Oct 9. ~ The phone part is actually on the 8th, but didn't feel like making another 8th entry.
I woke up for some odd reason, still very early, about 1030ish. I looked up at the ceiling and saw my alert light for my phone flashing up onto it. For a split second I thought you had sent me something on steam and I had missed it. Then I started to really wake up. It quickly sunk in that it wouldn't be you. It wasn't.
 
It started to rain a bit, just another thing that reminds me of you. It seemed like every other day you would be talking about it raining. And thunderstorms... I love how they don't scare you, just put you on edge. Its really cute.
 
I'm terrified to tell you that I need you. I don't want you to think you have to be there for me or i'll give up on life. I want you back because you still love me. I'd rather not have you than have you falsely. I wanted to ask you during lunch if you still loved me. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm afraid what the answer might be...