>1947
>I got a case
>It involves horses
>Ponies, specifically
>There aren't any murders in Equestria
>But I'm not in Equestria
>His body was covered in hoof marks
>Humans don't have hooves, last time I checked
>Name's Anon. Anon Fourchan.
>I'm a private detective
 
>Came to the scene of the crime
>Police still investigating the place
>Hard to catch a murderer who's from another world
>And ever since that fiasco in LA, traveling to different world's is complicated business.
>"HEY ANON, FUCK YOU!"
>That was the first thing I heard from my good friends at the crime scene
>They don't like private detectives
>Too cliché
>"Get out of here, Anon. Leave this to the professionals."
>So I did
>Guess I need to handle things my way.
 
>Pulled my horse suit out of the back of my Hudson Convertible
>The ponies here don't take kindly to humans
>Especially since that fiasco in LA
>Smells like shit in here
>Like my work
>I enter the apartment
>"Get out, Anon, the suit ain't foolin' anyone."
>I give her the "cider"
>"How the fuck did you get this, Anon? Damn, you sure know how to treat a pony."
>That was Applejack, she works the front desk now
>Ever since that fiasco in LA, she's been stuck here, getting drunk off of cheap liquor.
>I went up to my contact
 
>I knock on the door
>No answer
>I knock on it again
>No answer
>I break the door down
>"WHAT THE FUCK, ANON!?!?"
>I grab him back the neck and slam him onto the table
>"STOP ANON, I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU!"
>I knee him in the horse balls
>"DAMN IT, ANON! THIS ISN'T LA!"
>I remember this isn't LA
>I stop attacking him
>"Come on, man. I can't get back to Equestria covered in my own blood. You really need to get over that fiasco in LA."
>I'll never get over that fiasco in LA
>"Ok, listen. I think I know who killed that man."
>I slam into him
>He falls out the window
>He falls three stories
>He breaks his neck
>He's dead
>I remember this isn't LA, and I just killed my only contact.
>The police won't look into this for more than a day or two, and no pony would dare try taking a human to court, at least on earth.
>At least segregation is good for one thing.
 
>Go back to my office
>Filthy as all hell
>Which is too be expected from most private detectives
>I'm going over the evidence again, need to think of what to do next
>I don't actually have any evidence
>Then an idea strikes me
>There is a knock on my door
>I open it
>It's the doctor
>He's pissed I kicked him out a window
>Thought for sure he'd be dead
>Maybe the myths are true about him
>He bucks me in the balls
>I fall over
>He bucks me in the face
>I black out
 
>I was handcuffed to a pole
>Horses all around me
>Each one holding planks of wood in there mouths
>One spit his out
>"Just drop the case, Anon, and no one gets hurt."
>I spit on her face
>"Bend over"
>They bend me over
>One of them saunters over with his horse cock fully erect
>This wasn't looking good
>BAM BAM
>The rape horse falls over
>BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
>Each of the ponies falls over, blood flowing from them
>It's my partner
>Faust
 
>Faust frees me from my cuffs
>She's a nice women, for a whore
>"I'm the one that's supposed to take it up the ass, not you Anon."
>I spit on her face
>It's a sign of respect for her
>"Anyway Anon, I got some new info on your case."
>She pulls a piece of paper out of her rectum
>"Follow this address, this new contact is willing to give us some more information on who might have killed our guy."
>I look at the paper
>The Bel Air hotel, Los Angeles
 
>"Come on, Anon. Just get over it already!"
>I'm sitting in the corner, crying.
>"Damn it Anon, I didn't shove a piece of paper up my ass for you to end up like this. You're the best detective I know, and you're not just going to give up because you need to got to LA."
>I run to my car and lock the door
>"Anon, if you don't go to LA right now and solve this case, I won't tell you the results of my STD tests."
>That was enough for me to continue the case
 
>Driving towards LA
>The flashbacks are coming back again
>The fillies being round up and shot against the wall
>The pegasi raping women from the air
>The strange amount of sand on dead bodies
>It was a nightmare
>It literally was a nightmare
>I fell asleep at the wheel and drove off the road
>Drove into the woods
>Found myself in one of those shanty towns the poor live in nowadays
 
>The ponies and humans look at my wrecked car, observing it.
>As equals
>It brings a tear to my eye
>I start my car up
>I run over the crowed in front of me
>Those who did not die on impact go over to help the injured
>I drive my blood covered car towards LA
 
>LA
>The streets are filled with humans
>This part of the city is humans only
>But that doesn't mean there aren't any ponies
>There is one standing on the corner wearing some pretty provocative clothing
>She has an odd look in her eye
>It's hard to make it big in LA if your a pony, easier to sell your body
>I enter the Bel Air Hotel
>I look down at my note
>It only says the hotel, not where specifically to meet him/her
>Shit
 
>A human woman approaches me
>"Are you Anon?"
>I nod yes
>"You're a quiet one, aren't you?"
>I nod yes
>"Anyway, the man who's killer you're trying to find was a part of the BB, the Boarder Board."
>I nod yes
>"Anyone working on that board is basically an enemy to ponies everywhere. And I hear he was particularly racist towards horses. That gets ponies angry."
>I nod yes
>"Are you listening to me?"
>I nod yes
>"I'm trying to help you"
>I nod yes
>"Do you like dick?"
>I nod yes
 
>I got all the information out of her
>I needed to find someone who would hate the BB enough to kill one of its own members
>So basically a pony
>So basically I'm back where I started
>I walk over to the corner and higher the horse prostitute
>On the way to my car, I bash her over the head with a brick and lock her in the trunk
>I drive over to a nearby TV station
>I walk in with the horse in hand
>I interrupt a Newscast and walk in front of the camera
>I whisper in the newscaster's ear
>"If the killer of the BB member does not give his or herself up to the police, this private detective is going to rape this pegasi right on camera"
 
>Hours pass
>No one comes by
>I've already raped the horse
>Just like during that Fiasco in LA
>The newscasters are too afraid to end the broadcast
>no one has tried to stop me
>I'm a good detective
>The phone rings
>Someone picks it up, talks a little bit, and hangs up
>"That was the killer. They said if you don't stop trying to find him..."
LA is going to have another fiasco
 
ACT 2
>1948
>I gave up on the murder case
>Three more members of the BB have been murdered
>I can't bring myself to find this killer
>I can't have another fiasco
>I'm working on the street corner now
>As a pimp protector
>Working with ponies mostly, and the occasional human
>Today I'm protecting someone named Rainbow
>She's a real bitch
 
>We stand on the corner
>A man drives by
>"Hey baby, hows about you and me-"
>I punch him in the face
>"Hey buddy, what the fuck was tha-"
>I punch him in the face again
>"You son of a bi-"
>I pull him out of the car and beat him to death
>The pegasi looks down at him
>"Take his money too."
>I take out his wallet and put it in Rainbow's mouth
>"Fwuck yway"
>We take his car and drive around the city for awhile
 
>We drive off the road
>Drive to a nearby lake
>I pull the wallet out of Rainbow's mouth
>"What the fuck are you doing, human?"
>I push the wallet towards her face
>"Are you...paying me for...you know?"
>I nod yes
>We fuck in the back of the car
>Haven't fucked a horse in a long time
>I snap her neck before climaxing
>Take the wallet back
>I drop the dead body into the lake
>I jump into the lake and wash the juices off of myself
 
>Drive back to my office
>Faust has been renting it out for group orgies
>I love the 1940's
>"Oh hey Anon, I'm about to have my 100th orgy. You wanna be a part of it? It's the least I could do for you."
>I politely decline the offer
>I'm not an animal
>"Well ok, but I got something else for you
>Faust pulls a piece of paper out of her ass
>"I found this taped to the front door."
>I knew better than to ask why Faust would need to shove that up her ass
>I took the paper and read it
>"If you don't stop your crimes against ponykind, a second fiasco will be certain."
 
>I begin to cry
>Faust holds me against her breasts
>"Don't worry, Anon. We're going to get this horse."
>Snot begins to dribble from my nose
>I escape Faust's boob trap and put on my detective atair
>S/He's not going to stop me from doing what I love
>I leave and get back in the stolen car
>I'm going to go to where all the answers lie
>LA
 
>LA
>Pony district
>Poor as hell, but there are no humans here, so the ponies are happy
>I'm wearing my horse suit, so I'm fine
>I approach a muscle bound horse with needles sticking out of his arm
>"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, ANON!??!"
>I say nothing, pretending to be a common horse
>"IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANSWER'S YOU ARE NOT GETTING THEM FROM ME, FUCK FACE!"
>I say nothing
>"I'LL FUCKING BASH YOUR BRAINS IN, DAMN IT!"
>I say nothing
>The pony bursts into tears
>"OK! FINE I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW! THE KILLER IS TRYING TO GET RID OF ALL THE BB MEMBERS SO THEY-"
>A bullet hits the steroid horse right between the eyes
>I turn around, and see the shadow of the sniper as s/he leaves the roof of a far off building
>I gallop towards the building to catch my killer
 
>I gallop towards the building with all my might, but do to needing to use my arms and legs, I easily trip
>As I fall over, the sniper somehow gets out of the building and falls over me
>S/he's wearing a masked mare esc costume (it's like Batman to them)
>I fling my body over his/her body
>My weight is too much for them
>"Foolish detective, do you really think you'll be able to stop us? Are plans are almost complete. And this interference will surly cause another fiasco."
>I crush his/her head in with my own head
>There is a purple horn lodged in my forehead
 
>I run back into the car
>I drive straight to the LA human district police station
>I'm about to tell the whole crowd of police men what might happen, but then I remember something
>I'm terrible at talking to crowds
>"Just get out of here, Anon. You're not a real cop."
>A hear a BOOM outside
>The police rush outside to see what's going on
>Ponies dressed as the masked mare are running around attacking humans
>A massive interdimensional portal has opened up in the sky
>Humans and ponies are being sucked up, ponies going inside the portal, and humans bursting into clouds of blood when they hit the portal
>Horses are raping people left and right
>The police have already begun shooting everything in sight
>Humans are beating horses to death with other horses
>It's the fiasco all over again
>And it's all my fault
>I can feel my fully erect cock bursting out of my loins
 
>I feel a hoof bash against my head
>I fall to the ground
>"I told you this would happen if you interfered, human. Sadly, you won't be here to enjoy it. The Princess wishes to meet you, which means I need you to live."
>I could feel myself floating into the air
>"Goodbye, human. Enjoy your stay in Equestria."
>I blacked out at that point.
>The last thing I heard was...
 
END OF ACT 2
 
ACT 3: THE FINAL ACT
 
>I wake up in chains
>In a dungeon
>Wearing rags
>It's like the fucking dark ages or some shit
>Two pony guards are in front of me
>"You're going to pay for your crimes, Fourchan."
>I spit in their general direction
>"The Princess is really going to like you."
>The open the door, and start leading me out of the dungeon
>I wrap my chains around one of their necks and begin to strangle him
>The other guard quickly stabs my side with his horn
>Forgot about those horns
>Which is funny, since I still have a horn lodged in my face
>I let go of the guard, and let him live
>For now
>They take me out of the frying pan, and into the fire
 
>The next room is bright as all hell
>I'm in a courtroom
>There are ponies all over the place, booing, giving me dirty looks, swearing
>"ORDER, ORDER IN THE COURT"
>It's like they think they're people
>"Please bow down to your supreme ruler, the high and powerful, the great and mighty, the strong and benevolent, CELESTIA!"
>The crowed cheers
>Their leader comes in
>She looks like a real bitch
>"So this is the detective that's been causing trouble for us all? I imagined something greater"
>I flip her off
>"Execute him"
>The crowed gasps
>Celestia looks around
>"UM! NO, WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS-"
>It's too late, the crowds in a frenzy
>People aren't supposed to be executed here
>"Listen my fellow ponies, I'm sorry, I didn't-"
>One pony throws a rock at her
>Pretty soon a riot breaks out
>Ponies are eating each other
>Unicorns stabbing pegasi
>My blood lust boner is getting larger and larger
 
>"YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
>Celestia pulls me into the air
>"YOU AND YOUR FILTHY SPECIES CORRUPTED ME. YOUR RACE OPENED THE PORTAL TO YOUR WORLD, YOUR RACE PERSECUTED US, AND YOUR RACE STARTED THE FIASCO IN LA!"
>I'm not listening, I'm too preoccupied by my mental masturbation at the sight of this bloodfest below
>"You killed my student. You killed her friends. And why? All to solve one case. Do you want to know who killed that BB member?"
>I nod my head yes
>"One of my own spies! I've been controlling this operation this whole time. The regulations on traveling from world to world are too great. I needed those BB members gone so my human supporters could take control and make traveling more open. Is that so wrong, Anon? Is that so wrong?"
>I've already came
 
 
>Celestia throws me into the riot below
>I'm immediately swarmed
>The rush is amazing
>It's time
>I open my third eye
>All of my chakras are opened
>I use my telekinesis to lift all of the ponies into the air, and destroy them from the inside
>"So it is true, you are chosen one"
>I nod yes
>"You were meant to bring the worlds together, but now you only ripe them apart."
>I use all of the horse blood in the room and form it into a giant with swords for hands
>Celestia lights it on fire, but that only boils the blood
>It attacks, slashing her head off
>Her head floats in mid air, and sends down miniature suns to destroy me
>I consume them and fire the flames out of my mouth towards her
>Celestia's head uses those flames to form a giant version of herself, who sends down the sun to destroy me
>The planet is completely consumed in flames
>I absorb the suns heat and send it back into space
>The planet is now a frozen wasteland
>"NO!!!!! WITHOUT THE SUN, I AM NOTHING!"
>Celestia and her beast explode
 
 
>I travel the wastes for 12,000 years, solving cases I made up in my head, rebuilding the world in my image
>I brought humans to the planet, I brought back the sun, I made everything like earth
>I even began to feel bad for the ponies who I destroyed, so I created Equestria once again
>I decided to create one human to unite both of the world together one day, and bring peace between the species
>I gave all of my power to the human, thereby destroying myself in the process
>With my last breath, I named him
>Anon Fourchan
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
THE END