"Follow along and turn the pages when I'm done reading one, alright?"
 "Yes momma"
 
 I prop the book up with my legs until it's at a comfortable reading level, the book laying against Sky's criss-crossed legs.
 
 "There once was an old man. He was a very grumpy old man, and he always lived alone. But one day he got sick, and doctors told him he didn't have long to live."
 
 Sky stares at the page for a second, and I stub into his side to remind him to flip the page.
 
 "At first he only got grumpier. He would have lived the rest of his life alone. But one day he got a card from someone he didn't recognize. The card said "Get well soon!" It was then that he had an idea."
 
 He remembers to flip the page this time, but he does it too fast and almost rips the page. I rub his hair with my chin and tell him to be more careful.
 
 "He went out that day and hopped through the street. He had somewhere to go, but he wasn't in a rush. He dumped his wallet as he walked by hobos and waved at everyone he came by. Everyone was shocked, why was this grumpy man so happy?"
 
 "Why's he habbe moma?" I open my mouth to respond, but I think for a second to process what I'm about to say. "I don't know. Let's keep reading." He flips the page again.
 
 "He eventually found his way to an orphanage. It was full of young children who were all sick and sad, and had nowhere to go. But he brought toys and jolly tunes, and tried to make them happier.
 
 "He danced with the girls and played with the boys, he told stories by the fire. All of the kids loved him, and he wasn't grumpy at all. But one kid didn't play with the sick man. She sat alone in the corner and watched."
 
 I can feel a lump crawling up my throat. The air feels heavy and it's starting to get hard to breath. But I try to hide it and keep on.
 
 "One day, he talked to the girl. He asked how her day was, and played with her even though she never wanted to talk to the sick man. But even she became happy, she liked being around the sick man."
 
 "The girl asked the sick man if he'd come again the next day. It was her birthday tomorrow. The sick man was delighted to come back again. And on his way home got a gift for the young girl, a box of crayons and a notebook."
 
 "dats a lame gipht." I had forgotten he was there, and I tussle his hair again with my chin. "I think it's a sweet gift. Don't you like to draw?" He pouts a bit before turning the page. I'll need to teach him to paint one day. When he's older.
 
 "But something happened that night. His sickness got worse, and he had to be taken to the hospital. The doctors did everything they could, but they couldn't save him. He spent his entire life caring only about himself, but what he worried about most was that he couldn't give the girl his present."
 
 My heart feels heavy, like it's sinking down into my stomach. Why would a children's book be so grim? Sky looks at the page for a second, before flipping the page mechanically.
 
 "He had a cheap funeral. No one thought people would come. But that day, the funeral was filled with hobos and kids from the orphanage. All of his new friends came to say goodbye. They talked about how nice he was, and no one even remembered how grumpy he used to be. He was remembered as the jolly old man who helped the poor, not the grumpy old scrooge who died alone."
 
 "But the girl didn't go to the funeral. She waited at the orphanage for the sick man to come. This entire time, she never realized he was sick at all. For a while, she was sad and grumpy, like the old man. But she decided she wanted to be like the old man, and when she grew up she spent her life being nice to people and being charitable, just like the old man."
 
 Sky quickly turns the page again, but there's nothing. That's it.
 
 "arent stories have habbe endings?"
 "Not... all stories have happy endings." My eyes start to wet. It feels like my lungs are full of tar, I can't speak. My brain is hurting like I have a migraine.
 He turns to me and gives me a funny look. I pull a fake smile, and close the book with my legs. "Let's get you to bed."
 "i can do et m'self moma!" He rolls off of me, and stands up, looking proud. I lean over and kiss him on the forehead. He slides off out of the room.
 
 Salty tears roll down my face. I roll forward into the ball, pushing my face into my knees. I try to stay as quiet as I can to not bother Sky, but it's difficult. I end up holding my breath and forgetting to breath several times.
 
 I miss you, Hisao.
 
// rib in pece haso
// do you want crackers with that chese lmao