how much this had been eating at you under the surface.
"And if I don't want to talk to her? Do I get a choice? I mean, what the fuck even is this, Pinkie? She hasn't been in jail. You get phone calls in jail."
>Pinkie grimaced, but she still kept her silence, looking at you sadly.
"Well, all right then. I was serious about getting the fuck out of my room, Pinkie. You had a number I could have called, and she could have told me what was going on, right?"
>Pinkie could only nod, and it was starting to make your blood boil.
>Seems stuffing all that anger down had just kept it smoldering, and a little air was stoking it back to a bonfire.
"Seriously, Pinkie, get out of my house. Get up right now and walk out my door or I... I don't even know. You understand, Pinks? I don't know what I'm gonna do if I have to keep looking at you right now."
>Nodding slowly, she laboriously slid off your bed and walked to your door.
>She turned back to you, and you could see she was crying. You seriously didn't care at the moment. She knew what she needed to do to fix this, but she couldn't, or maybe just wouldn't.
>"Nonny... I'll try to get her to talk to you, okay? Please just give her a chance. It's so, so complicated and... She didn't mean to hurt you, you know?"
>You just stared at her.
"Well, she really fucking did, Pinks. But I think you hurt me more. I barely know her, but I have to see you every day and know you could fix this for me. You probably Pinkie promised someone not to tell me, but I'M telling you right now this isn't gonna be the last time NOT breaking a promise is the fastest way to lose a friend."
 
>Pinkie's hand froze on the doorknob to your room.
>"... That's not fair, Anon."
>You could barely make out her voice, it was so quiet.
>It wasn't fair, huh?
"Is it fair to me, Pinks? Nothing about this has been fair, so I guess I'm just joining the club, right?"
>Pinkie turned back to you, tears streaming down her face, but she was angry now too.
>"Why do you even care so much you... You big meanie! You said it yourself! You barely even know Limestone! Why is this so important to you? Why is it more important than ME?"
>That was it. You couldn't take this sitting down anymore.
>You threw the covers back and jumped off your bed, stalking over to Pinkie and glaring down at her. It was enough to set her back a pace, bumping into the still closed door behind her.
"Because, Pinkie, I don't know if it's my fault. No one will tell me if I did something wrong when I feel like I did everything right. But it must be my fault, right?"
>You could barely get the words out around your gritted teeth, but finally saying it felt good. It felt so, so good.
"I did something wrong and she left without saying anything. She hates me and doesn't want to talk to me. That's fine. I can deal with that. What I CAN'T deal with is knowing you know, and knowing every day I hoped you'd decide to say something, and every day you let me down."
>You rested both palms against the door on either side of Pinkie's head, your own head sagging. You were spent.
"You let me down, Pinks. You kept something from me that's still hurting me as we speak. If you can do that about this... Who knows what else you're not telling me? You know, it's actually kind of funny."
>Pinkie seemed to be at the end of her rope, and a huge sob burst forth from her.
>"How?! How could this be funny? I don't understand any of this. I just want it to be over! OVER!"
 
 
"When I was talking to Limestone that night, I told her you were the only one I knew would never stab me in the back. Guess I'm not a very good judge of character, huh?"
>The words slipped from your lips quietly, but they settled on Pinkie's shoulders like so many boulders crushing her to the floor.
>She slid slowly down the door at her back, her legs no longer able to support the weight, and you watched her.
>You slowly settled back onto your heels in front of her, saw her hands creep up to cover her face, the tears running through her fingers.
>It didn't make you angry.
>It didn't make you sad.
>It didn't make you want to reach out and hold her, and make this all go away.
>It just made you tired.
>You were so tired of all this.
>Months of holding back what you really wanted to say... Now that all that pressure that had built up inside of you was gone, you just felt...
>Empty.
>Deflated, like there wasn't enough inside your stretched and bloated exterior to fill it out anymore.
>You'd set out to hurt Pinkie, hurt her as much as she'd been hurting you, and you thought you'd succeeded.
>Like she'd said, you weren't being fair.
>But life wasn't fair.
>You supposed you'd be just another object lesson from here on out.
>This wasn't getting fixed.
>It had broken almost a year ago, and it'd just taken this long to finally fall apart.
>Limestone...
>This was just another thing she had to answer for, you supposed.
>Now wasn't the time to think about that, though.
>Trying to decide whether you liked her or hated her, wanted to talk to her or never wanted to see her again...
>It was too hard to think about anything, let alone that.
>But she was in there, in your head again, right at the front of your stroked out brain.
>Pinkie sobbing on the floor in front of you, and you still had her sister on your mind.
>...
>You needed to get out of here.
>Just... Be somewhere else.
 
>Reaching up, you turned your doorknob.
>The door swung open, dumping Pinkie onto the floor behind her.
>It had been the only thing holding her up.
>Without a word you straightened up and stepped over her.
>Down the stairs, through the door, into your car, keys in the ignition.
>No, keys in the bowl next to your front door.
>Frustrating.
>You stalked back into your house and snatched them from the bowl, along with your wallet.
>Putting your wallet in your back pocket brought to your attention the fact that you didn't have one.
>Pants were all in your room.
>With Pinkie.
>Yeah. Fuck pants.
>You slipped on your sneakers next to the door, because driving barefoot sucked and they were right there anyway.
>Sweaty feet from no socks would suck too, but be bearable.
>Back out the door, into your car, keys in the ignition.
>Out the driveway, down the block, stop at the sign.
>You sat at the stop sign for a long time, watching cars go by from right to left, left to right.
>Couldn't pick a direction, let alone go forward.
>Your absence of thoughts was interrupted by someone laying on the horn behind you.
>Rolling your window down, you waved them past you.
>They kept beeping.
>Car in park, open door, stand in road and glare at car behind you.
>They went around you, wide eyed and fumbling with their phone.
>Didn't you go to school with them?
>She was probably calling the cops.
>You could imagine how talking to cops right now would go.
>Back in the car, turn left, drive until you get hungry.
>You drove long enough that you had to get gas, then turned around and headed home.
>Nothing was accomplished, but you could think about things more complicated than 'gas fast, brake slow'.
>You had a lot of messages when you came home, and your parents seemed concerned.
>It wasn't time to deal with any of that yet.
>You told them you weren't taking visitors and went upstairs.
>Sat on your bed and wondered if you'd feel like a real person again tomorrow.
 
>You didn't remember much of Sunday.
>Turned off your phone, sat in front of your TV.
>Watched something. A lot of the same something.
>At one point someone threw a rock at your house.
>You got up and looked outside your window and Rainbow Dash was standing on the sidewalk.
>She looked pissed. Really pissed. She had more rocks.
>You closed the blinds.
>Surprisingly, she didn't throw a rock through your window.
>Impulse control was not that girl's strong suit.
>You contemplated skipping school tomorrow.
>There was no point.
>You couldn't hide forever.
>Pinkie's friends were going to come down on you like an avalanche for breaking her.
>Never mind that you were just as broken.
>So, you got a little blubbery at that point.
>Not going into it.
>You were coming to grips with things, now.
>Things you hadn't wanted to admit to yourself before.
>The kind of stuff that turned your brain off and made you drive for sixteen hours with nowhere to go.
>You were kind of lost without direction.
>Ambition wasn't exactly your strong suit.
>You'd hitched your wagon to Pinkie, kind of making your goal to make her goals come true.
>Now you couldn't even look at her.
>So, what plans you had for your life, if plans were a word you could use...
>Weeeell...
"Shit. I don't even care."
>Ambivalence was your only option right now.
>You couldn't think about it.
>It was crushing you down to your basest functionality.
>You lost the game, and you didn't know how to try again.
>Tomorrow was going to be a bad day.
 
>They didn't even try to be subtle.
>You walked into your first class in the morning, and they were literally circling the door.
>Applejack slid in behind you to close the gap, and the friendship brigade had you well and truly cornered.
>"You're coming with us, Anon."
>Sunset Shimmer, their unofficial spokesperson, didn't sound like she was going to take any shit from you.
>She was in bad-girl mode.
>Ooh, scary.
"Take a flying leap into a dumpster fire."
 
>Sunset took a moment to absorb this.
>"I'm just warning you right now, Anon. It's my way or Rainbow's way."
>You glanced to her right, and of course Rainbow was scowling at you, cracking her knuckles.
>For a second you contemplated just decking her.
>Just hauling off and punching her in her stupid face.
>This wasn't her business.
>Wasn't any of their businesses.
>This was between you and Pinkie.
>But you had just noticed Pinkie wasn't here.
"Does Pinks know you're doing this?"
>Those that you could see looked uncomfortable.
>Except for Dash.
>She still looked pissed and perfectly punchable.
>"She didn't come to school today. She doesn't want to see you."
>Fluttershy. Speaking up. Not like you needed to be told.
"Well, I don't want to see her either. I guess I'll just move or something."
>Well, that WAS an option. You didn't really have any close connections besides Pinkie.
>Plenty of friends, because of Pinkie, but no other friends LIKE Pinkie.
>Jesus, you really had just made her your whole world.
>"Darling, you're being nothing more than a petulant child about this."
>Ugh. Rarity. You turned to the fashionista.
>Being surrounded and bombarded from all sides was already getting old.
"Don't call me a child you pampered little baby. Not everyone gets horse magic to solve all their problems for them."
>A thought occurred to you, and you almost laughed out loud before turning back to Sunset.
"Is that what this is? Are you gonna zap me with your lasers and make me realize the error of my ways?"
>You leaned in toward her, and the expression on your face must have been pretty impressive, because she backed up a step.
"Try Pinkie, first. If anyone needs a dose of friendship magic right now, it's her."
>And because you couldn't give less of a shit at the moment, you bulled your way between Sunset and Rainbow through the gap the former had made in the circle.
>Disappointingly, Rainbow didn't try to stop you.
 
 
>"Y'all are makin' a mistake, throwin' Pinkie away like this."
>You paused on the way to your desk and looked back at Applejack, her hands on her hips and a disappointed look on her face.
>It was so ridiculous. All of this was.
"It's my life, cowgirl. I can throw it away if I want to."
>God, that was pretty emo.
>Sitting down at your desk, you stared at the gaggle of girls silently.
>At the bell for first period, they silently trooped off.
>Except Twilight. She was in this class. Damn it.
>She was probably going to try to get her two cents in.
>Taking her desk right next to you, because OF COURSE she sat next to you in this class, she glanced at you.
"Is this gonna be my whole day?"
>She looked a bit startled.
>"What... Do you mean, Anon?"
>You growled, throwing an arm out to gesture toward the door.
"Am I going to get visited by the spirits of friendship past, present and future? And whatever the other three decide to be. Are you all going to take me on a spiritual journey on the road my actions are taking me down? Shove. It."
>Twilight shook her head. She didn't seem too impressed by my little speech.
>"Anon, I hope you don't take too much offense at this, but I don't really care about you that much. I care about Pinkie, and I'll try to fix the problem between you two for her sake. I hope it doesn't come as a surprise to you that nearly everyone feels the same way."
>You couldn't help but laugh.
"Of course it's not a surprise. That's how I wanted it. Being Pinkie's friend made my life easy because people liked me through extension."
>Twilight absorbed this, nodding slowly.
>"But now Pinkie hates you, or at least that's the general perception. That won't make your life easy. Not easy at all."
>You shrugged, looking away from her.
"So I'll move, like I said. Or maybe I'll transfer to Crystal to finish out my senior year."
>She was silent for a moment.
 
>"Would that really be easier than making up with Pinkie? Is that really the path of least resistance you seem to be so fond of?"
>You grimaced, glad you weren't facing her so she couldn't see your expression.
>Moving away wouldn't hurt.
>Transferring to Crystal Prep wouldn't force you to examine yourself, give Pinkie the benefit of the doubt, or see Limestone again.
>Because if you were going to forgive Pinkie, it would mean confronting Limestone about where she'd been and why Pinkie helped her hide.
>You weren't sure what would be worse.
>Pinkie wouldn't do that to you without a damn good reason.
>You could at least admit that to yourself.
"... I don't know."
>You turned back to Twilight to see her regarding you with a commiserating air.
>"Think about it, please? It's pretty important."
>She held your gaze as the classroom filled up and the education system ground into motion for another day.
>The rest of the girls mostly left you alone for the rest of the day
>Which was actually pretty weird, since you usually interacted with all of them a lot on a given day.
>You even took your usual seat at lunch, basically on autopilot, and realized you'd sat down across from Fluttershy, the empty space to your left like a gaping wound past which you regarded Rarity.
>Fuck, you were some kind of dumb shit.
>You got up without saying a word.
>Suddenly you weren't so hungry.
>Dumping your tray into a garbage can, you walked outside, crossed the road in front of school and lit a cigarette.
>You didn't smoke very often, but this could be considered a stressful time, and they calmed you down.
>A couple people crossed the street soon after, the spot you'd picked not very inconspicuous.
>Not like you were the only smoker at school, either, and it wasn't kosher on school grounds.
>Lyra was edging slowly closer to you, her frowning paramour shadowing her.
>Oh boy.
>"Heeeeey! Anon, how's it goin'? You, uh, you good, my man?"
 
>You rolled your eyes. At least she was talking to you. You'd been getting a bit of the cold shoulder from most of your fellow student.
>That's what you get when you leave the most well-liked girl in school a puddle of tears on the floor, you supposed.
"Lyra, do you want something?"
>She probably just wanted to pick up. Lyra smoked A LOT of weed.
>Or she might be inquiring about her standing order for adrenochrome.
>Ever since she'd seen Fear and Loathing she'd been captivated by the idea.
>You'd jokingly said you'd pick some up for her if it ever came around.
>MISTAKE.
>"Oh, uh, no man. I just, you know, heard the bad news about Pinkie? Wanted to see how you were doing?"
>You raised an eyebrow at Bon-Bon, but the taciturn girl just shrugged.
"Shit happens. I'm still working through it, I guess."
>Lyra nodded emphatically, snatching up your free hand in both of hers and clutching it.
>"Yeah, man. Yeah. Life is strange. You gotta just, roll with the punches. Plenty of fish. Uh, in the sea. The saying. Not the app. You could like, use that too, I guess. But, like, not the end of the world, right?"
>You were used to Lyra's rambling, but this was a little strange, even for her.
"Lyra, what are you talking about?"
>She tilted her head in that peculiar Lyra way, and Bon-Bon suddenly seemed far more interested in the conversation.
>The confectioner might be a bit dour at times, but she loved a bit of gossip.
>"Um, like, Pinkie's all broken up about you two breaking up? You guys were like, totally inseparable, so I figured... You might need a shoulder, right?"
>No.
>No, that was NOT right.
"Pinkie and I weren't dating. We've never dated. We had a falling out, yeah, but it wasn't romantic."
>Lyra gaped at you, and even Bon-Bon seemed a bit shocked.
 
>Shocked enough to actually speak up.
>"Pinkie and you weren't dating? I thought you were, too."
>You scratched your head. What was this, now?
"Pinkie... You know what Pinkie's like. I wasn't exactly a prude either. Did you figure we just slept around on each other all the time?"
>The two girls exchanged a glance and shrug before Lyra turned back to me.
>"We just, figured you had one of those like, open relationship dealies? We all did."
>'We all did'? Oh fucking hell, what was that supposed to mean?
>You had a sinking feeling you knew, though. Your cigarette fell from nerveless fingers.
"Exactly... Exactly how prevalent was this theory of yours?"
>Another exchange of glances, and Bon-Bon was the one to give the unit a voice this time.
>"Everybody? People aren't... Close like you two were without smashing getting in the mix."
>You rubbed your forehead. How? This didn't make any sense.
"So, the girls I hooked up with thought I was cheating on Pinkie with them, and the guys thought they were cucking me?"
>Your mind was spinning. Were you even more of a laughingstock than you'd assumed? Were you some kind of dirty game to the girls of CHS?
>The butt of all the locker room jokes, suddenly cut off when you came in, receiver of a thousand knowing smirks behind your back?
>"But, like, open relationship and stuff, right? It like, doesn't count like that. And junk."
>This just got better and better. And the best part, the absolute capper...
"And now people think I broke up with Pinkie, who I was never dating in the first place, over her SISTER?"
>Lyra stared at you.
>Bon-Bon stared at you.
>Several other people around you that had been surreptitiously listening stumbled, swallowed smoke or did spit-takes.
>Wait, you'd made a mistake here somewhere.
>Somewhere off in the distance, music began to play...
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOpqCgs3Ez4 [Embed]
 
>"Well, NOW they do."
>Not helpful, Bob-Bon.
>Jesus, you were some kind of moron.
 
>But you had to admit, at least to yourself...
>It was true, in a certain twisted sense.
>Maybe... Maybe you shouldn't be here right now.
>You had a strong urge to run away screaming.
>Or maybe axe-murder everyone within hearing distance of you.
>You might spare Lyra, but Bon-Bon couldn't be trusted.
>No, Lyra would have to go, too. You didn't want her free to plot her revenge.
>Shaking the pleasant fantasy out of your head, you turned a hopeful gaze on the two.
"I don't suppose you could help me round up everyone out here and lock them in a storage unit for about a week? I can... I can fix this or get far enough away in a week."
>Lyra giggled while Bon-Bon just smirked.
>Damn you Bon-Bon...
>"I feel for you, Anon, I truly do. But... It's going to be too funny watching you run around like a maniac trying to fix this. You'll survive this trial."
>You grimaced at the deceptively monikered confectioner.
"This is why no one likes you, you evil evil woman."
>Bon-Bon just hiked a thumb at Lyra, her smirk widening.
>"She does. That's good enough for me. You better hurry, Anon. The rats are starting to scurry."
>You weren't too sure about that, from the look Lyra was giving her at the moment.
>It was definitely a 'We are going to have words, woman' look.
>You took some small satisfaction in this while your brain frantically scrabbled for solutions to your situation.
>Your dirty laundry was about to get dumped off the roof of the school during a windstorm.
>There was only one thing you could think of.
>It'd buy you some time, at least. You took a deep breath.
"Anyone repeats what I just said and they're CUT OFF!!!"
>It was like that scene from The Matrix.
>Everyone froze in mid-step.
>The world plunged into silence.
>Oooookay...
 
>"Well. I guess that would work. Jesus Christ, Anon, kingpin of CHS. Good thing I don't get anything from you."
>Okay, that was enough.
"Bon-Bon, if you tell anyone what I said, I'm cutting LYRA off."
>She opened her mouth to retort, but another one clamped over it like a vice.
>Good Lyra. Good girl...
>"Lunch is almost over, so we're gonna go away now and totally not tell anyone anything about what you said. Have a great day, Anon!"
>You watched in satisfied amusement as Lyra overpowered her partner, dragging her backwards across the road and into the school.
>Of course, Bon-Bon didn't fight very hard. She was another one of those girls that could somehow bench press a Volkswagen.
>You'd beaten her on the battlefield of the mind.
>She'd been outmaneuvered, and she knew it.
>Now if only you could use your superior brain to stop being such a fucking moron, you'd be all set.
>But thinking about it just reminded you about what Twilight had said.
>Reminded you of how Pinkie had looked the last time you saw her.
>And of Limesone's smile, nine months and change in the past but still chiseled into your brain.
>Wait...
>Nine months ago.
>Nine months triggered certain associations in your overtaxed cerebrum.
>You put her to bed.
>She was gone in the morning.
>There was no way.
>You would have woken up.
>Unless she DRUGGED you!
>You wracked your memory, but you didn't think you'd felt like you'd been drugged that morning.
>Still...
>It was a theory. A hideous theory that you didn't want to believe, but really the only one you had.
>Reality lurched into focus with the bell, announcing you'd run out of time again, and had to make a decision.
>Your feet carried you back across the road and into school, habit making your mind up for you.
>Before you headed to class, you made your way to a bathroom, locked yourself in a stall, and set your backpack in your lap.
>You needed something to take the edge off.
>How long had it been since you got fucked up at school?
 
>You couldn't even remember.
>The week after all this shit had started was pretty hazy, though.
>Probably then.
>You pulled out a little bottle and shook out a white pill, popping it in your mouth.
>A swig of scotch from your emergency flask washed it down, and you already felt a little more ready for the rest of the day.
>Thankfully you didn't really have an addictive personality.
>You did a lot of product testing.
>This might be a slight weakness of yours.
>Packing everything back up, you slipped out into the hall.
>Pressure was already slacking off.
>Your steps were light, following your course to your next class.
>Forging ahead through the social wilderness.
>Daniel Boone, son.
>Coasting.
>You were coasting through school.
>Through life.
>Easy mode.
>Limestone.
>She was in your head, frozen in time, that smile on her face.
>So wicked, but happy happy happy.
>Your smile.
>'HARD MODE' flashed in neon letters under her.
>Your image of her.
>Had she changed?
>Had life changed her?
>Would she change you?
>She suddenly came to life, punching you in the shoulder lightly.
>"Anon, get it together!"
>She was so forceful.
"Lime, I'm just fine. Trying to decide. I dunno if I want to care enough."
>She wasn't going to be put off that easily.
>Grabbing your shoulder, she shook you roughly.
>"Anon, she's coming over here!"
>Limestone hissed the words out, sounding worried.
>Who was coming?
>Pinkie?
>You felt so baaaad.
>Pinkie was your friend, but you made her feel really bad.
>You'd have to apologize.
>Maybe she'd forgive you.
>"ANON! What are you doing!"
>Uhhh...
>That wasn't Pinkie's voice.
>You snapped back to reality.
>Oops, there went gravity.
>With a squawk, you pitched over backward in your desk, riding it to the floor.
>In considerable pain, you looked up into the mostly furious but slightly concerned face of Cheerilee.
>Aww, shit.
"Umm, fancy meeting you here? I don't know if it's appropriate for us to be in this position though, Ms. Cheerilee."
 
>Yes, mouth, it's your duty to inform the populace that Cheerilee, the creator of many an embarrassing classroom boner, was basically straddling you.
>You should have remembered bars turned your filter off.
>But... She sure had a low cut blouse on today.
>It was hard not to appreciate her sense of style.
>"Anon, what is wrong with you? You were mumbling away while I was trying to conduct class."
>She sighed, drawing back before getting to her feet and extending a hand down to you.
>Taking her hand, she easily pulled you back to your feet.
>"Just because you've already got the credits you need to graduate doesn't give you the right to disrupt other people's educations."
>Oh, yeah.
>You did have all those things.
>Why were you in class again?
>Because Pinkie wasn't ready to graduate yet?
>Graduation, cap and gown, the big walk, getting your diplomas.
>Pomp and circumstance.
"Good point. See you later, Cheerilee."
>You threw your bag over your shoulder and walked toward the door, leaving an upturned desk and an extremely confused teacher behind.
>"... What...? Wait. Wait! Anon, get back here! You're not excused from class!"
>You turned back to her, a little on the wobbly side.
"I'm sorry, I'm feeling a bit ill. As much as your beautiful counten-countenance can sooth most, uh, ills, I think I need to go to the nurses office."
>You turned around again, heading for the door and freedom when suddenly someone driving a desk leaped out in front of you, cutting you off.
>Too late to turn.
>Collision was inevitable.
>People should really learn how to drive, you had clearly had the right of way.
"Beeeeeeeeeep!"
>You laid on the horn as your hip clipped the edge of the vehicle, sending you into a spin.
>Cheerilee's heavy wooden desk eclipsed your vision.
>This was gonna be a bad one.
>Hopefully the other guy had good insurance.
>Pain.
>Stars.
>Blackness.
 
>You are Thunderlane.
>Near the top of the food chain in this Podunk little town.
>A god among athletes, vice captain of the soccer team, football star and holder of the men's 1500 meter dash record.
>I mean, you were pretty cool, you guessed.
>Sitting in class, studiously aware, taking notes like a cool guy.
>Because you were barely making a C in this class and teetering on the edge of academic suspension.
>Balancing school and sports was rough, man, especially when you were so good.
>So it was with a small bit of bitter glee that you noticed Anon, also cool guy but much better at classes and much more suck at sports, was in the process of pulling a detention.
>Glazed eyes, drool out the corner of his mouth, mumbling quietly.
>He was too far away for you to make out what he was on about, but from the uncomfortable wriggling of the kids around him, it must be something juicy.
>Didn't something just go down?
>He was on the outs with Pinkie, right?
>Maybe you should ask her out again.
>Ope, here comes Cheerilee.
>'He's in trouble now.' You couldn't keep a bit of a grin from your lips.
>You were just thinking something about how the mighty had fallen when he literally pitched out of his desk, landing on his back with a wince-inducing thump.
>Did he just go 'Waugh!'?
>Was Anon secretly Charlie Brown?
>Whoa!
>Cheerilee was... Was really getting in there, huh?
>Back on his feet, cool, he's okay.
>You struggled to hear what he was mumbling about, but he was talking pretty quietly, maybe slurring his words.
>Suddenly he was halfway out the classroom.
>Huh, he could move pretty fast.
>"... Nurses office."
>Jesus, was he gargling cotton balls?
>"Beeeeeeeeeep!"
"Holy shit!"
>He just bounced off your desk like a pinball! How was he moving like that?
>*THUMP*
>Oh... Oh, dang. That didn't sound good.
>You jumped up out of your desk and leaned down over him, turning him over.
>Okay, that was... Not bad? Pretty bad.
>At least he wasn't...
>Oh, no, there was the blood.
 
>Suddenly his comment about the nurses office sounded like a pretty good idea.
"I got 'im!"
>Okay, princess carrying another guy was kind of weird, but you didn't want to jostle him around too much.
>He was totally buying you a new shirt, though.
>Yours was VERY red, now.
>Head wounds just bled like crazy.
>He was, probably gonna be fine though.
>You'd seen enough injuries in sports, especially football, to give a quickie diagnosis.
>Impact wound, mild concussion, loss of consciousness.
>Maybe an orbital socket fracture?
>He'd be fiiiiiiine...
>Nurses office incoming.
>Oh yeah, fast as ever Thunderlane!
>You burst through the door, jogging in place, a surprised looking Nurse Redheart catching your eye.
"Patient for you, ma'am! Where should I put him?
>She looked proper shocked.
>You couldn't blame her, really.
>The two of you were probably a sight.
>Head wounds bled a lot.
>"What the hell happened to him, Thunderlane?"
>She gestured to and empty bed.
>Oh, yeah, you should have just done that in the first place.
>You walked over and set him down on the cot, shrugging and stripping off your already ruined tee, pressing it to his head.
>Pressure was good for bleeding, right?
>"Thunderlane! Why are you stripping in my office? Get... Get out of there. I have bandages and gauze, you ninny."
>You backed up obligingly, watching her toss your shirt aside and probe Anon's eyebrow with a cotton wad.
>"So? What happened to him? Did he join the football team all of a sudden?"
>Oh, right, she asked you that already.
"Naw, he just sort of... Bumped into my desk, then fell over and smacked himself a good one against Cheerilee's."
>She tsked, pressing some gauze against the wound.
"He gonna be okay?"
>You were pretty relieved when she nodded.
>"He's going to need a couple stitches unless he wants a pretty epic scar, but he seems fine otherwise."
>She pulled up one of his eyelids and flicked a little flashlight across it, then did the same to his other eye.
 
>You'd seen them do that on TV.
>Coooool...
>"Should be coming around any minute now."
>You hoped so. Anon was decent people.
>Maybe... You'd wait it out a bit before you asked Pinkie out.
>"Owwww..."
 
 
>Yes.
>Yes, this did indeed hurt.
>Well, now you didn't feel like you were drifting through a sea of mist.
>No, you were definitely grounded.
>Grounded in painful, debilitating reality.
>Were you that out of practice?
>You had done an epically bad job of handling your shit.
>Still a little washed out.
>You were in a car accident, right?
"My information's under the visor. Is the other guy okay?"
>Was this what it felt like when the airbag deployed?
>You were a careful driver, you'd never been in an accident.
>Now, wait a minute though...
"Are we in school?"
>You cracked your eyes open, wincing as one of them burst into fresh waves of pain.
>"Yes, you're in school. You fell and hit your head."
>Oh. Suck. Your brain was in... Just terrible shape.
>Things started percolating in your noggin as you blearily picked out nurse Redheart and... Thunderlane?
>Okay, then.
>First, where was your bag?
>There were things in there that you really shouldn't have on school grounds.
>Second... Fuck! Your head fucking hurt!
"Uh, think I could get something for the pain? This is, really not comfortable. Thunderlane, old buddy old pal, think you could grab my bag? I think I have some aspirin in there."
>Redheart gave you a gimlet eye, waving a hand around herself.
>"You're in the nurses office. I have aspirin here. Can you hold this here?"
>She pressed a gauze pad against your face, but it was actually pretty bearable, so you took over the pressure while she moved off to rummage in a drawer.
>You frantically motioned to Thunderlane and he drew closer.
"Dude, get my bag. It's really important that no one on the faculty gets a hold of it, okay?"
>Thunderlane seemed a bit confused for a second, but a twinkle of understanding came, and he gave you a thumbs up and a wink.
 
>He matched your quiet tone, grinning conspiratorially.
>"Yeah, yeah, I get you. You owe me one, Anon."
>Turning to Redheart, Thunderlane showed himself to be a true bro, and suddenly one of your favorite people.
>"I'm gonna go grab his bag, anyway, Ma'am. Won't take me a second."
>He was out the door before Redheart could even protest.
>Not that she bothered.
>Thunderlane wasn't her patient right now, you were.
>You did have to stifle a giggle at the thought of Thunderlane, shirtless and covered in your blood, running down the halls.
>Err, maybe that wasn't all that funny.
>"Here you go. So, you've definitely got a light concussion, but I didn't feel anything broken in there."
>She handed you a couple pills and you dry-swallowed them without hesitation.
>You wondered how much this would have hurt if you weren't already dulled out pretty hard.
"Thanks. That sounds, uh, good. Do I need to go to the hospital?"
>You weren't really a fan, but... You'd rather not have a fucked up face, either.
>Redheart shrugged, pulling out a suture kit.
>"I can take care of it, honestly. Or I can just glue it if you want to look like you're raising your eyebrow at everyone for the rest of your life. Could be fun, right?"
>Uhh... This didn't sound like sound medical advice.
"You can just, stitch me up here?"
>She chuckled, pulling a syringe out of the kit and flicking it.
>"I'm a real, honest to god registered nurse, Anon. I didn't always work in this school. Do you really thing doctors took the time to stitch people up in a hospital? I've done more stitches than a seamstress."
>Err, okay then. Redheart didn't seem that old to you. Thirty at most. She was probably exaggerating.
"So, it's LEGALLY okay? If so, sew me up. I fucking hate hospitals."
>Redheart gave you a grin, motioning for you to move the gauze away and just straight up jabbing you in the face with the fucking syringe!
 
>You couldn't help letting out a strangled little shriek as it seemed to be coming straight for your eye, but after a little pinch, blessed numbness flowed across your face.
"Aww, shit... That feels better."
>Redheart held up her hand, waving them back and forth a little and let out a mock shriek of her own.
>Your eyes couldn't help but follow the syringe she still held.
>"The look on your face... Oh, that never gets old. Might want to close that eye, now. I am basically coming at your face with a fish hook."
>You were coming to the conclusion that nurse Redheart might not work in a hospital anymore due to her bedside manner.
>'Coming after your face with a fish hook'? Who said that?
>Then you saw the needle.
>Yeah, that was a fair description.
>"Don't scrunch your face up like that unless you want me to do you up crooked. Relax, kid."
>Oh yeah, because THAT was going to help you relax.
>You did your best to settle down, wincing at every prick of pressure anyway as you felt your face get perforated.
>After a surprisingly short time, you heard a snip and the pricks ceased.
>"There we go, nice straight stitches. It'll barely scar. Not that scars aren't kind of sexy. Gives a face character."
>You opened your eyes to see her packing up her kit, and couldn't help giving her an incredulous look.
>Was this professional? You'd heard rumors Redheart was kind of a weirdo...
"Yeah, I'll keep my face as close to factory setting as possible, thanks."
>You noticed Thunderlane was standing in the corner of the room.
>When he caught your eye he held up your bag, giving you a thumbs up, then set it down.
>"Unless you need me, I'm gonna hit the showers Ma'am. Getting a little sticky, here."
>Redheart waved him off, but you couldn't help but notice the appraising eye she gave him as he exited.
>"Wew, I wouldn't throw that one back. So, what's in the bag, Anon?"
>Yup, she was some kind of pedo. Well, Thunderlane was eighteen, so you supposed she wasn't technically...
 
"Just, books and stuff."
>You watched her walk over to the corner and pick up your bag.
>Shit. If she actually opened it, you were going to have to make some quick decisions from an unfortunate pool of options.
>She hefted it a few times, and her efforts were rewarded with clinking and rattling sounds.
>"Huh. That doesn't sound like books to ME."
>She wouldn't really open your bag, right?
"I said 'and stuff', didn't I? Can you put my bag down, now?"
>She looked at you, the corner of her mouth quirking up.
>*Ziiiiiiiip*
>Damn it, okay Anon. Go time.
>...
>Shit.
>Nope, couldn't hit a girl.
>Rainbow doesn't count.
"Um, Nurse Redheart? Can you stop pawing through me personal property? I'm pretty sure there are rules against that."
>Pulling her hand out, Redheart regarded a pill bottle, then held it out to you.
>"But, this isn't yours at all, Anon. It says right here, 'issued to: Minnuette'. How ever will she get on without her Adderall?"
>Fuck a duck.
>Of course you were too out of it over the weekend to switch out the bottles.
>You were fucking screwed.
"Oh, those? She asked me to hang onto them... For her... Ehheh... Heh..."
>Redheart slowly walked up to you, shaking the bottle like a pair of castanets.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuHHUDnFSO0 [Embed]
 
>"Ole! Hehehe. Now, let's be serious here, Anon. You're not fooling anyone. Your 'side job' is an open secret, and Pinkie's pulled a lot of strings to keep you out of trouble."
>You absorbed this as she sidled in close to you, setting your bag gently down at your side.
>Pinkie...
>It made too much sense.
>She'd been running interference for you, cutting back room deals to keep you safe.
>You should have seen it before, it was so obvious in hindsight.
>Never getting searched.
>No one ever ratting you out when they got caught with something you gave them..
>All those glances from the cops, your teachers, like they'd been itching to do something but holding themselves back by inches.
 
>Your life was not what you'd thought it was.
>Twilight's words came back to you again.
>The path of least resistance, huh?
>Easy enough to walk down when you were being herded from both sides without even realizing it.
>"So, you're probably wondering why I'm bringing this up, right?"
>You shrugged.
>Did it matter?
>"Well, don't worry, I'm not going to throw the book at you. You haven't escaped Pinkie's little web quite yet, Mr. Fly."
>Redheart flounced back to her desk, sitting down and opening a file.
>"You just go ahead and run on down to the locker room for a shower. You look like an extra from a horror movie. Come on back afterward and we can get some things squared away."
>Oh, you didn't really like the sound of this at all.
>You reached down to snag your bag, but Redheart's hand snapped out, the pill bottle rattling significantly in her hand.
>"Go ahead and leave that here, hmm? You won't be needing it, and you're coming right back anyway, right?"
>She didn't look up from the file, but you doubted she was even reading it.
>It was a power play.
>You weren't really enjoying being on the other end of it.
"Can we just skip all this for now and pick it up tomorrow? Didn't you say I had a concussion? Shouldn't I be like, resting?"
>Redheart waved her hand again, but she looked up this time, and you could see the smirk twisting her lips.
>Well, she was certainly enjoying herself!
>"Oh, I think this is a very good time to have a little tete a tete. I like you a little off balance, and it's not often Pinkie leaves an opening like this. No, you get yourself all squeaky clean and hurry on back, hun. Now."
>Stepping out into the hall was actually a bit of a relief.
>What was going on with that woman? What were you in for, here?
>She was talking about Pinkie like she was some kind of criminal mastermind, and Redheart was her underdog arch rival.
"Did I cross some kind of invisible line into an alternate universe? I mean, do I at least get super powers?"
 
>After several attempts to set random things on fire with your mind, you gave it up for a bad effort and started off toward the locker room.
>You were a bit concerned with recent developments.
>Had Redheart planned this, or was she just taking advantage of the situation?
>It seemed a bit far fetched to assume she knew you were going to get fucked up then get fucked up.
>You'd assume the latter for now, but, what exactly did she want from you?
>A part of your business?
>You didn't exactly run a high profit margin, since you tried to keep costs down by only inflating your prices a little bit.
>You'd never been in it for the money.
>Redheart could take your customer base and connections and make herself a tidy little profit by changing the business model a bit.
>Fuck it.
>She could have it, if that was what she was after.
>You'd only ever done it for Pinkie, but now it looked like she could have done a better job herself.
>But, if it WASN'T that, what else could she be after?
>Could she be trying to enact some kind of revenge in Pinkie through you?
>Maybe...
>Suddenly, a chilling thought crossed your mind.
>Her comment about Thunderlane...
>Her, to be perfectly honest, sultry little dance number...
>Did Redheart want... You?
>Jesus, she was a cradle robber.
>But, She wasn't like, TOO old.
>Or even that bad looking.
>Pretty fine, actually, and she looked like she took care of herself.
>A slight spring in your step compared to a couple minutes ago, you made your way to the locker room, stripped down and god soapy.
>Unfortunately, the Novocain was starting to wear off, and the hot water on your cut hurt like a fucking bitch.
>So.
>You were maybe going to get laid in a few minutes, here.
>That was, that was good, right?
>Yeah, good stuff.
>You were... Maybe a little out of practice, but that was okay!
>No...
>Trying to dance around it was pointless.
>You hadn't fucked around with anyone since that night with Limestone.
 
>Now you maybe had an experienced woman to satisfy, and all you could draw on for recent experience was your five girlfriends and a palm, and fleeting memories of toned skin under your fingers flexing as you caressed it.
>Scotch, and a little bit of sweat.
>You could taste it on your lips.
>A twist of lime...
>Jesus.
>Now you were rock hard in the showers.
>Maybe you'd be up to this after all.
>You found a set of gym clothes, tossed your bloody garments in the garbage, and set out to conquer.
>Track suited and still fighting down a semi, you raced the next bell to the nurses office, barely making it before the doors around you disgorged their contents of students into the halls.
"Hey, um, nurse Redheart? I'm back. You ready to do this?"
>You caught Redheart's eyes just as she shot daggers at you, hiking her head toward to cot nearest the door, where a disinterested looking girl was messing with her phone.
>"Oh, Anon, good to see you looking a bit less like you were fresh from a war zone. Wallflower here was feeling a bit anemic, so she's having a rest."
>Literally who?
>You took in the slightly frumpy girl, then turned back to Redheart.
"So, can I go then?"
>You'd have to thank Flowerpower or whatever, later.
>For all that you'd psyched yourself up for this, it wasn't something you were really looking forward to.
>"Oh, I think she'll be fine in a few minutes. Why don't you take the cot in the back and we can draw the curtains for some privacy."
>Damn.
>Damnedy damn damn.
>It was never easy.
"Yeah, alright. Feel better."
>Wallbanger glanced up at you when you wished her well, gave you a pretty candid up and down, then went back to her phone with a hint of a smile turning up the corners of her mouth.
>You made your way to the back of the office, thumping down onto the cot, and Redheart followed you.
>She drew the curtain until only a sliver of the rest of the office could be seen, her own face the most prominent feature in your vision.
 
>"Why don't you get ready, and I'll be with you as soon as Wallflower's on her way, hmm?"
>Redheart leered at you before the curtain whisked closed.
>Well, if that wasn't a pretty clear message, you didn't know what was.
>So, what?
>Did she want you stripped down and ready to go?
>That was a bit...
>A bit too embarrassing.
>Yeah.
>Maybe, like, jacket half off?
>You couldn't exactly half unbutton track pants, but they made a nice tent after a little time recalling strong hands squeezing your thighs, playfully brushing against your...
>Oookay, yeah.
>Tent established.
>If it hadn't been such an awkward situation, you might have been slightly concerned by how quickly thinking about Limestone got you straight up and down ready to fuck.
>It was like she cast a spell on you or something.
>Waaaaaait...
>Another terrible theory was forming in your brain.
>Had the concussion knocked something loose in your possibly sorcery addled psyche?
>Pinkie had crazy horse magic.
>Who was to say Limestone didn't, too?
>Had she cast a fucking spell on you?
>Were you literally under her spell, and Pinkie caught on?
>Had she been protecting you?
>AGAIN?
>Those three girls last year, they were sirens, right?
>Maybe Limestone was a siren!
>No, okay, that didn't make any sense.
>Still!
>Just some crazy horse magic love spell.
>It had a terrible sort of appeal to it, honestly.
>Because if you'd been under a spell, maybe that meant everything you were feeling about Pinkie, everything you'd said to Pinkie...
>Maybe it wasn't your fault.
>If the spell was making you crazy for Limestone, wouldn't it make you lash out at anything standing in your way of being with her?
>It was into this den of distraction that Redheart walked, a wide smile on her face.
 
>"Well, let's get down to OH MY GOD ANON WHAT THE FUCK?!?"
>You stared at her blankly, propped up on your elbow facing the open curtain, a hand on your hip and rampant.
"You, uh, like what you see?"
>The curtain whipped closed so fast you thought it might come off it's runners, and a quaky sounding voice emanated from beyond it.
>"Get... Get decent and cover that... Cover yourself, Anon."
>You could hear her muttering frantically to herself on the other side of the curtain.
>Well, guess you didn't quite read this situation right.
>Oh, this was quite embarrassing.
>Yep, you were gonna have to hope Redheart was the 'never speak of this again' type.
>Zipping up your jacket, you looked around before shrugging and settling the pillow on the cot in your lap.
>Anon Jr. wasn't going anywhere so it'd have to do.
"Uh, you can come back in."
>A decidedly crimson Redheart hesitantly drew back the curtain, sighing in relief when she saw you were fully clothed.
>"Jesus Christ, Anon. What was that, some kind of prank? Not. Funny."
>She set her hands on her hips, glowering at you, to which you could only shrug.
"What was I supposed to think? Drooling over Thunderlane, then wanting to get me alone in your office with some pretty serious blackmail material?"
>A hand came up to rub her forehead, and she kept making uncomfortable glances at the strategically placed pillow.
>"Teenagers. I swear to god... I didn't get you in here to have sex with you, Anon."
>She sat down on the cot, keeping a respectable distance from you, and you noticed she had a file in her hand.
"Okay, then. What in hell is this all about?"
>She waved the file at you slowly, all smiles again.
>"We recently got a new transfer request for a student, which was approved last week. I think you might know her. A certain Limestone Pie?"
>Suddenly the file in Redhearts hand became a lot more interesting.
>You followed it as it swayed back and forth, before Redheart's grin caught your attention.
 
>"You guessed it, Anon. This is her medical history, which I have access to."
>She cut herself off for a moment, rubbing her wrist with her free hand.
>"I mean, I've got it in my hand, of course I have access to it. Sorry, your little stunt still has me a bit..."
>You could see the color on her cheeks.
>Oh yeah, still got it.
>"Ahem. Yes. Limestone Pie's medical records. I heard you have a bit of interest in her? Care to give them a look? There were some real eye-openers, let me tell you."
>You stared at the folder, deceptively slim for the revelations it might contain.
>It was all you could do stop yourself from snatching it out of Redheart's hands.
>That wasn't a smart move though, right?
>This was some kind of trap, right?
>It couldn't be this easy.
>And to be honest, the longer you took to grab the folder, the harder it was.
>Would Limestone want you to invade her privacy like this?
>Maybe what was in that folder would destroy any chance you had of making anything work again.
>Was it fair to see these things without Limestone here to explain them?
>To defend herself?
>Jesus.
>NOW you had to find perspective, of all times?
>Well, of course it was now.
>With answers in reach, you had to actually consider the consequences.
"Listen, Nurse Redheart, not that I'm complaining but, why are you doing this? Couldn't you lose your job if someone finds out?"
>Redheart shrugged, giving you a smug smile.
>"And who exactly is going to tell on me? You? With that fun little bag in my possession and my sterling reputation? I think this is a pretty clear cut case of mutually assured destruction, and I think I can trust in your sense of self preservation."
>Well, that was a good point.
>Still...
"That still doesn't tell me WHY."
>Okay, now the red on her cheeks could just as easily be from annoyance as embarrassment.
>"Are you seriously checking out my teeth, here? No strings, Anon. I'm just doing you a favor."
>Yeah, still avoiding the question.
>Alarms were blaring.
 
>... But it was so tempting.
>Still. Was this any different than getting the information from Pinkie?
>Wasn't this what she'd been trying to stop from happening?
>She had to have a reason.
>And you'd come down on her like a landslide.
>Fuck you, perspective.
>You really had been a fucking child about this, hadn't you?
>Letting out a groan, you slumped back against the wall behind the cot.
"I'll give you one more chance to convince me. Why do you want me to read that file?"
>Redheart met your eyes, hers wide with incredulity.
>Her fingers dug into the file in her hand, and she leaned in closer to you.
>"You want to know? Fine! I just owe little miss Pinkie a bit of frustration, and I figure this will really stick in her craw."
>You blinked.
>Redheart had some kind of bone to pick with Pinkie?
>What was that all about?
>You were distracted from your thoughts by the realization that Redheart was getting a LOT closer to you.
>Leaning over you, really.
>Practically straddling? Let's go with that.
>"You know what, though, Anon? Maybe we could do each OTHER a favor, hmm?"
>She reached over you, setting the file on the shelf by the cot.
>This also served to bring her yet closer to her.
>Particularly, a certain part of her anatomy that had you swallowing uncomfortably.
>You had to give it to her, she was an attractive woman.
>Smiling down at you, she slowly pulled back her hand to her uniform and flicked open the top button.
>"Why don't we... Revisit you're original assumption, hmmm?"
>Okay.
>This was suddenly getting complicated again.
>"Maybe I can do you a little favor, and you read that silly little file in exchange, hmmm?"
>Shit, there went another button, and enough flesh was exposed that you could see the dark black bra holding back a creamy bounty...
>Only problem was, you'd long since lost your enthusiasm for that kind of encounter.
"I, um... Nurse Redheart, I'm flattered..."
>Soft fingers pressed against your lips, and you caught Redheart's sultry eyes.
 
>"Just call me Redheart, honey. No need to be so formal. Unless..."
>Reaching over you again, she pulled something from the shelf, hiding it from your view with her hand.
>This also served to press her chest against yours, and she seemed to be more than happy to stay in this position.
>Her free hand moved to the zipper on your jacket, tugging it slowly down while you looked on speechless, pulling with forefinger and thumb while the rest of her fingers slid across your exposed flesh.
>Leaning back again to give herself room to unzip you all the way down, her other hand displayed a thermometer which she slowly brought up to her lips.
>"... You wanna play a little doctor? Hmm?"
>With a twinkle in her eye, she slipped the thermometer past her lips.
>Her tongue slid out, swirling around the rod of glass slowly, and you felt it a little bit.
>But not enough, really.
>How were you supposed to explain to this fine ass woman that the only reason you'd been able to get it up for her before was thoughts of Limestone?
>...
>And that's when you realized, you had fucked up.
>As soon as 'thoughts of Limestone' flashed through your head, it was her in the uniform.
>Limestone was licking that thermometer like a tasty lollipop, top unbuttoned and straddling your waist.
>You sprung up with such speed and force that you thought Redheart must feel like she'd been punched in the stomach, even through the pillow.
>Her delighted eyes popped wide, just like the thermometer popped free of her lips, a string of saliva trailing from it's end before it separated and drooped to splatter on your bare chest.
>"Oh my! I guess you really DO want to play!"
>Shit. Now you were light headed again, from a different kind of blood loss.
"I, um... I can explain that."
>Could you, Anon?
>Could you really?
>Jesus, it was less effort to just fuck her at this point.
>Your hands settled on Redheart's hips and she leaned back, rocking them forward.
 
>Her hand reached down to cup your cheek as her other one batted the pillow aside.
>"Oh! Well, well, well... This might be fun after all."
>Her hand slipped sensually off your cheek before settling at her hips, tugging up on the material of her uniform until it was pulled up the her waist.
>Black silk panties met your eyes, a garter clipped to them.
>She slid forward again, an avaricious gleam in her eyes as the silk met the straining fabric of your track pants.
>"You know, you were actually right about me."
>Her hands settled on your chest as she leaned in, face inches from yours.
>You felt her hips squirm, her soft flesh molding against your length, drawing a gasp from you.
"H-how so, Redheart?"
>Yeah, smooth as butter.
>You could get into this.
>Right?
>So why was a voice whispering in your head, sounding kinda sad?
>'Is this really the path of least resistance you love so much?'
>Fingernails digging softly into your flesh brought you back to attention, and you looked into Redheart's half-lidded eyes.
>"I really DO like 'em young..."
>Swiftly following this admission was another forward motion, and suddenly her lips were pressed against yours.
>Well.
>This was kind of it, right?
>You could kiss her back and go through with this, have a good time, and read the file afterwards.
>It'd be easy, and you'd get what you wanted.
>Or you could put a stop to this, get the hell out of here, and hope that Redheart didn't toss you to the wolves for spurning her.
>And of course, that would mean you had to hear Pinkie out, and finally talk to Limestone.
>It didn't take a genius to figure out the smart move, here.
>You were a smart guy, right?
>With a sigh, you shook your head slightly, causing Redheart to lurch back in surprise and break her kiss.
>You wanted to see Limestone again.
>Time to be stupid.
 
"Sorry, Redheart. Not that it isn't a tempting offer, but I think I've caused Pinkie enough grief at this point."
>She stared at you incredulously as you slid back, wiggling out from under her and off the cot.
>"I... I can't believe you, Anon. You're just gonna string me along and leave me dripping?"
>She seemed truly stunned, and another emotion was cracking through her slack mask.
>You watched tears form in the corners of her eyes, and had to turn away.
>This wasn't what you'd wanted, either.
"I really am sorry, Redheart. I'm gonna have to pass on that file, too."
>You kind of expected to hear sobs, and you weren't TOO far off the mark.
>Choked laughter came to your ears.
>It was honestly kind of worse.
>"Jesus, kid. You don't play nice at all, do you? Gimme another one, eh? I shoulda known Pinkie's right hand man wasn't some chump."
>You zipped up your jacket, watching Redheart get herself presentable out of the corner of your eye.
>There was a certain twinge of remorse when she tugged her uniform back down to a proper length.
>The road untraveled, you guessed.
"I guess not. The first fight's always the worst, right?"
>Redheart swung around in front of you, her makeup running slightly as she rubbed her cheeks dry.
>"Not really, Anon. The last one is. I'll give you that for free."
>She turned around and yanked back the curtains.
>You grunted in surprise as she let out a little shriek and stumbled back into you, barely managing to bring your hands up to keep her from falling.
>Looking past her, your heart sunk as you realized why she'd reacted so strongly.
>Vice-Principal Luna was right on the other side of the curtains, arms crossed, her signature snarl painted across her visage.
>"Nurse Redheart. There you are. And Anon as well. I suppose this answers the question of why I wasn't informed a student had been injured. You decided to take matters into your own hands again, did you Redheart?"
>You really hoped she hadn't been standing there too long.
 
>"Luna! You scared me half to death! Have you ever heard of knocking?"
>Redheart pushed off of you, taking a step forward and matching Luna's stance.
>She was regarded by a cool gaze before it switched to you, and all you could manage was an awkward grin.
"Vice-Principal Luna."
>She nodded before turning her gaze back to Redheart.
>"Well? I came all the way down here to check on the two of you. How is Anon? He doesn't seem to be in need of an ambulance."
>Redheart flicked a glance back at you before moving past Luna to her desk.
>She picked up a clipboard and flipped up the top sheet.
>"Slight concussion, light head wound which I sutured after administering a local anesthetic. No further loss of consciousness or motor functions, no heart or respiratory distress. He's in pretty good shape considering the bump he gave himself."
>While Redheart was giving your prognosis, you walked over to your bag in the corner and slowly slipped it over your shoulder.
>"Hmmm, yes. Any theories on what brought his little episode about?"
>She shot you a look, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
>You didn't get on spectacularly well with Luna, honestly.
>She might be harboring a little theory that you were a bad influence on the other students, no matter how hard you'd tried to seem the model student.
>"Oh, you know how students tend to push themselves a bit too hard. Lack of sleep? A bit of emotional distress? I'm sure you've heard about Anon's falling out with Pinkie. It's the talk of the school, after all."
>Luna turned back to Redheart, again crossing her arms, her intimidating glare settling on the nurse.
>"I had. A situation like that... Might not a student seek comfort from ill advised sources? But I'm sure nothing of the sort is going on here, hmm?"
>Uhhh...
>Was Luna trying to say you were getting fucked up on school grounds, or getting FUCKED on school grounds?
>"Well, nothing of the sort here, you're right. Although Anon did take me up on a little counseling session."
 
>Luna stared at Redheart for a moment before turning to you.
>"We have a guidance counselor for that, Anon. No reason to trouble Nurse Redheart with that sort of thing. If you have anything you need to talk about, I suggest you avail yourself of them."
>Well, this was going... Well. Maybe Luna was more interested in busting Redheart than you?
>After what you'd just done to her, it didn't seem fair to leave her hanging.
>She was covering for you as it was, anyway.
"Redheart really helped, honestly. She stitched me up after I told her how much I hated hospitals and...
Talking with her really helped clear up some stuff for me."
>It was obvious at this point Luna hadn't heard much. She was fishing, and as long as you kept cool, she'd come up empty.
>"Commendable, I'm sure. Anon, classes are nearly done for the day. After your accident, it would be cruel to keep you here. You're excused, unless you think you need help getting home."
>You were about to tell her there was no need when a thought occurred to you.
>Bringing your hand up to your forehead, you pressed your wound hard enough to bring on a legitimate wince.
"Now that you mention it, I might not be all that up to driving home. Do you think I could get a friend to take me?"
>Luna eyed you for a moment, Redheart raising an eyebrow at you behind her back.
>"I suppose that's fine. Who did you have in mind?"
>Good question. One of the girls. Who could actually drive.
>That pretty much meant Rarity or Sunset, since Fluttershy didn't have her license and Twilight didn't have a car.
>The Apples all took their truck home together, so that was out.
>You were going to have to apologize to both of them.
>Which one, though?
>Rarity would pout at you and make you feel like more of an asshole than you already did, drawing it out into a whole THING.
>Sunset would just yell at you, but eventually she'd listen.
>Although, you were trying to go about things a little differently lately...
 
"Rarity, if you don't mind? I think she has a study hall right now."
>You couldn't actually remember if that was true, but it would make it seem like you were being conscientious.
>Luna took a lot of handling, but if you seemed to be making an effort she'd usually let you slide.
>"Hmm. That sounds acceptable. I'll have her paged, then. I'm sorry for your injury, Anon, and I hope you'll recover swiftly."
>You were surprised to see clear sincerity in Luna's eyes as she patted you gently on the shoulder.
>Blinking, you watched her give Redheart a nod before briskly moving to the door and out into the hallway.
"Y-you, too!"
>Oh, yeah. Because that makes sense.
>You heard a thump from behind you, and turned around to see Redheart had slumped to the floor, hands clutching the front of her uniform.
>"Oh shit, my fucking heart. I can't believe this. How am I not fired?"
>You scratched your head.
>This woman was kind of a basket case.
>Settling down onto your heels in front of her, you awkwardly patted her head.
"You, uh, did really good? I never would have guessed you were just half-dressed and straddling me."
>She batted your hand away with a huff, pouting at you.
>"Very funny, Anon. Why aren't you freaking out? You could have been expelled, too, you know?"
>She gestured to your bag, still slung casually over your shoulder.
>"One look in there and Luna would have had you strung up from the flagpole."
>Okay, so you had to admit that was true.
>Honestly, though?
>You weren't sure if you cared.
>School was the least of your concerns right now.
>The only thing keeping you from just graduating early was Pinkie, and depending on how things panned out, that might not be a concern much longer either.
>You'd decided to hear her side of the story, but that didn't guarantee you'd accept it.
"Bigger fish to fry, I guess. You all right, now? That really was a pretty good performance."
>Redheart shuddered, looking to the side as she took the hand you offered to help her back to her feet.
>"Bigger fish to fry, he says..."
>She muttered a few choice words under her breath as she smoothed down her uniform before looking back and catching your eyes.
>"Look, just because I'm good under pressure doesn't mean I wasn't having a heart attack from the moment I opened the curtain."
>You rolled your eyes, sitting down on one of the cots and smirking at the ceiling.
"Nurse Redheart, you're a medical professional. You should be more accurate with your diagnosis..."
>You cut yourself off as you feel Redheart slide in next to you, settling her head on your shoulder.
>"I told you, just call me Redheart."
>Suddenly it's awkward again.
>Redheart really seems to know how to keep you off balance.
>First she's conniving and vindictive.
>Next she's seductive and alluring.
>Now she's timid and vulnerable?
"Readheart, were you a theater major before you went into medicine?"
>