So, the idea here is for me to talk about random stuff regarding home here. Like for starters, they don’t even speak English there. I don’t really remember a lot of specific details shortly after ‘coming back’, but I can remember that much. This is why I generally like to keep more logs from when I talk to my friends. Unfortunately my last computer broke. The only logs attached to this stuff were backed up in emails or on google documents or what have you.
 
        It’s a very strange feeling, knowing they are speaking some other language while I’m there, but also understanding it more easily than English. It’s like the soul has it’s own memory storage independent of the brain. Albeit in a very limited fashion. When I’m there, for the most part, I do not have a body. I feel like some kind of ghost or specter. I don’t know, it feels strange to draw the parallel, but if you’ve ever seen ‘The Others’, it’s kind of like that... I only really acknowledge things I have an intense emotional attachment to. This is part of what made reconnecting with my body so amazing to me. It sort of lifted the veil as it were. I’ve even started to wonder if the soul isn’t just like cloud storage or something,, and the brain(or at least part of it) is a hard drive. Maybe the whole reason for sleep/dreaming is to sync memories between the two. It’d explain why visits home are so fuzzy, the information just isn’t stored on ‘this’ device. The connection between the two just isn’t very good while awake without trying to alter the state of your mind or something. Anyway, in my experience, not having a body and being some incredibly fixated shadow of yourself sucks. I guess that’s why we need bodies at all. They’re pretty lame otherwise.
 
        If I had to describe the language, I’d say it sounds like someone took a hatchet to Latin and mixed it with something Scandinavian, I’m not very good at separating those languages from each other.
 
        One incredibly vivid experience I had was when I finally got my body over there to sit up, and could actually take a good look at my surroundings. Mom had me eat some lunch because you know, emaciated. It was a grilled cheese sandwich with little carrots that had been peeled, sliced diagonally, steamed, and cooked in butter inside. I ate it with the most amazing bowl of tomato soup I will probably ever have. This is funny because three months later the season three finale was coming, and they released party recipes. I felt like the universe was playing a pretty intense prank on me when I saw ‘Princess Luna’s Glorious Grilled Cheese Sandwiches', at least they suggested cheddar instead of singles...
 
        Sometimes there are weeks where I just can’t get home at all, and I feel even more miserable than usual. My roommate describes it as: “Sometimes it looks like you’re smiling, if it weren’t obvious you were in agony.” I have no reason for why this is, but it almost always coincides with me feeling ‘magically dead’. A seemingly foolish claim to make, because even when I feel ‘full’, I don’t have enough in me to lift a sheet of paper. The only thing that seems to happen is me zapping myself on my laptop’s plastic case, or with running water. At the very worst my roommate ordered me to leave the building because apparently, as long as I was there the internet wouldn’t work. I’m not sure I am willing to believe that much though. Life is just weird.
 
        As far as memories go, I’m pretty sure I’m here because a bunch of fae-like beings were in charge of the night before my mom came around. So after she took control of things from those fickle jerks, they thought stealing her daughter away would be a great way to get revenge. Apparently, she didn’t react too well to that, and I honestly feel kinda guilty. I was always closer to Tia than her, mostly because I wanted to go to a proper school, and not just be tutored, so I wanted her to teach me to be more ‘thinking’ and less ‘feeling’. Emotions seem to crash against me in waves, and I think my mom is the same way. So just another pony rejecting something that is a huge part of her, I suppose...
 
        She’s also into some seriously dark magic, from what I can tell, and that really kinda makes me feel uncomfortable...
 
        I feel like there is more I should put down here, more I should be leaving behind than this, but I guess this really is everything. It is at least everything I can think of.