Oct. 6
I know I'm starting this a bit late, but oh well. The day after, I ate at home alone, just needed my own space.
 
Just wanted to be alone. I read your letter about 50 times. Then it hit me. I'd never hear 'I love you' from you again.
 
I just broke down into tears. Today I woke up, and had to resist texting you good morning.
It just doesn't feel right telling you that anymore. Too many feels connected with it or something. I just don't want you back, pat. I need you back. I told you about that test I was doing, if you would try to make convo and if you didn't was I gonna end us.
 
You have no idea how hard it was to not try and start it myself. I wanted to talk with you so bad. I want to tell you that I wont be going to the military, but I think you'll have a hard time believing that you didn't influence the choice. I want to tell you that it will be just eight~ months, not five years.
 
As I go to bed its just another night I wish you were here...