“Okay, let’s turn here.”
>”Anon, is it close?”
“Yep, it is an hour away.”
>As we come, sight of long street opens to us.
“Let me tell you. You have your pony magic, but this place – it was real magic.”
>Metal trash lying around, yellow grass busting out of the tiles, and dirt covering the sides.
“This is Arbat, my friend. Place of true wonders. Formerly, at least.”
>I would have never imagined to see it in that state.
>”What are you-”
“I remember in my youth I often was here.”
>As we move along, I see more destroyed facades of two centuries old buildings, “stalinka”s and disrupted roads.
“You could always find there people. Young musicians, poets, punks, intellectuals – it was welcoming to everyone. This was the place where you could drink with gopnik, punk and skinhead together, while discussing Hegel’s dialectics. That is true magic in my opinion.”
>And it is gone.
>I haven’t thought about that before.
>Well, the major thing I thought about the center last year was father’s fate, but I never thought about Arbat.
>And Prechistinka, so to speak. Sadovaya.
>Yeah, maybe all these politics and snobs died in that explosion, but what about all these wonderful places?
>And my father…
>”I’m sorry, but punks, gopniks… Who are these people?”
>Oh, right.
“I’ll tell you later.”
>”And mind my question, but where are the bones?”
>What?
>”I mean, if there were explosion on your side, and it was in the middle of the day, where are the… leftovers?”
>Her curiosity… No, well, she has right to wonder.
“These explosions were not usual. They had all stuff wrong about them. They like had no epicenter. And from other things, there was no leftovers. All living matter… burned to ashes.”
>Ah, after all these months, it is not that hard to handle yourself on these topics.
“And it wasn’t napalm-like either! If it was like napalm, there would be nt so much destructions of buildings and roads. I don’t know. All these people died, and we now couldn’t even bury them properly. Their ashes are already roaming on the streets with all that dust.”
>”So I breath in dead people… Huh, just like in old days.”
“What?”
>”I mean, before the capture. Not like I battled all my life. Not literally at least.”
“Wait, you said you were stage magician before the war, right?”
>”Yes, what with it?”
“Well, if it place would be intact, you would definitely appreciate it. I tell you. Too bad you can trust only my word on that.”
>As we moved, we approached that one place, which was in this state even before all of this.
“And this is Tsoy’s wall. Her-”
>Here, right where I pointed with my hand, stood a man.
>The client which… wait, it isn’t man, right?
“Vomit face, is that you?”
>Changelling turned to it is true form.
>”Nice to see you both too. Maybe use my name next time?”
“Nah, I wouldn’t risk giving off your name in case I mistaken.”
>Changelling eased anger on his face.
>“So, you did it not from snarkiness?”
“Doesn’t matter. How you got here, and what do you do?”
>”Well, man should have its secrets, right?”
>Trixie move up front and looked at the wall.
>”Have you done these graffiti’s?”
>”Oh no, they were there before.”
“Even before portals opened.”
>Trixie looked more.
>”But how it is still there? I mean, why it is intact?”
“As I said explosion was had all wrong about it.”
>Vomitface gave a glance on sides.
>“Well, if you don’t mind me, I had stuff to do.”
>As he said it, he disappeared. Just like Trixie and shipment when cops were checking us.
“I guess we need to watch our back with types like him.”
>”Not really, Changellings stopped doing wrong stuff to ponies at least year ago.”
>I don’t know what to think about that Trixie’s comment.
”Well, I’m not a pony.”
>Voice from somewhere left came.
>”And I can still hear you.”
 
“Okhotniy Ryad, the next station is Chistiye Prudi.”
>”Could you stop it? And jeez, how much subway there are? We meet one every 10 minutes!”
“Ah, sorry. I just feel kinda nostalgic. You know, it was good times when there were no million of civilians dead.”
>”And could you stop that too? I get your “Russian Tragedy”.”
“Well, if you couldn’t handle it from me, how you gonna hold it on press-conference?”
>”Oh, right, press-conference. Of cour-”
“You want to escape, right?”
>And she thought she could hide it?
>”What do-”
“You gonna escape as soon as we walk in embassy, right?”
>”Why would I try?”
“Look, press conference today gonna be very huge thing, and you just forgot it? I don’t buy it.”
>”Then I don’t need clients like you.”
>Hush, gal.
“Excuse me?”
>”Look, I’m no idiot. I get what will happen if pony that just bought huge Russian company ran off back in Equestria. I’m sorry, but I love my country and don’t want end of ceasefire.”
>Oh, of course.
>”I’m just not used to it, you know? Running company and shit. Last days I even forgot I need to sleep, I needed Vasya to remind it to me.”
“Sorry, I just-”
>”Had trust issues? Oh, don’t need to tell it, I kinda noticed.”
“You must understand that I had all reasons for that.”
>”Ah, don’t mind me. I’m like that too.”
>As we turn around the corner, white wound of the world become seen.
>Behind “Country that doesn’t exist”, restaurant over the road from former Parliament.
>Some things happen just in right places.
>That restaurant is the only part of building that look not fucked up.
>And portal… it shine from where the store was. “Modniy…” Nah, I don’t remember it.
>As we approach, cloud around the entrance shines, and doors open. Lights are working here, somehow, but insides are really empty.
>On walls decorations are in place, but there is only one table.
>Behind it sits two ponies and one… Horse?
>Man, is it hard with these aliens.
>All of them are horned, but bug one has the wings.
>On the right sits stallion with white fur and blue mane, gentleman looking with jacket and moustache and stuff like that.
>On a left sits pink-purple pony with purple mane, in humble dress.
>The big one has the crown, no clothes, pink fur and differently colored mane.
>As Trixie comes in, she rushes to the one on the left.
>”Starlight!”
>”Trixie!”
>As they hug, unintelligible sounds come from them.
>”I worried that you died!”
>”And look at you, you hit high, don’t you, darling! I heard so much stuff about you on human television!”
>”Television?”
>Big horse coughed in her hoof, reminding them the situation.
>Mares released each other from hugging and stood beside different sides of table.
>”We are honored to meet you; I am Mia Amore di Cadenza, Princess of Crystal Empire and Chief Ambassador from both Equestria and Crystal Empire. The other ambassador, on right from me, is Fancy Pants, former Mayor of Canterlot. I also invited Starlight Glimmer, former head of Special Task forces and current head of Alien Adaptation Program. It is first time we meet private agents from Russia.”
>As they bow to us, I bow in return. But not Trixie.
>”Do we really need all these formalities?”
>As all straighten up, Cadenza glanced at both of us.
”Well then let’s get started.”
>Finally, I can let the burden of this case. All these documents and stuff making my shoulder sore.
“I would want to get through all messages that people sent through me to you firstly. Well, this is letter from Moscow State University, they would like to share some knowledge. And this is the artifact they made. It is prototype, probably too simple by your standarts, but I was said that this thing changes color depending on mood of the one who holds it. ”
>”And what does mean green color?”
>Pink pony asks too much from me.
“Look, read the letter later, I don’t know specifics, I’m just making a favor for others.”
>And like this, I got them message from Potanin, which was interested in weather control, like all of us, a word from Macrohard’s Russian chapter, Ministery of Healthcare and many others. Looks like Ministry of Economic Growth really have a lot of connections out there.
“But this all is for latter, let’s discuss our case.”
>Trixie was getting impatient.
>”Mia Amore di Cadenza, why you of all princesses is ambassador?”
>Pony in royal regalia coughed a little.
>”Trixie, I heard some stuff about you from my sister-in-law. And a lot from Starlight. My opinion on your personality is shady, could you please don’t make it worse?”
>Trixie eased her temper.
>”As for your question, Trixie, firstly, I already rule different species. Secondly, I already dealt with Yaks, and it is somewhat similar. And last, but not least, this portal leads to Crystal Empire.”
>After princess finishing her speech, white pony started.
>”I understand that it isn’t really reason for our meeting, but how many other ponies have you met?”
>Trixie turned to the right.
>”Not many. Some Manehettans and Rarity for now, but we gonna search for more.”
>”Rarity? She is here? I… She disappeared far away from front. She is well, right?”
>”Do you have something personal to her?”
>”What do you mean?”
>”I mean message. Do you have any personal message to her?”
>”Oh… no, not particularly. Just send her my own regards and sympathy.”
>Pony on the left stumbled a little.
>”Well, I would like to get some information about human psychology, if that wouldn’t be problem for you, Trixie.”
>Do they even notice me?
>”I am sorry, but can we finally start talking about actual reason of our visit.”
>Pony in regalia narrowed her eyes.
>”Of course. You came up with kinda interesting excuse for human officials. Opening chapter of company in Equestria… Anyway, let’s discuss your future operations and tasks.”
>I’m sorry, excuse? Operations? Tasks?
>”You must misunderstood us, Princess. I’m mainholder of Oilprom, and I came here in that role, not as former soldier.”
>One of eyebrows of “princess” was raised.
>”Former?”
>”Let’s not discuss it, it is not what we all are here for.”
>Pony on the left placed one of her leg on the table.
>”Wait, “Great and Powerful”. Let’s discuss it. Because I don’t remember demoting you.”
>”Well, Starlight, you didn’t, but Princesses did when they stabbed us in a back.”
>Pony on the left worryingly looked and pony in regalia, while white stallion looked aside and covered right side of his face. Silent smile of “princess” froze on place, as her eyebrow ticked a little.
>”What. You. Said?”
>But Trixie couldn’t stop.
>”Ah, nothing, just Motherland forgetting those who fought for it and got captured. You know, it was Equestria who refused trade of captives. Thanks to you, princesses, I had three month of “joyful” interrogations, and even after that you refused to get me home.”
>Smile disappeared from princesses face.
>”Cadenza, I get it is difficult topic with a lot of complications, and I am a little subjective, even though I believe I have all rights to be like this, so to evade shitstorm let’s just drop the theme and do some business, right?”
>Gentleman pony turned back to “princess”.
>”Your Highness, I’m afraid I agree with that brute. Let’s just drop the theme.”
>”Right. My apologies. I thought I was speaking with Equestrian citizen, but I mistaken. So, what does mainholder of Oilprom wants from our humble country?”
>Starlight placed hoof on shoulder of “princess”.
>”Your Highness, she means wel-”
>”Oh no-no-no. If she wants it this way, she will get it that way.”
>Bitterness of Trixie’s face is indescribable.
>”Right. Well, our main topic is declared one – we want open chapter of company in Equestria. I imagine… Fancy Pants, for example. Yeah, he could serve as its head, since he is capable businesscolt, as I remember from the papers.”
“Ah, I’m sorr-“
>”Human, we do not speak with you.”
>That “princess”, let me tell you.
“And this is your chief ambassador?”
>Starlight covered her eyes with a hoof, and “gentlecolt” coughed a little.
>”What do you want, human?”
“Look, you need to understand one thing. If you want real peace and coexistence with us – you need to totally change your economy.”
>”Who are humans so that we would bend t-”
>White colt disrupted speech passage of “princess”.
>”What do you mean exactly? That we should orient more on resources, or industrialize in human manner?”
>”Princess” snarked a little.
“Well, it would be nice to do too, but main problem is not it. Look, I and Trixie stumbled not so long ago on your currency nearby Moscow, and it was traded to us not as currency, but as gold it consists of.”
>”And what is with that?”
”Well, you see, your currency is not based neither on funds it represents neither abstract characteristics like GDP. Your currency is based on cost of its material, right?”
>”Well, yeah, it is good, right?”
“No, it is not. With basics of your economy like that you are non-profitable as partner to Russia, only as a colony. Like it or not, it will lead to end of ceasefire sooner or later. If you really want peace, you want make it profitable for both sides.”
>”And why do you care about that?”
“Well, it would be hard for us to do business with you during the hot war, you know?”
>Princess interrupted the one meaningful conversation we almost started with that “gentlecolt”.
>”What could be more profitable than saved lifes? Why would they want continuation of war?”
“Well, exactly because it would save lives. Russia have a lot of other enemies right now, and Equestria have a lot of stuff to offer against those threats.”
>Starlight again turned her face to “princess”.
>”Your Highness, I assume you invited me to remind you that humans aren’t just “brutes”. Look, I’ve dealt with them on a field, both on front and in civility, and let me tell you…”
>As “princess” looked down, Starlight looked at me.
>”They are a lot worse. They are talentless, egoist bunch that will do whatever it takes to survive. So we get you have troubles, but leave ponies out of this!”
“Well, million of Russians is dead, so it is too late.”
>”What? There were thrice less of your troops we dealt with!”
“So, there where no explosions on our side? Because a fucking proof of it is just outside of this building!”
>White colt nervously scratched his moustache, as Starlight’s vein on forehead bulged. “Princess” lifted her head and looked at me.
>”Why you humans believe it was we who done it?”
“Because who el-”
>”STOP!”
>Everyone looked at Trixie.
>”You know, I will not ask for understanding. Let’s just pretend, for a second, that we want peace, let’s at least pretend we respect each other and that we want prosperity of both ponies and Russians. Just… fucking pretend at least.”
>Well, yeah, conversation went kinda wrong.
>”Mia Amore di Cadenza, we brought some literature. If there is any. Fucking. Economist still in my country, I want you to give him these and let him decide how to change monetary politic of Equestria. Is this okay, Your Highness?”
>”Mind your langua-”
>”I could end ceasefire by just rushing towards portal, Princess. So I fucking repeat, is it okay?”
>”Yes, this sounds reasonable.”
>Trixie gasped out.
>”Okay, sorry, kinda pent up in me. Now, Your Highness, is it okay for us to open Equestrian chapter of Oilprom? Would you consent to it?”
>”Well, I guess there is nothing wrong with that.”
>”Fancy Pants, would you like to be head of equestrian chapter of my company?”
>”I’m sorry, but I’m not specialist on natural resources.”
“It is okay, you will have a lot of assistance, since some fired workers of oil company got enlisted and now are equestrian captives. You will just need to buy them out.”
>”Yes, what Anon said. And company promises to cover these expanses in a month.”
>”Well, then I have nothing to lose, so I agree.”
>”Starlight, my dear fucking friend who turned xenophobe for some reason. Would you provide Fancy Pants with names and addresses of these people and their owners?”
>”Trixie, you are my friend, but…”
>”Okay, I’m going right on the station, see you in Canterlot.”
>As she started walking towards door behind them, Starlight rushed to her.
>”Yeah-yeah-yeah, okay. I’ll do it. Relax, Trixie, we are your friends.”
>”Starlight, the only one of you three who cooperated with us is a colt I haven’t met before at all. So understandingly I’m in a little doubt.”
>”I’m sorry, but I didn’t know. What if this human forced you to act like that? He is your owner.”
“Where we are right know, purple one?”
>She looked at me in wonder.
>”In embassy, duh.”
“Hence, judicially, it is Equestrian soil, right? Hence, I theoretically couldn’t act as her owner. From the moment she stepped in here – she was absolutely free.”
>Starlight looked back to Trixie.
>”I’m sorry if I insulted you. Look, it was all crazy back in Equestria, I couldn’t know what to think.”
>”Starlight, you wouldn’t imagine how crazy it is out there.”
>Heh, that is true.
>”What is funny?”
>Oh, it was out loud?
“Well, you see, Russia from the moment of opened portal is definition of “madness”. You know, after death of so much civilians news started talking about magical horses with serious face… You see, people kinda were not prepared to this. I even remember when a lot of people claimed this was the Judgment day, and ponies are demons from hell. There still are some out there.”
>Trixie laughed back.
>”Look, Anon, as I browsed some internet, it doesn’t look that Russia was the sane place even before these portals.”
“Heh, touché.”
>Trixie returned to my side and cleared the throat.
>”And as that, The Great and Powerful Trixie thanks you for both welcome and cooperation. As that, let’s sign papers and work out details.”
 
“I guess interactions with crimelords kinda did a favor for you.”
>”Anon, why you acted so… Humble?”
“Because I was not the one making a deal. Since it is not really my business, I haven’t pushed.”
>”What do you mean not your business?”
“I mean I washed off my money already. I already gained what I wanted. It is Vasya who is interested now.”
>”And you missed opportunity to deal with them on contraband of artifacts?”
“Well, you see, they still don’t trust us a lot. But in a next visit… I get that getting artifacts from Equestrian Government directly is a sweet pie, don’t treat me like idiot. Plus, there will be problem with actual shipping of them.”
>”And what about that changeling?”
“Yeah, I thought about that too. Maybe. It is not like I will have freedom to act like I want now anyway.”
>”What do you mean?”
“Well, the moment we get back from contested zone, our faces will be in every TV for three days at least. That is why I delegated control of operations to Roller and some others.”
>”Look, the number of money which I washed off… it is ridiculous one. How did you get it?”
“Simple. When Russia stopped assisting Novorossiya after change of government, I was the one who started contrabanding them stuff.”
>Trixie turned to me.
>”What? You make money of war?”
“Yeah, what is wrong with that? Have you forgot what kind of business I run?”
>”It is just… no! The one thing I witnessed – that is one thing, but you support fucking war!”
“And? It gets tons of cash!”
>”Do you don’t care about these people?”
“Why would I? Do they care about me?”
>Trixie opened her mouth and raised hoof, but then closed.
“Look, what do you think artifact contraband is all about? Do you think we sell it to researchers, which find a way to better human life or some shit? No! They are used in fights and drug production of Marinovsky, plus rich sickos who like rare stuff buy it. Really, you sound like a banker from 90’s, who believes that “krisha”s are “golden minds which will save Russia”. And guess where bankers like that ended up? Lying in some fucking woods, probably. And I tell you this only because I kinda befriended you. Of course, it is really early to speak about true friendship, but you are cool chick, and I don’t want to find your body in Phirsanovskiy’s forest after trip to Zelenograd. Be fucking careful. Especially with your tongue.”
>After some silence she humbly said:
>”Thanks.”
“For what?”
>”For “Cool chick”.”
“Oh, nevermind. Here is the car, anyway. Prepare your face for cameras.”