Hello new friend. My name is Ditzy.
The words you hear are on the Fritzy.
I say I said my name is Ditzy.
And I've been...
Very Derpy.
 
The story I'm about to tell
I tell you I will tell it well
Is of my dear good friend, Apple J
And just how I've been...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
Voilà! the farm. My friend lives here.
With precious pup and brother dear.
My heart beat fast as I drew near.
I felt so nice...
and Deeerrrpyyy.
 
I thought just how excited they
Must be that I would come today.
They'd shout, "Come Ditzy! Huzzah! Hoo-ray!
My dear boy, you look so...
Deeerrrpyyy."
 
That's when my tired eyes beheld
A doggy dog! Like dog she smelled.
D-O-G is what he spelled.
And that's how I spell...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
Alone was I, with tender Winona.
And all her fur, her fur is thar,
Which, I say, did push me far
to be quite...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
It was a day I'll not forget;
The day I first met my pet.
Oh, what a lovely gift to get.
I'd never felt so...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
My fuzzy friend is what she was.
This darling little ball of fuzz.
And, oh, such fuzz, such fuzz, it does
Demand that I be...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
She looked at me, her fetching eyes,
And fetching fur did hypnotize,
I filled with joy, I filled with sighs;
And that was when I got...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
Her dripping hair, this droopy mane,
Unfolds sweet memories of a whining pain.
With tresses oh, they twist and twain.
And tempt me to be...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
Rarity, that mare was named;
And her fair quaff , a mane so tamed;
Until one evening, I'm ashamed,
I got a little...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
The look upon my friend’s dear face
Was sweet as lace!
But in this case, I realized she
Needed space.
I never more was Deeerrrpyyy.
 
Well... maybe not never.
 
Dear Win, your fur and fleece remind
Of nothing found in p0nykind.
But for one stallion, who did find
Me, to be in a certain mood.
Into my shop he walked one day,
With bush above, and beard bouquet.
"He wants no cupcake," I prayed, "No way."
I could help but be... You know...
 
I'd never seen such hair before!
His bangs, they sang! His neck, it beckoned!
Eyebrows, hoof heels, all were reckoned!
Soon, I figured, what the heck!
And that's how I was...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
Then my landlords did presume
To free me from that porcelain tomb,
And ferry to a private room,
Your hero, ever dotty.
 
Goodbye, dear friend. I'll miss your farm.
And Big Mac's ebullient charm.
And farewell Winona; what's the harm,
If I was slightly...
Deeerrrpyyy.
 
With Love, Ditzy.