Day Let's Get It On in Equestria
>You are Anon, and boy do you have a prank for Twi.
>Rummaging thru your old earth stuff you think still got it around here somewhere.
>Aha! Perfect!
>You stand over your box with the words "Earth Stuff" written on it.
>And there you have it, fully emerged from a literal beer can pile.
>A human sized horse mask you wore when you got drunk and landed here.
>With everything ready you quickly stuff it away in your jacket pocket and say: "Let's go scare us some Purplesmart."
>You wait outside the cottage taking a deep breath.
>You knock twice and sure enough, there goes Sparklebottom opening it up.
>She looks with a happy smile on her face, it will only make your plan more effective...
>"Hey Anon, what bring you here?" Spurgle says with a smile on her face.
>Trying to contain your excitement you keep a calm voice.
"Just wanted to check out a book." You say in a reassuring tone.
>"Really? Then come on in!"
>You waste no time compiling to that order, and carefully duck your head under the door frame.
>"Need any help?"
"Naw I'm good.
>"Good, then there's a seat for reading once your done." She says pointing to a stool in the corner.
"Thanks Twi."
>After that exchange, you start your 'search' for a book.
>And by search, you mean you just pulled a random novel and sat down.
>Twilight takes notice to you reading and says: "Wow Anon, I didn't think you had a thing for romantic novels."
"Y-yeah sure, astronomy whatever. C-Could you help me with this word?"
>Now donning the mask on your head, you make it your purpose to fully cover yourself with the book.
>"Sure, never thought that you would have a problem with such an easy book."
>The clopping of hooves signal her getting closer.
>You here her stop in front of you, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!
>You pull down the book and reveal your horsy disguise.
>Twilight begins to stutter.
>"Y-y-you, b-but, I uh...
>Behind the mask you are grinning from ear to ear, waiting for her to say something.
 
 
>"SOOOO HANDSOME OHSWEETCELESTIATHEEYESBLARGLRAGL!"
>...Not the answer you were looking for.
>"You-you're like the handsomest thing in Equestria!"
"Uh... Twilight?"
"HE SAID MY NAME!"
>Sweet fucking Cele-uh... god what have you gotten yourself into?
"Handsome... really?"
>"Y-you have the most chiseled chin ever! And the eyes! Sweet Celestia the eyes!"
>This is not funny, you regret everything.
>But it get worst when you see her walking to you.
>"You know, I've always wanted to keep my virginity for you Anon~."
>You see she has thoes bedroom eyes.
>And a very seductive gait...
"Y-yeah uh, thanks, I uh, forgotsomethinginthefridgegottagosanicspeedbye."
>You rush to the door, but just then you see a purple aura surrounding the exit.
>In your rush you smash right through it.
>Purplesmart yelps and passes out from the sudden magical strain.
>Makes you wonder were the hell is spike.
>In your rush to the fresh Ponyville air you made a mistake, a grave mistake...
>You left the mask on...
 
http://youtu.be/YqA_BKFQeL0?t=5s
>Ponies are all staring at you.
>Roseluck jumps out of the crowd.
>"Handsome!"
>Just like that, you're showered with praise and affection.
>Too much.
>They all start crowding you.
"Oh, okay guise it's just a mask calm down."
>They ignore you and continue to gang up on you.
"Okay guise! Stop!"
>More of them start crowding you. Almost smothering you to death.
"Help!"
>Just then a huge light from the sky blinds you and the ponies.
>As it dims to a bright orb in front of you it begins to descend.
>When it lands it disperses and reveals outspread wings.
>They look whi-oh god no.
>The Light flies away with a flick of the majestic wings.
 
 
 
>And there stands her, the princess, the allegory of god, Princess Celestia.
>You must have done something horribly wrong to deserve this.
>The ponies have let up on the assault and are bowing.
>She opens her regal eyes and looks at you. Your blood runs cold at the sight.
>She begins her speech to the crowd, after clearing her throat of course.
>"Ponies of Ponyville! Today we are given the curious sight of anon the human as the handsomest man
in all of Equestria, and now he is the handsomest -pony- in all of Equestria!"
>You would be flattered if you weren't terrified.
>"As you princess I declare that this estrus season."
>Wait, estrus?
>"WE RUT ANON INTO OBLIVION!"
>SWEET JESUS NO!
>The ponies, stallion and mare alike cheer in victory.
>They turn their attention to you...
>You run like a mad man out of there.
>Pegasus fly and unicorns use da majiks!
>All of them chase you down a major Ponyville road.
>Flapping gets close as you hear a familiar voice behind you.
>"C'mon Anon! You can't outrun me, so how's about you let me give you a little -love tap-?"
>It's RD! Her voice is too close for comfort, but you don't dare turn around.
>You see something useful ahead, a trash bin.
>You have to do this while running, it's your only chance.
>You grab it and pull the lid off.
 
 
 
>The sound of flapping grows.
>"You can't beat a sonicrainboom!"
>You turn the can around and point it behind you.
>Just as a pop of colors behind you explode into your peripheral vision.
>*Tunk* You are jettisoned forward by the can containing rainbow at full speed.
>You rocket away at speeds you have never gone before.
>"Ouch!" Yells Rainbow from the inside of the can planted onto your back.
>You turn to see the mob getting farther away at your assisted speed.
>Very little even attempt to follow you.
>You look forward and see a very notable building getting closer. Town hall.
>As you zoom closer the thought strikes you.
>You're about to crash into the building.
>You quickly shift your weight to the side and roll out from the front of the rocket can.
>The aim is just and true as Rainbowtrash flies into the building like a filthy bullet.
>The wall easily gives in at Rainbows speed.
>Your in pain but it won't distract you, you hear galloping and you know they'll be here soon...
>You run into the building's hole.
>In front of you is the main chimney shattered into a bundle of pieces.
>At the bottom is a trashcan with a knocked out Rainbow slumped out. Still breathing, she should be okay.
>You waist no time gathering bricks from the fireplace and barricade yourself in.
>It's dark, all the windows are blocked by bricks.
>Perfect time to take off your mask.
>You tug, pull, and nearly take skin off with it.
>Wondering what's wrong you take close inspection and pull.
>A faint white glow appears at the neck after each tug.
>Fuckn' Celestia.
>Just before you have time to curse the cruel god that put you in this you hear a patter of a bipedal animal coming down the stairs.
>Oh shit, did you lock yourself in with an enemy?
>You put up you dukes as you wait for the guest to arrive.
>A tiny silhouette appears in the dark.
>The light flashes on and blinds you.
>Spike is a the bottom of the stairs with his finger on the light switch.
 
 
>"Hey Anon, whatcha doing here in the dark?"
"Oh thank god! Spike!"
>You've never been more relive to see that lizard before in your life.
>"Wow Anon, you look stupid with that mask on."
"I do? Oh thank the lord!"
>"What's up, is something wrong?"
"Yeah uh... wait how did you get here?"
>"Well I kinda came here to collect a letter from the mayor to send to Celestia. When I got here she wasn't at her office, nopony was. I tried to leave but the town was empty and there was shouting in the distance, I was scared so I hid, and I uh, sort of uh...
"Fell asleep?"
>"Yes."
>This is bad, the townsfolk are scaring the kids.
>Just then you hear knocking on the brick barrier.
>"Anon~ come on~ it's me Celestia, how about you come out so we can rut you politely?"
>The voice is so seductive it almost makes you want to come out, but fear of a snuu snuu based death is driving you to stay.
"HELL NO, YOU OLD HORNY BITCH!"
>"YOUR RUTTING WILL BE TWICE AS LONG FOR THAT! MY LITTLE PONIES, ATTACK FOR YOUR PRINCESSES COOCH!
>With that, a thunderous roar of cheers come from the other side.
>"Wha-what's going on Anon?"
>Spike seems terrified.
>Suddenly you get an idea.
"Spike! I need you to burn me!"
>The wall is about to give in as the ponies heave and slam.
>"WHAT?"
"DO IT, BURN MY FACE!"
>"Why?"
"It's the only way to get the mask off!"
>The bricks are giving in and letting cracks of light seep through.
>He huffs and puffs as the screams get louder.
>He can't seem to get a spark.
>You waist no time grabbing him, putting him to your face, and giving him a big squeeze.
>He lets out a thunderous belch as a torrent of flame goes into your face.
>The wall gives in as you fall to the ground wiping your face to make sure it doesn't burn.
>A golden slipper lands in front of your face as you crouch and stare at the floor.
>You look at its origin and see the dainty princess looking disappointed.
>You can see clearly now, the mask is burnt!
 
 
>All that is left of it are the parts covering the back of your head and neck, along with a little in the front.
>The princess stares at you with detest.
>The crowd notices and groans in disappointment.
>You are banished to the moon later that day.
>At least it's better than.
>Fucking Equestria.