Spy In Equestria - A totally funny anon idea that I ran with. You shouldn't take it seriously at all. I don't.
 
>Be spy
>Arrive in equestria
>Meet rarity
>"Dahrling! You CANNOT imagine how Long I have waited for someone with an Iota of class to arrive here!"
>Get to chatting
>She diggin' the french accent
>Tells absolutely pointless joke but you laugh for politeness anyway
>End up snorting so loudly it echoes throughout the Carousel Boutique
>"..."
>She kicks you out screaming something about disgusting lower class yadda yadda yadda.
 
>Good job spy. you blew your only ever chance at getting a girlfriend.
 
 
>Decide to visit local joints around ponyville
>come to some local bar
>You usually don't hang around such establishments but everyone knows that strong alcohol cures every kind of sadness
>Walk in
>There be every p0ny in ponyville
>no.fucking.way.jpeg
>You glance around the room, spotting almost all the other mercenaries.
>Scout getting busy with RD
>Pyro showing off his Flamethrower to a very excited pinkie pie
>Sniper moralizing about his profession to Twilight
>Engineer and Applejack yapping away in some incomprehensible southern babble
>Even heavy is busy enjoying himself as two unknown mares admire his enormous figure.
>"My my Mr. heavy... your just so... big..."
>"I KNOW. IS AMAZING WHAT RED PILL MOTHER FEED ME AS BABY CAN DO FOR ARMS."
>"I'm pretty sure thats not the only thing thats big~"
>"OOOHH! YOU WANT TO SEE MY GUN. IS VERY BIG."
>Heavy proceeds to pull out his minigun
>A irritated look crosses the mares face.
 
>You leave, unable to comprehend the mass of shit your life has become.
>Walking down the street at what must be late at night
>You sit down with your back next to a building, negative thoughts racing through your head
>A small shadow is cast over you by the arrival of a p0ny.
>It opens its mouth and speaks in a soft, whisper-like tone.
>"Don't worry mr. Spy. I'll help you... uhh... get rarity back!"
>"You know. if thats okay with you..."