Happy Birthday, FlutterPriest (You fucking whore <3)
 
 
>Day pineapple in Equestria
>It's that special time of day.
>A time of self reflection, meditation and self realization.
>That's right, it's time to...
>Take a crap.
>To some it may be silly, but for you it's the rare chance you have at getting some peace and quiet.
>Especially when you're being pestered by a banana pony who is always trying to guess your fetish.
>You lock the bathroom door and unbuckle your pants.
>The moment is nigh!
>Captain, General Shit is on his way!
>You drop your pants to the floor.
>Aye cannut 'old it fer much longer. She's at 'er limit!
>You take your seat on your white porcelain throne.
>There's a knock at your front door.
>. . .
>GODFUCKINGF#%^&$%#$%^$%&#^#$%&
>Pulling up your pants and trying to not look so cross you storm across the house and open the door.
>Lo and behold, it's fucking Fluttershy.
>Had you known it was her you wouldn't have answered.
"What is it now?! I've got better things I could be doing rather than play this stupid game with you."
>The meek little pony winces knowing she must have crossed the line.
>"I'm terribly sorry, I know you're usually having your private time about now but I always wanted to ask you something."
"Whatever it is, it can- wait, how do you know about my private time?"
>She smiles innocently. "I realized that maybe I was being too forceful with trying to get to know you. But I would like to start fresh, so how about dinner maybe? We can just talk and share stories. I promise no funny business or attempts at guessing your fetish."
>She seems genuine enough.
>But your gut had other things on its mind. You could feel the moment approaching again.
"Yeah, that sounds great, but now isn't a good time."
>Fluttershy looks ecstatic as her wings pop out. "Y-you really mean it?"
"Yes, now go away!"
>She was too busy skipping up and down and being all giddy to listen to you. "Then maybe for dessert we can bake some brownies!"
>Your gut pushes harder onto your bowels.
>You groan in distress.
>"Or some soft serve chocolate ice cream!"
>This had to be a cruel joke, you squirm in place trying to hold out.
>"Maybe some prune smoothies while sitting on a stool?"
>. . .
>You can't hold it any longer.
>"Anon, are you okay?"
"WHATEVER!COMEBACKATSIX!"
>You slam the door and run for the bathroom.
>Crisis adverted.
>Finally, some peace and relief.
>After your business was said and done, six o'clock eventually rolls around and there at the door knocking was Fluttershy wearing the biggest smile on her face.
>"Good evening, anon. What are we going to have for supper?"
>Crap, you hadn't thought this far ahead.
"I don't know. How about some...."
>You roll your eyes around until Fluttershy interjects.
>"Spaghetti would be nice, yes?"
>You pause and leer at her slightly.
"Yeah, that could be nice, I suppose."
>You grant her entry as you both set to make fresh pasta and sauce from scratch.
>Fluttershy would handle the sauce while you make the spaghetti.
>All the while you begin to warm up to her.
>She was actually nice to talk to when she wasn't being weird about guessing your fetishes.
>Almost like a sister, in a weird four-legged kind of way.
>She pulls out a red bottle from your pantry. "I didn't know you like red wine."
"Not often, but we can have that with our dinner if you want."
>Her eyes seem to glimmer at the notion.
>Before you knew it, dinner was served and you both enjoyed each others company.
>It was nice to sit and talk about normal things rather than having her guess your fetish.
>Wiping the corner of your mouth clean of sauce you pour yourself and Fluttershy another glass of wine.
>Too bad she can't hold her liquor, she was already acting a bit strange.
>At least she was still trying to be normal.
>"Anon, this was really nice. I should've just done this in the first place." She wavers a bit in her seat.
"This is the most I could ask for in this kind of relationship."
>A smirk runs across her face, she giggles under her breath.
"What's so funny?"
>Staggering out of her chair she makes her over to you. "The spaghetti is nice, but do you know what I'm really craving?"
>Here_we_go_again.jpg
>One wrong word and she's out of here.
>She gestures you to lean down to her.
>Cupping her hoof around your ear she whispers. "I could really go for some..."
>Then her voice drops down by a couple of octaves.
>"Ravioli ravioli, give me the formuoli..."
> ! ! !
>But how...?
>You grab Fluttershy by the pink hair and rip it off. Sure enough, it wasn't Fluttershy at all, it was a robot!
>Reaching to the back of your head you pull off your mask to reveal to long eye stalks glaring angrily at the intruder.
>A tiny one eye plankton pops out of the robot. "Krabs!"
"Plankton!"
>"KRABS!!"
"PLANKTON!"
>A window nearby explodes into glass and poking her head through was Rainbow Dash.
>With her grin a mile long she snickers. "Spongebob..."
>Both you and Plankton give a blank stare at the strange blue pegasus. Suddenly you feel cold metal grabbing at your crotch.
>You reel in pain as the robotic Fluttershy uses metal pincers to hold you in place.
>"Thought you could hide the secret formula on me, did you Krabs? There's only one place on that dump of a disguise where you would hide something like that."
>Fluttershy's robotic mouth starts to tug at your disguise.
"So that's why you were trying to guess this thing called a 'fetish', just so you can get into my pants."
>"That's right and know I'm going to run you out of business you old crustacean fool!"
>Fluttershy finally bumps into something hard. Plankton flashes a cheesy grin. "Is that a secret formula in your pants or are you just finally realizing that Fluttershy is best waifu?"
"A waifu what now?"
>The robot pony clenches her mouth on the glass bottle containing a slip of paper with the krabby patty forumla.
>The metal pincers wouldn't budge no matter how hard you squirm.
"Nooo! Spongebob, stop him!"
>The clumsy sponge tries to fit his way through the window. "I'm trying Mr. Krabs, but this suit is all sweaty and smells like someone ejaculated inside it."
>Plankton holds the glass bottle over his head triumphantly. "Gahahaha! Now to make my getaway!"
>Pressing a small button, a miniature rover plops out of Flutterbots rump and lands on the ground.
>Plankton hops in and fastens on a helmet and starts it up.
>Slowly the vehicle makes his way towards the door.
"Spongebob! Hurry!"  
>Plankton laughs once more. "Time to shift into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!"
>With another press of a button, the rover speeds up a little.
>Spongebob wasn't going to make it in time.
"Noooo! Not me forumla!"
>Suddenly the door swings open and stomping through was the real Fluttershy.
>One of her hooves comes crashing down on Plankton and his tiny vehicle.
>"NOOO-" *crunch*
>Almost sounded like a pop can getting squished.
>Fucking Planktonshy.