Day 55
 
The last time I opened my door to find the dog-harpy standing there, it had just trespassed in my home, rearranged my stuff, ruined my hospital corners, and generally sickened me with its very presence.  This time, it was only doing the latter.  “Get away from me,” I greet it charitably as I brush past it.
It ignores me and turns to follow me at the same time.  “Where will you be tomorrow, master?”
“Leaving, and don't call me that.”
“Leaving?  Where?  For how long?”
“If I had my way, anywhere but here and forever.”
“Will I see you again?”
 
I stop and I turn to look at the thing.  It's staring up at me with hope in its eyes.  “You've seen me twice now, and the first time I was tempted to kill you where you stood.  Why would you want to see me again?”
I barely ask the question before I regret it.  The dumbest possible smile slowly covers its face as it looks down and away from me and draws its hands together under its chest.  “Well,” it begins.  I don't let it finish.
“I will never love you.  What's more, I will kill you if you give me any reason to do so.”
Its stupid, infuriating expression is gone.  Instead it's staring at me, eyes wide, and it now clutches its hands tightly together out of nervousness.  I take a deep breath, turn, and head down the stairs.
“Will I see you again?”
 
I stop and listen to the clang of keratin striking stone as it hurries down the steps after me.  It moves closer, once more staring hopefully up at me.  I just stare at it.  “If you stay here, probably.”
It beams and announces “Then here's where I'll be.”
I continue to stare, as it continues to smile gormlessly.  “If I ever get tainted enough to desire you, I'll explode, you know.”
That ends its smile quickly enough.  The thing stares down at my feet and quietly answers “I know.”  I turn, satisfied until I hear “But you'll take that thing off someday.”
“Not while you're around I won't.”
 
It speaks wonders about these monsters that the longer I'm around them, the happier I am about my decision to don the shield.
 
---
 
“You're leaving again?”
“Yes.”
She releases a long, low whine of complaint.  “But you only just got back.”
I finish chewing the oddly rich piece of, some manner of chewy confection.  It almost has a sort of clay-like quality to its texture, but the flavor is that of mild sweetness and some manner of savory something, as though it had the slightest amount of salt added.  “I got back a month ago.”
“Well when are you coming back?”
I pause before taking the next piece.  “I don't know.  At least twenty days, I'd imagine.”
I think her pointed ears actually drooped slightly.  She stares at me, at eye level only because I'm sitting, and for a moment I feel as though I were bullying a child.  
“So why are you leaving?”  I turn to the succubus across from me as it finally deigns to speak.  
“Service.  As always.”
 
---
 
“FROM THE OFFICE OF THE IMPERATOR,
 
Victor,
 
In the coming days, a detachment of diplomats will be leaving for Caithness on a mission of peace.  You will accompany them.  Our records office has found that they will be leaving two days after the completion of your coming word training.
 
Enjoy the brief vacation in Megalos City.
 
I don't need to tell you that you'll be expected to conform to the highest expectations of decorum during this mission.  You'll be acting as a representative not only of your own order, but of our entire organization.  While the paladin orders strive to avoid political entanglements, we understand that war with other humans will only aid the monsters in our midst.  Further, it should be noted that if we are successful in closing the societal gap between Megalos and Caithness, then perhaps our esteemed leaders may yet realize that the system of excluding the whole of monsterkind is wiser than our current policies.
 
With this in mind, I've chosen you to best represent this ideal, and to best serve in showing Caithness that Megalan citizens are not blind to the dangers around them.  
 
Present yourself to my office once your word training is complete.  At that time you will be given further instruction and whatever supplies will be deemed necessary.”  
 
The same mountainous seal I saw on James' chest is pressed into the paper beneath the cursive text.
 
---
 
“Caithness,” the succubus repeats.
“Yes, Caithness.”
“Well, you should fit in there easily enough.”  It says it with exactly the derision I'd expect.
“I'll assume you're simply envious that I'm going to where all the untainted men are.”
“There are enough single men in Megalos to supply the ten largest demon realms in the world.  Do you think mamono are doing well here?”
I look up from my food to fix the thing with my stare.  I don't like doing so; the act forces me to look at it.  “You're better off than you deserve.”
“Then we all deserve to suffer for your parents actions?”
I smile.  “You're right.  I'm sure that if the war hadn't concluded that this generation of monsters – this one, unlike all the others – would have spontaneously chosen peace and left humanity to survive.”
“So what,” it starts as its expression grows more severe.  “We all deserve to die?”
“I didn't say that.”  It waits, expectantly.  I can only assume it's disappointed when I return to my food.  I'm not saying that, after all.
 
I'm just thinking it loudly.
 
---
 
“So what's the news from our newest diplomatic envoy?”  The words crackle slightly through the speaker, but not nearly enough for me to not recognize Rodrick's voice.
“I'm not an envoy; I'm more just a glorified statement of intent.  And how'd you hear about that, anyway?”
“Because I'm a glorified bodyguard.”
“Well damn, I guess there goes my plan to have fun on the trip.”  We both laugh for a moment, before I cut back in, “So how've you been?  I haven't heard from you since I stepped out of the hall.”
“Yeah, well, getting into the guards took a bit.  Seems they want to put the paladins through more shit; I guess it's a rivalry or something.”
And yet they stuck him on the first diplomatic outing, too.  Looks like Megalos is intent on putting forward the image that it's not going soft on monsters.  Either that, or they figure that nothing will happen to the diplomats if it means also harming the group that saved both nations along with the rest of humanity.  Most likely both.
 
“So how's it going being a guard?”
He gives a single, short laugh.  “Well, for the six days I've actually done any work, it's a lot like sitting on a wall and giving ferals mean looks.”
“Sounds like fighting the good fight to me.”
“I'd be insulted if I were in your shoes and someone said that what I was doing was 'fighting.”
“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, ninety percent of my job is walking around town looking like an asshole.”
“So walking around town, then?”  He's only half-finished asking the question before I'm groaning over the phone.  We both crack up over it.  “And the other ten percent?”
“Eight percent eating, two percent making monsters wish that they'd made better life choices.”
“Making you work for your rewards, eh?”
“Something like that.”
 
“I gotta say, I feel bad for the things sometimes.”
It's a hard turn on the conversation, but not one that I'm unused to.  I give him the same answer I always gave him, only in the past tense.  “And that's why your index was so low.”
“I know, I know.  'It's like pitying tapeworms.'  It's just, I think I would feel bad for killing tapeworms if they were sentient.”
“You can't think about it,” I remind him.  “They'd kill themselves off if they had the chance.  We can't feel bad for making sure they don't drag us down with them.”
“I just wish there was another way, man.”
 
There's a pause before he finally says “You probably always thought I was some huge wuss about the whole thing.”
I answer with an immediate “Never.  Kindness has always been seen as a virtue.  It's just that monsters exploit that virtue.  You aren't a worse person for being someone that they'd target.  Rather, it's just proof of how awful they are.”  I'd considered the question before, about Rodrick.  I wonder if that didn't come off as practiced.
“I guess.  It doesn't make me feel any better about it.”
“Well, look on the bright side.  Where we're going, you won't have to worry about monsters at all.”
“Fair enough.”
 
It's pleasant catching up with him as I go about my rounds.  It's almost like a reminder of school days.  It's not been two months, and yet it feels like I stepped out of the academy days ago.  I wonder again what it is that I'm doing here; am I really improving Megalos?  I want to think that every monster exiled or slain is a human soul kept from their clutches, but with so many of the things I can't help but feel that I'm slapping a bandage on a slit throat.
 
I should talk to the autocrat when I return.  I have so much more that I want to do here.  Surely there's more that I can change.