>What in sam hill did you drink? Down here boozing in these backwoods southern taverns.
>Where was your dignity?
>Two pints down the hatch of some home-brewed ale.
>Stallions cross the bar hooting and hollerin across the way.
>Bunch of rednecks..
>You guessed every society had these sorts of red-blooded patriotic simpletons.
>You rubbed your chin..
>Scruff, dirty filthy scruff with the stickiness of.. God knows what..
>How long would you let yourself go like this?
>The bell rings behind you.
>Someone entered, big deal.
>You didn't bother to turn around.
>Some few moments pass and a lovely red lass with an orange cream mane pulls up on the barstool next to you.
>Even in this crowd she stood out.
>Collared necktie and an Amish looking hat.
>Farm ponies, that's all this crowd was, farm ponies..
>"Greetins, figure you're newcomer in town aren't ya?"
"Do I really stand out that much?"
>"We don't get many outsiders comin in very often."
>Figures, you were sure this is about as country boondocks as it gets without actually being in the wilderness.
"Its a.. Very quaint.."
>"Round these parts we're mostly more traditional."
>Traditional, code for stubborn and ignorant, clinging to some remnants of the past.
"I can tell."
>"Did you come to get away from the bustle and hubbub of the city?"
"S-something.. Like that."
>She scoots up closer to you. Her orange eyes hungrily gazing.
>"Even though we're not always blessed with all the modern conveniences, I reckon there's still plenty of ways to have a good time."
>She winks.
"Oh, I see.."
>Thirsty as fuck.
>"Whaddya say we take things back to my place? I'll show you how we do things down here."
"L-look, can't we like.. Take this to the bathroom for a quickie?"
>She say's coyly.
>"Mmmm.. My place or no deal."
>Horseshit..
>You rubbed your forehead.
 
 
"Alright fine."
>"Don't worry, I'll make sure you have a good time."
>Bleh, good time, good time, with any luck she'll take you to the barn and let you nail her on a hay bale.
"Oh, heh, sounds good, uh.."
>You stood up slowly.
>Everything felt dizzy and distorted
"W-woah.."
>You felt yourself nearly fall forward completely but the red mare caught you.
"*hic* Let's get this.. Over with.."
>"Easy does it. Reckon you've had one too many."
>You slogged forward as you leaned up on her as she led you out of the tavern.
>The icy air of the night hit you hard.
"Brrr.. It's cold as shit out here."
>"Stick close to me city slicker, I'll keep you warm."
>Yeah lay it on thick, you already know you're getting laid dammit.
"What's your name farm mare?"
>"Harvestella, and you?"
"Anon.."
>Harvestella, you just took the word "Harvest" and added "stella" to it.. Bitch has farming ingrained in her bloodstream.
"You mind if I call you Stella?"
>"Ok pardner."
"Yeah.. So, tell me about yourself Stella. What do you do to pass the days?"
>"I grow pumpkins to harvest and sell in town. I also make pumpkin pies, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin cakes, pumpkin juice-"
"Ok ok I get it, you like pumpkins."
>"I don't just like them. Pumpkins are my life."
>This dame needs a better hobby.
"Yeeaaah, gee, that uh.. Sounds real.. Swell."
>"Its a quiet life. Living off the land. But I never want for anything more. I make own way in the world. I care for the Pumpkins, and the Pumpkins care for me."
>Marry a pumpkin you delusional broad.
 
"So you live on a farm or something eh?"
>"Yep, big farm. Family's owned the land for generations."
>You wonder if they ever 'owned' anything else. Equestria isn't that sort of place is it?
>You both arrived on her property as you passed a massive pumpkin field on your way to the house.
>House was made of wood.
>You both got inside.
>Wasn't much warmer.
>She led you over to a couch and you sat down.
>"Let me get you some blankets and something to eat ok?"
"Lemmie guess, dinner is something pumpkin related isn't it?"
She dug her hoof at the ground a little.
>"Sorry, it's all I have."
"It's alright, I'm just tired, its been a long night."
>There was a bit of an awkward silence for a moment.
>"I'll uh.. Be right back."
>It was a few minutes alone in the quiet house.
>Much of the living room furnishings and knick knacks looked either handmade or extremely old.
>She came back with a quilt and a bowl on her back.
>You grabbed the bowl setting it on the table and grabbed the quilt pulling it over you lazily.
>The scent of pumpkins from the bowl was delightful.
>You looked over.
>Yellowish orange pumpkin puree was inside.
>"It's pumpkin soup."
"I can see that."
>You took a bite.
>Sweet and creamy.
"Mmm, this is pretty nice."
>"Family recipe."
>Shes smiling kindly at you.
>Inviting you in and feeding you. She's really nice. Hard to remember such earnest hospitality being paid toward you.
>You sink your head sighing.
"Thanks."
>"No problem."
>You chow down on the rest of the soup.
>Your eyes nearly roll up in your head at the pleased sensation of being satisfied with a home-cooked meal.
>You feel the tired sting of the day crash down on you like an ocean.
>There's no way you can fuck her tonight..
"Hey uh, Stella, can we, pick up where we left off tomorrow?"
>"You mean about showing you a good time?"
"Yeah sure.."
>Good time.. Why can't she just come out and say intercourse or sex?
>"We can do that tomorrow, I'll let you rest here on the couch for now.."
>"Ok, goodnight Stella."
"Night Anon."
>She walked off up a flight of stairs leaving you to rest on the couch for the night.