>"Now Anonymous dear, don't sulk."
"Seriously Rarity. Don't talk to me right now.
>She sighs, rolling her eyes as you slump in your seat.
>You and the White plague are on your merry way to the hustling and bustling city of Manehattan for a friendship problem.
>Yeah! New shit here. Rarity's cutie mark and a silhouette of your dick were circling Manehattan on Twilight's map, so I guess that means you're part of the MOTHERFUCKING, BULLSHIT PONY GANG.
>Why, and how does the map know how your genitals look? Fucking inappropriate.
>If you didn't get it, you're not exactly thrilled to be on this trip.
>"You should consider this a chance to get some sunlight! To finally be outside of that cave you call a home, instead of hobbled inside like some type of Troll-"
"Ay, fuck you! I get out sometimes! I just don't want to have to globe hop on some cramped ass train with a Pony I genuinely dislike!"
>Rarity's eyes get glossy as if she's about to cry.
"Don't give me that look. I know what you did with Capper!"
>She covers her mouth with her hooves, her eyes darting around the car.
"Uh huh. Thought so."
>The train finally pulls in to the "High Whin" train station, where you both disembark.
"So where do we go? How exactly does this work?"
>Rarity puts a hoof to her mouth.
>Well first off we should go check on the Carousel and maybe it'll come to us."
"Killer. Let's move then."
>Rarity looks at you expectantly.
"What?"
>She nods her head to a baggage cart filled with suitcases.
>"Well they're not gonna carry themselves Darling."
"True. I hope your magic holds out!"
>She gasps.
>"Anon! A true gentleman would GLADLY carry a lady's bags!"
"Show me a lady and I'll carry her bags then!"
>#ROASTED.
>One shouting match filled with obvious sexual tension later, and the two of you were off, with Rarity carrying her own fucking bags.
>You told her if she could breathe through her mouth, you'd carry all her luggage for the rest of her life.
>Stupid obligate nasal breather.
>You have to admit the city is pretty nice. It has that right amount of disgusting, shitty, crime ridden, port o john city to make you feel like you're back at home.
>You both pass a pony holding up a "Feel Boss" sign.
"What's "feel Boss"?"
>"You don't want to know darling."
"Fair enough."
>You arrive at the Carousel Boutique finally, being careful to sidestep a spontaneous song and dance number. Fucking Ponies.
>A bell jingles when you enter, and from behind the counter, a mare with a blue mane pops her head up.
>She looks absolutely exhausted from her messy hair to her uneven collar...thingy.
>Not sure what to call it.
>"Rarity! Hello! It's nice to see you! And-"
>She looks at you.
>"...Yooooou...?"
>You hold up a hand.
"Don't worry. We've never met before."
>She releases a sigh of relief.
>"Why Coco! What's wrong? You look a mess!"
>Rarity drops her bags where they are, fussing over the Pony called Coco's appearance.
>Coco looks down ashamedly while Rarity combs her mane, and adjusts her...that collar thingy again.
"So what's going on?"
>Scoping out the store, you see it's an absolute wreck.
>Mannequins strewn all over. Scraps of Fabric here and there. Buttons and other random items. It looks like the Missouri riots rolled through here.
>"It's been so busy, and I'm having a difficult time keeping up!"
>Rarity tilts her head.
>"Keeping up? But you're excellent at sewing dearie! The words" keep up" and Coco Pommel can't even be in the same sentence!"
>Coco blinks slowly frowning.
>"I've been dealing with outside issues I really can't speak of."
>BING BONG. FRIENDSHIP PROBLEM DETECTED.
>You stretch an arm around Rarity and pull her close to you.
>"A-Anonymous! I hardly think this is the time to be affectionate-"
"Get your horn out of the gutter white girl. This is a group huddle."
>"White girl?"
"Focus. You heard what she said right? She's having an issue outside of work!"
>"Yes. That she doesn't wish to discuss. What's your point?"
"You stupid mother-- That's the friendship problem!"
>She puts a hoof to her chin as if thinking.
>"I don't know darling. Friendship problems usually include TWO ponies."
>You facepalm and look over to Coco who's trying to straighten up the store, by picking up Mannequins.
>"I mean the state of the store is a problem sure, but I don't think this is the friendship problem we need to investigate."
"I still don't know why the map sent me, one of the most anti-social people alive out on a social issue."
>"Friendship problem."
"Fuck you."
>You push Rarity away, and start picking up Buttons and Fabric.
"Go find us a Hotel or something while I help her get this place back in working order."
>Coco smiles warmly at you.
>"Sounds like a plan. I shall return shortly with out lodgings information!"
>She poses dramatically, wearing a scarf you're not sure when she had time to put on, and exits the store, with an accompanying jingle.
>Now that the element of idiocy is gone, maybe we can get this Friendship problem fixed.
>HOL UP.
>If it's fixed will your cock glow and vibrate?
>That's gonna feel AWESOME.
>A small thud snaps you out of your thoughts.
>Coco drops a basket at your feet divided into two sections.
>"You can put the buttons and Fabric in this!"
"Oh! Cool."
>She smiles again, and sighs once more.
>Time to get to work.
>"Thank you for your help. I never realized that this place needed so much work when I signed on..."
>She picks up pins in her FUCKING TEETH.
>What.The.Fuck.
"Uhm...that's-uh..."
>"Hm?"
>She has a mouthful of pins at this point.
"N-nothing. I was just wondering a few things."
>"Yes?"
>She drops the pins into a small box on the counter.
"I won't ask about this personal issue you're having, but I would like to know how long it's been going on for, if that's okay."
>She looks to her upper left, and right, thinking.
>"Hmmm....I'd say maybe about a month?"
"It must be pretty serious if you're left in this state of affairs huh?"
>"Maybe not to some ponies, no."
>She starts folding a cloth.
>This Mare is pretty dexterous considering she's a filthy Magicless savage- KOFFKOFFKOFF Wow! Where did that come from?
"Yeah, and I could understand you not wanting your boss to know of your IRL drama."
>"Eye-Arr-Ell? What's that?"
"In Real Life."
>"Oh. Well. No. No I don't."
>She goes back to folding.
"What if I told you, you could trust me? Now I know what you're thinking, and the actual answer may shock you-"
>She puts a hoof up.
>"You're sweet for your concern, but I don't think you'd understand. It's really weird. I'm kind of..."weird"."
>You look at her with half-lidded annoyed eyes.
"Right, the biped hairless, foul-mouthed creature from another world wouldn't understand "weird"."
>She opens her mouth to say something, but stops.
>"Touche."
>She motions for you to follow her to the back with the buttons and Fabric scraps, carrying the folded cloth on her back.
>Walk and talk? It's a start.
>"I broke up with my special somepny."
"Okay. That's not weird though."
>"That's not all of it. It was a nasty breakup. Really nasty, and it's bothering me."
"Yes. That's how most relationships work Cokes. sometimes they work, and sometimes they're doodoo feces. That doesn't make it weird."
>She bites her bottom lip.
>"I-I can trust you right?"
"Yeah."
>She leads you to a trunk in the back room.
>Wait.
>OH SHIT. OOOOOOOH SHIT.
>There's a corpse in the trunk. This fucking pony is a black widow bro!
>She's gonna open this trunk and there's gonna be a decaying corpse inside. Luckily there's a mannequin leg on the ground nearby so you can bludgeon her in self-defense.
>You can use your projectile vomit to blind her after the stench penetrates your nostrils.
>She opens the trunk-
>-And there's nothing but clothes inside. Oh.
>"We had a special sort of relationship you see? They did things for me that-?"
>She narrows her eyes.
>"Why are you holding that mannequin leg?"
"Uhm...No reason."
>You put the leg down, giving her your best grin. We're talking Aristotle Means Grin tier here.
"So these "things"?"
>"Th-that, I can't really get into...I just know that no other pony can really help me in the way they did."
>What's with all this Pronoun shit?
"Well in any case, That doesn't make you weird. Plenty of people-er ponies go through the same thing. If you love someone, and you break up with them, sure you'll miss things they could do for you, whatever that is."
>She sighs heavily once again, closing the trunk.
>"I suppose..."
"You just got to move on. Take some time for you, and keep on chuggin!"
>You give her a friendly pat on the back, but misjudge the length of your arm, and instead get stopped by her bulbous pony booty.
>SMAK.
>Coco jolts, and stiffens up with a soft "Eep!".
"SHIT. I'M SO SORRY! I DID NOT MEAN TO DO THAT! I MISJUDGED THE LENGTH AND I WAS AIMING FOR YOUR BACK AND-"
>Coco shivers, staying silent.
"C-Cokes?"
>"....Nn."
"I'm sorry Coco."
>She slowly looks back at you with glazed over eyes.
"Uhhh...?"
>"Anon...?"
"Yes?!"
>Oh shit, she's gonna cry.
>Knowing the cosmos, Rarity is gonna walk in and catch her sobbing, and think you did something stupid!
>"Ha-Haah...!"
>Wut.
"I'm not sure that's a response."
>She suddenly gallops towards you, tackling you to the ground. That Earth Pony strength is no joke.
>She straddles you, panting heavily.
"Coco! Control yourself! You don't want-"
>HOL UP TAKE TWO. Are you seriously telling this heavy panting mare, that's straddling your Cutie Rod to get off you?
>Are you gay?
>"Can I tr-trust you?"
"I said yes."
>"Really?"
"YES."
>Her tongue hangs out the side of her mouth, as her head leans back to the ceiling.
>"Please help me Anon. Please! I NEED this!"
"I still don't know what you need."
>She gets off of you, leaving a huge puddle on your crotch.
"Aw dude! Fucking weak! These are my best High Waters!"
>Coco positions herself on the aforementioned Trunk, parting her tail.
"Oh gosh. This is happening."
>Coco is winking so hard,it's like her vagina is having a stroke.
"Wut.
>"Please. I need this! You said I could trust you!"
"Cokes. You're acting like my Chinese pornographic Show tunes! What's going on?!"
>She looks away from you, and down at the trunk.
>A whole lotta not fucking this mare going on here.
>"See? I told you I'm weird..."
>You stand up, the slimy puddle sliding down your pants.
"Well, this is certainly a shocking development, but you're not weird. Is this what you meant by the "things" your somepony did for you?"
>She slowly nods, not facing you.
"So is this like- a down low freak thing or-"
>"I.........st."
>You get closer.
"What?"
>"I'm a Masochist."
>Oh. Wow.
"Like...a super bad one? Am I supposed to beat the shit out of you or something?"
>She looks at you with horrified eyes.
>"N-no! I just like being spanked, and...uh...butt stuff."
>The forbidden Breeding hole?! How can one mare spit such heresy?!
>Dick does't think so though. You thank god that your Kickstarter for the "Psychic Zipper" fell through.
>"I've been without for a whole month...I'm starved!"
>You Moral Orel gulp.
>Coco sniffles a little, hanging her head.
>"I'm so weird...I'm so darn weird...!"
>You look at the palm of the hand that started all of this, and down at the crying Coco.
>Fuck it.
>Getreadyforthespacejam.mp3
>SMAK
>Her head shoots up, teeth grit, and eyes looking as if they're going to jump out of her head.
>"A-AGH!"
"Uhhh...was that too hard?"
>She shivers again, her head returning to its original position.
>Trunk staring match.
>SMAK.
>"OOH!"
>You look at your hand again, and holy shit is it SOAKED. Like that Twilight in heat comic. That shit.
>Coco shakes, and wiggles, her hind quarters pink from your assault.
>"Pl-please. I need more...!"
"More?"
>She nods silently.
>You look at her wiggling nethers.
>"My b-butt!"
>That's the incorrect hole! The love between a Man and a Mare is pure, and innocent. Your human seed is meant for qt 3.14 Mare uterus. Not her Taco Bell Beef Maker!
>Sorry if you were enjoying Taco Bell
>Dick has had enough of your purist Vagina bullshit at this point, and summons forth his innate ki to break your pants.
>Coco gasps.
>She's not the only one.
>Her Sky blue peepers look into your question mark.
>Without a word, she repositions herself in front of you, her dark Genitals mere centimeters from you.
>"I'm ready."
>No. NO. If you give in here, how can you look Papa Anon in the eyes, and told him you fucked a Mare not where it blinks but where it stinks?!
>What sort of pig disgusting monster would-
>"Ahhnhh!"
"Huh?"
>Dick, not bothering to listen to your inner monologue has inserted himself into her pooper.
"Well fuck."
>Coco's head hits the trunk with a solid "thump" staring off into the distance with a big smile.
>NANI? Is this the Legendary-
>Ahegao?
>Coco takes a deep breath, and releases a torrent of cum from her hole.
>RIP Loafers.
>"Haa~aaaaahaaaa~"
>You shrug, and thrust in, and-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9uQoket-c4 [Embed]
>Don't be surprised. Not every Anon in Equestria invested points into E for his "SPECIAL!".
>"Fill me u-up!"
>You unconsciously grab her tie and yank back on it, as years of pent up Rarity Sexual Tension erupts forth like a Scary Movie™ reference.
>"G--gak!"
>She pats your hand with her hoof repeatedly, her face turning red, and drool oozing out the side of her mouth.
>"K-Key Lime...KEY LIME!"
"Key lime?"
>You release the tie, pulling out of her butthole with a slimy pop.
>She collapses onto the Trunk gasping for air, with closed eyes.
>"Saf-Safety word..."
"Oh."
>You rub the back of your head, Penis looking like an ice cream sandwich(you'll figure it out) not sure what to do next.
>"Th-thank you..."
"You're welcome...?"
>Blurp. Splat.
"Heh. Gross."
>On cue, your penis starts to glow and Vibrate.
"I FUCKING KNEW IT!"
>One awkward, and very silent clean up later, Rarity finally came back, face flushed as if she'd been running for some time.
>She bursts through the door, sending the bell into a jingle frenzy.
"WHOA! What's the fucking fire?!"
>"I DID IT!"
>You and Coco exchange looks of confusion.
"Did what?"
>She presents her rump to you.
"Oh lawdy."
>You have to look away. Coco turns beet red.
>"LOOK! MY CUTIE MARK! I SOLVED THE FRIENDSHIP PROBLEM!!"
"O-oh yeah? How?"
>"I was looking for a motel, when I found this homeless fellow, and I gave him a gemstone so he could go buy a sandwich!"
"Okay."
>"He then went to his friend and they ran off to buy some newfangled food called "Kur-rack!" They were happy, and saying they would never fight over this Kur-Rack again!"
>Sweet baby Jesus, this mare.
"Excellent work Rarity. That's totally why my crotch started glowing, and not for any other reason."
>She puffs her chest out proudly.
>"Well Darling, I AM an element of Harmony. This is just what we do, and as Rainbow Dash would say; are AWESOME at it."
>You shake your head.
>She then looks around the store, nodding in satisfaction.
>"I see that the two of you have cleaned things up here!"
>She then looks to Coco.
>"Oh my! Coco! You're positively glowing! Did something happen?"
>"NO."
>Coco covers her mouth embarrassed.
>Rarity flinches from the sudden outburst.
>"I-I mean, just Anon helping me with work. The extra hoof went a long way! I wish I had a worker like him around to help me run things."
>Hmm.
>"Yes, well. It would be nice, but his home is in Ponyville with all his friends! Like me!"
"I think I'm going to stay and help her run things here."
>Coco's face looks like she just won the fucking lottery. Show some Nuance dammit.
>"REALLy?!"
>"Are you sure Anonymous? This is a big decision."
"I'm pretty sure I want to stay, and never have to see that stupid map or you again."
>"Oh Anon! Such a kidder!"
>You groan.
>"While it's true I can't tell you what to do in this instance, are you sure? You don't have a home here or anythi-"
>"He can stay with me!!"
>You and Rarity look at Coco in unison.
>She blushes again.
>"Until h-he gets on his feet I mean..."
>"...Right."
>Rarity turns to you.
>"If this is your decision, then I'm fine with it Anonymous. You still have a room tonight at least. You can move in with Coco tomorrow."
"That sounds like a solid plan."
>Rarity smiles.
>"I'm going to miss you."
"I'm not going to miss you. I work at one of your damn branches now. I'm probably gonna see your ass more now then I used to living in the same damn town."
>She giggles at your rudeness.
>"Oh Anon. It'll be so lonely without you!"
"Uh huh."
>You roll your eyes.
>"Why don't we close up for the day, and go eat supper? I know the best restaurant!"
>HA! She wishes!
"On my mama you got me fucked up. I saw Spice up your life, you horned thot. We're going to a burger joint."
>"Well I never!"
"Good! Then we're gonna pop your Burger cherry. Let's go bitch."
>You walk past her out the door.
>"Oh Anon~ You're such a riot!"
>All Coco can do is smile warmly. A penny probably wouldn't be enough for her thoughts right now.
>All in all. Not a bad way to end this trip.
>One thing though.
>Nearby in a trashcan you see a bundle of roses laying on top, and an obviously trampled card.
>Inspecting it, you can see it seems to be an apology letter detailing all of the writers wrongdoings, but twisting it to sound like the recipients fault.
>You can barely make out who signed it.
"Suh...Po...Are?"
>"Anonymous! Come along now, or we'll leave you!"
"Oh shit. Coming!"
>You toss the garbage back into the can, and jog to catch up with the two mares.
>What a waste of flowers.
 
End of chapter one