>you pinched the bridge if your bony (heh) nose
"Look, it isn't my fault that a slew of ill thought out treaties and deals you made with surrounding kingdoms drug you into a war that you're not interested in fighting. That's why I'm proposing this deal."
>"Anonymous, you know I cannot just GIVE you the Griffin Kingdom. We haven't always seen eye to eye, but they're still relatively close allies."
>you fold your arms in front of your chest
"We're close allies as well, 'your highness'. Or have you neglected to notice that you've lost exactly 0 troops in any skirmish you've been involved in?"
>"The incompetence of your undead troops is no concern of mine."
"Not incompetence, sun horse. I ORDERED them not to touch Equestrians. I'm trying to honor our alliance."
>Celestia narrowed her eyes
>"Why do you even want the Griffin Kingdom? And the second part, patrolling the largest graveyards in my kingdom?"
>you shrugged
"The ghouls say the griffins taste like chicken. And my forces could use more aerial presence. Besides, their zealotry caused them to invade us first. I'm simply seeing it through to its logical conclusion."
>a sense of grim satisfaction passed through you as Celestia shuddered at the mention of your soldiers eating other creatures
"And as far as the graveyards are concerned, I'd figure I'd do you a favor and keep them clear of wandering spirits and displaced poltergeists. They cause nothing but trouble for the living and the fuel my spells. So, what do you say, old friend?"
>the princess bristled
>"We haven't been friends since you embraced this unnatural power if yours."
>you gave her a withering look before turning on your heel and moving towards the exit of the audience hall with a flourish
"You know as well as I the fault doesn't lie with me. You only need to look to your resident chaos lord to fine blame. Think about my offer."
>your face was in a sour line as you snapped your fingers, startling the royal guards posted at the door and prompting them to scramble out of your way
>in a burst of green fel fire, a book with gruesome skin bindings and elongated teeth bordering the covers along the pages
>it was more for effect than anything as you walk into an expanding pool of the same green fire
>it's surprisingly cool to the touch, though you know it's only due to the fact that you command it
>with a sound akin to a whirlwind, you vanish from the palace in Canterlot, satisfied that you left a bright green and black scorch mark in the middle of the impeccably polished tiles
>your next footfall lands on a comfortingly familiar ground as wet dewdrops begin to coalesce around your boots
>you found yourself at the head of an old, abandoned cemetery that adorned the top of a hill overlooking the Everfree Forest
>the corpses here had already long been reanimated by you, or had fallen into such decay that even the bones weren't useful to you anymore, but it still provided you a relatively safe space for some introspection
>you took a seat atop one of the grander headstones in the shape of a stone chair, worn with rain and age
>dark green vines had grown up the side of the headstone, and you had grown to appreciate the irony of this seat overlooking death
>you sat and assumed "The Thinker"s infamous pose, resisting the urge to shit your pants right then and there
>every time
>you stifled a chuckle as you leaned back and crossed your legs, thinking about the events that have started to unfold
>it wasn't necessarily true that the griffins started this war
>but you couldn't help that the majority of your minions had started clamoring for bloodshed
>the psychic strain that they put on you was pretty immense, and some days it was all you could do not to lose what smidgen of yourself you had left to the void
>you never wanted to end up this way in the first place
>as if summoned by your thoughts, the smell of lightning and ozone assaulted your senses, and the muffled pop of a teleport hit your ears
>you didn't need to open your eyes to know who it was
"Discord."
>"Anon, buddy! How has my dear friend been faring?"
>you didn't answer him, instead opening your eyes and locking him in an icy glare, drumming your fingers along the armrest of the stone throne
>"That good, huh? Sometimes I wonder what happened to you. You used to be so full of...life!"
>the draconequus collapsed into a giggle fit, spurts of chocolate milk shooting out of his nose and saturating the damp ground around you
>some of it would have hit you, but gouts of green flame shot out from around you and vaporized the milk before it could make contact
>regaining his composure, Discord floated down to a few feet in front of your face
>"Do you still hold a grudge for what happened all those years ago?"
"You mean the century and a half that has passed since our ill fated adventure?"
>"Has it been that long?"
>you fell back into your silence, hoping that if you ignored him for long enough, he'd get the hint and fuck off
>despite your best efforts, memories started to rise unbidden to the surface of your mind
>all that time ago, when you were a simple, chaotic human, and he was still a free, unreformed god of chaos, you would go on the occasional adventure together
>a forgotten jungle shrine, an island interposed upside-down suspended at the bottom of an ocean
>a surprisingly normal tavern at the edge of existence playing games of life and death
>these were the norms of your mortal days
>eventually, he came to you with another proposition
>"Join me in exploring this temple of death," he said
>"What could go wrong?" he said
>nothing did, for the first few corridors
>confidence was building in the both of you as you explored, which prompted you to open the book
>that damnable book