Suzu Branch
 
"With classes over for the day and most club activities winding up for the semester, the long process of pre-holiday cleanup has begun. With most of the track club members having fled using various terrible excuses, a half dozen of us are left to finish the job.
 
"That said, we make good progress even with the reduced manpower. A couple of students are dedicated to organising the mess in the storage shed, and another to fossicking around for litter. Equipment collection duty ended up assigned to Hisao, Haru, and I, though I can't remember agreeing to it."
 
mik "Haru, stop being a moron."
 
har "Hmph. Kids these days just don't understand good fashion."
 
"He reluctantly plucks the large orange cone off his head after pouting a little, stacking it on top of the others before picking them up and heading for the shed. Satisfied that he's pulling his weight, I reach down to grab another running block off the track. It's dull work, but the sooner we get it done, the sooner we can leave."
 
"With Hisao being so uptight, I'm surprised he didn't call Haru out. Righting myself and slipping the block into the bundle held in the crook of my other arm, I glance around to check what he's up to."
 
"I'd expected him to be distracted with his own work, but instead, he stands a good few yards away bouncing a soccer ball he's found on his head. Doesn't look half bad at it, either. Occasionally he tilts his head this way or that, sometimes bouncing the ball on his shoulder or foot, but he never seems to need much concentration to do so."
 
"Rather than yell at him to cut it out, I decide to let him be. He deserves what little enjoyment he can still get from his old hobby, even if he can't play for real any more."
 
suz "He's enjoying himself."
 
mik "Woah!"
 
"I nearly drop my whole bundle in startlement at the voice suddenly piping up to my right. The girl simply stands there looking at Hisao with her usual disinterested face, barely acknowledging the jump she's given me."
 
"Wait... has she been waiting until I was alone to approach me? Her timing sure feels coincidental."
 
mik "What's up?"
 
suz "Just bored. I see you're keeping yourself busy."
 
mik "There was something I wanted to tell you, though. Dad invited me home to spend the holidays."
 
suz "Are you going?"
 
"I just shrug."
 
mik "Might've been funny to see how Hisao dealt with country life, but nah."
 
suz "It's not like you to pass up a chance to tease him."
 
mik "Oh no, I've been caught out."
 
mik "But seriously, I like going to your place. It's our last summer holiday together, so I wanted to spend it with you and your family."
 
"Though that brings the question of what I'll do afterwards. I'm sure as hell not taking up the family business, but I'd get eaten alive trying to enter any of the bigger universities."
 
"Suzu's marks might not be fantastic, but she's bull-headed enough to have a good chance at the exams. Hisao... well, he'd probably do fine no matter which university he tried for."
 
"The boy himself finally notices our staring, dropping the soccer ball and kicking it towards the shed before walking over."
 
his "Hey, Suzu."
 
his "I can take some of those if you need a rest."
 
mik "C'mon, who do you take me for?"
 
"I reach beside me and firmly grab Suzu's blouse, hand gripping the back of the neck. With a slight grunt I pull my arm upward, the slight girl following."
 
"The act is made a little harder than usual thanks to her being beside me, but I manage to get her a good couple of inches off the ground, her feet hovering in the air. Being a little short and having no muscle to speak of, her low weight makes Suzu easier to manhandle than some weights I use."
 
"Her head just hangs drearily, with no effort on her behalf to try and escape from my grasp. Given the difference in our strengths, even with one of my arms occupied, she knows all it'd do is make this look more ridiculous."
 
mik "See? Still good to go."
 
his "Are you really okay with her doing this to you, Suzu?"
 
suz "You get used to it."
 
"Hisao just sighs. If she really didn't like it, I'm sure she'd say so. Perhaps she enjoys being my plaything from time to time, given that it's one of the few things we can do together."
 
"That might be wishful thinking, though."
 
"Haru emerges from the shed and begins to head over, with Suzu beginning to swing her legs as he does. Taking my cue, I gently lower her back down to the ground. Other than adjusting her uniform back to her liking, she doesn't seem perturbed."
 
har "You're going off at me about not working, and here you lot are horsing around."
 
"He's not very good at feigning frustration, but that's more due to his personality than ability in acting. He's the type that's hard to imagine being angry, or even particularly serious, towards anyone."
 
his "Fine, I'm going. Miki?"
 
mik "Yeah, I-"
 
suz "I have business with her."
 
"Suzu's sharp rebuke takes us all off guard. It's odd to hear such an authoritative tone out of her."
 
"Shrugging in deference to her instructions, I pass the bundle of running blocks to Hisao before leaving with her. Neither of the two seem to mind as they get back to work with the others."
 
# timeskip
 
"A mighty yawn rings out as we descend down the hill into town, a good stretch loosening up my muscles a bit."
 
suz "Tired?"
 
mik "Just bored as shit. Thanks for bailing me out, there."
 
suz "You only agreed to get out of work, didn't you?"
 
mik "Duh."
 
suz "You have the worst work ethic."
 
mik "Least I'm not a terrible person like you are."
 
suz "Where did that come from?"
 
mik "I was thinking about what you said about Hisao. How I only invited him out of pity."
 
suz "Isn't it true?"
 
mik "No, and I think that the fact you think so says more about you than me."
 
mik "You gotta stop being so cynical about people. Sometimes others do have their fellow man's best interests in mind."
 
mik "Maybe this kind of thing is why you don't get more people hanging around you."
 
"Rather than protesting the point, she simply sighs and turns away. I don't really get it; she usually doesn't mind when I take a harsh tone with her."
 
"That said, I'm not willing to retreat from the point, either. After we graduate, she isn't going to be able to rely on my company. Hisao was a first good step out of her comfort zone, but that isn't enough."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With a deep bow, Yuuko takes her leave after setting down our drinks. A coffee for me, and tea for Suzu."
 
"After that conversation, there wasn't really much for us to say to each other, the rest of the walk down being in silence. Unusually, it's her who speaks first."
 
suz "Do you really think I'm a bad person?"
 
"So she was dwelling on that comment. I suppose it is normal to be wounded by such a comment."
 
mik "Don't look at me like that..."
 
mik "Look, maybe I was using a little bit of hyperbole. I like hanging with you, don't get me wrong, but you have to learn to trust others."
 
suz "I got used to Hisao."
 
mik "That's good, but you need to do more. Be more proactive. Put yourself out there."
 
suz "You make it sound so easy."
 
mik "It is! People aren't hard. It's like a snowball; once you talk to a couple of new people, you'll get more used to it and strike up conservation with a few others. Keep that going, and you'll be fine with talking to whoever you bump into."
 
mik "There's a whole world of people out there, Suzu. So what if you've had to deal with a few assholes, just move on and change the crowd you hang with."
 
suz "What if I'm fine with the crowd I have now?"
 
"Struck out by her monotone reply, I fall back and scratch my head to try and work out a new approach."
 
"We really are two totally different people. She knows Hisao, and she knows me. Two people. How can anyone be happy with that number of friends? How can you just shut yourself off from a whole world of other new and interesting people, each with their own life story, interests, and personalities?"
 
"Introverts are weird. Time and time again, this girl reminds me of that fact."
 
"Exasperated, I throw my hand up in surrender and let it fall on the table."
 
mik "So what's up, anyway? It's not like you grab me out of the blue."
 
"She moves to speak, but quickly brings her hand to her mouth in order to more carefully consider her words. I wonder if she's picking that habit up from Hisao."
 
"Before long, she places both hands in her lap and forces out what she wants to say."
 
suz "You might have helped me find words for this."
 
suz "You said I should be more proactive, right?"
 
"Oh, she's going to suggest something? I quickly lean forwards in interest, but her upper body moves back as far as my face has moved forwards."
 
"As if I'd stolen the words from her lips, she suddenly goes silent once more."
 
mik "C'mon, what is it? Tell me! Tell me!"
 
suz "You're like a child..."
 
"I grin in full agreement. All it does is make her quickly turn away. Something's with her today."
 
suz "Just... put your arms out in front of you."
 
"Without any reason not to, I obediently do as she asks. My hand lies palm-down on the table, with my stump laying beside it. I'd probably feel a bit antsy about people staring like this, if there were anyone hovering around."
 
mik "Okay, now...?"
 
suz "Now close your eyes."
 
mik "What?"
 
suz "Just do it."
 
"She's starting to look flustered. Given what she's telling me to do, shouldn't I be the one feeling put off?"
 
"Regardless, I give a sigh and close my eyelids. She's not the type to pull magic tricks, nor the type to do a dumb prank, so all I can do is wait for whatever's coming in darkness."
 
"Seconds pass. The Shanghai's pretty quiet today, now that I think of it."
 
"A long, shakey breath comes from before me. One soft hand presses to the top of my own, and the tips of her other fingers settle on my stump."
 
suz "...Don't make me regret this."
 
"Regret what? What's she planning to-"
 
"My eyes flash open in shock as realisation dawns on me, but it's far too late."
 
"A set of lips press to mine, soft and trembling. Suzu's body cranes over the table to reach me, her own eyes closed as she presses her mouth to mine."
 
"All I can do is close my eyes in response."
 
"My heart stops. Everything around us falls away. Even my feelings of shock and startlement seem to disappear. My mind is emptied, save for the feeling of those lips pressed to mine."
 
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say, or what to do. All I know, is that the life I, no, we, had led until just a few minutes ago... has disappeared forever."
 
 
END CHAPTER 1
 
 
"I wonder how long it's been since Suzu missed a class. At least a good few months, I think."
 
"Carefully scheduled naps, along with her meds, allow her to drag her feet to class every morning. Even if she sometimes doesn't quite last out the whole day, she makes damned sure she's at least present and accounted for."
 
"But that's Suzu all over; she tries hard at every little thing she does. I've no doubt that it makes me look a lot worse in comparison, though to be fair, I've been skipping class pretty rarely in the last year."
 
"Mutou drones on with yet another lecture, but even as we scrawl in our notebooks, it's obvious people's minds are elsewhere. It's the last day of the semester, after all. I can't help but glance over at the empty desk beside mine every now and again, as if she might suddenly be there the next time I look."
 
"Why she's missing is hardly a mystery. I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about how it happened, and it must no doubt be much worse for her. Suzu might be stubborn as a mule, but even she has her breaking point."
 
"I barely even register the bell signalling the start of lunch, only beginning to shuffle out of the classroom as I see the other students moving past me."
 
"Filing into the hallway with those who'd rather escape the stuffy room rather than chat and eat at their desks, the thought of what I should eat floats vaguely into my mind. Bread, I suppose. Cheap, and I could easily force it down."
 
"A hand grabs my shoulder, gentle, but firm. I turn to face its owner, but I know who it is without even looking."
 
his "Hey."
 
"His expression, a thoughtful but carefully rehearsed cheerfulness, is the norm for him. It drops the moment he sees my face, the dots all too easy to connect."
 
his "Are you okay?"
 
mik "I'm fine, I just... didn't get much sleep last night."
 
"I scrunch up my face and pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to pull myself together. This is the result of just one night's bad sleeping; I can't imagine the kind of sleep deprivation Suzu must feel every day."
 
"As I look back at Hisao, I can see he wants to say something but doesn't quite have the will to do so. He's a nice enough person, but the way he so often visibly thinks things over before speaking irritates me."
 
mik "What is it?"
 
his "...Come with me."
 
# timeskip
 
"The cafeteria is humming with activity already, but the two of us thankfully managed to score a free table by getting in before the rush."
 
"While Hisao farts around getting food for the both of us, I try to work out what he knows, and what he doesn't."
 
"I wouldn't call him an idiot, but Hisao isn't particularly sharp when it comes to others. That said, he and Suzu have been around each other a fair bit lately. Not that she's the talkative type anyway, even with her friends."
 
"He's far from the assertive type, too, yet dragged me here of his own accord. There's no doubt about it; The way Hisao's acting today is out of character. I shouldn't be so immediately suspicious, but..."
 
his "Here."
 
"He sits a juice box and a large piece of bread in a wrapper on the table in front of me. Mangling the thin plastic before finally getting it open with my hand and teeth as he takes a seat, I shovel the bland-tasting bread into my mouth for simple nourishment."
 
"I hadn't realised just how hungry I'd gotten, the food almost evaporating as I take mouthful after mouthful."
 
"Looking to Hisao, he's stopped as he was about to start on his own, instead opting to watch me pigging out. Whether it's in amusement or startlement, I can't say."
 
"I rip off a large chunk of bread before forcefully swallowing it and setting the rest down, my curiosity getting the better of my hunger."
 
mik "So, what'd you drag me all the way here for?"
 
his "I was just wondering if you knew why Suzu wasn't in class today. And why you're in such a state, now that I've seen you."
 
"I take a long breath as I think back to when it all happened. I have to tell him, as much for my sake as his."
 
"I quickly glance around me to make sure nobody's listening in."
 
mik "Can you promise not to tell anybody about this?"
 
his "I promise."
 
"Anyone would say that. I believe Hisao more than most, though."
 
mik "Suzu..."
 
mik "Suzu confessed to me yesterday."
 
"He lets out a long, drawn-out breath, almost seeming to deflate as he sits back and stares at the table ahead of him. It takes him a while to formulate a response beyond scratching the back of his head. I can't blame him."
 
his "I wouldn't have picked it. The fact that she..."
 
mik "Yeah. I didn't know either."
 
"We both sit in silence for a bit to mull over our interactions with her. Sure, she never came out to either of us, but she's a private person about practically everything. She's distrustful of others, too, though not without reason."
 
"It's impossible to work out whether she was dropping hints, or actively trying to hide it. Let alone whether she was hiding it because she feared our reactions, was worried about word getting out, or was simply confused herself."
 
"In any case, she never told me, and obviously didn't tell Hisao. She doesn't talk with anybody beyond us, so the next question is how long did she keep this bottled up inside of her?"
 
"Hisao is the first to speak, breaking my train of thought."
 
his "How did you react?"
 
mik "I... I guess I didn't."
 
his "Huh?"
 
mik "I just mumbled how we should get back to school, and the two of us walked back. That's all that happened."
 
his "Miki..."
 
mik "I was confused, alright!?"
 
mik "I had no idea that was coming! I didn't even know she-!"
 
"Hisao quickly waves his hand downwards to make me lower my volume. I quickly do so."
 
mik "I didn't even know she liked girls, man. We've been friends for over a year, and I never had a bloody clue."
 
mik "I thought things were going well, and now everything's completely messed up..."
 
"Here I was thinking I'd managed to keep my emotions under control, but even as I speak, I can feel a lump forming in my throat. It's one thing to mull all this over in my head, but saying it to someone else is a lot harder."
 
mik "What am I meant to do?"
 
his "To be honest, I'm not really sure. You do need to answer her, at least."
 
his "Please don't take this the wrong way, but: are you scared of giving her an answer because you're confused about your feelings, or because you don't want to hurt Suzu by rejecting her?"
 
mik "The first."
 
"He gives a nod, satisfied with the answer."
 
his "I guess being the same gender does make that harder. It's not really a position I'd want to be in."
 
mik "It's not really that. How should I put this... there's a difference between getting off on that kind of stuff, and a relationship."
 
mik "I mean, I like looking at girls as well as guys. I can appreciate a girl's body, you know? But that's pretty different to this."
 
mik "I'd a lot less freaked out if it was anybody but Suzu, to be honest. It's like everything I knew just got turned upside down."
 
"I think to myself about what I'd just said. I think I'm happy with that explanation. Hisao nods as though he understands, but that's only half the story."
 
"Why would Suzu be interested in me, after all? So she's into girls, sure. A surprise, but plenty of people out there are. Why me, though? She isn't like Hisao; she's known me at my worst, not just as I am now."
 
"It's just baffling on every level."
 
his "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be much help with this. I don't envy you, that's for sure."
 
his "But in a way... what you're saying makes me kind of glad."
 
mik "I'm glad someone's happy."
 
his "It's just good that you're thinking this through. I don't think it's controversial that you can be pretty rash sometimes."
 
mik "Prick."
 
"We both smile, deciding to move on. He's not wrong that he'll be of little help in my decision, but just getting this off my chest has helped a lot. With the shock wearing off, it's easier to think clearly about everything."
 
his "Are you still on for visiting Suzu's home during the holidays?"
 
"I briefly think before giving a shrug. Neither of us said anything about the visit being cancelled or otherwise."
 
mik "I guess so?"
 
his "Then you're going to need this sorted out by then. Holidays start tomorrow, and Suzu deserves an answer."
 
mik "I know, I know."
 
"A deadline would help, now that I think of it. Something to force me into making a decision. I carefully go through the year's events and holidays in my head, soon coming to one that'd be perfect."
 
mik "Tanabata's soon, right?"
 
mik "Yeah, I'll have an answer by Tanabata."
 
his "That sounds good. Should I tell her that?"
 
mik "Sure. I'd tell her myself, but..."
 
his "I understand."
 
"So that's my deadline. Whatever I decide, I need to be careful about how I proceed - Suzu is a fragile person, and moreover, I don't want to lose the only female friend I've ever had."
 
"She really is a troublesome girl."
 
 
 
END CHAPTER 2
 
 
"The air is pleasantly cool tonight, with a gentle breeze and cloudless sky. You couldn't ask for better weather, given the occasion."
 
"The sleeves of the bright red kimono hide my missing left hand pretty well. At least it's useful for something; the fact that I can barely move in this thing reminds me why I don't like wearing them."
 
"The sandals, too, are terrible. Given the tight fabric around my legs and the danger of putting a foot wrong and slipping out of them, there's little option but to take dainty little steps. Clothes like this make you act ladylike, whether you want to or not."
 
"After putting Shizune and Misha through the trouble of doing my makeup for me and helping me put on the kimono, plus paying actual money to get my hair done, Suzu had better appreciate this."
 
"I run my hand through my hair, partly to take in the feeling of how smooth and silky it is thanks to the barber's careful work, and partly to distract myself. I've taken care not to move around suddenly or work up a sweat, so everything should still look about right. Hopefully."
 
"Walking down the path towards the park where we'd agreed to meet, the crowds get bigger as bigger as I near the main festivities. The scent of grilled food wafts in the air, as does the faint perfume of passing women."
 
"It's a nice atmosphere, with people cheerful and happy as they walk along the path brightly lit by paper lanterns and stall lights. The pavement, trees, and everything around me almost seems to glow as the multicolored lights dance off them."
 
"Following the stream of festival-goers, the backs of two familiar figures come into sight ahead of me. One in his dorky sweater, and the other in a cute kimono of her own."
 
"As I walk up to the two of them, it's Hisao who notices me first, having glanced back to see if I was coming. He gives a smile as he taps Suzu on the shoulder to turn her around."
 
"And then... we meet."
 
"I open my mouth to say something, but the words catch in my throat. It takes me a couple of tries before I give up saying anything casual or witty, instead giving some pathetic excuse at my own expense."
 
mik "Guess I was a bit late, huh?"
 
his "It's fine. Going by the looks of you, I can see why you took a while."
 
his "I'd never have guessed you could be so ladylike."
 
mik "Don't get used to it."
 
"Hisao snorts, but my attention soon shifts to Suzu. She simply looks at me, still, silent, and unassuming. With her hair carefully groomed, hands daintily pursed in front of her, and cheeks rosy, she looks like a dainty doll. It's only now that I notice the cute little clip in her hair."
 
"I feel my chest tighten as I stare at her. Suzu's always been an oddball, but for once, I feel like we have an understanding that we've never shared before. The look in those eyes could only possibly be one thing."
 
"Nobody's ever looked at me like that before. I don't know why I'm so awkward about it; this is what all the fuss over how I looked in front of her was meant to achieve, after all. Despite all the time we've been friends, she's finally managed to leave me speechless."
 
"So this is how it feels like to hold someone's heart in your grasp..."
 
"The movement of Hisao draws me back into the real world, the sounds, smells, and bright lights around us suddenly reentering my conciousness. We both look on as he quietly turns and begins to walk away."
 
suz "Where are you-?"
 
his "I'm going to run on ahead and have a poke around the festival. Enjoy yourselves."
 
"He gives a churlish grin as he waves goodbye, skipping backwards with his hands in his pockets before blending into the thickening crowd ahead. Hisao might make for a mightily dorky cupid, but he's done alright. I owe him for this. We both do."
 
"And so.... we're alone."
 
"I quickly begin to walk forward, or at least, as quickly as the kimono's tight wrapping around my legs allows. Suzu's mouth practically quivers as she tries to work out what to say or do, but I know she's not going to come up with anything."
 
"Moving past her, I take her hand in mine as I go, not looking at her nor saying a word. Shes not the only one stuck for how to act in this situation. All I know, is that right now I'm the one who has to take the lead."
 
"Hand in hand, the two of us walk side by side into the heart of the festivities. The noise and laughter levels off as we enter, with people busying themselves eating food, playing games at the stalls, and chatting with their friends and partners."
 
"Being two girls limits how intimate we can get, but right now, it doesn't really matter; Just holding hands is intense for both of us."
 
"Suzu's hand feels soft, far removed from my rough and poorly cared-for skin, and her fingers lightly clutch at mine. They're warm, and only now do I notice the slight scent of perfume."
 
"Just a few days ago we were friends, yet now she acts as a lovestruck maiden. Is it because she'd always held these feelings for me, and just stuffed them down until now? Or is it desperation, a frantic grasping at something precious that she feels might fly away at any moment?"
 
"It's a little sad, in a way. Right now she appears more fragile than ever, and it's all because of me."
 
"I spot a toffee apple stall a small distance ahead. Longing to break the silence and help the girl enjoy herself, I decide to use her sweet tooth against her."
 
mik "Want a toffee apple? My treat."
 
"This is where she should be giving me some probably deserved snark about how much I ask her for money. Instead, all she can manage is a subdued nod."
 
"I give a sigh as I lead us to the counter, taking my hand from hers to remove my purse. You pick up a few tricks after being one-handed for so long, with the stallowner raising an eyebrow at how efficiently I flick a few notes from my wallet using the same hand that's holding it."
 
"I can't say I share Suzu's taste for sweet things, so after buying one and handing to to her, I thank the stall owner and take my leave."
 
suz "Thanks."
 
mik "It's fine."
 
"She begins to lick at her sweet, but only after reaching out her hand. I take it without question, and the two of us continue onward."
 
"Suzu's grip is looser than before, which I count as a small victory. While I appreciate her reaction to me being all dolled up, the last thing I want is for her cataplexy to play up. Besides, the calmer she is, the easier things will be."
 
"As we move from stall to stall, I keep an eye out for anything that might be fun to do. Little by little her toffee apple whittles away as we walk, the food making the silence between us a little less stressful."
 
"Despite my scanning around, it's Suzu who finds something first."
 
"She might not have said it, but the way her gaze lingers on a stuffed panda is unmistakable. A quick glance at the stall it's sitting in shows it to be a game involving shooting some cups arranged in a pyramid with a cork gun to win a prize. Simple enough."
 
mik "Wanna try it?"
 
suz "The gun thing?"
 
mik "Yeah."
 
suz "You just want to shoot something, don't you?"
 
"That's more like it. Her sardonicism, both in her voice and her expression, are for once a welcome sight."
 
mik "Yup. You can keep the prize."
 
"I drag her over to the stall, and ask the owner what the prices are. A handful of yen for three shots is reasonable enough, so I fork over a few coins to the frail old man sitting on his tatty fold-up chair."
 
"Suzu patiently stands back as I take the gun from the counter, testing its heft and loading the cork before shaking my left arm upwards to draw the sleeve away from my stump. The owner looks more amused than shocked as I take up position, pressing the stock to my shoulder and resting the barrel on my uncovered forearm."
 
"The stance works well at stabilising my aim, even if I can feel the glances of a few passing people on me. A tall, tanned girl in a bright red kimono taking aim with a bare stump where her left hand should be would look pretty weird."
 
"I silently will myself to hit the center cup of the pyramid that's been carefully arranged. This is my chance to look super slick in front of Suzu, and although she's trying to hide it, she really wants that panda. I just need to concentrate, and..."
 
"The trigger gives little resistance as I pull it, the cork leaving the gun with a soft pop. With that, I lower the gun a little to see the result."
 
"I needn't have bothered, as the sound of plastic cups falling to the ground is perfectly obvious. It was only just enough force to do it, but the pyramid toppled over with a single shot."
 
mik "Yes!"
 
"I don't even get a chance to put the gun down before I find a pair of arms wrapped around me, my stump reflexively coming around Suzu's back as she wraps me in an excited embrace."
 
"I can't wipe the dumb grin off my face as I rest the gun's barrel against my shoulder. I must look so cool right now. The coolest."
 
suz "Thank you!"
 
mik "Piece o' cake."
 
"The old man reaches to his side and quietly rings the little bell to signify a winner, knowing that any verbal congratulations would pale compared to her reaction."
 
"I look to him and nod to the bear as the prize I want, Suzu gently breaking off as he comes over with the stuffed item. She gives her earnest thanks to the man, the gun replaced on the counter as he passes it into her eager hands."
 
"We take our leave of the stall hand in hand, my own in her left, and the bear in her right. I can't help but smile at her as she inspects her new friend, glad to see a childish side of her she so rarely allows to be seen."
 
"I'm pretty comfortable in calling tonight a success already. It's difficult to get past Suzu's mental reflex of avoiding emotions, but she's finally letting herself go. There's still a chance of cataplexy, or a sudden bout of sleepiness, but we'll take that as it comes."
 
"A trademark whistle echoes across the air, everyone's eyes suddenly turning to the bright green streak of light slowly chasing upwards into the night."
 
"The first firework of the night explodes with a thunderous clap, its bright payload filling the sky above with vivid sparkles. A collective whoop resounds from the crowd, a few children begging to be raised onto their parent's shoulders to see."
 
"Everyone begins to move at once towards the main viewing area a good distance ahead. Like two rocks in the middle of a vast stream, Suzu and I find ourselves surrounded by a flow of people all moving towards the one direction."
 
suz "We're going to miss the fireworks if we stay here!"
 
"Her hand breaks from mine as she runs ahead as fast as her getup allows, clutching her new panda to her chest."
 
"After a moment's thought I quickly take chase, outpacing her with little effort."
 
"The moment I reach Suzu, I push my arms forward and bring them over her shoulders to take hold of her. She comes to a dead stop the moment she feels my body pressing to her's, her arms dropping to her sides."
 
"She way she stopped so suddenly, without a single word being spoken, shows her lie. She never truly pushed the thought of her confession out of her mind, instead trying to distract herself the entire time. It's the sort of thing she'd do."
 
"The two of us stand still for seconds, maybe minutes. I lose track of the time as we stay there, the area around us slowly draining of people as everyone leaves the stalls to get the best view of the coming fireworks show."
 
"And then, it starts."
 
"One by one, the little rockets shoot up into the sky, exploding above into all different colors of the rainbow. The view from here isn't so bad, the glow of the paper lanterns and the haphazardly run strings overhead doing little to block the lightshow above."
 
"I carefully rehearsed what I was going to say to Suzu just for this moment, but it's all completely gone. No matter how much I try to remember those words, they never come back."
 
"Well, whatever. Rehearsing a lovely little speech doesn't suit me anyway."
 
mik "I'm proud of you, Suzu."
 
mik "Here I was thinking I was the one with all the guts, but in the end, it turned out to be you."
 
mik "I'm sorry for not giving you an answer until now. I... had to sort out a few things in my head, I guess."
 
"I take a long breath and close my eyes. I can't take back the next words I'll say, but I know I have to speak them."
 
mik "You're a good girl, Suzu. You don't deserve a terrible person like me."
 
mik "But if you really do like me... then I'll walk beside you. Wherever you go, I'll go. Wherever I go, I'll take you."
 
mik "I'll go out with you, Suzu."
 
"I always thought confessions were supposed to make your heart race... but mine feels completely at peace. Things will change, but I know that this is what I want. Suzu deserves happiness, and if I can give that to her, then I can be truly happy as well."
 
"Her body shudders a little, making me step back."
 
"As she turns to face me, her face is a delicate mix of disbelief and hope. All I can do in response to that delicate face, its owner looking more fragile than she ever has, is give a reassuring smile."
 
"Without regard for anyone around us, she closes her eyes and lifts her chin just slightly, standing on her toes. By now everyone's left for the fireworks display, the two of us standing alone in the bright lights bathing the path."
 
"With one hand on her left shoulder and my forearm resting on her right, I close my eyes and gently lower myself towards her."
 
"And so, I press my lips to those of my precious Sleeping Beauty."
 
 
End Chapter 3
 
 
"Suzu, Hisao and I make our way along the city street after leaving the train station, the bright summer sun beating down on our heads and the sea's salty smell wafting in the air."
 
"It's a nice atmosphere here. When I first learned she lived in the city, images of Tokyo and Osaka flashed to my mind, but instead it ended up being a fairly relaxed place bordering the ocean. It isn't a surprise why Suzu's family decided to make their home here, rather than living in the middle of the big smoke."
 
"A couple of distracted seagulls resting on a guardrail take flight as we stroll past, squawking in protest."
 
mik "I'm telling you, you didn't need to buy those."
 
"I point to the small box carried by Hisao, the confectionery shop's cheery logo adorning the plain white container. He raises an eyebrow as he adjusts the duffel bag of clothes and meds carried over his other shoulder."
 
his "Is it so bad to offer a gift when visiting someone?"
 
mik "When you're coming with people who've been before, it's a bit much."
 
his "I'm just being polite. I know this might be a foreign concept."
 
mik "There's a fine line between good manners and brown-nosing..."
 
suz "Would you two stop fighting?"
 
mik "Yes, mother."
 
"The shimmering of heated air above the road ahead is broken up by a car whizzing past, with a pretty bright red sportscar following soon after. While the attention of Hisao and I is drawn by the latter, Suzu's mind is elsewhere."
 
"I put my hand on her head and give it a little rub, partly to reassure her, but mostly because I just wanted to. Given that she doesn't protest, I assume she likes it."
 
"It is good to see her in higher spirits, though. The last few days must've taken their toll on her emotionally, but she seems to be largely back to normal. Well, Suzu's normal."
 
his "Is there going to be anybody there when we arrive?"
 
suz "Miyu would be, at least."
 
his "Miyu?"
 
mik "Yeah. She's cute; I think you'd get on well with her."
 
his "That sounds like you're trying to set me up."
 
mik "We'll see."
 
"Suzu grimaces, but I manage to hide my reaction. I can't miss a chance to screw with him like this, after all."
 
"The three of us finally come within sight of the Suzuki household; a modern and fairly spacious two-storey house, nestled in the kind of suburb that aspires to look wealthy, but isn't quite there. Suzu's sister must be home, as her little white car is parked neatly in the gravel driveway."
 
"Looks like they've done some painting since the last time I was here, with the white walls and brown beams painted cream and black respectively. That modern, minimalist look is getting common these days, but I can't say I like it."
 
"We march through the gate and up the stairs to the entrance in single file, Hisao's gaze flitting around to take in the carefully cultivated greenery in front. Suzu just looks ahead, taking the lead of our merry band."
 
"As she digs around in her handbag for her housekeys, the door swings open. A familiar figure rests her arm on the doorframe, taking in the sight of the trio before her."
 
tsu "Well, well. Look who we have here."
 
"Suzu's sister has always been easy on the eyes. Overall, she's about my height and blessed with quite a pretty face, adorned with a set of thin glasses. That, and her smart ponytail, give her an air of maturity that contrasts heavily with Suzu's youthful nature."
 
"Her plain and slightly tattered grey hoodie is an unmistakable sign that she hasn't ventured outside the house all day, probably being busy with some project or another. Her welcoming expression is undoubtedly sincere, though it's always felt like she's just a little too old to socialise with us beyond being polite."
 
"I assume Suzu's notified her of the hastily invited additional guest, as she doesn't look surprised in the least."
 
suz "Mom and dad out?"
 
tsu "That's not how you should greet your lovely sister..."
 
tsu "But yes, they're still at work. They should be back for dinner."
 
"Suzu nods, expecting the answer. With that, the conversation turns to other matters."
 
tsu "I see you've brought the troublemaker around."
 
mik "That's not fair! Since when did I cause you any trouble?"
 
tsu "Since I had to format my computer after letting you use it for five bloody minutes?"
 
"I don't have a comeback for that. The Internet is a scary place sometimes."
 
tsu "I'm just being mean. How are you getting along these days?"
 
mik "Some old, same old."
 
tsu "I see you picked up a stray somewhere along the way. You must be Nakai?"
 
his "Pleased to meet you, Miyu."
 
"I hastily try to stop myself from snickering, but it's useless. She just smiles as she levers herself off the doorframe, by now wise to my antics."
 
tsu "It's Tsubasa. Tsubasa Suzuki."
 
his "Ah... sorry."
 
tsu "I have no idea why anyone hangs out with you, Miura."
 
suz "I wonder that myself all the time."
 
"I just grin, content that I've had my fun. Trying to hide his embarrassment, Hisao quickly offers the sweets to her."
 
"Tsubasa's face lights up as she takes the box, quickly popping the top open to check on its contents. If there's one thing the Suzuki sisters share, it's a sweet tooth."
 
tsu "Approved. Welcome to the Suzuki household."
 
"Tsubasa moves from the door, gesturing with her head for us to follow her inside. We dutifully take off our shoes at the entrance and file in behind."
 
"Her living room lives up to the exterior of the house, being both spacious and tidy. The large entertainment unit, with its sizable television turned to some insipid soapie, takes up most of one wall, with the couch and a few chairs sitting behind a black coffee table covered in magazines."
 
"The still half-asleep head of a small brown dog pokes above the arm of the couch to see who's entered, before excitedly leaping off and galloping towards us happily panting and wagging its tail. Suzu immediately crouches down and scoops up the fluffball into her arms, smiling widely as she comes to her feet."
 
suz "There, there. I'm home, Miyu."
 
"Her grin redoubles as she gets a few well-deserved licks on the cheek. I briefly wonder if dogs can hyperventilate, because it sure looks like this one might."
 
his "Miyu, huh?"
 
"He looks at me with as displeased a face as he can muster. A difficult task, after seeing Suzu's reaction."
 
his "What breed?"
 
suz "She's an Affenpinscher crossed with... something."
 
tsu "No allergies or anything?"
 
his "Me? Nah. Dogs are nice."
 
"He reaches out for Miyu, but stops a few inches from her face. Only after she gives his hand a bit of a sniff does he slowly advance further to petting her head, smiling as he does so. I suppose his gentle nature is the type to get along with animals well."
 
"Suzu puts Miyu back on the ground afterwards, the dog busily giving both me and her new friend a good inspection."
 
tsu "I think you'll get along here just fine. Come with me and I'll show you the guest room. You can throw your bag down there."
 
his "Thanks. You two good?"
 
mik "I'll just bunk with Suzu. Have fun with Tsubasa."
 
mik "...You stud."
 
"Tsubasa just smiles as she leads him into the hallway, the sound of her pointing out the directions to this and that to be heard after they leave. Miyu's interest seems to be piqued by the new arrival as she trots out after them."
 
"I just let my bag drop on the floor, content to drag it up to Suzu's room some time later."
 
suz "Drink?"
 
mik "Yeah. Just some juice, thanks."
 
suz "Coming right up."
 
"As she turns to leave, I feel my heart twitch. Just a little."
 
"Suzu looked so delicate and fragile when I agreed to go out with her. She'd finally opened up towards me, knowing full well how much she could have been hurt. Such a frail and unassuming girl appeared at that moment to be so much stronger than I ever was."
 
"But now, she acts as if it never happened. Like it's just another day."
 
"I quickly start moving towards her, catching her attention as I do so. Just as she turns to see what I'm doing, I bring my arms around her small body and press her to my chest."
 
"Hugging's never really come naturally to me. It's not that I dislike it, but more that it's never felt very special. Maybe I was just never hugged enough as a kid."
 
"Holding her to me as I do now feels different, somehow. Not because I can feel her soft, warm body against mine, but because such a normally apprehensive girl would allow me to get so close at all. She trusts me."
 
"For a moment it looks like she might not reciprocate, taken too off guard to return the gesture. Eventually, though, she picks her arms up and wraps them around my back, drawing me into a tight embrace. With her face turned to the side, I press my lips to the top of her head."
 
suz "Sorry. I just..."
 
mik "You don't need to hold back, Suzu. You always worry too much."
 
suz "Only because you don't worry enough."
 
"I smile a little as I step back, rubbing her shoulder with my hand as a I do."
 
mik "It's good to see you're holding up. You've been through a lot lately."
 
suz "And that was who's responsibility?"
 
mik "I was trying to avoid mentioning that..."
 
his "So this means you're back to your old selves again?"
 
"Looking over Suzu reveals Hisao standing in the doorway, arms crossed and smiling. Suzu clamps her eyes shut to maintain her composure, but her rosy cheeks give her away."
 
suz "How long have you been there?"
 
his "Only just now. She went to her room, so I came back down."
 
his "I was worried about the two of you as well, you know. It's good to see you've made up."
 
mik "Yeah, thanks. Guess I've finally got my head screwed on right."
 
"Suzu just nods at him, but both of us know she's thankful."
 
# Timeskip
 
"The clatter of knives and forks rings out as the Suzuki family, plus their two guests, dig in to a lavish dinner. Various bowls of different salads sit on the table, complimenting the still steaming pieces of roast chicken on our plates."
 
"With Suzu, Hisao, and I seated on one side of the table, Suzu's sister, mother, and father sit on the other. Miyu hovers around the floor, making sure she's positioned to grab any scraps of food that might fall."
 
"I've always found it difficult to work out the age of her mother, with her chic short-cropped hair and smart clothing making her look quite trendy. It's a nice style, though it would be improved by her smiling a little more. Perhaps a result of stress from her job, now that I think of it."
 
"Her father... isn't like that. With a somewhat wiry body and thick spectacles perched on his round face, his greying hair noticably beginning to thin, he's always felt like a much warmer and unassuming personality. Despite his position as a prefectural bureaucrat, he's always held a sense of pride that I've respected in him."
 
mot "So how are things going at school, Suzu?"
 
suz "Fine."
 
mik "Exams are over, so things are a bit more relaxed now."
 
mot "And how did you do on them?"
 
mik "Well..."
 
suz "I think I did fine. Maths aside."
 
"Her mother puts down her fork to think, her face disappointed. It must be hard to have parents who drive so hard for good marks, despite the fact that her narcolepsy works against her."
 
mot "Hmm. Maybe we should get a tutor, then."
 
tsu "There's a tutor right here."
 
suz "I just need to study more. It'll be fine."
 
"She doesn't appear to have convinced her mother, but she manages to have the topic dropped. For now."
 
"I wonder what her parents think of my influence on her, given they'd be well aware of my pretty average grades. Hisao would be a much better fit for her, in personality as well as academics, than I would."
 
dad "Nakai, wasn't it?"
 
his "Ah, y-yeah."
 
"Speak of the devil. Content to let him speak for himself, I busy myself with the delicious food in front me."
 
dad "You've been terribly quiet; there's no need to be nervous."
 
mot "That's right. How do you think you've fared?"
 
his "Uh, well, I don't usually have much problem that with sort of thing."
 
mik "Nerd."
 
suz "Hisao's really good with science and maths. He's been helping me a bit with them."
 
his "I'm not that good..."
 
"That false humility makes me want to strangle him. From the focus he's receiving from her parents, I get the feeling he's at least making a good impression for them."
 
tsu "And here I was thinking you'd come to your sister for help."
 
mot "Any intentions of what you might do in university?"
 
his "I suppose just more of what I'm good at. I don't really know what kind of job I want to do."
 
dad "The main thing is to have skills behind you and a good head on your shoulders. It sounds like you have both."
 
mot "So what do you do with yourself outside of school? Any hobbies? Interests?"
 
his "Studying, mostly. Used to play sports, but I can't really do that any more."
 
"The brief lull in discussion says a lot. There's no doubt they've been briefed on Hisao's condition, but they's a far cry from knowing how to handle it best in conversation. If there's one thing that my time in Yamaku's taught me, it's that everyone's different in that regard."
 
"Taking a bit of pity on her parents for inadvertantly bringing up the subject, I give the conversation a little push."
 
mik "And how much of your bag was taken up by books?"
 
his "It wasn't that much."
 
suz "You should just join the literature club, aready. Why are you even in track and field?"
 
his "You've asked me that before. Then again, it's a question I continually ask myself as well..."
 
mik "He's ours, you can't have him!"
 
suz "The others in the lit club would be happy with have him. He already knows Ikezawa, after all."
 
his "Do I get a say in this?"
 
tsu "Shouldn't a boy be happy he's in high demand?"
 
"He just grimaces at her. I do think he secretly enjoys being our chew toy, but he'd never admit it."
 
mot "Maybe you should join her club. You do have similar interests after all."
 
"That's... not subtle. Suzu cuts me off before I can make light of the situation, obviously bothered by her mother's interjection."
 
suz "We're just teasing him. It's up to Hisao which club he joins."
 
mot "Such a shame. You're going to give up without a fight?"
 
suz "We're just friends."
 
mot "But he seems like a smart, handsome lad. Aren't too many like that around."
 
"She gives him a genuine smile, evidently pleased with her attempts to play matchmaker."
 
"He tries to reciprocate as best he can, but his terribly stilted smile betrays the fact that he knows as well as I that this conversation is like a car careening towards a cliff."
 
"Once more I try to jump in, but Suzu cuts me off. As much as I hate to say it, I'm at least learning something about her in this exchange; it's rare for her to be assertive towards others, but that may be more due to her shyness around unfamiliar people than true submissiveness."
 
suz "I said i'm not interested in him."
 
mot "But why?"
 
suz "Because I like girls."
 
"...And there's the cliff."
 
"Where the table had been humming with the noise of chatting, chewing, and clinking of utensils, in a flash it turns to dead silence. Not one person speaks, nor moves an inch. Knives and forks hang above plates, mouths still, and eyes stuck."
 
"Suzu stares straight into her mother's eyes, a look of exhasperation written onto her face. It's unmistakable that she's taking full ownership of the words she's just said. For her part, her mother appears to have simply stopped functioning, unable to process the last few seconds of her life."
 
suz "Miki's my girlfriend."
 
"Oh wow. I'm torn between fear at what might unfold in the next few seconds, or total adoration of the sheer balls this girl has on her."
 
"I'd be lying if I said this didn't make me like her more. I've never seen this side of Suzu before, her true strength of will on display with her back to the wall. I feel the muscles in my throat tense as if my body wanted me to say something, but I have no idea what to speak, or even if I should."
 
"Suddenly realising that Suzu and her mother aren't the only people at the the table, my eyes dart from one person to another."
 
"Suzu's father has the same reaction as her mother, simply looking at his daughter with a remarkably neutral expression. He tends to let her mother define the collective household opinion most of the time, but it's hard to say if that'll hold true of such a personal matter."
 
"Tsubasa looks more interested than shocked, slowly beginning to chew the food in her mouth once more. I get the feeling she's waiting more for her mother's reaction than actually coming to terms with what Suzu's said."
 
"As my glance falls to Hisao, his eyes meet mine. The look in his eyes makes me feel sorry for him; he's like an actor abruptly thrown onto the stage without a script, surrounded by other actors reciting entirely unknown lines. When his cue will come, and what he's supposed to do once it does, is a mystery to him."
 
"But none of us have been given our lines. We're all actors without a script right now."
 
"My heart sinks as Suzu's mother lowers her fork to the plate and slowly closes her eyes. Suzu's disposition changes as her shoulders slump and expression falls, knowing that her mother's judgement has been given without a word being spoken."
 
"Everyone's lives changed in the last few seconds, and it wasn't for the better."
 
mik "Um... I..."
 
"I desperately try to choke some words out of my tightening throat, but I still don't know what it is I want to say. This is bigger than me. It's usually so easy to laugh my way out of awkward situations, but this is something I don't understand at all."
 
"A movement out of the corner of my eye grabs my attention, Suzu's plate suddenly being pushed towards me."
 
"Hisao quickly withdraws his arm as Suzu's upper body falls forward, her face landing flat on the table where her plate has been. I feel even worse for having completely failed to account for her condition, Hisao's reflexes having just saved the day."
 
"Everything about this feels absurd. It may be a sleep attack or cataplexy from the stress, or one leading to the other. In any case, this seems a reasonable excuse to extract her from the room and get things back under control."
 
"Her mother puts her elbow on the table and buries her face in her hand out of frustration, her husband's hand reaching out and rubbing her back in concern."
 
mik "Should I-"
 
mot "Just take her."
 
"I can take that; I was prepared for her snapping. Hisao, on the other hand, looks to me with pained eyes as I collect Suzu's limp body. While he may be desperate for some instruction on how to deal with them, all I can do is look to the floor in defeat. He's on his own, and I hate that fact."
 
"With the girl sliding onto my back and still not making so much as a movement as we make to leave the room, it looks like she's slipped into sleeping after the attack."
 
"As much as I hate to say it, that's probably for the best."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With the fracas of dinner over, things have settled down a little by late evening."
 
"Suzu's mother has a bath as Tsubasa and I do the dishes, with Hisao and her father watching the day's news on the television. Looks like Hisao's a hit with Miyu, the small fluffy thing deciding to sleep on his lap."
 
"Then again, I heard somewhere that dogs are good at sensing people's emotions. Given the tense feeling in the air, Miyu may just be happy to be with someone who's not freaking out."
 
"At least there's some semblance of domestic normality now, even if the atmosphere could be cut with a knife."
 
mik "Hell of a dinner, huh?"
 
"She just sighs, pausing her washing of the plate in her hands as she looks back to the living room."
 
tsu "I feel sorry for Nakai. What a welcome to the family."
 
mik "He'll be fine. I know he looks like... that, but he's actually a pretty sturdy guy."
 
mik "What about her father?"
 
"She pulls an uncomfortable face, wanting to give me one answer, but knowing that another would be the truth."
 
tsu "Dad might not be as stubborn as our mother is... but he's also pretty old-fashioned. Who knows, he might come around."
 
tsu "Maybe."
 
"With that, she finishes sponging the plate in her hands and passes it along to me for drying while grabbing the next."
 
"I move to take it from her, but with my mind on other matters and my hand wet, it slips straight out of my grasp."
 
mik "Crap...!"
 
"With my hand too far to possibly grab it before it hits the floor, I try to at least break its fall with my stump. All I accomplish is making it tumble some more before it smashes to the ground."
 
tsu "Sorry, I wasn't looking where-"
 
"Tsubasa's frantic apology betrays her touchiness around my missing hand, immediately blaming herself for not taking it into account. It's not like she had anything to do with it, and while I might have caught the damn thing otherwise, my stump is the last of my worries right now."
 
mik "It's fine, I just...
 
"I reflexively bend down to try and at least take some of the larger shards off the tiled floor, but something rushes to my face and threatens to overwhelm me as I do so."
 
mik "Ah, shit."
 
"Snapping back upright and bring my back to the counter for support, I close my eyes and take the bridge of my nose in my fingers to try and compose myself."
 
"As little as Tsubasa and I have in common, she's at least a kind soul. I feel her warm hand on my shoulder, silence hanging in the room as she lets me take my time."
 
mik "What about you?"
 
tsu "Sorry?"
 
mik "You sure didn't seem too surprised by all this."
 
tsu "Sister's intuition."
 
"I raise an eyebrow at her cheeky smirk."
 
tsu "...and maybe I saw an autocomplete entry or two when fixing her laptop. Plus a couple of interesting manga in her desk."
 
mik "She wasn't that good at hiding it, was she?"
 
tsu "Not at all."
 
"I give a weak smile her Suzu's expense, but it soon drops as I catch sight of the shattered plate once more."
 
"If it were anyone but me, I wonder how this would have gone. I have no ambition, poor grades, I'm crude and impolite, and share barely any interests with her. Next to me is, in their eyes, a charming wonder-boy who's on a straight ticket to university."
 
"Suzu's mother probably had it all planned out for her. Following her sister into university, pushing past her narcolepsy to get a respectable career in some academic field or another, marrying into a reasonably well-to-do family. Grandchildren, too."
 
"Then I came and messed it all up."
 
tsu "Miki."
 
mik "Yeah?"
 
tsu "Don't beat yourself up, okay? None of this is your fault."
 
"I wish she wasn't as sharp as she is."
 
mik "Do you really think that?"
 
tsu "It's up to Suzu who she's attracted to. That happened to be you. Shouldn't you be happy about that?"
 
mik "I guess. I mean, I'm glad she likes me, and I like her."
 
tsu "That's more like it. It's strange to see you not smiling."
 
tsu "Go on, I'll clean this lot up and grab Nakai to help for the rest."
 
mik "Thanks. I owe you."
 
"I give her a nod and dry my hands off on a towel before taking my leave, though Tsubasa's voice from behind me catches my attention."
 
tsu "Oh, there was one more thing."
 
tsu "You're still a kid. You know that, right?"
 
mik "Yeah, I know."
 
tsu "Who my sister likes is her business, but if I find out that you've hurt her... I will ruin your life in ways only an adult would know."
 
"My heart freezes. I have absolutely no doubt that she means every word she says, delivered in that chilling voice."
 
# Timeskip
 
"Suzu's bedroom as the same as it's always been, bookshelves filled with a mix of girly manga, a few shelves holding various characters from shows she's watched, and a number of plush animals sitting around the largely white and light pink room."
 
"A spoiled little princess, quietly slumbering away surrounded by her little luxuries. It's nice to see her sleeping so peacefully, her mind not worried by the day's events."
 
"Walking over to her bed, I carefully take a seat on the side where she's sleeping. Without thinking, I reach down and brush away a stray hair on her face, disturbing her just enough to make her eyelids flutter."
 
"I try to keep my voice as low and gentle as possible, not wanting to bother her any more than I already have."
 
mik "Hey. You okay?"
 
"She just looks at me through half-closed eyes before letting them mournfully drop to the side."
 
"I feel stupid for not knowing how to comfort her. I came up here, after all, but now I'm suddenly left realising that I've never really tried emotionally supporting such a fragile person before. It's one thing to talk a guy through some day-to-day frustration or whatever, but quite another to be stuck together in the trenches like this."
 
"I end up just stroking her head, completely at a loss for what else to do."
 
suz "What happened afterwards?"
 
mik "Hmm... not much, really. Just a few bits of smalltalk before everyone went off to do their own thing."
 
suz "They hate m-"
 
mik "Don't be like that. They were just taken off guard, that's all."
 
mik "Remember when you kissed me out of the blue? Even I was a bit shocked, and you know how I am."
 
suz "Thick-headed?"
 
"I give a snort in spite of myself. She's still the same old girl, that's for sure."
 
mik "Yeah, I deserved that."
 
"In the brief silence that follows, Suzu fidgets a bit and manages to sit up, albeit slightly groggily."
 
"As she looks at me, her eyes staring into mine, her intentions are plain to see. Without a word, both of us lean towards each other as she holds her blanket to her chest."
 
"Our lips meet each other. It's not much more than a peck, a momentary touch before we each sit back, but it's enough."
 
"I feel a stupid grin sitting on my face, the feeling of our kiss still lingering. Suzu manages to hold her composure for a scant few moments before her cheeks fill with a bright scarlet, forced to look down in embarrassment as she clenches her hand to her chest."
 
"I know it's irrational, that it makes absolutely no sense, but somehow I can't help but feel that everyone will work out fine when I see her like this."
 
"It's a terribly strange feeling. Not so much to love someone, but to be loved yourself. To know that to someone else, you're the most important person in their mind. Not by blood, but by choice."
 
"Maybe that's why everything feels like it'll be alright. Because Suzu's there, and even after all I've done, she loves me. She accepts me."
 
 
 
END CHAPTER 4
 
 
 
"A tired Suzu follows my lead as we head down the stairs and into the hallway, a great yawn escaping as I make my way to the living room."
 
"Opening the door reveals that we're not the first to arrive. With her body hidden by the recliner's back, all that's to be seen are two grey-clad arms lazily hanging over the sides."
 
mik "You okay?"
 
tsu "Life is pain. Leave me to my fate."
 
"Her dreary voice is nothing short of pathetic to behold."
 
suz "What have you been told about all-nighters?"
 
tsu "Internal compiler error: segmentation fault. Internal compiler error: segmentation fault. Internal compiler error..."
 
mik "Okay, okay. We'll leave you to mope in peace."
 
"She repeats herself a couple more times as we leave her aura of depression to get something for breakfast. I think this might be the first time I've seen her this frazzled."
 
"The moment we enter the kitchen, I freeze. The very last person I wanted to see stands before us, her cold eyes locked to mine as she lowers her cup of coffee to the counter."
 
suz "Good morning."
 
"Suzu's timid voice draws the attention of her mother, giving me a chance to breathe as her expression lightens ever so slightly."
 
mot "Good morning, Suzu. Have you had your morning tablets, yet?"
 
suz "I'll have them with breakfast."
 
mot "Good girl. Don't forget to wash them down with something; I know you keep dry-swallowing them."
 
suz "Yes, mom."
 
mot "I'll be off to work then. You'll have Tsubasa to watch over you."
 
suz "I'm not a child any more, you know. I don't need adult supervision."
 
"Her mother takes one last sip of coffee before depositing her cup and taking her keys from the counter, Suzu's protests falling on deaf ears. We both step aside to let her through, sharing sense of relief that what might have been a confrontation has turned out to be nothing."
 
"Looks like we're doing the whole 'forget anything was ever said' routine, keeping up the appearance of normality. As much as I'm grateful for avoiding an argument, it's obvious that this is only a stay of execution."
 
"Just as I'm about to get breakfast and do my best to forget the whole experience, her sharp voice calls out from behind."
 
mot "Miura, would you come with me for a moment?"
 
"I don't even bother hiding the slumping of my shoulders."
 
# Timeskip
 
"Her fancy grey car is right there, keys clutched in her hand as she stands with her arms crossed. If only I could will her to just get inside and drive off, leaving us in peace."
 
"Instead, I feel like I'm on trial. Her ice cold stare is obviously intended to assert her dominance over me, and it's working. This feels more like an interrogation than any kind of cordial chat between she and her daughter's love interest."
 
mot "Before this goes any further, I want to make something perfectly clear to you."
 
mik "Yeah?"
 
mot "Make the most of your time here. This is the last time you'll set foot in this house, after all."
 
mik "But-!'
 
mot "I'd suggest you don't talk back to me. You should be glad you're still here at all."
 
"So that's how this is going to be played. It's disappointing, of course; I liked Suzu's family a lot, and now they've come to roundly reject even the sight of me. That said, the silver lining is that she's taking this out on me rather than Suzu."
 
"At least, for now. Just the thought of me being the cause of her mother being angry at her makes me feel sick, so if this is what it takes, so be it."
 
"She evidently takes my absentminded rubbing of my arm as submission to her demands, pressing the keyfob to disable the car alarm and beginning to get inside."
 
mik "This isn't fair..."
 
"My thought freezes as I realise what I've mumbled. Why do I always have to have the last word? Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?"
 
"My worst concerns are realised as her mother abruptly stops getting into the car and steps back out, rounding on me with a face of burning resentment."
 
mot "Don't you dare talk to me about what's fair."
 
"Shit, what do I do? I can't simply say sorry. I know damn well that I wouldn't be able to force the words out, an apology for this being against every instinct I have. If I take her up on her argument though, there's every chance I'll be thrown out and make things far worse for Suzu."
 
"I've never had a problem with telling teachers or other authority figures to go stuff themselves if I felt they were being unfair, even back in elementary school. Maybe that was because I was a badly-behaved little brat, but that's beside the point."
 
"But right now, all I can do is stand mortified, unable to stand up against this woman before me. Not out of concern for myself, but for another."
 
"The sound of the front door opening behind us draws our attention, Tsubasa's figure coming into sight."
 
tsu "Hey, mom...?"
 
mot "Yes?"
 
tsu "Could you pick up some milk on the way home? I'd text dad, but he'll just forget."
 
"Her gaze shifts to me, the momentum from her previous anger having been abruptly brought to a halt."
 
"The game being played is perfectly obvious, but it's clear that she wants to keep this directed at me right now given that she dragged me out here just before she left for work."
 
"The way she closes her eyes and reopens then with an entirely different disposition should unsettle me, but right now I'm just relieved that it's all over."
 
mot "Milk. Got it."
 
"With that, she lowers herself into the car while doing her best not to acknowledge my presence."
 
"The relief of seeing her car back out of the driveway and disappear down the street is palpable. I waste no time in turning on the ball of my heel and heading straight back inside."
 
mik "Thanks. I owe you one."
 
tsu "And don't you forget it."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With Tsubasa having retreated to her room and Hisao finally awake, the three of us settle in on the couch as the console slowly boots up. Miyu quietly lays on the recliner, content to sleep the day away."
 
"Seated in the middle of us, with me to the right and Hisao to the left, it's Suzu who has command of the controller. With the game already chosen and inserted, it starts up in short measure."
 
his "Ah, this. So you're into RPGs, then?"
 
"She gives a nod."
 
suz "You?"
 
his "I mostly just played at the local arcades, like before."
 
suz "It shows."
 
his "Well at least I'm good at something beyond schoolwork."
 
his "What about you, Miki?"
 
mik "Eh, I kinda had a deprived childhood when it comes to this sort of thing. It still blows my mind how good they look these days."
 
his "And you're the one calling me old-fashioned."
 
mik "Hey, at least I wasn't born 50 years old."
 
suz "You just got stuck as a 10 year old, instead."
 
"The smartass comment earns her a stuck-out tongue."
 
"She finally gets past the menus and starts running around the fictional school building once the game loads, picking up from where she left off with remarkable ease."
 
"As she runs up to a girl in the game and starts some dialogue, I can't help but comment. I'm kinda curious what her type is when it comes to women, after all."
 
mik "I like her."
 
suz "Who?"
 
mik "Her. The redhead chick. She's cool."
 
suz "She's kind of bossy..."
 
mik "Hisao, second opinion?"
 
his "I'm with Miki on this one, for once."
 
suz "Hmph."
 
mik "So who's your favourite? Please not the hangdog mopey girl."
 
"Suzu glowers at me, but it isn't unexpected. I just chose the one who resembled her the most, after all."
 
"Oh yeah, I meant to find out her type. I ended up indirectly teasing her, instead. Whoops."
 
"Hisao just gives a smile, content to let us pick at each other."
 
his "So what's there to do around here, anyway? Seems like a pretty nice place."
 
suz "There's a ridiculous number of restaurants. A museum, as well."
 
mik "Don't forget the beach."
 
suz "That too. Did you pack swimwear?"
 
his "Yeah."
 
mik "Only because I reminded him at the last minute."
 
his "You didn't have to mention that..."
 
"As we yak away on the couch, a very particular smell enters the room. The kind that irritates your nose and throat just enough to demand your attention. The slightly acrid edge it has makes it unmistakable."
 
"Being the first to apparently catch it, I turn around to see the source. Sure enough, Suzu's sister enters with a cigarette perched in her mouth, shoving the packet and lighter into her hoodie pocket."
 
"The attention of the others is finally drawn as she inhales sharply and takes the cigarette from her mouth, blowing a thin whisp of smoke past her lips. Her gaze is at nothing in particular, just happy to foul up the room as she lets off steam."
 
mik "Taking a break?"
 
tsu "Finished. Thank God."
 
"Replacing the stick back in her mouth, she retrieves a a thumb-drive from her pocket and flicks into the air before snatching it with her hand, apparently quite pleased with herself."
 
suz "Mom and dad will kill you if they find out."
 
tsu "Snitches get stitches."
 
suz "The smell. It'll hang around if you do that inside."
 
"The warning gives Tsubasa pause, too flushed in her victory over her project to consider that fact."
 
"She stares at her sister for a moment before giving a displeased puff in her direction, with Suzu going back to her game in response."
 
his "What's all this for, anyway?"
 
tsu "Uni project. I know just enough programming to keep getting stuck with the job during group assignments and projects."
 
his "You're a student?"
 
tsu "Yeah, mechanical engineering."
 
his "That's cool."
 
"The statement fills her with pride, her smile making the cigarette between her lips angle sharply upwards."
 
tsu "You hear that, Suzu? I'm cool."
 
suz "At least someone thinks you are."
 
"Suzu just keeps tapping away at the controller, launching some loud group attack on a boss character. She really is good at shutting out discussion she's not interested in."
 
"Used to her sister's antics, Tsubasa instead turns to Hisao once more."
 
tsu "Hmm... you'd be into robots and stuff, right? Tell you what, how about you come see what we're working on?"
 
his "Seriously? That'd be okay?"
 
tsu "It isn't exactly top-secret military stuff we're doing, you know. Either of you two up for it?"
 
suz "I think I'll be fine."
 
mik "Neeeeerds."
 
tsu "Tough crowd. Get your stuff and we'll be off, Nakai. No point hanging around for these two."
 
his "Sure, I'll be right out."
 
"Passing by the recliner on the way, she gives Miyu a much-appreciated rub on the head before leaving. For his part, Hisao jumps off the couch and goes to grab his phone and wallet from the guest room."
 
"As he returns and heads towards outside, he briefly stops to give us a wave of goodbye. I pucker my lips and make kissing motions to tease him in response, earning an obscene gesture before he disappears out the door."
 
"Come to think of it, he never used to do that before. Maybe I'm starting to rub off on him."
 
mik "Those two sure are getting along."
 
suz "She'd be a good influence on him. Smoking aside."
 
"Can't say I'm a fan of the habit either. That sort of thing used to be popular back home, but then again, it's not like there was much else do out in the sticks."
 
"Suzu's attention is wholly focused on the television in front her, right now going through some dialogue section as two characters gossip between themselves. I kind wish she was playing a shooter, or anything else that was more exciting to watch. At least this has some cute girls, I suppose."
 
"In a move that's probably not all that subtle, I let my left arm drop from the couch and around Suzu's other shoulder. She pauses, albeit briefly, but continues on after a badly hidden glance towards me."
 
"A little smile fights for its life on her face, eventually managing to eke out a fragile existence as I hold her to my side. It proves infectious, with my own grin soon widening."
 
suz "Sorry."
 
mik "What's wrong?"
 
suz "You'd prefer me to be more affectionate, wouldn't you?"
 
mik "I wouldn't exactly say no, but you are what you are. If you're not the touchy-feely type, that's fine."
 
"She falls silent, the game's music as a battle starts being the only sound in the room."
 
mik "We both know that's bullshit, don't we?"
 
mik "He's fine with it, you know. Hisao, that is."
 
suz "I know. I just..."
 
"As she looks down, I become increasingly doubtful of my reasoning. I'm sure being... that way inclined plays a part, but even if she liked men, her distrust of others would still be there."
 
"I don't like that fact at all. I know that if she doesn't deal with it at some point, it's going to take over her entire life. That's a large part of why I've tried to work it out of her, after all."
 
"But even if it's incredibly selfish, I can't help but treasure, just a little, how she's opened up to me. She chose me as the only person she's willing to show herself to. Wouldn't anyone be thankful for that?"
 
suz "What happened earlier?"
 
mik "With your mother?"
 
"She gives a nod. That's the very last topic I wanted to talk with her about, let alone now of all times. The more I think about it, the deeper the barbs go from what she told me, but I can't let Suzu bear that burden. It's not her fault."
 
"Doing my best to gin up a lie on short notice, I shrug my shoulders."
 
mik "Just going off at me about being a lout. Could've been worse."
 
"Suzu glances at me, but seems to take the statement at face value as she goes back to her game."
 
"Whether to reassure myself or her, I bend down and give an affectionate peck on her cheek."
 
"Her reaction isn't quite what I'd expected; with her fingers slipping off the buttons and joystick, she looks up to me with a hopeful, almost yearning expression. It takes some effort for her to maintain eye contact, forcing herself to look me in the eyes."
 
"My heart skips a beat as I begin to lean in, my last sight being of her rosy cheeks and delicate lips before I close my eyes."
 
"And so, I press my lips to those of Suzu, the controller falling to the floor with a thud."
 
"As we kiss, my lust finally gets the better of me as I push my tongue forward, passing my own lips and pushing into Suzu's."
 
"Suzu's body jerks as I make the move, but her hesitation soon melts as she responds in kind, her tongue moving around inside my mouth and pressing against my own tongue. She doesn't seem to really know what to do with it, her innocence only spurring me to excite her more and more."
 
"As I press my mouth against hers, I can feel Suzu's breath tickling my face and her body heaving from the desire running through it. Her controller lies on the floor forgotten as her hands hold me, one on my side and the other to my cheek."
 
"The two of us part with almost identical timing, our faces flushed and breathing heavy."
 
"I can feel my heart tighten as I look at her face. The way her eyes look up at my own, loose hairs hanging as she pants in excitement through those slightly open lips, entirely too taken with the situation to bother trying to compose herself. It's surprising how little it takes to make her completely flustered, and all the more endearing."
 
"I push myself on her once more, the two of us making out without a care for the outside world. I didn't think someone like her would find this sort of thing fun, but then again, it isn't the first time she's surprised me."
 
"My hand on her waist slips downward, taking in the feeling of her leg as it slowly moves along her thigh. Attempting to sate my lust by rubbing up and down her thigh only makes me more excited, as does the weak whimper escaping from her mouth."
 
"I want her. I want all of her. I want to take this girl for myself."
 
"Not content with her cute leg, my hand slips from the top of her thigh to the inside, my heart beating faster and faster as my hand ever so slowly slides further upwards, my tongue chasing her own as she desperately attempts to escape for so much as a breath."
 
"The tips of my fingers disappear under her dress, brushing against her thin underwear, the feeling of everything underneath clear to the touch."
 
"A sharp inhalation gives me pause, suddenly breaking me out of my relentless advance on her. Sensing something's up, I pull back my adventurous hand and withdraw from my kiss."
 
"Suzu's body is completely frozen, one hand on the couch supporting her body, the other raised defensively in front of her as she leans back. Her eyes flit to mine and then away, unable to keep contact for more than a second."
 
"I open my mouth to speak, but once again find myself unable to find words. All I can do is frantically stuff down my desire as I try to work out how to settle the panicked rabbit before me."
 
mik "Sorry, I didn't..."
 
"Didn't what? There are a lot of things I didn't do. While she was obviously content with making out, I let myself become consumed by my libido, pushing myself on her without a word. She's never done this before, and hell, tends to skirt the mere mention of anything remotely sexual in conversation."
 
"I try to force a grin to lighten the mood, but as I do so, I notice the telltale signs that doing so will be entirely pointless."
 
"Sure enough, the muscles in Suzu's face relax and her eyelids close, her arm buckling soon after. Suddenly limp as a rag, she flops backward onto the couch like a lifeless doll, one arm over her stomach as the other haphazardly drops over the side."
 
"Well. That's that."
 
"I let my head droop in defeat, looking at her unconscious body for a while before picking up the long-forgotten controller. As if to make the situation as awkward as possible, the dog decides now is the best time to start snoring loudly, reminding us of her presence."
 
"Sitting the thing in my lap in practiced fashion, I use my stump to carefully move the left stick and operate the buttons with my hand, managing to, eventually, save the game. As it writes to the memory card, a movement from the corner of my eye draws my eyes from the television."
 
"With her muscle control returned to her, Suzu brings her arm over her face, hiding her eyes underneath. She doesn't say a word, nor make any other movement."
 
"Bereft of anything to say that could make the mood any better, I decide to just avoid the topic completely."
 
mik "Mind if I choose the next game?"
 
suz "Do as you want."
 
# Timeskip
 
"Having settled in for the night, Suzu lies at the end of the bed on her stomach watching TV. The small flatscreen, perched on a low dresser at the end of the room, is unsurprisngly tuned to some late-night animated series."
 
"It's kind of cute how she gets so taken with whatever she's doing. From studying to games, she really does take everything in her life seriously."
 
"As for me, I just lay on my back with my head propped up on the bedhead, arms bent back providing a makeshift cushion for my head. The show's interesting enough to hold my attention, even if it is a bit artsy for my liking."
 
mik "Aren't you tired? It's getting pretty late."
 
suz "If you want to sleep, I can just record it."
 
mik "That's not what I'm asking."
 
suz "I'm fine."
 
"Annoyed with her brushing off my concern for her, I read out with my foot and poke Suzu's butt with my big toe."
 
"Her reaction is both immediate and startling, a loud sound coming from her that'd be best described as a squeak as she suddenly lurches forwards and topples off the bed as she twists around and scrambles for a handhold."
 
"The ordeal ends with a thud as she crashes onto the floor, the silence afterwards making me more than a little concerned."
 
mik "Hey, Suzu? You okay down there?"
 
"The top half of her head slowly rises from behind the end of the bed, her annoyed eyes just visible as she glares at me over the sheets. I just smile."
 
mik "C'mon, don't be like that."
 
"My remark only serves to make Suzu furrow her brow even further. I guess she really is mad."
 
"I doubt it's from my poking her, though. Her reaction was completely out of proportion, making me think that she had something else on her mind. Without her having told me what's bothering her, all I can do is take a wild stab at it."
 
mik "Look, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I didn't mean to come onto you that fast."
 
"The side of my mouth twitches as I hope I've latched onto the right problem, but her sighing shows that I've missed the mark."
 
"Sitting her chin on the sheets and laying her arms out in front of her, she looks to me with a resigned expression, having given up on letting me finding the answer myself."
 
suz "Why do you insist on coddling me like a child? It's bad enough when my parents do it."
 
mik "Huh?"
 
suz "This morning. I heard what mom told you."
 
mik "I was going to tell you."
 
"Suzu looks at me with suspicion."
 
mik "I mean it! It just didn't feel like the right time."
 
suz "Why does everyone think I'm so fragile?"
 
mik "Well, I mean... that's not totally without reason."
 
"I should not have said that. I so should not have said that."
 
"As she stands up, looking at me with a dark face, I quickly sit up and try to think of something to cover my ass. It's true, though; someone like me has trouble accounting for her innocence, and her condition. It hurts a little to think how someone more laid back and thoughtful would've been such a better fit for her than I."
 
"Before I can mumble any sort of half-hearted apology, Suzu does the last thing I expected. Standing at the foot of the bed, she begins to undo the buttons of her pajama top."
 
"Taken completely off guard, and perhaps a little swayed by wanting her to continue, all I can do is watch as she slowly and silently undoes button after button."
 
"Upon unfastening the last, she shrugs off her top and lets it drop to the ground, revealing her petite breasts. My heart is practically in my mouth, her stripping evidently not yet finished as she works off her pajama bottoms with her panties."
 
"With every inch of her bared before me, she stands simply with her arms hanging by her sides. Despite her blushing, she looks to be with an expression of sincere disapproval, is if to silently scold me."
 
"This is the same girl who had a cataplexy attack when I tried to come onto her, right? I've seen her body before, in showers and changing rooms, but she has an essence of eroticism around her that she never had before."
 
mik "Suzu..."
 
suz "You want to do this with me, right?"
 
"All I can do is gulp. Knowing the way she is, it's totally impossible that she's ever done this before. That in itself makes me admire her gumption in doing such a thing."
 
"As the seconds tick by, I begin to notice the cracks in her facade. The way she fiddles with her fingers, her uneven breathing, the way her cheeks become ever more flushed. In spite of all that, she still forces herself to keep eye contact."
 
mik "If you're not ready, I don't want to-"
 
suz "I am ready. I want to do this with you, Miki."
 
"Ah, that's what her face reminds me of. A petulant child, annoyed that her latest petty wish isn't being obeyed. A smile spreads across my face as I realise that she's acting just the way she always does."
 
"Suzu's a spoiled child, after all. Always had been. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though; it's what's given her such a pigheaded nature, after all."
 
"That's what makes me sure that Suzu isn't just offering herself up to me. She wouldn't push herself so hard if she didn't want to do this, and even if she may be more modest than I about her body, that doesn't mean she lacks her own desire for sex. It's surely played on her mind before."
 
suz "What are you smiling about?"
 
mik "You really need to lighten up, you know that?"
 
"She flowers into a full blush as the facade falls, looking away to hide her embarrassment for taking this so seriously compared to me."
 
"I take the opportunity to take my own clothes off, her interest piqued as my tank top comes off and gets thrown to the floor. She has trouble avoiding staring at my breasts as I work off my shorts, my panties following both onto the floor in short measure."
 
"I can't help but imagine how I'd be run out of the house if her parents discovered us naked like this, indulging in the very last thing they'd want me doing with their precious daughter. Here we are, though, taking in the sight of each other's bodies."
 
mik "You're beautiful, Suzu."
 
"The words are as sincere as could be. Her smooth, lithe body is a harsh contrast to my own, her complexion pale compared to my tanned skin. She isn't especially curvateous, nor mature looking by any definition, but she does have an unpretentious charm to her dainty figure."
 
"Not that I'm ignorant of what Suzu sees in me. I suppose I should acknowledge the bonuses of puberty as well as the minuses, as having a body I like looking at myself is always a pleasure."
 
"I reach out to the bashful girl bidding her to join me. She promptly does so, clambering onto the bed and pressing her lips to mine in the most brief of kisses."
 
"It's not her kiss that sets me aflutter, though. Rather, the way she reaches out and brings her hand under my cheek, brushing it with her fingers. The love in her eyes is unmistakable, leaving me utterly speechless. I've never seen someone look at me like this before."
 
"I must have a really dumb smile on my face. With a wonderful warmth flowing through me, all I can do is stroke her hair in response."
 
suz "I love you, Miki."
 
mik "I know."
 
"I try to grin and play it off, but she's making it obvious that she wants me to say those words. Suzu's really got me wrapped around her little finger to make me the bashful one."
 
mik "I love you too."
 
"I follow up by pushing my chin forwards just little. Suzu takes the hint as she gingerly closes her eyes, my mouth pressing to hers in short measure."
 
"An affectionate peck is followed by a much more adult kiss, our desire for each other being indulged. She moves to pull her face away, but I gently bite her lip before going on to press mine to hers once more."
 
"Only when I've had my fill do I let her go, her face flushed and breathing heavily."
 
suz "Miki..."
 
"It's obvious that there's no going back now. As she looks to me with those dreamy eyes, I bring my hand to her side and guide her into my lap."
 
"Content to follow my lead, nuzzles the side of her face against mine as I hold my arms around her. The smell of shampoo plays on my nose, the feeling of her soft skin against mine filling me with lust."
 
"The girl just sighs as I bring my mouth to the base of her neck, meekly tilting her head to allow me. The television ahead blares away as I lick at her skin, still warm from her bath. As she starts moving about in my lap, I realise she's taking in the feeling of my breasts against her back."
 
"I almost laugh, her awkward attempts to push past her prudishness making me hold her all the tighter."
 
"Hoping that getting her more excited will help her loosen up, I move my hand over her breast, at first cupping it and feeling out its contours before gently kneading it. She whimpers a little, but the way she starts to settle down seems to show it's working."
 
"Tweaking at her nipple starts to excite even me, a moan escaping her lips showing that she enjoys it just as much. Slowly but surely she begins to let herself go, letting me play with her supple body as I wish."
 
"As she begins to fidget about, the sight of the area between Suzu's legs becomes inviting. I've never pleasured a girl before, only able to go by what I enjoy doing with myself. I have little choice but to learn, though, as my hand begins to inch down her stomach."
 
"She goes quiet out of anxiety as my fingers slide downwards, gently brushing through her lower hair before reaching my goal."
 
"Her breath and muscles tense catches as my fingers slide between her legs, the mere fact I'm touching her down there making my own heart skip a beat. I desperately want to avoid hurting Suzu, but my own lusts are starting to get the better of me."
 
"I begin to delicately stroke her nub, being as delicate as I possibly can. Her excitement has already left my fingers faintly moist, evidently already taken by the experience."
 
"Her quiet nature makes it terribly hard to guage if she's enjoying this. Worried that it's a sign, I adjust my motions and begin pressing a little harder, eventually moving my fingers further afield to stimulate other parts as well."
 
"A momentary quiver shooting through her body almost makes me stop in fear that I've hurt her, but it passes as soon as it came. Her hips begin to move and fidget, her ecstasy slowly escalating."
 
mik "Is this right?"
 
suz "Don't speak..."
 
"I smile at her breathless words as she squirms in my lap."
 
"Suzu's breaths becoming faster and moans more frequent, a slight sweat forming on her skin. I quickly pat her a few times  to excite her further before returning to rubbing, my motions settling on a speed and motion. With her body beginning to heave and tighten in my grasp, I can only guess she's nearing the end."
 
suz "Miki... Nnnnnn..."
 
"She can't close her mouth any more for her frantic breathing, her attention wholly focused on the welling ecstasy within her. Little by little she gets further to the edge, her moaning getting increasingly impossible to suppress."
 
"As her thighs begin to quiver, it should only take a little more, and..."
 
suz "Ah... Aaaaahn!"
 
"Suzu's body tenses unmistakably as her breath catches, her voice going silent as she desperately clutches at the peaking climax, every sense overtaken by the rush of euphoria."
 
"She clutches frantically at that wonderful feeling as it begins to wane, but inevitably and ever so slowly... it leaves her."
 
"Suzu's body slumps in my arms as the excitement ebbs away, a little effort being needed to keep her upright in my arms. I give her an affectionate peck on the cheek, satisfied that she seems to have enjoyed herself."
 
"It's so rare that I get to see her with her guard completely lowered, but today, at this moment, I can finally say she's given in. What I saw when it did could only be called one thing."
 
"Interested to see what she has to say for herself, I tilt my head over her shoulder to try and catch a glimpse of her face. It earns me a sideways glance, her look one of both physical and emotional exhaustion."
 
mik "Thank you, Suzu. I'm glad I got to do this with you."
 
"She just nuzzles her head aganst mine, but I don't mind. That's all the answer I need, after all."
 
"As the afterglow begins to wear off, she twists and kisses me once more, her hands taking weak hold of my shoulders."
 
mik "Suzu...?"
 
suz "You want to as well, don't you?"
 
mik "You don't have to-"
 
"What am I saying? Of course she isn't forcing herself. She wants to. I can only guess how long she's yearned for this moment."
 
"Playing with her has left me excited, I can admit that much. Making the best of it, I reach out and bring my hand around Suzu's head, drawing her in for another kiss."
 
"She she moves down to kiss my collar, I uncross my legs and let myself sit back while supporting myself with my hand and stump. Suzu can take this at her pace, her gaze already focused on my body rather than my eyes."
 
"My chest is the next area of her exploration, one hand supporting her as the other feels out and kneads my left breast. She brings her mouth towards it, sucking and licking before playing at my nipple with her tongue. The sight of her combined with the pleasure of her teasing at it makes me giggle."
 
suz "Is this... wrong?"
 
mik "I was just thinking how curious you look."
 
mik "It feels nice, Suzu. You shouldn't worry so much."
 
"She hesitates, before pressing her lips to my breast as a parting goodbye. The feeling of her spit evaporating off is wonderful, the cool sensation a contrast to the warm summer air."
 
"Next is my stomach, her face held so close that she might almost be touching it as she lays down."
 
"She hesitates a moment before moving downward, not from nerves, but as if to engrave its feeling onto her mind as she runs her hand over it. It's not my most feminine feature, admittedly, but my toned body is one of the few things I've manage to keep from my days before Yamaku. That she seems to like it makes me a little glad."
 
"Her hand brushes against my untidy hair, stopping before going any further. My only answer to her questioning eyes, as if she needed permission to advance any further, is to grin."
 
"She takes a moment to get her bearings, before reluctantly moving her head forwards. Even the air from her nose brushing against my hair and crotch is enough to make me shudder, the area already covered in a heavy dew from our messing about."
 
"Starting with a mere kiss before beginning in earnest, she begins to timidly and slowly lap between my legs, her hands resting on the inside of my thighs."
 
"Her nervousness about whether she's doing everything correctly makes it hard to even look at her. I suppose I shouldn't complain, given that I was thinking just the same way."
 
"I just give an indulgent smile as she goes, her eyes eventually closing as she becomes more comfortable. I don't think she really knows what she's doing, beyond what she might have seen in some lewd media or another, but it feels nice in any case. I'm not sure how much time passes as I let myself drift in this intoxicating sensation, nor do I care."
 
"A suddenly piercing feeling draws me out of my trance, Suzu's fingers having become abruptly adventurous as she burrows two inside of me."
 
suz "Sorry, is this...?"
 
mik "Just keep going."
 
"She doesn't look wholly convinced, but decides to go along with it. I can't decide whether the feeling is good or bad as her fingers haphazardly move inside of me, the occasional touched nerve giving me an involuntary giggle she goes."
 
"It might be in the most reluctant of ways, but the fact she's willing to try and experiment in making me feel as best she can makes me a little happy."
 
"She pulls them out after her curiosity is sated, my back arching as a wave of pleasure suddenly overcomes me. Her tongue finds a damn good motion, and the thankfully manages to catch it."
 
mik "Suzu... More..."
 
"My entire body begins to move and shiver in anticipation, pleasure emanating from that one spot."
 
"The look in Suzu's eyes, a mixture of embarrassment, passion, and curiosity only makes it all the harder to hold on. I can feel her tongue on by nub, her lips covering mine, hands pressing against my legs as they begin to shake. More... I just want to feel Suzu more..."
 
"I'm close, I can feel it just dancing on the edge of my grasp. Just a little further.... Just a little..."
 
mik "Aaah!"
 
"As if having fallen into a deep ocean, the world drops away as a surge of pleasure washes over my entire body and overwhelms every sense. For a precious few seconds I bask in the bliss running through me, my muscles clenching as if to hold tight to that most wonderful feeling."
 
"But as the seconds pass, so too does the rush of emotion. I desperately clutch at the last dregs of pleasure as they begin to leave me, savouring what little I can as normality begins to seep in."
 
"The sweat against my skin begins to sting, the cold air around my bare legs being the next feeling to enter my consciousness. Every breath is a laboured effort, and with my muscles feeling unbearably weak, I let myself fall back onto the bed."
 
"My view of the ceiling lasts only a moment, with Suzu's face taking up my sight as she clambers on top of me. Her face, as always, is that inscrutable stoic expression."
 
"I just give a dumb smile as I reach up, brushing her dishevelled hair as a few hairs hang past her face. As much as I might try, I can't quite find the words I want to say."
 
"Well, whatever. Words were overrated anyway."
 
 
END CHAPTER 5
 
 
"With Hisao, Suzu and I lazing about the living room while watching a movie, a pleasant sense of routine has come over the Suzuki household."
 
"While things have improved slightly from the heavy stuff around my arrival, it'd be a lie to say everything's back to normality. Now that the dust has settled, it seems her parents are simply ignoring my existence before I'm out of their hair for good."
 
"Questions such as whether I deserve that treatment or not are irrelevant now. I've never been one to ponder how the world isn't or how it should be, only how it is."
 
"Hisao interest in what's playing is about as low as it could be while still being polite, his attention more on patting the sleeping dog in his lap than anything else. Having no such worries, I loudly begin to snore."
 
suz "Be quiet."
 
"Her placid face holds, holding her knees to her chest as she watches the televison ahead of us with total concentration."
 
"I don't even see the appeal of this. Sure, she likes romantic shows and the usual sappy crap, but this is the most delightfully boring show she's inflicted on me yet. Set in Victorian England, it seems to be about some fancy estate this rich woman wants to keep."
 
"I think, anyway. It's gone on so long that I've started to lose track."
 
mik "Hisao, what's the appeal in this?"
 
"He just shrugs, content to relax in the recliner with his new furry friend."
 
his "Don't ask me."
 
mik "Suzu...?"
 
suz "It's a nice setting. The houses and outfits are pretty, too."
 
"Nerds are so weird."
 
"As much as I'd like to complain further, I did get my choice of movie before this, so I guess she has to have her turn."
 
"Accepting my fate and doing my best to avoid falling asleep before it ends, a familiar smell enters the room. 'Musty' would be the best word for it. Miyu's head perks up, practically trained to recognise the scent."
 
"Sure enough, Tsubasa strolls into the room with a cigarette perhced in her mouth. She takes a hold of her shoulder before rolling her arm about in its socket to try and free up the joint."
 
his "You're not old yet."
 
tsu "I sure feel like it."
 
"She grabs her neck next, tilting her head from side to side. University sure seem to take its toll on her."
 
suz "You shouldn't do that inside. Mom and dad'll kill you if they find out."
 
tsu "Snitches get stitches."
 
suz "I mean the smell. It sticks around."
 
"Tsubasa looks a little surprised at her sister's looking out for her. She really should just kick the habit already."
 
"She takes the cigarette from her lips and gives a haughty puff, her focus moving from her sister to the television as dramatic music suddenly plays. Perhaps the only interesting thing in the movie happens, with a bookcase falling on some guy."
 
tsu "Ouch."
 
tsu "Anyway, I'm taking the dog for a walk. You kiddoes want to come?"
 
"Miyu catches the key word, excitedly leaping off Hisao and tearing up to Tsubasa with its tail flicking wildly."
 
"With Suzu's attention remaining wholly on what's happening on the screen, she doesn't notice the pointed way her sister locks eyes with me. Wanting to escape the house and get some sun anyway, I shrug and accept."
 
mik "Sure."
 
his "It's over."
 
mik "Huh?"
 
"I turn around to see the television once more, the credits having finally begun to scroll."
 
mik "Thank God. How bloody long was that thing?"
 
suz "It was only two hours. Can you really not sit in one place that long?"
 
tsu "Can you two stop picking on each other? I'm about to go."
 
"Miyu's started running about the room in anticipation, her lead trailing behind her."
 
mik "Coming!"
 
suz "I'll come too."
 
"As Suzu looks at me, I find myself slightly pleased by her eagerness. She isn't the type to enjoy going outside and getting exercise for its own sake, after all."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With Hisao deciding the allure of Suzu's game collection was greater than his want to take a walk with us, she, her sister, and I end up making a mishappen trio as we walk along the sunbaked street."
 
"Suzu takes command of Miyu as the dog stops every so often to sniff at this or that, while her sister smokes away with her hands in her pockets. As for me, I continue my reading of a manga I scavanged from her room."
 
mik "Hey, Suzu... why do you like this stuff?"
 
suz "Do you have to insult my tastes all the time?"
 
mik "I mean it, I seriously don't understand."
 
mik "Like, take this one. A girl goes to a cafe, mopes a bit, gets a coffee refill from the waitress, then leaves after they tell each other their names."
 
suz "Ah, that one. I like that chapter."
 
"Her voice lilts a little, the mere thought of it enough to please her."
 
mik "And that's it? There's no more chapters?"
 
suz "It's a short story about hope and budding romance between passing strangers. There are no more chapters."
 
mik "...They told each other their names."
 
"Miyu stops to pee on a flower that apparently deserved a bit of watering. Tsubasa just lets her gaze wander around the houses lining the suburb street. It's almost maddeningly pedestrian."
 
"It probably means nothing to Tsubasa, but after so long living within the school campus and nearby town, what passes for normality takes on a new significance. Maybe that's one of the reasons I wanted to come here beyond Suzu; a chance to live the normal middle-class life I've never had, at least for a time."
 
"I turn out to be a lost cause for Suzu as she tugs at an obstinate Miyu, eventually managiong to get her to walk once more."
 
"Noticing Tsubasa walking a little slower than usual, I match her pace as we end up falling a few more yards behind the other two. Our voices are little more than a whisper."
 
mik "So what's up?"
 
tsu "It really should be dad following this up, but with things as they are..."
 
"Oh, so it's about that. Arrangements regarding medication and other ways of dealing with her narcolepsy have generally fallen to her father to manage. It feels really dumb to need her sister to act as an intermediary, but that's the way things stand."
 
"She starts telling Miyu off for struggling to reach a middle-aged man walking on the other side of the road, making it clear she's not listening in on us."
 
mik "Shoot."
 
tsu "How's she been?"
 
mik "There's one thing I want to tell you, and another I should tell you."
 
mik "It's hardly scientific, but she hasn't been great lately. She's been trying to hide it, too."
 
"The cigarette in her mouth takes on a distinct ownward slant."
 
tsu "Guess I'll report that back to the mothership, then. Her doctor wanted to try a new regime, so I guess it's not working."
 
tsu "What a pain..."
 
mik "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news."
 
tsu "What about you, anyway? You're chipper as always."
 
mik "Can't keep me down for long."
 
"My cheesy grin seems to lighten her mood. It's true that missing a hand causes a lot of day-to-day annoyances, but at least I don't have to take drugs to deal with it. Both of us came off better than Hisao, too."
 
tsu "Thoughts gone to your other comrade?"
 
mik "Yeah. Guy's a bit of a weird one like Suzu, I'm afraid."
 
tsu "Haha, he isn't so bad. Damned shame what happened to him, though."
 
mik "You know about it?"
 
tsu "He told me a while ago. Shitty thing to happen to such a sweet kid."
 
mik "You really need to stop talking like some fifty year-old."
 
suz "She was born fifty years old."
 
"Both of us briefly wonder how much of our conversation Suzu's caught, but she gives no indication of having heard anything untoward."
 
tsu "Being mature is considered a positive thing, Suzu."
 
suz "I am mature. Unlike some."
 
mik "And there's the dig at me. Every bloody time."
 
"Tsubasa just smiles at us as she takes Miyu's leash and skips on a couple of steps ahead, leaving Suzu and I to walk behind."
 
"Suzu opens her handbag, allowing me to deposit the book and take her hand in mine. That that, our trio sets forth once more."
 
"I really could get used to these quiet days."
 
 
END CHAPTER 6
 
 
"With the last day at Suzu's house finally having arrived, there was little doubt at how to spend it."
 
"Thankfully the trip to the beach is a short one from Suzu's house, with she and I squeezed into the back seat of her sister's car along with our stuff, and Hisao in the front. Tsubasa just taps away at the wheel as she drives, her homely hoodie thankfully shirked in favour of a light, airy shirt."
 
tsu "Everyone got everything? I'm not turning back, you know."
 
mik "Yes, mom."
 
"I look to Suzu, her gaze directed out the car window. While she might put on her usual stoic act, it's obvious that the whole affair around her parents has taken its toll on Suzu. If nothing else, at least this trip might take her mind off things."
 
his "Not taking a swimsuit, Tsubasa?"
 
"Come to think of it, Hisao's slipped into using her first name in the last few days. I barely even noticed the change."
 
tsu "You sound disappointed."
 
his "Well..."
 
mik "He's not the only one disappointed, you know."
 
tsu "Not much for swimming, I'm afraid. Just here to cool off from uni for a bit."
 
suz "All you ever think about is your university work."
 
tsu "That's what uni's like, Suzu. Some day you're gonna have to go through all this, too."
 
his "Planning on following your sister into engineering?"
 
suz "What? No."
 
tsu "It's not that bad..."
 
"I kind of want to jump into the conversation, but there's not much I can really say. Far as my mind goes, the end of Yamaku is a full stop. A period at the end of a sentence. I don't have the grades nor work ethic to make it very far."
 
"Suzu just stays quiet, with Hisao and Tsubasa ending up talking between themselves. With Hisao proving a willing audience, Tsubasa tends to talk casually about this aspect of her work and that with him, occasionally wandering into other aspects of her life almost accidentally."
 
"It's charming, for lack of a better term. Hard to tell if she's just using him as a scratching post or genuinely thinks fondly of him, but they seem to enjoy each other's company nevertheless."
 
"It all makes me wonder how they, or any other watching us, would see the relationship between Suzu and I. The question plays on my mind for the rest of the journey."
 
# Timeskip
 
"It takes a bit of a scan to find where Tsubasa's set up the umbrella, towel, and bags, given the multitude of similar little areas set up around the beach's expanse. Looks like it's a pretty busy day, thanks to the good weather and summer holidays."
 
"Parents try their best to lather their kids with sunscreen before they race off to build sandcastles and run about, a few guys have set up a beach volleyball area, and the teenage girls occupy themselves with working on their tans. I suppose I'm already covered, there."
 
"It's Hisao who helps me find the modest camp, having already changed as he stands by it and keeping a watch for us. Tsubasa becomes visible just past him as I walk up, laying back on the towel with her eyes closed as smoke wafts upwards from her cigarette."
 
mik "So this is home base."
 
"As Hisao nods, his gaze moves downwards from my head. I wouldn't mind if it settled on my bust given that he is a guy, especially given the black bikini showing them pretty well, but it's another part of me that he finds trouble with."
 
mik "You don't need to stare, dude."
 
his "Sorry..."
 
mik "Well, it's not like don't know why. You haven't seen my stump without the bandages before, have you?"
 
his "Why do you wear them, though? I can't see any injuries."
 
mik "Looks cool."
 
his "That's it?"
 
mik "Isn't that a good enough reason? It's an improvement over a bare stump."
 
"I shouldn't be too hard on him; assuming I'd done something to myself is reasonable enough. Even if he might still be unconvinced, I'm sure the bandaged look is definitely cooler."
 
"As his eyes move off my stump and pass over the rest of my body, it's obvious he has more than a passing interest."
 
mik "The stump might be new, but you have seen a girl before, right?"
 
his "I was just thinking how all that exercise sure pays off..."
 
"I give a grin and move my hips from side to side, but even as he tries to appear nonplussed, his cheeks come that little bit rosier. He can be a real prude sometimes."
 
mik "You're not half bad yourself, you know."
 
his "Aside from the scar."
 
mik "C'mon, it's just a line. Nobody seriously cares about that."
 
"Something, or more likely someone, catches Hisao's attention as he leans sideways to look past me and waves."
 
his "Oh, hey Suzu."
 
"I turn to greet the girl, dressed in her usual blue and white striped two-piece, but she passes me as soon as I do so. Without so much as a word nor glance of the eyes, she walks straight past the both of us and heads for the water."
 
mik "Hey, Suzu? Suzu!"
 
"She doesn't respond to my voice or waving, putting me off more than a little."
 
mik "I get the feeling she's not happy."
 
his "Is that a rhetorical question? You obviously pissed her off."
 
mik "Huh? How?"
 
his "It's not that hard to see why. You were being kinda flirty."
 
mik "We were just talking..."
 
tsu "He's right, you know."
 
"Tsubasa doesn't even bother to open her eyes as she gives her input, content to expend as little energy today as possible."
 
mik "Alright, fine, I'll go pick her up."
 
# Timeskip
 
"I trudge back to camp with my mission accomplished, Suzu's body held under my right arm. She kicks and struggles a little, but moreso out of obligation than any real attempt to work herself free. Not that she probably could, anyway."
 
suz "Put me down, please!"
 
mik "Later."
 
suz "Now!"
 
"As we reach the two waiting for us, Suzu's protestations give Tsubasa enough reason to finally open her eyes and stare at us. Hisao's expression betrays that he at least half-expected something like this."
 
suz "I'm not a kid, I said put me down!"
 
mik "Why are you being so aggressive all of a sudden? You don't usually complain when I manhandle you."
 
suz "I'm going to have an attack if you keep this up."
 
mik "Good, it'll make you easier to carry."
 
"The smile on my face makes her finally give up, her head drooping in defeat."
 
tsu "Just put her down. You're making a scene."
 
"Oh yeah, we're on a public beach. Looking around affirms that fact, with a few people around us distracted by the goings on."
 
"Content that I've had my fun, I do as he asks and set her back on her feet. I still don't think she was being that reasonable about me and Hisao, but at least this took her mind off it."
 
"Or at least, I think so. She still refuses to smile, holding on to that placid face as always. It seems Hisao has caught on to the same thing, but comes to a different conclusion."
 
his "I guess this would be a bit old hat for you, given you grew up here."
 
suz "What do you mean? I like the beach."
 
his "You certainly don't look it..."
 
"Hoping to help Suzu convey her emotions a little better, I bring my finger around her cheek from behind and poke it into the side of her mouth, dragging the corner upwards."
 
mik "Can't you see? She's smiling. A nice big, happy grin."
 
"Hisao just looks at her with an expression of pity."
 
his "Are you sure you don't have Stockholm Syndrome?"
 
suz "I have wondered."
 
"Assuming whatever that is isn't a positive thing, I give her mouth a couple of tugs to try and make her smile on her own from amusement. Unsurprisingly, she doesn't."
 
"I give up on the idea and let her go, taking a glance around the beach. A good few people have decided to come out and enjoy the sun while it lasts, the place dotted with umbrellas, towels and fold-up chairs of all colours."
 
"Given there's increasingly little room to run about on land, the water seems as good a place as any to start."
 
mik "I'm goin' for a swim. See you losers later."
 
"Sprinting off before they can mount any opposition, I head straight towards the blue expanse."
 
"The water's delightfully warm as I run in, and the surface is relatively calm as well. It's only after getting near waist-high depth that I stop to turn around, urging the others in."
 
"The two take their time, strolling up to the water's edge at a leisurely pace. Suzu skips further in as Hisao, ever the cautious one, stops to carefully gauge the water's temperature with his foot before joining us."
 
suz "You can swim, right?"
 
his "A bit. It's not like I'm going to drown."
 
suz "Good. Probably should've asked you that before."
 
his "What about you?"
 
"Suzu's response is to twist around and take a running dive into the warm, blue water. All we can do is watch as she disappears for a couple of seconds, before floating to the surface a good few meters away with her arms out and head looking back to us."
 
suz "I'll be fine."
 
mik 'I'll be fine', she says."
 
"With that, she goes back to swimming about as the two of us observe."
 
his "She's not half bad."
 
mik "You said it yourself earlier; she did grow up here."
 
his "What about you?"
 
mik "I'm no slouch, even without a hand. There was something else I wanted to mention, though."
 
"He leans in as my voice grows quieter, surely out of Suzu's hearing range as she once again dives below the surface with practiced ease."
 
mik "Keep an eye on her, alright?"
 
his "Sure, but why?"
 
mik "If she has a cataplexy attack and ends up face-down..."
 
"His face drops instantaneously, horribly disturbed by the image. One thing I like about the guy is that he knows when to take things seriously."
 
mik "Yeah."
 
his "I'll keep an eye on her, then. Don't worry."
 
mik "'Atta boy."
 
"I clap him on the shoulder a couple of times as the two of us watch Suzu resurface once more."
 
"It's nice to see her like this, devoting herself to having fun instead of angsting about others. It's rare that she acts so free, barely even noticing us as she she freely flits about in the water."
 
"I'm reminded of how I used to be, before the accident. Just having fun without a care in the world, life's worries being the furthest thing from my mind as I took to the field."
 
"And then life kicked me in the balls."
 
"The cool feeling of water suddenly splashing against my body makes me reflexively brace, the culprit grinning as he brings his cupped hands under the surface of the water and throws another lot of water at me."
 
mik "Son of a bitch...!"
 
"I counterattack with a sweep along the water's surface, flicking a spray of water into his face and sending him reeling backwards."
 
suz "Miki, what are you doing?"
 
mik "Just messin' around."
 
mik "Hey, wanna race? That swimming dock out there'd make a good goal."
 
"I point to the fairly large platform floating a good distance out from where we are now. With nobody between it and us, it should be a clear run."
 
"Evidently agreeing after taking a look, she swims towards us and wades up the final few feet. Suzu's body might not have the same kind of athletic build as mine, but she isn't half bad looking as she confidently emerges from the water and brushes her sopping hair back."
 
suz "What?"
 
mik "Nothin'. You coming too, boy?"
 
his "It's probably for the best if I don't."
 
"He makes an awkward face, with his thumb pointing to his chest. I probably should've remembered that."
 
suz "So out to the platform and back to Hisao?"
 
mik "Sure. Give us a countdown, will you?"
 
his "Alright. Get ready..."
 
"The two of us turn and orient ourselves towards the objective. I think I have an okay chance at this, given how she lazes around at school."
 
his "And... go!"
 
"We spring forwards simultaneously, each of us off to a good start as the water washes over my body."
 
"Suzu might have the advantage in technique, but I have brute force. Pushing myself onward with my somewhat hobbled freestyle, my arms pulling me forwards with every stroke, I can feel the yards rapidly disappearing."
 
"Comfortable with my pace, I take a moment to slip underwater and see Suzu's efforts. The sight I see is just as I'd hoped for."
 
"Her body slides through the water as if she were a native to the sea rather than land. Her hands remain together, pointing the way ahead as her feet flick up and down and body undulates. One could only compare her movement to a dolphin's."
 
"I find myelf captivated by the sight, her lithe body gliding through the deep blue expanse. If only I could see this side of her every day."
 
"As she passes, I stop my gawking and begin racing again in earnest. I can feel every muscle in my body working away as I punch through the water, reefing myself towards the platform with every ounce of strength I have."
 
"I close my eyes and hammer forwards, throwing myself the last few yards towards the goal."
 
"Feeling the wooden barrier brush against my fingertips, I throw my head up out of the water to get my bearings and take numerous deep gasps of air. My muscles feel like they're on fire despite being drenched, desperately needing a moment's rest before going on."
 
"It turns out Suzu has the same idea as she floats with an arm over the side, a couple of seconds being needed to even notice her for my panting. She might've been there even before I arrived."
 
mik "We goin' back?"
 
"She suddenly closes her eyes and pushes her face forwards, pressing her lips to mine with some force. My heart freezes for a moment in shock, not only at the kiss itself, but also her initiative."
 
"It's a jarring sensation, with the water on both our lips intermingling and leaving a salty taste on the mouth. I can't even move, my mind left completely addled by her affection."
 
"Her lips withdraw all too soon, leaving me to recall the sensation fondly. A dumb grin finds its way onto my face, a warm sensation flooding my body."
 
"Perhaps that sensation is what reminds me of the water lapping at my shoulders, my eyes suddenly darting left and right to collect myself and take in my surroundings once more."
 
"Suzu, that little brat, has fled. There's no mistaking it; she's used her feminine wiles to distract me and taken off at full speed."
 
"Torn between despising her for playing such a horrible trick and delight at her deviousness, I bring my feet to the side of the platform and launch myself back towards the beach in hopes of catching her."
 
"The effort needed to reach parity with her speed has worked against me, leaving my body tired from the first leg. Doing my best to ignore the pain, I surge onwards."
 
"It isn't long before she's in sight, and knowing what I have to do, I make one last push to reach her."
 
"I reach out once, but only grab at the water and lose speed. With only one chance left, I make one last lunge and push my hand out once more."
 
"Success comes as I feel the back of her shin in my grasp, one solid tug jerking her body back towards mine and sending her arms flailing."
 
"What follows is a chaotic mess of arms and legs as we struggle in the water. Suzu fights to get her head up and work out what's happening, while I struggle to get a grip on her slippery torso to throw her back, a task made all the harder with only one hand."
 
"I quickly begin to run out of air as we sink further down with our thrashing, my instincts taking command of my body and forcing me away from Suzu towards the surface. Much-needed air fills my lungs as I take a great breath the moment I breach the waterline."
 
"Satisfied that I can still hear her moving about in the water rather than silently drowning, I kick onwards to the shallower waters."
 
"With that, the ordeal is over. With a heave I bring myself to my feet and begin to wade out, dragging my sore legs out and on to the dry land where I belong. Water pours off my back, hair, and shoulders as I lurch forwards like some shambling swamp monster."
 
mik "I... win..."
 
"Hisao doesn't comment as I drop to my knees, my upper body soon following as I flop to the ground in exhaustion. Sand pressed against my cheek and lips, but I don't care. I'm on sweet, sweet land, and that's all that matters."
 
"I hear the splash of Suzu coming up out of the water behind me. I want to gloat, but I'm too tired to do anything right now."
 
his "You okay, Suzu?"
 
"I wait for Suzu's answer, with none forthcoming as I hear her footsteps slowly coming closer."
 
mik "Urk!"
 
"Suzu gives a surprisingly firm stomp to my back, sending me into a choking fit as she huffs and continues on to where her sister's sitting. It's Hisao's footsteps that I now hear come beside me, but thankfully, no abuse from him is forthcoming."
 
his "Was it worth it?"
 
mik "Yeah... totally."
 
"I do my best to sound convincing, but I don't quite think I manage it."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With Suzu and I too pooped to mess around much more, Hisao's gone to explore around the edge of the beach while I grab a few drinks from the nearby vending machines. With my left arm holding the small juice boxes, the walk back to home camp begins."
 
"There's something cathartic about heavy exercise, and doubly so when you do it with a friend. With my energy worked out of me and a pleasant atmosphere in the air as the others on the beach fool around, I can say it's been a pretty good day."
 
"I stop momentarily to avoid bumping into a young boy running across my path, giving a reflexive smile as I do so. Looking back up, I see Suzu and Tsubasa ahead sitting and talking to one another, Tsubasa seated casually with her hands on the ground behind her as Suzu holds her knees to her chest. I almost start moving towards them again, but stop as I faintly overhear the topic of conversation."
 
suz "They put you up to this, didn't they?"
 
tsu "Up to what?"
 
suz "Don't play stupid. Chaperoning us, to keep an eye on me and Miki."
 
"The thought hadn't even entered my mind, but it does make sense. Tsubasa's reluctant pause in answering all but confirms the idea."
 
tsu "Well, it's not like I didn't want to come anyway. I did need a break, just as I said."
 
"Suzu's shoulders slump in disappointment."
 
tsu "Don't worry about mom and dad. I'll sort them out."
 
suz "But they-"
 
tsu "I'll sort it out."
 
"Her tone is as authoritative as it is final, bringing an end to the line of discussion. I want to jump in and lighten things up, but the mood is terribly dour."
 
"Tsubasa thankfully relents, rubbing Suzu's shoulder a little."
 
tsu "Don't be like that. You're having fun, aren't you?"
 
"She nods, which gives me at least a little relief."
 
tsu "You got to see Miyu again, and your dear sister. Just in the last few months you got a romantic partner too, and another friend."
 
tsu "Far as I can see, things are working out pretty well for you."
 
"She looks to Suzu to see how her assurances have gone down."
 
suz "Hey, Tsubasa..."
 
tsu "Hmm?"
 
suz "...Thank you."
 
"The two look at each other for a while, with Tsubasa eventually bringing her arm around Suzu to bring her to her side."
 
"It's a sweet sight, with the sisters sharing a moment between themselves despite all that's gone on. The two don't see each other that often thanks to school, after all, and occupy vastly different social worlds."
 
"But today, perhaps just for a moment, they see eye to eye."
 
"My weight shifts as I begin to run towards them, unceremoniously dropping the drinks in my now cold arm on the towel."
 
"Neither can get a word out before I grab Suzu's forearm, my body continuing forwards and dragging her up from where she was sitting with barely any resistance."
 
suz "Wait, hold on!"
 
suz "I'm still recvovering from what you already did to me! Miki...!"
 
"I look back to her sister as I drag Suzu towards the water line, Tsubasa just smiling as she watches the two of us leave."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With the both of us drained from the day's activities, Suzu and I slowly walk along the beach as Hisao and Tsubasa pack the car. With the both of us changed back into our normal clothes and the sun setting, it feels like an appropriate way to send off a nice day."
 
"Suzu's hand feels warm as she holds onto mine, her soft skin and delicate grasp a harsh contrast to my own."
 
suz "So that's summer holidays over with."
 
mik "Yup. Couldn't have asked for a better end, even if the rest didn't exactly go to plan."
 
"With this, her footsteps stop. Her hand trembles in mine, her grip becoming tight as she tries to steady herself."
 
suz "I'm sorry, Miki."
 
mik "What's there to be sorry about?"
 
suz "It wasn't supposed to be like this. You chose to spend your last summer holidays with me, and this is what you got."
 
suz "I wanted this to be fun for you..."
 
mik "You're bein' dumb again, girl."
 
mik "Is this the face of someone who didn't enjoy herself? Your house is as lively as ever! That's what I like so much about it!"
 
mik "My home's in the middle of nowhere, there's jack-all to do, and the local wildlife doesn't exactly make for good pets. You've got Tsubasa, Miyu, your parents... even if they're not exactly fans of me right now... and we had Hisao around, too."
 
mik "I got to be around all of them, around the people who've raised you and shaped you. That's all I wanted, and I got all of that."
 
suz "What do you see in me to keep trying so hard?"
 
"Now there's a curveball. Now that I think about it, I never really gave much consideration to how I thought of Suzu. I just went along with things, and did what felt right at the time."
 
"I love her, I know that much. She's a genuinely good person, once the veil of cynicism and misanthropy is lifted. How I fit into that... I have honestly no idea."
 
"In frustration, I end up tapping my head with my stump to try and make something drop out."
 
"To my surprise, I turn back to her mirroring the action as if to mock me. I can't help but burst into a laugh, given how dumb it looks."
 
"While she might not do the same, it earns me an amused smile. It only makes me laugh harder in happiness, all the more glad that I've lifted her spirits."
 
"With the two of us basking in each other's joy in the setting sun, I know that I'll ever forget this holiday with Suzu."
 
END CHAPTER 7
 
"With the holidays finally over, the mundane routine of school begins all over again."
 
"Mutou fiddles with the teaching material on his desk, occasionally stopping to scrawl this note or that on the blackboard in preparation for the lesson ahead. While he might hope for a refreshed and eager class of students thanks to our chance to recharge, like every teacher would, I'm afraid he's going to be disappointed."
 
"A few look genuinely ready to go, but most appear either tired from seeing off the holidays with fanfare, or reluctant to even walk in the door as they face months of drudgery after the fun they've just had."
 
"After yesterday's late night trip back to Yamaku, and given my unfortunate allergy to schoolwork, I can safely say both apply equally to me. Bereft of anything else to do, I rock back and forth in my chair while looking to my side."
 
"Suzu sits with her hand in her chin as always, silently turning another page of the manga magazine on her desk. They never provoke much of a visible reaction from her, but she reads so many that she must like them."
 
"While piecing together my uniform from around my dorm room, I'd found the old crumpled-up blouse of the girl's summer outfit. Seeing her in her uniform once again reminds me of it."
 
mik "Hey, Suzu?"
 
"She continues to read the manga with the same bored expression."
 
suz "Yes?"
 
mik "Would you prefer it if I wore the normal girl's uniform?"
 
"I take the fact that she suddenly stops her reading, a page left in the middle of being turned, as a sign that the question's not as banal for her as I thought it might be."
 
"It was only a month or two before I gave up on it after coming to Yamaku, so she's probably never seen me wear it. The arms and bust felt too constricted and uncomfortable, while the men's shirt was much more loose and airy. Then there's that dumb bow."
 
"Suzu turns to me, trying to imagine how it'd look. The fact that her forehead is gathering creases shows it to be a hard task."
 
suz "That would look weird."
 
har "Damn right it would."
 
"The voice behind me turns out to be Haru, waltzing in with his bag held over his shoulder. He looks pleased with himself. Far too pleased."
 
mik "What's with that face? You hook up or something?"
 
har "The only thing better. Workin' at the family bakery over the holidays got me some fat stacks. I'm rich, baby."
 
mik "Awesome, you can pay for dinner!"
 
suz "Can't you buy your own dinner for once?"
 
mik "I can't help it if my allowance is shit."
 
mik "C'mon Haru, we're buddies, right?"
 
"Hisao decides to pick now to enter the classroom, showing some interest in our impromptue little gathering as he comes through the door. Pleased with the development, Haru clears his throat to make an announcement."
 
har "Worry not, children; dinner is on me! Everyone in the track club's welcome!"
 
his "Today's sure off to a good start."
 
har "You can come as well, Suzuki. If you wanna."
 
mik "Don't worry, we'll both be there. Got a restaurant in mind?"
 
har "I know this fantastic place. Best food ever."
 
mik "If it's a bakery, I will hit you."
 
har "Just a quiet little traditional place. Nothin' fancy, just real solid food."
 
# Timeskip
 
"Looking around the numerous low tables and cushions at their sides, Haru's definition of 'little' might be questionable. That might be for the best, though, given the number of track club members that showed up."
 
"The waitress who guided us to where everyone's set up bows out, leaving us to take in the scene before us. Compared to the fracas of the post-track meet celebrations, the mood is much more sedate. I'm glad, not so much for myself so much as Suzu."
 
"Looks like word got out, especially amongst the first-years, as the turnout's a good sixteen or so. The gathering ends up strewn across two tables, having outgrown the one, with the first-years having the numbers to claim their own."
 
"Given the usual amount of sausages at these things, perhaps the biggest surprise is how many of the fairer sex showed up. A good five by my count, which is five more than usual. Even Emi's here, yakking away to the track captain seated next to her."
 
"Perhaps the sheer number is why the teacher in charge of the club showed up, the old warhorse sitting quietly at the end of our table as he sips his carefully guarded beer. Between him, Emi and the captain, Yukio, Hisao, and Haru, our table will be full with the addition of Suzu and I."
 
"With everyone jammed tightly around the table, the only place left for Suzu and I to take a seat is at the end. I take my place next to Haru, with Suzu unsurprisingly ending up on the fringe."
 
har "Hey, you finally showed up."
 
mik "Sorry 'bout that. Someone was busy studying."
 
suz "Sorry."
 
har "Don't worry about it, it's fine! We haven't started eating yet, anyway."
 
"After glancing over our table and noticing a lack of drinks before Suzu and I, a waitress quickly shuffles over to take our orders. With a fairly sparse non-alcoholic menu, both of us take green tea. As she bows and leaves, I take a passing note of her uniform."
 
"Yes, Yuuko's outfit is definitely better."
 
"As she passes by the table of first-year students, it's they who next enter my thoughts. I've seen the others our of the uniforms plenty of times, but this lot are new to me. Despite only being a couple of years younger, their styles as a whole are all subtly different to ours."
 
mik "What's with all the brats?"
 
har "You know how things are when Yukio gets involved. A first year girl heard about it from him, she told her friends, and..."
 
"One of the first-year students from the other table suddenly slips between Haru and I, both of us leaning to the sides to make room for her. The bright purple highlight in her carefully styled black hair is the most striking thing about her, followed by her dark punk-inspired clothing. She's an ostentatious one, if nothing else."
 
"She quickly flips around a small notepad so he can see it, to which he quickly shakes his hand."
 
hur "It's fine, the more the merrier."
 
mik "Hmm? What is it?"
 
"The girl looks to me and dutifully turns her notepad around."
 
yam "[What was that about me and Hasegawa?]"
 
mik "Oh, right. Wait, uh..."
 
"My brief look of confusion at whether she's deaf, and if so, whether she could read my lips, is quickly answered as she points to her mouth and makes a shaking motion with a balled fist. At least being mute wouldn't be as troublesome as being deaf."
 
"The wairtres returns with the tea for Suzu and I, gently placing it down before each of us before bowing and taking her leave. Suzu blows on hers to try and cool it down, while I just leave mine for later."
 
"Evidently wanting to continue the conversation futher, Junko quickly takes out her blue pen and scrawls on the notepad with both astonishing speed and immaculate handwriting. I guess this must be what Shizune's like when she's separated from her bright, bubbly shadow."
 
yam "[Junko Yamada. You must be Miura, right?]"
 
mik "Guess I'm easy to pick out. I like the hair, by the way."
 
yam "[My parents gave me no end of grief for that. It was pretty lame.]"
 
mik "Parents are important. You shouldn't be flippant about them."
 
"The response seems to greatly surprise her. Maybe it's from the way I was brought up, but I've never taken kindly to people who take their parents for granted."
 
"She taps at her pad a few times to try and work out what to say, eventually coming to a satisfactory new topic as she starts writing once more."
 
yam "[Who's the girl next to you? I haven't seen her at the track before.]"
 
"She pokes her head out a little to see Suzu, moving the pad into her field of vision."
 
"Suzu's reaction is to look at me with a slight edge to her expression. Come to think of it, I haven't told anybody about us dating yet, and there's no way she would have. How Suzu wants to play it soon becomes obvious."
 
suz "Suzu Suzuki. We're friends."
 
"I know why she says it, but that doesn't make it feel any better. Am I supposed to keep that lie going to everyone I know for the rest of my time here? Is it even okay for her to make that judgement for the both us?"
 
"Unsatisfied and perhaps a little jilted, I quickly take the pad and pen from Junko before she writes a response, adding my own addendum to what Suzu said before handing them back."
 
"As hoped, she gives an amused snort. Suzu's reaction is markedly less charitable, a silent frustration written to her face. There's no doubt I'm going to pay for this later."
 
mik "Damn..."
 
har "What's wrong?"
 
mik "I got her pissed at me again."
 
"He takes a moment to look at Suzu, but doesn't appear any the wiser for doing so."
 
har "You can tell?"
 
"I hadn't really thought I could read her better than anyone else in particular, but maybe it's true. We've been around each other for a year, after all."
 
"Another scrawled note is held to my side by Junko."
 
yam "[You're different to what I imagined.]"
 
mik "How so?"
 
"The way her face instantly drops makes it obvious she's heard the rumours. She immediately regrets what she's said, but it's far too late to take it back."
 
yam "[I heard that you got into a lot of fights.]"
 
"The temptation to grab Junko and force her to say who told her such things riushes to my mind, but I quickly smother the thought given the number of people around. There's no reason for the newer students to know."
 
"Looking bashful as she taps at her pad trying to work out what to say in apology for getting me riled up, I decide to take pity on her."
 
mik "Well... let's just say people change."
 
"I glance to Suzu to acknowledge her, but she's already back to her tea. I know that she changed me, but despite my best efforts, I'm not sure I've helped her much in return."
 
"It's a shame the conversation got awkward so quickly, but respite comes in the form of two waitresss bring in massive platters of assorted food. Sushi, nigiri, tempura, and various other little delicacies abound. The collective anticipation in the room can be heard from everyone."
 
"Junko gives a nod before retreating to her own table. While she seems a nice enough person, I can't say the conversation left me in higher spirits."
 
"Haru just gives a weak smile to try and cheer me up. I do my best to return the gesture. It's people like he, Suzu, Shizune, and Misha who I owe everything to, after all."
 
# Timeskip
 
mik "I'm dead."
 
"I let myself fall forwards onto the table, my near-bursting gut held in with my hand."
 
"The room is reduced to a quiet background hum after everyone's finished pigging out, simply too full to do much beyond trying to hold the food down. Each table's gigantic platter was followed by another, and this being the track club, that was seen more as a challenge than an offer."
 
"While a scant few sushi rolls are left, salmon by the looks of them, I'd say we did a pretty damn good job. Not helped much by Suzu who, as always, ate like a sparrow."
 
"Determined to make her eat more, I take one of the few remaining pieces and hold it in front of her mouth as she finishes sipping yet another cup of tea."
 
mik "Vroooom, here comes the airplane~"
 
"She looks at me with a despising frown before taking the sushi in her hand and thrusting it towards me. Before I know it, she's got it half into my mouth."
 
mik "Bib I piff you moff?"
 
suz "I feel like the only one with any constraint here."
 
"Giving in to my fate, I push the roll into my mouth with my thumb and force it down. It takes some effort."
 
mik "Probably."
 
suz "You shouldn't feel bad about it."
 
"She answers my questioning look by throwing her head back to where Junko's sitting."
 
mik "It's not like she's wrong. I did some pretty bad things back-"
 
suz "That's exactly why. You did bad things, but that's different to being a bad person."
 
"And again we come to this discussion. On the one hand, I want to just agree with her and wash my hands of everything I've done in the past, taking the weight of guilt off my shoulders. On the other, I don't feel like I have the right to do that. Not when I'm the one who did it in the first place."
 
"It's a lot easier to forgive, than to forget."
 
har "You two enjoy yourselves?"
 
mik "You picked a good place, man."
 
har "Was there any doubt?"
 
suz "It was nice though, thank you."
 
yuk "It sure was."
 
"Yukio pokes his head between Suzu and I, having scooted around to chat."
 
har "Shame we're not gonna be able to do this kind of thing any more, though."
 
yuk "I'm sure we can scrape something together to send us off with closer to graduation."
 
hur "It's not really gonna be the same."
 
"It's weird to see the eternally optimistic Haru looking so down. That, and that damned word 'graduation', makes the gravity of the coming months weigh down on all of us."
 
"The first years will be fine; they've got a good couple of years more to enjoy. Everyone at this table will go their separate ways, into different universities, colleges, and jobs. Then there's the matter of Suzu and I..."
 
yuk "It'll all work out. Haru's got his bakery, Emi and the captain easily good enough to get scholarships, I've got a political science course at a fine university lined up, and I'm sure Hisao will get into a good uni, too."
 
yuk "You've got a good brain up there, don't you Suzuki? I'm sure you could do whatever you wanted."
 
"Suzu just shrugs, not really invested in the conversation as she sips at her tea once more. His judgement of her seems a bit generous, given her relatively average marks in class."
 
yuk "Don't be so humble. Least you're doing better than that lout."
 
mik "Don't start."
 
har "What are your plans anyway, Suzuki?"
 
suz "University, I guess."
 
"Silence reigns as everyone waits for her to say what she intends studying, how good a university she'll try for, what area it'd be in, or anything further in general. All that's to be heard is the chatter from the table behind us."
 
yuk "...Well, I mean, it's good to keep your options open. Something will take your interest if you keep working at it."
 
"Smooth. I'm pretty sure I've heard that exact line from at least a half dozen teachers before, giving their usual generic pep-talks on life after Yamaku."
 
mik "Sounds like you've got it all figured out."
 
yuk "Me? Pretty much. There's still a couple of things I want to wrap up before graduation, though."
 
"The track captain calls out to Haru, holding a camera as he does so. Shouldn't have thought we'd get out of this without a group photo."
 
"With Haru nodding in assent and calling over the first-year students, the captain calls over a passing waitress to take our picture."
 
"Suzu doesn't look thrilled by the idea, but closes her eyes as she realises she's not going to get out of this. No further prompting's needed as I bring my arm around her neck, tugging her closer."
 
"With Yukio reluctantly returning to his seat amidst the chaotic movements and orders being given, we end up with a haphazard arrangement of third-years and the teacher sitting in the front and first-years standing over us."
 
"I can't help but give a wide grin as the waitress's finger comes down on the camera's trigger. Suzu's body is held tight to mine as everyone crushes together to fit into the shot, and the new generation of the track club stands behind, ready to take our places once we leave."
 
"For a brief moment as the camera flash blinds us, it feels like everything really will work out."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With the event over and time marching on, I idly stand around on the dark street outside the restaurant, a slumbering girl held to my back. Only Haru and the teacher are still around, the rest of the students having left by bus."
 
"Our teacher busies himself with moving things from the back seat to the trunk, so that Suzu and I can hitch a ride to Yamaku with him. Haru, on the other hand, slowly reads the long receipt with a remarkably dour face, prompting me to peek over his shoulder at it."
 
har "Man..."
 
mik "Geez. That's pretty much the lot, isn't it?"
 
har "The teacher said he'd help with the cost a bit, but still..."
 
mik "Easy come, easy go."
 
"He just hangs his head. If nothing else, at least he's going to finish his time at Yamaku being venerated as a benevolent god of free food. There are worse fates."
 
"I adjust my hold on Suzu a bit, hitching her up a little further. She's gone a fair while without a nap, so it isn't a surprise it'd catch up with her eventually. I'm just glad she managed to last through most of the dinner."
 
har "Think you'll be alright with Suzu?"
 
mik "I've done this plenty of times before, dude."
 
har "That's not what I'm talking about."
 
"Haru just smiles. After being around each other since entering Yamaku, for good or ill, it isn't a surprise he'd have a pretty good read on me."
 
mik "Everything'll be fine. Somehow."
 
har "I never thought I'd get to hear you say that, after all these years."
 
mik "You gettin' sentimental, boy?"
 
har "No, no."
 
har "...A bit."
 
mik "Well cut it out. It's weird."
 
"He gives a grin and a salute as the teacher calls out for us to get in. Knowing him, we'd better get a move on."
 
# Timeskip
 
"After giving thanks to the teacher for the lift back to Yamaku, and letting Haru go on ahead to the male dorms, I slowly continue the journey to the female dormitories."
 
"The school building looks different of a night, barely lit by the lamps in the grounds out the front. Without teenagers running about and the rooms busy with staff and students, it's little more than an empty shell. It's not creepy at all, but more... lonely. A world without people in it."
 
"But that's how Suzu's world largely was, before meeting me. How someone could live so long without others, whether they liked you or not, is a mystery to me. Maybe that's the reason for her distorted personality; spending so long in her own mind without the company of other people."
 
"As if she'd heard my thoughts, she chooses now to stir. I obediently let her down as she starts to fidget, waiting a little for her as she reorients herself."
 
suz "What did I miss?"
 
mik "Nothin' much. It was winding up when you went to sleep, and the club teacher gave us and Haru a ride back."
 
"We start walking back to the dorm, her hand slipping into mine as we do so. She does her best to look like it's an ordinary thing, but I can tell she's a little brighter than usual."
 
suz "I'm sorry about before."
 
mik "What's there to apologise for?"
 
suz "Calling you a friend."
 
mik "...Yeah, that did kinda hurt."
 
mik "They'll be fine with it, you know. I'm pretty sure a few think I lean that way already."
 
suz "I assumed you were straight."
 
mik "So guys think I'm into girls, and girls think I'm into guys. I'm wounded."
 
mik "If that's true though, why'd you confess to me?"
 
suz "When you said you refused your father's offer in order to stay with my family, I felt..."
 
"She tops herself, too embarrassed to continue as her grip on my hand tightens. Too curious to let her wiggle out of this, I patiently wait for her to continue on."
 
suz "I felt hope. I'd never felt that before, so I ended up clutching desperately at it."
 
mik "You make that sound like a bad thing. When I was thinking about what happened afterwards, that courage you showed made me like you even more."
 
suz "That's..."
 
"Maybe I was coming on too strong, the girl falling silent as we come to the front of the dormitory building and make our way inside."
 
"Both of us squint as we enter the brightly-lit first floor. The common room lies empty as we pass, everyone most likely sleeping by now in preparation for the day ahead."
 
"Coming up the stairs and down the hall to the door of my room, I move to take my hand from Suzu's in order to grab my keys. It proves futile, with her hand refusing to let go of my own."
 
mik "Suzu...?"
 
suz "I don't want to let go."
 
mik "I can't get in if you don't."
 
suz "Then sleep in my room."
 
"It seems Suzu still can't speak about such things in a straightforward way, but even coming that close is a surprise. Her eyes betray her nervousness, as if she might be making a terrible faux pas in asking in such a way. It's probably one of our biggest differences, as I don't really get why she gets so keyed up about it."
 
"With no offense or refusal forthcoming, she gingerly leads on down the hallway."
 
# Timeskip
 
"I open the door with my copy of her key, and the moment Suzu closes the door behind us, I pull her into a tight embrace and press my mouth to hers with all the force I dare use."
 
"Her surprise melts away almost instantly, defensively raised arms dropping loosely by her side as she lets herself be swept up in the lustful rush."
 
"For a flicker of time, it feels like we're both in unison with our emotions. A desperation to affirm our feelings for each other, and to continue what had come to flourish during the holidays. After spending the day suddenly surrounded by so many people now that we're back in Yamaku, this is a time for us, and us alone"
 
"Things are different now. We can't go back. We don't want to go back."
 
"Our kissing deepens as our want for each other redoubles, the feel of her breath brushing against my face as her body remains near-limp, all but surrrendered to my desires."
 
"I pull away with reluctance, as much to gasp for air as take in the sight of her. Suzu's face is dreamy as she looks back into my eyes, breathing heavily as her lips remain just slightly open, as if hoping they were met again."
 
"My shirt and undershirt find themselves dropped to the floor, my temptation getting the better of me after I shirk my jeans as I dive at her neck and collar, licking them to take in her taste. She merely lifts her chin to allow my indulgence, saying not a word."
 
"My lips meet the skin between her breasts soon after, my knees bending as I work my way down. A peck to her left breast is followed by another to her navel, my hand taking hold of herleg and working its way up her supple thigh underneath her dress."
 
"Her shyness makes her hesitate, but I need not ask as she timidly brings her forearms underneath her dress, holding up its front. Her reward is a kiss to her pink underwear, her breath catching in response."
 
"I begin to lap between her legs, teasing her with my tongue through the thin fabric. Her wimpers only drive me on, my want to see her in raptures making he grip her leg all the harder."
 
"As her underwear discolours from her excitement and moans begin to heighten, I tug downward at her panties. Her dainty legs lift one after the other to allow them off, my lapping at the delicate nub between her legs resumed."
 
suz "Miki..."
 
"I move faster and faster, my motions progressively less thought out as my sense of restraint all but leaves me. I want to ravage this body, to make it mine. To see her squirm and moan at my control. I want her."
 
"Suzu's grip on her dress tightens as she desperately tries to control her growing ecstasy, quivering legs and pained expression giving away the growing difficulty. My lips cover her most private area, sucking as I flick her with the tip of my tongue."
 
suz "Aah... Aaaaahn!"
 
"She teeters on the adge of euphoria, but I don't care. I can't stop until I've had my fill of her. Her muscles tighten as she clings on, but as her breathing accelerates, it becomes all but impossible."
 
suz "Ah...!"
 
"Her moan of joy is suddenly silenced, all control of her body lost as her knees buckle from underneath her. I quickly jerk my head back as Suzu's crumples to the ground before me, her upper body thrown forwards with what little energy she has left."
 
"Exhausted, her head lies on my shoulder with hair dishevelled, arms slung around me in a loose embrace as she pants. The sweat on her cheek is cold, gently pressed againstmy own in her near-lifeless state."
 
"But it's not enough. I want more of her. I want every inch of her, my hand taking a hold of her shoulder and pushing her back onto the floor with a thud."
 
"I throw myself on her without a moment's notice, taking hold of her dress and jerking it up. Once, twice, three times I try to reef it off, my reward for succeeding being the beautiful skin of her heaving chest. Her chemise follows without as much of a struggle, leaving her body bare."
 
"With the floor too uncomfortable, I scoop her small body up in my arms, her arms coming up to hide what she can of her breasts."
 
suz "Please, Miki...!"
 
"Her voice more startled than panicked, I step over to her bed and dump her body onto the sheets. She bounces up and down as she lands on the thick mattress back-first, my bra and panties thrown off before I throw myself on top of her."
 
"Suzu's body squirms and wriggles under mine as I force my mouth to hers once more, tongues intermingling as her back arches and feet kick about."
 
"Hair falls past my face as I grope her breast, taking in its softness as the smell of her sweat from the exertion begins to enter the air."
 
"Satisfied, break off and turn on all fours to orient my head between her legs. Suzu seizes the brief moment of freedom as she turns on her side and begins to shufle towards the head of the bed, but her strength leaves her after I fall onto my shoulder and kiss her below the tuft of hair."
 
"Clutching her butt with my hand and bringing my stump over her other side, she surrenders and brings her lips to me. The pleasure as she does so surges through my body like lightening, driving me to pleasure her even further."
 
"Again and again I lap at her, my advances less delicate than those of Suzu. It's wonderful, absolutely wonderful. I can feel my body filling as she holds me, taking in my taste as I do hers."
 
"It isn't long before I feel the pleasure from that spot welling up inside of me, my grip tightening as I begin to lose myself."
 
"Just a little more, just a little further..."
 
"I'm forced to break my mouth from Suzu as the muscles in my neck tighten, a groan coming from deep in my chest as I desperately fight to control the feeling threatening to overwhelm me."
 
"It's no use. I can't hold back, I can't...!"
 
mik "Aaaaaah!"
 
# Timeskip
 
"The cool night air sticks to my skin, the first sensation to return as my eyes blearily flicker open. The plain white ceiling hangs over me, a faint light from the front of the room just barely illuminating it."
 
"I reach out with my hand to feel out Suzu, but I only end up patting at the bed. A brief glance confirms the fact."
 
"Diappointed that I couldn't wake next to her, I sit up and rub my eyes in an attempt to see where she is. Despite still being out of focus, the silhouetted figure staring at her laptop's screen is unmistakable."
 
mik "Suzu...?"
 
"She glances around to see me, her pajamas back on and a blanket draped loosely over her shoulders and back for warmth."
 
suz "Sorry. Did I wake you?"
 
mik "Nah, it's fine."
 
"She did, but I manage to mumble out a half-truth that seems to satisfy her enough to turn back to what she was doing."
 
"Curious, mildly frustrated, and already awake, I have little reason to stay in bed. After looking at Suzu with a disgruntled face as if I might will her back, I give up and throw my legs over the side, staggering up behind her."
 
"On the screen is an unfinished history assignment. My first instinct is to scold her for being overeager, but if her narcolepsy is messing up her sleep patterns again, it's not like there's much else to do in the dark."
 
"Her finger repeatedly taps lightly on a key, only stopping as I drape my arms over her shoulders and bring my head beside hers. I get the feeling she's frustrated, given how she still keeps her focus on the screen instead of me, despite her usual timidity about physical contact."
 
mik "Sorry about being so forceful before. I just kinda let myself go, and..."
 
suz "Hmm? I don't really mind."
 
"The way she says it makes me think she actually rather enjoyed it. So she's that kind of person."
 
"Relieved that I haven't actually annoyed her, the question of what the problem is remains unsolved. Maybe it really is as simple as what's before my eyes."
 
mik "If you're having trouble, just leave it for later."
 
suz "But I know this. It's what I was trying to get done before we left."
 
"I read what she's done already to see if I can be of any help. An essay on the Meiji Era, by the looks of it. The four paragraphs she's done so far look fine, if a little padded in the usual 'meeting a teacher's arbitrary wordcount' way. As for the rest... I haven't even started it myself, so I don't really know."
 
"I remain quiet for fear of disrupting her thought process, though it looks like she's struggling to get out of neutral either way."
 
"The brick wall refuses to move as she wracks her brain, the frustration boiling over as she brings her forehead down to her open palm and grinds against it in annoyance. I can't help but feel sorry for Suzu as her face scrunches up, silently beating against the immovable block in her mind."
 
suz "I know this... I know this...!"
 
"I quickly come to realise that there's little I can do for her, even if I did know more about what she was writing on. The problem isn't merely academic, after all."
 
"If Hisao had his physical prowess torn from him thanks to his heart attack, it's Suzu's intelligence and work ethic that were torn from her by this troublesome condition. No matter how smart she may be, or how stubbornly she may stick to a task, she still hits the wall created by her permanent state of sleep deprivation."
 
"I think over the tak I had with her sister earlier. Perhaps, thanks to that, she might get a new medicine regime that'll work better. It's not like the current one seems to be doing her much good."
 
"She saved me, I have absolutely no doubt of that, yet I can't help her. My heart sinks as I wrap her in a hug, able to do little else."
 
mik "Just come back to bed, Suzu. A fresh set of eyes'll help."
 
suz "But I-"
 
"I clamp my hand over her mouth, having expected her to protest. I feel terrible as her face goes from frustration, to displeasure, and finally, to defeat."
 
"My hand is removed from her mouth. She closes the laptop with a solemn click. Hope for working tonight leaves her."
 
 
END CHAPTER 8
 
"I always feel antsy when Suzu doesn't show up to class, and today is no different."
 
"With lunch nearing and no Suzu in sight, I make up my mind to pass by her dorm room once the break starts. Until then, I have to put up with yet another drawn-out science lesson. While a few others manage to keep at least some attention focused on the blackboard as Mutou scrawls down another chemical reaction, most are beginning to watch the clock instead."
 
"Hisao should be paying full attention and jotting down notes like the good little student he normally is, but he seems just as distracted as I am. Over and over he taps his pen against the page, his gaze unfocused as he stares blankly ahead."
 
"Having caught my rather overt gawking, Misha gives a smile. I quickly turn my head back to the front, lest she become curious about what's going on."
 
"Eventually, thankfully, the school bell heralds the beginning of lunch. The relaxation of everyone in class is plainly obvious, even if it isn't spoken. It's no surprise that Mutou gives up on any prospect of keeping the lesson going, bidding us to have a good lunch as he collects up his teaching material."
 
"As the class begins to file out into the hallway, Hisao does the same. Curious if he knows aything, I follow him out."
 
mik "Hey."
 
his "Oh, hey."
 
mik "You don't look happy to see me."
 
his "Just a lot going on right now. I'll tell you later."
 
"He tries to leave, but I quickly turn behind him and throw my left arm around his neck without warning. With his neck caught in the crook of my elbow as I hold it tight with my right hand, he's completely immobilised."
 
his "Miki... What are you...?"
 
mik "You didn't think you were gonna get out of it that easily, did ya?"
 
"He uselessly bats at me and grabs at my arm."
 
his "Let go... I can't..."
 
mik "You gonna tell me what's up, then?"
 
his "Fine, fine! Just let me go...!"
 
"I release my gip on Hisao, letting him recuperate for a few moments as he catches his breath and rubs his neck."
 
his "I swear being around you is going to take years off my life..."
 
mik "So, what's the story? I'm guessing this is about Suzu."
 
his "Yukio... confessed to Suzu."
 
"Oh boy."
 
his "Suzu rejected him, of course. The problem is that he didn't take it very well."
 
mik "This is about me, isn't it?"
 
"Hisao reluctantly nods."
 
his "Apparently he's been angry with you for a while, and now that all this happened, he let it all out on her. It was a complete mess."
 
"I feel a familiar sensation beginning to run through me. Images of Yukio berating Suzu over my failures as a person come to mind, lashing out at her after bottling up his feelings."
 
mik "Were you there?"
 
his "If I had been, I might've been able to do something. All I can do now is try and smooth things over."
 
mik "With Suzu?"
 
his "Yukio. He was still pretty pissed, so I was going to try and calm him down first."
 
"So he hasn't had enough. Fair enough; if he wants to settle the score with me, then that's just what I'll let him do."
 
"I walk past Hisao and start down the hallway, knowing full well where the ass would likely be. My blood is already boiling in anticipation."
 
mik "You go talk to Suzu. I'll deal with Yukio."
 
his "Wait, Miki...!"
 
#Timeskip
 
"Striding past the line of trees separating the track from the school gardens, it doesn't take long to pick out Yukio given the few people milling about."
 
"He looks downcast as stands around, venting at someone with his arms crossed. So occupied is he, that he doesn't notice me walking up until I'm on the track and facing him."
 
yuk "What are you doing here?"
 
"The way he addresses me, in both his angered expression and acidic tone of voice, only makes me even more pissed off with him. This is all his fault, what the Hell reason does he have for looking at me with such disdain."
 
"The guy he was talking to backs away. He'd have been around long enough to know how this will probably turn out."
 
mik "Giving you a chance to notice me so this doesn't count as an ambush."
 
"The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. Yukio seriously thinks he can win this? He almost looks like he's looking forward to it."
 
yuik "So you've come to put me in my place, huh? Work off some stress?"
 
mik "You know what you did."
 
yuk "Me? I only told Suzu what I thought of her getting hitched to-"
 
"His annoying nasally voice is cut short as my fist meets the front of his face square-on. It's little more than a quick jab to make him shut his mouth, but it's enough to send him staggering backwards."
 
"Shock is written to his eyes as he stares back, his fingers brushing underneath his nose upon feeling blood trickling down. What did he think was going to happen if he talked to me like that?"
 
"Several people who'd been doing club activities walk over, the flurry of activity having piqued their curiosity. One reaches out in an attempt to help him, but gets batted away as Yukio notices the red stain on his fingers."
 
yuk "You...!"
 
"He suddenly moves forward with surprising speed, letting fly as he raises his fist."
 
"Caught unawares by the speed he's apparently capable of, his swing at my face lands with a fair emount of force, sending my head jerking to the right."
 
"But I know what to do. No, my body knows what to do. Still dazed by the blow, I reflexively raise my arms in front of my face as a shield. Even without a hand, my left arm is more than capable of this much, the forearm absorbing his next punch."
 
"It's obvious from his face that he has no idea what he's doing, simply flailing about in a violent rage. With my senses returned and Yukio on the back foot as he shakes his sore hand, now's the time to counterattack."
 
"I drop my right knee as he starts another wild swing, his balled fist sailing over my shoulder as I drive my own into his undefended stomach."
 
"He hadn't braced at all as it drives deep into his torso, forcefully pushing the air from his lungs. Spit and a pathetic groan escape from his mouth, his stunned face frozen as his body tries to comprehend what's just happened to it."
 
"There's no doubt he can't possibly fight back, confused and disoriented as he stumbles, arms tightly crossed around his pained stomach as he reflexively doubles over."
 
"The boy lurches towards me for whatever reason as he begins to right himself, earning a powerful swing at his head in hopes of dropping him. It has the intended effect, his body sent sprawling to the ground as my knuckles smash into his cheek."
 
"This isn't enough. He won't learn from this. I have to make this final and irrefutable in his idiotic head."
 
"I drop to my knees, following him to the ground and straddling his chest. The look of absolute fear in his eyes as he realises the situation only drives me on. This is what I want. This is the emotion I want him to feel, to remember long after this ends."
 
"He raises an arm over his bloodied head, but it's in vain. I twist my entire upper body as I ready the blow, my fist flying downward at him with all the force I can muster."
 
"The feeling of impact ripples up my arm and floods my entire body. All prospect of defense deserting him as the strength leaves his arm, but it isn't enough. He deserves this. This repugnant being deserves this. Why shouldn't I enjoy teaching bad people like him a lesson?"
 
"I pull back my arm, slamming it into him once more. I can feel my face distorted by the wild grin my mouth has twisted into. This is fun. He'll remember me for this. He always will. He'll never forget how it was his fault this happened."
 
"He'll never forget how powerful I am compared to him. That's what truly matters. He's a bug. That's all he is, an ugly little bug under my foot. And now, he'll never forget it"
 
"I pull my fist back, my knuckles covered in a mix of his blood and dirt from the ground. This bug can't even defend itself now. It's at my mercy. I can stomp on it as much as I want!"
 
"Again my knuckles slam into the broken face below me, eyes rolling about with each catastrophic blow. The blood running into its throat giving a slight gurgle with each ragged breath taken. So what if I'm stupid? So what if I lost everything? I'm stronger than this bug. Nothing could be better than this feeling."
 
"But as my arm flies down at the bug beneath me for another hit, it suddenly stops."
 
"I try to pull back and punch once more simply due to the adrenaline coursing through me, but only afterwards do I realise that someone's firmly grabbed my arm."
 
mik "Let go-!"
 
"Rage begins to fill my mind as another hand comes around my right armpit, followed by another set of hands taking a firm grasp of my left arm. I jerk my body with all my might, but the groaning body beneath me slowly becomes smaller and smaller as I'm dragged off it."
 
mik "Let go! Let go of me!"
 
"Try as I might, I can't escape their grasp. Flicking my head around as I desperately try to work myself free reveals my captors to be Haru and Hisao, likely the only two track club members who'd ever dare approaching me in a fight."
 
"They manage to pull me a few yards away with some difficulty, holding me fast as help finally comes to Yukio. It pisses me off to see him still awake, dribbling blood as slowly staggers to his feet with the help of another guy who was hanging around."
 
"He very barely manages to stay on two feet, practically held up by the one who aided him, but that doesn't stop him staring me down through half-closed eyelids."
 
yuk "Happy now? You... really put me in... my place..."
 
mik "Don't you feel sorry, you asshole!? How can you do that to someone you pretend to like!"
 
yuk "And let her go... to some violent bitch... like you?"
 
mik "I'm not like that any more! That was years ago!"
 
"Somehow, to the surprise of damn near everybody, he breaks out into laughter. A warped, pitiable laughter. Tears begin to stream down his bruised cheeks, face twisted in impotent rage."
 
yuk "Look at you! Look at you!"
 
yuk "How can you say you've changed!?"
 
"I feel my arms drop to my sides, Hisao and Haru having let go. I only notice now that I haven't been struggling for a while, but try as I might, I can't find the will to move at him."
 
"This... is what I wanted, right? I did what I set out to do, after all. He made Suzu sad by ranting at her. He deserved this. I can't let myself be distracted from that."
 
mik "I...!"
 
yuk "I, I, I, that's all you ever thought about, isn't it?"
 
yuk "I did everything right! You only ever hurt everyone around you! Now you waltz around like you're a different person?"
 
yuk "You never changed! You think everyone can forget what you did!? Fuck you!"
 
"With his fury seemingly spent, he simply hangs his had and shakes it from side to side. He's mentally and physically defeated, reduced to weeping pathetically in front of everyone who's gathered for the spectacle."
 
yuk "It's not fair... It's not fair..."
 
"All he can do is repeat the sorry mantra. Snot and blood drip onto the ground from his nose, his shoulders occasionally jerking as he tries to hold it back. Nobody says a word."
 
"His fists tighten as he speaks, his knuckles becoming white. Just as I realise what it means, his shuddering body lurches forward, slipping from the grasp of the guy next to him."
 
yuk "Someone like you doesn't deserve happiness!"
 
"He screams the words as he surges towards me, the intense pain that much be wracking his body all but forgotten in his blind fury."
 
"Yukio's arm rears back over his shoulder as he prepares for as hard a blow as he can manage. I should probably raise my arms to defend myself right about now. Maybe evade to the side and dodge the blow."
 
"But I don't care any more. All I can do is stand there and watch his fist moving through the air as his words reverberate in my mind."
 
"Someone like me really doesn't deserve happiness."
 
"With that, my world goes black."
 
# Timeskip
 
"I've always hated the nurse's office. The smell of bleach and strong cleaning agents, the pure white light flooding the room, the way everything is so immaculately clean and perfect... it's unnatural."
 
"A familiar metallic taste plays on my tongue as I wake from my rest. Tapping at the small gauze patch placed over where it's split shows that it isn't doing a great job of stemming the bleeding. Passing my hand over my aching cheek, it seems that's started swelling up, too. Never would've expected that asshole to throw a decent punch."
 
"While I might be content to stew in my discontent, it seems some people have other ideas. As my head lazily lulls over to the side to see the office, I find pair of legs in front of my vision, one knee smartly brought over the other as two hands sit atop them."
 
"Shizune looks down at me past her glasses, her stare more analytical than judgemental. Glancing around, it looks like she and I are the only ones here right now."
 
mik "Of all the people to greet me, it had to be the one I can't even communicate with..."
 
"She produces a notepad and pen from her lap, placing them both on my chest before resuming her previous posture."
 
"Ah, I see. By giving me these without telling me what to write, she wants to see how I'll explain myself."
 
"Given that I can't see any way of talking my way out this, I sit up with a pained grunt and set the pad in my lap. Knowing my voice to be useless here, I silently scrawl away in my usual horrid handwriting, giving the items back to her afterwards."
 
mik "[I fucked up.]"
 
"She quickly writes her short reply, our method of communication settled as she hands the nodepad and pen back."
 
shi "[It would seem so.]"
 
"So she want to be my scratching post. While I can't say her presence thrills me, at least she's not going to give me a lecture."
 
"Writing like this to talk between each other forces you to think before you say anything. It's not natural for me, so I end up keeping my side of the conversation brief."
 
mik "[Mutou put you up to checking on me?]"
 
shi "[Your cynicism is duly noted, but I came of my own accord.]"
 
mik "[How much do you know?]"
 
"She just looks at me disapprovingly before handing the notepad straight back. Right, stupid question."
 
mik "[Am I done for?]"
 
shi "[That hasn't been decided yet. Suffice to say, you are not a popular person right now.]"
 
"That's fair enough; expelling a student is hardly a quick process. The idea fills me with dread, but after having been so graciously given a second chance when the entire staff were so set against me, I don't feel that I have any right to argue against it."
 
mik "[I guess your little project went pretty bad, huh?]"
 
"Woah, she's actually pretty scary when she's pissed. I shrink back into my bed as she furiously scribbles, gingerly taking the notepad and pen as she thrusts them at me. It seems to have been somewhat cathartic, as she settles down a but after huffing in displeasure."
 
shi "[I didn't defend you back then out of mercy or some desire to play student counsellor. I felt the attitude of the teachers towards you was unjust. Which students were involved doesn't matter.]"
 
"So I'm nothing special to her, but just another person who happened to be unfairly treated. In a way, that actually makes me like her a little more."
 
"Evidently sick of waiting for me to make a response, Shizune takes back her notepad once more."
 
shi "[You should stop thinking about yourself.]"
 
"Shit, Suzu! There's no way word about all this wouldn't have reached her by now. There's also the fact that probably damn near half the school knows about the two of us being together as well thanks to Yukio's big mouth, despite her wanting to keep it on the down-low."
 
"Noticing my regret, Shizune quickly adds more text."
 
shi "[Suzuki also came to check on how you were. I don't think I need to explain her reaction.]"
 
mik "I really did fuck up..."
 
"Of all the people I never wanted to hurt, she was at the top, but I couldn't even manage that. She offers me the notepad, but there's little point in taking it."
 
shi "[If there's nothing else, I'll leave you in peace.]"
 
mik "[Thanks for bothering to come, and give Misha my regards.]"
 
"I manage, somehow, to eke out a smile. Satisfied, she picks herself up and begins to leave with a curt bow, though holds up one final note after a brief moment of thought."
 
shi "[If you wish, I'll tell Suzu you're okay. I have no intention of meddling in your relationship any further, mind.]"
 
"I know it's the easy way out, but I swallow my pride and give her a nod. I can't even think of what I'd tell her, after all."
 
"As Shizune closes the door behind her, I let myself fall back into my bed."
 
"I guess this means Suzu's seen with her own eyes how wrong she was."
 
"So what if I made myself useful to her or not? I spent so long trying to distract myself from the crap I'd done, that I pushed aside all those I'd caused pain to. What right do I have to ask for forgiveness, when I was the one who inflicted all of this the first place."
 
"'There's no such thing as good people or bad people.' What a load of idealistic rubbish."
 
"In the end, I was right. I really am a horrible person."
 
END CHAPTER 9
 
 
"Today, the weather turned bad."
 
"The sound of rain hitting the window mixes with the tinny pop music in my left ear, the girl in my lap having the other earbud. It's not a terrible way to spend a lazy evening, to be honest."
 
"The MP3 player lays on the tatty upturned box in my room as it blares away, Suzu tapping away on her phone while sitting in my lap. She'd never have let me watch her browsing her Intenet sites before, so I count it as a small success in gaining her trust."
 
"Discussing some show on a message board doesn't seem all that exciting, but at least it means she's socialising more than it appears within school."
 
mik "You sure spend a lot of time on the Internet. You always talking to people like this, or what?"
 
suz "Some of the time. Most of my friends are online, after all."
 
mik "Ah, so you're still in contact with your friends from when you were younger. That's pretty nice."
 
suz "I mean I know them online. I've never met them in person."
 
mik "That's kinda different to real friends, you know."
 
suz "They are real friends. Why does it matter if I don't see them?"
 
mik "Well... I mean..."
 
"What she said is so foreign to me that I struggle to actually come up with a counterargument. How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone you've never met?"
 
mik "It just doesn't seem the same."
 
suz "You're really old-fashioned sometimes."
 
"Like so many of our conversations, this one peters just the same with little satisfactory conclusion. As much as I might try to build bridges between our different lives, they never quite seem to meet in the middle."
 
"But then again, it's always been like that. Maybe I was hoping that going out with her might change things, but Suzu still feels as impenetrable as ever. After such a long time staying so intensely private, the door to let others inside has become jammed."
 
"Then again, given recent events, maybe this is a bad time to reflect on her social skills."
 
"While I may have avoided the wrath of my teachers beyond a long period of detention, ostracization was much harder to escape. In the minds of those who knew me, every idea they had about my real nature was validated. To those who didn't, I was simply deemed trouble that was best avoided."
 
"Suzu's a solitary person to begin with, but I can't imagine she's oblivious to the weird atmosphere around us now. Any idea of peacefully coasting along to graduation has been ruined, all thanks to Yukio and I."
 
"If I hadn't fought him, if he hadn't goaded me onward, if he hadn't confessed, if I'd mentioned our relationship, the amount of 'if's that came before where we are now is endless."
 
"The sound of a hand rapping on my door breaks me from my thoughts. I'm almost thankful."
 
mik "It's unlocked!"
 
"Two pairs of feet shuffle into the room, their owners revealed to be Haru and Hisao. The former waves, while the latter holds up the pack of cards he's carrying."
 
har "'Evening."
 
suz "Hi."
 
mik "Hey. Looks like you two came prepared."
 
har "Not like there's much we can do outside. Up for a game of poker?"
 
mik "Sure. Suzu?"
 
"She just nods. With something to do having finally arrived, I take out the earbud and loosen my grip around Suzu's waist. She takes her cue to wrap up the earphone cable around the MP3 player, put away her phone, and shuffle around to the side of the box as Hisao and Haru take their places around it."
 
"Waiting on Hisao to finish clumsily shuffling the deck, I can't help but feel that what Haru says is little more than a pretext to check up on us, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing."
 
mik "Oh, right. We bettin' anything?"
 
suz "I don't have any money on me."
 
his "We're not betting real money. Good grief."
 
"How boring. Being such a stickler for rules is one of his worse traits."
 
"It's eventually agreed that we'll bet using small scraps of torn-up paper as tokens, an old unused worksheet being sacrificed for the task. Hisao ends up the dealer by virtue of already having the pack, doling out a set of cards to each of us."
 
"Receiving my cards, I take a look. Three of a kind, but low. Not the worst hand, I guess."
 
har "Guess the dry spell was just the weather preparing to dump it all in one go."
 
mik "It's sure comin' down hard."
 
"Looking to Hisao to try and get a read on his cards, I find him already glancing at us."
 
mik "What's with you?"
 
his "I was just thinking how you two are all over each other these days."
 
"It's natural, isn't it? With everything feeling like it's slipping out of my control, I want to stay close as I can to what I still hold dear. Given her unusual comfort with being physically close, I've little doubt she thinks the same way. Even as I hold her, it feels like she might slip from my grasp at any moment."
 
suz "Is that bad?"
 
mik "You need to quit assuming the worst of what people say."
 
"Suzu accepts the scolding without word, making me feel a little bad. Whether to comfort her or myself, I give her head a little rub. She seems to like it when I do so, at least as far as I can tell."
 
"As the game continues on, the elephant in the room is finally addressed. It was going to be either Suzu or I who brought it up, and it turns out to be her."
 
suz "What happened to Hasegawa?"
 
"Suzu's gaze is focused on her cards, my own looking to the other two with us. It's strange to see Haru so uncomfortable, Hisao ending up having to give the news."
 
his "Just keeping to himself, really. Ended up leaving the club."
 
"He says the second part with all the gravity of the first, as if such a thing hardly mattered."
 
"Yukio never did have that much attachment to the club compared to most of the others, but it's still an unwelcome surprise. While his face may eventually mend, his pride would be another matter."
 
"Perhaps Yukio's departure is what makes breaking my own news somewhat easier."
 
mik "To be honest.. I've been thinking of quitting the club as well."
 
suz "What?"
 
"Three pairs of eyes round on me in shock."
 
his "Did the teachers tell you to, or...?"
 
mik "No, nothing like that. It's just, after everything that happened..."
 
mik "Besides, I can spend more time with Suzu this way."
 
"I feel like I'm spluttering out excuses, but I've no reason to considering who I'm with."
 
"There's no point in continuing to push myself. I've done enough damage already, and it's clear that I'll never fit in with the others any more. It's one thing to get in a scrap or two, but another to make past events return to people's minds."
 
"I look to Suzu expecting a smile in return for my thinking of her, but she just calls out that she wants to fold instead. As impenetrable as ever."
 
har "Geez. I mean, it is up to you, but isn't that kinda overdoing it? The club ain't gonna be the same without you around."
 
suz "If you're doing this for me, then don't."
 
his "Seriously. There isn't that much time left, so why not stick around until graduation?"
 
mik "I appreciate you tryin' to keep me, but it's seriously fine."
 
mik "I'm folding, by the way."
 
"There's a moment of confusion before everyone realises that we were actually playing poker. With everyone folding but Hisao, he nets himself a nice little haul of tokens."
 
mik "You sure you don't want to put money on this, Hisao? You're actually pretty good at it."
 
"He shrugs simply."
 
his "Card games are just probability puzzles."
 
har "Easy for you to say..."
 
"Looks like Haru's down to his last couple of tokens, and it's the same for me. Suzu's managing to hold her own, but it's clear who's dominating the game."
 
"Hisao checks his watch, frowning at the result. I suspect that we have our winners and losers decided for the night."
 
his "We'd better wrap this up. It's getting late."
 
"Haru looks reluctant, but after glancing at his own watch, he comes to his feet."
 
har "Man, I was so close...
 
har "Well, whatever. See you guys tomorrow, 'kay?"
 
suz "Good night."
 
mik "See ya. If you see Yukio..."
 
"Then what? Say sorry for me? I still feel like he was in the wrong. Even saying hi to him would feel weird, though."
 
mik "Just make sure he's okay, will you?"
 
"A nod from Haru is the response, the last of the playing cards being shovelled into the packet after Hisao and Suzu finish collecting them off the box."
 
"The two take their leave, Hisao giving a friendly wave goodbye as he does. If they did come to check on how we were doing, I wonder if they were happy with what they found."
 
"Suzu lets herself fall back and closes her eyes, chest heaving from her tired sigh. Being around people sure takes a lot out of her."
 
mik "You awake?"
 
suz "Yes."
 
mik "I'm sorry. About Yukio, that is."
 
suz "It's not your fault."
 
mik "It is my fault; I started that fight."
 
suz "There's no point crying over spilled milk. It was going to happen eventually."
 
mik "What do you mean by that?"
 
suz "Nothing. Go and take a shower."
 
mik "C'mon, why are you being like that?"
 
suz "Because you stink. We can talk afterwards."
 
"I raise an arm and take a sniff. I guess I have been more anxious than usual during the day, given all that's happened."
 
"Giving up without an argument, I stand and begin to fossick around my room for wherever my pajamas gave gotten to."
 
mik "You should probably head back to your own room sometime, too."
 
"With no reply forthcoming, I pause and look back to her. Eyes still closed, a few seconds pass as I wait for any kind of response."
 
suz "I want to stay with you tonight."
 
"I guess that's that, then."
 
# Timeskip
 
"The warm water of the shower brings to mind the hot baths I used to enjoy back home. It's exactly the kind of relaxation I needed."
 
"So much so that I can't help but yawn. Suzu's sleep schedule might be messed up, but for those of us with a normal sense of time, this is getting pretty late. I end up just standing around more than actually washing, enjoying the peaceful solitude."
 
"What Shizune said, or wrote, stuck in my mind. Maybe I am selfish; I have tended to think about what I enjoy over what others might think of me or want they to do. I've tried to fix that, though. I've tried to make everyone happy, and especially so for Suzu."
 
"But have I managed that? It seems that things are worse than ever since Suzu and I became an item. We may still not see eye to eye on when we should've come out, not that it matters now, but aside from that's it's hard to find fault with her."
 
"Shizune may have told me not to think so much about myself, but it's hard not to when it feels like I'm the root of so many people's problems."
 
"Past the sound of the running shower, the sound of someone opening the door and closing it behind them can be heard. Unusual for anyone to be taking a shower this late, so much so that I open the stall door and poke my head out to see if it's who I think it is."
 
"The girl's body isn't hard to make out past the light fog, her arms awkwardly positioned as she fights against her embarrasment."
 
"My first thought is that Suzu's just going to take a shower as well, but I find myself stepping backward in sheer startlement as she advances. With every step I take being matched, the two of us end up packed into the one stall with the door left hanging open."
 
"Suzu's initiative is charming, but try as I might to play it off with some witty comment, I feel so uncomfortable that the words don't come. The way she just looks ahead, not reacting at all to the shower's water now pouring over her, is offputting. She's also said before that she hates how hot I run my water."
 
mik "Suzu... what's going on?"
 
"The words seem to stir her into action, arms wrapping around my back as she lips come to mine. It doesn't take long for me to reciprocate, my resistance melting away as our tongues intermingle."
 
"Her wet body feels wonderful, my hands running over the nape of her neck, her impossibly smooth back, her petite butt, every inch of her that I can get my hand over. I can't get enough of this feeling, out bodies pressed against one another and simply taking in each other's forms."
 
"Suzu really is beautiful, in a way that I could never be. Even when I was young I never looked as cute as she, her silky, near unblemished skin telling of a pampered life so unlike my own."
 
"But that in itself makes me think back to what I'd been ruminating over. Suzu is gentle, unlike my brutish nature. She doesn't see the world as I do, nor has she experienced the hardships I have. What worth do I have, in her eyes?"
 
"I break from our kissing, but before I can say a word, her head lowers. A peck to the collar, before working her way down to my right breast. She plays at it with her mouth, sucking at it, kissing the nipple, teasing and caressing it with her tongue."
 
"A moan escapes my lips, hurridly stifled in the case someone outside may hear. I don't want to think about anything other than Suzu. Just now, just for this moment, I want to think only of her. I desperately try to turn off my mind and let myself drift along with the pleasure she's trying so earnestly to give me."
 
"Her lips move downward, her hands on my sides slipping downward with her. She holds her face so close to me that it might almost be touching, as if observing every detail as closely as possible. A kiss to my toned stomach follows, then to my bellybutton, then to my lower hair, and finally..."
 
mik "Ah..."
 
"She kisses my nub before beginning to tease it with her tongue, her movements less careful around the area than when we've done this before. My advice for her to be less gentle seems to have taken as she pleases me, lapping up both my moisture and the water flowing over me as she goes."
 
"I just stroke her hair, basking in her adoration as she looks up at me expectantly. Perhaps it's the excitement of her coming onto me, or of us doing this in the showers, but either way I can't get enough of her."
 
mik "Like that... just keep going..."
 
"She obeys me without complaint, now keeping her motions even as she sucks and flicks at me with the very tip of her tongue. The tide of euphoria starts rising without receeding, my muscles relaxing as I let myself get carried away."
 
"Almost by surprise, a sharp spike in pleasure floods through me. I desperately hold on to the thread as it so nearly slips my grasp, my breathing accelerating as I feel the end so quickly approaching."
 
mik "Suzu... Suzu...!"
 
mik "Aaahn!"
 
"My mind blanks as the bliss of climax washes over me, every sense forgotten as I focus on that most wonderful feeling."
 
"But all too soon, it leaves me. The water running over my body, Suzu's hands holding my thighs and butt, those beautiful eyes of hers with their mix of happiness and timidity; it all returns, with each as comforting as the last."
 
"Suzu stands back up, holding me tightly. It's far from unappreciated, as even now the feeling of her against me feels somehow more vivid than ever. My hand sinks tightly into her skin, pressing us together as tightly as I can."
 
"Taking a hold of her shoulder, I pull back to twist her body around, pulling her back against me and holding her once more. She doesn't protest as I kiss her shoulder, nor as I grope her breast while holding my stump across her stomach."
 
"My hand ventures downward until sliding between her legs, Suzu's breath catching as I begin to message her."
 
"Her body relaxes in my arms as I do so, her flustered face visible in the mirror ahead as I circle and stroke with my finger. I don't think she realises I can see her reflection, the expression on her cute face twisting and turning as I fiddle with her."
 
"Wanting to push her excitement further, I take my hand from her and reach behind me for the still-running showerhead, twisting it from its holder."
 
suz "Miki, what are you doing?"
 
mik "Quiet..."
 
"My words do little to settle Suzu, but her curiosity and my grip on her provide a persuasive enough counterargument as she falls silent."
 
"I lower the showerhead slowly, allowing her time to prepare herself before, finally, it reaches her most tender spot."
 
suz "Aah..."
 
"She sounds more pained than anything as the water hits her, the initial stimulation proving to be too much."
 
"Without another hand to adjust the strength of the flow, I simply hold her close and move the spray in a stroking motion over her groin, hoping to ease her into it."
 
"The moans escaping her lips tell of the pleasure starting to overcome Suzu, the showerhead now held steady. I can't help but smile as she begins to lose herself, succumbing to the joy I'm giving her."
 
"With one hand on my thigh and the other holding my own, she throws her head back. With her mouth so close to my ear, I find myself getting carried away by the sound of her desperate whimpering."
 
suz "Miki, I... Aahn!"
 
"Her body freezes as she reaches the end, eyes shut tightly as she lets herself drown in the sensation."
 
"All too soon, it passes. I let the showerhead drop to the floor and clutch her tightly, lest she fall in her relaxed state. The glow of climax lingerings, with a long, satisfied breath passing her lips."
 
"My hand digs into her skin as my mind starts to dwell. This isn't not enough; I want to push her further."
 
"I lift her just enough to allow myself to walk forwards, stepping forward as best I can."
 
suz "Miki... what are you...?"
 
"Reaching the counter ahead, I let Suzu drop and thrust her forward. She has no opportunity stop herself before her legs hit the side, sending her top half sprawling forwards."
 
"As Suzu's body flops over the counter with a wet thud, her arms splaying out and hands gripping at the slippery surface, she manages to pick herself up and look behind her in surprise. The expression on my face is no doubt telling of what's about to happen."
 
"I wordlessly push her back down with my stump, Suzu's chest pressing against the counter once more as she looks back down in submission. A shiver of excitement runs through me as she does so, knowing that she's surrendered her body to my wishes."
 
"By now, only the lightest brush is needed to make her groan as I scoop my right hand between her legs, her whimpers full of renewed lust as my fingers begin to move back and forth, around and around."
 
"As I stand behind her, I toy freely with Suzu's body as I bask in the sight of her consumed by desire at my hand. Suzu has rather nice legs, now that I can see them from this angle, and the arch of her back is a wonderful sight."
 
"Driven onward by the sight, I bring two fingers together and end my playing with her nub. Her body jerks forwards in response to my penetrating her, her barely-constrained whimpers peaking sharply in volume and pitch in surprise."
 
"I'm slowly coming to understand what she enjoys, my moistened fingers drumming against those areas she gives the most reaction to. "
 
suz "Aah... Miki, please..."
 
"Her voice takes on an almost alarmed edge, my movements going faster to unsettle her further. At this moment, her body is mine. Even now she'd be approaching the end, her fingertips pressing at the counter with ever more force to try and restrain herself."
 
suz "Aaah..."
 
suz "Miki, I can't... please... I'm going..."
 
"The reason for the strange lilt to her voice is lost on me for scant couple of seconds, before it becomes all too obvious."
 
"All control of her muscles leaves Suzu, her arms that had been clutching at the counter going limp, and head dropping. I barely have time to step back as her knees buckle and collapse from beneath her, sending her body slipping off and falling towards the ground."
 
"Caught completely by surprise, I barely manage to catch her wet body. Her slipperiness makes it impossible to stop her falling, the only thing I can do being to hold her to me and letting myself drop with her."
 
"The two of us end up sprawled on the floor, Suzu's limp figure awkwardly perched in my arms as I sit on the tiled floor. My butt hurts, but that's the least of my worries."
 
"She doesn't seem to be hurt, thank goodness. Bringing my arm around her back and slowly lifting her up into a more sensible position, I hold her limp body against me as delicately as I can manage. If it's a cataplexy attack as I imagine it is, she'd still be well aware of what's going on."
 
mik "I'm sorry, Suzu. I got carried away. I'm really, really sorry."
 
suz "It's okay..."
 
"She manages to mumble the words despite her muscles still being weak, barely even able to lift her eyelids. It only makes me hold her all the tighter."
 
 
END CHAPTER 10
 
"Tapping at the clock a couple of times before I find the button to stop the alarm, I blearily sit myself up in bed and rub my tired eyes."
 
"Bright summer sunshine already pours through the thin blinds, casting a dull light over the already warming room. Giving up on the prospect of going back to sleep, I pull off the sheets and swing my legs over the side of the bed."
 
"My school clothes are... somewhere. All I can do is scratch my head and yawn as I glance around, the most complex matter my brain can handle at the moment being whether to get dressed or go to the toilet first."
 
"The normal morning routine finds itself interrupted by a noise at the door. The question of whether it's someone knocking for me or just someone bumping against it is answered as another set of knocks comes soon after."
 
"Staggering over while asking whoever it is to wait, I feel something soft underfoot. At least I know where my uniform shirt is, now."
 
"Opening the door reveals a most unexpected sight. Suzu stands silently before me, dressed in her usual light summer dress."
 
"This is a weekday... right? I was sure today was Monday, but unless the Yamaku uniform's significantly changed, the girl before me sure isn't dressed for the day ahead. It hardly helps that I'm more inclined to trust her than myself on suich a matter."
 
mik "I'm so confused."
 
suz "Good morning to you, too."
 
mik "Yeah, 'morning."
 
mik "Why are you even here so early? And what's with the clothes?"
 
suz "I want to go out with you."
 
mik "Out... you mean on a date? Don't we have classes?"
 
suz "It's unlike you to worry about skipping a day."
 
"She's not wrong, per se, but that also misses the point. Suzu's always taken school so seriously that her choosing to skip is almost unthinkable."
 
"Then again, I suppose these aren't normal times. A day where we can just forget all the crap going on and spend time together might well be just what we need."
 
"The fact that Suzu showed up at my door already dressed for a day out is less than subtle; she knew that'd be my mindset, and how likely it'd be that I'd accept. It makes me briefly wonder if I'm really the one leading everything between us."
 
"Resigned to my fate, I give a weary smile."
 
mik "I'll get dressed now. Wait outside the gate so the teachers don't see you."
 
# Timeskip
 
"Walking through the shopping centre hand in hand with Suzu, I can't help but notice how few people are milling about. Aside from a few housewives and old people, the place isn't exactly doing a brisk trade. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, given that most adults are going to be at their workplaces around this time, and teenagers would be in school."
 
"I doubt Suzu is paying attention to the number of people around us, though, with her cheeks slightly rosy as she walks briskly to keep up with me. I might be doing my best to play it off, but this is the first real date I've had as well."
 
suz "What do you want to do first?"
 
"That's a good question. It's probably worth saving my appetite for lunch, and despite clothing store after clothing store, shopping at one doesn't feel like date material. Where's the manual on dating, anyway? I never did get my copy."
 
"As we walk onward, a fancy sign standing next to a bench catches my attention."
 
suz "You want to check out the movie?"
 
mik "I was just thinking how that sign is pretty neat."
 
suz "The sign...?"
 
mik "C'mon, just look at it."
 
"We both do. It seems to be some fancy electronic sign, faintly glowing as it displays some samurai movie advertisement. Not that the movie looks bad, but the way the sign is animated is what gets me, with the text occasionally disappearing and being re-written by fake sword slashes, plus the subtle smoke movements in the background moving around."
 
suz "You sure do like ordinary things."
 
suz "Then again, maybe it is amazing in its own way. Thousands of years of technological development, just to make people buy a product."
 
mik "I was thinking more that you don't see these in the country. We just have plain old posters stuck on train stations."
 
"She looks a little bashful for her flimsy attempt at guessing my mindset. The fact she wants to move the topic on isn't a surprise."
 
suz "So, do you want to check out the movie?"
 
# Timeskip
 
"This is awesome. Nothing beats a good samurai movie."
 
"As we sit in the darkened theatre and watch the big screen, I grin as another fight scene finishes up, the blood flicked off the main character's blade before it's returned to its scabbard. We timed this well; I haven't seen this one before, and there are no annoying kids talking through the movie."
 
"Leaning back and taking a swig of my gigantic drink, I cast a glance to my companion."
 
"It makes me think that maybe taking Suzu to see such a violent movie wasn't such a great idea. Her passive expression might be holding, but only because she's nervously clutching the popcorn bucket to her chest to steady herself."
 
"I really should've picked a chick flick, or at least something a little less violent. Searching for a silver lining, at least this means I have ownership of both the adjacent armrests."
 
"Taking the opportunity as an overly-long pan of some boring scenery starts, I reach beside me to take some popcorn for myself. The only result is my hand grabbing at the air."
 
"She leaned away as I went to take some, the devious little rat."
 
mik "Hey, Suzu?"
 
suz "Yes?"
 
"I lunge over and take a large handful while she's distracted, stuffing the lot into my mouth at once. My chipmunk-like cheeks don't win any favours."
 
# Timeskip
 
"Both of us end up squinting a little as we emerge back into the bright late-morning light of the shopping centre."
 
mik "Man that was great."
 
suz "It sure was... a movie."
 
suz "So you like samurai flicks?"
 
mik "They're the best! You've got the action, you got cool dudes with honour and some great lines, the underdog coming out on top, the valiant sacrifice for the greater good. What's not to like?"
 
suz "Do they have to be so violent?"
 
mik "How can you have a samurai movie without violence? That'd be, like, a historical drama or something."
 
suz "I did like the love interest."
 
mik "Hmm? Oh, right, that cute girl. She was nice."
 
mik "The main dude though was so cool. First you think he's some aimless middle-aged guy, then he becomes someone else completely once he finds his purpose in life."
 
suz "You're not cute at all, are you?"
 
mik "Nope!"
 
"She just looks at me. Did she mean to imply that I should be more feminine? She does like cute things, after all."
 
suz "Want to grab something to eat?"
 
"I initially move to check my watch, but the real reason why she wants to retreat somewhere becomes obvious given the slightly unsteady way she's managing to hold her head up. Was she pushing herself to stay awake during the movie so I wouldn't feel offended?"
 
"Guessing she doesn't want it brought up, I make a show of checking the time in order to feign ignorance."
 
mik "Sure. How about the cafe around there?"
 
"A nod is all the response I need, the two of us setting off."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With lunch eaten and a nap had, we end up aimlesly wandering around for something to do."
 
"As the day's worn on, more and more people have stgarted to show up around the place, including hawkers for tissue packs and flyers.
 
"My feet stop as we almost pass a sports good store, my attention taken by a particular item sitting on a mannequin in the window. Nothing all that unusual for a store to carry, but something that I can't help but notice."
 
"The world feels to drop away as I simply stare. The faceless white mannequin is dressed in full uniform, with boots, socks, pants, undershirt, and jersey. It's even got my number, good ol' fourty-five."
 
"It takes me back. I really do miss those days."
 
suz "Miki, come on."
 
mik "Ah, sure."
 
"I look up one last time to the mannequin, something in me hesitating despite knowing I should just put it out of my mind. What have I achieved since then? Has the year I've been with Suzu just been a temporary peak, like my time playing baseball?"
 
"No matter how I think about it, our relationship can't last. We two so very different people, and once we graduate, we'll end up living such different lives. Just when I thought I had a chance of getting everything together once more, the light at the end of the tunnel starts darkening so quickly."
 
"I'm broken from my thoughts by a girl uselessly tugging at my left arm. It's almost amusing how little she achieves despite pulling with both her hands."
 
suz "We're not here for you to mope around. Come on!"
 
"She tries to walk away with me in tow, doesn't get far."
 
"So that's what this whole thing was about. Suzu was just trying her best to cheer me up after all the fracas we've been through lately, though she'd dare not say it to my face."
 
"I smile a little in spite of myself. Maybe this won't last, maybe it will. What I do know, is that this girl cares for me. That's enough. At least right now, that's all I need to keep going on."
 
# Timeskip
 
"After hitting up about half the stores, mostly just breezing in and out, the two of us settle in for dinner."
 
"While not exactly high-end, given that neither of us could afford such a place, the restaurant's distinctly Italian, or at least pseudo-Italian, styling makes it something a bit different to the norm. At least, that's what it's designed to do."
 
mik "I didn't know you liked pasta."
 
suz "How can anyone not like pasta?"
 
mik "I don't mind the stuff, but you sure wanted to come here when you saw the sign."
 
"Suzu just shrugs as she goes back to reading the menu. She's never been good at feigning disinterest."
 
"My mind starts to wander as I look over the food on offer, the multitude of Italian names meaning little to me. I know spaghetti and lasagne, but the rest are rather lost on me."
 
"By now, the restaurant's at least three-quarters full, the waiters manouvering from table to table with practiced speed. Being the kind of place where tables have two seats and no more, the amount of affectionate chatter and loving glances is almost sickening."
 
"Suzu does her best not to show it, but I can tell she's noticing the lovey-dovey atmosphere just as I am. It annoys me a little that she isn't showing me any affecton despite that, so I decided to take matters into my own hands."
 
mik "Hey, Suzu?"
 
"I quickly lean over the table as she looks up from her menu, pressing my lips to hers just as she's about to speak. I linger for just a moment, taking in those cute, small lips, before withdrawing back to my seat and smiling widely."
 
"Suzu looks ahead of her, mouth just slightly open. She might as well be frozen in stone for all she moves, her face slowly becoming more and more flushed until she's become a bright scarlet. I might have taken things too far, as she looks totally dazed."
 
"The girl's senses finally return to her as she buries her face into her hands, desperately hiding from the outside world."
 
mik "That's what you get for ignoring me."
 
suz "Can't you see we're in public?"
 
mik "So?"
 
"She just keeps her face buried, my eyes beginning to wander to see the public she's so worried about."
 
"I'm used to the occasional sidelong glance from others, but I have a feeling that the looks we're getting from a couple of the others aren't because of my missing hand."
 
"I decide to mess with a woman chancing a badly-hidden peek from under her thick bangs by looking her dead in the eyes. The way she sheepishly turns her head away makes me grin. The question of whether she's looking because she found us cute, curious, or simply offputting comes to mind, but it makes little difference to me."
 
suz "Miki!"
 
"Turning about, it seems my own curiosity has come at the expense of having time to properly select my meal. A waiter, dressed in a rather dapper black and burgundy outfit, stands beside our table while patiently holding his pad and pen ready, Suzu likely already having ordered."
 
mik "Oh, uh, what she's having?"
 
"The waiter gives a curt nod before scrawling the order down without question and heading back towards the kitchen."
 
mik "So... what did I just order?"
 
suz "Twit."
 
mik "I have no idea what any of this stuff is anyway. Maybe I should've just ordered spaghetti after all."
 
suz "Well you're in luck, because that's what I asked for."
 
mik "Really?"
 
suz "No. You'll see when we get it."
 
"I stick out my tongue in response."
 
suz "You could limit your teasing to those you know."
 
mik "I'm just messing around. It's not like I can exactly help that we're the only two girls sharing a table."
 
mik "Maybe if I put my stump up on top, everyone can stare at that instead."
 
suz "I just don't like sticking out."
 
mik "At least you have a choice."
 
mik "Sorry. I guess that came out wrong."
 
suz "This doesn't feel very romantic, does it?"
 
mik "Not at all. Guess I'm not really good with this sort of thing."
 
mik "What about you? It's hard to believe I'm your first partner."
 
suz "I've never had many friends. Offline, at least. What am I going to do, go to a bar and hit on women?"
 
"The image of Suzu trying that is hilarious, sitting on a stool trying to chat up some hot girl next to her in some seedy joint while half-drunk. It doesn't seem to be the reaction she intended for me to have."
 
"More seriously, she does have a point. Introverts sure have it hard, regardless of the fact she's only interested in girls."
 
mik "At least you've got me."
 
suz "For good or ill."
 
suz "Have you... mentioned this? To your father, I mean."
 
mik "Not yet. To be honest, though, I think he'd be more surprised if I came out as straight."
 
"She mamages to eke out a smile, which I count as a small victory. What I say is true though; I often had guys visit my house as friends without any romantic undertones, and got along with them as any other guy would. Not that I didn't like the odd peek at their bodies."
 
"Our conversation enters a lull as we notice the waiter coming up with what we presume to be our dishes, only for him to walk past and serve them to a different table."
 
suz "It's annoying when that happens."
 
mik "I know, right? You get all excited about being able to dig in, only for the chance to fly right by."
 
mik "Thanks for paying for this, by the way."
 
suz "You paid for the movie, so it's only fair."
 
"Unsaid is that the movie cost a lot less than what this meal will. I kind of appreciate Suzu not bringing that up, though."
 
"Once again a waiter begins to walk towards our table, the two of us hoping against hope that this is out food. Our wishes turn out to be true, with the waiter politely setting down our plates and drinks before bidding us to have a good meal."
 
"The pasta sure looks nice, whatever it's called. Shaped like little bow-ties, it's covered in a thick layer of steaming sauce and parmesan cheese. I'm salivating just from looking at it."
 
suz "It's farfalle, if you're wondering."
 
mik "Delicious is what it is. Less talk, more eat."
 
"I quickly dig in, fork in hand. Managing to burn my tongue with my eageerness, I end up taking a swig of my drink to try and soothe the pain before carefully blowing on the next mouthful."
 
"It really is nice. The sauce is delightfully rich, and the pasta's well-cooked. Not too dry, but not too soggy. The smell makes the taste all the better, making me savour the somewhat small portion as best I can."
 
"Seated across from me, Suzu carefully nibbles at her own meal. She looks a bit like a chipmunk, almost seeming to graze given how little she puts into her mouth each time. At least she'll make the food last as long as it possibly could, I suppose."
 
mik "Good?"
 
suz "Yeah."
 
"A girl of few words, and even fewer when eating."
 
"I move to speak, but pause as I realise that her usual quiet nature and slow eating aren't what's at play. All of her movements are terribly slow, and what I'd taken as her simply looking at her food now appears to be an attempt to hide the effort she's putting in to do eve that much."
 
"It's been a long day for the both of us, and now that I think of it, a single short nap at lunch probably wouldn't be enough for her. We've been at this since the very beginning of the day, after all."
 
"I don't want to remind her of it, but it's a little painful to see her barely even chewing her food from tiredness. The sheer concentration she's using to accomplish even the most mundane tasks would be using up even more of what little energy she has left."
 
mik "Suzu. Suzu...!"
 
"Failing to get her attention, I put my fork down and give her shoulder a mild shake."
 
"Suzu's face could only be described as one of defeat. She knows she lost this fight without a word needing to be said."
 
mik "It's okay."
 
"The last of her resistance breaks, head falling down and twisting sideways onto her arm. Her mostly-eaten meal sits beside her."
 
"Resting my chin on my hand, I idly look at her sleeping face. It really does seem like these are the only times I ever get to see Suzu with her guard down."
 
"Time wears on as one couple leaves, and then another. We've outlasted everyone who was here before us by now, and after absentmindedly sipping at my drink for want of something to do, my third glass is almost empty."
 
"Try as I might, it's getting hard to deny that she's going to be out for a good while. I don't seem to have much of a choice, here."
 
"Suzu's probably been pushing herself to stay awake as long as she probably could, and now she's paying the price. I doubt she'll be happy with me cutting things short for her sake, but for all I know, she could be out for hours."
 
"Accepting my fate and considering the day's fun over, I motion to a passing waiter and ask for the bill."
 
# Timeskip
 
"I wonder how many times I've made my way up this hill with a slumbering girl on my back."
 
"Not that I mind doing so. Being useful to someone is something I've always needed, and it's good exercise in any case. Then there's the view."
 
"Shining through the darkness of the night, the street lamps and resident's lit windows shine up from the town below. People, hundreds of them, reduced to so many pinpricks of light in the black expanse. All those lives, reduced to little more than lonely splotches."
 
"It's made all the more poetic by the total lack of life around the two of us. All that's to be heard is the occasional rustle of gravel underfoot at the side of the road."
 
mik "It's pretty, isn't it, Suzu?"
 
"No answer. I can't say it's a surprise."
 
"The air is nice and cool compared to the day's heat. It's calming."
 
"My enjoyment of the night's stroll is disrupted as I become aware of my shoulder becoming wet. She's started to drool on me now? Not cool."
 
"The resigned smile on my face soon drops, however, as a quiet whimper comes from Suzu. The dead silence around us makes the sound impossible to mistake."
 
"I try to think of a time when Suzu's teared-up before, but it's hard. Aside from the time I first met her, and once or twice when she's hurt herself, she's never been much for crying."
 
"There's nothing I could say to help- the situation, so I end up keeping my mouth shut. It would suck to try so hard to make this a great day, only to have it stolen from you at the last moment."
 
suz "I'm sorry. It's always like this."
 
mik "Come on, that's my line."
 
mik "I had fun today, Suzu. It's been the best day in a damn long while, actually."
 
"Suzu's sobbing stops, but only because she's pushed her face into my shoulder to try and steady herself."
 
mik "I should be the one apologising. I've always been a brute, after all. I'm selfish, a total simpleton, stupid, and I manage to make a total mess of everything all the time."
 
mik "Compared to me, you come out pretty good."
 
"Silence returns as I continue to trudge up the hill. I come so very close to asking the one question I want an answer to, but also the one that would likely mean the end of us being together if I asked it."
 
"I wish I could say that I'm trying to keep us together for the sake of Suzu's happiness, but I know I'd be lying to myself. I need her. I needed her ever since that fateful day those years go, and if I lost her, I don't know what I'd do."
 
"It's Suzu who breaks the silence, giving four whispered words."
 
suz "Thank you. For everything."
 
mik "You're welcome."
 
 
END CHAPTER 11
 
 
"Walking into class, it seems like it'll be another ordinary day."
 
"Suzu sits bored at her desk as she looks out the window, having joined the other early arrivals to class. With Hisao talking to Misha and Shizune, and Haru not yet here, I stride up to her."
 
mik "Good morning, Suzu. You look very... happy?"
 
"She just stares at me with that bored face of hers. Assuming I was wrong, I take another try."
 
mik "...Depressed?"
 
mik "...Annoyed?"
 
mik "I give up. I don't even know why I bother trying."
 
"I hop up on the side of my desk to talk to her, for lack of anything else to do."
 
mik "Ready for the test after lunch?"
 
suz "Test?"
 
mik "Yeah. Mutou mentioned it a few days ago."
 
"She just shrugs. It's unlike Suzu to forget something like that, let alone not care about it. I guess her mind's still on other matters, not that I'm completely innocent of that either."
 
suz "Are you still going to quit the track club?"
 
mik "Hmm... probably. Just a matter of telling the teacher in charge, really."
 
suz "Don't. Do anything else you want, but don't do that."
 
mik "Unlike you to feel so strongly about that kind of thing."
 
suz "Only because you don't feel strongly enough. You've been in that club for years, don't quit on my behalf."
 
mik "It's not all for you, you know. I thought you'd like seeing me a bit more."
 
"Suzu just stares at me. I don't know whether to appreciate her unusual strength of will on the issue, or be somewhat hurt by her rejecting having more time together. The more I stay like I am, the less I feel as if we really belong with each other, but now she acts like this when I try to bridge that gap."
 
mik "Alright, I'll hold off. I guess we can talk about it later."
 
"She nods simply, apparently pleased with the compromise."
 
mik "Come on, Suzu. What's up? You're in a weird mood today."
 
suz "I'm fine. You should just cherish your friends more."
 
"I can't say I'm totally placated by the response, but she has a fair point. Maybe someone like her, who's rarely had many, is the best kind of person to listen to on such matters."
 
"With Haru skipping into the room moments before the first teacher of the day walks in, the both of them very nearly late, I hop off my desk and take a seat. Suzu really does seem out of sorts today, but that wall between her and I is strong as ever."
 
# Timeskip
 
"With the class having returned from lunch, Mutou begins his lecturing on what today's test will cover. Little more than a retread of what we've been taught on the current topic, with a few harder questions thrown in to check what we've retained over the holidays."
 
"I might pass, though it'll be close if I do. In any case, that's less of a concern to me right now than the empty desk to my left."
 
"The other students just walked by as if nothing were amiss, perhaps throwing a casual glance at Suzu's empty seat before writing it off as yet another episode of her narcolepsy.It'd be easy to think that way myself if not for recent events."
 
"But I'm not the only one who knows what's happened in the past. Rumours regarding me, and by extension her, aren't hard to catch on the wind. Does everyone really think this is normal, or are they just giving themselves an excuse not to get involved?"
 
"It is most likely just another nap, but I can't concentrate at all. Knowing that I have no other option, I raise my hand."
 
mut "Yes, Miura?"
 
mik "I feel sick. Can I go to the nurse's office?"
 
"'I'll bet', his face says. He wouldn't be wrong."
 
"Mutou sighs, but we both know that he has little option but to let me go. It'll be a pain for him to rerun the test for my sake, but he'd have needed to for Suzu, anyway."
 
mut "Hakamichi, escort Miura down there, please."
 
"Shizune nods, with Misha getting up to follow her."
 
mut "Not you, Mikado. I think you know why."
 
"The sting is palpable as she sits herself back down, Hisao doing his best to silently console her."
 
"Shizune walks over and motions for me to follow her out, Mutou wasting no time in getting back to his pre-test briefing."
 
"The two of us quietly walk down the abandoned hallway, the sound of one teacher following another as we walk past the filled classrooms. My body feels unbearably tense, which I'd hoped would stop once I gained my freedom from class."
 
"I notice that Shizune's pulled her her notepad as she walks in front of me, scrawling something down. At least nobody can accuse us of making a noise in the corridors like this."
 
shi "[What's the story?]"
 
"I really need to work on my lying. Knowing that Shizune would get to the truth eventually, I decide to give up without a fight as I take the notepad and pen."
 
mik "[I want to check on Suzu. I promise I'll come straight back if it turns out to be nothing.]"
 
"Handing the items back, it takes her a moment to decipher my hasty chicken scratch. It's clear she isn't pleased with the proposal, but her answer after handing them back is a surprise."
 
shi "[Go.]"
 
"With my mind occupied with my new goal, I verbally thank her before realising the mistake, taking off without checking her reaction."
 
"I move as fast as I dare down the stairs and onto the lower floor, lest a teacher pull me aside to scold me for running in the hallways. I don't bother looking to this class or that any more, only the path ahead."
 
"Emerging from the main entrance into the empty school gardens, the fresh air hitting my face spurs me into a flat run. There's little point to walking now that I'm outside, and the distance from here to the dormitories isn't great."
 
"There aren't many places someone like Suzu would be, after all. If she were in the library, it's likely one of the staff there would at least try to wake her, leaving the dormitory as the most likely place she'd retreat."
 
"It doesn't take long to reach the building, taking a moment to have a breath before opening the door and heading inside."
 
"Those horrid artificial lights above the entrance blare away, their slightly too perfect white glare sharply contrasting with the sunlight outside. Wasting little time, I stride through to the stairwell."
 
"The quiet of the dormitory building entrance is just as present in the wing housing her room. I know it's unlikely I'd hear her if she was indeed sleeping, but I can't help but wonder if I guessed the wrong location nevertheless."
 
"With her door shut as expected, and knowing that knocking would be pointless given that she wouldn't hear it if she were asleep, I fish out her key from my pocket and insert it into the lock. The door gives a satisfying click as it unlocks, a slight push sending it swinging open."
 
"I have to squint a little in response to the sunlight pouring into her room from the small window, my gaze shifting to the figure seated on the side of her bed. A glint of light catches my eye as I do so."
 
"My heart stops."
 
"The girl's eyes look downward with a distant stare."
 
"Her left arm rests on her leg, the palm upturned and sleeve pulled up."
 
"The point of a small utensil rests against the wrist, held by her right hand."
 
"A kitchen knife. Suzu is holding a kitchen knife against her forearm."
 
"My centre of gravity shifts forwards, my body immediately taking over where my mind has failed."
 
"I'm already almost upon her by the time Suzu notices my presence, adrenaline almost feeling to pour from my eyes, such is the amount coursing through my body. Every motion is born of pure reflex as I come over her, my mind lagging terribly behind in comprehending the situation."
 
"Time feels to slow as I fall on top of her, my left stump pushing her right hand outward as my bent right forearm is shoved against her neck. Her dazes expression tells of her not having any idea what's just happened in the last two seconds as we tumble downward."
 
"Crashing to the bed, we find outselves tangled. With my hand still pressed to Suzu's neck holding her down, her right arm held against the bed with my left forearm, all I'm left to do is stare down at her with our faces barely inches from each other."
 
"Despite unambiguously being the one in physical control of the situation, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. What comes after something like that?"
 
"It's Suzu's eyes that give the first indication of what's happened, bulging wide as tears begin to well up. Her breath catches as she desperately attempts to keep some control over herself."
 
"Her face twists and distorts as she tries to keep a flood of emotions in, but it's utterly hopeless. Her tears overflow and begin to fall over her cheeks, first as a trickle, before becoming a river."
 
"I want to say something to help her, anything at all, but I'm powerless. Even as hold myself inches over Suzu's frail body, the girl I love so much just... breaks."
 
"All semblance of composure shatters as the dam breaks, her whimpers breaking out into wild bawling. My heart breaks as I watch her body seize and convulse beneath mine, her wailing face overflowing with tears."
 
"Everything is messed up. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't suppoed to be anything like this."
 
"I'm so sorry, Suzu..."
 
END CHAPTER 12
 
"The soft breeze is cool as I sit watching the gaggle of guys fooling around on the track. Seated in the shade of the trees lining the edge of the track area, I simply lack the energy to get up and join in."
 
"It's been a week since that terrible day. Might as well have been yesterday, as far as my memory is concerned. The image of her sitting there, knife in hand, solemnly contemplating the end of her existance with those distant eyes still makes me feel physically sick. I'll never for get that scene, no matter how long I live."
 
"Suzu hasn't been at school since then, with her parents having collected her. A cover story of unspecified family issues was given as the reasoning for her temporary disappearance, which seems to have stuck. Like all good rumours, it had just enough truth to be believable, and few dared ask questions of the girl who'd just flattened a guy over her."
 
"A piece of bread in its plastic wrapper suddenly dangles in front of my face. Despite not having an appetite at all, I take the packet just to get him off my back."
 
"As expected, it's Hisao who takes a seat beside me. He and Haru are the only others who know the truth, beyond the teachers and staff. As for Suzu and her family, I haven't heard a peep since that fateful day."
 
mik "I'm not hungry."
 
his "I don't care."
 
"His tone is harsher than I'm used to, and with little fight left in me, I obediently rip open the thin packaging."
 
"Even if I'm loathe to admit it, the smell of fresh bread playing on my nose does incite a small hunger. The two of us end up eating our lunches side by side, the distant sounds of playing and shouting drifting in the air."
 
"As we munch away, I can't help but say what's on my mind."
 
mik "It feels weird, doesn't it? Everyone else playing around, completely oblivious to what happened."
 
his "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like everything diverged from that moment, with the rest of the world in a different timeline to the one we're in. Nobody treats us any differently, but in a way, that's the problem."
 
"As always, Hisao's the one to find words where I struggle for them."
 
his "I know you lied about the relationship between you and Suzu, back when I asked."
 
mik "Sorry. I just... I wanted a clean slate, you know? Someone who I could deal with as if none of that crap had ever happened."
 
mik "I guess that's kind of impossible now, huh?"
 
"Hisao just looks to me expectantly. I can't keep this from him any longer, and after all the support he's given me, he deserves to know."
 
"I take a long breath, thinking back to those days. It isn't something I enjoy doing."
 
mik "I suppose you've gathered by now that I used to be an unpleasant kind of person."
 
his "Yeah, something like that."
 
mik "Most of the kids who enter Yamaku are pretty well-adjusted, normal folk. Just your usual kids who happened to have some shit luck. I wasn't like that."
 
mik "After I lost my hand, I guess you could say I went off the rails. I got off on beating people, to put it bluntly. Pretty much anyone who I didn't like the look of, but mainly those who looked down on me. I'd always been built pretty damn well, by the standards of a girl or a guy. That strength was damn near all I had left, so I used it."
 
his "A real delinquent, huh?"
 
mik "Nothing so romantic. I was just a shithead bully. Nothing more."
 
mik "Over the years, I got a reputation. One I deserved, mind you. People didn't stand up to me, and I could see the humility people had if they felt they'd gotten in my way. I'm not gonna lie; it felt good. I felt powerful again. It gave me a twisted sense of accomplishment and status."
 
mik "But one day, I met someone who didn't know about that reputation."
 
his "The day you met Suzu."
 
"I give a nod."
 
mik "I don't remember everything about that day, but I do remember the way Suzu looked."
 
mik "She was sitting on the ground near the storage shed. Could barely see her between the legs of the three girls and some guy who were standing around insulting at her. Something about the situation annoyed me, so I walked up to them and challenged the girl who seemed to be leading the little charade."
 
his "That's pretty admirable. Standing up for her when you didn't need to, that is."
 
mik "Yeah, that would be admirable. I still don't know if I genuinely wanted help her, or if just had a chip on my shoulder that day."
 
mik "In any case, the girls backed off after recognising me, but the guy made the mistake of picking an argument. I think he was the boyfriend of one of them, or something. He started going off about Suzu, and how she'd screwed up something or rather. I honestly didn't care much."
 
mik "But then he made the mistake of insulting me. I can't recall what he said, but something inside of me tripped."
 
his "What happened then?"
 
mik "I broke him."
 
"Silence wishes over us, Hisao leaning back as I realise the dark face I must be making right now as I remember the event. The ambient noise of people playing around ahead feels slightly surreal, given the atmosphere."
 
his "You didn't kill him, did you?"
 
mik "I wasn't far off. I just... I went absolutely beserk on him. I don't even know if I got hurt or not; every part of my mind was purely dedicated to destroying his body."
 
mik "If a couple of teachers hadn't found us and dragged me off the guy, I really don't know what might have happened."
 
"I take a breath to pull myself out of the moment. Hisao just looks on, understandably speechless as macabre images fill his thoughts."
 
"This is the first time I've told anybody this stuff myself, come to think of it. Such things tend to get around quickly though, so everyone in school at the time largely knew, in vagueries if not in detail."
 
his "And Suzu?"
 
mik "I remember seeing her face as the teachers pulled me away."
 
mik "No, not her face. Her fear. I'd never seen someone so terrified in my life."
 
mik "I think that was the first moment I realised what a detestable being I'd become. That someone could look at me, and see something that gave them that much fear."
 
his "For what it's worth, I'd never have guessed it. You've always seemed like a pretty laid-back kind of person to me."
 
his "Now that I think of it, what happened afterwards? Surely you didn't get out of that without punishment."
 
mik "I was pretty much set for expulsion. By that point the staff were looking for an excuse to throw me out, and it's not like I had any friends willing to come in and bat for me."
 
mik "But then, one day... it was never mentioned again."
 
his "They dropped the matter?"
 
mik "Yeah. It was the strangest thing."
 
mik "It was so bizarre that my curiosity got the better of me. The staff weren't going to tell me anything, so I ended up fingering the student council for information."
 
mik "Turned out that they'd taken up my cause and argued that I had my reasons. That Suzu was being bullied, and I was defending myself after trying to argue them away from her."
 
his "Why would they do that, though?"
 
mik "Beause a particular girl told them that's what happened."
 
"Seizing on the lull in conversation, I set about finishing the bread in my hand. Hisao just looks out to the field ahead, thinking on what I've said."
 
his "So you felt a debt to her?"
 
mik "I'm not the kind of person to worry about that sort of thing."
 
his "Yeah... I noticed."
 
mik "Asshole."
 
mik "Rather than a debt, it's more... I felt useful to someone."
 
mik "That's why we ended up hanging around each other. Suzu had no friends, so when I was around, she wouldn't get bullied, and had someone to help if she had a cataplexy attack or suddenly felt sleepy."
 
mik "As for me, it was mere curiosity at first. Working out why she'd done such a thing. After a while, though, I realised that I had a purpose again. I could live for Suzu's sake."
 
mik "That girl saved me."
 
his "You shouldn't forget that you saved her. It's a miracle you got to her in time."
 
mik "Saved her? I did no such thing. It's my fault she even fell that far to begin with."
 
mik "I thought I could change. That I could somehow redeem myself. In the end, it was all a fantasy."
 
his "Suzu told me something once. I didn't understand why she felt about it so strongly then, but now it makes sense."
 
mik "Yeah?"
 
his "She said that she didn't believe in the concept of 'good people' or 'bad people'. Just people, who do good or bad things."
 
"It's the kind of hopelessly naieve thing she'd believe. She's lived a sheltered life, after all. That's not a bad thing in itself, but her innocence because of it makes her attempts to form a worldview look childish."
 
"From the way Hisao's smiling, she managed to get at least one believer. It would be nice to think that I'm somehow a different person to twho I was those years ago, but I imagine those I hurt would have very different opinions."
 
"A buzzing sound suddenly comes from Hisao's pocket, his hand quickly diving in to retrieve his phone. He looks to me with an expression of surprise after glancing at the display."
 
his "It's Tsubasa..."
 
END CHAPTER 13
 
 
"I can practically hear my heart thumping away as I walk through the park. While I do my best to appear casual, I don't think Hisao buys it."
 
"An offer to talk to Suzu once more finally came, perhaps unsurprisingly from her sister rather than her parents. It's the first contact I've had with her since that day, and I really have no idea what to expect."
 
"While I may have hoped that the time that's passed would have dulled my memories, they're still as fresh as ever. Moreover, if it's bad for me, it could only be worse for her."
 
his "You okay?"
 
mik "Almost pissing myself, actually. Thanks for coming with me."
 
"Hisao claps me on the shoulder a couple of times. He needn't have come, but I must've made a pitiable impression on him when I implied I wouldn't be comfortable doing this alone."
 
"As we clear the trees, a lonely wooden park bench comes into view, with a lonely girl seated on it. Only the top of the back of her head is visible, but there's no mistaking her."
 
"I stop in my tracks. Now that I can see her, I'm forced to admit that it feels wrong to bring Hisao into this. It's not his fault any of this happened, and I'm the one with the most time spent with Suzu."
 
"My mind begins to fill with all the events that lead to this situation, what might have been in her head as she stared into the abyss of nonexistence, what I did to make her hurt so badly, and what I could've done to stop it. What I saw, what I didn't see, what I did, and what I didn't."
 
his "Miki?"
 
"I take a sigh to steady myself. It makes me feel a little sheepish, but I have to admit the obvious."
 
mik "Sorry, Hisao, but..."
 
"He just smiles. It's always bugged me how easy it is to make him wear a smile, but how hard to is to make him genuinely do so. This, at least, is the latter."
 
his "I understand. Good luck."
 
mik "Thanks. I owe you one."
 
"He turns on the ball of his heel and begins to stroll off, hand held in the air."
 
his "I'll hold you to that."
 
"With that, he disappears into the trickle of people walking along the concrete path out of the park. It's just me and Suzu, now."
 
"With my heart in my mouth, I walk up to the bench and park myself beside her. My first mistake is waiting for her to greet me before doing the same, with an awkward silence lingering after she fails to say a word."
 
"Indeed, her only reaction to my presence is a quick sideways glance before looking straight ahead once more. The only silver lining is that I feel a little less conspicuous as I examine her as best I can."
 
"The most immediate observation is that she looks small. I do my best to try and work out why, but come to the conclusion that it isn't physical, beyond her slumped shoulders. She gives the aura of someone wholly defeated, the spark of life within her glowing terribly dim."
 
"It doesn't look as if she's been crying recently, at least. A little thinner for the experience, perhaps, but she's always been a problematic eater."
 
"Content that I'm not going to work out anything further from looking at the girl, I take a breath and try to work out what I'll say."
 
"...Which is impossible. Do I address her casually, like today's just another day? We both know that wouldn't be the case. How do I even begin to approach what happened, though? Is she mad at me for stopping her? Thankful? Does she want to break up with me, or stay together?"
 
"Giving up on making conversation, I simply reach out to rub Suzu's hair."
 
"A strange feeling comes over me the moment I place my hand on her head and begin to stroke her. A sense of calm, in sharp contrast to the previous anxiety of facing her again."
 
"She's just Suzu, after all. The same girl I've known for all this time. Maybe she feels something similar to what I am, as her cheeks have become distinctly rosy."
 
"Time goes by as I gently stroke her head, but try as we might, we can't ignore what's happened. Suzu's eyes begin to moisten, her mouth trembling as she tries desperate to hold in her emotions."
 
"Slowly but surely, tears begin to form, overflowing and gently rolling down her cheeks. My heart drops as I watch her, the girl weeping in sorrowful silence."
 
"I wrap my arms around Suzu and bring her head to my chest, holding her shuddering body to mine in a warm embrace. It's from her that the first words come."
 
suz "I'm sorry."
 
mik "Come on now, none of this is your fault. I'm the one who messed everything up, but it feels like you're the one taking the fall."
 
suz "Stop saying that."
 
mik "Isn't it true though?"
 
"She picks herself off of me, wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist. She's managed to pull herself together a little, but barely."
 
suz "You're not terrible person, Miki. You're beautiful, outgoing, kind..."
 
suz "Unlike me. All I ever do is constantly cause others problems. No matter how hard I try, I've always been useless..."
 
mik "You had the courage to confess. That takes some guts, especially to another girl."
 
suz "I panicked. That's all that happened."
 
suz "For so long I stood on the sidelines and tried to help you improve yourself, and saw your circle of friends getting greater and greater. When I saw you with Hisao, I realised that you'd finally become someone who might have a bright future ahead of them."
 
suz "But then, when you mentioned you that chose to come to my house..."
 
suz "To put it in your terms, I guess it was like instinctively reaching for something thrown towards you."
 
suz "I'd always thought you were straight, but even if you weren't, I was a useless person to begin with. I didn't have the right to be with someone like you."
 
suz "But when I heard that, when I saw the first ray of hope I'd seen for so long... I grabbed at it without thinking."
 
mik "You should be proud of that. I know I made things worse, but I was trying to change for you..."
 
"I trail off as her expression falls to one of abject despair."
 
suz "Yes, that's right, isn't it."
 
suz "Everyone has to change because of me. Everyone has to make allowances, and act differently."
 
mik "Suzu..."
 
suz "I love you, Miki! You're strong-willed, you're brave, you look out for others. You have such a strong spark of life, more than anyone I've ever known."
 
suz "I don't care if you think you're stupid or rough, or what you've done in the past."
 
suz "Miki, I didn't fall for you because of what I wanted you to be. I fell for you because of what you are. When I saw how I messed up, hurting the one I loved the very most..."
 
"I feel a big lump in my throat as I stare at Suzu, her delcaration of her feelings hammering home. I'm not gonna cry. I told myself that I damn well wasn't gonna cry."
 
mik "Damn it, Suzu. You had me scared, you know? More scared than I've ever been in my life."
 
"I reach for Suzu and grab her tightly, pressing her into my chest with all the strength I can muster."
 
suz "Miki, you're holding me too tight..."
 
mik "Too bad, because I'm not letting you go. I don't want to lose you, Suzu. Not again."
 
mik "I won't change. I promise."
 
"As I hold her body tightly, her arms find their way around my back."
 
"For the first time, I feel like we truly understand each other. There are no walls any more. All there is, is me and her."
 
"I lost everything, all thos eyears ago. But now, I realise I've found someone truly worth the pain I've felt since then."
 
"My precious Suzu, who I so nearly lost."
 
 
END CHAPTER 14