Prologue
>Move out of apartment, into house.
>Small backyard for fluffy pony to play in.
>Have plenty of room now; get 3 more friends for your fluffy.
>Fluffy ponies are never allowed outside without you.
>Keep an eye out for dangers.
>Make sure fluffies don't go exploring outside the yard.
>One day...
>Watching pink mare roll ball around, squealing with laughter.
>Hear other fluffy cheer "Bwirdie!"
>ohshit.jpg
>Turn in time to see a bald eagle slam down on your green stallion.
>Run and try to save, but it's hopeless.
>Eagle lifts off, clutching fluffy pony in talons.
>Fluffy is screaming "Owwwie, owwie! Huwt! No like game!"
>Eagle carries his lunch to a nearby tree.
>Animals caught by eagles usually die horribly, but quickly.
>Not fluffy pony.
>Fluff creates a defensive barrier that eagle must rip through to reach the soft meat.
>Fluffy pony is helpless, screaming in pain & terror as tufts of fluff are ripped out.
>Occasionally, the beak hits meat and fluffy shrieks in agony.
>Neighbors come outside to see what the racket is.
"Is that a fucking eagle?"
>Redneck neighbor offers to shoot eagle for you.
"Shut the fuck up, dumbass."
"You don't shoot an endangered eagle to save a fluffy pony that's already doomed."
>Death seems to take forever.
>Fluffy pony is being torn apart and eaten alive.
>Screaming in unimaginable agony the whole time.
>Kinda feel sorry for the eagle.
>Not much meat on a fluffy pony.
 
1/4
>Fluffy ponies love "outside time."
>Have 4 currently...number varies.
>Have lost a few to fluffy pony stupidity.
>Even had one snatched up by an eagle (that's another story).
>For many reasons, fluffies are not allowed to go outside until back-yard has been checked thoroughly.
>No gaps in the fence.
>No stray dogs hanging around.
>No eagles, obviously.
>All fluffies wearing their collars and tags (you don't make them wear these in the house because they'd strangle themselves).
>Only once yard has been checked can fluffy ponies play outside.
>Fluffy ponies are very stupid.
>Once in a while, not often, one over-eager fluffy will slip between legs & rush outside before safety-check is conducted.
>The rules are harsh, but neccessary.
>If any fluffy goes outside before permission, all fluffies lose outside time for the day.
>This is a crushing disappointment for fluffy ponies.
>This has also created problems.
 
2/4
>Fluffy ponies do understand the concept of revenge.
>First time it happened, other fluffies picked on stupid fluffy who rushed outside and ruined it for everypony.
>Ears, nose and tail bitten.
>Kicked in face.
>Had to rush injured fluffy to vet.
>Too late; had to be put down.
>Vet understood but still had to report case to Fluffy Pony Protection Agency.
>FPPA agent visits later that night.
>Bruno agrees, open and shut case.
>Files report.
"All I do anymore is file reports."
>Put surviving fluffy ponies to bed.
>They seem sad that their friend will not come back but do not recognize their own guilt.
>Offer Bruno a drink.
"I never wanted this life."
>Sit in living room.
>Scotch & soda.
"I wanted to dance the ballet."
>Sad, sad Bruno.
 
3/4
>Bruno gives some good advice on handling the situation.
"If fluffy ponies are group disciplined, you must give the guilty one additional punishment or they will take it upon themselves."
>Bruno is wise; knows much about fluffy ponies.
>Try this myself.
>Two weeks pass with no incidents.  Get new mare during this time.
>One day, single excited fluffy pony forgets rule...rushes outside before safety check is done.
>Outside time is cancelled for everypony today.
>Much crying and whimpering.
>Offender is put in "Sorry Box" for one hour.
>It's not very effective.
>Stupid fluffy ponies can't see offender so they assume he is outside playing.
>Attack him savagely when he's allowed out.
>Rescue him, but this fluffy must be placed in "protective custody" until other fluffies forget his crime.
>Okay...sorry box will not work.
 
4/4
>One month passes before another incident.
>This time new mare squirms between legs and escapes, despite "Daddy" yelling, STOP.
>Not only broke the rule, but disobeyed Daddy.
>Outside time is cancelled for everypony.
>Sorry stick comes out of the closet.
>Don't like using sorry stick.
>Sorry stick is thin and whippy cane.
>Only use on pony butt.
>Fluffy ponies flee in terror at sight of sorry stick.
"No!  All fluffy ponies must watch!"
>Catch offending fluffy pony.
>Hold by tail, lift back legs off ground.
>Exactly as "FPPA Standards of Discipline" manual suggests.
>Crying mare tries to escape, front hooves scrambling for traction.
>"Sowwee!  Neber go outside wifout Daddy!  Pwease no sowwee stick!"
>Using sorry stick, proceed to whip fluffy pony about 25 times.
>Release bawling fluffy pony.
>This time, other fluffies do not seek revenge for losing their outside time.
>Crowd around weeping mare, hugging and giving sympathy.
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.
>Did everything by the book, but call FPPA to report incident anyway.
>Don't want to get branded a fluffy pony abuser.
>Bruno approves of your actions, standard fluffy pony spanking is sometimes neccessary.
>Bruno sounds depressed over the phone.
>Tell him he should take a vacation, follow his dreams.
>One month later, get envelope in the mail.
>One human ticket, 4 fluffy pony tickets to community ballet theater.
>See Bruno in his ballet debut.
>He's awful, but at least he's happy.
>Bruno visits next day to thank you for good advice.
>Fluffy ponies get extra hour outside time.
>Everybody happy.
>Later that night, one swallows a battery and dies.
>Life goes on.