> You own the world's oldest fluffy pony
> Seven years, eight months, and still alive
> You had other fluffy ponies, but they kept dying in increasingly unlikely ways
> With this one you decided to take special measures
> Quadruple amputee
> Strapped down to memory foam pillow so she can't wriggle away
> Horn filed down so she can't set herself on fire
> Fed via IV, so she can't choke on her food
> Iron lung in case she stops breathing
> Pacemaker keeps her heart beating
> First thing every morning and when you get back from work, check on fluffy pony to make sure she's still alive
> So far, she always has been
> You can tell by the tears