I sat in my tiny shack, the knocking on the front door refused to stop. I don’t know how it found me, I had been so careful. My glass anti-magic pendant was becoming uncomfortably warm as it absorbed the ambient magic being produced by whatever was at the front door to my humble abode.
 
      A voice called out as it continued to batter my front door. It was saying something in a language that I couldn't understand. Before long it must have given up because my pendant started cooling down after the knocking stopped.
 
     It has been almost a month since I was plunged into this nearly inhospitable place with little to no hope of returning home. I had hastily erected my makeshift home after seeing just how inhospitable and dangerous the woods around me were.
 
     This all started because of one little shit, and his magic book.
 
---
 
     My friends had always spent Fridays together bitching and moaning about jobs and how they were all going to achieve wizard status because they were greasy neckbeards and playing pretendy fun time games with dice. Until HE walked into the local gaming shop with some fancy obsidian dice and a story about how he had a black book full of REAL™ magic.
 
     He then started going on about how they could use the book to change their lives and make all their dreams come true, well my friends were suckers and quickly bought into his story asking where he got it and if he could bring it next session.
 
     So I did some reading over the week about genie wishes and monkey paws and how everything went horribly wrong in the end for everyone involved so that branched into me doing research on magic in folklore. Which is why my paranoid ass ended up buying an iron horseshoe and an old 8-inch cobbler nail also made of iron, a glass Turkish evil eye charm and a lead bracelet lined with intricate runes.
 
     All items supposedly able to ward away evil magic, hexes, and bad spirits. So then it was just waiting until that Friday.
 
---
 
     We all sat around the table chatting between ourselves. Waiting for our new guy to deliver on his promise. We all started getting antsy when everyone except for him was there. I was beginning to feel foolish, having spent a small fortune on Etsy for this artsy anti-magic shit just for the asshat not to show.
 
     As we all began to fall into our typical ‘forever alone bullshit’ the little snot waffle jumped into the room with the largest shit eating grin stretched across his weasel face and a black robe draped over his body. He looked like the typical nerd people would’ve bullied for being a D&D dweeb in his outfit.
 
     “Fear not, I will answer your prayers! I BEAR A BOOK OF MAGIC!” he said waltzing over to the table.
 
     I suppressed an eye roll of epic proportions as he pulled the massive book out of his pack. It was black leather bound and easily the size of three pathfinder core rulebooks together. He started talking at a million miles per hour flipping through the pages excitedly.
 
     “Here!” he cried stopping on a seemingly random page. “This spell will allow us to transcend this, the realm of Mundus, and our mortal forms!”
 
    “Could you guys keep it down I have a Magic: The Gathering tournament in the front room and all we can hear is Y'all yelling!” The store owner said punctuated with a broom handle beating on the dividing wall.
 
     “Sorry.” He mumbled. “Anywho...I have prepared the traditional robes and I have the chalk ready to draw out the proper circle. You get the robes on while I draw it.”
 
     I hastily pulled on the robe, it was black like the others and looked like it was made last night with nothing but a spool of thread and a needle. I sat back down at the gaming table and polished off the rest of my can of coke. Before long the other guys sat down around me with big grins on their faces.
 
     “Can you believe this guy, he’s fucking nuts!” I hissed looking at my friends. “how much do you wanna bet that book is actually blank and he’s nuttier than a squirrel turd?”
 
     “Oh come on, at the very least he’s entertaining.” one of my friends said fishing his flask out of his backpack. “at the very best we are going to see something amazing!”
 
     “Yeah, whatever.” I said never one to argue with logic, even if it was the ‘this decision was terrible we’re all going to die.’ kind.
 
     We started reading over our character sheets and set out our minis and began rolling dice like usual as Man-Weasel was busy drawing and redrawing lines all while holding what looked like a broken compass in one hand.
 
     “You think we have time for one encounter before he’s done with...whatever he is doing? I mean we’re like 100 exp from hitting level 5 and I want those sweet level 3 spells already.” another one of my friends said before stuffing his face with Cheetos.
 
     “Nah, I think we should wait.” The Forever GM friend said sitting at the head of the table. “And I swear to all the dark things if you get Cheeto dust on the books I will personally make sure you suffer.”
 
     “Don’t worry my friends I am nearing completion of the circle, and I will make sure that all our wants come true!” He yelled as he finished the circle and ran over to his backpack and switch the chalk out for candles and a box of matches.
 
     “Now it said that I needed black candles and some ceremonial oils, but Walmart was out of black candles and ceremonial oil is really vague so I grabbed these really dark blue ones...and some extra virgin olive oil. Close enough am I right?” He said with that almost ever-present grin.
 
     “Oh yeah, sounds like nothing can go wrong,” I muttered before shuffling over to his book still open on the table. It wasn’t blank, and I was shocked. It looked like it was written by hand, and I could see dog-earing and tearing from lots of use.
 
     “And we are ready everyone take up a point on the star and we shall begin.” He said standing in the center. “oh and could someone bring me the book please?”
 
     I watched my friends get up from the table and stand at five of the six points on this star. I groaned and lifted the massive tome and gave it to our ‘friend’ and took the last spot, right behind him.
 
     “Now sit, and I shall begin the incantus Arcaneum,” he said. I was resisting the urge to cough or call him on his bullshit because those didn’t sound like real words.
 
     Except for our 'leader', we knelt down and waited. He cleared his throat and began. I didn’t know if the shit he was saying was fake or terribly rehearsed google translate Latin, but before long we watched in mute awe as the chalk lines began to glow.
 
     Then the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan and ate the literal one. A hole appeared, about the size of a manhole just ripped itself open above his head and either teleported or destroyed the fan that had been there before and glowed ominously.
 
     “My friends, it’s open! Just let the magical embrace take you and we will venture together to 'Elsewhere' and have the life we were meant to have!”
 
     “GAAAAAAAAAAAY!” I heard someone yell from the front room. I watched in horror as Jr. Cult Leader dropped the book and was dragged into the portal.
 
     “See you all on the other side of the portal!” were his last words before disappearing.
 
     “Are you fucking serious?” one of my friends said as they began floating towards the portal. “Shit, Help!” We all sat motionless unable to move as he flailed his way into the portal. Absolutely Terrifying.
 
     This process continued, we all were unable to move as one by one we slowly alien tractor beamed into the gaping Hellmouth.
 
     Unicorn GM friend was the one right before me, he struggled, begged, plead to higher powers and I ultimately was unable to help him. I did my best to try and stick an arm out to try and catch him, only to fall a few fingers short.
 
     It was my turn I was half expecting to feel like I was in an anti-gravity field but I was able to walk around normally until I noticed the warmth emanating from my pocket. I fished around and pulled out the horseshoe.
 
     It was rusting around the edges of the outermost points inward. I quickly started moving and noticed as I moved the rust spread faster. I felt bad. I was sure that I could have booked it out of there before the horseshoe rusted away, but what would I be? Alone. More alone than I was when I entered this building.
 
     Well, No one ever said I was the brightest crayon in the knife drawer. I leaped for the book and pulled it tight to my chest. I watched in horror as the horseshoe fell out of my grasp and shattered on impact.
 
     I was cursing every Diety I could think of as I was dragged into the portal above.
 
---
 
     The portal closed after I was drawn in, I was left clutching the book that got my friends and me into this mess. I watched as I was now standing in some quasi-space filled with motes of light and flittering images that were just on the edge of my vision, close enough I could have tried to catch them, but quick enough they would’ve been gone before my hands got there.
 
     I turned only to see something of a nightmare. Everyone else in some stages of changing into...things as they floated listlessly in the void.
 
     Cheetos friend was clutching his rib cage with stubby mint appendages without fingers as wings flapped behind his back. GM friend was holding his arm in shock as a hand shifted into the same round shape and poked at some kind of forehead growth. Flask Friend was covering his face, his lips were moving frantically, either yelling something or just plain screaming but everything was silent, a single glimpse at his face revealed an eye too large for any human skull to possibly contain.
 
     I watched knees migrate upward, and my friends change into what could be as if a someone drew a real-life horse with nothing but oil pastels or colored pencils and an arts degree in biology. Before I could try and get close to any of them they just, disappeared, sucked through a hole in the space into someplace new.
 
     I fought, expecting the same body horror to overtake me, however, it never happened. I stood in the space, alone again, damn it. Then I remembered my cobbler’s nail and fished it out of my pocket.
 
     It was glowing like it was red hot, but it was cool to the touch. I noticed as I moved it around the space in front of me the very walls of dimension moved away from it. It was like it was afraid of it.
 
     I quickly twisted, catching the wall beside me with the point of the nail. The dimension collapsed around me with a howl and I celebrated as I watched the colors disappear and fade revealing my new surroundings. I was high in the air and above what looked like an old oak tree.
 
     I fell fast the wind whipping around me and I hit some of the topmost branches, knocking the wind out of me and scratching me up badly. I continued to fall because I didn’t grab any of the branches and before I hit the ground the stupid black robe got caught on a branch and tore, unceremoniously dumping me on the ground.
 
     I spent the next few weeks building my shack and reading the tome whenever I wasn’t trying to scavenge for food or water. I had found a spell the allowed me to make copies of the cobbler nail out of stone; although I had no experience with magic before when the spell said it’d make two nails it would make six when I aimed for ten I easily had over fifty nails.
 
---
 
     But now it wasn’t safe, some magical creature knew where I was living. I wasn’t safe anymore. My cobbler nail rusted away from the ambient magic a couple days ago, it had lasted me while but now I only had my bead and a lead bracelet.
 
     I packed everything I could carry in the bag I made from the scraps of the robe and set out through the forest. I said a prayer to whatever might be listening as I trudged through the fresh mud from the last couple night’s rain. It was late and it was already growing darker by the minute
 
     As I walked I could see little animals darting around squirrels and birds. Nothing threatening. I noticed beautiful blue flowers growing even through the chokingly thick canopy. I was half tempted to stop and smell one, but I dismissed that thought. Safety first, I can relax when I’m dead.
 
     As I turned the corner I realized I wasn’t as safe as I thought.  As I sat there quietly as possible I noticed three wolves made entirely of sticks and held together by ambient magic. I didn't know what these were, but they had been howling outside my shack every night for the last week or so after they realized I was lazy with my food scraps.
 
     I began to back away slowly but it was already too late, the runt of the three started growling and some of the sticks on its back rattled and stuck up like raised hackles. I knew that there was no way I’d fight them off physically. So I pulled the lead bracelet off my wrist and held it tight and spoke some of the words I laughed at so quickly only a short while ago.
 
     A bubble of almost pink energy surrounded me as I fished a hunk of charcoal out of my bag. The wolves circled just a few inches away from the shield. “This is so dumb. I’ll turn the forest to ash, but at least I’ll be alive.” I said to no one in particular.
 
     I threw the hunk of charcoal outside the bubble. The wolves paid it no mind as it landed a couple feet away. “Invocare Ignis.” I reflexively ducked down in my bubble.
 
---
 
      The citizens of both Ponyville and Canterlot watched as the conflagration in the Everfree forest burned in a huge pillar that extended several hundred feet into the sky. It was a flash fire that lit up the night sky for only a couple seconds but the burning trees lit up the evening sky.
 
     A certain purple princess had a letter written up in short order and was already heading to get her friends together to investigate. One of her friends said her senses had told her about a potential friend in the woods, but they weren't home when she went to visit.
 
---
 
     I stretched up returning to full height. The bubble collapsed around me as the lead bracelet filmed over with white corrosion. I just grabbed my bag and took off running again. The trees that hadn’t started burning started to thin as I ran through the smoke. I noticed poking through the trees was the remnants of some ancient building long reclaimed by the forest. I covered my mouth to the best of my ability to try and keep the smoke out as I ducked inside.
 
     It was old stone and would be a great refuge from the fire and hopefully the smoke. I knew that if I were in any real danger I could potentially use magic, but I didn't know how much longer my bracelet and bead would hold up against being exposed to more magic.
 
     I quickly started to explore, and as I did I felt at ease. Dilapidated shelves lined the walls; their old shelves bowing under the weight of old books. I dismissed the idea of pulling them off their shelves to read over them. More magic wouldn't solve my situation yet.
 
     I had my friends to find, and a son of a bitch to beat the shit out of.