Those sapphire eyes I've come to adore are like an ocean right now.  Tranquil, foreboding, lonely.  Sitting upon this stairwell she's unfamiliar.  I can't catch the blue sparks of steel I know in that gaze.   There's no drive, no determination, just composure - or a masquerade of it.
 
A certain part of me is telling me to go, screaming that I've ruined this too.  Yet, I know I can't.  If nothing else, I will take responsibility.
 
"[I know you don't want to talk.  But we- I- need to.]"
 
Shizune remains still.  This isn't her normal demeanor, but then again this certainly isn't mine either.  "[Look.  I made a mistake.  And I need to tell you, regardless of the outcome.]" I wish I could muster more, but my fingers tremble.  My limbs forged of lead.  Give me a sign Shizune.
 
"[Then speak.  You need not my permission.]" It's not in jest, it's not a cute joke, it's just an answer from a million miles away.  It's not my place to walk away now, I've felt that all too many times.
 
My eyes gloss, I stand here to betray myself.
 
I'm not here to run.
 
"[I took Misha in after she told me of her confession to you.  I was not true to us.  I am sorry I was not more honest, I am sorry I was so distant.]".
 
The stillness is overbearing.  She looks down and takes her left hand and traces unknown and soon forgotten shapes on her knee.  The breeze rolls over the school ground, and any other day would complete a perfect afternoon.  A few affable clouds drift from afar on this gentle warm day, the sun bright beaming though them.
 
Her gaze looks up to meet mine, her eyes that brilliant beautiful blue behind those glasses.  "[I thought as much.]"  I simply stand at attention, biting my bottom lip for what is to come.  Those eyes will light ablaze at any moment, and take me, drown me in the flames.
 
Her signing is slow, perfect characters written in the sky, as if a regal dance that must be respected and preserved. "[I thought I lost the two people I loved most. I didn't know why, perhaps I pushed them too hard, or simply was too cold.]"
 
Every fiber of my body wants to shout, 'No! I made the mistakes here!'.  This is my tribunal though, and this is her time of judgement.
 
"[Misha has changed, not entirely for the worse.  Maybe I lost her, maybe not.  I don't know...]" You chose your words carefully, yet you choose such flourish, yet you leave so much in the air. "[Hisao, you, however...]" She drops her hands for the side for a moment.  Her eyes close.
 
Another breeze crashes against us, carrying daggers on it's wake running me though.
 
She opens her eyes, abandoning the dam against her emotions.  She makes no attempt to wipe what falls away.
 
"[I thought you gave up.  I thought you didn't care...]"
 
I can't help but let my tears roll down my face too, all I can manage is a slow 'no' movement from my head.
 
"[Until this moment.]"  Despite her flushed and streaked cheeks, a small grin crosses her face.  "[But you spoke up.  You're taking action.  You took responsibility.]"
 
She rises from her perch with elegance.  Her arms snake around my neck, and presses her nose against mine.  I embrace her waist and pull her in close.  It's not my place to kiss her, not now, not like this.  Her expression is one of so many things, I love this woman.  This prideful beast, this cunning adversary, this beautiful torturer.  She pulls her head away from mine, but not her body.
 
Her lips open, an animation, not a sound.  I am no lip reader, but I know those three words.