>There are certain things that you don't talk about. >One of which being your carnivorous inclinations. >It's not that the ponies don't understand, it's just that they don't like it too much. >That and they wouldn't know a good steak from a burnt turd. >Of course, there is someone who understands your pain. >Gilda lets out a happy sigh as she leans back in her chair and pats a clawed hand over her stomach. >"You know, for a squishy critter, you sure cook up a mean side of beef." "And for a bird, you're certainly not a picky eater." >The two of you exchange looks and a quick laugh as you clear the table. >It had started off simple enough, Gilda had been flying by one evening when she caught a whiff of you cooking. >In her usual, gruff manner, she'd swooped down, fully intending to snatch your meal. >Only she never expected to get laid out on account of a clothesline. >After a bit of back and forth banter, you'd agreed to share a meal in exchange for some company. >She'd reluctantly agreed. >It was a quick meal, and she took off without so much as a thank you. >But the next week, she was back again, sniffing around and looking for a free meal. >You'd obliged, of course, and she'd been a little more open before heading off into the wild blue yonder again. >This back and forth continued for months, and now it was something both of you were able to look forward to. >There was no real way around it, you two were a match made in heaven. >Just, one problem. "Can I get you a beer?" >Gilda waves a claw in your direction. >"Yeah, sure; just make it a light, will ya? Dash said I looked like I was getting a gut..." >She's sweet on her best friend. >Or ex-best friend. >To be honest, Gil's never really been clear on their relationship. >You oblige her anyway, letting the can roll across the table to her.   "Yeah, well, I don't think it's the beer that's putting on the pounds." >The gryphon snorts and averts her eyes, trying not to look embarrassed. >"Shut up, dweeb. You shouldn't be so good at cooking." >In spite of your ribbing, she still seems self-conscious, eying her slightly swollen middle even as she clutches the can in her talons. >Seeing your buddy in this state, it's really taking a toll on your heart. >With a sigh, you finish your beer and take her free claw in your hand. "Come on." >"H-hey!" >Gilda stumbles after you, chugging her beer quickly before tossing the can over her shoulder. >The two of you make your way through town with Gilda hobbling along beside you, grumbling the entire while. >Ponies stare, but you don't care. >There's business to be taken care of. >It doesn't take long to find her; even in a world of bright colored ponies, her multi-color mane and tail make her stand out like a sore thumb. >Cupping your hand to your mouth, you shout up at the cloud she's resting on. "Hey! Rainbow!" >There's a hiss and a snort, the cloud turning to smaller puffs of condensation as Rainbow Dash jerks to alertness. >She quickly swoops down to the ground and trots over to you, a smile on her lips. >"Hey Anon!" >A momentary pause as she sizes up her friend. >"...Gilda." >The two engage in a little bit of glaring back and forth. >A quick snap of your fingers puts a stop to that crap. "Dash, we're getting ice cream, you in?" >Gilda gives you  confused scowl, you know she's not a fan, but seeing Rainbow's face light up seems to convince her. >"Omigosh, DO I? I've been waiting forever to get ice cream with you!" >Or maybe not. >You see Gilda flinch out of the corner of your eye, but offer the blue pegasus a smile anyway. "All right then, just the three of us."   >Slinging an arm around both girls, you force a laugh and strut your way towards Sugar Cube Corner. >The Cakes are more than happy to serve your little gang, though they do keep a wary eye on Gilda. >As Dash chows down on her creamy delight, you give your gryphon galpal a nudge in the side. "I'm going to hit the head, make your move, got it?" >The beaked beauty nods before shifting awkwardly as you get up and make your way to the bathroom. >Five minutes ought to be enough time. >And so you wait, squatting on the toilet as the seconds tick by. >At last, you get up and make your way back to your slightly melted frozen treat. >Only, something's amiss. >Dash is leaning over her stool, shooting eyes at you. >She bats them out of sync with one another as you approach. >"Hey there, monkey man..." >Despite your desire to help Gilda, the fact that Rainbow was able to drop her already low voice another half step caused a twitch in your pants. >Speaking of... >You glance around and frown as the gryphon is nowhere in sight. "Dash, where'd Gilly go off to?" >Rainbow leans out further and offers up a big smile. >"Well, I asked her if she would be willing to give you and me some time alone together. See, I've been thinking..." >Your mind drifts as Rainbow rambles. >Clenching your fist, you try to contain the frustration that's threatening to boil over inside of you. >How can she be so stupid? >She probably turned Gilda down without even hearing her out. >That's the worst thing someone can do. >The. Worst. >Setting your lips into a scowl, you refocus your attention on Rainbow as she comes to the end of her monologue. >She's red faced by this point and tapping her hooves together as she struggles to meet your eyes. >"So, that's where I am... h-how do you feel about me?"   >Glaring at her for several seconds, you finally cross your arms and roll your eyes. "You're a real piece of work, Rainbow." >The color drains from the blue mare's face as her eyes grow to the size of dinner plates. "I can't believe you would do that to your friend. To me." >You can see tears threatening to spill out of Dash's eyes already. >Good. >Maybe this will get her to rethink her priorities and actually listen to people... ponies... gryphons when they talk. >"But... But, Anon, I-" >Lifting your hand, you shake your head and turn away. "Not interested in hearing any more. Good night, Rainbow Dash." >And with that, you storm out of the Corner, leaving the blue mare with a lesson you hope she'll take to heart. >The trip home is frustrating, but your heart swells a little when you see the door ajar. >From inside, you can hear the sounds of quiet sobbing and the occasional hack of distress. >Making your way through the hall, you come upon Gilda in front of the fridge. >She's got half of a sausage link still stuck in her craw as she looks up at you, tears stinging at her eyes. >"S-Sup dweeb?" >You sigh and kneel down next to your feathered friend. >It's all the invitation she needs. >Gilda throws herself at you and begins sobbing into your shoulder. >You hold her close and whisper quiet assurances into her ear. >It's the least you can do after being an insensitive jerk. >After a few snorts, she coughs. >"S-sorry about your meat..." "S'cool, don't worry about it." >No big deal. >You'll help her clean up later. >But with your back turned to the window, you fail to notice the burst of blue that passes by the glass. >Dash hovers in place for a moment, taking in the scene before sneering and launching herself back into the sky. >She closes her eyes tight as she whispers under her breath. >"What are friends good for anyway if all they do is hurt you?" >Relationships are complicated…   >Things are slow down on the farm. >Slow and easy. >Except for the women. >...Girls. >Mares. >Whatever. >You are Anonymous and for the past six weeks you've been hoeing your hindparts off in an attempt to earn the attention of one Applejack Apple. >She always looks at you funny when you call her that, but you can't figure out why. >Still, all your attempts so far to get close to the blonde beauty have fallen short. >But, like the seeds planted in the earth, patience rewards those who tend to it with good fruit. >Or something like that. >You slouch against the fence running around the perimeter of the garden and give a tired sigh. >Applejack chuckles and shoots you a playful look. >"You look plumb tuckered out, pard'ner. How about you head up to the house and grab yourself something to drink right quick." >Ah, the kindness of a southern belle >Doing your best to hide your embarrassment, you wave her off and shake your head. "Applejack, please. There is still so much for us to do today, I couldn't possibly take time off to..." >The hurried hooffalls of the farm pony echo in your ear as she moves to your side and gives you a firm nudge with her head in the direction of the house. >"Well if you won't go on your own, then this is me sayin so as your boss: Go get yourself a drink. The orchard can wait a couple minutes." >Why is she so perfect? >Bobbing your head, you leave the slightly sweaty mare behind and trudge up the hill to the house. >Granny's going to be there, preparing something or other. >She'll give you a smile and ask you to sample supper. >Your stomach gurgles in response. >Yeah, a break sounds good. >But as you make your way up to the house, there's a loud cry from behind the barn. >"Darnit, Babs!" >Applebloom. >Picking up the pace, you hustle over to the big red structure and look around for some sign of the cousins.   >Sure enough, the dynamic duo is a swollen knot of limbs and torsos as they struggle and kick against one another. >A long strand of rope ties them together, and the squirming only seems to force it tighter. >"This wouldn'ta happened if you hadn't tried to cross over!" >The mare from Manehatten huffs, shooting a sour glare at her cousin who doesn't miss a beat and puffs out her cheeks >"Yeah? Well if you'd kept the rope spinnin at the same speed as me, I wouldn't have tripped in the first place!" >Scratching the top of your head, you grumble to yourself for a moment before moving over to them. "Hey girls." >The two fillies stop struggling and fix you with a bug eyed stare. >Applebloom's jaw drops as Babs is quicker to collect her wits. >"Uh, hey dere Anon. You mind helpin us get untangled from this mess?" "Yeah, I suppose I can do that." >Kneeling down next to them, you find a loose end of the rope and begin to weave it back and forth through the girl's legs. >Despite their attempts to remain still, they laugh and squirm as a couple times you cut too close to their sensitive hooves >Still, within a minute they're untangled and back standing again. >Slapping your hands against your pants, you stand and smile. >With that out of the way, it's time to get a drink and get back to AJ. "Well, I suppose that's that. Now if you two ladies will excuse me-" >"Um, Anon?" >Great, Applebloom's got that look in her eyes. >The crusading look. >You try not to appear put off, but continue smiling at the girls. "What's up?" >The cousins exchange glances before turning back to you. >"We was wonderin" >"If you'd, ah, watch our new routine." >Uh oh.   >You've been here before. >If you don't come up with an excuse quick, you'll be roped into watching them fall all over each other for hours. >Wait... that's it! >Grinning, you squat down and put yourself closer to the fillies "Well, I'd like to girls, but Applejack needs my help." >First comes the pout. >Then the big sad eyes. >And the simultaneity, "Awwww!" >Before they can launch into their counter offensive however, you bring up a finger and give them a serious look. "But, I was thinking that the two of you might try to get your cutie marks..." >Their eyes light up as they lean in closer, waiting for you to share your infinite wisdom. "In wrangling." >Applebloom's excited expression quickly drops into a scowl. >"Anon, me and the other girls tried that already and not a one of us got a lasso cutie mark!" >Ah, direct hit! >Your mind whirrs as you consider your options. >Twisting your head, you look at Babs. >Foreign >Manehatten. >No real farm experience. "What about you?" >The darker filly's eyes widen in surprise. >"Wh-what about me?" "You ever fooled around with a lasso before?" >Babs shakes her head and you quickly turn your attention back to Applebloom. "What was that about all the Crusaders trying and failing to get a cutie mark in wrangling?"   >There’s a momentary pause before Applebloom snorts in frustration and gives a heavy sigh. >"Well I guess so. I don't really like back trackin but Babs deserves just as much of a chance to try as we had." >Applebloom's face lights up again as she picks up the lasso. >"C'mon cousin, I'm gonna teach you how to string me up like a wild pig, haunches in the air and all!" >A quick flash bursts through the back of your mind of little Applebloom with her snout in the dirt, legs tied close together and rump reaching high for the sky. >Sweat suddenly begins pouring down the back of your neck as the two girls turn back to you. >"You gonna come watch, Anon?" >Gulping for air, you avert your eyes from the jailbait juniors and stammer out, "A-A-Applejack. Drink. Uh, bye." >Without waiting for a response, you hurry around the corner and into the house. >The sooner you get back out to Applejack and focus on her again the better. >Stupid crusaders…