>Well isn't this a familiar feeling?
>Good old Floor
>Always there for you in your time of need...
>Solid, understanding, steadfast Floo-
>There's a hoof poking you
>”...Anon?”
>You're drunk
>”Anon?”
>You're dreaming
>”Ahhhhh...Hell...Tahderus...”
>It's poking harder
>”Please be awright...”
>You cobble together your senses enough to look up and answer
Ugh...Wheah in the hell am I- Oh...
>The room comes into focus
>Celestia is stooped over you, her hoof jabbing your side worriedly
>Slowly, a smell wafts over you that you didn't notice when you first came in
>...Beer?
...Princess? The hell's goin' awn 'eah? Is- Is that...
>You heave yourself up on your elbows and look past the princess to the keg of Guinness behind her
>She turns around to see what you're looking at before whipping around, eyes wide with terror
>”...This...isn't what it...looks like?”
1/x
 
>You sit up, astonished
>There's a long, excruciatingly long pause
>By now you've recovered enough that you can actually take in what's going on
>You look at the room around you
>There's the bed, some tapestries, crystal ball thing, Red Sox 'B' tapestry, ru-
>You stop
>Slowly you turn back to Celestia, who avoids your gaze
>You narrow your eyes
...What's that 'B' mean?
>”Nothing, er...Gift from, uh...B..oar..dor...”
Uh...huh
>You get up and walk to the tapestry
Because it looks wickit famillyah
>She shifts her weight nervously and you see the front of the hoodie for the first time
>”D.K.M.” written in a shamrock
>Your hand flies up and you point at the Princess
What'd ya think a' the last album??
>”Huh?? No! Wait!”
What's special about Two Thousin Faw?
>“I don't know!”
What's the right way ta eeda lawbstah?
>”It's not what you think!”
How much tomata do ya put in clam chowdah?
>She twitches
>”None! New Yawk chowdah ain't cho- dammit!”
2/x
 
>You realize that you're staring agape as the Princess sighs and rubs her temples
>”Faaaaaaaaack...I shouldn'a gone all-out screwin' wit ya...”
>She looks over at the crystal ball, which has gone dark since you burst in on her
>You remember the song you heard when you came in
...Were you lissning to what I think you were?
>Celestia's backed into a corner. She looks on the verge of freaking out
>”Promiss ya won't go nuts on me?”
>You think for a second
>The food at dinner, the outburst about New York, the accent...
>It's clear without her saying it
...Yer from Boss'n...ahncha?
>The Princess of the Sun is sitting in front of you in a goddamn Dropkick Murphys hoodie with a keg behind her and a look of utter defeat on her face
>You're too confused to freak out
>Too baffled to really do anything more than look at her dumbly as she sighs, gets up, and pours a beer from the keg
>”You can't tell anyp0ny about this, Anon. Please keep this ta yuhself, aight?”
>You just nod as she levitates a cup over to you
>”...Drink?”
Gladly. But why keep it a secret? I wuh you I'd be damn prouda bein' Boss'n bawn
>She smiles faintly
>”It's not that simple. P0nies found out about this...at best they wouldn't take me serisly and at worst... well...”
I gotcha. Bad news. Ya got my word as a fellow Bawstonian, Princess. I'll keep it on the DL. But I gotta ask: how in the hell ah YOU from Boss'n?
>”I think that's a stahry fuhnuthuh time...”
>You see her look at the crystal ball again
>”But, uh... 's long as yuh heah....”
>She scoots close to you
>”...I wouldn't complain havin' a pahtnuh lissning ta tha cawnsit...”
...What cawnsit...?
3/x
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O2XeoKczHY
>She smirks as her horn glows and the ball gleams with magical energy
>You hear a familiar hum of accordion and your eyes go wide as the room fills with music
>Celestia is mouthing along with the words and nodding her head slightly as you turn to her
No fakkin' way...
>The princess looks at you like you're stupid
>”...How many times I gotta admit it?”
Not that...is that a recawding?
>”Nope”
>There's a long pause where the only sound in the room is coming from the crystal ball
Yawh tellin' me that you've got a live-fakkin'-feed from the Dropkick-fakkin'-Murphys cawnsit playin' right now?
>”Sure do”
>You turn back to the ball and take a large gulp of beer
>You're not even going to question how she got the Guinness at this point
>It's too much as-is
Well fack me... Guess I'll stick around, then...
>The Princess seems in lighter spirits now that she knows you're not going to flip out
>You raise your cup to her
Happy Saint Paddy's Day, Princess
>”Call me Celestia. Happy Saint Paddy's Day, Anon”
>You tap the glasses together and each take a drink
 
>About an hour later the show wraps up
>As Celestia's horn glows and the crystal ball darkens, the sounds of the audience fading out, you look over at her
.>She meets your gaze and you see...something play across her face
>”...I'm sahrry fuh back at dinnah...”
>Her head is held low and she looks up at you apologetically
>”Jus' it's been so long since I've seen someone else from Boss'n-”
-That ya let ya gahd down ta screw wit me a lil?
>”I guess...”
Hey
>You put your arm around her shoulders
I'da done the same
>She laughs and pushes you off
>”It was fun, though”
4/x
 
>The two of you sit on the floor laughing
>You tell her a story about you and some old friends back home
...So the kid stahts mouthin' off about Schilling bein' a hack pitchah. Schilling! And so I'm like, “this kid must be nuts!” And get this, whole fakkin' bah comes down on 'im. Danny stahts yellin' stats at 'im like a fakkin encyclopedia, Molly goes inna this whole tirade 'bout A-Rod bein' a shitbag...
>You sigh, looking back
...Best Eastah evah. 'Course that was the yeeah they got tha Pennant 'n won the fakkin' Series. Showed those smug-ass New Yawkahs who's boss that yeeah...
>Celestia's eyes light up at the mention of the 2004 Series
>”3 games down an' they pulled it back...God, Luna was pissed that day”
Yeah, I'll bet she w-
>You stop yourself
Wait, what?
>She claps her hoof over her mouth and curses silently before speaking again
>”Fuhget I said that. Shit, she's gonna be all ovah me fuh this...”
>There's another pause in which Celestia just looks at you nervously
>The clock chimes to let you know it's 4 AM
>You yawn tiredly
>”Well disastah 'side, tonight was fun... You'll prolly wanna get back ta yuh room, though. G'night, Anon”
Huh? Oh, sure...
>You get up and walk over to the door
>”...Yuh goin' back to Ponyville in the mawnin, right?”
Yeah, train's at like...ten
>She looks genuinely disappointed
>”Aight then. Have a safe trip, Anon”
Thanks, Pri- Celestia. G'night
>The door clicks and locks as you step out into the hall and start walking back to your room
>It's been a weird night, but that's not really a bad thing, you don't think
>You get to bed with the concert playing in your head on repeat
5/x
 
>Next morning you're awoken by the thrum of magic lifting the covers off of you before flipping the mattress, and you, onto the floor
>”Anon! We've been waiting for you at breakfast for a half hour! We have a train to catch in...”
>Twilight looks at the clock
>”Three hours, twenty minutes! Get up!”
>You blink a couple of times to get the sleep from your eyes as you groan
Faaaacckkkkk... My head...
>”Complain later, Anon! We're already behind schedule with breakfast!”
>You remember hazily what happened last night...
>Did that actually happen?
>You did drink A LOT with Rainbow and AJ...
>”And you're lucky that Princess Celestia is running late today, or you'd be in real trouble! Missing breakfast with royalty! Do you even care about following the proper protocols here?”
>Celestia's running late?
Ugh... aight, aight, jeez, Twi. Cool yuh jets fra seckint. 'll be down in a couple minutes...
>She snorts, frustrated, and turns to walk out
>Seriously, that mare gets way too uptight when it comes to Celestia, timing, schedules, books, work, planning...
>You stop yourself before your train of thought starts making you question this friendship
 
>Your friends are seated at the large table in the great hall, eating from large platters of eggs, hay bacon, cereal, and every other kind of breakfast food you've ever seen
>The big chair at the head of the table is markedly empty. You sit down next to Rainbow Dash and heap a pile of eggs and home fries onto your plate
>She digs at your side and snickers
>”Man, you really got Twilight bent outta shape, Anon. She was sitting here earlier and I thought she was gonna have a conniption!”
>Your reply is interrupted by fanfare
>”Her Majesty, Princess Celestia!”
6/x
 
>The Princess looks tired; like she didn't get a very good night's sleep
>She's squinting a little in the bright morning light as she sits at the head of the table
>”Good morning, my little ponies”
>She turns to Twilight
>”I trust your stay was enjoyable, my faithful student?”
>”Yes, it was perfect, Princess! Thank you so much for the rooms!”
>”Good. I hope you all have a safe trip home later today”
>Celestia is doing a good job keeping that warm smile on her face
>She levitates a load of eggs to herself before looking around the table, her eyes coming to rest on a platter of biscuits and a bowl of gravy
>”Anonymous, could you pass me that dish, please?”
Sure thing, Ce-
>You catch yourself and look around for a second
...Princess. You want the gravy too?
>”Please”
Aight, here ya go
>Twilight is eying you, looking nervous
>The plates move down the table to the Princess, who takes a few biscuits and then dumps a load of gravy on them
>Someone's nursing a hangover, you think
>She must have been celebrating Saint Patrick's Day pretty hard before you showed up
>Twilight goes back to picking at her plate
>You eat your breakfast ravenously, looking up periodically to locate more food to pile on your plate
>The rest of the morning goes by uneventfully. Celestia addresses the p0nies before heading to the main hall to begin her daily duties and your group leaves for the train station
7/x
 
>A week later
 
>You're sitting on your porch idly plucking at your banjo's strings when Twilight comes up the path
>Deja vu...
>She's got a scroll floating along next to her, surrounded in a violet glow
>”Anon? You've got a letter”
>You put the banjo down and look up
A lettah? Why didn't Derpy deliver it this mawnin?
>”Because it's from the Princess”
>She floats the scroll over to you and watches intently as you open it
>”What's it say?”
I'm readin', Twi. Gimme a sec
>>”Dear Anonymous,
>>I hope this letter finds you well. Not knowing your address, I've sent it through my faithful student Twilight Sparkle with instruction to pass it along to you. Now to business: one of my advisors on the Canterlot High Council has resigned and his seat is now vacant (Don't get your hopes up. You're nowhere near qualified for that job). However, being that you are one who seems to have a fresh perspective on things, I put forward the following proposition:”
...like you ta come ta Cannalot as an auxilliary advisah... housing provided... start immediately...
>You look up from the letter
This a joke? Is that even a real friggin' job heah?
>Twilight is staring at you in shock
>”What?? Let me see that!”
>Her eyes fly over the letter and you watch her grow more and more astonished
>”Celestia wants you...YOU...to be one of her advisors? Preposterous! You've got no qualifications! No history! You can't just get a government job like that!”
Apparently I can...
>She looks worried now
>”...Are you thinking about taking it?”
It's a good deal, from the looks. Pay'll prolly be bettah'n what I'm getting' from construction anyway
>”But... what about all of us?”
...I'll sleep onnit
8/x
 
>The next day
 
Whadda you think, Rainbow? Twi seems against it, but I'm not shuah... I mean, 's it really like I can just refuse an offah like that? From tha Princess?
>Rainbow stuffs a cupcake in her mouth and thinks
>After she finished it she speaks
>”I dunno, man... I mean, you've got all your friends here in Ponyville, but if you really want that job working for Celestia, you gotta take it”
>That's not extremely helpful
>Last night you stayed up until 5 thinking about what to do
>Your friends are all here in Ponyville; it'd be hard starting over in Canterlot and leaving them all behind...
>...But you feel...drawn...to Celestia now that you know how she really is
>She's could be a kindred spirit; something comfortably familiar...
>”-You know, you can always visit us. Just don't go and change on me, Anon, and you'll be just fine”
>You sigh and look at your plate of cupcakes
>”Anon?”
Ya know what? Yuh right, Dash. 's not like I'm goin' away fuhrevah. I can visit any time I want
>You look out the window
I think I know what ta do now. Get the othahs 'round heah tuhnite. I'll let 'em know what's happenin'
>”What're you gonna do in the meantime?”
Meantime? I got a lettah ta write
 
>You get home and pull out a pen and paper
>If Celestia really is who you think she is, then you know you're making the right decision
>>”Dear Princess Celestia...”
End