1/3
>Production assistant for Fluff-TV.
>You work on the worst show on the network:  "Babies."
>Just hours of video...birthing, nursing, playing, hugging.
>It's mind numbing work.
>Not as easy as it looks either.
>There's a strict policy; "Babies" never shows an unhappy fluffy pony.
>It upsets your nitwit audience, fluffy & human.
>If a fluffy takes a tumble and hurts his nose, the footage is scrapped.
>A foal cries because it can't find momma's teat? Scrapped.
>Bad poopies? Scrapped.
>Anything bad happens...the footage is scrapped.
>Gotta start all over again.
>So you can't just set up a camera and chill out.
 
>First step is choosing candidates for the show.
>Strays from the shelter work best.
>Ferals are too headstrong, independent.
>Pet fluffies tend to be too spoilt.
>You want fluffies that know how miserable life can be.
>You can always threaten them with a return to the shelter.
 
2/3
>Conditioning is next.
>Start with several dozen mommas & foals.
>You're not planning on using all of them.
>About 75% are "example fluffies."
>Put them in a well lit pen, similar to the TV studio.
>Let the fluffies play.
>If any fight...execute them immediately.
>Yep, you heard it right.
>Doesn't matter who started it.
>If two fluffies get into even the smallest fight you cut their heads off.
>Make sure all the other fluffies see.
>For such dumb animals they learn quick.
>Bad fluffies that fight get the worst owwies.
 
>Crank up the intensity.
>Any fluffy that cries gets killed next.
>All it takes is one mother watching her beloved foal get beheaded.
>"Whhaaa! Why huwt babee? Nuu!"
"Bad fluffies that cry lose their head."
>You better believe the mommas pay close attention to their foals now.
>They don't let foals do anything that could possibly get them hurt...not even a bump on the nose.
>Mommas keep their babies nursing as long as possible.
>They can't cry about being hungry that way.
>Fluffy mares live in constant terror of seeing their foals executed.
>Conditioning proceeds as planned.
 
3/3
>It's been narrowed down to 6 fluffy families.
>These fluffies have been selected and conditioned to be perfect for "Babies."
>Now to get them used to the soundstage.
>Acclimate them to the noises, bright lights and strange people.
>Be super-nice to them for a change.
>This is the only place they get fed.
>Treats, huggies, tickling.
>You want them to consider this a happy place.
>Fluffies are overjoyed to go to the studio soundstage.
>Because their lives are miserable away from the studio.
>You keep them in cramped, wet, rusty cages.
>Loud scary music plays.
>It stinks...litterboxes are rarely cleaned out.
>The hungry fluffies cry for food...they get none.
>Weaned foals are kept away from their mommas.
>No physical abuse, but every effort is made to make them miserable.
>That way they're happy when it's time to go film an episode.
 
>It's a perfect system.
>"Babies" delivers episodes on schedule and under budget.
>On screen, the fluffy ponies are perfectly 100% happy.
>The grand illusion of television.
>It's all about balance.
>You still hate your job.